Ouch! I was a slime

I didn't mean to be. I thought he wasn't that into me. It made me feel like I would just be a booty call. Asking me to come over and hang out the last minute. Asking me to meet him the last minute. The cocky developer sent me a vicious email today. AND...he was right. I felt like crap because I hate to be treated that way but honestly I have gotten callous to men lately. He said he's been trying to get me to call him back, make plans and I have been busy. That he wanted me to come over and hang out and go to dinner. I thought he was looking for a quick booty call, that he was a player.

So he told me today he can't do this with me anymore. That I am totally not into him that I do not call back and that I am selfish. WOW! These are things I have never been called and what hurt more than anything is that is exactly what I blamed other for in my life. So the tables turned. And I so don't like being known like that. I have a problem that he left his family, met a woman 25 years younger and had a baby with her and didn't marry her. He has two families now. I guess I didn't see me and my family fitting in. But yet I do feel bad.

I told him. Let's start again. I am very attracted to him but this image of the playa keeps popping in my head. Can he not be a playa? I guess it doesn't matter, he told me he can't. That I am too wrapped up in my own life to want to get to know him. He needs to move on from me. Personally, he was hanging with his friend and I think he got pissed because I blew off meeting him at his friends' business.

Well I do feel bad. I know what it feels like to be left hanging. So I feel like a bit of a slime. I guess the only thing I can do is be more careful next time and be more attentive. I usually am over attentive. Going to sleep...Sweet dreams....
xoxo