Tonight I was taking my child to a psychologist to discuss all the issues that he has (mainly the influence that his father has put on him). Just before the appointment, he coveniently got sick. I tried to get him to go...with little success. So since this is the same shrink i was suppose to go see foe marriage counseling, I decided to take my son's place. Give the shrink my perspective on the whole thing since he was seeing both my son and my husband. And quite frankly, I wanted him to stop putting these thoughts in my husband's head of winning me back.
I walked in and we started to talk. Yes, I talked and he listened. I basically laid it on the line for 45 minutes. The dysfunctional family dynamics. He interjected with some questions. So Doc, sum it up for me. And he responded....how long do you think you can go on like this? Not what I expected for him to say. Don't you think its time for your husband to come up to the plate. WOW! Finally, someone who gets it and can help him. Yes, I said. That's where you come in. I expected him to have more to say. He basically told me that I deserve happiness. Wow....I didn't expect that. I thought he was going to push for us to reconcile. And then he went on to say....i can see you've worked hard on yourself, your feelings and have dedicated yourself to your family. You didn't wake up overnight and come up with this. you've struggled internally and have worked this out within your head. With every question I have asked, you had an answer that was precise and demonstrated you have thought of all your options. My goal is to work on your child to see how we can help him and also work on your husband.
For you, you deserve to find happiness and you deserve their father to be responsible and share in the burden and in the raising and finances of the children.
So I left there relieved. Hopefully now understanding where I am coming from, he can help us all achi eve happiness. I told him my husband doesn't love me. He loves what I do. He loves the family dynamics but he's not in love with me as I am not with him. Basically, I wanted this man to stop telling him to try to win me over with notes and roses. It's giving me a migraine..I told him. And he understood that.
So in conclusion.....Cheri is not nuts! And thanks to this blog and all my friends here....I am actually in pretty good shape. If anyone ever wondered if a blog can help someone...I think mine is the perfect example of an online journal that helped me cope and be my own therapist with interjection from my friends with key advice. I guess I should send you all a $15 co-pay per constructive comment!! lol
3 comments:
Good stuff... but you should also get your own therapist to talk to, even if just for a short time, because you really need to be 100% honest and you obviously can't tell this guy everything if he's also seeing your husband and son.
You may find that more affirmations of your "not nuts" status might make you change your mind about going for a real relationship and not just rendezvous, etc.
You most certainly are not nuts Cheri. I could have told you that for free. But I still want my $15!
Lion...I agree. I joked about it but I think that therapy is good for people. And I do eventually need to talk to someone who I can totally open up too..Thanks for caring!
Made to the order of Riff Dog...I just threw it in the mail, no address needed..seems a lot of women know ya!! lol And thanks for the non nuts vote!!
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