Single Rock Star

Single Rock Star is guy who I thought was a womanizer. Never married, in a band and his profile said exactly what a woman likes to hear. His profile pulled me in. Saying how he is tired of eating chinese alone and how he's not looking for a barbie doll. He cares about chemistry but its the inner soul that counts as well. Gotta be an attraction, but gotta be more.

We joked back and forth and he basically had said it was up to me. With me being married, I was in the drivers seat. Okay, we talked a lot during the week. And I decided to meet him for coffee yesterday. Really test him and take him shopping first at the local bedding store where I had an errand to do. MM would have never did such a thing (most men wouldn't) but since we were going to meet half way.....and I had to make a return at this store that was half way...and I didn't know of a restaurant place around there...I basically said...meet me there. Ironically, that is MM's town. Single Rock Star recommended it.....and I said screw it. Its a big town (I didn't run into him).

Anyway, we met in the store and we went comforter shopping. He needed a comforter too so we had fun picking one out for his bed. That's one thing about me. If I connect with someone, it doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing--it can be fun. And so we went through the store......not soft enough, not warm enough, not manly enough....lay down on this sample...and if we were in it together? Hey, it is our first meeting but if there is a chance I do get to touch this comforter and nap with it...I want to make sure its comfortable..lol We picked out the same type but different colors....(how romantic! Lol)

We then walked across the street to the bookstore and grabbed a cup of coffee. I wasn't sure if he was into me. Was he laid back or being polite? We started talkking about other people we have met online and some meetings. And I asked him if it doesn't work out, what do you say. He says he says it right there. Face to face. If you know you aren't going to want to see the person again, you have to be honest. Oh my. Is this my blow off? We walked around the store and found two seats in the back and we talked. He wanted to know more about my life and I asked him about his. Still not sure. We were friendly, but I wasn't sure if the sparks were flying. I was physically attracted to him just not sure if we were connecting mentally. As friends we were. As more, I am not sure.

It was time to start to leave. I had to get home. It was nice. Before we got up, he looked at me and said...I would like to see you again, if you want to see me. Wow. I felt relieved and I did want to see him again. Except I am so knew to this single thing. He wants me to come over to his apartment and we know what that means. I am like a school girl. Not sure I am ready for that step. I say, that I will try to see him this week. I inform him that I am not single, nor do I know the proper etiquette of time lapse in calls or other crap like that. I call when I am thinking about you.....and he said he liked that. We kissed on the lips good by. Twice. As a joke, I called from the car as we were both pulling out. We both laughed....

Last night, I was thinking about him. He wanted to see me today. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to jump into bed with him just yet. He said that was fine. If I needed a lunch, we would lunch. but then we started to talk for over an hour. And it was from the heart. Although he seems sexually regressed. I ask him what he likes or talked about his favorite position and he shyed away from the conversation. Interesting? I felt a little dirty....And then he called me back and we talked some more. And, he told me what he was looking for. He is tired of being alone. And I told him, I can't offer you that. And honestly, if I do become single, I am not going to run to live with someone again. And I don't think I will ever marry (oh my, I sound like a man. Oh boy, I was shocked but its true. I really want to be free....at least for awhile). He said he understood that, that he knew that when we met. He liked my independence...he liked my strength but mostly he loved my attitude for life. He even offered to take a day off next week so we can spend time together.

So after talking to him today. I went from not sure to deciding, I want to be with him. I like him, I like his ways. He's not what I want long term, but right now, he is perfect.

Driving on the road today, the music blasting, I felt amazing. The light at the end of the tunnel is glowing strongly.....I am more than just content....I am fucking happy. Yes, it can all tumble in a second but for right now, today......financially things are not where I want, but heading in the right direction (oh please, I hope so)..... my marriage...well its not stopping me and thankfully he is leaving me alone and not doing anything detrimental or stupid right this minute. The house is calm.... And as far as my life. I am living it as if I were single right now. I am involved with three wonderful men, each fulfilling a part of me to make me totally happy. I am flirting with a bunch of other men...which I have to stop now because as I am writing this I got 4-5 different instant messages from men (wow, the surgeon, the uncircumsized guy, the divorce attorney who is furious with me, this other guy I don't remember and this other guy who flirted with me last week).

So I am feeling sexy and desirable....even got an email from Mr. Porsche saying he's annoyed because he had the date written down for our 1 year and he didn't look at his calendar. How damn sweet is that. Happy 1 year baby! xoxoxo Was what he wrote....

Okay off to my tub...to soak and enjoy this night. Yes, its so much better to soak when I am happy then with tears.