TOXIC RELATIONSHIP- LIKE A DEADLY FLOWER

I've known the truth for a very long time now. And in fact, I have been trying to ignore it. Yes, I could see the writing on the wall but I kept searching for the person I cared about. I kept searching and searching because I knew he was in there. He had to be......but lately we have been living a scene from a movie-- Dr. Jerkyll and Mr. Hyde.

When you think someone is going through a rough time--you allot for their selfishness, their self absorption and their "ME" attitude. You allow that they don't seem to care about you anymore--even though at one time, you think they would have done anything for you. Isn't that what friendship is about?

Even with all the ups and the downs, you still stick by this person. The romantic feelings have faded, but you have a connection that you truly enjoy. It's like a beautiful flower. It brings you happiness, it excites you.... looking at a beautiful garden entices you to want to plant your own garden. So when you bring that flower into your home--the fragrance, the visual beauty--it makes you happy-it motivates you to do what you have to do in life.

Like a rose. It's beauty is breathtaking! Yet, the thorns will prick and hurt you if you aren't careful. You love to receive roses and you learn to tolerate (and be careful) of the thorns.

Then there is the MayApple, the Larkspur(Bleeding Heart) and Foxyglove. Stunning flowers yet they are all poisonous---causing you depression, anxiety, upset stomach, racing heart and illusions if you digest them.

Then there is the Oleander. So beautiful, so sweet, so fragrant.......so enticing yet it is the deadliest of them all. Digest this flower and it tortures you and then kills you. Scarily, many of us have it in our gardens and don't even know it's potential to be such a killer. It is TOXIC and you don't even know.

So in the end. Whatever the garden, if it doesn't give you back some benefit (beauty, food, fragrance)...it gets to the point that you would get tired of taking care of it. There is only so much time and energy you can put into it. And when the fucking garden just gives you poison ivy, kills your cat and starts strangling the other flowers---it's over. You realize that it's not worth it. Time for the weed killer!!

Last night, someone in my life sent me an email that I have never ever (nor would I ever) send to someone. This is someone that I truly care about, that I try to do whatever I can for him and he attacks me everytime. And we are talking vicious. And why, because I was annoyed with him because he took such an attitude when I said "Don't you have something to say to me today"? In a totally innocent flirty way.

I have moved on from him a long time ago as far as romantically. Yes, after our disasterous fucking section. And if he would have ever come to my blog....he would have seen that so many others have moved to center stage. He made sure he killed that garden with poisonous weed killer yet he is so full of himself--he didn't even see my romantic tendencies are gone. I am a flirt. I love men and I love to flirt. So to be told "I am creeping him out", "a romance that is nonexistent" and "That I am fucked up" . I was so taken back and destroyed. What romance?!? Then toturn the tables that I am SELFISH that I DON'T CARE. Those words hurt more than anything. Because with him, I give my all and have gotten nothing in return.

So we have said good by (again). And with every bitter fight, it puts a bigger wedge between us. And my brick wall goes higher and higher. And I have to remember you can't live on memories. You can't live on a connection that once was (no matter how intense it was for me), you can't live on the laughs you had in the past---you have to remember how that person, TODAY went for you, knowingly, to rip your heart to shreds.
Super Strength Weed Killer Please!!