My Best friend asked me if I was blogging all of my dates. I actually haven't been. 1/2 of them are one dates and then its over, there is no sex involved, maybe a kiss or sometimes a handjob but nothing hot and wild. OMG, she said. These dates are hysterical, you have to blog them, your readers will love them. I don't think they will care that you aren't having sex with them...they will just enjoy these insane meetings. And so, I am going to try to start blogging them.
Mental note to self---Mr. Perfection, My hot day with Mr. Porsche, Mr. BBM, Mr. Fate
The truth is, I am juggling way to many newbies. I mean, I have guys on my yahoo IM that I have no idea who they are. And when I decide (like I did on Sunday) that I really should take sometime to myself....it seems a whole new pond of frogs show up at my lilypad!
I met Mr. BBM. Sadly, his picture was probably 15 years old. I was sooo disappointed but I liked him as a person so I decided to see where it would go. It went until Sunday! LOL He turned out to be exactly like my ex! Super charged, like a whirlwind. Our first date was nice, we had dinner, we laughed and we sucked face in the car. I touched his pants, he got so excited, he came all over the place. When I went home, I hesitated. I had no physical attraction to him. From a hot stud to a bent over old man. I think that more than anything is a total turnoff. He looks like one of those disney movies of the grinch or one of those mean guys.
well he called me about 20 times on Saturday and it was his birthday. Even though I was feeling sick, I decided to meet him later that night for coffee. He was eating in this restaurant with friends where the wait to get a reservation is 3 months. A super fancy, great place but he ended up leaving early because he wanted to be with me. My plan was to go to this local bagel store. He likes chocolate chip muffins and I wanted to put a candle in it. Grabbed my candle and ran out. I figured we would sit and talk and hopefully I would be into him. We had two fights already (one about me being online after we had met, he went crazy and another about me not being able to meet him the night before).
When I pulled up, he had already gotten the muffin, the coffee and wanted to sit in the car. Well, I know why...he was all over me. I have a hard time saying no, so I went with it. He took his cock out and said...Please spit on it.....spit on my cock. Hmmm..now I am not a prude and I have spit on cocks before but it has been while I was giving a blowjob. That wasn't happening. Finally, I spit on his cock.
After leaving, I decided it wasn't going to last. I had to think of something. I just wanted to be friends. Part of my reason for not being into him was also because of his selection of words. Ever other word out of his mouth was retard and dork. Well honestly, I have a thing with the word retard which I had said years ago if you have read my blog. So each time he said it, I would cringe.
On Sunday, he asked me to send him back his penis pictures that he had sent to me. He lost them in his phone. I had erased them. His penis is truly not one of the better ones I have encountered. Not really long, not really thick...kind of just there. And the pix was kind of like those balloons you blow up for kids parties to make the balloon animals (but a little one) where it curves up....let's just say, I wasn't impressed. But then I realized, why would he want them back unless that he was such a narcistic person or he wanted to send it to another girl. Either way, a weird request.
Finally, Monday morning I sent him a BBM. I think we are looking for different things, I don't see this working. He responded....I am saddened by this, deeply saddened...I really, really like you. Then he was online looking to see if I was online a couple of times last night.
So I truly feel bad but honestly, the man was so not for me in personality, looks or manners. NEXT Frog.....Saturday I actually had two dates. Mr. Perfection was lunch.....
4 comments:
You are right, this is an insane Post, oddly funny and tragic however. not sure for whom though.
You *are* seeing way too many noobies.
Awww the problem being our age and looking good. We take care of ourselves and make the effort. The men however do look sooo old, don't care about good grooming and figure that is ok because they USE TO look better, per picture. AND they are so selfish in that they want what they want and don't really care about us as real people. Watch out for them.
Very true Rosie...when my wife and I used to swing, it was tough finding a couple where the man had kept himself in decent shape, whereas the woman was always well put together. Very disappointing, since I always paid attention to my appearance, and since my wife wouldn't "take one for the team", we rejected 90% of the couples that contacted us.
While it's true that SOME men do NOT take care of themselves, it's ALSO true that not EVERY woman keeps up with their "youthful glow" program! I have kissed womeen who have not visited the dentist in several years, some who did not shower before meeting, some who wore WAYYY to much perfume, some who have lit a carette while we were sitting in a "no smoking" area of a restaurant, some who have said to the waitress, "F*ck You, Dearie" when asked to NOT smoke in the "No Smoking" area. I made an excuse about the wallet in the car, and I left. But, before that, I placed a $50.00 to cover two drinks and my embarassment. I have no idea how she got home. Nor do I care.
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