I truly do not understand men. I don't get how they think. And I am questioning the outward persona that I give. In some ways, I am very complex inside. There are so many different facets to my personality, my wants and my needs. I had always compartmentalized them and now trying to put them all into one life....is not so easy. I am struggling building a total me.
And then there is this thing with men and their impression of me. In the last 24 hours, I have heard so many perceptions of who I am..it makes me wonder how these men are coming to this conclusion. what is it that they are not seeing the total me?
First....there is the men who I let see that sexual side of me. The woman who is forward, says whats on her mind and lets them know I want them. Most men are afraid of this woman and interpet that as someone who wants a commitment or is going to get too attached. Demonstrating to me that they aren't seeing the side of me that likes variety. Of course, when they find out they aren't the only one....they get upset. Hmmm..interesting. you don't want me to get attached yet you are not happy that I am seeing others. What the fuck?!!?
And then there are those that like to experiment more....Mr. Tin Man...I ended it with him last night. We keep hitting that threesome wall. In my mind, I can't commit to that because it depends how I feel about him...the trust issue. Personally I think he is putting the cart before the horse. Ironically, I probably will try a threesome in the future...but I don't want to promise someone. So, I said good by, wished him luck. His theory is that he likes me and knows there is chemistry. He needs to know I would have a threesome. My theory is lets see if we have that chemistry and in the future, we can explore the threesome theory. Oh well.....I was sad about that.
Then there is the Sin man who talked about his deviant behavior. He disappeared and then re-appeared this weekend just to say hello. When I asked him what happened to him...he said that he was giving the wrong impression. That he is not just a white collar guy that he likes kinkiness. So I was trying to find out what he meant. Honestly, he is not that damn kinky. I guess because of my past relationships--there was nothing on the list I hadn't done and then it hit me why I didn't let him see so much that side of me. First reason, I already have that part of me fulfilled right now. Mr. Porsche. I don't need someone else to fulfill that part. I also didn't let on because I got it. I am in a relationship like that so tying me up to the bed and playing with a vibrator....hmmmm......not as kinky as this guy may think. Honestly, I think he is caught up in his own deviant behavior. He thinks I am too vanilla, don't get it...he retreated until he could decide if I could get it. Well, if he only knew. I do get it just too well and I am probably more experienced than he is...lol Another one down.
So yesterday was a day of men coming and going. Personally I am tired of this rollercoaster...is there a man out there that can handle a woman that likes to show sensuality, enjoys playing, enjoys variety and wants to have fun? I am tired of men painting an image of me in their head and it is not exactly true.
I have a funny story about Mr. Security. I blew him away yesteday (no I didn't blow him) but I gotta do a little work..I will post it later today.
6 comments:
I understand the threesome wall, it's too much for me.
First…
Your impressions and conclusions in this first paragraph here are all wrong I think.
Most of the men I know, that are in situations like you and I, want and demand a woman that tell it like it is. If you and I express our sexual desires, and you tell me, show me that's what you want, and I know thats' *all* you want, I'm a very, very happy guy.
I have this right now, and my best male friends want this too; A woman that is outgoing sexually, likes to play, get involved with it, works to help her partner expand these horizons, with true NSA. If you project this, and do it well, your man will come along, and work with you. I'm thinking the guys you are with are not mature enough to understand this. If you are seeing another guy, I don't really care, as long as you are 'on' when you are with me.
Tin Man is way off-base, and is only thinking for himself. Good-bye. I re-affirmed to my lover late last week, that she comes first, figuratively and literally. I know what works best, and we are slowly progressing up the ladder of getting more kinky and experimenting, and the results have been fantastic. I know when *not* to push issues.
You asked "is there a man out there that can handle a woman that likes to show sensuality, enjoys playing, enjoys variety and wants to have fun?"
Yeah, without question, without hesitation, me, and I know at least 2 other guys that want this same thing. That's all.
I'm doing that now, and the past 6 months have been the best times of my life, in and out of bed with her, and I'm way older than you. Here's to the next 6 moths, and beyond.
Oh, and we are both extremely hot and horny for each other right now, for getting together tomorrow night. Hows' that for the anticipation thing?
Stick with Mr. Porsche and ride him out, figuratively and literally.
I don't get men either....lol
All you need to know about men is that we want you to take off your clothes, including your panties, and spread your legs while you just lie there. We'll do the rest.
why bother.. just F them, F them, and F them.
xoxoxo
Ffs
Outstanding blog - went from start to finish on today. Very raw.
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