My New Sexy Toy and The Psychic

So.....I told you I bought a new bullet. Aahh!! I love my sex toys. The hubby still has not returned mine (after numerous requests--its definitely a control thing). so I went out and bought a new bullet.

This one is hidden like a compact. Okay, it looks more like a large perfume bottle..all marbelized and way too big for a normal compact. But I keep with my perfume bottles and so far it has not been discovered. However, the hubby did notice that batteries were missing (interesting the man watches my batter intake).

So, I have to tell you. I am happy that he stole the bullet. Yup! the good and plenty bullet that I had is child's play compared to the power of this one and the size is even larger. I am not crazy about the marble look (kind of made me think I was having sex with a zebra at one point--a fleeting thought and pretty gross).

So I turned the baby on and YUM!!! The buzz was perfect. My clit reacted immediately...I think I had an orgasm within seconds. Now that was out of the way, it was time to really start playing. This baby does magic on my clit...giving it a little earthquake action. Playing down, slowly inserting it my pussy.....my walls just wrapped around the vibrator...nice...snug as a glove. Faster and faster in and out.....I could feel my body begin to twitch....I relax my whole body to enhance the inevitable orgasm...as it starts to come, I can feel my whole body twitching. My walls were pulsating in and out....oh man...this was nice.

They say three is a charm!! Do I dare? Do I see its feel in my ass? Well we all know I have been having this anal sex fetish lately. Gotta tell ya, my butt is tight. After a little playing around and a few attempts....my buddy was in. And, it was worth the wait. Is is because it something new to me? Is it because it is so tight? Or can it be because the vibrations are able to hit areas that the vibrator can't when its inside my pussy? Not sure what the science or reasoning is behind it really--- I had the most amazing orgasm. Guess it was like an earthquake because I could feel this most amazing euphoria come over me as my body was pulsating. WOW!!

Mr. Springer was telling me that most women can squirt but they have never been brought to such levels. Is this true? I can't imagine the sensations and overwhelming enjoyment that would bring. Sigh...I have never been there. Of course it could be like my theory on certain foods... never had it, you can't crave it. So maybe its best that I have never had that happen because that sounds like its something I would want over and over and over again!!!

Tonight....tonight is the night I go to the Psychic. Aah!! I am petrified. I know, I know not everyone believes in it. Part of me says if the psychic was that good why are they always living in small rundown places. If you could see the future or predict it or talk to the dead--come on wouldn't you take a peak at the Stock Market or see what inventions are going to be big and go for it?

I have this vision of me stepping into the room tonight and her being overwhelmed by my aura (and not in a good way!) "So, you are a cheater!!! And I certainly don't want to be lectured by my dead family member....

Okay, have a great weekend and I will let you know how it goes. Had to cancel on Mr. Prize...that did not make me happy. I had no choice (sigh).

3 Different Cocks?? A Perfect Day!!!

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Stress + A Lazy Day = Masturbation

Well I think I was trying to break a record today. Sadly, the hubby still has not returned my toys (I'm asking for them back tonight!) so it was manual labor for me. Lots of work for my hands. Can you develop Carpal Tunnel from masturbating too much?

I was home alone for most of the day today. Instead of cleaning (like I really had to do) I took a nap. Wild dreams were flying through my head. Dreams of me with two men, with a woman....I don't know what the hell I drank before I went to bed to encourage such erotic dreams. I was tied up through it though. People I didn't know were just entering the room and playing with me. Hmm....wonder what it all means. Anyway, I woke up so damn horny. Beyond belief.

So I began to play. Removing my undies, and rubbing my clit. IT felt so damn good. I love those circles with lost of pressure on the clit. Some of my own juices as lube and it felt amazing. First one finger inserted inside of me, then two....mmmm....stretching my walls, in search of that magic spot....the anticipation, the pressure building...it felt so damn amazing. My body sometimes craves an orgasm. Today was one of those days. I could feel the wave about to cum, starting to overcome my whole body and then....the pulsations and that wave of euphoria.

I wanted to see if I could create another one....even more intense than that one. so I worked at it again. Nothing like a lazy day with no one home. This time I pinched my nipples. Damn I needed another hand!! But its so amazing how there is a direct line from my nipples to my clit. How squeezing and twisting my nipples gives me sensations in my walls. The human body is truly amazing. Well this time took a little more work and a little more fantasizing. Fantasizing of the dark side a little. Fantasizing about a man standing there with a huge cock waiting to thrust me...mmmm....he had no definite face today. An escape from reality.....a mystery man.

I could feel my whole body tightening....and the orgasm totally shook my world. Mmmmm...sometimes you just don't need a man!!

Off to a bath....yummy. Relax and escape. I haven't escaped to my bath in sooo long. aahh!! Some bubbles, a glass of wine, some great music and a good book....my escape. If only I had a man to play with me in there...life would be perfect!! Sweet Wet Dreams!!

Good Friends Until We Stop Screwing!

In my life, there is only one person that I have left on bad terms. That's it. I have always had an amicable closure with all my boyfriends (except for the guy I was going to marry before my husband--he turned out to be a pedophile and worse, he was molesting his own daughters!!) I may have drifted from some friendships from my childhood--but I never left on a bad note.

Actually, I have friends for years. My closest childhood friend since I am 7. I will still speak occasionally to other childhood friends, past boyfriends etc. My point?? If I like someone, its usually for life. HOWEVER.....

with this affair thing--its not like that. There is no respect, there is no common courtesy--its a ME game.

"We owe each other nothing" those were Mr.Governments words of anger towards me at the end. Your right, I answered..we owe each other nothing...but we should just demonstrate common courtesy towards each other".

His final words-- "I never meant to be mean to you nor would I ever hurt you".
My final words- "Is this good by?" He did not answer. That was his final words.

Talking to Mr. Prize about it, I was disgusted how I had felt like I needed ammunition. I had felt great that I knew where he now lived. Reality is, it doesn't matter where he lives. I would never do anything to him or jeopardize either one of our families. I guess I didn't realize it but I was feeling vulnerable..feeling he had one up on me. And then when I found out where he lives, to realize that he had seen me. I totally deflated. There was no equal ground with this man. Somehow he always had the upper hand.

You all probably have guessed by now. I drove by his house today. I needed to see how close he was for sure, not just on mapquest. I could not believe how he could almost see me sitting on that bench from his window. As I was sitting at the park, another car pulled up. A woman got out of her car and was standing by the water with me a few feet away. "I'm so nervous, I can't wait to see him. Remember, I'm with you, we are having lunch. " And then a guy pulls up. She jumps in his car, they look around and savagely attack each other. Aaahh!! A secret lover rendezvous. Is that what I have looked like in the past? Is it that obvious to others around or do I just know the signs (and the call she made helped).

I am really sad tonight. I think its a combination of things. Not seeing Mr. Prize this week and not knowing when we will be able to hook up. Not for a lack of wanting but real life seems to be working against us.

And all this shit with Mr. Government. There was something that really hit me hard and I was so surprised. I've mentioned it before how I love the water. I love speed boats and just jumping in one and traveling to lunch miles away. In fact, my first ex fiance, had two boats and I used to joke that I thought leaving the boats and our house on the water behind was just as hard as our breakup. When I was looking for a house, we chose a bigger house off the water than one close and on it. I decided to sacrifice my dream of being on the water for a larger home.

So when I drove up to Mr. Governments house....my heart sank. Docked in his backyard was a huge boat, a speed boat with a sleeper cabin. He loved the water and much as I did. He knew how I loved the water but never wanted me to know that he lived on it. Our last meeting, we had spoken about boating (I had just been on a friends boat). I went on and on how much I loved the water, the breeze rushing through your hair as you just cruised. He just held me and asked questions to get me to talk more about my love for the water. He knew the story about my ex and how we lived on the water. How his parents were going to give us the house as a wedding present and they were moving to Florida. Interesting. I can't help but think he loved and enjoyed every secret that he kept from me. I don't get it.

I have to learn this is a game. A sex game. There are no true connections, they last only as long as you fuck. Kind of sad. I would have liked to be friends with my past lovers. We enjoyed each other, we made each other feel good, what's wrong with keeping in touch once in awhile as friends to say hi? I guess I have to learn the rules. And my horoscope for today.

"There is no way to change the past. you need to learn how to live with it". I guess that says it all huh? Crazy friend and I are going to see a psychic the middle of October. She had seen her before and the woman was right on. Scarily, right on. I am nervous to go...can you imagine what she will say about me?!?!

And on a possible brighter side of things...the hubby may have found a job. Not the job he wanted (or the pay you would think after so many damn months of looking) but something is better than nothing. When he gets the official call, then I will be a little happier. It might relieve some of the stress around here...which has gotten to almost unbearable levels. I think the man has really lost his marbles. His family called me (which they never do) to see if my perspective on life was normal. His has gotten quite warped. I assured them that I was normal--looking after my kids and taking care of the essentials in life. I warned them--if he didn't shape up in two months, he was out. His sister remarked--I don't know how you are staying with him. I don't even know my brother anymore. A sad remark but so true. Who is this man that I lay next to night after night? He's not the man I married. We've drifted so far apart. I don't think we will ever find our way back. But I do hope we can find some common ground--just to make it bearable.

And now the scary part. Originally, I joked that until he found a job there was no sex. So you can see how long it has been since I have slept with him. Will he expect sex next week?

Sorry for the downer post. It's actually been awhile since I felt so sad without having a real good reason. Here's to a better day tomorrow!!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous - Part 3

Mr. Prize has had many affairs. I guess when you are experimenting with orgies the numbers can rack up pretty fast. Our life expectancy would be about December 18th at the rate he has gone. Now there are ups and downs to that. The down--he has had many affairs (I know I have repeated myself--its not a typo). I found myself different with him. I was the student, he was the teacher. Where in my situations before--we were either on equal ground or I was the aggressive one. Here I was the follower and he was the leader.

I had nothing to teach him. I'm sure he has experienced it all before. So, I allowed him to take the leading role. Something unique for me, but enjoyable none the less.

He took my hand a led me off the bed. We were now standing on kissing. Slowly he lowered me to my knees and he pushed my head to his cock. Quite the submissive role. He was in charge and I was following his lead. He thrusted his cock deeper and deeper into my mouth as he stood and I knelt. His hand held my head steady to get the right angle and right penetration. It was quite the submissive role, I could feel my vulnerability. Yet, I did enjoy it. So nice for someone to be in control for a change. Aah!! I had always thought I would enjoy being in a submissive position and yes..I did.

We returned to the bed and it was my turn now. Yes, my favorite position...from behind! He angled me perfectly and deeply went inside of me. I could feel him hitting just the right spot for my body to react. It was nice, it was intense...it was my favorite thing in the world!! Thrusting faster and faster, deeper and deeper....and he started to spank me. Not hard, but just enough to make me feel the sensation. It was hot. I haven't been spanked in many a years.

He slowly pulled me toward the end of the bed. He was standing and I was in a perfect position. He was toying with my ass. And then he inserted....relax, was all I could remember saying in my head..and so I did. The sensation of him in my ass was amazing. It was like enhanced sex..not painful like I had imagined, in fact, it was quite erotic. To my surprise, he went in with no problem and except for the increased in the orgasm, I was kind of surprised at how it felt so great. So much so that I kept asking him if he had been in my ass.

Well I am sure, I love anal sex! From that angle it didn't hurt but with each thrust I could feel myself increasing in desire. Yes, i can see anal sex is now on my list of things to do on a regular basis.

He went back to fucking me from behind on the bed and we both orgasmed at the same time. It was amazing. We hung out, we talked, we had a good time. What a strange feeling to be so close to a stranger. Have such a connection with a stranger.

Will we have a rendezvous again?? Actually I don't know. The distance is tough but reality is...I don't think I am enough for him. Here is a man who has experienced so much and so many woman in life. It was a phenomenal, phenomenal experience which I wouldn't trade for anything AND I enjoy talking with him. He mentally stimulates me as well. But I am looking for someone who is into me. Someone who wants a one to one affair that we both can enjoy each other. Mr. Prize loves sex, he loves woman and he loves experimenting.

So who knows.....time will tell. But if it doesn't work out, hey, I accomplished a couple of things on my Wish List all in one night!!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous Part 2

As I climaxed, I noticed Mr. Prize was watching me....enjoying the look on my face of total fulfillment. Enjoying watching my body contract...he was getting a thrill out of giving me such a thrill.

Now as a pleaser, it was strange to just lie there and allow someone to do all the work. Gotta tell you, it was a great feeling. Two orgasms back to back. One from him eating me out and the other from his fingers inside of me and in my ass. I decided, I was going to let him be in charge. Now he was the Pro here, I was just going to allow him to take my body to places its never been.

However, I needed to give a little. So I got up and knelt in front of him. Both of us on our knees, kissing intensely and then I worked my way down his body. It was my turn to please him now.
Slowly I licked the tip of his cock...yum. I wanted more so I took the whole thing in my mouth. Starting to swell, I decided to push him on the bed. Sucking his cock with idetermination to make that baby hard and stiff....using my hand to fondle his balls and the other to give the small part of his cock that didn't fit into my mouth a hand job. He loved it.

I love when a man moans (when it is truly a real moan). I love when a man lets you know what he likes. nothing is more pleasurable to a pleaser. I looked up to watch him watching me. A sweet smile and caring in those deep eyes. I felt like a little girl, and he was my teacher. Making him nice and hard, I worked my way back up his body "I want you inside of me" I whispered in his ear. He was more than happy to fulfill my request.

The condom is on and he is ready for entry. Yum!! this man knows how to pump and reach that special G spot inside. I could feel my body start to reach an orgasmic state. This man knew how to get me to the point of no return. Wanting to cum at the same time, I held out until he was ready....thrusting faster and faster...I could see in his face that he was ready...and we both came at the same time. Both of us letting out a cry...Yum. Exhausted we collapsed.

Now what is nice about having someone you can relate to is that now we just laid there and talked. Talked about what just happened (feeling comfortable enough to have an open and candid conversation). Talked about the day..he just held me in his arms as I played gently with his cock....kind of just a loving touch.

A little break...a little talk and now it was time for the next session....

Wild Yam Roots will turn me on? Let's Try them!

What a bizarre and interesting day!

A friend of mine had told me that she had tried this lotion that she was using for her skin. She noticed during this time that she started feeling really good about things (never connecting the two). Well, after days of using this cream...her ex (who repulsed her) was starting to look good. She felt like she was really flying high....Life was great.

Turns out this cream is Wild Yam Roots. Some believe this balances you!! Great for women...so she had everyone in her office try it. All the women felt great. Today, I was chatting with a friend. She's been having some real anxiety driven times lately. Actually the guy she was having an affair with ended up telling his wife he wanted a divorce. The opportunity was there and he felt he had to take it. she's a wreck.

So, I went to the store today and purchased the cream for us both to share. We decided to be guinea pigs...do our own experiment and see if this cream "balanced us", "made us horny", "made us feel like a million bucks". Okay, she's a nut like me. I go over there with the cream and we are in her back yard. Mind you.....three neighbors can see right into her back yard. They have company. We start reading the directions. the cream must go on your errogeneous, soft points of your body. Inner thighs, breasts, upper arms and stomach. Well, we just start applying....we pulled our pants down to get to our inner thighs, we lifted our shirts to get to our breasts...arms were easy and stomach with our shirts up....a breeze....

The two of us are howling with laughter like little kids. you know one of us is going to get a rash or something....nice places for an allergic reaction!! We are dangerous together...the two of us have a wild side. We love to just have fun. Both very impulsive...she is absolutely stunning. At a party, a good friend of mine (guy--who I have been friends with since I am 15) says...that's Ms. ____. Wow...heard a lot about her. Found out she has been the discussion at many local poker games....they all want to poke her!!

I rush home to be with my family. Parents are over and dad just got a computer. Mom is saying how he is watching all these sexy woman on it (MTV videos that she thinks is porno). You know you have to watch your husband my dear. They say they like to watch porno on it . do you watch him? I saw a show where people talk about sex too. MY husband is sitting there, I am way too busy trying to find a job for that (defensively). Me, I am so shocked by this conversation...I don't know how to keep a straight face. Oh my! If they just knew.....I just sip my coffee, trying to look soooo innocent. Can't let my face say anything. Poker FACE!

GREAT!! Visions of Mr. Prize and our recent conversation while I looked at his cock are coming into my head. No smirk, no smile...I'm going to burst I think. A flood of thoughts about my blog, their own daughter's escapades, my naked tit on the internet for all to see (which someone pointed out makes a very nice screen saver....lol) That was funny.

"I like to play word games on the computer" I say soooo innocently. And off I change the subject about word games..Whew!! subject changed.

Gotta tell ya. Mr. Prize and I have been talking non stop. The anticipation, the connection is building and it is so damn intense. In conclusion, we are going to have dinner and then head to a hotel. No need to think any differently or pretend...we want each other. IT's on a different level than most of the frogs --(exciting yet scary)...I guess I can relate him closest to Soulmate Chris. Because we talk about everything, are so much alike, have so much in common....our mental stimulation is like mental masturbation...it feels soooo good. You know I like smart men...I love to connect on a mental level (as well as a physical level).

And he found my blog. He had podcasted in the past...I mentioned it so it wasn't too hard to find me then. I kind of feel very vulnerable now. first, it hasn't worked out very well with guys reading my blogs and then us trying to have something. Second, I felt like he got to see so much of me....okay, all of me. Know things about me that most people do not know about me. Learned deep inside feelings that...I probably wouldn't share or wouldn't have shared for awhile.

Feel like I handed over my play book to the other team. All the scrimmages laid out...all the details of every play for the other team to see. Ouch!! Well, I told him he can read until.....we hook up. Meeting date is scheduled for Tuesday night if neither of our work gets in the way. Then he needs to forget my blog. I have to remain true to my blog. I feel uncomfortable with him knowing every move and thought after that. He said he will respect that. I will send him posts if I want him to see them... this should be interesting.//lol

Well the whirlwind is here again...that feeling of the anticipation of a meeting, the nervousness in my stomach...I am truly nervous. Why? He has done his experimenting already. I would put him in professional status.. ME? Well we all know I want to experiment but I am at beginner level here. Concerns? Yeah I do have them. I may not be enough for him. He's used to wild sex, orgies, S&M, he's very sexually open. And me?

Let's compare it to..... hmmmm....sky diving. I read all the books that are out there. I learn all the things you can do, all the fun jumps, the correct form etc... And it is totally different when you are there and actually jumping. He actually jumps out of the planes. Quite a difference. I can make a million analogies... like reading about doing heart surgery and then actually doing it. Okay I can go on and on...but you've gotten the pix.

so yes, Tuesday is our big meeting. What happens if we aren't into each other? What happens if that chemistry isn't there when we are face to face? We could be at a loss of words? Or maybe he thinks I look totally different than the pix I sent? time will only tell.......

Which Man Do I Choose?

I have officially over extended myself! Aah! the internet is a dangerous thing. with all the stress of the party and my anger towards my husband...and my loneliness..I went back to Ashley Madison.

Well it may be the time of year but it seems that there is a lot of new meat on Ashley. And some hot looking meat at that. Well I told you about the Boy Toy Construction Guy. Actually things are good. His texting was getting to me. Instead of calling or IMing, he would text. I guess bad memories from Mr. Government. And the texts were getting less and less flirty and more and more explicit. You know how I start to feel about being a whore.

Well, I stopped answering and now we're back on track. He called and we talked. And now he called three times each day (to make up for the texting). He's really cute. We have a really good connection. Funny, attentive, sweet....still potential there. In fact, we are meeting on Thursday! Lots of phone sex last week and lots of pix going back and forth on the cell phone. He definitely is getting me wet.

I am nervous. I feel like a little girl going on her first date. He's so into anal. He's so into taking his tongue and licking my hole. It's been a long time since someone has done that. A long time.

I blew off the second Podiatrist I told you about except that he keeps coming back. I told him he was so hung up with looks, he wasn't for me. He doesn't care he says BUT I do!! That's not going to go anywhere I don't feel the connection.

And now the REAL surprise. By accident, I left my Instant messaging on Ashley. A message came through and well I had been feeling a little lonely so I answered. A guy from another state so I took it as a grain of salt. They must do something about the water in that state. I am always attracted to men from there. Six Pack, Navigator, Soulmate Chris.....all hot and from that state.

Anyway, he was really interesting. A Pullitser (spelled wrong on purpose so I don't show up in a search) Prize Winner. Very impressive. You know how I get turned on by smart men. He is so knowledgable on so many different things....I really enjoyed talking to him. He's handsome and very funny, attentive and nice. A problem? He is soooo experienced. Probably had 30 affairs throughout his marriage. He has done everything (sex clubs, orgies, S&M, bondage, anal..okay you get the pix). The man is very much experienced and has experimented with sex.

We have been talking non stop these past few days. We have so much to talk about. He wants to show me and help me experiment. Like a professor I guess. He wants for me to experience all that I want to.....at my pace. Open the door to all those things on my list of sexual things I want to do. The man is pretty amazing.

So now what?? We were going to meet tonight actually. But I got sick. I never get sick and today I have a bad cold. It sucks!! So I canceled then I made these plans with Mr. Construction Guy and well....Mr. Prize wants to meet tomorrow night. Hmmm....back to back sex with two new guys...I can't do it. the thought is kind of a turn on though. I haven't gotten laid in sooo long. the thought of two different cocks in one week is quite appealing!

So you see, you leave me alone for a few days and I get into trouble. Masturbating with two guys on the computer, phone sex, pix back and forth....you can't leave me alone. I've been in Wet OverDrive. We are talking.....super wet for days now. I admit it, I've masturbated twice today just to relieve the tension. Once Mr. Prize directed me....now that was real yummy.

So two men with huge THICK cocks and I don't know which direction to take. I'm usually much better at spacing them...one in and one out. Never where two were so at the beginning like this. Sigh!! Part of me says go with the flow...part of me says choose one now. Most of me says I need a real hard cock soon or I will explode!