Romance Deprived

Wow! Tough crowd!! I forgot to go back and post my post last night. Wanted to add pix but didn't get a chance. I posted, I posted!! I liked the Pretenders romance...you should hear the messages he left me on the cheri line... 1-206-20-CHERI LOL

Today was crap!! Work sucked. Whatever could go wrong, did go wrong. I can't tell you how upset I was to see all that I try to accomplish sabatoged by a few people. Thankfully though my boss is behind me. "Do whatever you gotta do and I am behind you 100%". That felt good.

So, I got fucking stood up today. Well, if I posted earlier I would have said that. Don't know how I want to handle this one. Mr. Fireman and I were suppose to meet for coffee today. I replied to his note yesterday...didn't hear from him. I got up this morning, no email. Hmmmm...but I wasn't going to write. I never met him and I didn't say anything so if he has some inner issues....it's not my fault. However, I feel like a loser today. The man did check Ashley to see if he had mail so he could have easily emailed or called this morning (he doesn't know it shows when he has been on so I was able to tell). I walked around feeling so stupid. I was dumped and I never met him. What the Fuck? Okay, I came home and there was an email. Some emergency at his house due to the bad weather. Okay, but he could have written in the morning when he checked Ashley or called me. Playing games? I'm not going till answer until tomorrow and I am going to play it cool. Reality, we've never even met. I don't need a rollercoaster right now.

But I felt very alone today. That emptiness was deep in my chest. Very deep...I havn't felt it in a long time. And on my way to work, I thought about what Marathoner said about romance. And sadly, I can only remember two guys when I was younger who romanced me. Truly romanced me and made me feel so wonderful. That was a long time ago. The hubby, he would sometimes bring me flowers for no reason (he knows how much I love them) and he will still give me an affectionate hug. But there is so much crap there, its hard to feel good about it. I freeze now when he does it and it is usually there to try and iron over when he screwed up (ironically, he did it tonight).

Problem is that I always pick the men that are the macho men. the ones that are cool, suave and not romantic types. I truly think the guys I have always dated and have met lately--I think to them, it is a sign of weakness. Now that is kind of sad. You know the guy I am talking about....that's what I seem to always attract. The players....sigh

So, the truth is....if I had a connection with someone and they showed up with one rose...that would probably speak louder than anything in the world to me. If a man made a picnic lunch or just held me in his arms and stroked my hair.....there would be no place in the world I would rather be. If a man just grabbed my hand and kissed it and just gave me a warm and affectionate hug, I would feel so amazing. Open a door, pull out my seat..okay you know what I mean.

"Romance Deprived" --that is what I am. Sadly, I don't ever think I will find a man that can fill that part of me. So yes, if a man thought to bring me one rose.....it would be like a million dollars to my heart and soul!! I'll be looking for that one man....

Wanna laugh? i just remembered someone else who did give me a rose once. There was a man on the street selling flowers. I was waiting for a friend on the corner. He was looking at me so when he caught my eye, I had smiled. He walked over to me and handed me a rose. "A beautiful woman, a beautiful smile deserves this beautiful rose". I wanted to give him money for it, it was his job. "no, you made me smile just seeing you smile at me. Please I want you to have it". That was so sweet I hope the next rose is from a Mr. Married Prince Charming.

So, you know what guys....when was the last time you brought your lover or wife a rose? Try it!! I bet it will bring a smile to their face and a twinkle to their eye!