Cheating? The Case: A Missing Condom

The Case Of The Missing Condom
Sometimes, I crack myself up. This is truly one of those times! To backtrack a little, right before I went on my rendezvous with Mr. G-, I happened to notice that my hubby had a box of unopened 3 pack of Trojans in the bathroom drawer and an empty box. For a glimpse of a second, I thought about taking one just in case but then decided that opening the box would set off a warning signal. So I went on my way to my secret Rendezvous!

Yesterday, I looked in the bathroom garbage can and there was an empty box. So I decided to open his drawer, and the three pack was gone. Interesting! We hadn't had sex. So where is that three pack. Is my husband cheating on me?

My reaction was not what I had expected. I started to giggle. How dysfunctional would it be if we were both sneaking around on the other one. I was impressed that he was even able to do it without me noticing. The only annoyance I felt was that if he was spending money on her, I'd have to cut off his dick (because things are so tight here right now).

Well, I nonchalantly said, what happened to your condoms. "I have them" he said. Now, I couldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. Normally, I would have probably been all over him. but I let it go. I decided to investigate further. Hidden under his shirts, were the box of condoms.....WITH ONE MISSING!!!!

Well, unless I want a divorce or a major war, I decided that I wasn't going to say anything. It's like with the kids "you have to choose your battles". Well I wasn't ready to take this on and since I knew, I'd just monitor the situation.

My only reaction was...."Poor Baby, he's having an affair and they only use One Rubber. He's getting totally short changed. Mr. G- and I use at least two if not all three with a lot of other fun and foreplay". Sadly, he used only one.

So now, I'm thinking, when could he have? Of course I know that there are so many hours in the day and honestly you just need 2 hours to be unaccountable for. Pretty easy to do! So I decided, to research a little further that night. I had looked by our bed, under the bed BUT when I got down on the floor, there was a condom. Behind the headboard. Hmmm...I got a hanger and fished it out. Took it to the package and compared the expiration dates and the serial numbers...it was the missing condom!

I felt disappointed a little. Probably because whatever little guilt I was feeling, I could have totally released. Now, that wasn't the case. He had probably placed it there thinking that we were going to do it one night. Let's see, was it because I was in such a great mood after my meeting with Mr. G- (guilt) and my conversation with Chris. Did he think he was going to get it? Oh well. So maybe this cheating spouse thing is improving my mood and improving our marriage in a totally dysfunctional way...

So, now I can just see when we do go to have sex. He's going to pull out the evidence and I am going to be hysterical laughing. Surely there will be no orgasm that night. All I will think about is "the Case of The Missing Condom".

So have a great Thanksgiving! I won't be around for a couple of days. I have family dinner to cook and then we're off for a family trip. So enjoy your turkeys, and enjoy your family! Best---Cheri!