Update

Frazzled is probably the best word for it. Excited and nervous about change. A lot is going on this past week, it seems like my whole world is changing. Mr. Porsche was away on vacation and when he returned, he didn't call. Highly unusual and I let the day pass. Today, day 2 of him being back, by 1:30 it was beginning to really get to me. We've been rocky and when he left it was a mixed bag of conversation. I decided to just call, say hi and see how his vacation went. The phone call was ok, I felt like a stranger in a way. He asked me about my week. I commented. He was definitely trying to be interested but I could feel a distance. He's stressed at work and I can hear it. I know its work...its nothing personal and I am not a priority right now. That is okay.

Ironically, he started to tell me how busy his week is (the usual when he was justifying not seeing me...like a prelude to a book). "Okay, whenever you can see me". Sweet, cool and very unexpected from me. Which I think annoyed him which is funny because I was trying to be understanding. "Call me when you get a chance". Usually that is later in the day....and I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. It's sad. I am keeping my distance. He needs to get on track with work, I need to get on track with my life and this little break is good for us right now.

Mr. Security and I spoke for over an hour today. We are buddies and it is not going any further than that for awhile. I did go back onto Ashley Madison and found a few frogs. Too soon to report anything on them.

As for the anonymous posts, its so easy to sit back and judge (especially with no name attached). No one is making anyone go on Ashley to find a friend with fringe benefits. They are there for their own reasons and no one is breaking up their marriages. Their marriages are already missing something and they chose this route. And to save face by getting a divorce? That has nothing to do with it. But I do agree, the faster route is the better route. Both the hubby and I agree we need to begin our lives over. If you are going on Ashley to find a new husband, it is not the place for that. but it has its purpose and it is there to fill a void. I am sorry...I still agree that it is a better way to find someone to have an affair with . Is a co-worker a better choice? Or maybe your friends husband/wife? Or a parent from your kids sports team? All choices that my friends have taken and all led to disasters.

Went out with some neighbors tonight who I had told last week. Ironically one of the woman specifically asked me to come to talk. Truth is, she is looking to begin the road to divorce as well. I told her I am nervous and the girls at the table laughed. You are kidding us? Why are people so surprised that I am not looking forward to dating? So they spent the next 10 minutes making a list of why a guy would want me...lol And for the record for all of you who think I am a horrible person--- the nicest person and most caring they know were two and three. So pretty was the #1 reason....lol So i must not be as horrible as all of you think.