It's hard for me to imagine at this point, what it would be like without my life the past few years. When you live something and you are going through day to day shit, you don't realize that your life is probably not the norm. Or is it?!
My neighbors husband just passed away a few months ago. I went over last night for coffee with a couple of neighbors. Woman chatting! It was then that I realized that my life is so wild compared to all of them. Oh, each woman admitted to an affair. But as I was sitting there, the question was more, so which affair do I admit to? It was also at that point that i realized that even though these woman had affairs, they were truly vanilla. They didn't use the affair as an experimental ground. The didn't have the wild stories of toys and handcuffs and millions of positions. At the quietest point of my life (now!) I am still having sexual encounters and seeing more men than they did in a lifetime.
One of the girl's is online as well. She is attractive but I see her as very prudish I guess. Is it my sexual appetite that draws men to me? I think a lot has to do with my blog actually. I have learned how to be open, express my wants and desires and not give a crap about what is prim and proper I guess. This one woman says she has a date or two a month. That she has seen one man a few times but she isn't flooded with dates. Not being conceited or a pompous ass, I truly didn't understand that. My reality is, I could have 5 dates in a week if I wanted to with good looking guys. At this point, I am blowing them off because i am too busy. She was shocked by this and I was shocked by her experience (or lack of). Ironically, I still don't know what I want. I yearn for that closeness to someone yet fear that I will find someone really special.
Gotta update ya on Mr. Porsche.....the sex has been fabulous. Even he has been saying that we have hit new levels. And I have a date this weekend with a very built, hot fireman. I really hope he is as good looking as his pictures. there is a blue collar smartness to him yet you can see he is rough around the edges. He's funny, he's nice and we have good conversation but as usual, I feel there is something missing. However, he is worth the meeting because what is missing may just be my white collar stick up my ass or it may be that he is a comedian a lot of the time but he's a little funny. I love the quick witted, smart humor more than a one man comedy routine. I guess Friday night, I will find out.
5 comments:
I'm always very heartened to hear that a woman like yourself realizes that she has desires, needs and then the out-and-out resolve to make her sexuality much better for herself.
I've been experiencing this myself, in the younger woman I've been seeing.
Yes, it is your blog, your openness, that is allowing you to feel this way, and then to act on it. But too, the blog simply empowers you to write; you have it in you to react to it, the blog didn't create that.
I'm also very pleased that Mr. Porsche is turning out so well with you.
good luck, and keep cumming.
I'm always wary of taking people's admissions at face value. The old, old saying that when talking about them, men multiply their conquests by three, and women divide theirs by two is probably still true (except here in the confessional blogosphere, where, hopefully, we all tell the truth!)
And you're not alone when you say "I still don't know what I want. I yearn for that closeness to someone yet fear that I will find someone special." Oh yes, what happens then?
Kevin beat me to it. I don't doubt your original point of the other ladies being more prudish, but if my wife is any indication, she always portrays herself as this wholesome, faithful, vanilla type to her friends, yet I know the truth.
She actually had the nerve to talk bad about a lady in our neighborhood who makes no qualms about the fact that she is fucking one of our maintenance men, in spite of the fact that she is "happily" married. Of course, then we go to bed, fucking to stories of my wife banging the delivery guy at the store she used to manage.
Ah, women!
Next time over coffee, you ought to say something like, "Oh, c'mon Gladys; are you telling us you have never been on all fours with one guy giving you 8 inches in the ass and another guy tickling your tonsils with his uncut cock down your throat while your husband jacks-off in the corner?"
That might get them to open up. ;)
Cheri,
The point is it is NOT the amount of dates that counts it is the happiness afterwards. And do you realize that the only time you sound happy on your blog is after Mr. Porsche? You never even say what happen to the other frogs you have been chatting with. It is rather hard to keep up. LOL.
everyone has different level of conquest i think...
man generally prefers a woman who can tell them what they want, and do what they want, maybe that's why generally prudish ladies had little luck..
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