Masturbate And The World Becomes Clearer

Did you ever notice if you masturbate....you feel so much more focused after. Masturbation clears my head (I don't know if it does it for anyone else). But for me, those circles on my clit with my two middle fingers manages to relax me. A little fantasizing and I after those pulsations go through my body....I am at peace. Amazing how I didn't start masturbating until 3 years ago and days like today...I did twice.

Today was a rough day. I rarily have full blown anxiety attacks but last night the clock turned 6AM and I was still up. The worries were overcoming my head. The anxiety of life, the walls were caving in. And I wanted Mystery Man sooo badly. Flashbacks of us fucking in the Lord and Taylor fitting room and certain great memories kept floating in and out of my head. WE had amazing times, amazing laughs and close moments. I miss them . Comparing him to Mr. Government, I realize what we had was so much deeper and even fulfilling. Sigh...the difference this time, I am not mad. I am worried about him. Truly worried. The hubby is doing stupid stuff that is going to cause him to lose his job and I have to figure out how to move up my career. Enough to obviously cause me to toss and turn all night..finally I went to the couch with a book and passed out for two hours. Needless to say, the day was a waste today. Working but half asleep and still having anxiety..my chest feels like its going to explode. I worry about moments like this.....am I losing it?

Mr. Porsche called today. Honestly, I wasn't mentioning the credit card thing. But he did...I got your email, he said. Forget it..I said, He said...No, when you put it that way I don't know what I was thinking. Your right, I'm sorry....I mean I trust you with everything...it was ridiculous.
And then I felt better that he saw my point but I wasn't mad anymore. I am like that...a Volcanic explosion and then I forgive someone.

So I hope everyone is doing well out there.......my sex life has been so boring with only one man! I've been debating about Mr. Divorce Attorney. He called today. We talked...he said since he saw me, he can't stop thinking about me. So sweet....its nice to feel wanted.