Crushed Heart!

A sick comic but this is a definite sick situation. I know I said it would be a quiet weekend for me but my heart was just run over like that poor dogs face. I sent Chris a note, to try and straighten things out. Well, anger is an understatement. Basically, this is somehow all my fault, I threw him into Soccer Moms arms and he put his profile back on line. He has two dates in the next two weeks. So, what happened to the guy who didn't want to have an affair? What happened to the guy who cared about me? What happened to my soulmate? He's not doing the podcast either now. I can honestly say I have never been the recipient of so much anger and hatred of a note. He was downright cruel. So, I am more shocked and stunned more than anything else. I was waiting for him in my heart. I wanted him to be the first--but I was so stupid. Somehow in his head...I kicked him to the curb. When the hell did I do that?
Mr. Government has been so patient with me and so nice. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to make that move---but hey what am I waiting for? Obviously, Chris isn't in the cards. So I guess its goodby...my heart is broken into a million pieces right now. I will start re-building tomorrow. I took him off my IM (I can't see when he's online) and now its time to officially seal closed that door.
And a quick update....my husband did remember our anniversary. He let me sleep late, got the kids off to school and woke me with fresh flowers and said Happy Anniversary as soon as I opened my eyes. That really was a sweet gesture. Unfortunately, there is so much anger, it's hard for me to let go of it. But I am going to try.
So, I guess next week is Mr. Government's lucky week. I am so tired of waiting for something that is never coming, I am going to screw his brains out like he has never known. I will make sure that it is so intense for both of us, no inhibitions, no delaying just amazing sex. Wish me luck! Can you believe Chris? I am still stunned.