Cybersex=Resumes=Mental Masturbation=Fantasy Cutout!

As I was sending out resumes today (something I find to be like mental masturbation!) because everyone writes what the company want to hear. Well I know there needs to be a starting point but truth is, I give much better one on one communication than can be interpreted from the words on my resume. So, I hope my resume can build a picture of who I am...just enough to get myself into the door.

Anyway, my mind started slipping into Cyberspace again. I had another hot session with Mr. Backgammon Boy Toy. We both admitted that it just gets us so HOT!! His words of how he wants to suck on my nipples and descriptive words on how he wants to take them in his hands and slowly an dgently massage them until they are hard and erect. The words make then seem soo visual...like I can almost feel him touching my breasts. I certainly feel the tingles and the wetness develop in between my legs.

But the reality is, he is a male chauvanist, controlling man. I can just tell. Thankfully, I am too smart to see how he avoids questions but tries to get as much information as he could out of me......oh Cheri is no dummy. He knows nothing about me really. Just my sexual enjoyments, my desires, my lusts.......and my email (a different one so I can easily disappear into cyberspace)!

The reality about Cybersex is that 90% is in your head....a person appears, you know a little about them and then you make a whole story.....your story in your head. Their written words help feed your desires.....but its your own inner soul and burning desires that really make the person. So, in reality, a cyber partner can be sooooo easily replaced and a new one found. It's my old cutout theory!! Place your face in this hole and you fit my fantasy!

Now of course, as time goes on...you may start to get to know someone much deeper and then there becomes a real emotional connection but the truth....it still isn't real. That person doesn't share in your day to day triumphs and falls, they don't get your pissy mood.......they only get you when you are in the mood for them.

Well, I think that's why cybersex is such a turn on to me right now. Its' fulfilling a void but on my terms. It took me awhile to realize that even the guys I meet online, are pretty much easily replaceable. Yeah! Mr, Government hurt...but that's because we actually had a physical relationship that still is dragging on (although I pretty much left him behind mentally answering every other text message now) and then all the others. But I survived and I found another to tickle my fancy. So, I think I am getting better at this Cyberworld stuff. I've managed to find a balance.

Chris, he's another story. Ouch! our parting words hurt. But I am okay with it. I miss him, I miss the IM's all day, I miss the joking, I miss our shared interests...I thought he was my friend. But I will survive. Oh! I won't kill you with the song now!!

Well back to resumes........back to mental masturbation.....with a little Net Sex to fill up my free time. Hey, after my session last night with Mr. Backgammon, I was so horny, I had to release my tension. Rarily do I masturbate with the hubby right next to me but there was not way I could fall asleep with such a tightness and wetness in between my legs. So out came the Good N Plenty. Yes, he's sleeping next to me and I am fantasizing and using my little sex toy. Poor thing! If he only knew what he was missing, he would have woken up in a second!!
Sweet Wet Dreams!