How can I be Horny AGAIN!?!?

I sooo fucked up today. It's rare that I am so self centered and not thinking about what is going on in someones life....but today I was truly an idiot (to put it nicely).

I was determined to speak to Chris. It's been killing me that I couldn't talk to him to tell him how sorry I was. Last night, he bleeped on IM (like a tease) for the first time in a long time. He was there and refused to talk to me. So today (obviously not thinking)...I called.

In the Jewish religion, we bury first and then sit shiva usually three nights (suppose to be more but the less religious sit less). Anyway, I figured everything had taken place for his mom last week. So when I called and he hung up on me ...I called back and left a message. He texted me how arrogant I was to call when he was with his family....

It hadn't hit me that this was the week of the funeral. So, now I am feeling horrible. Did you ever have someone that you try so hard to do the right thing and no matter what you do....you fuck it up . Today, I fucked it up big time. I said after I realized what I probably did "What the fuck were you thinking?!?"" Well he was right. For the first time I see his side, I was acting so selfish. Thinking about only my world. How bad I felt and how I wanted him to know I cared. It obviously back fired. Well I'm going to leave him alone. I feel so bad that we ended on this negative note. I can't take it back so I will have to just live with it.

The rest of my day certainly got better.......okay, can you believe today I started feeling that desire again. Its been less than a week and I am damn horny again. It must be in the air because there have been a lot of frogs around lately.....they are making me super horny.

I spoke with tadpole--he's so sweet (and shy). Been spending a lot of time reading his blog in hopes of learning more about him--however, the dirt is much less. He spent time today reading all my posts (oh man, what he must have read). I love a guy who can take a tease and give one back. I've been trying to get dirt on him but he can't be manipulated. I'm going to continue to work on it!!

Curious George---that guy knows how to push me.....get me going and make me do impulsive things. Dangerous man....and its fun!! Well, I was sitting in my dining room last night and he asked me what I was wearing. Well, you probably would want to hear me say--"a sexy lingerie, black with lace stockings--waiting for you"..well..the real answer.... shorts and a tee. No bra, no underwear but still not the answer to give a man a hard on. Take a pix and send it. Oh man, he knows I am shy like that. But he got me worked up and I took a pix of the flag. Oh wait....then I decided to snap another (hubby just two rooms away)....I took a breast out and flashed. I can't believe I did that. I quickly sent it....way too crazy for me...what was I thinking? you see he has this thing for my nipples...they are big and they get really, really erect when they are excited. So, he was shocked that I sent it. i love the shock value!!

And Mr. Government, surprisingly, he's been extremely attentive. Just a text to say hello, see how I was. "So, have you thought about our coffee meeting?" "Of course, I did over and over and over". So, I called and left a message....well, I am passing the industrial area and I am amazed how horny it made me. So, i was wondering....which moaning was the stronger one...the one when I was giving you a blow job or when you were doing me from behind. Different moans, wonder which you liked better!! I laughed and hung up. I can see him laughing and rolling his eyes.....he loves it...but control damn it, control!!! lol

Okay off to bed....to dream. And well, I would be lying of I said I was going right to sleep. I have a feeling I am going to have to pleasure myself to avoid tossing and turning. Something is wrong with that!!! DOn't you think?? So many frogs and I'm doing it myself? sigh.