A Rough Day....A Part of Me Gone

One of my closest friends is moving away next week. You know the couple you have been friends with since before you got married. You lived close and vacationed every vacation together. We are talking the Islands before the kids and evolving to DisneyWorld, Hershey etc. until about a year ago. 20 years of friendship.

I went to her house today and everything is in total chaos...she doesn't even seem concerned. Her husband doesn't want to move...its a weird thing....we don't make enough, he refuses to give me money towards the bills, I'm tired of working..We're moving. POOF! Well today when I went there....the shit hit the fan. I am close with both of them...a fight broke out as I sat in the comfy chair I always sat in when I went there (And she's giving me by the way).

Anyway they fight vicious...and quite frankly if he wasn't having an affair he will be. He's going to commute back and forth 4 days here and 3 days in there new place (which is 6 states away). He started screaming about this is her fault...I can't believe we are leaving...it was bad. We had discussed it and I told her before make sure he's on board or the marriage is really going to be strained. She doesn't seem to care.

Now how many couples do you feel comfortable getting into the middle of the argument? I chime in.... "Guys, come on....you got to do this together." His response..'I don't want to do this, we will talk". He storms out.

I get up and go to the bathroom....all of a sudden, this stupid chandelier that we picked out together on what of our garage sale bargains is sitting in her bathroom. I look around and there are millions of memories of things we bought together, things we re-vived from the dead.....I start crying hysterical. I guess its just another part of my happy life being pulled away. Another part that kept me here is now leaving.

So why am I still here? I was talking with our friends. This guy is actually my husband's best friend. For the first time he said to me, honey--he's just spiraling don't get caught in the spiral. I don't understand what happened to him:.

So why am I still here? I begin to think about moving. I think about picking up and just going. I am reading an amazing book right now..."A Year By The Sea" A must read for any woman who has lost herself in her marriage and kids. More and more the thought of just picking up becomes a serious option...

It has been a tough week for me.....working nonstop....and Mystery Man seems to be fading a little. DigEm has found a local girlfriend so......who knows what is going to happen with that. I wrote him a note last night....I told him to go, enjoy her, that we will keep in touch and after the newness wears off in three weeks, if he still wants our friendship---he knows where I am. The old if you love something set it free concept! I am tired of feeling like he only wants me around until something better comes along. all of a sudden I have an urge to shoot a damn bird!! lol

Well there are other frogs around.....but I don't have the energy right now. I am tired. I am getting depressed. Funny how being content can disappear so quickly. I have blown them all of and basically I haven't even been on Ashley....