"Cheri Screws A Frog" A Theatrical Performance

The Play: Cheri Screws Another Frog
The Scene: A main road motel room on Secret Lovers Lane
The Characters: Cheri and Mr. Heart

The Scene Opens as Cheri is debating whether to meet Mr. Heart. The chemistry hasn't been flying lately BUT she decides...she needs to see if there is something there. She's physically attracted to him and she loves talking to him. If she doesn't go then she will always wonder was this the Prince Charming behind the Frog?

Overall Review: Don't Waste your Time with this dick (oops I meant flick!)

Okay, I am joking a little here. I did meet Mr. Heart but sadly, we were not a match in bed. I was sooooooooo disappointed. We are good friends, have great conversation and my favorite part of the day was when we went for brunch after our rendezvous and we laughed and talked.

Describing the rendezvous...would sound like it was amazing! I typed it in and said "Damn I wish I was there" !

He opened the door to the motel room and he had a boyish smile on his face. That made me feel welcome right away. "baby doll, you look amazing" and he pulled me closer. Our lips connected and it was pretty hot! We were standing at the door and we just looking at each other and smiling. He slowly began to undress me...never once leaving my eyes. I began to undress him. We somehow made it to the bed.

"I want you so badly baby doll"...oh the words were so sweet. His first stop was in between my legs....but it was a quick suck and that was it. To my surprise...but hey, it held hopes of being a great day. He was hard, very hard...I could feel it, I could see it...and I wanted to feel it even more.

So you may ask...sounds great what the hell is Cheri talking about. It was great until this point. It was.....I was having a great time...."keep your eyes open ". I never realized I kept my eyes closed when I kissed. Why? I had a hard time keeping them open. This was a new sensation for me. I think I like to keep them closed because it intensifies your other senses...I enjoy the kising, feeling our tongues entwine.....its less intense with my eyes open...but I tried it.

Now when I touched him he started to moan and saying my name over and over. I was wet, very wet and now it was time...the conversatio went like this:
" where is the condoms?"
"Oh I hate condoms."
"Okay, I realize guys don't like condoms but we need a condom here"
"Oh! I promise I will pull out. I'll stay inside you only for a little" --- WRONG ANSWER!!
"We can fool around and we won't do it...." - ANOTHER WRONG ANSWER!!

Now I felt like I was a teenager again and in college. Will I get a little pregnant? Will I be exposed to just a little disease? This guy has been separated from his wife and has had a few rendezvous (that he admitted too). His wife may also have been fooling around with some guys in France. Let's see, that makes me exposed to ALL those people and more. Oh yeah, then there is the fact that he told me a story about a girl he was seeing who claimed to be pregnant. She wasn't, BUT he didn't stick around to make 100% sure.

This isn't a game. This is real life. I have a family that needs me at home and I don't want to add to that family. "Straight women don't get AIDS"....hmmm...I can't take the chance and that was certainly an ignorant response. Disrespect...you know how I feel about that. Playing me to be stupid....well I may be blonde but I am not fucking stupid.

"Oh well. Then we won't be doing it" --I got up and started to get dressed. I am not one of those stupid girls you are going to convince. PLEASE..."here's the deal, there's a drug store across the street. Go across the street or let's go get someething to eat". And so he went across the street.

"I'm sorry, you're right that was not so smart but I hate these things. I can't cum."

"Well I bet I can get you to cum in it!!" All horned out, I decided to forget my annoyance with him and resume where we left off.

Okay, as we are fooling around...he starts to moan more. Now this is not your typical moan. It was a theatrical moan....like you see in Porn movies. Now, I have moaned, I have screamed even but not with every touch and lick. It was kind of getting on my nerves. To me, it was insincere. Not every lick deserves an explosive moan or biting of your bottom lip (with the added rolling of the eyes for effect).

Now this guy was purely missionary. The fact that I was rubbing my clit to climax was turning him on and he kept commenting how hot it was. Hmmmm....he is used to having sex one way....the I am married for 15 years way. But I am not your wife...let's have a little playful fun. After I came, we did do a few more positions...he was working up a sweat. The moans kept getting louder and louder and I am sure if there were people next door....they had to hear him. He finally came. Sadly, I had that feeling like I do with my husband--like I should have been filing my nails or working on a presentation while he was finishing up. He did cum in the rubber!

Now, I think that most of these guys write in their Ashley ads that they love eating a girl out. This guy talked a good talk with no return there. False advertisement!! And all the wild things he wanted to do.....false advertisement. He was into straight missionary sex. Which probably would have been good if he didn't moan and pull the condom bullshit.

It did get better...we went and had breakfast. We talked, we laughed and he kept giving me little affectionate kisses and hand holding when we were alone. Kind of sweet. Our conversation was great...but it always is. We have a lot in common. I can talk to him forever (and we all know how I can talk).

As we are saying good by, his wife calls. He started to wig a little. We were sitting in his car talking and then he said (mid sentence on discussing a trip) I gotta go... I said listen to your voice mail and we will say good by. I have to go. Was I just dismissed? That was it. I just opened the car door and he was calling after me and I slammed it. Went to my car and pulled away. He called me and we talked after and we left it on a good note. He apologized but reality this is not for me. He is not for me. We have strange things in common (about our kids) but I am not into it as more than friends. I like him as a person but sexually we are not a match.

So I left and called Zorro, my confidant and buddy. He listened to my story and then his comment was "I change my mind. I want you to go out there and fuck another 5 guys because that is what it is going to take you to realize that these guys are being so damn disrespectful. You are allowing them to control the moves. So go, find more frogs....and your eyes will eventually open. You will eventually get sick of it and you will be more selective. Finding a guy who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Stop selling yourself short".

OUCH!! Yes, I spent the next two hours sitting in my car and thinking about what he said. He was right. I have so much more to offer and after rendezvous' like that...the void does not get any smaller. So last night, I couldn't blog. Too much was going through my head.

But today.....a much better attitude. I am not going to try to make things work. They either do or they don't. That's it. So yes, Mr. Heart will be a good friend. No sex there. It's not going to work.

So that was the theatrical play for the weekend.

As it would have appeared in a show review:
"The performance was lacking some substance. The play just didn't seem to flow together lacking some originality. The leading lady, while her performances in the past were quite extraordinary, was somewhat flat after the first scene. The leading male was a bad actor. Lacking any realism and also seemed flat with over exagerations that seemed to be startling to the leading lady and the audience at times.". This reviewer gives the play a "two penis rating out of five". Unfortunately, you will have to take my word on this one. It seems the show has closed after its first performance!!

Have a great day!!!! And smile!!!! Life is too short to dwell on things.