Of Course, Another I Love Lucy Moment

I always say how my life is an I Love Lucy show. The most strangest things happen to me. I would probably make quite an amusing reality show. I decided to take the pregnancy test last night. I needed to know, just get the negative and go on with my evening and sleep well. So I went to the back of under my sink and finally found it shoved in this cute little victorian box I keep under the sink. Anyway, I peed on it and waited the time. Now most tests, there is a control line and usually there are two things that happen. A line appears if you are pregnant and nothing if you are not OR a plus sign appears or a negative sign. MY strip showed a horizontal line in the control area and a vertical line in the other area. What the fuck does that mean?!?!

It wasn't a plus sign it wasn't a blank sign and it wasn't a negative sign...it was a damn vertical sign...AAAHH! I frantically looked for the box but remembered I had thrown it out to hide the test. I went online to try and see which test showed such results and of course, I couldn't find any. So I tossed and turned all night. i would have been better off not doing it. Grrr.....

I waited for the babysitter to come this morning and as soon as she arrived I flew out of the house to the drugstore. Which damn test was it? Why can't it be universal and who the hell came up with this vertical line? Stupid damn test. So I ran into the drugstore and went to the pregnancy test aisle and took my damned used test out to see which one it was. There were two possiblities and I am standing there holding the used test up to the boxes. Finally, I found the one that it was. What a ridiculous test and next time I don't but an extra one or I go with the test that says yes or no. It was negative. A damn vertical line (????) meant negative. I mean there should be universal results on this. Why so damn fancy.

And after I took a sigh of relief it hit me. What the hell was I thinking? I was standing in the aisle with a used test holding it up to boxes. If I knew anyone I would be the talk of the town. I am divorced with a used pregnancy stick holding it up to boxes. I couldn't help but laugh. I went in to grab some food in the store next door and my girlfriend was in there. What are you doing out so early she asked? I showed her the test and explained to her. OMG!! She was howling, you are carrying around your pregnancy test. Did you tell Mr. Porsche she asked. Yes, he was freaked out. I guess I should text him. I sent a note...no worries. He'll understand because I was taking the test this morning. He had a horrible week and was convinced that I definitely was pregnant because that would be the icing on the cake. And I assured him, he had absolutely nothing to worry about. we both know what would have to be done for so many reasons. but I hope I don't have to cross that bridge.

So now I can start my day. Still PMSing and jumping out of my skin. I am starting to go to the gym again today. I think the release will be very good for me. And then a nap. I tossed and turned all night. So if you saw a nut today holding a used pregnancy test in hand....hey, that was me!!