Secret Affairs The Right Way

$80,000 on prostitutes. WOW! I am still blown away that Elliot Spitzer would spend so much money on sex with prostitutes. And to trust these women wouldn't rat him out? I can't understand why he just didn't have an affair. He certainly could have gotten a woman on his own. I think its the sugar daddy theory there. I pay, I owe no emotion, I owe nothing. Who knows. Life is a circle...what he crusaded for and fought to destroy is what ended up destroying him.

I should write a cheaters guide. I mean common sense things just to not get caught. So today I am compiling my beginner list of recommendations.

1) Married, married, married. I can't emphasize that enough. You have a family, I have a family...we are unhappy, we need more. A perfect setup. A perfect connection. I can't even count how many men I have met on Ashley Madison. I mean quality men. And I have male friends who have met quality women. Having affairs for over a year already. So it works. As long as the two don't fall in love....you are okay. Respect each others lives....and if you part, you part as friends.

2) Phones and emails. Well this has been the biggest downfall for everyone who I know who ever got caught. A text message found. You leave your computer on and your history is checked or your email account is browsed by your wife. Ladies and gentleman....erase your mail and pix.

3) Respect your secret lovers schedule. don't call when you know they may be home. Know when it is safe and when it is not.

4) Part as friends. Hey, reality is....a spouse does not care if the affair was a week or a year ago. so always keep on friendly parting terms.

5) Do not give your life story to someone online....First, Last, Company telephone number...until you know you can trust them.

6) Keep your GPS off while you are traveling to a meeting place. I noticed the otherday my GPS had the motel in my history.......

7) Erase your Inbox for calls received, missed, called.

8) Code your lover in your phone. Yes, I have my lovers coded. One is called...unavalable. The other is called Resticted and Unknowm.....Hmmmm....did you notice they are all spelled wrong? At a quick glance, if anyone looks at your phone.....they won't notice it.

9) Keep to a schedule....don't start keeping strange hours.

10) Have fun!

Okay that's my advice for today.

Mr. Porsche and I are back on track. Mr. Electricity are doing okay. And Mystery Man...hmm...seemed to disappear a little this week. Not a peep out of him all week. But I am not upset. I have those fine memories....

As for work....I got killed today. 6AM a client calling screaming at me. A website problem that actually was his fault. I decided, I am going to start charging a PITA Retainer (Pain In The Ass Clients). Sigh......he actually shook me.

Hubby....oh let's see....he poisoned my daughter this week (she got into food she shouldn't have because he wasn't watching her) and I found out his license was suspended. Is there anyone out there that thinks I should still stay with this man?