The Need To Feel Desired...

When you are hurting, you desire some lust to make the pain go away. Alcohol does not do it nor will a mother's little helper. The hurt turns to anger which turns to an inner desire to fix the hurt. Passion, desire, lust...ORGASMS....excitement, forbidden desire....all seem to be a quick fix. Oh it doesn't last long but going against the grain....pushing the limit and probably bordering stupid all seems to come to the surface. It's plain and simple. I need a big, thick cock pushing deep inside to make this inner emptiness subside. I need to feel attractive not rejected.


So any suggestions? It's Friday afternoon and I need to feel desired. I need to end the weekend on an upbeat. I need to do a Cheri check...just see if I can get a cock hard. You know the Cheri check....feel a man's pants just to make sure that I can get his cock hard with a little teasing and sexual contact (fully clothed!)


Hmm....let me send a text. It's been a long time but who knows.. "you home yet?"
Immediate response. "Actually I am almost at my car"
MY response...."Don't go home, meet me for coffee?"


I have not seen Mr. Security Man in over two months now. After my loss of MM, I basically threw him away. I never figured he would be within 5 miles of me. I was driving home from work, he was in the car....


We've spoken infrequently these past two months. I hurt him he said. We both knew, it could never pick up where we left off...it would have to start all over again. Yes, we started with a coffee and this would either be a new beginning or the end.....


He agreed to meet me for coffee. Wow, if we planned it, it wouldn't have worked out. 10 minutes later, we met at probably a very stupid Starbucks..the main intersection of two highways. Actually, my husband passes it on his way home. we didn't realize the window was right there at the light. You know when the light turns red and you daydream and look around...hmm...hope no one I know looks this way. I thought about changing the location but then said...hey, its coffee...


A long day today -no makeup, no hairspray, my blonde hair very straight and basically covering one eye. I think I look like crap but if I've met someone a couple of times, I think they can see the Not So Fixed Up Me. Now, I guess I am also okay with that because I find some guys love the hairspray, makeup, totally fixed up look and others like when I am more no makeup. While I feel better with the makeup, I don't think I will scare anyone if I don't have that much makeup on. I don't believe it but my friends tell me I look good with the au natural.

SO...back to the day....He walks in and smiles at me looking me deep in the eyes (or at least the one eye that was truly visible). That's one thing he has that I am attracted to, dreamy eyes...they literally sparkle. (The color green I always wanted)....I smiled back and kind of gave that sexy, shy smile as I looked down. He walks over and its as if a magnet was pulling us together....we are an inch from each other and he reached down and kissed me. "Hi". Our eyes are locked and I smle. "I like your hair. You got it straightened? A new style?" "Yeah, I had a vicious day fighting the rain with no hairspray hairdo". He laughed...and whispered in my ear..."I like when you look so natural." How ironic...I blow it, use a round brush to get it to poof and he likes it the way I wake up in the morning!!

We order the coffee and this time instead of splitting a muffin like the first time we met, we ordered two. I reached over and touched his hand that was on the counter...he took my hand and our fingers entwined. Both of us just staring at our hands.

We sat down and laughed and talked and chatted about nothing...and at one point he was talking and I began to just stare in his eyes....and the look was deep (when we meet, we connect, but why doesn't it always feel right I was thinking)...."are you listening to me?".."Oh I am, and I repeated back what he said without taking my eyes off of his eyes. And out of no where, he leaned in and began to kiss me...a really deep kiss....and it took us two minutes to realize we were in such a public place and thankfully no one was watching us. I mean, geez, it was as if we had to kiss. Did you ever have where that desire was so overwhelming and your lips had to touch and your tongues entwine? He's an amazing kisser.


Oh, we weren't even talking after that..and if we were I don't remember what we were talking about. I do remember him saying "your breasts are unbelievable in that shirt, can't concentrate". So then I do remember saying "I think I need to see if your car is still the same". And he agreed....so we went to his car and I sat down "Yup same car.."and giggled. As I looked at him, we both reached in and passion exploded. He's a great kisser....Now remember, this was our first date so that's all that was going to happen...but it was soo hot it was as if we were ripping each others clothes off....

Now I had to do the Cheri test. Woman have the advantage to keeping a man guessing how turned on they are...you have to get real intimate (a feel of the wet pussy) or you can see nipples hardening through a shirt. But I was wearing my jacket. Now with a man...a quick feel to his pants will tell ya where you stand. A man can't fake it....it's either soft, a little hard or a raging hard on. And he, well he had a raging hard on. Quite frankly, I didn't even have to feel because you could see it in his pants. He was super hard. I was turned on....oh boy was I turned on that I went in for a kiss as if it was the last kiss of my life. I needed some healing and its as if I am a kissing vampire. I suck the healing out of a man's mouth.....it energizes me.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered in his ear... His breathless response...."about us in the hotel room, you leaning over the table and me fucking you from behind....I want to be there right now". "Mmmmm....."was all I said and he moaned and kissed me and caressed my breast. And now I could feel my nipples hardening more and the wetness in his pants. Yes, the pre-cum. Oh, I admit it, I got satisfaction knowing that I could probably get him to cum without a piece of clothing being removed. There is a passion in our kisses.

It was time to leave..I had to get home as did he. He drove me around to my car and I said "call me sometime" and winked and gave him a little kiss. "And, check for blonde hair when I get out!!"

I knew he was watching me as I walked to my car, I turned around and threw him a kiss....he smiled and I got in the car and he drove off. I pulled up to the exit of the Starbucks and waited at the main intersection light....I just missed the light and the other direction traffic was beginning to go. Oh my, at the light was my other car with the hubby in there. Did he see me? I wasn't sure. Oh man. But I decided not to hide it. I made sure he was ahead of me. I could dump the coffee but I decided not to. I walked into the house with the coffee cup. Yes, if he thought it was me, now he knew it was. No reason to hide a cup of coffee. I thought he looked at the cup funny but I ignored it.

So my need for feeling desired was fulfilled.