Good Work Day, Sad Heart

Mr. Wants Me For My Brain is turning out to be a business partner rather than any sexual connection. Ironically, we haven't met yet he has already gotten me another client besides himself. I cannot complain, I can use the work but its so strange to be looking for a sexual connection and then he turns into a business associate. So Ashley Madison gets me another client! lol Wait, I want sex....I am almost turning asexual these days...better give Mr. Porsche a call..

Today was a flood of frogs. Texting going off every few minutes, calls coming in. I was actually a little overwhelmed since my workday is packed these days. Timing in life is everything. That guy on Ashley that hadn't answered me in so long and then he finally answered. Well he has been texting me all day....I thought you were going to text me. I see you don't keep your promise. And he called three times. GEEZ, so this is what a pain in the ass is.....WOW, Finally I typed back....You know you are quite high maintenance....lol I thought it was funny, I guess now I see why woman don't like that...but you said you were going to text...blah blah blah
Geez, he's clueless, even his texts are illiterate. Not my type. We are night and day. I need wit, I need sexy, I need intellectually stimulating...he's missing all those.

Felt bad today about Security Man. We've been in touch on and off but I know that was my fault. The sex was good but I don't know, for me its a reminder on one reason why I lost MM. I was watching Sex and the City Movie and was thinking...wow, he's my Mister Big. Yup....

So my career is going very well right now. Lots of money opportunities but there is that deep, deep void in my heart. Can you have that void filled, be sexually satisfied and have your career going very well? I don't know. Why was there such a brief period in my life where I was content? Where my heart woke up with a smile each day? I want those fuzzies, I want that romance, those flutters. I am okay on the outside but when my head hits that pillow, I felt a tear last night hit the pillow. I held the pillow tight and dreamed fell asleep with a slew of flashbacks that while they made my heart fill up, there was a sadness.

So now, there are potentials on the pond...but I am not excited about any specific one. It's not that wild, fun, exciting, mystery feeling....its so real. Mr Married Prince Charming....please find me soon!!