It's Official

Ironically, that is the statement that was on my engagement announcement cards and that is the statement I am saying to officially announce my legal separation. Oh it wasn't easy, he was trying to back out. He almost didn't show up at the mediator. He wanted to read it again, she said no problem we will go page by page and then he said....no forget it, I am probably getting screwed and he signed it. And the house was signed over to me as well. And now....I have tons of bills to pay! lol

But I have to say...I sat there and said now what? Now I can talk on the phone without hiding (although I probably will because of my son). Talking to Mr. porsche today, Mr. Astronaut and to My Friend's setup...I still felt like I had to hide. It's a weird feeling to say...ok, I won't have to hide in a few days. Wild!

I'm nervous, I;m petrified but mostly I am relieved and excited. I am excited to start a new life. I am excited to begin again. I am excited to be independent and free. To me those are the best things that I received. Its an internal freedom but it is a new sense of being. I feel like a ton of bricks have been taken off my shoulders. I feel like a little girl who was stuck in a dark cell and was released, rubbing my eyes trying to adjust to the daylight.

Mr. Porsche called me after he thought about it, teasing me "You know divorce woman are super horny. They can't get enough sex." My response "Wow, do you think I can get more horny than I was before? Can you handle me?" He started laughing...."honestly baby, I don't think I could. When you suck and we fuck, I am exhausted for hours later!" I am glad he is okay with this.

Actually what I am glad to see is that none of the frogs in the pond seemed to be concerned about my new status. It's because they know me. As Mr. Porsche said, I am an independent woman. I did it for me. I respect the frogs, I respect their married life. And the one thing I am very thankful about...is that I had kept it into perspective that it was an affair. I went on Ashley Madison looking for a man to be a friend with fringe benefits. And I am extremely lucky that I did not fall madly in love with a frog.