Looking Back

It's so rare that I look back and read my blog. Only when I want to remember a certain date something happened. Ironically my affairs can't make it to the 2 year mark. Mr. Porsche and I are getting there but we are not like we were. So I did what I rarely do--read excerpts of my blog. Wow, two years ago, I had so much passion, desire and yearning. Sadly, its been dulled. I couldn't stand Mr. Porsche because honestly...I lusted for Mystery Man so much. I remember sitting at a table at lunch with Mr. P telling him I didn't want another man, I was happy, content and totally satisfied. Yeah, it was a ticket for a challenge to him. And the opportunity had reared its head when MM disappeared again and Mr. P was there to pick up the pieces.

I read some of my old posts that year about MM and our ups and downs. Funny that the post was about me talking to him about my divorce. Numerous emails and he will not return one. Who knows if he knows about my divorce. As you know, he can pop in here anytime he wants. Pretty shitty MM if you are reading this.....not to respond to one email.

So the papers are ready to be signed. And now, is where the confrontation is going to begin. I am going to go upstairs in a minute and let him know we have to go to sign the papers. No more reviewing the same damn words....now is the time to sign. Hopefully he will just go over there and sign. But I have a feeling that isn't going to happen so I took a Xanax this morning to keep my rage calm. The plan of attack is as follows.
1-Being nice. I am going to explain that he has his apartment, that this is what we wrote up, hasn't changed and what is he waiting for. You can't move out without legalizing everything. Calm voice.
2-If it doesn't work-harder toned. We did the agreement, paid the money, you wanted the divorce, I am going to clear up your credit..you get to start all over. What is the problem.
3-Anger-this is ridiculous. What is your problem....and then its going into threatening tone.
4-I already paid a divorce attorney because you wanted a divorce. the papers are there to serve you with. If you want, they can show up at your work and serve you, you can turn this into a full divorce blow out but do know that you have to pay me back for every cent I have laid out. Abandonment once you work out the door and I will charge you with Aggressive Abusive Contact.

I don't want to go to #4. That is really not my style. I want to be friends with him but he is making this damn difficult.

Last night, I won $75 on a lotto ticket. A scratch off...I never win on those. Maybe my luck is changing. Woo Hoo

wish me luck!!!! And thanks for all your support. To a new life. To a new beginning. To just having fun!!!!! Wooo Hoooooooooooooooo