Aah!! A sunny day with a beautiful breeze can certainly change a girl's mood. And, a good nights sleep! Marathoner, you are so right. The negativity takes some much energy and can truly drain a person. I was feeling so vulnerable, so manipulated AND so sorry for myself!! Ever have a night like that?
Looking around I was so sad. So sad how much wasn't right. So sad how much I just felt hopeless about and couldn't fix. An extremely hard week of work where I felt I wasn't the star this week. I hate when my life seems to run me and I don't run my life. Dysfunction seemed to be everywhere.
A man from one of the online sites that has been heavily pursuing me for a few months, caught me online last night. He's so funny. He's so complimentary and can make a girl feel good. Body wise--he has an amazing body. He's funny, he's sweet and a really nice guy. A romantic connection though is not in the cards. I just don't feel it. Flattered that he likes me, flattered that he heavily pursues me BUT he is great friend material.
Last night, we IM'd for awhile. Then at 1AM he called me... I felt bad because the conversation was certainly not what he probably had wanted from me. I got him to talk about the women he's met on the site. And we just chatted about that for an hour. At the end, he said. You are an amazing lady. Funny, smart, sexy and a personality that shines - and you've let me down in such a lady like way that I like you even more.(I did turn it to a total friendship connection).
It was then I realized that I am content right now. A lot going on with family, work and getting my life on track. I am enjoying my connection with Mr. Prize a lot. It's definitely not as physical as we would like (we would probably be screwing a couple of times a week if he lived closer!) but he stimulates me in other ways as well. It's good when a guy can make you horny on the phone. It's good when a guy calls you honey and it makes you smile inside. It definitely feels good.
Today, and I think for a little bit (I'm not into the pursuit). I'm not into looking for something more--I'm happy and content right now. Mr. Prize is very funny. He claims it doesn't bother him the way I am. I (as you know) would drive myself crazy. A FLIRT!! Such a flirt. I love men!! I love flirting with men. I love looking at the profiles, their pix....I can't help it. I am a curious one.
This week I got an email from a true boy toy! 30 years old. A body to die for and such a great face! I was flattered by his sweet words. Not sure if he reads me or listens to my podcast but he was adorable. But 30?? I felt so old. 30-40 was such an eternity in my life. All my major life revelations occurred during that time. I felt like I aged 100 years during that time. Do you have a time in your life that you felt like that? I guess we all do.
So that's it....I'm BACK!! The negativity seemed to be almost gone when I woke up today. Come on!! We all need a little depressing drama in our life once in awhile. And MArathoner, Thanks Baby!! You are 100% right...the negativity takes so much energy and I hate when I am like that.
So here's to a great day!!!! Woo Hoo!!! Gonna go put on a little apron, with my feather duster and dust the house. In my high heels of course!! no underwear!! A little french maid outfit!! Actually if I had a hubby I loved---damn I would love to do shit like that. How hot is that? My breasts sticking out...my nipples exposed for sucking.....and playing the little french maid. Oh well!
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