The Ultimate Sex Betrayal on A Webcam!

RETRACTION! His date was not Friday Night . I feel much better about that because that really made me lose faith in him as a human being. However, the trust issues and he blames me for ruining our friendship.

So if you read my post regarding soulmate and my webcam rendezvous, you would have known that I was so into our webcam moments. If I couldn't touch him, well at least I could get him off. So let's see, after my last post, I went back to look at some of our old IMs. Probably to torture myself, I went back to the Webcam IM we recently had. Then it hit me. That was last Friday, the night he had his date. So he sucked face with Soccer Mom and came home and webcammed with me. So the ultimate betrayal, there was probably a 30/70 shot that I was on his mind while he was jerking off (if that much). I think I'm being generous here for my own ego. I literally threw up last night thinking about what a fool I have been. More that I really cared about him. More that I really trusted him. The sexual thing is not a big deal....it's the loss of trust and friendship that is truly killing me right now. My head is spinning today.

But I am a survivor. Always have been and always will be. It will take me a couple of hours today, but I will find the energy to pull myself together. A little reflection, a little inner soul searching and the re-building of that fucking brick wall. This time, NO ONE gets in so easily. High security tactics are needed. I am in search of an affair. No more soulmates, no more sharing my inner thoughts and desires. Pure, intense sex! Keep it on the level. Be friends but no more best friends. Keep that wall up high enough to fulfill that emotional void without someone moving into that area. Hmmm...maybe today is a good day to call Booty Caller. Hubby is out of town, returning tonight and gone again for the weekend. A Booty Call is what I might need to put me back in the right frame of mind. Even if its just some sucking face and some oral sex with a hot man....I think it's time to get back into the ME mode again. My ego needs some stroking and well so could other areas of me. Hey! He claims to love satisfying a woman, so, I think I might make plans for Saturday for him to put his oral expertise to the test. Okay, time to make those beauty appointments for my head....a manicure, pedicure and a clean waxing for the ultimate in enjoyment!