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Quantity is not an issue, it's quality. I am PMSing without a doubt. It's bad. First PMS as a single woman again. Not a fun thing. I feel like an entertainment committee, I should probably start charging. The quantity of men is there but I am missing the substance.

Mr. Porsche is an angel. Such a good friend, such a great person who cares. i truly love that we have a friendship and a sexual relationship. I would love one with someone else but these guys are soooo hung up.

Mr. Astronaut who is going to be re-named now to Mr. Tin Man. I don't know if he is playing wiht me but he brings out this desire in me to save him. Show him joy and desire. He said to me that he was empty inside and that he is okay like that. When I asked him why I haven't seen him? the cuddle thing made him afraid I would get too attached to him. Honestly, I think he feels he is going to get too attached to me. I am fine. I am not empty. Oh there is a void but I am far from empty. He admitted that he likes me and thinks about me all the time. we had wild phone sex on the phone today. I sent him crazy pix (which I am tempted to share with you....). I am not a big vagina fan but since I shaved my pussy, it looked okay. He died from it, said his cock went into a full erection when he saw it. I like him, I really do. I feel a chemistry there that I don't feel with the others (except for Mr. P of course and another who will remain nameless).

And then, the list. The new guy. Type A is being too kind. He is sexually alluring in a deviant way. Something about him is pulling me towards him like the devil. Not sure what it is but I am feeling he hangs on the darkside and the difference with him. I am not feeling any warmth in his soul. Oh he is a gentleman and I feel he is a protective man but there is no warmth. Does that make sense? The other guys who have a dark side (Mr. P, MM, Mr. Tin Man) have a warmth to them. He doesn't. It would be wild but a little too controlling I think.

Hmmmmm.....there is Mr. Sugar Daddy. There is Mr. Security Guy who we are friends and I just found out he is fucking his neighbor. I tinge of jealousy went through me. I would love to do him again in the future. And the others are gone right now. Mr friends friend..I am mad at. Again he says he was going to try and come over but never even called to say he was or wasn't coming. I can't stand rudeness.

So I am just not feeling it with these guys. There is something missing. Mr. Sugar Daddy was annoyed because I asked him to call me when he got home. His response, I survived boot camp, the Vietnam War, 15 years of football and some other things...going to your house is like going out for milk. we do live 1 1/2 hours away and it was a rainy night....fine, I won't worry about him. He called today, the conversation doesn't flow...I like him but not digging him totally. Can he be too smart for me? He brings out the little girl in me. He brings out insecurities. I could never see myself going wild on him but pretending to be a timid young thing.

So now I babbled. Not loving men tonight. Trying to work but its not working well. I am going to do a lot of soul searching this weekend. Even get into tv. I don't watch tv..isn't that what most people do for downtime?