Mr. Astronaut has been keeping a little distance. His normal banter throughout the day had stopped. He claimed he has a lot going on in his mind. I had a couple of hours today and told him to come over...he couldn't get over. Okay, I am feeling a little distance.
I just want to fuck him. I just want to play. He's not someone I want to get serious with just sexually serious with. Meeting in fun places, last minute, popping in mornings to fuck me before work. However, Once again, a man who thinks he knows it all. Finally I say to him. Okay, what's up? Don't pretend there is nothing. I know you for eight months now and this is a little bullshit lines you are feeding me. Are you not into us anymore?
What do you mean by us? he writes back
"Us? You and me and us fooling around"....and then lighting bolts go off in my head and I am feeling a deja vu again. Another man who is afraid of closeness. Another man who is reading my mind and emotions. Grrrr....and now a rush comes over me. Is this going to be another man who pushes me away everytime HE feels that I am getting too close.
"I have no intention of falling for you. We are just having fun."
"but you will" he answers
Cocky bastard so damn sure I will fall in love with him? "How do you know that you won't fall for me?"
"I won't. I have real control"
Aaaaah...."So if I get close to you...you will run?"
"Definitely" was his reply.
And so I began to laugh to myself. I sure know how to pick them. I sure know how to find every man who is afraid of emotion, closeness, desire. And as you can imagine my head starts to spin.
"You know you are missing out on so much. When I fool around, I jump in with two feet. No expectations of a future just enjoy the high with no walls. that's what makes it so hot. The boundaries and walls are down. Reality is, when its over, it hurts really bad but it hurts whether you give your all or you don't. You just move on. I want the high....I want that high of lust and passion. I am sorry you feel you have to have all those walls."
"I am used to disappointing people. I gotta go. ttyl" he wrote. Wow....here we go. I personally think he is the one who is feeling more and it is scaring him. I am not even in that place. He's a nice guy, I lust him but please..I am not loving him, I am enjoying the sexual contact and the foreplay. If he only knew the connections that I have had. This one hasn't even hit level 2. And I realized now, he stopped talking about threesomes the last few days since we were first together. Maybe he is afraid of the attachment or something?!
My final words, an hour later. "I think we should go back to our original plan. fuck each others brains out, spend two to three hours fulfilling each other and then we can move on". There was no response from him although I know he read it.
So what the hell is going on here?
5 comments:
I thought I was the only one that was going after men who offered 'challenges'. Guys who disappear for days (in fear of getting too close).
Anyways, maybe he'll realize what he's missing on.
It's not only men who fear closeness, women too get up and run when they feel too much connection, in my experience!
You know, I really like your explanation here, of the NSA type of involvement, just the sex.
But also, in reading your posts, you apear to be wanting more. You have a tough time of simply letting it go, when he sez he's busy, or he needs some time, or he can't come over to fuck you right now when you want it.
Lighten up, let it flow. You want him, you've exclaimed it. He knows it, let it flow.
I think Clem is right, Cheri. It's not that he's scared of getting close. He just doesn't want you to want more, which you clearly do, despite your protestations. I hate to say this, hon, but when a man is really into you, you will know. And this one isn't.
yeah, just let it go girl..maybe he found another one again or more seriously he realized he can't take cheating anymore, or maybe he is he's real girl caught him. Lots of good and hot guys out there.
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