With men it always comes down to sex. Yes, the hubby asked that question today. And of course, I denied it. It actually had no relevance to our conversation. Funny, my extracurricular activities are not the issue. With all that is going on, that is what he is concerned about--his cock.
Today was the icing on the cake......the final explosion that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. You see, he took a check that I was waiting for from the government and he cashed it. Let's see, you have given nothing to this house in 7 months, you know our marriage is in trouble so you steal a check? Well that was the finale.
Raving Lunatic was an understatement. Here I am feeling bad, trying to tell him to get some help and what does he do....the same shit!! It was like salt in a wound. mediator? i don't think so. This man is never going to change. Never going to give his fair share around here. I will probably have to take him to court.
He insists I haven't given our marriage a fair try. WHAT?!?!? Are you for fucking real? I have been miserable for years and have told you over and over and over again. Now you want to pin it on me. Now you want me to take the blame. I should stick around another year while you pull me further and further into your black hole hoping that you may change?! Oh no.....I will not.
And then the topper. The wicked witch of the west sister in law that I have. I decided to spend the weekend with my family. Mind you, I haven't seen or heard from her in a year. Last conversation, I told her to help her brother. That I was miserable and you should help him. Well today she leaves a bitchy message on my voicemail. what kind of family do we have that he cannot choose to see his sisters. I am coming in, you are selfish. Screaming at me. well baby, this was a mistake. You have been in at least 4 times this year and never even saw us. now all of a sudden you open your mouth....
Well the tsunami tidal wave overcame me. It was like a rush of anger I haven't felt in a long time. And so I returned the call. who the fuck do you think you are? (I don't think I have ever spoken to someone like that). you spoiled bitch. you have the nerve to call me like that. well she starts and then I cut her off......Fuck you!!! You've been in and haven't visited and i should kiss your ass...and then I went off like a raving lunatic. Something i always wanted to do with her but held my tongue. Today I couldn't. I should support and respect my husband was one of her lines. Well, can you see where we are going with this? UGLY! In my life I have never talken to someone like this.
I hung up shaking. Oh she will have advice for her brother. Not even knowing the situation, she will steer him to rip me off....hence, the trip to court. Ladies and gentleman, its going to get ugly.
Depression sunk in today. I threw myself in bed. I am going to go back into bed now. I wish i could run away....
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Hubby Suffocation
Oh today was a duzzy. Now this may sound horrible but the husband ruined my me paradise meeting with Mystery Man. All of a sudden the man is Joe Up My Ass. What office are you going to? Who you meeting? Wanna go to lunch (hmmm....I left the house at 12noon why you asking me that?) He called 7 times while Mystery Man and I were together. The phone was driving us insane. He officially ruined my orgasms...
I think Mystery Man's lips were going to fall off in the attempt to eat me out and get me to cum. My head was not there. Is this divorce going to ruin my sex life? lol
Except for the stress and guilt I felt (yes guilt as mr. Porshe and hubby's calls came in back to back).. It actually was a really nice afternoon. It was our one year celebration!!
The setting...I brought rose petals....a bottle of wine, real glasses and an outfit that I was very pleased with....and so was Mystery Man. So you have to know that I must share my outfit with you. Yes, it was classy yet slutty. You are going to have to use your imagination a little....the 
corset was in red with black trim. the stockings were in black with a red stripe....the fringed underwear was crotchless...and the gloves with the maraboue....a huge hit...just added that sexy feeling that made the day perfect. Yes, the Cheri Fucking Fund with Ashley Madison affiliate money is what paid for the outfit. Kind of makes it even more sinful and hot. Other people's cheating has enhanced my own affair with this hot outfit they paid for. Demented yet 
sinfully hot!
Mystery Man swore he was going to make me beg today. Well truth be known, he couldn't wait for me to really beg....he devoured me...we started the day off with a glass of wine and we toasted....to great sex, to a perfect paradise....and then he said Happy Anniversary...we drank and then standing there, he kissed me with such passion...gotta tell you, our lips know exactly what to do...perfect connection...
Last night he sent me an email, saying how he kept fantasizing that I would be leaning over the bed with one foot on the bed as he entered me from behind...his total access to my wet box as he thrusted hard inside of me....pulling out and re-entering to drive me wild. and so, we fulfilled that fantasy and it was hot. Super hot. Now, Mystery Man can usually hold his cum for quite awhile..today the outfit, the sensual connection and the fantasy set him right over the edge. And honestly, I would have been insulted if it was any other way.
He brought lunch, our favorite sandwiches (become a regular thing that he stops and gets lunch now) and we took our break.....his cock needs 10 minutes to recoup. So a perfect time to relax, talk and eat some lunch. another glass of wine...and I was feeling a little giddy....we started talking more about us. I hope it doesn't send him running for the hills but for a year, I wanted to talk. I made him promise me that he would never just take off again. He kissed me gently and promised. we talked about this mystery thing, and truth is it bothers me that i don't know his life. It bothers me that i don't know his last name. It bothers me that he could disappear without a trace. But its not going to change right now.
I love what we have just as long as I don't think. We thanked each other for all that have given to each other this past year. Yes, we were open with our feelings...I admitted i had no expectations that we would kill each other in real life...lol
And then he said...okay, tell me this weeks hysterical story. you always have a funny story to tell me. Hmmm...my dad thought that my Ashley Madison checks were from an escort service. He was nicely trying to ask me if I was doing escorting for a living. then we both started to giggle. Truth is, no dad...i give it away for free! Geez...
And then I told him that I was going to bring a pix of me as a teenager. I'm sure you were just as beautiful then as you are now, I would love to see it. Do you think I am beautiful? I tell you all the time....you have to know you are gorgeous. Sigh, it sounded so nice coming out of his mouth. He held my face in his hands and kissed me gently....you are amazing. you are pretty and so damn sexy..and i am a really lucky guy! Wow.....we kissed and then we gently made love. It wasn't hot sex, it was the slow sex we have where it is sensual, deep, and erotic. He knows i love when we look at each other in the mirror and so we proceeded into that position...slowly sliding in me and out as he kissed my neck and played with my hair whispering sweet things in my ear.....wow....it was so damn hot (even with the phone ringing off the wall)!
I lied in his arms and he started to tell me how I have this sexy yet goofy far away look like I am in paradise when i am about to cum. OMG! Is that bad? And you know you bite your bottom lip? Is that bad? He started to laugh. No,its the flashbacks that give me a hardon all week when I am not with you. Hmm...good thing I don't cross my eyes or anything funky looking!
On to total Cock attention. I love his cock. It's perfectly shaped and it is the right size...absolutely no complaints. He's my best friend I told him. so we stood up and with my gloves on I carressed his body.....it was hot with the gloves. and then I threw him back on the bed and poured wine on his cock.....and licked and sucked until he moaned continually. I love when you suck my cock. I love watching you. Gently pushing my head down until he literally was down my throat...yes, trust....true trust...i played with his cock and licked and sucked making the slurping noises that he loves....
And then we fucked again! lol this time all different positions...yes, he frogged it and he even ribbits...hysterical to me on so many different levels. A song Welcome To My World came on and he said that right after a ribbit....I froze....that's what I say on my blog and my podcast. It happened to be the song but the ribbiting and frog position and that statement. For a second I thought he knew.
Have you ever heard the Ashley Madison commercial on the radio? I think its on Howard Stern. I guess in there they say "Thank you Ashley Madison" so as we are both just about to climax and cum he screams out Thank you Ashley Madison..I just started giggling to no end. Because of my affiliate program, he makes fun of me like the bald club of america. what was that line...now I forgot. I'm not just the president, i am a client too...or something like that....i say practice what you preach. and baby, I am practicing, practicing and practicing!!! lol
Sigh, he will be gone for two weeks now. One on business and one on vacation. Can I survive another two weeks? I do not know. Gotta tell ya about mr. porsche..I screwed up today...he left a really nice message and I didn't listen to it. I was a little tipsy and overwhelmed...he went out of his way and i admitted i erased it before listening to the whole thing. He was crushed.
So what did I forget anything...oh yeah..I gave him a back and foot massage...he loves his feet massaged and while I hate feet..he actually has nice looking ones.
I'm feeling a little anxiety tonight. Usually I am totally content. This is going to be a long year...I liked when the hubby ignored me better now I'm being suffocated..
I think Mystery Man's lips were going to fall off in the attempt to eat me out and get me to cum. My head was not there. Is this divorce going to ruin my sex life? lol
Except for the stress and guilt I felt (yes guilt as mr. Porshe and hubby's calls came in back to back).. It actually was a really nice afternoon. It was our one year celebration!!
The setting...I brought rose petals....a bottle of wine, real glasses and an outfit that I was very pleased with....and so was Mystery Man. So you have to know that I must share my outfit with you. Yes, it was classy yet slutty. You are going to have to use your imagination a little....the 
corset was in red with black trim. the stockings were in black with a red stripe....the fringed underwear was crotchless...and the gloves with the maraboue....a huge hit...just added that sexy feeling that made the day perfect. Yes, the Cheri Fucking Fund with Ashley Madison affiliate money is what paid for the outfit. Kind of makes it even more sinful and hot. Other people's cheating has enhanced my own affair with this hot outfit they paid for. Demented yet 
sinfully hot!
Mystery Man swore he was going to make me beg today. Well truth be known, he couldn't wait for me to really beg....he devoured me...we started the day off with a glass of wine and we toasted....to great sex, to a perfect paradise....and then he said Happy Anniversary...we drank and then standing there, he kissed me with such passion...gotta tell you, our lips know exactly what to do...perfect connection...Last night he sent me an email, saying how he kept fantasizing that I would be leaning over the bed with one foot on the bed as he entered me from behind...his total access to my wet box as he thrusted hard inside of me....pulling out and re-entering to drive me wild. and so, we fulfilled that fantasy and it was hot. Super hot. Now, Mystery Man can usually hold his cum for quite awhile..today the outfit, the sensual connection and the fantasy set him right over the edge. And honestly, I would have been insulted if it was any other way.
He brought lunch, our favorite sandwiches (become a regular thing that he stops and gets lunch now) and we took our break.....his cock needs 10 minutes to recoup. So a perfect time to relax, talk and eat some lunch. another glass of wine...and I was feeling a little giddy....we started talking more about us. I hope it doesn't send him running for the hills but for a year, I wanted to talk. I made him promise me that he would never just take off again. He kissed me gently and promised. we talked about this mystery thing, and truth is it bothers me that i don't know his life. It bothers me that i don't know his last name. It bothers me that he could disappear without a trace. But its not going to change right now.
I love what we have just as long as I don't think. We thanked each other for all that have given to each other this past year. Yes, we were open with our feelings...I admitted i had no expectations that we would kill each other in real life...lol
And then he said...okay, tell me this weeks hysterical story. you always have a funny story to tell me. Hmmm...my dad thought that my Ashley Madison checks were from an escort service. He was nicely trying to ask me if I was doing escorting for a living. then we both started to giggle. Truth is, no dad...i give it away for free! Geez...
And then I told him that I was going to bring a pix of me as a teenager. I'm sure you were just as beautiful then as you are now, I would love to see it. Do you think I am beautiful? I tell you all the time....you have to know you are gorgeous. Sigh, it sounded so nice coming out of his mouth. He held my face in his hands and kissed me gently....you are amazing. you are pretty and so damn sexy..and i am a really lucky guy! Wow.....we kissed and then we gently made love. It wasn't hot sex, it was the slow sex we have where it is sensual, deep, and erotic. He knows i love when we look at each other in the mirror and so we proceeded into that position...slowly sliding in me and out as he kissed my neck and played with my hair whispering sweet things in my ear.....wow....it was so damn hot (even with the phone ringing off the wall)!
I lied in his arms and he started to tell me how I have this sexy yet goofy far away look like I am in paradise when i am about to cum. OMG! Is that bad? And you know you bite your bottom lip? Is that bad? He started to laugh. No,its the flashbacks that give me a hardon all week when I am not with you. Hmm...good thing I don't cross my eyes or anything funky looking!
On to total Cock attention. I love his cock. It's perfectly shaped and it is the right size...absolutely no complaints. He's my best friend I told him. so we stood up and with my gloves on I carressed his body.....it was hot with the gloves. and then I threw him back on the bed and poured wine on his cock.....and licked and sucked until he moaned continually. I love when you suck my cock. I love watching you. Gently pushing my head down until he literally was down my throat...yes, trust....true trust...i played with his cock and licked and sucked making the slurping noises that he loves....
And then we fucked again! lol this time all different positions...yes, he frogged it and he even ribbits...hysterical to me on so many different levels. A song Welcome To My World came on and he said that right after a ribbit....I froze....that's what I say on my blog and my podcast. It happened to be the song but the ribbiting and frog position and that statement. For a second I thought he knew.
Have you ever heard the Ashley Madison commercial on the radio? I think its on Howard Stern. I guess in there they say "Thank you Ashley Madison" so as we are both just about to climax and cum he screams out Thank you Ashley Madison..I just started giggling to no end. Because of my affiliate program, he makes fun of me like the bald club of america. what was that line...now I forgot. I'm not just the president, i am a client too...or something like that....i say practice what you preach. and baby, I am practicing, practicing and practicing!!! lol
Sigh, he will be gone for two weeks now. One on business and one on vacation. Can I survive another two weeks? I do not know. Gotta tell ya about mr. porsche..I screwed up today...he left a really nice message and I didn't listen to it. I was a little tipsy and overwhelmed...he went out of his way and i admitted i erased it before listening to the whole thing. He was crushed.
So what did I forget anything...oh yeah..I gave him a back and foot massage...he loves his feet massaged and while I hate feet..he actually has nice looking ones.
I'm feeling a little anxiety tonight. Usually I am totally content. This is going to be a long year...I liked when the hubby ignored me better now I'm being suffocated..
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Home alone, you're on my mind...
Mystery Man is certainly doing EVERYTHING right! The man has such a way with emails that can keep me in mental paradise the entire time we are apart. I see his email pop up on the screen and I know, I am in for a treat. I can't wait to see him tomorrow. I need that escape more than ever!
Last night, I sent him this email. And his response is down below. Yes, tomorrow i am bringing that bottle of wine to our meeting. Some candles....and rose petals...going out today to see if I can find a sexy leopard outfit for the occasion. I need an escape. My body needs to feel alive again.
Home alone, your on my mind....
Sitting by the computer....home alone. wouldn't it be nice if there could be a knock on my door. And when I open it, there you are with that sinister,sexy smile...mmmmm...now I am in for a treat....I take your hand, and walk you upstairs. A jacuzzi to start our evening with a bottle of wine, candles...and as the jacuzzi is filling, we can't wait. We undress each other with a passion and desire,like two animals in heat....my clit yearning for you.....my walls pulsating for your tongue, your fingers, your cock. Yes, my dancing partner is ready to dance....you throw me on the bed and thrust inside of me..mmmm....perfect...I can hear myself moaning but my head is in paradise. After 15 minutes of fucking each others brains out in all our favorite positions, we progress to the bath...yes, i always wanted to blow a man in my tub. Actually, you've been in there quite a few times, in my head...lol
Aaaahhh.....okay back to reality....lol.....gotta do some work....
xoxoxo... man, its been way too long since we've gone to paradise....
And Mystery Man's comments:
Some comments,
1-you put the Sin in Sinister
2-thought you would lead me by my cock instead of my hand up the stairs
3-You remember what I would do with a bottle of wine (the wine tasting story)
4-Dripping hot wax on sensitive body parts could be fun
5-you had your chance to blow me in a tub once before (albiet empty) but I plowed you doggie style instead
Last night, I sent him this email. And his response is down below. Yes, tomorrow i am bringing that bottle of wine to our meeting. Some candles....and rose petals...going out today to see if I can find a sexy leopard outfit for the occasion. I need an escape. My body needs to feel alive again.
Home alone, your on my mind....
Sitting by the computer....home alone. wouldn't it be nice if there could be a knock on my door. And when I open it, there you are with that sinister,sexy smile...mmmmm...now I am in for a treat....I take your hand, and walk you upstairs. A jacuzzi to start our evening with a bottle of wine, candles...and as the jacuzzi is filling, we can't wait. We undress each other with a passion and desire,like two animals in heat....my clit yearning for you.....my walls pulsating for your tongue, your fingers, your cock. Yes, my dancing partner is ready to dance....you throw me on the bed and thrust inside of me..mmmm....perfect...I can hear myself moaning but my head is in paradise. After 15 minutes of fucking each others brains out in all our favorite positions, we progress to the bath...yes, i always wanted to blow a man in my tub. Actually, you've been in there quite a few times, in my head...lol
Aaaahhh.....okay back to reality....lol.....gotta do some work....
xoxoxo... man, its been way too long since we've gone to paradise....
And Mystery Man's comments:
Some comments,
1-you put the Sin in Sinister
2-thought you would lead me by my cock instead of my hand up the stairs
3-You remember what I would do with a bottle of wine (the wine tasting story)
4-Dripping hot wax on sensitive body parts could be fun
5-you had your chance to blow me in a tub once before (albiet empty) but I plowed you doggie style instead
Saturday, April 12, 2008
A definite Giggle!
I just wanted to you know I am okay. Nothing has really changed here. We are actually communicating and being cordial. Some of the anger has left the house, so that is good. We will see what progresses. As we all know, a divorce doesn't happen over night and quite frankly, I plan to keep going and existing like I have been.
So for my entertainment, I went on Ashley last night. Just to browse, just to see what was out there. I asked for a few pictures....wow, the selection has increased for both men and women. i guess sex is in the air with the Spring around the corner. I am content sexually right now so I am just browsing. You never know!
Well I have no intensions on coming off of Ashley Madison. Quite frankly, I don't want a commitment so I plan on mingling...having fun. Doing exactly what I do!
Now Hale sent me something that I have never laughed so hard. It hit such a funny bone that I have been giggling for hours. I watched it 3 times already. Thanks Hale, its exactly what i needed...perfect timing..take a look...what a pissa!
I admit, I passed it on to Mystery Man. he makes his cock dance like that and it was certainly a memory of my manamana days with DigEm. hopefully he will visit my site and see it here (I still think about you and miss ya baby!!) Mystery man wrote back.....hey, my cock has a better voice, I was thinking of auditioning for American Idol.....is he funny or what?! I asked him to wear his leapord underwear so he can look like this pix ...too funny that my favorite position is when he fucks me and he looks like a frog....geez, my life is so warped!!
We are meeting tomorrow..I need the escape. He sent me another email...be sure to wear your leapord tomorrow...I am going to fuck you like an animal!! hehehe I can't wait.....
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's Out
Well today was a tough day. All the shit hit the fan. I laid it on the line with the hubby and it sunk in finally. I want a divorce. I'm not happy, your not happy..we can't go on living like this....
His response, let's go to therapy. Geez, that might have worked 3 years ago. So much has happened, so much has built up-sadly, it's too late. I cried. I told him that I just want my freedom. There's got to be more out there for both of us. For the most part it was a humane conversation.
I don't know how I am going to do it. I just know that I am not happy with things like this. I am sooo sad. I failed. I never give up. But I did. So, now what? Ironically, he has no place to go. We are both alone in some ways. It's sad, very sad.
But I need to do this. I need to get on my feet and pull myself up. I need to get my shit together. yeah, I am talking to myself there...hehehe. So what do I feel inside right now?
Fear. Sadness. Concern. Guilt.
And then there is
Hope. Desire. Excitement.
But Fear is right now the leader. I am alone.
I threw myself in bed after our talk and I slept. He managed to go around and do stuff around the house that I have been asking him to do. how ironic is that. I am frozen right now. I started the ball its time to start it rolling. It's truly what I want...I hope I can make it.
The realization that I have right now. Some people eave their marriages because they are sexually unhappy. well the truth is, i am extremely content right now sexually. I took that freedom a long time ago. So, its deeper than that. I need my financial freedom right now. I need to take care of my children. I need to stop having unexpected bricks land on my head. And that's what he does to me.
What made me decide to do it now? I was in the middle of planning. Well, the truth is...the liens cannot be removed until the financial obligations are met (he hadn't totally taken care of the one i thought he did). So I thought about it, I have been paying over $30,000 into the house and bills the last 6 months. He has given me no money. So, do I keep going on like this as he doesnt get a job. Quite frankly, I am helping him by doing this. forcing him to get a job...forcing him to get his life on track. I guess all else falled so I have to give him the Tough Love for his children's sake.
And, obviously with this revelation...I didn't meet mystery man. all of a sudden my sex drive died! Mr. Porsche knows what I did and he understands it isn't because of him so we are fine. Mystery Man made it quite clear....the day I am getting separated, we have to end. So, I told him straight out...I just won't tell you. And that is what I am going to do.
I asked him, do you know what wednesday is? He ignored me....he knows!! lol
His response, let's go to therapy. Geez, that might have worked 3 years ago. So much has happened, so much has built up-sadly, it's too late. I cried. I told him that I just want my freedom. There's got to be more out there for both of us. For the most part it was a humane conversation.
I don't know how I am going to do it. I just know that I am not happy with things like this. I am sooo sad. I failed. I never give up. But I did. So, now what? Ironically, he has no place to go. We are both alone in some ways. It's sad, very sad.
But I need to do this. I need to get on my feet and pull myself up. I need to get my shit together. yeah, I am talking to myself there...hehehe. So what do I feel inside right now?
Fear. Sadness. Concern. Guilt.
And then there is
Hope. Desire. Excitement.
But Fear is right now the leader. I am alone.
I threw myself in bed after our talk and I slept. He managed to go around and do stuff around the house that I have been asking him to do. how ironic is that. I am frozen right now. I started the ball its time to start it rolling. It's truly what I want...I hope I can make it.
The realization that I have right now. Some people eave their marriages because they are sexually unhappy. well the truth is, i am extremely content right now sexually. I took that freedom a long time ago. So, its deeper than that. I need my financial freedom right now. I need to take care of my children. I need to stop having unexpected bricks land on my head. And that's what he does to me.
What made me decide to do it now? I was in the middle of planning. Well, the truth is...the liens cannot be removed until the financial obligations are met (he hadn't totally taken care of the one i thought he did). So I thought about it, I have been paying over $30,000 into the house and bills the last 6 months. He has given me no money. So, do I keep going on like this as he doesnt get a job. Quite frankly, I am helping him by doing this. forcing him to get a job...forcing him to get his life on track. I guess all else falled so I have to give him the Tough Love for his children's sake.
And, obviously with this revelation...I didn't meet mystery man. all of a sudden my sex drive died! Mr. Porsche knows what I did and he understands it isn't because of him so we are fine. Mystery Man made it quite clear....the day I am getting separated, we have to end. So, I told him straight out...I just won't tell you. And that is what I am going to do.
I asked him, do you know what wednesday is? He ignored me....he knows!! lol
If I don't get your cock today, i may die!!
Yes, a little drama there. But I have never had such a need and desire for someone in my life. I have been trying to keep it undercontrol since i don't want to get hurt again by Mystery Man...but when he sends me emails that make me wild....I can't help it. Realization, he has sucked me back in. Still have reservations but I have decided, enjoy it while its here. You can regret it and pick up the pieces later but have a fucking amazing time while its on the upswing.
He's been away on business all week. the emails back and forth this morning have been hysterical....sexual, high energy....and desire!! my last email....hurry, i might flood the state I'm so damn wet for you!!
my mouth is on emergency call right now! Yes, he is going to try and sneak away...fit me inbetween meetings as I will him. Literally a lunch break for us both.
So, here I am again...yearning and desiring his cock right now. My mind racing with our first embrace....oh, if we go to our paradise today,i can guarantee that it will be ravaging, not sex. My body is adickted to him and I need him like morphine..oh my! the anticipation is going to kill me!
He's been away on business all week. the emails back and forth this morning have been hysterical....sexual, high energy....and desire!! my last email....hurry, i might flood the state I'm so damn wet for you!!
my mouth is on emergency call right now! Yes, he is going to try and sneak away...fit me inbetween meetings as I will him. Literally a lunch break for us both.
So, here I am again...yearning and desiring his cock right now. My mind racing with our first embrace....oh, if we go to our paradise today,i can guarantee that it will be ravaging, not sex. My body is adickted to him and I need him like morphine..oh my! the anticipation is going to kill me!
He Makes Me Wet, I need his cock
So I asked Mystery Man if he is horny yet? Has he thought about my mouth wrapped around his cock? And this was his response. so visual...so accurate...the man makes me wet just by his emails.....I can't wait to ravage him....yes, he perfectly described me sucking on his cock! Oh, I need him....
My My My someone is a sex starved horny bitch.....hmmmmm wonder who THAT could be......can you feel the head of my cock swelling and pressing up against the roof of your mouth as my veiny shaft decends down your throat and pushs your tonsils back making you gag just a little as you suck on me like a baby sucking on her pacifier. Oh how wonderful the sound is when you pull back and draw you lips off the top of my cock making a loud smacking sound as your lips slap together and the wet sticky saliva string hangs from the tip of my cock to the bottom of your lip. You open your moth wide and dive back down again massaging my dick with your tongue as you deep throat me once again..........
My My My someone is a sex starved horny bitch.....hmmmmm wonder who THAT could be......can you feel the head of my cock swelling and pressing up against the roof of your mouth as my veiny shaft decends down your throat and pushs your tonsils back making you gag just a little as you suck on me like a baby sucking on her pacifier. Oh how wonderful the sound is when you pull back and draw you lips off the top of my cock making a loud smacking sound as your lips slap together and the wet sticky saliva string hangs from the tip of my cock to the bottom of your lip. You open your moth wide and dive back down again massaging my dick with your tongue as you deep throat me once again..........
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I Want Out Of this marriage!! you need a vacation
For the 7 millionth time today, I told my husband that I wanted out. I wasn't happy. you need to get away for a few nights. And he once again walked out of the room. I told him I was only picking up health insurance for me and my son. He was shocked but said nothing. Okay, I can't do that but I need him to do something. I don't hate the man because he is the father of my children. But I don't like him.
I took my son out for dinner. It is rare that I have some time with him. I took him to my friend the Doctor (the one who introduced me to Mr. Porsche). And then we talked about school, working summer and then I brought up divorce. You need some nights away. Hmmmm....seems to be the house census. No sweetie, I am very unhappy. I need to make a real change. Nah, whose going to take care of my sisters, whose going to take me to sports. Interesting...the kid has all my fears down pat. The only thing that is keeping me here. So, is it that obvious that is what is holding me back. I bet the hubby knows it as well and that is his keeper chip. yeah, he's been using it.
So now I have told everyone I am unhappy, That i can't go on like this and they are telling me.....yeah, go on vacation. Well, now what?!?! I feel like I am gay and I have come out of the closet. And people are saying....Nah, your not. this is unbelievable.
I guess I need to get the insurance in place tomorrow and take care of the lien. Finishing making my calls and next week attempt again. My next step--give him a choice--- lawyer or mediator. He's obviously taking me somewhat serious,my brother in law called today. He only calls when the shit hits the fan. I ignored his call. I am in for some ride!
I took my son out for dinner. It is rare that I have some time with him. I took him to my friend the Doctor (the one who introduced me to Mr. Porsche). And then we talked about school, working summer and then I brought up divorce. You need some nights away. Hmmmm....seems to be the house census. No sweetie, I am very unhappy. I need to make a real change. Nah, whose going to take care of my sisters, whose going to take me to sports. Interesting...the kid has all my fears down pat. The only thing that is keeping me here. So, is it that obvious that is what is holding me back. I bet the hubby knows it as well and that is his keeper chip. yeah, he's been using it.
So now I have told everyone I am unhappy, That i can't go on like this and they are telling me.....yeah, go on vacation. Well, now what?!?! I feel like I am gay and I have come out of the closet. And people are saying....Nah, your not. this is unbelievable.
I guess I need to get the insurance in place tomorrow and take care of the lien. Finishing making my calls and next week attempt again. My next step--give him a choice--- lawyer or mediator. He's obviously taking me somewhat serious,my brother in law called today. He only calls when the shit hits the fan. I ignored his call. I am in for some ride!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Slapping My Ass!
I met Mr. Porsche today. It felt like its been forever. While we are good friends,there is an awkwardness when we connect. I can't explain it exactly. I know I shouldn't compare but when I meet Mystery Man and he opens the door....we immediately are drawn together like magnets....its like a dance routine and we both know the steps. We flow. We become one. There is no act of getting into the bed or preparation.....we see each other and poof...it happens. we just rip each others clothes off and we are somehow in the bed eventually....lol
With mr. Porsche, we go to the bed. nothing wrong with it, just different. So we are naked and I gotta say, Mr. Porsche loves to make me cum and he loves to make watch me masturbate. Rough on my nipples yet it gets me so damn wet. He loves to nibble on them....suck on them.....totally pay attention to each one, missing not a centimeter. Today, he played with a vibrator and watched me play with my clit as he slipped it in and out of my pussy. Then he switched and put the bullet in my ass as fingered me. He has a sinister laugh and a deep voice that instructs me what to do. Its hot actually! Come on baby, let go. At one point, he had me sucking on my own nipples. He's hypnotizing in a way. After I came, and came hard...he thrusted inside of me deep. He has some serious girth there and i can feel him.
Now it was his turn. He loves to cum in my mouth and I love to let him because he gets so much enjoyment from it. Funny how two lovers can be so different. with MM, you do not touch his asshole and gently rub his balls. With Mr. Porsche, he loves when I put my finger in his ass and massage his gspot. He cums beyond belief. For him that is a wild orgasm. And so I do it....rubbing his balls hard and my finger on his gspot...and just as he is about to cum...my mouth cover his head to suck up all his juices....with a little dribble, I manage to use his cock as a lipstick...with it dripping off my lips. I can see that he is pleased. And that makes me happy.
Poor baby has been getting tension headaches. Good news, his headache was gone after he came. I decided to massage his body, he is like a pussycat and loves it. Yes, I do give good blowjobs and massages. My downfall is being on top. I can't get it. I don't know what it is and now I freeze when a guy wants me to do it. I suck at it. Their cock keeps falling out....so if anyone has any recommendations, I will take it. It's definitely me...I have problems with both Mm and mr. Porsche. I think my legs are too short or something. Anyway, any recommendations because I sooo badly want to be a good cowgirl rider and I am getting frustrated.
So back to the massage. Mr.Porsche is really hairy. I am convinced that he waxes some parts of his body. I mean his ass is soooooo smooth. I wish mine was that smooth. Like baby skin. anyway, I was rubbing his back and then his ass and I had this uncontrollable desire to smack his ass. Welllllllll, a control freak doesn't take well to surprises like that. His eyes were bugging out of his head. OOOOOOO!! was all he said. yeah, i was in trouble.
So I started to rub it again....giggling..making it all better...wasn't working. And then i said come on its a migilacutee. You know like in miniature golf...a freebie. He was saying that it was going to cost me 10 smacks. well, you know me...I am not 100% submissive...there is a rebel streak in me. The little bad girl..so out of no where I found myself wanting to smack him again...I mean what the fuck, he was going after me anyway. never in a million years did he think I would have the balls to smack him AGAIN. So the next one was even more of a shock and his eyes were bugging and I was giggling like crazy....trying to nibble on his ticklish ear.
He gave me the opportunity to masturbate and cum..if I could do it by the time he counted from 30 to 1...he would knock off 10 smacks. I was so close, but the pressure was getting to me. I was rubbing my clit like crazy but I couldn't cum....sooo...I was fucked. He threw me over his knee (I am strong but he is much stronger) and he gave me 20 smacks. I mean it burned. I was screaming and giggling and begging for him to stop. Let's just say, my ass hurt my whole ride home and its still a little tingly hours later. By 17, I finally apologized....OUCH!
We had fun. I have to stop being a PITA. I can't help it sometimes. When his phone rings...as soon as it rings...he loses his hard on. So, I tell him to get the phone because he worries who it is. well we were getting ready to get out of bed and his phone rang. He said I have to take this. And he started talking. Monday he told me a story about how he ran into his ex-girlfriends sister over the weekend and he gave her his number. Well this was his ex-girlfriend on the phone. Well in my book, that wasn't a needed a call. You are with your mistress and you take a call from an ex. Too strange for me. I went into the shower and when I came out he said that was a childhood friend I grew up with. He forgot he told me who it was...so now I am pissed. He didn't lie but he didn't tell the whole truth. Now I should have left it alone. I have no right to say anything. BUT, we know me.....I'm calling ya on it. 'well you see, I don't think an ex girlfriend is considered an i have to take it call. did you forget you told me she was your ex girlfriend not a childhood friend?' Aahh...he says. that explains the attitude change. Okay so when I get pissed, you can feel the cold current come in, I would suck at poker.
I dropped it. I didn't want to leave on a bad note and quite frankly, I didn't want to fight. Just get my point across, I'm not a dumb blonde baby. I have a great memory and I listen to you. I guess I was more hurt because we were in a serious conversation--I was talking about the insurance thing and I got interrupted. I wasn't going to share with him but I did.
Okay, it passed quickly, I didn't want to make it into a big deal and quite frankly we had work to do. switch hats....professional roles now. we actually went across to Starbucks to sit and have a meeting. we discussed the work and it was time to go. He wanted to pay for this software, i had agreed last week so he wrote me out a check. I can't charge him by the hour. He bought the software and I am appreciative because it helps me with my business. When I was driving home, I decided to make a deposit slip out. I called him on the phone. you know my ass hurts and i have to teach you how to listen to numbers. You seemed to write the check out for $500 too much. That's toward your hours and dont argue with me.
He's a good guy. Of course, I came home and immediately did his project for him. He is going to be shocked when he gets it tomorrow morning in his email. Part of me wants to be that submissive little girl with him. Another can't help but allow that fiesty woman to show her fight. It's such a weird internal conflict. I can't tell if he loves the challenge or I drive him crazy...oh well....I had a much needed fuck!
Off to bed...sweet wet dreams. i know I am going to sleep like a baby!!
With mr. Porsche, we go to the bed. nothing wrong with it, just different. So we are naked and I gotta say, Mr. Porsche loves to make me cum and he loves to make watch me masturbate. Rough on my nipples yet it gets me so damn wet. He loves to nibble on them....suck on them.....totally pay attention to each one, missing not a centimeter. Today, he played with a vibrator and watched me play with my clit as he slipped it in and out of my pussy. Then he switched and put the bullet in my ass as fingered me. He has a sinister laugh and a deep voice that instructs me what to do. Its hot actually! Come on baby, let go. At one point, he had me sucking on my own nipples. He's hypnotizing in a way. After I came, and came hard...he thrusted inside of me deep. He has some serious girth there and i can feel him.
Now it was his turn. He loves to cum in my mouth and I love to let him because he gets so much enjoyment from it. Funny how two lovers can be so different. with MM, you do not touch his asshole and gently rub his balls. With Mr. Porsche, he loves when I put my finger in his ass and massage his gspot. He cums beyond belief. For him that is a wild orgasm. And so I do it....rubbing his balls hard and my finger on his gspot...and just as he is about to cum...my mouth cover his head to suck up all his juices....with a little dribble, I manage to use his cock as a lipstick...with it dripping off my lips. I can see that he is pleased. And that makes me happy.
Poor baby has been getting tension headaches. Good news, his headache was gone after he came. I decided to massage his body, he is like a pussycat and loves it. Yes, I do give good blowjobs and massages. My downfall is being on top. I can't get it. I don't know what it is and now I freeze when a guy wants me to do it. I suck at it. Their cock keeps falling out....so if anyone has any recommendations, I will take it. It's definitely me...I have problems with both Mm and mr. Porsche. I think my legs are too short or something. Anyway, any recommendations because I sooo badly want to be a good cowgirl rider and I am getting frustrated.
So back to the massage. Mr.Porsche is really hairy. I am convinced that he waxes some parts of his body. I mean his ass is soooooo smooth. I wish mine was that smooth. Like baby skin. anyway, I was rubbing his back and then his ass and I had this uncontrollable desire to smack his ass. Welllllllll, a control freak doesn't take well to surprises like that. His eyes were bugging out of his head. OOOOOOO!! was all he said. yeah, i was in trouble.
So I started to rub it again....giggling..making it all better...wasn't working. And then i said come on its a migilacutee. You know like in miniature golf...a freebie. He was saying that it was going to cost me 10 smacks. well, you know me...I am not 100% submissive...there is a rebel streak in me. The little bad girl..so out of no where I found myself wanting to smack him again...I mean what the fuck, he was going after me anyway. never in a million years did he think I would have the balls to smack him AGAIN. So the next one was even more of a shock and his eyes were bugging and I was giggling like crazy....trying to nibble on his ticklish ear.
He gave me the opportunity to masturbate and cum..if I could do it by the time he counted from 30 to 1...he would knock off 10 smacks. I was so close, but the pressure was getting to me. I was rubbing my clit like crazy but I couldn't cum....sooo...I was fucked. He threw me over his knee (I am strong but he is much stronger) and he gave me 20 smacks. I mean it burned. I was screaming and giggling and begging for him to stop. Let's just say, my ass hurt my whole ride home and its still a little tingly hours later. By 17, I finally apologized....OUCH!
We had fun. I have to stop being a PITA. I can't help it sometimes. When his phone rings...as soon as it rings...he loses his hard on. So, I tell him to get the phone because he worries who it is. well we were getting ready to get out of bed and his phone rang. He said I have to take this. And he started talking. Monday he told me a story about how he ran into his ex-girlfriends sister over the weekend and he gave her his number. Well this was his ex-girlfriend on the phone. Well in my book, that wasn't a needed a call. You are with your mistress and you take a call from an ex. Too strange for me. I went into the shower and when I came out he said that was a childhood friend I grew up with. He forgot he told me who it was...so now I am pissed. He didn't lie but he didn't tell the whole truth. Now I should have left it alone. I have no right to say anything. BUT, we know me.....I'm calling ya on it. 'well you see, I don't think an ex girlfriend is considered an i have to take it call. did you forget you told me she was your ex girlfriend not a childhood friend?' Aahh...he says. that explains the attitude change. Okay so when I get pissed, you can feel the cold current come in, I would suck at poker.
I dropped it. I didn't want to leave on a bad note and quite frankly, I didn't want to fight. Just get my point across, I'm not a dumb blonde baby. I have a great memory and I listen to you. I guess I was more hurt because we were in a serious conversation--I was talking about the insurance thing and I got interrupted. I wasn't going to share with him but I did.
Okay, it passed quickly, I didn't want to make it into a big deal and quite frankly we had work to do. switch hats....professional roles now. we actually went across to Starbucks to sit and have a meeting. we discussed the work and it was time to go. He wanted to pay for this software, i had agreed last week so he wrote me out a check. I can't charge him by the hour. He bought the software and I am appreciative because it helps me with my business. When I was driving home, I decided to make a deposit slip out. I called him on the phone. you know my ass hurts and i have to teach you how to listen to numbers. You seemed to write the check out for $500 too much. That's toward your hours and dont argue with me.
He's a good guy. Of course, I came home and immediately did his project for him. He is going to be shocked when he gets it tomorrow morning in his email. Part of me wants to be that submissive little girl with him. Another can't help but allow that fiesty woman to show her fight. It's such a weird internal conflict. I can't tell if he loves the challenge or I drive him crazy...oh well....I had a much needed fuck!
Off to bed...sweet wet dreams. i know I am going to sleep like a baby!!
Ashley Madison Agency Change
As many of you know...I am a huge fan of Ashley Madison. I met most of my secret lovers there. I love that underground world....matching up with someone who is looking for the same thing...I still giggle when I think about how I found Ashley. Little did I know that day that my whole world would change. That a stupid website would bring me so much joy, sex and orgasms. And to think, my whole life I didn't even know I could orgasm...now I multiple.
I got sidetracked sorry! Anyway, for all of you who are members already and have signed up through my Ashley Madison link...you know I appreciate it. Yes, you have helped the Cheri Fucking Fund! In a dysfunctional way, my infidelity has saved my house ( putting my proceeds to the mortgage payment...it just made the difference one month). so look how versatile the Ashley site can be....I find amazing lovers, get fulfilled, get my brains fucked out AND it was exactly what I needed to make my mortgage. And you...find amazing lovers, get your brains fucked out AND you help the Cheri Fucking Fund....talk about a win/win situation. It's almost like a fairy tale story.... hehehehe
On a serious note, the program is changing slightly...so for all those who so kindly signed up through my website and blog....if you need additional credits...now is the time to purchase them and stock up. After April 13th, I no longer get credit for established Ashley members only new members and their first credit purchases.
And this concludes Cheri's Ashley Madison Fucking Fund Advertisment for the evening!! lol Hey, you see..I'm not just a dumb blonde with large nipples..
Sweet Wet Dreams!! I am so glad tomorrow is another day!!
I got sidetracked sorry! Anyway, for all of you who are members already and have signed up through my Ashley Madison link...you know I appreciate it. Yes, you have helped the Cheri Fucking Fund! In a dysfunctional way, my infidelity has saved my house ( putting my proceeds to the mortgage payment...it just made the difference one month). so look how versatile the Ashley site can be....I find amazing lovers, get fulfilled, get my brains fucked out AND it was exactly what I needed to make my mortgage. And you...find amazing lovers, get your brains fucked out AND you help the Cheri Fucking Fund....talk about a win/win situation. It's almost like a fairy tale story.... hehehehe
On a serious note, the program is changing slightly...so for all those who so kindly signed up through my website and blog....if you need additional credits...now is the time to purchase them and stock up. After April 13th, I no longer get credit for established Ashley members only new members and their first credit purchases.
And this concludes Cheri's Ashley Madison Fucking Fund Advertisment for the evening!! lol Hey, you see..I'm not just a dumb blonde with large nipples..
Sweet Wet Dreams!! I am so glad tomorrow is another day!!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Sucking Me Dry
Life is a rollercoaster. Well at least mine is. Mr. Porsche had to cancel today. Two weeks ago, he was gone. Last week his excursion to gamble...yes, I was feeling like a second thought. I don't react well to being a second thought. I admit it, I get bitchy and sarcastic. I was extremely difficult to deal with all day. With sly remarks on how I was charging him double for my work for the day. And yes, I busted his balls. Pick a day this week....I will work around your schedule. I am booked..and even if I pick a day, you'll become busy. Yes, I was acting like a baby.
By afternoon, I mellowed. I admitted to him that I was feeling like a second thought. He tried to appease me...you are my top thought throughout the day, you can even ask my cock. Trust me, I was not happy I couldn't see you. Mystery and keeping you on your feet is a good thing. Mystery, I said. More like you were almost history today....he laughed. Tomorrow, we will play it by ear. I want more than the ear play thing. I want a definite.
Things at home are getting ugly. The health insurance was cancelled. I found out as I was at the electric company trying to work out a deal with them that was after I finished doing the requirements to get my daughter on this program after a year. What is wrong with this picture? First, I never expected to be here at this point of my life. I deserve more. And, aren't I the one that is working, shouldnt he be hustling to figure out how to take care of all these disasters? Now I have to go back to my boss and talk health insurance. this really fucking sucks.
As he told me the insurance was cancelled and he started to go off on one of his tangents on how unfair the system is.....I had an internal eruption.....ENOUGH I screamed. I don't want to hear it anymore....I want you out. I want you out of my life. I don't want to go on like this. You have no job, you give me no money, you are a taker. You suck me dry. I have nothing left. His response...what do I take from you? Let's talk about this when I get home....UGH!!!!!!!!! He's clueless.
You know they say its the little things that send you over the final edge. He had my bank card. I went to get it and saw that he had all these gift cards from incentives from his last jobs. Let's see. He never shared one of them with me. Not one...yet, he takes every penny I make.
Tomorrow, I have a lien on the title to fix, the insurance to handle and then quite frankly....I think I have reached the finale. I,single handedly, fixed as many issues as I could these last six months. I did pretty good. So now what....
I want my freedom. I want fulfillment. I want happiness. I want excitement. I want a man to come to my house, share a glass of wine and make dinner for him. I want the giggles. Single man? Hmmmm...I don't think so. I like the non committment and not running to settle in again. I want to date and date and date. I want FREEDOM and amazing sex! I want to be spoiled. Just for a little bit.....I want a man to look at me with that desire in his eyes....
Do I have that already? I do...in my Secret Lovers Lane. So what is different? I want my secret life to become my reality...I want my two worlds to merge! That's it. I guess I don't want to live two lives anymore. I prefer the new, experimental me....its time for her to surface .She lives in the dark, she lives in this blog. She hides behind that sweet mom who works hard and does all the right things. Wow, I never thought about it like that...my babbling tonight made it so much clearer.
By afternoon, I mellowed. I admitted to him that I was feeling like a second thought. He tried to appease me...you are my top thought throughout the day, you can even ask my cock. Trust me, I was not happy I couldn't see you. Mystery and keeping you on your feet is a good thing. Mystery, I said. More like you were almost history today....he laughed. Tomorrow, we will play it by ear. I want more than the ear play thing. I want a definite.
Things at home are getting ugly. The health insurance was cancelled. I found out as I was at the electric company trying to work out a deal with them that was after I finished doing the requirements to get my daughter on this program after a year. What is wrong with this picture? First, I never expected to be here at this point of my life. I deserve more. And, aren't I the one that is working, shouldnt he be hustling to figure out how to take care of all these disasters? Now I have to go back to my boss and talk health insurance. this really fucking sucks.
As he told me the insurance was cancelled and he started to go off on one of his tangents on how unfair the system is.....I had an internal eruption.....ENOUGH I screamed. I don't want to hear it anymore....I want you out. I want you out of my life. I don't want to go on like this. You have no job, you give me no money, you are a taker. You suck me dry. I have nothing left. His response...what do I take from you? Let's talk about this when I get home....UGH!!!!!!!!! He's clueless.
You know they say its the little things that send you over the final edge. He had my bank card. I went to get it and saw that he had all these gift cards from incentives from his last jobs. Let's see. He never shared one of them with me. Not one...yet, he takes every penny I make.
Tomorrow, I have a lien on the title to fix, the insurance to handle and then quite frankly....I think I have reached the finale. I,single handedly, fixed as many issues as I could these last six months. I did pretty good. So now what....
I want my freedom. I want fulfillment. I want happiness. I want excitement. I want a man to come to my house, share a glass of wine and make dinner for him. I want the giggles. Single man? Hmmmm...I don't think so. I like the non committment and not running to settle in again. I want to date and date and date. I want FREEDOM and amazing sex! I want to be spoiled. Just for a little bit.....I want a man to look at me with that desire in his eyes....
Do I have that already? I do...in my Secret Lovers Lane. So what is different? I want my secret life to become my reality...I want my two worlds to merge! That's it. I guess I don't want to live two lives anymore. I prefer the new, experimental me....its time for her to surface .She lives in the dark, she lives in this blog. She hides behind that sweet mom who works hard and does all the right things. Wow, I never thought about it like that...my babbling tonight made it so much clearer.
Free From All The Pain
I can't even put into words tonight.....what is going on inside of me.
So content in one part of my life....two lovers who give so much to me. Each fulfilling a part of me so separate yet making me so complete. Daily, they have both been so giving. Mr. Porsche so suportive and giving of his heart and soul. And Mystery Man.....afraid I am to be pulled in but he has. Sending me notes and making me giggle....for two months, it has been amazing. And my career going well...
So....why the depression? I can' t take the drama anymore. I try, I try to stick with it. I try to hold on but I can't do it anymore . I can't. It's like having someone working against you....the health insurance was cancelled I spent the day trying to put things together. Working out everything to get things together. Calling agencies, calling places, calling people. And no matter how much I try to dig out....he dumps more on me. Two steps ahead and three back. "Didn't get the job and the insurance was cancelled. Oh and if you don't pay the car, they are going to take it".
So.....I paid the car, I called to try and figure out how to get insurance...pulling out all my contacts....picking up paperwork he never took care of.
Most people recommend trying to work your marriage out. ISn't that what friends and family are suppose to say. Well no one tells me that. At the pediatricians office, I've known the women for 16 years. She knows the hubby too because if its nothing serious, he takes them over. She looked at me today and said...I see how he is...its time.
I'm not a quitter. I never quit anything in my life. But I can't. I am sinking and sinking deeper and deeper...clawing my way out. Trying and trying...I'm
sorry...the tears are flowing tonight...so tired....
Sometimes words don't get across what you feel....but music can...so here are words that say it all....Listen to the words of the two songs....and the extreme skydiving...well that's how I feel when I think of making the move....sigh....I am going to sleep on the couch. I can't even look at him right now.
"That that Don't Kill Me
Can Only Make Me Stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Because I can't wait much longer..."
I know I got to be right now
Because I can't get much stronger!"
So content in one part of my life....two lovers who give so much to me. Each fulfilling a part of me so separate yet making me so complete. Daily, they have both been so giving. Mr. Porsche so suportive and giving of his heart and soul. And Mystery Man.....afraid I am to be pulled in but he has. Sending me notes and making me giggle....for two months, it has been amazing. And my career going well...
So....why the depression? I can' t take the drama anymore. I try, I try to stick with it. I try to hold on but I can't do it anymore . I can't. It's like having someone working against you....the health insurance was cancelled I spent the day trying to put things together. Working out everything to get things together. Calling agencies, calling places, calling people. And no matter how much I try to dig out....he dumps more on me. Two steps ahead and three back. "Didn't get the job and the insurance was cancelled. Oh and if you don't pay the car, they are going to take it".
So.....I paid the car, I called to try and figure out how to get insurance...pulling out all my contacts....picking up paperwork he never took care of.
Most people recommend trying to work your marriage out. ISn't that what friends and family are suppose to say. Well no one tells me that. At the pediatricians office, I've known the women for 16 years. She knows the hubby too because if its nothing serious, he takes them over. She looked at me today and said...I see how he is...its time.
I'm not a quitter. I never quit anything in my life. But I can't. I am sinking and sinking deeper and deeper...clawing my way out. Trying and trying...I'm
sorry...the tears are flowing tonight...so tired....
Sometimes words don't get across what you feel....but music can...so here are words that say it all....Listen to the words of the two songs....and the extreme skydiving...well that's how I feel when I think of making the move....sigh....I am going to sleep on the couch. I can't even look at him right now.
"That that Don't Kill Me
Can Only Make Me Stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Because I can't wait much longer..."
I know I got to be right now
Because I can't get much stronger!"
Sunday, April 06, 2008
MY Husband's OTHER Woman
Cleaning. I am on a cleaning craze. Yes, I am determined to get this house in order. When the nice weather comes, I want to be able to do a great garden outside. I love planting and flowers. Actually my dandelions are up and so are the crocus'....a smile always comes to my face as I see them.
So what does that have to do with my husband's other woman? I have been asking for two years for him to clean up this room that he has dumped his crap in. Its disgusting...his office (but he's working (sending resumes) in mine because his is too much of a mess).
Well our old tax stuff is in there. I need to get everything together so I started to go through the drawers. Tonight is garbage...the desk is out I told him. I've had it. So, I started to look through his papers to pull out house stuff. In the bottom drawer, was a bag. I went to move it and it like floated. Like something gooey...what the fuck is this?
I opened it up and inside was KGel and a pussy was staring back at me. I jumped back in shock. So this is what he does in his spare time. I have found the other woman! Yes...she was in my house all along! Grossed out 
at the visual...and feeling a twinge of guilt...however...after his escapades last night - I just giggled...Geez was all I could say. Quite honestly, I would recommend that he get the one with the handle...looks like it would be a lot easier to manipulate...this one reminds me of a kids toy...oh geez. sO what 
happened last night?
at the visual...and feeling a twinge of guilt...however...after his escapades last night - I just giggled...Geez was all I could say. Quite honestly, I would recommend that he get the one with the handle...looks like it would be a lot easier to manipulate...this one reminds me of a kids toy...oh geez. sO what 
happened last night?You see I woke up in the middle of the night to his hands in my crotch rubbing it. I rolled over, leave me the fuck alone I said. And pretended that I couldn't exactly remember what when on this morning just that he woke me up. That to me is a violation. I mean quite frankly I was in a coma. A serious coma.....I was like fucking a dead person truthfully. At night, I am so tired from working that I literally go into deep, deep coma states. So I am grossed out that he does this to me while I am sleeping. How often does he do this to me? EEEWWWWWWWW!!
So another sign that I need to get the ball rolling. When you feel violated and repulsed like that, it is time to move on. So now, I will pretend I didn't find the other woman. I will let him clean the drawer out by himself when he returns. I never go in his personal stuff. Unlike him who goes through all my stuff. I feel people have a right to a little privacy....I would have thought it would have been somewhere else, not this desk drawer.
Truly, it's time for both of us to move on. If he would just find a damn job already. I can't just throw him out on the street. So the big question, is $25,000 and struggling to take care of the kids and meet the bills worth it? The answer is Yes. It would be better for both of us. I just fear telling him but I am avoiding the inevitable.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
It just doesn't end. Not even a day of peace. The lien search came in. Two liens on his name. But even worse, in the mail came a letter that we have no health insurance. Two kids had been in the hospital last month. The didn't tell us there was an increase (or he did and didn't read it). So right now, I don't think I have insurance. Could have brought it up yesterday if I knew.
He has like this black cloud over him. And I am standing under it. I could deal with the liens but the health insurance. I think I need to crawl in a hole....funny how the feeling of being so high can so easily crash down.
Does it ever stop?
He has like this black cloud over him. And I am standing under it. I could deal with the liens but the health insurance. I think I need to crawl in a hole....funny how the feeling of being so high can so easily crash down.
Does it ever stop?
Friday, April 04, 2008
YES! IT Worked!!! Woo Hoo!
I did it! I feel like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders. I presented my case to my boss. I was realistic. The salary I deserve (based upon my experience) is above what they can pay. Working full time and extra hours has been killing me. So I presented my case. And asked for 3 days. After we talked about it, he said give me 3 1/2 days and its a deal. Whew! But more importantly (well just as importantly) he told me what an asset I was to his company. How my work has made the world of difference AND that I was a good person with good character, good work ethics and a really good heart.
That meant a lot. To feel appreciated makes the world of difference. And I feel amazing. Worked like crazy for the rest of the day. And he was blown away at some things I showed him that I was working on. I left feeling like I was on Cloud 9. Technically I didn't walk away with a penny more. but I did in time. So next Friday I am taking the day off with no responsibility Woo Hoo!!!!!! I haven't had one day not thinking of work....I told hubby I might not have a job when I returned today. His reaction....your talented at what you do. People want you, companies want you..you will find something right away. First time he said something positive about me and I felt bad because that is obviously not his situation. BUT I decided not to tell him that i got my hours cut. Truth is, I still have other clients and I have to work on their stuff. so I am still working a 48 work week. If I told him that I had Fridays off....forget it. He would never be around so......I decided not to tell him. He doesn't need to know.
Called Mr. Porsche right away. He was proud of me. He has been so supportive. I think I am jealous though..that's the problem. I havent seen him in so long....I miss him. I don't think he misses me. He's so damn busy and a massage and gambling came before me. Hurts but I have nothing to say about it. It is what it is. He likes his toys and he likes to play hard. Next week, he will hopefully make it up to me.
.
Well I am off to bed...early for a change. Tomorrow is a big day...its Saturday..cleaning day..lol
Thanks for all your support!!!! MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
That meant a lot. To feel appreciated makes the world of difference. And I feel amazing. Worked like crazy for the rest of the day. And he was blown away at some things I showed him that I was working on. I left feeling like I was on Cloud 9. Technically I didn't walk away with a penny more. but I did in time. So next Friday I am taking the day off with no responsibility Woo Hoo!!!!!! I haven't had one day not thinking of work....I told hubby I might not have a job when I returned today. His reaction....your talented at what you do. People want you, companies want you..you will find something right away. First time he said something positive about me and I felt bad because that is obviously not his situation. BUT I decided not to tell him that i got my hours cut. Truth is, I still have other clients and I have to work on their stuff. so I am still working a 48 work week. If I told him that I had Fridays off....forget it. He would never be around so......I decided not to tell him. He doesn't need to know.
Called Mr. Porsche right away. He was proud of me. He has been so supportive. I think I am jealous though..that's the problem. I havent seen him in so long....I miss him. I don't think he misses me. He's so damn busy and a massage and gambling came before me. Hurts but I have nothing to say about it. It is what it is. He likes his toys and he likes to play hard. Next week, he will hopefully make it up to me.
.
Well I am off to bed...early for a change. Tomorrow is a big day...its Saturday..cleaning day..lol
Thanks for all your support!!!! MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Big Day.....Career Wise
Well today is the day, I think. For over a year, I should have gone to my boss and re-adjust my salary. You see, I was hired to do one thing and then took on a whole separate job. I have done a great job but unforunately the industry has really gotten competitive. Much more competitive than when I first started. so we are holding our own but my boss may not take that into consideration.
I know he isn't going to be able to pay me more so I am asking for a reduction in hours at the rate. Giving me the opportunity to take on more clients (or at least stop working to all ungodly hours as I keep adding on more and more). Is it unreasonable? I am petrified. If he says no..let's just cut your hours, no raise. I am screwed big time. Angers me more and more that because of my husbands situation, I certainly have less confidence in what I deserve because of what I need.
Well, its got to be done. I can't expect to take care of my family if I can't afford to support myself. I need to work backwards....what do I need to survive? First, I need my boss to agree to a 3 day work week. Then I need to go the the other boss I freelance for and have him to agree to re-adjust my hours and pay. He will be tougher..but I do so much more for him.
So wish me luck. He either agrees (he may try to negotiate 4 days) or he can say...cutting your hours is a good idea and I am not giving you a 70% raise...lol Geez.....
I know he isn't going to be able to pay me more so I am asking for a reduction in hours at the rate. Giving me the opportunity to take on more clients (or at least stop working to all ungodly hours as I keep adding on more and more). Is it unreasonable? I am petrified. If he says no..let's just cut your hours, no raise. I am screwed big time. Angers me more and more that because of my husbands situation, I certainly have less confidence in what I deserve because of what I need.
Well, its got to be done. I can't expect to take care of my family if I can't afford to support myself. I need to work backwards....what do I need to survive? First, I need my boss to agree to a 3 day work week. Then I need to go the the other boss I freelance for and have him to agree to re-adjust my hours and pay. He will be tougher..but I do so much more for him.
So wish me luck. He either agrees (he may try to negotiate 4 days) or he can say...cutting your hours is a good idea and I am not giving you a 70% raise...lol Geez.....
Thursday, April 03, 2008
The Last Girl Picked
Crap! I slipped today....I always tell Mr. Porsche about my blog. I always just say blog. Today I was explaining about the Ashley Madison affiliate program and I said Secret Lovers Lane. And he said..what did you say? Lovers Lane?
I just ignored it and continued talking. Last thing I want is him finding my blog. Oh that will not go over too well. I don't want him in my head...he already knows me too well. If he's in my blog, he will know everything. funny how you can want someone to know you but not TOTALLY know you. Mr. Prize wrote me an IM saying he read my blog. That was great! I love when he reads it, feel like he is getting an update on what is going on. However, I dont want a present lover to read my blog....too revealing. Both know I write it..neither reads it..or so they say.
Me? I would search google and yahoo until I found it! And I wouldn't let the person know I found it. That is bad, but I know me. Truth is, no good can come from them reading my inner thoughts.
Mr. Porsche was running around so busy this week. I didn't get to see him last week because he was out of town. this week, I had my period but I wanted to see him....but I didn't want to press it, I mean he was sooo busy. I called him and he said he would call me back in 10 minutes. Five hours passed and no call. Six hours...I worried. So I called. He answered.
Everything ok? Yeah, he said. Just really busy. Oh ok, I will wait for your call. No..I can talk now he said. Well I said I would wait for your call so I will wait (and I hung up). Ok,I was being a smart ass. He waited 4 minutes...realized I wasn't going to call back and he called me back. HI HOw was your day? he started to laugh.
Tonight, he was being so supportive. I had a problem with work and we discussed it. I love that I can rely on him for advice like that. then he says....I will have to speak with you before 10 tomorrow. I expected him to say that he had some major business meetings...but no. He was going away with a buddy gambling. hmmm...SILENCE. I was shocked and hurt. My face was blank and then I pouted for a second. Ironically, it was as if he had a camera. I know your face is blank right now. And now you are pouting. Am I that predictable? I guess I am. I was speechless. I didn't say anything.
I have no right to say anything but I did feel like crap. He was away the entire week playing last week and I never pushed seeing him this week because I felt like he had too much to do. The silence must have spoken volumnes.....when he finally said (giggling) Your worst than my wife! UGGGGGGHHHHH!! The dagger....he slammed the dagger right through my heart. I was shocked and pouty before (not bad, just quiet) but now I was livid.
All these things came to my mind to say but I knew i was going to regret whatever came out. None was attractive and none I really meant. So I sat quietly and my insides began to rip out. Okay, have a good time. talk soon. Was all I could say and I hung up. I think he might have still been talking...I don't know. I needed to get off.
Over reacting? Yeah. But I was taken by surprise. Nothing is worse than feeling like the last kid picked at school for a team. remember years ago where they would pick a team captain and then start to choose kids for the team. The best were picked and then there were the last few...that as they said their name, it was as if they were being forced to take them. The least of the worst. That's how I felt tonight. And I wasn't even picked to play. The last kid on the field. What a sucky feeling. I never had it in school but now I know how those girls felt.
I just ignored it and continued talking. Last thing I want is him finding my blog. Oh that will not go over too well. I don't want him in my head...he already knows me too well. If he's in my blog, he will know everything. funny how you can want someone to know you but not TOTALLY know you. Mr. Prize wrote me an IM saying he read my blog. That was great! I love when he reads it, feel like he is getting an update on what is going on. However, I dont want a present lover to read my blog....too revealing. Both know I write it..neither reads it..or so they say.
Me? I would search google and yahoo until I found it! And I wouldn't let the person know I found it. That is bad, but I know me. Truth is, no good can come from them reading my inner thoughts.
Mr. Porsche was running around so busy this week. I didn't get to see him last week because he was out of town. this week, I had my period but I wanted to see him....but I didn't want to press it, I mean he was sooo busy. I called him and he said he would call me back in 10 minutes. Five hours passed and no call. Six hours...I worried. So I called. He answered.
Everything ok? Yeah, he said. Just really busy. Oh ok, I will wait for your call. No..I can talk now he said. Well I said I would wait for your call so I will wait (and I hung up). Ok,I was being a smart ass. He waited 4 minutes...realized I wasn't going to call back and he called me back. HI HOw was your day? he started to laugh.
Tonight, he was being so supportive. I had a problem with work and we discussed it. I love that I can rely on him for advice like that. then he says....I will have to speak with you before 10 tomorrow. I expected him to say that he had some major business meetings...but no. He was going away with a buddy gambling. hmmm...SILENCE. I was shocked and hurt. My face was blank and then I pouted for a second. Ironically, it was as if he had a camera. I know your face is blank right now. And now you are pouting. Am I that predictable? I guess I am. I was speechless. I didn't say anything.
I have no right to say anything but I did feel like crap. He was away the entire week playing last week and I never pushed seeing him this week because I felt like he had too much to do. The silence must have spoken volumnes.....when he finally said (giggling) Your worst than my wife! UGGGGGGHHHHH!! The dagger....he slammed the dagger right through my heart. I was shocked and pouty before (not bad, just quiet) but now I was livid.
All these things came to my mind to say but I knew i was going to regret whatever came out. None was attractive and none I really meant. So I sat quietly and my insides began to rip out. Okay, have a good time. talk soon. Was all I could say and I hung up. I think he might have still been talking...I don't know. I needed to get off.
Over reacting? Yeah. But I was taken by surprise. Nothing is worse than feeling like the last kid picked at school for a team. remember years ago where they would pick a team captain and then start to choose kids for the team. The best were picked and then there were the last few...that as they said their name, it was as if they were being forced to take them. The least of the worst. That's how I felt tonight. And I wasn't even picked to play. The last kid on the field. What a sucky feeling. I never had it in school but now I know how those girls felt.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Can you find this in my blog?
Does anyone find this time of year depressing? It's like I am waiting for the Spring and it is not just here. Usually I get like this in February..for some reason its rolling into April. This sucks...
I am just overwhelmed I think. I need to take a step back. I need to re-work my job situation. Here's the deal...I am being taken advantage of.....plan and simple. Not being paid for the time I put in at one Doctor's office. I need to turn that around immediately.
Re-adjust my hours....without a doubt. Here's a crazy story.....yesterday this upper end cleaning service came into my house to give an estimate. I told my friend it was ridiculous..they would want a lot because of the size of my house AND because it is a disaster these days. Hubby doesn't help and I am working so many hours. There is just things that need to be put away. Quite frankly, the house is clean (I scrub the floors weekly, dust etc) BUT there are things (damn husband collects everything) EVERYWHERE!!
How much did they want? $3500....lol can you imagine......they count rooms....I have little rooms but I guess a lot of them....14 rooms....lmao.....at $200 a room...lmao......and then windows are carpets are separate....lmao......after the first cleaning they will do a weekly for $200. So, figuring it out....I could take a month off of work.....that's what the cost would be. A month's salary from my main client. How totally ridiculous is that?? For the first time ever, hubby loaded the new working dishwasher.....and wiped down the counters. I was laughing so damn hard.
Well now I have a challenge for ya.....as you know, I don't read my entries into the blog. It's my diary so I dump what I am feeling into it....a release....BUT, it is coming up to my one year with Mystery Man, I wanted to make it something special. BUT I couldn't get back into my blog to April 2007. So can someone find me the date? When did Mystery Man and I first have sex and meet? When was our first correspondence? Correspondence was in March.....meeting in April (he remembered that...lol)
And then Mr. Porsche. I wasn't such a slut with him. We met and even had some lunches first. Actually slept with him in November 2007. I am looking for the date we first met. In September or October I think...hmmmm....
Well if you find it...let me know... its going to be a lonely 10 days here. Mystery Man is traveling a lot on business (sent me a note today to let me know--I knew it was coming up,not sure when) and Mr. Porsche is swamped. He's been difficult the last few days...cranky as all hell. Last night I said.....OKAY, you have my number..call me when you feel like talking to me..
This morning he sent me an email with a note with some advocacy stuff he found for me online. Then he called me and apologized....I've been an dick,I'm sorry...just under a lot of pressure. My response..no need to apologize baby, my job is to help you escape so when it gets to be too much, let's escape together. We are better now. Funny, I backed off and he felt it immediately..
Okay back to work. I am having one of those anxiety things again today. Everything piling up, I don't know which way to turn. I end up freezing and going into overload. I am planning to take two days...as soon as the weather gets warimer. And go to a hotel by the beach. Do nothing but think....no phones, no contact with anyone.....just try to organize my life by the water. I always find the ocean waves to be calming for me...so endless and unpredictable. But it gives me a good sense of calmness.....an opportunity to look into the future and plan.
I am just overwhelmed I think. I need to take a step back. I need to re-work my job situation. Here's the deal...I am being taken advantage of.....plan and simple. Not being paid for the time I put in at one Doctor's office. I need to turn that around immediately.
Re-adjust my hours....without a doubt. Here's a crazy story.....yesterday this upper end cleaning service came into my house to give an estimate. I told my friend it was ridiculous..they would want a lot because of the size of my house AND because it is a disaster these days. Hubby doesn't help and I am working so many hours. There is just things that need to be put away. Quite frankly, the house is clean (I scrub the floors weekly, dust etc) BUT there are things (damn husband collects everything) EVERYWHERE!!
How much did they want? $3500....lol can you imagine......they count rooms....I have little rooms but I guess a lot of them....14 rooms....lmao.....at $200 a room...lmao......and then windows are carpets are separate....lmao......after the first cleaning they will do a weekly for $200. So, figuring it out....I could take a month off of work.....that's what the cost would be. A month's salary from my main client. How totally ridiculous is that?? For the first time ever, hubby loaded the new working dishwasher.....and wiped down the counters. I was laughing so damn hard.
Well now I have a challenge for ya.....as you know, I don't read my entries into the blog. It's my diary so I dump what I am feeling into it....a release....BUT, it is coming up to my one year with Mystery Man, I wanted to make it something special. BUT I couldn't get back into my blog to April 2007. So can someone find me the date? When did Mystery Man and I first have sex and meet? When was our first correspondence? Correspondence was in March.....meeting in April (he remembered that...lol)
And then Mr. Porsche. I wasn't such a slut with him. We met and even had some lunches first. Actually slept with him in November 2007. I am looking for the date we first met. In September or October I think...hmmmm....
Well if you find it...let me know... its going to be a lonely 10 days here. Mystery Man is traveling a lot on business (sent me a note today to let me know--I knew it was coming up,not sure when) and Mr. Porsche is swamped. He's been difficult the last few days...cranky as all hell. Last night I said.....OKAY, you have my number..call me when you feel like talking to me..
This morning he sent me an email with a note with some advocacy stuff he found for me online. Then he called me and apologized....I've been an dick,I'm sorry...just under a lot of pressure. My response..no need to apologize baby, my job is to help you escape so when it gets to be too much, let's escape together. We are better now. Funny, I backed off and he felt it immediately..
Okay back to work. I am having one of those anxiety things again today. Everything piling up, I don't know which way to turn. I end up freezing and going into overload. I am planning to take two days...as soon as the weather gets warimer. And go to a hotel by the beach. Do nothing but think....no phones, no contact with anyone.....just try to organize my life by the water. I always find the ocean waves to be calming for me...so endless and unpredictable. But it gives me a good sense of calmness.....an opportunity to look into the future and plan.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A Major Leap
Yes, that's it...it's a major leap. It's not baby steps, its not a hurdle on a track or a horse...its like the leap they take in the movies from one building to the other....Yes, I would be much happier if I were not with him. I mean here's an example...I cleaned, made dinner, did all the dishes and he was going to give the kids baths. He chose to give one a bath. The other is harder. Hmmmmm....the anger inside of me is exploding.
I don't hate him as a person. Actually, he's not a bad person. But I do realize that even if we didn't have these financial issues....I still wouldn't love him. Too much has happened. I would want to be friends. Is that possible?
It's different now. Before I was miserable, desperate, almost suicidal. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I am petrified but I feel alive. Petrified because I don't see a set salary. So that scares me. Should I change jobs? I am thinking about it....at least look...so I can get a little security.
But this past two weeks....has been a great feeling. It's going to sound lame to you but all my bills were paid (ok not off, but payments were made) and I was able to go and buy something for each of my kids. It felt amazing!
Saying that sounds ridiculous in some ways because people on the outside world would never know. I mean I have a beautiful house, ok cars, live in a middle to upper class neighborhood. I work for some of the richest professionals in the area, eat at the most expensive places (business dinners)....yet I suffer internally.
So I sit here and as I am writing this I think...what would it feel like to be on my own? It would
be tough but in other ways it would be amazing. My soul is yearning for the freedom. Would there be a Screwperman there if I needed him to save me as I fell?
Okay, another week. Settle down....a new month is approaching. I need to concentrate, I need to focus...I need to keep on track. I want to give you a little warning....its that time of the month. Yes, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man are not going to be happy boys BUT think of the alternative....I know what each will think....ahhhh, her mouth still works!!! LOL
Sweet Wet Dreams!!!
I don't hate him as a person. Actually, he's not a bad person. But I do realize that even if we didn't have these financial issues....I still wouldn't love him. Too much has happened. I would want to be friends. Is that possible?
It's different now. Before I was miserable, desperate, almost suicidal. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I am petrified but I feel alive. Petrified because I don't see a set salary. So that scares me. Should I change jobs? I am thinking about it....at least look...so I can get a little security.
But this past two weeks....has been a great feeling. It's going to sound lame to you but all my bills were paid (ok not off, but payments were made) and I was able to go and buy something for each of my kids. It felt amazing!Saying that sounds ridiculous in some ways because people on the outside world would never know. I mean I have a beautiful house, ok cars, live in a middle to upper class neighborhood. I work for some of the richest professionals in the area, eat at the most expensive places (business dinners)....yet I suffer internally.
So I sit here and as I am writing this I think...what would it feel like to be on my own? It would
be tough but in other ways it would be amazing. My soul is yearning for the freedom. Would there be a Screwperman there if I needed him to save me as I fell?Okay, another week. Settle down....a new month is approaching. I need to concentrate, I need to focus...I need to keep on track. I want to give you a little warning....its that time of the month. Yes, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man are not going to be happy boys BUT think of the alternative....I know what each will think....ahhhh, her mouth still works!!! LOL
Sweet Wet Dreams!!!
Crazy Life, Will I Be Able to Do It?
Yes, a totally nonsexual post here...a mental release!
My week was one of those weeks that you want to pack up and start over. From a business perspective....a client who I give more hours than he pays for....blamed me for a failed holiday giving. I was so caught off guard that he literally held me accountable (it was his idea now that I look back). I wasn't expecting his response to be so brutal. Day 1..I was crying and felt like a wounded puppy. Today, I am angry. First, you send for a thank you and you should never expect anything. That's what a thank you is...secondly. his office refuses to track leads...so how does he know? I am actually going to send him an email today and outline what he needs his office to do. Damn, I am mad at myself. He has a way of blindsiding someone and you feel like a failure...until you realize....hey, you didn't hold up your end of the deal!!!
Mr. Porsche was away and he called. I adore him. I really do. He is supportive, he is sweet...he is caring....I love that. I feel a little guilt with Mystery Man being there but they are truly opposite ends of the spectrum in my life.
Okay back to my week. I am so proud of myself..Wrote down literally 25 things that I haven't taken care of.....and I did or started most. Had a plumber come in, appliance guy in, saw a little damn mouse and decided to call an exterminator in to avoid it being a regular problem in my life. So that was $1500 on problems but got everything that has been irritating me taken care of. No more washing dishes and having to turn the water on and off everytime I needed it under the sink. Stupid? Yeah....
I want to choke hubby. Do you have money for me? Not a penny. His theory is that he took care of the family for all the years before and now I am holding it together. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? I can't even begin to tell you the disasters that he did over the years. I ran our business. Oh he went in there daily BUT the staff called me if there was any problems at all or negotiating needed or advice. Yes, while I was taking caring care of very sick children, I juggled the business. I'm not crazy, we shared the office with friends..when I told her this yesterday...she said...is he delusional?
I know he is putting money away. He is working that side job with his friend and he manages to have money for food... BUT here is my outlook.
The five year plan has been moved up to four years. I have gotten the finances as best that I can under control. This week, I paid off a lot of shit with a client's check I was waiting for. Have a lawyer checking into something with the house title. Need to get that straightened...getting all the ducks in a row...
Only a few steps left right now....build my company and start to promote it so I can have enough work to survive,straighten out the house deed and somehow get the kids to sleep through the night (that is the killer). I'm almost there. Almost there. And when I am there...will I have the balls to ask him for the divorce? I'm scared but I want it. If I don't, I think he will kill me (not physically but internally it is eating my insides out)!
Okay, quick update.....sorry....no sex the end of this week. Oh wait....I do have an email from Mystery Man discussing his flashbacks from our rendezvous! I told him I had a horrendous day and I wish we were celebrating his great quarter he had. His response...well here it is...he makes me drip!!!
Sorry your day was horrendous, hopefully you were able to flashback to when my cock was sliding deep inside you, as your legs were over my shoulders and the base of my throbbing tool was pressing up against your swollen stiff clit releasing your tension and causing you to orgasm with a flash flood of juicy goodness. Maybe you were able to imagine laying on your back with your head hanging over the edge of the bed upside down as I grabbed your head with both hands and guided my rock hard flesh flute so deep down your throat that it hit your tonsils like they were bowling pins....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Ceeeeeeleeeeeebrate good times COME ON!!!!!
My week was one of those weeks that you want to pack up and start over. From a business perspective....a client who I give more hours than he pays for....blamed me for a failed holiday giving. I was so caught off guard that he literally held me accountable (it was his idea now that I look back). I wasn't expecting his response to be so brutal. Day 1..I was crying and felt like a wounded puppy. Today, I am angry. First, you send for a thank you and you should never expect anything. That's what a thank you is...secondly. his office refuses to track leads...so how does he know? I am actually going to send him an email today and outline what he needs his office to do. Damn, I am mad at myself. He has a way of blindsiding someone and you feel like a failure...until you realize....hey, you didn't hold up your end of the deal!!!
Mr. Porsche was away and he called. I adore him. I really do. He is supportive, he is sweet...he is caring....I love that. I feel a little guilt with Mystery Man being there but they are truly opposite ends of the spectrum in my life.
Okay back to my week. I am so proud of myself..Wrote down literally 25 things that I haven't taken care of.....and I did or started most. Had a plumber come in, appliance guy in, saw a little damn mouse and decided to call an exterminator in to avoid it being a regular problem in my life. So that was $1500 on problems but got everything that has been irritating me taken care of. No more washing dishes and having to turn the water on and off everytime I needed it under the sink. Stupid? Yeah....
I want to choke hubby. Do you have money for me? Not a penny. His theory is that he took care of the family for all the years before and now I am holding it together. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? I can't even begin to tell you the disasters that he did over the years. I ran our business. Oh he went in there daily BUT the staff called me if there was any problems at all or negotiating needed or advice. Yes, while I was taking caring care of very sick children, I juggled the business. I'm not crazy, we shared the office with friends..when I told her this yesterday...she said...is he delusional?
I know he is putting money away. He is working that side job with his friend and he manages to have money for food... BUT here is my outlook.
The five year plan has been moved up to four years. I have gotten the finances as best that I can under control. This week, I paid off a lot of shit with a client's check I was waiting for. Have a lawyer checking into something with the house title. Need to get that straightened...getting all the ducks in a row...
Only a few steps left right now....build my company and start to promote it so I can have enough work to survive,straighten out the house deed and somehow get the kids to sleep through the night (that is the killer). I'm almost there. Almost there. And when I am there...will I have the balls to ask him for the divorce? I'm scared but I want it. If I don't, I think he will kill me (not physically but internally it is eating my insides out)!
Okay, quick update.....sorry....no sex the end of this week. Oh wait....I do have an email from Mystery Man discussing his flashbacks from our rendezvous! I told him I had a horrendous day and I wish we were celebrating his great quarter he had. His response...well here it is...he makes me drip!!!
Sorry your day was horrendous, hopefully you were able to flashback to when my cock was sliding deep inside you, as your legs were over my shoulders and the base of my throbbing tool was pressing up against your swollen stiff clit releasing your tension and causing you to orgasm with a flash flood of juicy goodness. Maybe you were able to imagine laying on your back with your head hanging over the edge of the bed upside down as I grabbed your head with both hands and guided my rock hard flesh flute so deep down your throat that it hit your tonsils like they were bowling pins....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Ceeeeeeleeeeeebrate good times COME ON!!!!!
Friday, March 28, 2008
3 Hours of Paradise
I just realized...I never wrote about my meeting with Mystery Man this week. Wow, it seems so long ago....it seems like it was weeks ago...and it was just this week.
Our meetings have been different lately...filled with sex and sex but also tons of giggling and joking around. We both have a awarped sense of humor. And giggling is an understatement. I mean this week i was laughing so hard that I was gasping for air....sex and laughter are the two best things for the soul and he has been giving me both.
Still laughing over that bunny "WHAT'"!?!" in my past post. And the sex....it is mind blowing. He knows if he puts my legs in the air.....and then goes behind me and my legs go down toward my head......and he's like a frog thrusting me (can you see it?!) I orgasm like crazy....he must get my gspot perfectly....and the fact that he looks like a frog fucking me....also gives me the giggles...a private joke he doesn't get. I do look like a frog...as he laughs and looks at the mirrors above.... I opened my legs and looked into his eyes.....he bent down to kiss me...I said to him "You are my married prince charming"....he smiled and kissed me again. Little does he know how deep that statement goes or what it means.
He fucked me from behind...he fucked me up against the wall with my leg in the air...I can't even tell you how many different positions....laughing, playing enjoying each other.
then we used the wedge that I brought we were doing good until the
wedge started to move.....we were moving across the room with every thrust....it was hysterical.
We cuddled and he held me. We entwined and talked about work and life. He's opening up more...its nice. And then, this rush of emotion came over me...and it hit him too...the sensuality in our contact was intense....slow, deep thrusts as he
sucked on my nipples......it was erotic, it was fucking sexual and hot....it was touching...just the sensuality caused me to orgasm and then he flipped me over..knowig that I love when our fingers entwine and he enters me from behind and he looks at me in the mirror....we are looking into each others eyes and we can each see the other....there is something really hot about that...he kisses me and then throws me a kiss in the mirror...yes, there is no place in the world I would rather be then right here.
We had lunch after that....and then....back to wild sex...but this time..he flipped my head over the bed and he thrusted his cock deep in my throat...so deep....I am getting better....my gag reflex isn't as great and I can get him down way down my throat. He moans and he loves it. While I liked the position....the blood was rushing to my head and I had to get up...can't pass out!
So three hours flies when you are having fun. He's in the shower and I am relaxing in bed....he looks out. I yell at him...damn it already....why do you not trust me. It's been almost a year..don't you think if I wanted to look at your wallet or computer I would have done it already. Or I could have had your license plate traced. I want you to tell me who you are, not sneak and look.
I trust you and I know you could have looked already. I don't believe him. He is so nervous about it. Truth is, I'm dying to know. But I also know that if he caught me, he would be gone. And why do I need to know his full name? I really don't. Except it is bizarre that I don't know his name, where he lives....yet I can tell you exactly what he loves.....what makes his moan, what makes him smile, what makes him get annoyed and how to get him to cum. Lets see, he loves when I pull his cock back towards me and deep throat him....there is nothing more that he loves.
He throws me a kiss as we leave. i still get nervous that is good by. His disappearance acts make me so unsteady. I think he knows it because hes email me that night and almost everyday now. Even if its a little joke, so I know he is there. Is that his way of giving ? I think so. He apologized for hur.ting me last time.
So that was our day. I feel like it was centuries ago...this week sucked at work. I got paid on a big job. so I put the money into fixing my dishwasher, refrigerator and leaks around the house. I spent $10,000 this month in mortgage, fixing the house, insurance, catching up on bills. And how much did the hubby give me? NOTHING!! I asked him how are we paying the bills: I don't know. Oh okay. I am disgusted by him. I can't even look at him.
Oh well,,,,let's not think about it anymore....have a great weekend!
Our meetings have been different lately...filled with sex and sex but also tons of giggling and joking around. We both have a awarped sense of humor. And giggling is an understatement. I mean this week i was laughing so hard that I was gasping for air....sex and laughter are the two best things for the soul and he has been giving me both.
Still laughing over that bunny "WHAT'"!?!" in my past post. And the sex....it is mind blowing. He knows if he puts my legs in the air.....and then goes behind me and my legs go down toward my head......and he's like a frog thrusting me (can you see it?!) I orgasm like crazy....he must get my gspot perfectly....and the fact that he looks like a frog fucking me....also gives me the giggles...a private joke he doesn't get. I do look like a frog...as he laughs and looks at the mirrors above.... I opened my legs and looked into his eyes.....he bent down to kiss me...I said to him "You are my married prince charming"....he smiled and kissed me again. Little does he know how deep that statement goes or what it means.
He fucked me from behind...he fucked me up against the wall with my leg in the air...I can't even tell you how many different positions....laughing, playing enjoying each other.
then we used the wedge that I brought we were doing good until the
wedge started to move.....we were moving across the room with every thrust....it was hysterical.
We cuddled and he held me. We entwined and talked about work and life. He's opening up more...its nice. And then, this rush of emotion came over me...and it hit him too...the sensuality in our contact was intense....slow, deep thrusts as he
sucked on my nipples......it was erotic, it was fucking sexual and hot....it was touching...just the sensuality caused me to orgasm and then he flipped me over..knowig that I love when our fingers entwine and he enters me from behind and he looks at me in the mirror....we are looking into each others eyes and we can each see the other....there is something really hot about that...he kisses me and then throws me a kiss in the mirror...yes, there is no place in the world I would rather be then right here.
We had lunch after that....and then....back to wild sex...but this time..he flipped my head over the bed and he thrusted his cock deep in my throat...so deep....I am getting better....my gag reflex isn't as great and I can get him down way down my throat. He moans and he loves it. While I liked the position....the blood was rushing to my head and I had to get up...can't pass out!
So three hours flies when you are having fun. He's in the shower and I am relaxing in bed....he looks out. I yell at him...damn it already....why do you not trust me. It's been almost a year..don't you think if I wanted to look at your wallet or computer I would have done it already. Or I could have had your license plate traced. I want you to tell me who you are, not sneak and look.
I trust you and I know you could have looked already. I don't believe him. He is so nervous about it. Truth is, I'm dying to know. But I also know that if he caught me, he would be gone. And why do I need to know his full name? I really don't. Except it is bizarre that I don't know his name, where he lives....yet I can tell you exactly what he loves.....what makes his moan, what makes him smile, what makes him get annoyed and how to get him to cum. Lets see, he loves when I pull his cock back towards me and deep throat him....there is nothing more that he loves.
He throws me a kiss as we leave. i still get nervous that is good by. His disappearance acts make me so unsteady. I think he knows it because hes email me that night and almost everyday now. Even if its a little joke, so I know he is there. Is that his way of giving ? I think so. He apologized for hur.ting me last time.
So that was our day. I feel like it was centuries ago...this week sucked at work. I got paid on a big job. so I put the money into fixing my dishwasher, refrigerator and leaks around the house. I spent $10,000 this month in mortgage, fixing the house, insurance, catching up on bills. And how much did the hubby give me? NOTHING!! I asked him how are we paying the bills: I don't know. Oh okay. I am disgusted by him. I can't even look at him.
Oh well,,,,let's not think about it anymore....have a great weekend!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
A Hypothetical Frog --"I Love You"
Wow...Lion really got me thinking with his post. What happens if one of the frogs just blurted out 'I Love You' in bed or a dinner. What would you do? Hmmmmm....yes, I have been sitting here just thinking about that to try to find the real, honest answer.
Let's see...I am assuming you are asking about a frog that I truly care about and have been involved with. If one of them said 'I Love You' I would get a rush of tingles and a sense of an inner fulfillment and my whole body would tingle. It would be the most amazing feeling that I have felt in such a long time. The joy might even bring tears to my eyes and my immediate reaction would be to tell them I love them too and cuddle into their arms.
Now here's a really sad comment. I don't know the last time I heard I Love You. Maybe when I first got married. I can't even remember. I don't even know if I ever was totally in love with my husband or he with me. So, the fact that someone would love me -- would be the most amazing feeling I could ever feel.
I would of course tell him that I love him too if I felt that way. (well, if it were DigEm, MM and Porsche are the ones who come to mind). I love them for all the support and caring and the way they make me feel. I love them for the support they give me and how much they care. I love them for giving so much of themselves!
And Now For the Reality.....
I went to Ashley Madison to fill a void that was in my heart and my soul. And I have found it. The flirting, the mystery and fun of meeting a man....words going back and forth, comments oozing with sexuality...will he be the one that can make my heart sing? Will we meet and have a great connection? It's addicting in a good way. I can't explain the feeling but you feel like a little kid again who has their first crush. I giggle again, I blush again....I smile from ear to ear and my heart dances.
HOWEVER....the I Love You would not mean any type of commitment for the future.
Ashley is really what it means. People are trying to meet, fill voids and be happy. Not leave their situation. You have to be honest about it and respect the persons desires as well as your own.
And falling in love? I am very realistic about it now. I would never expect any man to become part of my life on a permanent basis. My life is not easy. I have children with serious medical issues and thats a forever commitment. And I am okay with that because I love them to death. I have accepted that I have to rely on me...and me alone. Growing up, I was always so independent. My parents used to comment on how I was Miss. Independent..working since the age of 12. I look back and I think God was setting me up to deal with what my life would be.
So hearing the words "I love you"......maybe that is what I am in search for. Someone who truly loves me even if we can't be together, just knowing that I have been loved in this world...truly loved will be just enough for me!
Let's see...I am assuming you are asking about a frog that I truly care about and have been involved with. If one of them said 'I Love You' I would get a rush of tingles and a sense of an inner fulfillment and my whole body would tingle. It would be the most amazing feeling that I have felt in such a long time. The joy might even bring tears to my eyes and my immediate reaction would be to tell them I love them too and cuddle into their arms.
Now here's a really sad comment. I don't know the last time I heard I Love You. Maybe when I first got married. I can't even remember. I don't even know if I ever was totally in love with my husband or he with me. So, the fact that someone would love me -- would be the most amazing feeling I could ever feel.
I would of course tell him that I love him too if I felt that way. (well, if it were DigEm, MM and Porsche are the ones who come to mind). I love them for all the support and caring and the way they make me feel. I love them for the support they give me and how much they care. I love them for giving so much of themselves!
And Now For the Reality.....
I went to Ashley Madison to fill a void that was in my heart and my soul. And I have found it. The flirting, the mystery and fun of meeting a man....words going back and forth, comments oozing with sexuality...will he be the one that can make my heart sing? Will we meet and have a great connection? It's addicting in a good way. I can't explain the feeling but you feel like a little kid again who has their first crush. I giggle again, I blush again....I smile from ear to ear and my heart dances.
HOWEVER....the I Love You would not mean any type of commitment for the future.
Ashley is really what it means. People are trying to meet, fill voids and be happy. Not leave their situation. You have to be honest about it and respect the persons desires as well as your own.
And falling in love? I am very realistic about it now. I would never expect any man to become part of my life on a permanent basis. My life is not easy. I have children with serious medical issues and thats a forever commitment. And I am okay with that because I love them to death. I have accepted that I have to rely on me...and me alone. Growing up, I was always so independent. My parents used to comment on how I was Miss. Independent..working since the age of 12. I look back and I think God was setting me up to deal with what my life would be.
So hearing the words "I love you"......maybe that is what I am in search for. Someone who truly loves me even if we can't be together, just knowing that I have been loved in this world...truly loved will be just enough for me!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sexually Content, Physically Content, Mentally Content
Quite surprisingly......the word content was very popular this week. I have used it in the passed to describe my feeling with both DigEm and with Mystery Man. It's a feeling that you can't find an exact word for but you feel complete, you feel happy, you feel content. I guess its that feeling when you have just eaten a great meal and you feel content. Do you know what I am saying? lol
Well this week, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man used the word 'content' to describe our affair. Both said the same thing.....why would I look any further, I am very content with what we have here...and then they held me closer. Kind of a weird deja vu. Kind of weird to have two guys explain to you that you totally fulfill them mentally, physically and emotionally...that's nice. And they both said i was crazy in a good way (they love the avatars and generators I send to them).
I love being fun!! I love making them happy.....
But two of them? Geez....I never expected this. I mean DigEm was far away...we fulfilled each other emotionally and our souls. This is two guys that I am sexually involved with. And I truly care about each one in a different way. Mystery Man (I met him Monday......it was amazing) and today, Mr Porsche snuck 5 minutes to see me...some kisses, some giggling, some sucking on his cock like a little kid. It was so much fun....
I guess I am content....do I have to choose? I hope not.
con·tent2 /kÉ™nˈtÉ›nt/ Pronunciation Key -
–adjective 1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
content
adjective
1. satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are; "a contented smile"
Well this week, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man used the word 'content' to describe our affair. Both said the same thing.....why would I look any further, I am very content with what we have here...and then they held me closer. Kind of a weird deja vu. Kind of weird to have two guys explain to you that you totally fulfill them mentally, physically and emotionally...that's nice. And they both said i was crazy in a good way (they love the avatars and generators I send to them).
I love being fun!! I love making them happy.....
But two of them? Geez....I never expected this. I mean DigEm was far away...we fulfilled each other emotionally and our souls. This is two guys that I am sexually involved with. And I truly care about each one in a different way. Mystery Man (I met him Monday......it was amazing) and today, Mr Porsche snuck 5 minutes to see me...some kisses, some giggling, some sucking on his cock like a little kid. It was so much fun....
I guess I am content....do I have to choose? I hope not.
con·tent2 /kÉ™nˈtÉ›nt/ Pronunciation Key -
–adjective 1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
content
adjective
1. satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are; "a contented smile"
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Not IF, but what time are we screwing!
Mr. Porsche is going away for a week. Something I forgot and when I remembered on Thursday....the thought of waiting over two weeks to fuck....was way too much for me. He works so damn hard, its hard to get away. Poor thing....when will I see him? He called me in the morning....he wasn't at work, he actually bought a gorgeous car that morning to add to his fleet of cars he already owned. And to top it off, it was my favorite car...yes, growing up, a model that I dreamed of fucking in. I had told him that when he was thinking about purchasing one. And now he owns one...geez...and the hot color that I love. I can't wait for him to ride me around in it, and do me in it. Yes, its a convertible too. Sigh....
Well if he has time to purchase a car, then he has time for me. so when are we meeting today? Silence. Well it actually wasn't a question, it was more of a statement. I was so damn horny and I needed him. I wanted him. Yes, I had to have him. I never am demanding but today I was. Otherwise I would have pouted and been annoyed as he promised Monday and he couldn't swing it. So, what time, I'll come to you!
His office staff was still there (damn workoholics) and I was trying to stick to the topic of work (I am working on a project with him). It was good,but they wouldn't leave...damn, its a Friday....a holiday...go home...
Well as we were working on the computer, my hands started to wander under his desk....my lips started to suck on his ear (he's so damn ticklish you could hear him giggling like a little kid). He calls down to the worker--when are you leaving? just a little hint...finally my hands are undoing his pants...I can't wait anymore for the worker to leave. Finally, he comes in and says good night..we are pretending to work on the computer but we are getting nothing accomplished.
As soon as he was gone...I go for his pants. Yes,I am dying to wrap my mouth around his cock. He walks me over to this couch....and he starts to undo his pants. My mouth is immediately attracted to his cock...like a magnetic...dying to lick and suck as much as I could. As if I have never sucked before. Licking and sucking...he finally says....do you know you give a great blow job! Now to me that is a compliment like no other. Especially for a girl who didn't know what to do with a cock in her mouth before she was married and barily gave head my whole marriage. This was a new enjoyment, a hobby for me. And to think that I am good at it...now that is pretty damn good!
Now I can get his cock totally in my mouth....really deep in my throat and suck..until he gets to a certain point and then he's got good girth and that baby starts to block my airway when he pushes me head down. And he doesn't let me up....he giggles as I squirm....
Take your pants down....I lower my pants and I am still on my knees. And now he turns me around towards this leather chair and bends me over....you like when I fuck you in my office.....yes, I can barily say......kind of a whisper as he is pounding me hard. you like when I pound you and thrust inside of you? Awwwwwwww...I can feel him all the way in...it is amazing....OH YES!! I can hear myself moaning and screaming. Yes, it feels amazing.....and to my surprise, I guess the fucking in his office, the anticipation was more than I could handle and the flow of an orgasm overcame me. my whole boy pulsating as he pushed his cock harder and harder in me.
Yes, I was happy....
I went back to blow him more but he can't cum in his office. Its too much pressure around, too much realization for him....so I did walk him back to his desk to discuss our next meeting. Me sucking him under his desk and then there is this angled table in his office...yes, I want him to fuck me there too....
We laughed, we talked and I had to get going. What a fun afternoon! What joy it is to get laid like that in the middle of the day......a determined fuck! As we left he kissed me good by...."Love ya" he said as he kissed me. Now its back to that word and its meeting. I love a man who can handle the word LOVE. I mean there are so many different loves in the world. Many men are lovephobics. Like Mystery Man, if I said Love ya to him.....he would flip and run. However, with Mr. Porsche (and certain other frogs) I do love them. I have loved them for the person they are and how they make me feel. I have loved them for bringing me happiness and respecting me and being my friend. That is what that Love Ya was....it was such a turn on to me. Probably because he knew I would be okay with it....I understood it....yes, he's something special.....
Well if he has time to purchase a car, then he has time for me. so when are we meeting today? Silence. Well it actually wasn't a question, it was more of a statement. I was so damn horny and I needed him. I wanted him. Yes, I had to have him. I never am demanding but today I was. Otherwise I would have pouted and been annoyed as he promised Monday and he couldn't swing it. So, what time, I'll come to you!
His office staff was still there (damn workoholics) and I was trying to stick to the topic of work (I am working on a project with him). It was good,but they wouldn't leave...damn, its a Friday....a holiday...go home...
Well as we were working on the computer, my hands started to wander under his desk....my lips started to suck on his ear (he's so damn ticklish you could hear him giggling like a little kid). He calls down to the worker--when are you leaving? just a little hint...finally my hands are undoing his pants...I can't wait anymore for the worker to leave. Finally, he comes in and says good night..we are pretending to work on the computer but we are getting nothing accomplished.
As soon as he was gone...I go for his pants. Yes,I am dying to wrap my mouth around his cock. He walks me over to this couch....and he starts to undo his pants. My mouth is immediately attracted to his cock...like a magnetic...dying to lick and suck as much as I could. As if I have never sucked before. Licking and sucking...he finally says....do you know you give a great blow job! Now to me that is a compliment like no other. Especially for a girl who didn't know what to do with a cock in her mouth before she was married and barily gave head my whole marriage. This was a new enjoyment, a hobby for me. And to think that I am good at it...now that is pretty damn good!
Now I can get his cock totally in my mouth....really deep in my throat and suck..until he gets to a certain point and then he's got good girth and that baby starts to block my airway when he pushes me head down. And he doesn't let me up....he giggles as I squirm....
Take your pants down....I lower my pants and I am still on my knees. And now he turns me around towards this leather chair and bends me over....you like when I fuck you in my office.....yes, I can barily say......kind of a whisper as he is pounding me hard. you like when I pound you and thrust inside of you? Awwwwwwww...I can feel him all the way in...it is amazing....OH YES!! I can hear myself moaning and screaming. Yes, it feels amazing.....and to my surprise, I guess the fucking in his office, the anticipation was more than I could handle and the flow of an orgasm overcame me. my whole boy pulsating as he pushed his cock harder and harder in me.
Yes, I was happy....
I went back to blow him more but he can't cum in his office. Its too much pressure around, too much realization for him....so I did walk him back to his desk to discuss our next meeting. Me sucking him under his desk and then there is this angled table in his office...yes, I want him to fuck me there too....
We laughed, we talked and I had to get going. What a fun afternoon! What joy it is to get laid like that in the middle of the day......a determined fuck! As we left he kissed me good by...."Love ya" he said as he kissed me. Now its back to that word and its meeting. I love a man who can handle the word LOVE. I mean there are so many different loves in the world. Many men are lovephobics. Like Mystery Man, if I said Love ya to him.....he would flip and run. However, with Mr. Porsche (and certain other frogs) I do love them. I have loved them for the person they are and how they make me feel. I have loved them for bringing me happiness and respecting me and being my friend. That is what that Love Ya was....it was such a turn on to me. Probably because he knew I would be okay with it....I understood it....yes, he's something special.....
Sexual Mind Candy From MY Secret Lover
I don't know exactly what it is, but my horniness goes in waves. And right now, I am so damn horny...that it is making me crazy.
I hate putting both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man in one post. Kind of feel like I am cheating on Mr. Porsche although Mystery Man was there first. I met Mr. Porsche on Friday. It was sooo hot....we fucked in his office. Details to follow.....
So, I am meeting Mystery Man tomorrow.....oh, he makes me wet. so damn wet....I asked him if he thought about me today...and this was his response. Can you see why he is sooo damn hard to resist?!
"Mmmmm...thinking about you as you squat down on your knees in front of me with your ass high in the air and your head on the floor. Your round cheeks spread wide apart revealing your succulent sweet pink pussy that is dripping wet waiting for my rock hard cock to slowly part your warm juicy aching lips. Can't wait to hear you moan and to beg me to ram my cock deep inside you as your ass gyrates and your hips grind back on my throbbing member. You know how good it feels as I straddle you and push my cock even deeper inside your slippery hole, my balls slapping up against your cheeks with each thrust, Nah....I can't say that I got any mind candy today...."
I hate putting both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man in one post. Kind of feel like I am cheating on Mr. Porsche although Mystery Man was there first. I met Mr. Porsche on Friday. It was sooo hot....we fucked in his office. Details to follow.....
So, I am meeting Mystery Man tomorrow.....oh, he makes me wet. so damn wet....I asked him if he thought about me today...and this was his response. Can you see why he is sooo damn hard to resist?!
"Mmmmm...thinking about you as you squat down on your knees in front of me with your ass high in the air and your head on the floor. Your round cheeks spread wide apart revealing your succulent sweet pink pussy that is dripping wet waiting for my rock hard cock to slowly part your warm juicy aching lips. Can't wait to hear you moan and to beg me to ram my cock deep inside you as your ass gyrates and your hips grind back on my throbbing member. You know how good it feels as I straddle you and push my cock even deeper inside your slippery hole, my balls slapping up against your cheeks with each thrust, Nah....I can't say that I got any mind candy today...."
Thursday, March 20, 2008
What happened to that Cloud 9 sexual euphoria?
I did something today that I don't do.....I went back and read part of my blog. What a trip! A trip down memory lane.....I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I kept this blog. Happy memories come floating back with each entry I read. I even could feel the flutters in my stomach like I had with the anticipation of meeting Mystery Man.
And now another reality....I have changed. Good? I don't know. Bad? Not sure of that either. What was a flowering account with every exciting detail back then....now, I notice my posts are very different when I explain my meetings with a frog. Why? Not exactly sure.
Am I getting immune? I admit it that a rendezvous does not leave me on that cloud 9 euphoria for days like it did before. But I enjoy my meetings just as much if not even more. But the euphoria last only hours not days.
Have I gotten so much stronger? Yes. I have. the hubby not working, leaving me to pay all bills, I am 100% in survival mode. And now, I realize I am in survival mode alone. I'm okay, I am doing it but I am tougher. I can feel it....and that is good but in another way it is bad. I liked that person who believed there was someone out there that could fill my void. My Married Prince Charming.....
Have I turned into the a man's thinking? Well I can say that I am more realistic. I was devastated from a frog leaving before. Mr. Government and Soulmate Chris are the best examples. But those were my first two real connections. I was a newbie. Now, it hurts when they leave but I say Okay, I've done this before and someone else has come along. I really feel that way now. Of course, DigEm was a real hurt. As was Mystery Man when he was gone. Yes, the reality at this point....WHEN he leaves, I will be devastated again. And Mr. Porsche, I will also be devastated.
Mr. Electric...well that Eliot Spitzer thing he pulled...I am not upset because I am pulling back) Actually I think the combination of the Spitzer scandal and his wife finding out is what made him realize he had to stop that. Sadly, his wife was upset because it cost money. Not that he had been with a whore but that he wasted good money on it. Poor guy. I am there as his friend, but I am having a hard time with this prostitute thing.
So have my dreams died? Have my insides hardened? Was I naive before and now just realistic? I am not sure. I do miss that dreamy side of me though. As I am typing this, I think the big change was me. More confidant, more take charge and more realizing that I need to be the girl in charge. That these men are just bonuses to a day not the main event.
So many more men on Ashley Madison these days. The Eliot Spitzer scandal really heated up the site. Married men curious are signing up. so many new frogs in the pond. But honestly, my personal pond is in overload right now anyway. I have two amazing frogs and I am enjoying them both. But I love cruising the Ashley site. Seeing what's out there, seeing if there is a potential frog. Yes, I was tempted and asked for a picture yesterday......its an addiction but quite a pleasurable one. I enjoy the sociology to the whole thing....hehehe
And now another reality....I have changed. Good? I don't know. Bad? Not sure of that either. What was a flowering account with every exciting detail back then....now, I notice my posts are very different when I explain my meetings with a frog. Why? Not exactly sure.
Am I getting immune? I admit it that a rendezvous does not leave me on that cloud 9 euphoria for days like it did before. But I enjoy my meetings just as much if not even more. But the euphoria last only hours not days.
Have I gotten so much stronger? Yes. I have. the hubby not working, leaving me to pay all bills, I am 100% in survival mode. And now, I realize I am in survival mode alone. I'm okay, I am doing it but I am tougher. I can feel it....and that is good but in another way it is bad. I liked that person who believed there was someone out there that could fill my void. My Married Prince Charming.....
Have I turned into the a man's thinking? Well I can say that I am more realistic. I was devastated from a frog leaving before. Mr. Government and Soulmate Chris are the best examples. But those were my first two real connections. I was a newbie. Now, it hurts when they leave but I say Okay, I've done this before and someone else has come along. I really feel that way now. Of course, DigEm was a real hurt. As was Mystery Man when he was gone. Yes, the reality at this point....WHEN he leaves, I will be devastated again. And Mr. Porsche, I will also be devastated.
Mr. Electric...well that Eliot Spitzer thing he pulled...I am not upset because I am pulling back) Actually I think the combination of the Spitzer scandal and his wife finding out is what made him realize he had to stop that. Sadly, his wife was upset because it cost money. Not that he had been with a whore but that he wasted good money on it. Poor guy. I am there as his friend, but I am having a hard time with this prostitute thing.
So have my dreams died? Have my insides hardened? Was I naive before and now just realistic? I am not sure. I do miss that dreamy side of me though. As I am typing this, I think the big change was me. More confidant, more take charge and more realizing that I need to be the girl in charge. That these men are just bonuses to a day not the main event.
So many more men on Ashley Madison these days. The Eliot Spitzer scandal really heated up the site. Married men curious are signing up. so many new frogs in the pond. But honestly, my personal pond is in overload right now anyway. I have two amazing frogs and I am enjoying them both. But I love cruising the Ashley site. Seeing what's out there, seeing if there is a potential frog. Yes, I was tempted and asked for a picture yesterday......its an addiction but quite a pleasurable one. I enjoy the sociology to the whole thing....hehehe
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A Paradise Day with Mystery Man
I met Mystery Man yesterday. I see a different side of him lately and I like it. We spend so much time giggling and laughing that it is really nice. He brought lunch to the room this time and we picnicked...and then we picknicked on each other....
Not as many positions as we usually do. Not as much raw sex but it was still hot. Okay so we fucked in 7 positions instead of the 15 we usually do. And I loved everyone! He is amazing....he knows exactly where to put his cock....thrusting hard....then slow...pulling out totally and then going soooo deep. Yes, I was a moaner today....actually a yeller is more like it. I am usually much quieter...but today I was begging him to fuck me harder.....and the screams that were coming out of my mouth as I orgasmed.....a little out of character for me....
Damn I enjoy him sooo!! I began talking to him about Ashley. He hasn't been on for awhile. He did pop on two weeks ago.....he said it was just to see if I was still on. I asked him why aren't you on anymore? He answered...because I have what I want. I am very content with us. I enjoy our time together. Well, for the first time...I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't see his honest response (usually its sarcasm) coming. In fact, he then pushed my hair aside and kissed me. He meant it. I just lied in his arms for a second and he held me tight....then of course he started making fun of me....
My affiliate code for Ashley has been doing well. As you know, I never hide it..my feeling is...I write about my life. If you are interested or curious about Ashley...check it out. If you decide to join, yes, I get money. I started to tell Mystery Man about my affiliate code and that I was happy it was doing well. All this Eliot Spitzer talk has people horny. He knew about the affiliate code but today he questioned more. Well.......I forgot he didn't know about my blog. Where do you mention your code? Oh boy......here it goes. I told him he didn't want to know. I said, forget it lets talk about me sucking your cock? It didnt work....now he was pushing.
Finally I said "No, if I tell you...I won't see you again...so forget it". And he took my face in his hands and said 'No,if you don't tell me, you won't see me again because I now know that I am a part of this. And if I see it online, I am going to be pissed." Oh fuck...now Mr. Porsche was intrigued with my blogging BUT Mystery Man...absolutely not."
I write short stories sometimes and include the code thats all. That wasn't exactly a lie. And his response....'so you write about our sexual rendezvous'?' CRAP! "Yes, I sometimes do but you are anonymous, I swear." He shot me a look. Silence.....he walked over to the bed and then ust grabbed the water. Then he changed the subject.
We began fucking again.......after I sucked on him for a few minutes...deep throating..he loves that now....and I am able to get him all the way down my throat. I love to hear him moan, it gives me such satisfaction. Then he got into this frog position and threw my legs over my head and my God, that is it. the ultimate position for my Gspot! Ecstasy was right there.....and he knew it......just as I was about to cum he opens my legs as then said 'hi! my name is Cheri and I have an affiliate program on Ashley and I am an advocate and a business woman and I work really hard and I love to fuck and then he starts doing the banana dance from my earlier post" in a fake voice making fun of me. It was so hysterical, I started to laugh so hard...I mean we are fucking......it was so damn funny....we both dropped on the bed and started to laugh and laugh. "You are a fucking nut' he said to me. But he was okay with what happened. I was relieved.
I had such a great day with him. His phone did not stop ringing. Damn, the third call he said he had to get.......well, if you have to talk to that person, you have to make me cum while you are talking......yes, I laid on the bed masturbating and he was fingering me...he was determined to get me to cum.......as he was talking business....it was hot. Finally,I came...holding in the moan...but he gave me a smile.....and winked...damn he's hot!!
So that was Mystery Man. I still get nervous we will not see each other again. but he emailed me yesterday....yes, we are okay. Why am I with him? I am addickted.....lol
Well I finished this entry a day later. We actually met on Tuesday. Today, I spoke with Mr. Electric. We met. (wow, three different men, three days in a row!) except with Mr. Electric, I couldn't even touch him. He confessed to me that he would hire call girls to come to the hotel. I was shocked. He was stopping, his wife found out (ex wife to be) The same day I was there? He said no, no, no. Okay, I felt like it was a slap in the face. I tried not to tell him but I had to....and then the thought of my lips being a place that a prostitute was.......I couldn't even ask. I mean we haven't been together in awhile. I didn't even want to know. We haven't slept together EVER....but my lips....geez...I was gagging. He made me meet him today to talk. we are friends but I couldn't even touch him. Oh he didn't push at all. He knew I was really distant, he felt it. I'm sorry my walls were up high. Where we used to be able to talk so easily, our conversation was now strained. Kind of sad. I don't like to judge but I can't help the way I feel.
Not as many positions as we usually do. Not as much raw sex but it was still hot. Okay so we fucked in 7 positions instead of the 15 we usually do. And I loved everyone! He is amazing....he knows exactly where to put his cock....thrusting hard....then slow...pulling out totally and then going soooo deep. Yes, I was a moaner today....actually a yeller is more like it. I am usually much quieter...but today I was begging him to fuck me harder.....and the screams that were coming out of my mouth as I orgasmed.....a little out of character for me....
Damn I enjoy him sooo!! I began talking to him about Ashley. He hasn't been on for awhile. He did pop on two weeks ago.....he said it was just to see if I was still on. I asked him why aren't you on anymore? He answered...because I have what I want. I am very content with us. I enjoy our time together. Well, for the first time...I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't see his honest response (usually its sarcasm) coming. In fact, he then pushed my hair aside and kissed me. He meant it. I just lied in his arms for a second and he held me tight....then of course he started making fun of me....
My affiliate code for Ashley has been doing well. As you know, I never hide it..my feeling is...I write about my life. If you are interested or curious about Ashley...check it out. If you decide to join, yes, I get money. I started to tell Mystery Man about my affiliate code and that I was happy it was doing well. All this Eliot Spitzer talk has people horny. He knew about the affiliate code but today he questioned more. Well.......I forgot he didn't know about my blog. Where do you mention your code? Oh boy......here it goes. I told him he didn't want to know. I said, forget it lets talk about me sucking your cock? It didnt work....now he was pushing.
Finally I said "No, if I tell you...I won't see you again...so forget it". And he took my face in his hands and said 'No,if you don't tell me, you won't see me again because I now know that I am a part of this. And if I see it online, I am going to be pissed." Oh fuck...now Mr. Porsche was intrigued with my blogging BUT Mystery Man...absolutely not."
I write short stories sometimes and include the code thats all. That wasn't exactly a lie. And his response....'so you write about our sexual rendezvous'?' CRAP! "Yes, I sometimes do but you are anonymous, I swear." He shot me a look. Silence.....he walked over to the bed and then ust grabbed the water. Then he changed the subject.
We began fucking again.......after I sucked on him for a few minutes...deep throating..he loves that now....and I am able to get him all the way down my throat. I love to hear him moan, it gives me such satisfaction. Then he got into this frog position and threw my legs over my head and my God, that is it. the ultimate position for my Gspot! Ecstasy was right there.....and he knew it......just as I was about to cum he opens my legs as then said 'hi! my name is Cheri and I have an affiliate program on Ashley and I am an advocate and a business woman and I work really hard and I love to fuck and then he starts doing the banana dance from my earlier post" in a fake voice making fun of me. It was so hysterical, I started to laugh so hard...I mean we are fucking......it was so damn funny....we both dropped on the bed and started to laugh and laugh. "You are a fucking nut' he said to me. But he was okay with what happened. I was relieved.
I had such a great day with him. His phone did not stop ringing. Damn, the third call he said he had to get.......well, if you have to talk to that person, you have to make me cum while you are talking......yes, I laid on the bed masturbating and he was fingering me...he was determined to get me to cum.......as he was talking business....it was hot. Finally,I came...holding in the moan...but he gave me a smile.....and winked...damn he's hot!!
So that was Mystery Man. I still get nervous we will not see each other again. but he emailed me yesterday....yes, we are okay. Why am I with him? I am addickted.....lol
Well I finished this entry a day later. We actually met on Tuesday. Today, I spoke with Mr. Electric. We met. (wow, three different men, three days in a row!) except with Mr. Electric, I couldn't even touch him. He confessed to me that he would hire call girls to come to the hotel. I was shocked. He was stopping, his wife found out (ex wife to be) The same day I was there? He said no, no, no. Okay, I felt like it was a slap in the face. I tried not to tell him but I had to....and then the thought of my lips being a place that a prostitute was.......I couldn't even ask. I mean we haven't been together in awhile. I didn't even want to know. We haven't slept together EVER....but my lips....geez...I was gagging. He made me meet him today to talk. we are friends but I couldn't even touch him. Oh he didn't push at all. He knew I was really distant, he felt it. I'm sorry my walls were up high. Where we used to be able to talk so easily, our conversation was now strained. Kind of sad. I don't like to judge but I can't help the way I feel.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Multiple,Multiple Orgasms..Oh MY!
All I can say is WOW! I met Mr. Porsche today. I was stressed on my way there and quite frankly I wasn't feeling very sexual. Subconsciously, I think all the "improvement stuff" made me nervous that I wasn't going to feel comfortable. He knew that and honestly went out of his way to make me feel good.
I got there and couldn't just attack him like I usually do...and he was totally fine with that. He held me, we cuddled and then he gave me this great massage with oil.......the comfort was there now and all my anxiety was gone......I sucked on his cock for a little bit and then the next thing I knew, he was blindfolding me.
While my nipples are sensitive, I do like them to get lots of attention...actually, I like when he is sensitive and then builds up to being a little rougher on them. While I was blindfolded..he slipped these little rubber bands on my nipples or at least tried...truth is my nipples are too erect...they get really erect.....he liked that....and proceeded to put a clip on the other...my that hurt for a second. there is a thin line between pain and ecstasy....and I was there....
Suddenly, he rolled me over and I could feel handcuffs going on my hands.....and as he slipped my panties off.....he ended up putting them in my mouth.....just enough of an out of control feeling but not too much. There is the trust involved.....while I couldn't pull my hands out, I could spit out the panties at any time....but I was fine and enjoying this new experience.
He was determined to make me orgasm...not once but multiple. we all know I have a problem after the first one....my clit gets so sensitive and swollen it just doesn't happen....I fall out of that state so quickly....this was different. Mr. Porsche worked and worked and worked. With butt plugs, his fingers, a vibrator.....telling me that he was going to invite someone in......the whole experience was exciting....very exciting.....it took me a real long time but he was determined to make me orgasm.....I mean we were at it for at least 45 minutes.....he certainly gets points for determination.......I was dripping but I just couldn't hit the orgasm state....so close and then I would fall....up again as his fingers worked my ass and the vibrator was inside of me and then rubbing my clit....as he had my finger in my ass (handcuffs in the back)...it was quite a unique experience.
And then it happened...it was a rush of ecstasy....it built and built and then my whole body began to shake.....as he tells me to Let Go, let go. And so I did.....what and amazing feeling....and then..it finally happened.....he stopped for a second...he continued with the vibrator and his fingers but he left the clit for few seconds and then he came back to it.....and slowly rubbed....while the vibrator was going full force. Let it go....and then this rush came over me....A rush that I have never felt before....my whole body convulting.....it was a stream of pleasure. Oh my! It was amazing......I collapsed....I couldn't move....there was a few minutes like an aftershock.....he undid my handcuffs, he took off the mask...and I just laid on him....totally content and motionless....still in a euphoric state...wrapped into him.
I wanted to please him now. He gave me so much today....let me start with a massage and as he rolled over..his phone rang. Trouble at work. Major problem that just took the total wind out of his sails. Total tension.....I felt so bad. He didn't even get to enjoy....and after that call, understandably, he had to get back to the office. we talked a little. I tried to help. It really bothers me to see the BS that is going on in his company. A delicate situation that is like a game of chess. You need to plan your every move strategically.
I sucked a few minutes on his cock, to try and relax him. I tickled him (he wanted to kill me)....and then we had to cut it short. Quite frankly, I couldn't complain at all....I was feeling amazing. However, he didn't get his fair share. I gave him an for a massage and a fuck! The best orgasm I have ever had and he didn't even get a chance for me to return the favor.....oh my,the clamps coming off were excruciating......I think he took some of my tit with him.
We talked later on. I like that we communicate and so many different levels. I enjoy our connection....
And what about Mystery Man? Yes, he wants to meet tomorrow...and I can't resist. I need to learn to pace my days better.....emailing back and forth...laughing hysterical...my guard is way up. If he leaves, I know it is it. Tonight we just emailed back and forth songs and little snippets from CSI Miami.....and we talked a little. The man gives great email.
I was feeling a little guilty today about Mr. Porsche. And then he said something interesting...I'm not your ruler, you can do whatever or whoever you want. Hmmm...where did that come from? I hope he's not peaking at my blog...that would suck. MM would never ask. Why? I would laugh and he knows it. You aren't going to tell me anything about you then I do not owe him anything.
I better go to sleep....got to get my energy back up for tomorrow. Sweet Wet Dreams!!
I got there and couldn't just attack him like I usually do...and he was totally fine with that. He held me, we cuddled and then he gave me this great massage with oil.......the comfort was there now and all my anxiety was gone......I sucked on his cock for a little bit and then the next thing I knew, he was blindfolding me.
While my nipples are sensitive, I do like them to get lots of attention...actually, I like when he is sensitive and then builds up to being a little rougher on them. While I was blindfolded..he slipped these little rubber bands on my nipples or at least tried...truth is my nipples are too erect...they get really erect.....he liked that....and proceeded to put a clip on the other...my that hurt for a second. there is a thin line between pain and ecstasy....and I was there....
Suddenly, he rolled me over and I could feel handcuffs going on my hands.....and as he slipped my panties off.....he ended up putting them in my mouth.....just enough of an out of control feeling but not too much. There is the trust involved.....while I couldn't pull my hands out, I could spit out the panties at any time....but I was fine and enjoying this new experience.
He was determined to make me orgasm...not once but multiple. we all know I have a problem after the first one....my clit gets so sensitive and swollen it just doesn't happen....I fall out of that state so quickly....this was different. Mr. Porsche worked and worked and worked. With butt plugs, his fingers, a vibrator.....telling me that he was going to invite someone in......the whole experience was exciting....very exciting.....it took me a real long time but he was determined to make me orgasm.....I mean we were at it for at least 45 minutes.....he certainly gets points for determination.......I was dripping but I just couldn't hit the orgasm state....so close and then I would fall....up again as his fingers worked my ass and the vibrator was inside of me and then rubbing my clit....as he had my finger in my ass (handcuffs in the back)...it was quite a unique experience.
And then it happened...it was a rush of ecstasy....it built and built and then my whole body began to shake.....as he tells me to Let Go, let go. And so I did.....what and amazing feeling....and then..it finally happened.....he stopped for a second...he continued with the vibrator and his fingers but he left the clit for few seconds and then he came back to it.....and slowly rubbed....while the vibrator was going full force. Let it go....and then this rush came over me....A rush that I have never felt before....my whole body convulting.....it was a stream of pleasure. Oh my! It was amazing......I collapsed....I couldn't move....there was a few minutes like an aftershock.....he undid my handcuffs, he took off the mask...and I just laid on him....totally content and motionless....still in a euphoric state...wrapped into him.
I wanted to please him now. He gave me so much today....let me start with a massage and as he rolled over..his phone rang. Trouble at work. Major problem that just took the total wind out of his sails. Total tension.....I felt so bad. He didn't even get to enjoy....and after that call, understandably, he had to get back to the office. we talked a little. I tried to help. It really bothers me to see the BS that is going on in his company. A delicate situation that is like a game of chess. You need to plan your every move strategically.
I sucked a few minutes on his cock, to try and relax him. I tickled him (he wanted to kill me)....and then we had to cut it short. Quite frankly, I couldn't complain at all....I was feeling amazing. However, he didn't get his fair share. I gave him an for a massage and a fuck! The best orgasm I have ever had and he didn't even get a chance for me to return the favor.....oh my,the clamps coming off were excruciating......I think he took some of my tit with him.
We talked later on. I like that we communicate and so many different levels. I enjoy our connection....
And what about Mystery Man? Yes, he wants to meet tomorrow...and I can't resist. I need to learn to pace my days better.....emailing back and forth...laughing hysterical...my guard is way up. If he leaves, I know it is it. Tonight we just emailed back and forth songs and little snippets from CSI Miami.....and we talked a little. The man gives great email.
I was feeling a little guilty today about Mr. Porsche. And then he said something interesting...I'm not your ruler, you can do whatever or whoever you want. Hmmm...where did that come from? I hope he's not peaking at my blog...that would suck. MM would never ask. Why? I would laugh and he knows it. You aren't going to tell me anything about you then I do not owe him anything.
I better go to sleep....got to get my energy back up for tomorrow. Sweet Wet Dreams!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patricks Day
HAPPY ST. PATRICK's DAY!!!
I couldn't resist this cartoon!!
May you all find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...or an orgasm or two!!
Yes, men...this is for you. Ladies, can you believe I couldn't find a hot, sexy man for St. Patrick's Day to post....damn...okay guys....you get the treat today!!
I couldn't resist this cartoon!!
May you all find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...or an orgasm or two!!
Yes, men...this is for you. Ladies, can you believe I couldn't find a hot, sexy man for St. Patrick's Day to post....damn...okay guys....you get the treat today!!
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