My conclusion today--all men are #@!#ing assholes. I'm sorry, it's a horrible generalization but it's amazing that they are created by woman. The idiot I told you about who said his marriage was great and I recommended a prostitute (thought he was nice)...well I met him for coffee. He was hot! He was really tall, blonde, built amazing and extremely unique in his suave email approach. His conclusion, he wants a girl to give booty calls like in college. You know that drunk night when you just go to some low self esteem girls house who you know likes you and you do her and don't even acknowledge her the next day. He's not into kissing, not into holding, no shower together...it sounds like "leave the money on the dresser on the way out".
Well Mr, Booty Caller do I have news for you! How dare you even think to consider me for that category! Honey, I am honest for what I am looking for because I am not going to settle. You want (and try) to control me, oh boy, you have no idea what you would be in for . I am independent, actually a rebel. I like to walk on the line...you could not control me sweetie. I do as I please. The passion, the lust, the sex...I can guarantee (as you agreed) we would be hot together. Your email after, how I made you feel tingles just from when my hand touched your hand. Can you imagine what my mouth would do to you?
So Mr. Booty Caller, I was first tempted to lasso you in and break you just for the fun of it. But you're not worth the energy. I admit, it would be fun, one day of unforgettable sex and after, I would leave a dollar on the dresser for your services as I walked out. But, I'm not that much of a bitch anymore. Years ago, I would have loved the challenge and look forward to your expression at the finale, but I am not like that anymore and thankfully I still have my edge to see a guy like you coming. I feel bad for that nice woman who isn't going to see right through you!
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