Three weeks ago, I had agreed to meet the man who want me for my brain (now there is a long frog title) for lunch today. As you can imagine, I had a rough night falling and staying asleep last night and today would probably have been the last day I would have chosen to meet him. But I did.
We met at a great restaurant....the one I went to with Mr. Sensual for lunch actually. My first impression, I wasn't sure. He looked different from the one pix and I imagined him more muscular. His personality was very nice but he was very set in his ways. Down to the way he approached his steak..cutting a specific way and then eating it. The conversation was never lacking...I have to say, I like people and enjoy learning about them and talking with them so I just enjoyed this lunch very much. From a friend point of view, I really like him. From a sexual standpoint, I don't know if I was feeling it. But then again, i don't know if I would feel it with anyone today.
At my car, he kissed me good by....a few little kisses, it was very nice. Actually, I needed to feel wanted today.I needed some personal contact.
Ever feel signs from above? Well today I thought a lot about what MM said. I need to find what I am looking for...leave the past behind and move on. And I am taking things as signs. Let's face it. I am not happy. Oh much better than I was years ago...but I'm finally at that foadrk in the road. It's time to make a decision and which path I am going to take..gotta stop standing at the fork in the road and trying to decide which road is the right road. It's time to choose a path.
I am going to mentally re-build a little. I began today putting my ducks in a row. I am overwhelmed in work and with the family right now and I need to straighten that out. As for romance, I am not feeling it right now. Hubby left his laptop open today....quick history review, he is activelt on a dating service. I am not mad or upset, I just don't feel guilty if I decide to file for divorce. If he found someone, he would be gone in a heartbeat. I just am tired of feeling like his mealticket.
So today was a strange day...even Mr. Porsche felt it from me. It's all okay though. No drama, just inner soul searching.
As for going back on Ashley. I am thinking of starting over there. just not yet...I need to heal a little, I need to work a little on me..I need to think about what I am going to do even career wise. I am working both ends of the candle and that is also making me a little insane. Organize my life a little...
4 comments:
"The first date is an excellent time to discuss what you expect from a relationship, your religious beliefs, your morals and where you see your future.Two people on a different path are going to have a near impossible time forming a life, even if there is love.There is more to a relationship than love and passion." I agree and you can find out about another person a lot in the first date, whether you're connected or not, first date says it!
Is there no chance at all that your husband has pulled a MM and stumbled upon the blog? For a guy who needs a meal ticket, he sure seems pretty careless - almost like he is just waiting for you to pull the trigger so he can roll out the stack of printed blogs.
Maybe I'm just over thinking it.
Sorry, Cheri, but going to Ashley means sex, not romance or connection. If it's sex, it's Ashley. Period. Take a look at the April 18 entry for http://adventureswithguys.blogspot.com/. She understands what Ashley's about, she knows when/what she wants, and she gets it. You're teasing rather than getting, because you want that connection, not the sex. Decide what you want and what you're willing to give to get it. Doesn't sound to me like you're there yet.
Hey Cameron..I agree..if you are too far apart, its never going to work. Upfront is the way to go...
JF Break-nah, he hasn't found it..he is just careless..someone knocked on the door and he ran down, never expected me to go upstairs...it doesn't matter and I am not saying anything..its just a matter of time.
Anon--I agree that many men are on Ashley for the pure sex....ABSOLUTELY...Ashley is somewhere you can be honest if thats what you want. I do disagree that there are no men on there that are missing something in their life and they are looking for more than sex...almost every man I was with was for more than sex. I actually am friends with many of them now....just friends...and many want both the sex and friendship from lovers..but not a traditional relationship. As for not knowing what I want, at this point, you are 100% correct...Before I wanted sex now I don't know what I want...hmm....deep thought!!
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