Okay so this is the time I usually feel the deep void that needs to be filled. This is the time that I think Mystery Man is not coming back and this is the time I rush to Ashley Madison to find some flirting comfort. I give good email...its not hard to track down a few frogs to play with. There were three that I just dumped once MM came back into my life last time. Do I contact them and see what is going on?
Security Man has taken on a new light with me. I don't know if it has anything to do with MM...although I pretty much avoided contact for a week after and he called. It's something about him that has been bothering me. It's as if he is always joking but the undertone of his jokes are put downs. Not bad put downs but it takes a lot for him to open the communications. When I call him on it...he mellows. Sometimes you don't want the smart ass remarks like our joke about hey sweetie being a blow off.....here's a man who says his wife repulses him yet he has sex with her regularly. He needs to relieve himself....I personally can't even imagine having sex with someone who repulses me. Anyway, we've spoken, he's sweet but I don't have that desire for him right now.
Well I need to get out of this slump. It's hard when my heart is sad. I spent the weekend organizing my work stuff....getting my lists in order and hoping that getting on track will get me out of this depression. Throw myself into my work....get to the gym....and focus on me a little bit. And maybe go back to the pond this week to see if there are any frogs worth enticing. The divorce attorney is so persistent....poor thing....its been three years and he's still trying to get me in bed. He called again today....MBA IM'd me....I ignored them both. Even the guy who is far away who had a crush on me for years...he text me tonight. Funny how something can be so intense and then my life changed.
They aren't what I am looking for..I had the best of both worlds at one time...its hard to replace that.
So now what?! I am going to try and start tomorrow with a smile on my face and some joy in my heart. And put the bottle of Xanax away....yes, mother's little helper has been helping me a little too often these past couple of weeks.
Oh I did begin to do my stretches again. I figure, eventually I am going to want to have wild sex again.....and the more flexible I am the better it will be.....so I am going to continue to do my stretches....sex when your legs can spread in so many ways is just so damn hot....a man can get to allllll those special spots that send you flying.....so I might as well limber up till I decide which path to take. I am actually deciding now between hot yoga and pole dancing! I swear....I have friends who are taking both and they have asked me to join them. Cheri does the pole!! hahahahaha
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