The Threesome Is Cancelled

Well the past few days has been a very depressing realization for me. I am low, very low and I am actually crying right now. It has been a built in rollercoaster...going from seeing six men to NONE!!

I had been talking back and forth with Mr. Astronaut's friend. I really like him and I had been thinking a lot about him. I went into the bath last night and he texted me. Mr. Astronaut and I are going to drive by to say hello. Just hello. I freaked NOOOO! First of all, Mr. Astronaut was not going so out of the way to just stop by and say hello to me. He was looking to set up the threesome. His friend truly thought it was going to be a hello. I was hurt that he wanted to do this with Mr. Astronaut there.

anyway, we went back and forth and I didm't want them coming here together. Either one separately would have been fine but not both. First, i am not doing a threesome in my house. So talking to both of them and then texting one on the others blackberry, my head was spinning. In the end we said we would get together tomorrow for lunch (thursday).

However, tonight Mr. Astronaut and I had the hugest blowout. He was coming over and everything was fine. then I don't know what happened. It got out of control. He said I wanted honeymoon sex, I made him beg and that I made him feel guilty and like a perv. OMG, where did this come from. I told him that I hated him everyday(I never once said that) and that he disappointed me everyday. He didn't want to feel the guilt and then he said Bye.

The tears began to roll down my face. where did that all come from? when did I do that. I never said i hated him, I never said he disappointed me and I was crushed. Honeymoon sex? What is the man talking about honeymoon sex? Is anything but a threesome honeymoon sex? Sex has been ravishly hot with us. There had been no emotional attachment, what is the man talking about?!? Something happened last night because his friend didn't even call me today. Mr. Astronaut made me feel so hurt and then he disappeared and wouldn't answer.

Last night I found out they are both divorced. I am not 100% sure but it sounded like it. His friend said his wife went away for three days!?1?! What--Mr. Astronaut said you were divorced. All of this just made me sit down and cry. And i realized no matter how hot he is, I can't do this anymore. I can't take the drama that he is causing. Its suppose to feel good and he makes me feel so undesirable. Sadly I realized tonight it was over. I can't go on like this anymore.

Mr. Porsche happened to call me when I was crying and now he felt that I sounded sad because of him. round 2---OMG....I tried to pretend I wasn't sad but he knows me so well. We talked and I even gave him the out to say goodby. I think I would have freaked if he took it but happily he didn't. while we were on the phone, he has this new nextel type of thing and his kid and his wife got on the phone. I could hear them and she was talking to him and telling him what she wanted for her birthday. It was too much for me to handle and he didn't expect her to get on so it was a bad scene. I had never heard her voice?!