Orgasm, Orgasm, Orgasm...Three for the Road

Aaahhhhh......today I was a stressball. So much so that I had a severe anxiety attack. I thought I was going to have to cancel on Mr. Porsche. Usually I get uptight, but not like this....I was really in overload here. I decided to go there and even if he just held me, that would be enough for me (and he's the type who would understand if I just couldn't have sex).


Well we got to the room and he looked at me and came over and held me. He could see that I was a stressball. the anxiety must have been on my face. He kissed me and held me and then tickled me and kissed me some more. He knows how to make me smile and he did just that.


Can we talk business first? I need to get all this crap off of my head. And I threw the work on the bed.. I can only talk to you if you are topless he said. Oh man, he knows how I don't like to mix business and pleasure....take your top and bra off.....and so I stripped and went over business while I was sucking his cock and my nipples were hard. Talk about a multi-tasking business meeting. Between licking his balls and going down on his cock, deep throating him till I almost gagged...discussing his work I did for him. for some reason, he didn't seem to mind that I had fucked up on one item.....lol

He is determined to take me out ,of my comfort zone. But quite frankly, the stress I was under, I couldn't cum. It was as if there was a block, a wall as I was getting close. But he worked and worked until I was able to cum. It took my new favorite toy....lots of nipple playing and sucking and the butt plug.....to get me to cum. He worked me for 45 minutes....I was getting frustrated that I couldn't get there. He fucked me from behind, from the front....we did everything....and I was having a hard time getting over that spot. And then it got worse, he said for a girl who had been so damn horny for two weeks...what happened here. And my mind went to Mystery Man. A flash of guilt flashed over me and dried me up even more.

Oh but he worked me and worked me good....and when I finally did cum, it was like a river exploding....he took me out of the zone....my body was finally free....his cock thrusted in me just as I was cumming...it was so damn hot. And then the moment of calm that comes over me, he usually lets me rest till I get a little energy but this time he grabbed me by the hair and made me ride him.....it was hot because I was like drunk, filled with that light headed orgasm feeling....and then he flipped me over and started smacking my ass and HARD....I was screaming for him to stop, it was hurting....finally he made me say, tell me you love being my slut.....I held back and he smacked me even harder....I finally gave in.... I love being your slut!

Oh I am not so submissive...at one point I bit his chin, and smacked his ass. Which his eyes bugged out of his head and I started laughing so hard. I am a bad girl...in so many ways. There is always that little part of me that rebels.

In total, I came three times. The last time was wild with butt plug deep inside of me and then his cock. When his cock went in, I could feel my body start to pulsate...I was so anal today....oh he made me tell him that I was his little slut. he even wants me to give a stranger a blowjob while I am away....I wonder what he would think if he knew about MM?

And then it was time to make him cum.....and boy did he cum....he loves when I go down on him till I almost gag, play with his balls and have my finger on his prostate. It blows his mind how I am able to get him to squirt 5-6 times.....the orgasm is something he says he has never experienced...I take that as such a compliment...all he does is smile and says wow...and giggles. Well, we all know I have a crazy side to me....so I had a hat made up with his company logo on it...and I told him that I was his mascot...so as I was blowing him, I had the hat on.....I made him laugh so hard. Laughter to me is the best medicine. When life is getting you down, nothing is more exciting and fun...and memorable than when you are laughing. So me wearing that hat was really making him crack up. Then we got into talking about peeing.....somehow we got into pee talk and he said if you don't stop I am going to make you hold my cock as I pee.... "that sounds like fun...come on....." he didn't expect me to say that...and I jumped up with his hat on and began squirting it around the toilet....he was amused....and I was laughing....I tried to drip it, know that last shake, but everytime I did it, more pee came out. I couldn't get the last shake... silly ridiculous but so much fun.

He is so affectionate with his kisses...he truly made me happy today. Even gave me a massage and money for my trip. The only thing that I forgot to mention that is bothering me.....THREE TIMES I SCREAMED MM's name out during the height of the moment. Thank God his name sounds like My God.....so I could get away with it. I've never done that before...why now? And then my mind starting freaking because that's not even his real name....how fucked up is that?
I was very disturbed that in a full year I never made that mistake and today....3 times at the orgasm point....wow, I do need to get away..

and the other men...there are too many right now. I am going to have to stay off of Ashley Madison for awhile. Single Rock Star and New Mr,. Government are keeping me busy....I am not going to flirt with anymore.

Oh how I love sex!!!!!!!!!

Five Dead Husbands...Hmm....

While it certainly isn't funny that this woman has five dead husbands but you have to wonder, a couple of things.

First, this woman got five men to marry her (and I worry?!!?)

Second, didn't someone think that five dead husbands is kind of a red flag?!

Third, I can't help but think husband 4 and 5 should have seen it coming....

She hasn't been convicted of killing any of them yet (although she was looking for someone to kill one of them and soon after he was found dead with bullets in him).

Quite frankly, look at her face. She doesn't look like a happy woman. Maybe she nagged them to death. I think her son (or one of her husbands...I lost interest) committed suicide. I am thinking she didn't actually kill them but nagged each one to death....

Let It Rock!!

Things have calmed down slightly. Tomorrow is an afternoon with Mr. Porsche. the New Mr. Federal Government (I am working my way up to the federal level now)...is pursuing heavily. Mr., Single Rock Star has stepped up to the plate and surprised me and called me two times today because he was thinking about me. Mr, Uncircumsized and Mr. Divorce Attorney also called today. so my day was filled with frogs....lots of them. And there was one frog I didn't hear from....BUT I can't expect miracles.

I am sending him a note tonight.....with the song that I want to fuck him to this song......I don't know why but when you blast this....it is so damn hot!! mmmmm...I am getting horny...LOL

Yes, I am off to Vegas....Ooooooooo.....I can't wait...sitting at the blackjack table, looking for the hottest man there.....yes, I am going to score!!! lol

The Cloud 9 Euphoria is now a Black Cloud

Did you ever think something or write it and say..I hope I am not jinxing myself. My last two posts I felt so good. Felt the world was coming together. And as I was writing it, I was saying Oh Please, let life continue this way.

Well, well, well. I should know better. That euphoric happiness just crumbled...within a day. Damn I am pissed. Projects were falling apart left and right yesterday (and of course its Mr. Porsche's work.....how sucky is that. I am not telling him and eating the cost of some of it)...nothing is worse than looking incompetent especially to a lover.

The presentation I put together....posted the wrong one online for all to see.......makes me look like an idiot (for perfection, I submitted one that certain graphics were reversed so if it printed out, it would look better......idiot!!) And then my son has been lying to me about school. He is failing. I am so upset that he lied to me. Not a good situation.

And sexually, not a word from MM. Mr. Porsche is busy and the new single rock star...is a little standoff ish. I am used to someone persuing me. He claims that he doesn't call because of my married situation. I don't believe that. I think there is different rules for single people....proper etiquette for dating and quite frankly I don't know the rules.

With a married man, we talk sex, lust, what we want, our desires. The cards are on the table. Oh we talk about the weather and life but with single men, its different. It is in a way boring..lol

A new married officer has popped into the picture. He's cute and pursuing me big time. He's turning me on tremendously. Aaah......another Mr Government. Special Investigations is such a turn on.....he's very sexual, he's very into everything.....I am very turned on by our conversations..

Okay, so have you guessed it? The cloud 9 euphoria is gone and I spent the day crying. I am going to focus on work the rest of the week until I am off on business. I hope to be able to blog from there.....with super juicy stories.....yes, I am on the hunt. Watch out Vegas, I am coming to town!!

Single Rock Star

Single Rock Star is guy who I thought was a womanizer. Never married, in a band and his profile said exactly what a woman likes to hear. His profile pulled me in. Saying how he is tired of eating chinese alone and how he's not looking for a barbie doll. He cares about chemistry but its the inner soul that counts as well. Gotta be an attraction, but gotta be more.

We joked back and forth and he basically had said it was up to me. With me being married, I was in the drivers seat. Okay, we talked a lot during the week. And I decided to meet him for coffee yesterday. Really test him and take him shopping first at the local bedding store where I had an errand to do. MM would have never did such a thing (most men wouldn't) but since we were going to meet half way.....and I had to make a return at this store that was half way...and I didn't know of a restaurant place around there...I basically said...meet me there. Ironically, that is MM's town. Single Rock Star recommended it.....and I said screw it. Its a big town (I didn't run into him).

Anyway, we met in the store and we went comforter shopping. He needed a comforter too so we had fun picking one out for his bed. That's one thing about me. If I connect with someone, it doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing--it can be fun. And so we went through the store......not soft enough, not warm enough, not manly enough....lay down on this sample...and if we were in it together? Hey, it is our first meeting but if there is a chance I do get to touch this comforter and nap with it...I want to make sure its comfortable..lol We picked out the same type but different colors....(how romantic! Lol)

We then walked across the street to the bookstore and grabbed a cup of coffee. I wasn't sure if he was into me. Was he laid back or being polite? We started talkking about other people we have met online and some meetings. And I asked him if it doesn't work out, what do you say. He says he says it right there. Face to face. If you know you aren't going to want to see the person again, you have to be honest. Oh my. Is this my blow off? We walked around the store and found two seats in the back and we talked. He wanted to know more about my life and I asked him about his. Still not sure. We were friendly, but I wasn't sure if the sparks were flying. I was physically attracted to him just not sure if we were connecting mentally. As friends we were. As more, I am not sure.

It was time to start to leave. I had to get home. It was nice. Before we got up, he looked at me and said...I would like to see you again, if you want to see me. Wow. I felt relieved and I did want to see him again. Except I am so knew to this single thing. He wants me to come over to his apartment and we know what that means. I am like a school girl. Not sure I am ready for that step. I say, that I will try to see him this week. I inform him that I am not single, nor do I know the proper etiquette of time lapse in calls or other crap like that. I call when I am thinking about you.....and he said he liked that. We kissed on the lips good by. Twice. As a joke, I called from the car as we were both pulling out. We both laughed....

Last night, I was thinking about him. He wanted to see me today. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to jump into bed with him just yet. He said that was fine. If I needed a lunch, we would lunch. but then we started to talk for over an hour. And it was from the heart. Although he seems sexually regressed. I ask him what he likes or talked about his favorite position and he shyed away from the conversation. Interesting? I felt a little dirty....And then he called me back and we talked some more. And, he told me what he was looking for. He is tired of being alone. And I told him, I can't offer you that. And honestly, if I do become single, I am not going to run to live with someone again. And I don't think I will ever marry (oh my, I sound like a man. Oh boy, I was shocked but its true. I really want to be free....at least for awhile). He said he understood that, that he knew that when we met. He liked my independence...he liked my strength but mostly he loved my attitude for life. He even offered to take a day off next week so we can spend time together.

So after talking to him today. I went from not sure to deciding, I want to be with him. I like him, I like his ways. He's not what I want long term, but right now, he is perfect.

Driving on the road today, the music blasting, I felt amazing. The light at the end of the tunnel is glowing strongly.....I am more than just content....I am fucking happy. Yes, it can all tumble in a second but for right now, today......financially things are not where I want, but heading in the right direction (oh please, I hope so)..... my marriage...well its not stopping me and thankfully he is leaving me alone and not doing anything detrimental or stupid right this minute. The house is calm.... And as far as my life. I am living it as if I were single right now. I am involved with three wonderful men, each fulfilling a part of me to make me totally happy. I am flirting with a bunch of other men...which I have to stop now because as I am writing this I got 4-5 different instant messages from men (wow, the surgeon, the uncircumsized guy, the divorce attorney who is furious with me, this other guy I don't remember and this other guy who flirted with me last week).

So I am feeling sexy and desirable....even got an email from Mr. Porsche saying he's annoyed because he had the date written down for our 1 year and he didn't look at his calendar. How damn sweet is that. Happy 1 year baby! xoxoxo Was what he wrote....

Okay off to my tub...to soak and enjoy this night. Yes, its so much better to soak when I am happy then with tears.

Telling Someone There's No Chemistry

I don't know how to do it without feeling bad. What is the best way to tell someone, it's just not a match? I like people. I like men and I don't like hurting someone because I don't like getting hurt. But the reality, I am not looking to sleep with 10 men at a time (and someone I am not attracted to).

For a woman, it's overwhelming these online sites. You go on and men are emailing, IMing, you end up after 2 hours having spoken to 3 men and answered email from another 6. I know you are saying...poor women.....but it is confusing. There is always the thought that the next one may be the perfect one. And if you ignore his IM, he might get away.

I met Single Rock Star (we will call him that because he is a guitar player as well as a career. But he plays in a band on weekends). I will get into our meeting in my next post (it deserves an exclusive!!) Anyway, I asked him what was the best way to tell a guy and he said...be honest. So I did that....a guy was not really attractive to me. No hair on his head and too much on his face. That's just me. I like goatees but his guy had a funky moustache and overgrown beard. Anyway, I told him it was nothing personal, I didn't see us together. And he wrote me back and reamed me. Geez.....

Another guy, I emailed back and forth. He was nice, we had some chemistry and I was physically attracted to his pix. However, there were a couple of things that didn't do it for me. First, he weight in at 145 lbs. Well here's the thing...I can't be with a man that is the same weight as me. It makes me feel like an elephant. So, I would not be sexually comfortable in that situation. BUT, I felt I would be open..its my hang up....he says he likes women who are curvy not boards. then there is the uncircumsized thing. I don't know what to do with a cock that hasn't been circumsized. Is the blow job the same? I admit it. I have never been with an uncircumsized cock. I've seen pix...but I love wrapping my tongue around the head...I love the head of a cock...so this threw me a little. And then, the final...I spoke to him. He had a heavy accent. None of these alone would probably throw me but all three....I am not feeling it. So, I told him tonight that I had a thing with the weight (which is probably the biggest for me). Well, he begged and told me that he never felt such chemistry. He begged me to meet him, please give him a chance. Crap.....I am not good at this.

so what is the best way to say its not going to work? I have left distance between emails. I have not answered two emails. I am still trying to lose the other Single Guy (who BTW, lost his job) and the garbage man. I am probably being too nice but I don't like to hurt people. I am obviously doing something wrong.

A Strange Day

Today I looked good. A cute little lace white top, my sexy heels and a cute jacket. I felt good and I couldn't get a man to see me...lol Mr. Porsche and I were suppose to meet up (possibly three times today) and none worked out. With my schedule, I have flexibility so I was attempting to work my day around him. At one point we were about 4minutes away and he said I don't have time now. It's not exactly what he said..(except I traveled 20 minutes to get there) it was how he barked it at me. I guess I knew it wasn't at me but the stress he was under and the frustration not being able to meet me--but he did bark at me. I really just wanted to make his day...I wanted him to pull off the highway, I would jump out and kiss him and we would go our separate ways. A kiss if care and support. I felt like an ass. So now I said "Fine, I don't even want to kiss you." And I hung up.


I am tired of trying to be nice...I was furious with my self. I am not going to talk to him to next week. Fuck him....fuck his attitude. And I drove really annoyed. He waited, he waited 15 minutes (knowing I might calm down a little by then. Yes I did). normally I wouldn't pick up but let it go to the machine. I thought about it but decided to pick up. And on the other side was Wow...you picked up. You usually don't pick up (I had to laugh, he knows me so well)....And he started to apologize.

Now this is what I really love about him. He admits when he is wrong and not only does he apologize but he says why he is apologize. He doesn't do a blanket "I am sorry". He targets on exactly why he knows I am upset. I am sorry for blowing up at you. You were truly going out of your way and I appreciate it when you do that. I was under a lot of pressure today but I really wanted to see you. Don't be mad baby.....I know I was wrong. What more could I ask for? That's the thing about me. If someone acknowledges that they hurt my feelings and truly feel bad about it....I drop it. Although he does know that I am not going to go out of my way this week. That he is going to have to do some compromising of his own. I will bend, but not completely backwards.

We spoke a little more. He is a truly good person. I do care about him. It's one year for us... so I sent him the original note I sent him a year ago....our first email...and I wrote...you made me smile that very first day and I have been smiling ever since. Thank you for a wonderful year!

I'm behind on my posts......I met single guy yesterday. More to come.....

The gentleman who commented have a good point. And it amazes me how just from my blog posts you can feel my mood. Feel my contentment. Yes, I am content. Yes, I am happy. I have Mr. Porsche who fulfills me in so many ways. But he doesn't go into the emotion section. He's a pussycat in his own way but he's a toughee. Type A controlling all the way. I do soften him and he has admitted that it does surprise him how he cares about me.

Mystery Man......its that part of me that was void....that he fulfills. That making love part feels so goood. that soft, sweet, gentle sex that we had...the connection that I long for. He does give me that. So having him back in my life (even if it was for a day)...fills my heart and voids.

The new man. Seems to pick up where MM stops. He is the newness, the future potential. He is very nice, respectful...I like him. I don't think he's the womanizer that I thought he was but we will see.

So....right this moment....I am definitely content. Emotionally, physically and mentally. And it certainly helps that my career seems to be getting on track. I put a proposal that would make me an additional $26,000 next year. And a new potential client and then this big convention --I have opportunity. So if I can close all that up.....financially I will be securer. Something that would certainly make me more content and help out so badly. Make those horrible anxiety nights lessen. I know money doesn't buy happiness. But when you are in financial trouble, it lcertainly can worsen your frame of mind and cause inner turmoil. And mostly, I am proud of myself. If I can pull this off.....yes, I did it myself.

So Cheri is a happy, overworked but inner peace is so damn wonderful. And when a day starts to slip...I have my flashbacks of MM going deep inside of me and Mr. Porsche whispering in my ear as he goes deep inside me....or looking up to seeing MM's smiling face as I am sucking his cock......Umm...I think you get it. Damn, now I am horny.....lol

Balance with Three Men

Well the whirlwind in my head as stopped. And surprisingly what is left is calm and balance. Knowing who Mystery Man is, changes nothing except I feel calmer inside. If he's gone, he's gone and there is nothing I can do. The anger has passed, the betrayal that I felt. All I had was his first name and that wasn't it. I am worried about the Linked In but I can't do anything about it. It is what it is.

So why did I need to know who he was? Especially since I don't plan on doing anything with it. I am not sure if it was to make him real, a connection in my head or if it was just a control thing. Having his name has put him in a place in the universe. Before it was as if he only appearred in Paradise. As if he was the devil who came in and vanished into the air. Then of course there is the control issue. He has been controlling this relationship since day one. Nothing will change except for the fact that now I have a control in my head. Who know, I feel better. And now that the dust has passed, I do hope he will be back again. I so enjoy our times together.

So am I addicted to sex? Actually MM asked me that...I lied and said...well I would have shriveled up and died since I haven't seen you (I seemed to have left out Mr. Porsche..lol). And then today, Mr. Porsche and I were talking. He went to a strip club last night. I don't understand the concept. He took a client out and said he didn't enjoy it. He did have a massage and he bought the client a lap dance. I love busting his chops. He gets a kick out of my spunk--I think because I am so tough in day to day and he has such control in the bedroom. The more I challenge him in day to day life....the hotter our sex is in the bedroom. I don't remember the context but we were talking about swallowing cum (most talk about the weather, we talk about swallowing). He said I was your first...I said if you want to believe that...and laughed. And what was that laugh, he said. Somehow the convo went to others....he always says he wouldn't be jealous... well, I was testing you he said. I thought it doesn't matter if I am with someone else? As long as you are happy, I don't care...was his answer. IT was that laugh, he said. Oh no..I must have given a giggle....like I have a secret. He suspects now...that's ok

And then there is a new guy. I am not sure if I told you about him. We spoke the other night online and then I spoke to him for an hour on the phone. He said we will take it as slow as I need to. He was the suave talking man....the suave talking single man I think I told you about. the one who wrote EXACTLY what a girl wanted to hear.......not being alone anymore etc. etc. Well oh well, he is turning into a real pleasant surprise....we spoke again today for 2 hours. I like him. He's funny, he's interesting and we seem to enjoy each other. He's not cocky at all. He's actually very independent and sweet. He has never been married so he doesn't need a woman....he's content single. He's fine with my situation and he actually gets it....concerned with when I can meet. Asking about my life. I enjoyed our conversation. And the undertone has been beginning to get a little sexual tone.

It's up to me. when do you want to meet? It's going to have to be next week. He's like ok. So we will see.

Three men.....am I a sexaholic or am I just trying so hard to fulfill my life and make it happy. Three men....another woman would be in heaven. I am in a good place...but I think I am wishing I was single and loving life.

Mystery Man and I Escape to Paradise

Today was an insane day. I don't even know where to begin. It's as if my whole world was tilted. Ever have one of those days where you are emotionally drained and mentally confused? Well that's today.

I met Mystery Man at our regular hotel. I walked in and he looked as delicious as usual. A little frail (like stress has been getting to him). His personality not as cocky, he was slightly more mellow but sweet. Looking at me, he had a twinkle and sparkle in his eye. My body wanted him, my mind agreed....it was awkward a little.....there were walls up especially for me. But when he reached out for me.....and took his finger and traced my face and my lips.....our connection, re-connected to a point. He gently kissed me and then he pulled me close...we hugged each other tight....and stood there I just wanted to absorb him into my soul.

The sex was great. We did our usual 12 position....lol. I came and so did he. From behind, with my legs in the air, from the side, off the bed on the bed. And I sucked on his cock like never before.....honestly, when we used to meet, I just knew what to do. There was a little unfamiliarity today....an awkwardness....me trying to remember what he likes. It took awhile but like riding a bicycle...you seem to not forget.

We talked, we laughed and we held each other. I wanted him to open up. He told me that he knew I was there for him, he just couldn't right now. Okay.....I teased him to make him laugh and then we laid in each others arms and held each other. It felt so right....in my baby's arms.

And then.....we gently began to kiss and hold each other and the gentleness and closeness was undescribable. We made love. It was slow, it was hot....our emotions in it, the gentleness...I felt like it was a dream. Our hands entwined as our bodies we too. As he was inside of me, we held onto each other with our bodies together. It has been sooo long since I made love to someone...the emotions were way too intense. I came, he came and then we lied there and held each other.

It was time to go and now...I surprised myself. The anger and tears I felt were even a surprise to me. I just looked at him and said "is this good by? are you going to disappear a gain?" It was the wrong thing to say...and I had wished I didn't say it but I did. The look on his face "this is the way I am...I can't promise you anything". Well thats not the answer I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that I don't ask anything from you. I only know your first name, I only ask that I have the security that we will see each other again. That I can have my Cloud 9 for a day. I backed off a little. But it was at that moment that i felt, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't even have the chance to enjoy what we just had because I am sad that it will never happen again. I need to feel like it is it. And that makes me sad and angry that he can't give just a little. we kissed good by.....it was good but a little strained. I held him like I would never hold him again...and I walked out. I couldn't go home. I sat in Starbucks and thought. Time with him is truly paradise. The sex today was something everyone should experience. And I deserve to be made love to like that....it felt so good.

And just when I thought I was emotionally spent. I get home to my email. you see yesterday I thought it was over. I said I wanted closure. So I decided, if I knew who he was....then I would be able to close the book and move on. Having his name, where he lived would give me peace of mind. So, I did something terrible. I went online and had his license plate traced. There was an email when I got home, I figured the search would come up nothing...that it was a scam. I opened it up and the information was there. I now know where he lives and his name. Okay, here's the thing that is blowing my mind.....for over 1 1/2 years I have been having an affair with a man that I thought his name was one thing and truth his....that's his middle name. So in the moment of passion when I scream out his name...its not his real name but his middle name. Can you fucking believe this?!?!?!?!? I feel like such a fool. I did a google and in the heat of the moment I screwed up and went to his Linked In page. Idiot...I didn't realize I was signed in. It took me right to his page AND it is going to show my name and that I found him. I am in trouble....

But I am shocked tonight. His career is what he says. I kind of knew where he lived. Whatever else he told me was true...he hardly told me nothing anyway. I feel like a fool. Well the shit hit the fan because even though I hid my profile on Linked in, I will still show up as viewing his profile. In addition, his name....the one I say as I am orgasming....is not his name. I am having a hard time with that. But the sex today....I have never felt so amazing....feel so connected...feel so good. Oh man....what do I do? I am going into the bath....have a good cry. I can't even talk to my family..I am in shock.

Mystery Man Emails and Calls

It's as if he knows when I have given up. When he's just about to lose me. When I decided this weekend that I have to make my own closure. When I have begun to hate him.....he emails me.

"Ribbit. Call me now. 2:30, Paradise. Don't blow it. or then again blow it and make it all sticky and wet"

Now, we all know that I should have emailed back--- Fuck you! But I couldn't. I called. He sounded amazing but I could feel my guard was up. He's going through some shit now..didn't go into details but he hinted. I'm not playing with a full deck, he said.

My response, well either am I but maybe I have the cards you need to complete it.....

Aahh...I am off. I am doing what I shouldn't do....meet him!

Addicted To Men

I admit it. I am addicted to flirting with men online. I knew this was going to happen. I had accepted that Mystery Man is gone. The emptiness inside is deep. Kind of feels like an empty pit. You see, he gave me that flirting that interaction that Mr. Porsche doesn't. I miss that back and forth sexual emails. So I had to go out and find some new frogs...in search once again for Mr. Married Prince Charming.

However, I over did it. I have been flirting with so many men the past few days, I can't even keep them straight. I know that is bad. I am going to stop to sort them out. I mean there are two men with the same name. And quite frankly, these men don't want to just flirt and see if it goes anywhere....they want to meet. So I have three men who want to meet me this week. I have to confess, I love when I send a man my picture and he says WOW and today that happened three times. My ego is bruised having lost MM. I am not feeling attractive so I feel alittle better when a guy sees my pix and says I am beautiful or hot or have a sexy smile. If only I could believe it.

There is this one single guy who I have been flirting with all weekend. He seems like a gentleman and we talked on the phone earlier. I like him and he's good looking. Not sure where it is going to go....or what. But he seems like a nice guy and he really wants to meet me. He is a gentleman though and I like that. On your terms, at your speed. Nice words....

Did I tell you I was heading out of town in a few weeks for business? I am soooo psyched. I was asked to present at a big conference. Yeah, you must be laughing because you don't know that side of me....lol I am actually a professional and pretty good at what I do. They asked one person in my specialty from around the country and it was me! I am hoping this opportunity will open up some doors for me financially. I am feeling really good about this. I feel like this is going to be my big break.......wish me luck!

Okay, off to bed...sweet wet dreams!! Have a great week...xoxo

What not to do on the dating sites!

I have been working hard but as I said, I am beginning to be pulled in with this online flirting again. Damn, it's so addicting. I love to browse the pix (yes, surprisingly, on the singles sites the married men put their picture....now that is weird).

Anyway, I have been browsing and looking at all the hotties. As you know, I find it easy to communicate with people.... I got the gab...lol But I have to tell you, these single sites are very different from the married ones. I like Ashley Madison much better.

The impression I get is these guys have been lead on and are tired of building up any connection. Now I understand that to a point but when you start barking out after an email or two...dude, you need to relax. The truth is, each woman is different. Just because 10 have been idiots, doesn't mean the 11th is. Aren't you just looking for a few good eggs (or even one?)

Well tonight I met this guy. 38 years old, a hottie (I admit) and we were doing great conversing for a few back and forth emails. Then he told me about all the women who were losers, two he was attracted to but never got to a second session with them. I'm not here to date...did you notice I said session? Okay, let me be brutally honest. I am not looking to get married. Send me a pix, I mean you are older than me and I am a great catch! I am one phony away from shutting off my profile....

Can you say balls? Now you have to know that I was laughing and an asshole like this, I don't need in my life. So I basically wrote back a nice note but filled with digs (which I am sure he didn't like)....

" Baby doll, you have to learn to relax a little....I mean you haven't even sessioned before....lol"

"If you noticed, I am married darling, got a husband and don't want another one...now or in the future"

"My age? Sweetie, I have met men younger than you and older than you. had a long affair with someone your young age for over a year."

And darlin, I am an independent, successful woman who doesn't NEED a man but WANTS the right man to share time with. Mature, sophisticated and one that can handle that I am not a child but an independent equal in life and in the bedroom....

I think I scared him...I wrote if you can handle a friendship with a REAL catch then email me and I'll send a pix. hehehehe

Sadly, most of the men are bitter on there. If you aren't interested, let me know right away so I don't waste my time emailing you....oh that is roinmantic and really makes me want to be with you. I mean one guy, I signed on and read his email and then had to finish work. 10 minutes later, he emailed me with a vicious note....WOOOOOO!!

I have been going back and forth with four other guys. Nothing hot yet, the Single womanizer is heating up a little. And just when I thought Mr. Howard Stern Single Guy was gone..he has been calling to meet me and emailing.

So many men, so little time. And if I were single......I wouldn't have any...lol

So Cheri's advice....relax....don't jump down a girls throat and leave your past psycho baggage at the email door.....

Sweet dreams baby!

Passing the Time, Flirting Online

Yes, I am back on the married but looking dating sites. It pulls you in. It gives you a little glimmer in your heart. Nothing is like flirting and having fun. First you start looking, then you meet someone, start flirting and POOF....your back in the game!

I met a bunch of interesting characters (and a few potentials). But here are two unique approaches, one I recommend, one I don't!

I'm a hot looking, single man who just wants to find a woman who I care about. Yes, he goes on to list all the things that he is tired of and wants to share (bringing out the motherly side of a woman...awww, I want to make this hottie feel better. Pretty good, a woman's guard goes down. She now has a mission, not realizing he's pulling her in). Then he proceeds to say how we all aren't perfect, we try our best to keep in shape but its okay if we aren't barbie dolls--its the inner person that counts (wow, he is really gooood. Every woman over 30 knows her imperfection. Now he's got ya)...

He has 23 woman who have listed him on their favorites list (come on, how lonely is he!?!). I had to test the waters. Told him he was a hottie but I was married so I didn't fit his description. Aah, the player answered. That it's okay if I am married....we all need to burn those calories, why not do it together. Saying how its no fun doing it alone....he can't be celibate forever. LOL!! Can you say An Excellent, Smooth Talking PLAYA!!!! LOL I read the note and will give him a day or two to chill before I answer. Of course I teased him in my last note......damn, a shark....you could eat a sweet little guppy like me for a snack (hehehehe.....have you ever thought of me as a guppy?!). His response..... he would make me a meal...okay, I am enjoying out flirtations...

And then, a supposed doctor in another state. He was good looking, I added him to favorites. His first email, I should live adventurous...he had a convention in Puerto Rico in November--I should join him. He would pay for my flight and accomodations. Oh, okay. First, you've never seen me or talked to me but you want to take me away? Are there woman that stupid out there? Sure, I don't know you, never spoke with you....let's have coffee in Puerto Rico. I was blown away from this man. He's either a desperate, naive man or a serial killer. I do not recommend this approach...LOL

Mr. Porsche has been sick...poor baby. Mr. Howard Stern Single Guy wrote to me. I was kind of hoping that he would forget about me. He didn't, wants to see me again.

So I am back online....loving the mental masturbation and stimulation! A few more men I did find but no one that WOWed me. I miss MM. But truth is, the anger is starting to come and that's good. The anger will begin to heal my heart. The walls are going up....the depression will leave with the tears. I sulked enough, I need to accept and move on. I have been avoiding the reality..I don't have time for a MM meltdown right now.

Affairs, affairs...My friends and affairs

Nothing beats hanging out with friends and laughing. Had dinner with my girlfriends last night and we drank and just laughed. Laughed about where we are in life. Laughed about how pathetic life is and laughed how unhappy we all are with our marriages. Mind you, the hubbies were only one room over. My situation is common knowledge amongst these friends (yes, my extracurricular activities are known by one and the other two, well they know but its unspoken). Howling about the UPS guy, who my girlfriend has also. We were talking about his hot ass and sexy smile. How pathetic. Typical surburban housewives....bad marriages.....sexually horny but not for the hubbies. One of my girlfriends is sitting on the fence. The whole night we were talking in quick witted jokes about affairs. When everyone was gone, she looked at me and said. "You know I wish I had the balls to have an affair." I smiled. She knows, she was baiting me. "And you think an affair is the answer?" I said with a smirk as I drank my wine.

"Well, you are either having a great sex , heavily sedated or you just lost your mind. Look how you have a content look with all the shit going on". I just laughed and smiled and drank more wine. She's itching for an affair and she's certainly pretty enough and has that independence men love. The right man and she would be having wild sex in a minute....lol

It's so nice catching up with old friends. Lately I have been re-connecting with old friends and childhood friends. Surrounding myself with a familiarity that makes me comfortable.

On another note that is scaring me to death. I realize now I have 3 years. I noticed a very bad change in my mom. Knowing too much, I see personality changes, forgetfullness and other things that I have wished I was wrong. But I am not. My worst fears are coming true. An only child, I have the responsibility of the world on my shoulder. Drinking with my friends, I looked at them and half serious and half laughing said 'I wish I could remember that other life that I am being tortured in this life for. I must have really been a sinful soul". Yes, that is when we pulled out the vodka shots to truly ease the pain. And take us back down memory lane where we were laughing so hard we almost peed in our pants.

And as for the Frogs...reality has set in. Mystery Man is gone. It's time for me to start healing again. Yes, I didn't want to close the door but I am going to have to.. However, I will not leave on the Mystery Man note. You see, I refuse to allow him to have the upper hand. I need to know who he was. I need to know where he is in the world and then I will let it go....put him in my perfect memories but with a full name and address. No stalking but some closure for me. How am I going to do this? Let's just say I asked a friend to give me a hand. Hopefully, they will do the favor.

And on a sadder note (yeah sadder). I went back on Ashley Madison, Plenty of Fish and Philanderers. And came up with no one who I had to have. Oh, if you count a 27 year old hottie whose into older women. I felt like a grandmother. So now what?

A Wish Upon A Star

Over the top. Yes, this time I went over the top and I know I shouldn't have sent it BUT it's what I have been feeling. I regret not being my usual PITA self because now I feel like he is gone. Although, there is a part of me that is still in denial. I keep thinking he is going to return. I want him back or I need to accept he is gone forever (which is going to kill me).

So read this.....and I know its over the top but I had to send it. One last outreach for the man who knows just how to make me feel the best I have ever felt.


A Wish Upon A Star.......

She looked up into the sky and made a wish.....a wish that her Mystery Man would return to her. Flashbacks of their visits to paradise. Seeing his smiling face as she looks up from sucking his cock and a smile that comes to his face. Flashbacks of so many wonderful memories that warmed her heart and make her giggle....Every meeting was fun and memorable. Every meeting he brought balance to her life by fulfilling the emptiness she felt inside. She didn't know him but yet she knew him well. This man knew how to sexually please her, make her laugh with the same warped sense of humor and gave so much to her..more than he knew.

She made a mistake. She wanted to be there for him but he seemed to need his time. Unlike her usual PITA self, she did give him his space and in the process she thinks she lost him. Has he forgotten their times together? Has he move on and forgot to tell her? Is he okay? They made a promise....unless he was dead, then he couldn't answer but otherwise he would. She hates the emptiness and truly misses his lips, his smile (his cock!)

So, what should she do? More than anything she wants to feel him inside of her. She misses the frog! She misses his quick wit. Is he okay? Is he willing to see her again? She hesitates to send this note but she always told him what was on her mind. Her inner soul she was able to share with this Mystery Man whatever was on her mind. There was no judging or pressure, there was always hapiness and a good friend.

So, she decides to send the note....and hope that he will respond and be able to return to her arms and she can feel his lips again.......

Date With Single Guy

Sometimes I am amazed how you can get someones personality online and be so right on. Is it something that comes with experience (an online dating professional..lol) or is it something that is within yourself.

I met Mr. Howard Stern Single Guy and he was exactly what I had thought he was. He was a nice person, we professionally had a lot in common but sexually, I didn't feel the chemistry. His head seemed too small for his body...no, that isn't my first impression or why I didn't feel chemistry, as I am blogging his face popped into my head and that was my thoughts.

We talked business, we talked life and quite frankly, he's not my type. Not one specific thing but a bunch of things AND.... he reminds me of my husband. OOOOOOOO!!!! Not Good!

He's too immature for me. Still haven't found himself in business. Which is fine except its not like he found himself and then is looking again. He's not motivated. He's stuck in his 20's. The clincher for me is that he is still rooming with his brother. He was good looking and a phenomenal body (he's a gym rat) but as I always say--mental stimulation is a key component for me (and this guy doesn't stimulate me).

He said the right things (that I was even more gorgeous in person....a girl loves to hear that). And he was really into me saying how this was the best date he's had in awhile. WE had fun. Went to a local restaurant and laughed and talked but he was more like a good buddy. I was glad that I made the rules--no sexual contact on the first date. His last Ashley encounter he didn't want to kiss the woman but felt obligated because she really wanted to. Well I told him...I don't want any Mercy Kisses so absolutely no contact when we meet so there is no obligation.....

So I was flattered that a guy with such an amazin body and cute would be into me. But I realize now, he was good for when I was 20 not over 40. I didn't even have to urge to do the Cheri Check (you know, brush up against his cock to make sure that it was hard). I admit, I did look though and he did have a hard on so I felt good.

I think we will be able to do business together but sexually, I wasn't into it. Cie la vie....there were worse ways a girl could spend her evening. OH, I was laughing because blogging came up. He said he didn't understand why someone would blog and keep an online journal. Who cares what someone else had for breakfast? How could someone write almost everyday about their life and still find stuff to write about? I giggled and agreed with him (hehehehe). Well, let's see. I have found stuff to write about for three years now and have had over 255,000 views to my blog so I guess someone cares what I have had for breakfast or at least the cocks I love to eat for desserts!! (I had a croissant with a cup of coffee for those who wanted to know my breakfast for the day!!--lol)

Sex with Fun Toys

Today was fun. I met Mr. Porsche and we had a great time. The more deviant our behavior, the harder he gets. If we screw even with my feet in the air, the eye connection makes him go limp. It's the offbeat sex with the butt plug, toys and the nipples arousal that makes him hot. Yes, he loves it went I talk dirty to him, he loves to spank me and he loves to stick his cock deep inside of me, from behind, while the butt plug is inside of me.


He loves to hear me moan and he loves to watch me masturbate. Seeing me getting close to orgasm makes him hot and hard. That new toy he bought, oh my oh my. With my tilted uterus that baby gets right to the spot. How he knows that he has gotten to the perfect location drives me wild. How does he know? He claims that he can feel my body react and see the expression and the way I have a certain look of euphoria which he says I look gorgeous and like an angel when I get that look. He's so good to me.

We did have one little issue, the condom broke. Yikes! I am not worried about disease but pregnancy is something else. I did the morning after pill because it was my 14th day of the cycle and the last thing we need is drama in our lives. He says he wasn't worried (but when he mentioned it, it had to be in his mind). I took care of it.....done. No more kids for me.

We laid in each others arms and it was so nice. I hate when it ends. Nothing is more fulfilling to me then lying in a man's arms after excellent sex. Caressing his body

New Underwear Style-Oh the cheating Underwear

About two weeks ago, I saw the hubby standing in his stretched out fruit of the loom underwear. Thinking to myself, oh he is definitely not cheating with those underwear. So yesterday, I noticed he had on new underwear. Hmmm...yes, the underwear that Mystery Man wears. All new designs, colors and not the white ones.

So I never thought about it. New underwear, another potential sign of a cheating spouse. All my underwear and bras are Fredericks now. Matching colors, sexy bras--yes, they are for my frogs BUT they are also for me. Is that the same for men? Unless someone is going to see your underwear, I don't really thing men care to change the style they have been wearing for over 30 years.

I had fallen into a lull. Waiting till after I had my big business meeting and approved plans for next year before I did anything. But after the financial thing and the underwear and him taking money from my wallet the other day...(before the financial thing happened) I am totally disgusted and dont feel bad. He's coming home (probably going to the gym or meeting someone) at night after work (he's always late). Not helping out at home. No, a zebra doesn't change his stripes (isn't that the saying?!)

Single Guy May Be Single For A Reason

I had a long talk with Single Guy yesterday. Really nice guy. We have a lot in common. But the more we talked, the more I thought, this guy is probably not for me. Still looking for himself at 43 in a way. His last girlfriend was 28. Right there and then I say, this guy never grew up. Why? He didn't want to get married because he was still finding himself. Okay, at 43 you should have found yourself once or twice. At this point, I can buy that you lost yourself due to family and kids or the early onset of alzheimers..but if you have been single your whole life and still haven't found yourself..what have you been doing for the last 20 years?

He's a gym rat. He's smart but lacks that motivation that I crave. His career is still not where he wants it to be. And he is obsessed with Howard Stern. Good sense of humor. We have a lot in common from a work perspective. But I don't think he's for me on a sexual level. Why? I am looking for a man who knows who he is. I already have a man who has no idea who he is.

Another hubby screw up came in last night. I was laying on the bed, unwinding from the day. And the hubby says his checking account was overdrawn $25. I am lying there thinking why can't the man handle a checking account and where is the money he promised me? But he is bouncing around the room a little too much. He comes back a 15 minutes later and brings it up again but this time I hear correctly..... $25,000 lien was placed on his account. My stomach sinks and I run for my computer. Did they freeze my accounts too?!?! No. We have nothing joint anymore. Hopefully this is the one bill that he knew he had outstanding (they already put a lien on the house years ago). If its something new, I am going to flip! I am already flipping.

I feel bad for him. He's really bummed. But I told him again. I need to be financially separated from him including the house. I need to move ahead. I need to take care of my children. So I think I need to file the separation papers for that alone.

Mr. Porsche and I are really connecting. Great sex does that to you. It's so exhilirating. Plus, he is having major issues with his company. So I give him direction as well as give him an escape. Which is great. for a while, he was closing down and I was on the outside. Now, he is embracing our connection.

That new toy he bought..I can't wait to feel it inside of me again. That was wild. I love that mindblowing sex. Just what we all need for relief. I am so happy to have it in my life. We all should have it in our lives. And to think, I never had an orgasm worth talking about except for the last three years. I can't believe how much I have been missing. Meeting Mr. Porsche on Monday or Tuesday. Meeting single guy on Tuesday or Wednesday! Now this is going to be an interesting week!

Howard Stern Single Guy

yes, I call him that because he has this weird obsession with Howard Stern. He is a loyal fan. Now I like Stern, don't get me wrong. I'm not really a regular listener but I personally find him very amusing and funny (his guests, well that's something different). However, I am not obsessed with him or anyone else for that matter. So we need to monitor the Howard Stern thing. I feel like maybe he needs to grow up...Only possible red flag so far...

From an email perspective, he is so entertaining. Yes, he comes out with those funny comments that Mystery Man used to make me laugh with. Okay, not as sexual and hot...but none the less funny. I asked him his favorite position and he referred to having similiar favorites as Lassie (yes, doggie...!!) And then I asked him if he had a telephone. His response. Funny I should ask, He actually just got a phone and did away with the carrier pidgeons...too expensive to feed and kept crapping on his car. Now, that made me giggle. I love that!

What I reminded myself is that I love creativity, wittiness and a great sense of humor mixed with sexuality. Yes, I love talking about how a man is going to get me to orgasm but quite frankly, you gotta have more. Mental masturbation.....I find that hot. A man with a brain...very hot. It excites me. Its a combination.

Well I don't know if all women are like me, but a Ashley hint.....don't start with all the generic dirty talk. Unless a woman is new to the Ashley site, its not creative. Mix fun talk with dirty talk....make it personalized. The ice cube story.....oh it is hot but quite frankly it was hotter when Mystery Man did it to me.....Walk the Talk baby!!

Okay, I am feeling sooooo much better. Man, I was a wreck. No pain killers today so I can function. Good thing I don't go back and read my posts. I do not even know what I wrote. LOL

Have a great day!! Woo Hoo! My heart is smiling a little bit. I needed some flirting and the construction guys looking at me as I walked by. Yes, the little things make a old lady like me feel hot!! lol

Two very different men

Been having this great talks with two new men. One is extremely sexual and it was turning me off a little. I like to get to know someone. Well after the ice cubes and writing letters on my body, we got down to talking a little about the people we are. It was great. I started to really like IMing him. We started to discuss meeting for coffee. Everything was perfect and then I said..wait, I haven't heard your voice yet. And he wouldn't call me. He said I would have to take a leap of faith. Phone records can be traced. Hmmm....yes, cell phone records but he could call me from his office. One local call is not going to set off any red flags. He refused. I told him I had to think about it. I felt my big leap was giving my number. He wouldn't bend on that. I told him I would think about it overnight but I already have my answer. I told him that I have played that Mystery Man game before and I won't do it again. I would let him know tomorrow. We signed off (he actually signed on just now for a second). Well I am holding to my guns. Not going down that path again and I don't think a call is unreasonable. It doesn't feel right so I am not going to do it.

As for single guy. Well here's the thing. We are having fantastic emails. And on the reverse side, they aren't sexual but about us.....work, favorite color...basic things. Yes, me, Cheri, does not know how to get him to the sexual side. do you not do that with single men? Is there another handbook I should be reading? I feel like a little kid with him. Nervous...excited....he mentioned a boob picture as a joke and then apologized about it. A true gentleman...now I need to get him to a sexual point. So tonight I said...I know your favorite color, now the questions get a little harder..... what is your favorite position? If he sends me back second base..I know there's no hope.

Maybe I don't know how to date single men. Is it like going back and being prim and proper and not sensual? I can do that....but I love the flirting and sensual chemistry. My oh my...something totally new to me. A man who doesn't even flirt too much in his emails. this is fun

Waiting for Mystery Man, I was falling into a depression. Missing him so and waiting for him to return. No one likes change and I wanted what I had before--Mystery Man and Mr. Porsche. Well it wasn't happening and it hit me hard but that was good. I have to move on a little. We all know if he emails tomorrow....I want him but I am not thinking about it.

I avoided Ashley because I didn't think I could handle the rollercoaster. If you've never been on Ashley, it's like a high. All these men who are looking for the same thing.....escape, sex, fun, flirting, sensual desire. No pictures so you begin by emailing and then the excitement grows and grows and then the picture exchange. Oh how you want to be attracted to each other...but sometimes you are not and the letdown. Of course, if you like what you see, fireworks, sparks, your insides get all fulfilled and excited about the anticipation of a love affair and your sexual desires are in overdrive!! Nothing beats that beginning of an affair. That is why it is so addicting and it pulls you back. The desire is overwhelmingly delicious.

I am excited about the Single Guy. Not as excited about the other one that he immediately revoked. That shows me he is a spoiled man who gets everything he wants or very black and white on things in life.

Okay, I am back off to bed. Mouth is killing me. The comment made by Sankukai---the Old Cheri. Yeah, she is here but I have changed in so many ways due to life's circumstances. But the girl in search of Mr. Married Prince Charming is still alive.

Ashley Fun Again!

As for the comment, that I am getting a male personality.....I have said that before. How funny! Looking back at my posts from two years ago, my entire mindset was different. I was looking for someone to help me escape. My emotions were so much deeper, my fantasies so much purer. Honestly, I have a new sense of me. I was never a girl to date more than one man at a time. I was the girl who always had a boyfriend that I was faithful to. And I always had a boyfriend. That one man who I lavished in my affection. Who the sun rose and set on.

And now, my mentality is different. Having two lovers allowed me to, as they say, not put all my emotional eggs in one basket. I like the fact that these men are not available..keeps me levelheaded and realistic. I realize I stayed away from Ashley because I knew, once I went back on...with a good attitude...back to the enjoyment of the hunt...that I would find someone. It's not cocky, its the truth. Its so much easier for a woman.

And I feel like a slut a little bit. I mean two years ago, if I guy asked have you ever been blindfolded? Have you ever (whatever he asked)...my answer would have been..no but I would like to try. Now, there isn't much a man can ask that is vanilla sex that I haven't tried. Geez...I've come a long way.

So, I went back on Ashley and found two new frogs. Yes, I am communicating with both frogs by IM and email. One frog...annoyed me today (here is a man's attitude again..lol). I saw his pix and he was handsome. He asked for mine but I got sidetracked with the children and frankly I had the oral surgery and my head is throbbing. So I didn't get to send him a pix for an hour. Like a baby, he revoked my key....I sent my picture and then he came back emailing, IMing and apologizing. So I am not sure about him. Quick on that revoke button there.

And then there is the Single Guy. Oh no. I am getting scared. He gives me those tingles and makes my heart anticipate his next email. They aren't sexual, he wants to get to know me. Its nice, he's educated...we're in the same industry. I really like him. Only problem is that he is into working out....and well, you know I get self conscious about my body. But I really like him as a person. Time is going to be an issue for meeting (I can't do those late nights or weekend nights). So I don't know....he makes me smile. He gives me those exciting sensations again. I am going to give it a shot. A single guy....breaking the rules but I am excited about it.

So that's it for now. I had the oral surgery and I am in pain so I am going to go to bed. Sweet dreams, I am back alive again!

The Choice To Have An Affair

Yes, it is a choice to have an affair(s). And after that great comment, it made me think. Yes, I do allow them to have too much control. Mr. Porsche's schedule is very hectic and it is easier for me to make scheduling adjustments but he does make me nuts with his lack of giving me enough time. So with him its an actual control of when we are going to meet (and he knows it annoys me so he has to start planning a little better. It's been discussed). With him its not an if but a when.

With Mystery Man, I agree again. His coming and going is not fair to me. Popping in and popping out of my life. Here's the thing....it was good when he left this time. And even though he's truly hurting....his depression has given me the blues. And saying that, you are right. I give them too much control. Truth is, I would choose to be with Mystery Man but I don't know if he is coming back and quite frankly, now I am getting annoyed at the control factor. He can't keep coming and going into my life. It's eating me up and putting me on a rollercoaster.

So, I have made another choice. The return to window shopping on Ashley Madison. I guess its a little unfair for a woman. I know men have to work on there. And as a woman, I was on there for one hour and met two men and began flirting with the Surgeon and Mr. Electric again. The surgeon is getting on my nerves. Either we meet or forget it. It's getting played. Mr. Electric, I had blown off because of MM and Porsche. I said hello and he wants to see me again. Not sure if I want to pursue that one first. The other two....one, I had spoken to before and can't remember if his pix made me feel no chemistry. But he will send me one tomorrow.

And then there is a new guy whose pix was up and he is single. Yes, I am breaking the rules with that one. We are in similiar fields. He seems educated, pix is cute and has never been married. Which makes me a little nervous. I am breaking my rules with this one but who knows. It's worth exploring. First question, why are you are Ashley and not Match.com? He is a Howard Stern fan (hence the Ashley commercials that are on there). But we will see. I don't get that excited till it progresses. Actually, those little butterflies flittered when I emailed him back. A sign to me that maybe I am ready to return to Ashley for some window shopping (and maybe I will find a frog I just can't resist)!

Yes, no more sad moments at Fredericks. But I do need closer with MM. If I don't hear from him in the next few days....its time for the closure note.

A Sad Visit To Fredericks of Hollywood

All excited, Fredericks was having a crazy sale..... 10 undies for $10....insane. I ran over there. Yes, I picked out 20 pairs of undies. I love their underwear....I feel so sexy in them. I arrived at the store and the woman knows me there. She has helped me with my bras (which I always get such rave reviews on because they make my tits look good).

But she also knows me because she was the one who left the store tag on the corset with Mystery Man and she has helped me with many outfits. We used to have this thing where he would pick a color and I would try and find something hot and alluring in that color. Fuschia was one once and she worked l ike crazy and found a great fuschia lingerie with fishnet stockings...a big hit.

So today I went in there and was looking around. Sales on some hot looking stuff....gorgous stuff, things I would normally jump on and now they were even 50% off. I love looking through their racks for sexy, sensual outfits. She said to me "OMG! I was thinking about you last week. this corset came in that I knew you would love....let me show you! How funny that you are here today, I haven't seen you in so long!"

And then it hit me. I used to run in there weekly or every other week for either a new lingerie or black stockings or fishnet stockings or sexy, crotchless underwear...the anticipation of buying something hot for Mystery Man was like shopping foreplay for me. The adrenaline would be a rush as I would find the perfect outfit outfit for him to ravage me in.

And then as I was looking on the racks, it hit me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. He's gone. I have no one to buy these outfits for. Mr Porsche barely sees that my underwear and bra match....actually he never sees that they match. It's not his thing.

So as I stood there and loved this black crotchless and purple undies....the tears came to my eyes. I don't have him to buy this stuff for. He's gone. He's really gone this time. I think it may be forever. How sad that my trips to Fredericks doesn't have that girlish excitement but is now replaced with an empty hole. I keep thinking he was going to snap out of it but his emails have been getting less and less. It's as if I held off the pain thinking that he just needed a break. So now, I realize that my depression is my subconscious knowing the truth. The closure has got to begin. I am going to hold off till Monday before I write a note....laying it on the line....."The Talk" 'The Question"...... I need to know if he has moved on. If we are over in his head so I can begin the closure process. I want to see him one last time, even if it is a good by.

An Entertaining Search on Ashley Madison

I don't know what made me search on Ashley Madison this morning. I guess I haven't been there in awhile and honestly I wanted to see if Mystery Man had been on in awhile. I am beginning to accept that he may be gone again.....his emails here and there are just a way to keep me there. I mean he could have just changed his Ashley and opened up a new account. I would never know.

So I ended up there and of course the temptation to browse around and see what is going on was just too inviting. It's like returning to your old neighborhood and wanting to visit and see what has changed.

Ashley Madison has gotten an site change. I like it. The environment has changed on there. I am shocked by how many men have their pictures available for viewing without asking for their key. So I am wondering are they just so damn arrogant or just so stupid? There's a slew of single men so of course they can have their pix up. But these married men....HELLO?!?!? I woman is browsing and come across a guy in the neighborhood--a friends friends husband. Do you think that she isn't going to tell her friend that his picture is on the site for all to see? You see, no one is going to question why that woman was on there (that fact will be dropped) but everyone is going to go look at this guys pix. And the wife will be mortified, embarrassed in front of the neighbors and friends...instant divorce.

So now here is another scenerio...a guy who puts a little line across his eyes. LOL I mean come on, what's the point. Someone who knows you is going to know that is you! I was howling today from the browse. I wouldn't even contact these men because they are too stupid. Let's see, you are in your car (oh no one would notice the car and you have a tiny line that just hides your pupil) LMAO.....

Or this one....and here's a lesson dear people. If you have any computer knowledge, you can copy the pictures on all these sites especially the ones that are visible with no keys. Hmmm...let's see.....how many men have this tattoo? Don't you think your wife knows the tattoo and all your friends know it? Show your face at this point...actually I thought this was on his ass at first...because I couldn't figure out the body parts.....

Okay so that was my entertainment on Ashley Madison for the day. I did see some hot prospects BUT they were in the next state over. Damn, I have something for men in that state. I always am attracted to them. But I have learned, the distance is too far. Yes, I have sampled at least 6 of them...lol

Am I back on Ashley? I did leave my profile up today. Why? Well, I feel like Mystery Man is gone and I am sad. But you are saying, you have something great with Mr. Porsche? Yes, but I know he visits those massage parlors with happy endings with his friends (kind of grosses me out and I take it as an insult quite frankly). So....I feel I have a right to do what I want at this point. Keep all my options open for another lover. Now if Mystery Man came back...I would shut down immediately. Do you think he is still having issues or am I sitting here waiting for someone who is out screwing around?

I don't have the energy to actively pursue on Ashley right now. But I am leaving my profile open for a few days and see what may find me. Who knows, maybe Mr. Married Prince Charming is there now.

Ashley reminds me of shopping at the clearance rack of some of the upscale clothing places. There is crap and then there is some excellent items that are mixed in between. You have to dedicate the time to going through each and every item to find the gold find!! And, you have to go back regularly and go through that clearance rack. Once you know the items, its easy to spot the new ones so a regular visit goes quicker. You know the merchandise. Now you may laugh, but in my area, the rich Jaguars pull up in the morning and browse the racks...its a hobby for them and they get a high from finding that Escada jacket marked all the way down.....

So, I am back as if its the first visit to the clearance rack and I don't have the time to go through the items...so let's see if someone finds me.....that blonde Escada jacket just put back on the shelf! LOL

Sex On the Darker Side

Before I begin. Today is 9/11. And as I am writing the end of this post, I realized that this is the exact time that I looked at the television and saw the plan hit and then live watched the second plan hit. Eerily, the town fire alarms just went off. I truly believe it was in honor of those that were lost. My heart goes out to all those people who knew people who died. My heart goes out to all my friends who survived and those that gave their endless days to the cleanup. The things
they saw, haunt them till this day. A moment of silence and I dedicate this post to them. Because quite frankly, the gentleman that I know who are suffering with the post trauma and those that are fighting now for our country...would enjoy my rendezvous post!! God Bless America and All of Us!!

MY RENDEZVOUS WITH MR. PORSCHE

I can't exactly explain it. Mr. Porsche has this slightly deviant and experimental side of him. He loves to see how far he can push, just out of my comfort zone but on the border of where I am not sure what to think of something. Looking back, I can't believe we did that. OR I can't believe I let him do that. But at the time, it is hot, erotic and so damn sensual. Now, I can hardly type it, I begin to blush. So here goes.....no judging please! lol


I actually was calling to tell him let's meet tomorrow but he had the whole afternoon planned and revolving around our rendezvous. So, even though I was not as horny as I had been (actually very stressed and not even having time for the mental foreplay of the anticipation of our meeting) BUT I decided to go with it anyway.


We met at the local place in my area. And when I knocked he let me in and we kissed so gently like we always do. It's not the rip your clothes off with us, its more of a caring lover's kiss. I come running in kiss him, show him some work and then start yakking about the myspace story. He laughs, amused by me. I can see in his eyes that he finds me entertaining (and he can't wait to rip my clothes off)! And so he starts...."Ok....I want my favorite tits already" and he starts undressing me.....and we are kissing and talking and chatting and laughing. It's comfortable, it's fun. And then he gets up and goes for the toys. He has a bag filled with toys and he bought new ones for today. Oh no....I get nervous when he says that. I never know what to expect from him.


First, he takes out the ropes. And ties my hands behind my back. The thing about Japanese Love Ropes, they get tighter and tighter (I will explain later). You know those chinese finger tricks as a kid...the more you pulled the tighter it got. BINGO! These ropes did the same! And then he pulled out some new toy which I couldn't see but it had a different sound to it (little did I know I would have a new favorite toy after today).


As you may know, I enjoy the submissive role but a man has to earn it with me. I don't just role over and give in...I am feisty, I will push a little bit.....test the limits in a playful way. Let's face it, do you want a challenge or a girl that just rolls over and gives in? I am that challenge...just enough that I know that I am instigating him...


I first work my way to his cock and start sucking like a wild woman....with my hands behind my back tied up. Then he moves my head down to his balls and I am licking and sucking..I know he loves a rim job..and so I work my way down just to hear that moan. Now he pulls me up and lays me on my back. He takes out clothes pins and places them on each of my nipples. First he sucks them so they are nice and pointy and then he clips them.....licking and nibbling on them so the sting is a combination of pleasure and pain.


That's the thing with him. I am on the border of pleasure and pain. As he is lubbing up my clit and teasing me now with the vibrator, he is playing with my nipples. I am not sure if its pain or pleasure....or quite frankly a combination of both....his technique is to get my clit so engorged and get me to the point where I want to cum but not let me. My body starts bugging out.....the desire is overwhelming and my need to cum is uncontrollable. Yet, he is able to get me to the point where I would do almost anything to be able to cum. My body is craving that euphoric wave. My mind can't think about anything else but cumming. I need to cum, I have to cum or I might die!

But he knows my body so well. Knowing just how far to push me and then slightly pull back so I just miss the orgasm and begin to ravagely crave it. Wild like an animal almost. So now, I am not sure what he is doing but there is a different feeling....is it a new toy? No....he's positioning me so that I know it is a body part.....but quite frankly I just want to cum. To my surprise, he has put his toes inside of me.....yes, I was soooo open.......that he was able to insert his toes...it took him awhile....and trust me, I couldn't move much after because I felt so fill....and with him playing with my nipples, it was hard to concentrate on what he was putting in....but I did realize it was his foot. Suprisingly, it was erotic, it was hot and I needed to cum so badly....i found myself moaning and enjoying it. In an offbeat way, that is was something new (and new for both of us I found out later). It didn't get me to cum but the deviant act with my insides so wide..my body was going wild. And then, the new toy!

But first, he was also pulling at the clothes pins and my nipples were dying...the pain, the pleasure...my mind couldn't figure it out. And suddenly, I realized the ropes had gotten so tight that I couldn't feel my hands. My need to hold onto something, made the ropes tighter and tighter.....he took off the ropes as he continued to play with me and the feeling to my fingers began to come back...lol. And now the new toy!

Yes, a G Spot vibrator! Oh my, oh my! OH MY!!!!!! This little vibrator was able to reach my gspot and make me cum....actually, better than anything I've ever experienced. Taking the clips off my nipples, and the blood rushing to them.....was pain/pleasure beyond belief, my clit engorged and dying to get relief and then this Gspot vibrator that when he reached the spot...I let out such a moan....he knew he found it. My entire body went into spasms, the rush that went to every nerve ending and the out of body experience. I know I screamed in pleasure as very nerve ending tingled....I had a double orgasm.....my clit hit its high as he was rubbing and then he got my Gspot.....OH WOW! I collapsed.....tingling and enjoying the mindset of total peace and balance. Where I was, is the best place in the world. I wish I could bottle that high. It would be worth billions!

We laid there and cuddled. He holds me tight telling me how he has never seen my nipples get so damn erect just as I was cumming. He said it was wild to watch. I love my cuddling time....I truly love holding someone and being held. He knows that and I don't even have to tell him. He automatically pulls me into his arms. I know he loves when I take my nails and gently tickle his arm and chest, drawing lines and sensual circles. That's whats so great about knowing someones body and their likes. It feels amazing.

Well its his turn now. you know I have to return the favor. I work my way down his body. My mouth going right to his cock and deep throating him totally. I work that baby....up and down, my hands, my mouth and of course me fingers......oh, I try the Gspot in his ass but its not the same...it doesn't go in that easy so I use my finger. Yes, the magic finger knowing exactly where to put my finger. Knowing exactly where to massage and put pressure. Its amazing to be able to feel a man pulsating (as a woman does) actually a man's ass muscles pulsate like the walls of a woman when they are getting excited and about to cum. And so I work it and what gets him over the edge is his desire to see another woman with me. A threesome but more that the woman is there for me and that I am experiencing something new. I think most men think of two woman just pleasing them. Mr. Porsche gets off on the thought of seeing a woman pleasing me and the fact that he was the first to introduce a woman to me. So I go with it and start talking to him about it...teasing him. So, you want to see a woman licking my breasts and me licking hers? A woman eating me out as you watch?

And then, his body got those spasms that I just had and he came so hard. Now here's the thing. Mr. Porsche is so about control. And when he gets like that, he is out of control and its wild to him that I can take him to that place. He started to laugh, a belly laugh after he came. And all he kept saying was Yeah....oh boy....and laughing. As we laid there after, I asked him, why were you laughing so hard? Because I made him cum so hard and took him so out of his comfort zone.

A first for him, is not easy to find but when I do get him there....I feel honored. Double cum, orgasms that blow his mind. yes it is good between us. And then we laugh and held each other. I hate when its over. Funny thing, we couldn't get the shower to work so he was in this tub. It was hysterical. I took a pix and he flipped. I teased him with it and he quickly erased it. Trust-I told him. Hey you want to take pix of me? He responded...not your face for the world to see.

And then he gave me those little pecks I love so much. And we left. I got home and my body was at peace. My head where it needed to be.....and even this morning..I feel amazing. The inner balance. Divorce Attorney called to meet me today. Honey, I couldn't fool around if my life depended on it. As I tell ,y girlfriend, its a Cloud 9 Day. Balance...mmmmm....sex is such the perfect medicine! And BTW, my wrist is black and blue today..hehehehhe

The MySpace Guy Comes To Life

My life is with out a doubt.....hysterical. The ups, the downs...I don't know too many people who have such crazy things happen to them on a regular basis.

I finally made it to the oral surgeon today. Yes, I am taking care of my teeth. From looking at me, you wouldn't know I have two teeth that are 1/2 teeth in the back. Broken crowns that I was too busy taking care of my family to take care of myself. But the Cheri Fucking Fund is going to buy me some implants! Yes, I deserve to whiten my smile and get those two teeth taken care of. Okay, that's not the funny part...

I am in the surgeons office, filling out the paperwork and this guy is looking at me. My cousin is a dental assistant there so I wasn't paying much attention and was talking to her. They did an x-ray and then I hung out with her at the desk talking (I admit it, they were pushing me through so I didn't have to wait....I had a meeting with Mr. Porsche. Come on, you know how badly I needed the sex!) So this guy goes in and then he comes out when I am by the desk. He looks familiar, but I can't place him. He's staring at me. Well from behind me he says..."Yes, everything is taken care of." I know that voice. After he leaves, it goes off in my head. That is the guy from MySpace!

For those of you who may remember (or those of you who are newer)....I had met this hot, gorgeous single guy on myspace. All the women were leaving him messages and falling in love with him. He lived in the next town over. He was so interested in me and I couldn't figure out why. I mean....he was stunning. But he was heavily pursuing me. I wanted to meet but he ket avoiding it. We would talk for hours and he really was so nice and fun. Finally, I said ok, I am not your type....you are looking for a young, single girl so let's not pursue it further. Truth was, he finally admitted it....it wasn't him in the picture. He pulled the guy off of the internet. At that point, I didn't even want to know what he looked like. I felt so betrayed. He kept sending me notes, emails, text messages.....I asked him to leave me alone. He did send his picture (nothing like the guy) but that wasn't the point. He lied. In my head, he was someone else.

So that was him. I think he knew it was me. Two weeks ago, was his last text to me. I told my cousin. She was dying. I asked her....Is his name ? And she said YUP....I told her the story. She was dying. How ironic.

So.....the dental appointment went well. Teeth coming out next week. The surgeon was wonderful. Honestly, he heard so much about me already from my cousine throughout the years that we felt like we knew each other.

And then my meeting with Mr. Porsche. Well...well....well.....I thought last time was hot and I was nervous we wouldn't meet expectations again. All I can say is OH WOW! Something about him. He knows just how to move me over the line of comfort. He gets me to do things that feel so right at the time but now I am even embarrassed to write about. Today we did things that were not even on my list of things to do!!! lol And we took each other to a place where neither one of us has ever been before! WILD! But you are going to have to wait till tomorrow. My nipples are so damn sore, I have to soak them in the bath...lol

Sweet Wet Dreams....honestly, I came so much today, I don't think there is any cum left in me!

Horny..Horny Monday

Yes, I am so friggin horny...I don't know what it is....I am dying to have sex right now. And here I am, no one in sight. Sigh....hot, wild sex to relieve my stress. I mean I was so used to getting it once to twice a week. Once every three weeks....geez.......I need a nice hard cock....yes, wild...I need wild sex....right now!!!!!!!

Okay, I feel a little better.....getting that off my chest. Actually Mr. Porsche is on the golf course w ith clients right now. He picked up the phone and I said....."You know you were right today that you were suppose to be playing with balls and holes...but baby, you were suppose to be playing with my holes and I was suppose to be sucking your balls! Let me meet you in the bushes....hit your ball out!" Yes, he laughed....he loves when I catch him off guard and talk dirty to him..I love knowing that he can't answer...that I am in control. Hehehehe

So here I sit. Dying for a nice hard cock....sigh.....I think I am going to take a nap now to try and unwind a little.....

Oh, I changed my setting so everyone can leave comments....I didn't realize I had left it so some people couldn't. It's been like that for a year now...I forgot to set it back!!! I LOVE comments, so comment away!

Mystery Man and Mr. Porsche in my life today

Okay, so do you think I am in a great mood because I had an excellent day at work? Actually a phenomenally gratifying day. I surpassed all my goals for the 2nd quarter....a superstar (thank you thank you!!) I was so thrilled and felt so amazing.

And then, an email came through. My heart skipped a beat. My heart got all warm and fuzzy...I could feel the life dancing inside of me....yes, Mystery Man. Just a wise ass comment to a picture of hands that I sent him (they were painted and were just cool looking. No sex involved). And he wrote back...those could cum in handy.....he cracks me up.

Of course, I wrote back.... why that was entertaining, I can think of MUCH MORE entertaining things I could do with my hands (and with your hands). Here are some sample ideas.......

and of course I sent him these pix. Oh you know, I so want him to get a damn hard on and think of us in the dressing room of Lord and Taylors. Or seeing my face in the mirror as he fucks me from behind and he throws me a kiss. Or throws me up against the wall as he passionately licks me.....sigh.....sex is hot with that man. Oh how I was soooo lucky. Oh how I sooooo badly miss it.

Mr. Porsche called today. Yes, I was hornier than anything. I was determined to work him up. He's been overly stressed, he worked till 3AM last night and slept in his damn office. I needed to loosen him up a little....so I started on him. You like when I lick your cock don't you? Can you imagine me under the desk right now? Oh you love when I lick your balls and then move my tongue to your ass! Woo Hoo!! Hard On Success!

Now he's laughing "Crap, the driver just walked in and I have the hugest hard on.....great the Fed Ex guy is with him too....he was running behind his desk to cover his bulge in his pants. Now I am laughing at the visual of this. Oh he misses me. He frantically looked at his calendar...Monday or Thursday. We are on!

So, what made my mood soar? What gave me the biggest smile today? All three actually...I am just so happy right now that my heart feels smiley...I am trying to think of how I am feeling inside right now. That emptiness is not totally there.....its like a warm, fuzzy, smiley feeling I feel inside. Is there a better word for it? Whatever it is, I just feel better and it feels good.

Brad Hanson the Emotional Affair Man for Palin?

Brad Hanson is his name. Supposedly they flirted with each other but never consummated the deal with Sara Palin. So? Emotional Affair....hmmmm.....yes, with all our country has to worry about...we should be concerned with flirting. Actually, here is a pix of Brad Hanson. He actually resembles Todd, her husband a little.

Okay, definitely not juicy enough for me to keep me interested. Interesting fact, he supposedly was having his divorce papers sealed today. Now that is interesting. There is a gay porn star by the same name, Brad Hanson. Now that would be a story!

Did Sara Palin Have An Affair ?!?!!

I need to know, is there any politician that hasn't cheated on their spouse? For some reason, I don't buy this one, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. She just seems to have a whole lot of skeletons in that closet of hers.

The Enquirer reported that Sara Palin had an affair with her husband's former business associate. According to the Enquirer "Todd discovered the affair and quickly dissolved his friendship and his business associations with the guy."

Come on...the National Enquirer...has to be the truth, right? LOL

So what do you think? True or Not? And what do you think of Governor Palin?

Personally, I am undecided. I can't figure out of I like her or not. Does anyone look at the issues anymore? It seems its all about Male/Female and Black/White. Quite honestly, I do not care if they were purple and Asexual...baby, let's get to some real issue discussions already. Do we have to remind the politicians were are at war, that people are suffering in our country, that oil is out of control? I am actually leaning towards not liking her....her stand that even a woman who is rape or in an incest situation shouldn't be allowed to have an abortion. That really bothers me.

I'm sorry, I had to vent. A Cheri Political Moment. But I have to tell you....I do confess...I did look at Governor Palin's husband and thought he was attractive and I had wondered if HE cheated....hehehehhehe...I would have swore I met him on Ashley Madison! (Before the government starts snooping on me again...I'm kidding. Remember when the government came to my site daily because of Mr. Government?...too funny).

Masturbate And The World Becomes Clearer

Did you ever notice if you masturbate....you feel so much more focused after. Masturbation clears my head (I don't know if it does it for anyone else). But for me, those circles on my clit with my two middle fingers manages to relax me. A little fantasizing and I after those pulsations go through my body....I am at peace. Amazing how I didn't start masturbating until 3 years ago and days like today...I did twice.

Today was a rough day. I rarily have full blown anxiety attacks but last night the clock turned 6AM and I was still up. The worries were overcoming my head. The anxiety of life, the walls were caving in. And I wanted Mystery Man sooo badly. Flashbacks of us fucking in the Lord and Taylor fitting room and certain great memories kept floating in and out of my head. WE had amazing times, amazing laughs and close moments. I miss them . Comparing him to Mr. Government, I realize what we had was so much deeper and even fulfilling. Sigh...the difference this time, I am not mad. I am worried about him. Truly worried. The hubby is doing stupid stuff that is going to cause him to lose his job and I have to figure out how to move up my career. Enough to obviously cause me to toss and turn all night..finally I went to the couch with a book and passed out for two hours. Needless to say, the day was a waste today. Working but half asleep and still having anxiety..my chest feels like its going to explode. I worry about moments like this.....am I losing it?

Mr. Porsche called today. Honestly, I wasn't mentioning the credit card thing. But he did...I got your email, he said. Forget it..I said, He said...No, when you put it that way I don't know what I was thinking. Your right, I'm sorry....I mean I trust you with everything...it was ridiculous.
And then I felt better that he saw my point but I wasn't mad anymore. I am like that...a Volcanic explosion and then I forgive someone.

So I hope everyone is doing well out there.......my sex life has been so boring with only one man! I've been debating about Mr. Divorce Attorney. He called today. We talked...he said since he saw me, he can't stop thinking about me. So sweet....its nice to feel wanted.