Ask Her To Come Over And Watch

Something about Mr. Astronaut that I know is not healthy but he keeps luring me back in. There's this animalistic side to him, this dark side and yet his governmental ties...the dangerous side...all wrapped up is irristable to me. This threesome thing is making me crazy. He has me chatting with his friend (who now wants me alone and not with him). He had me place ads for a threesome (which turned out to be really skanky responses) and tonight he wanted my GF to watch me give him a blowjob.

Seemed innocent enough and fun so I asked her. She said why not, something else I can mark on my list of things I did (yes, my good friend Mandy). So I wasn't sure he was coming over and she wasn't sure she was coming over but she got a call from her BF so she decided to sneak out and come to my house. Ironically, I was on the phone and Mr. Astronaut was texting me. He decided to go home and Mandy had come here. It would have worked out perfectly in timing but he didn't stop by.

I texted him, where are you? He was almost home. I explained to him that she was here and it would have worked out. Well here's the thing, she had to leave. But now i was flipped because he didn't just stop by to do me...but would travel all the way back if she was going to be here? We started to make plans to see each other on Monday or Sunday. Then at the end, he throws in, can you bring the audience? when i got annoyed, he said, we are looking for different things, maybe I should find a new playmate.

So I returned with...fine. And I will just fuck your friend so hard without you. He will enjoy every minute of me sucking his cock. Yum!! Well, I admit it was a little vicious but he was hurting me with the playmate thing. well, he flipped. I never would say I would fuck your friend...blah, blah, blah.

And then I went back with...tell me you want me! Stop making me feel like I can send two other pussies and it wouldn't matter if I was there. I feel like my pussy is interchangable. At one point, I screamed there are so many men who would fuck me in a second. More than you can imagine....worldwide and you don't want to fuck me!! It's mind boggling to me that he has this damn bucket list and he refuses to sway away from it. Yes, i feel rejected.

Okay so the interchangable pussy comment did not go over well. Your an ass Good night. and jerk. was his after thought. I know I was going for the buttons there. But I need to feel wanted. I ended it with why is it so hard for you to tell me that you want me or you don't? you know everybody has their thing. I am a pleaser and what's important to me is to feel wanted and desired. that's my thing. Why are you so against making me feel wanted? OK, the ball is in your court, if you want to find another playmate, I guess that's ur choice. I tried. I did everything you asked me to do.

Going to sleep and feeling like crap. Why does this man not want me? Actually, why can't this man tell me he wants me? Honestly, I know his type. Emotionless in some ways. A lot like the rest of my frogs, afraid of their inner emotion. he is a hard ass. He is just like Mr. government. It must be part of the training, I swear. Uncle Sam makes them hard and their emotions are destroyed. Or its what they see in a day. It hardens them so that they can't show good emotions like desire, want, love, caring...its as if they see it as a weakness. Whatever it is, I always go for the difficult ones.

As I am sitting here, late at night. There is this sweet guy that I have gone on a few dates now. we all know that he doesn't make me as crazy as mr. Astronaut or Mr. Porsche. He's a simple man. He is a perfectionist. He is organized, his whole life is perfect. I guessed that his underwear was folded, his shirts color coordinated in his closet, his work is done two days before deadline and he is up at 4aM to start his day so he can have a cup of coffee and read the newspaper. The man reads the same newspaper to go to work and a different one to go home. His life is simple...and he adores me. He just sent me a text telling me that he is thinking of me, asked how my day was and if I was getting some beauty sleep. Aaaaaah!! He's the one I should be going after. the simple man who thinks I am so sweet (and yes, he thinks I am a little innocent, a little too timid to sleep with him just yet--ok, stop laughing, I like this vision he has of me! lol). However, he admitted to me that he knows my goal is to take him out of his comfort box. Yes, I do intend on causing a little havoc in his life. I am going to push him over his comfort limits and quite frankly I think he likes that thought. I know I am going to rock his world. But who knows, he might surprise me and show up with the whips and gag ball.....lol

It's time for bed. Mr. Porsche and I had it out tonight as well. I haven't seen him in three weeks and when he didn't make mention of seeing me today, I lost it. Ummm...BIATCH was his word for me, in a loving manner of course. I love Mr. Porsche. I am me with him. No matter what the situation, I just tell him what is on my mind. He pulls it out of me purposely. His theory is that it sits in me and festers and eventually I explode. So he prefers to take the small doses of sarcasm instead of a total flip out. Tonight, I told him how I miss him and it hurts that he couldn't see me and I realized that all this crap was going wrong in his life but I was still pouting. He said he knew it and that he was sorry and that he would make it up to me. hopefully next week, we can straighten this all out.

Well, I have a feeling I won't be hearing from Mr. Astronaut. I pushed him to his limits tonight. I went for the kill. But let me ask you....if you never experienced sex outside of the bedroom and wanted to experiment. I mean I asked him did you ever do it anywhere outside of a car and he said no. So I made a list of places for us to do it. I even invited him over to fuck me in my backyard in the moonlight...Grrrr....I was in rare form tonight.