"The Meeting OF Two Warped Minds"

Isn't funny how two people who supposedly are wired the same can see the same situation so damn different! It's truly amazing. People can read the same book and they totally interpret it differently--yet the words are the same. I guess it is your own personally life experiences that make the words dance!

Well Soulmate did IM me last night. Both of us too tired to fight. He swears that I am totally wrong and only see it through my eyes. He swears that the webcam night was not the same night. And yet, I swear that I had to read it somewhere. He is as hard headed and adamant as I am and he will not admit that he lied or did anything wrong. In fact, he claims that I ruined us (?!?). He doesn't understand that I am not looking at the kiss with Soccer Mom. I'm upset because of the deceit. Like I said, you see things through your life experiences.

Before my husband, I lived with a guy who was a compulsive, deceitful liar. Hot, huge dick, amazing in bed and the electricity flowed between us. But he was an excellent liar. The truth, I don't think he knew the difference between truth and lies. He was definitely smooth. The finale for us was that he cheated so I moved out. He never admitted it, he will go to his grave denying it but I knew in my heart. Thankfully, I went with my inner gut. He turned out to be a child molester, the lowest form of life in my book. He supposedly molested his own daughter. You would never have known....everyone was shocked. He was the guy that everyone wanted in College and thankfully I escaped.
Now I am not comparing what happened with Soulmate to this at all (I just got side tracked) but trust, due to my life experiences, is so important. Even if you lie, fess up. I just have a problem with people who just keep playing out their lies.
So, I'm at a crossroad right now. Soulmate's story still doesn't add up to me. Nor did he apologize (he does not feel that not telling is lying). Maybe if we were face to face, then it would be different. He did send me this song, In Your Eyes by Jeffrey Gaines and it is extremely touching and pulled at my heart tremendously. Definitely check out the words.
http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/j/jeffreygaines/inyour.htm

I think what it comes down to is our definition of what we want our relationship to be. I don't know if he knows what he wants. If you claim you don't have time for one affair, how are you going to find time for so many? (I'm not even bringing disease into this). What it seems like is that he wants the close friendship and he wants to just be a booty call at the same time . While he is booty calling Soccer Mom too. And who else knows who else. And I don't think of him as just a booty call. The sex would be hot BECAUSE of the emotional connection we have, so we are fucked basically.

In conclusion, nothing really changed except the anger has subsided a little. I know I'm a bitch when it comes to lying and I can be real stubborn. But I need trust...take it or leave it. And well, it looks like he may want to leave it. Maybe he should look at things from my eyes for a minute! Am I worth some work? Am I worth an apology? Am I worth being honest to? Am I worth more than a booty call? I know I am....does he?