Help! Husband Claustrophobia

Okay, he has been looking for a job now for a few months. Basically, this has become his full time job..looking for a job. Yes, I am about to scream! I am feeling closed in and sickened by his constant existence. Hasn't he ever heard of "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" I need some absence. Can you imagine having your spouse around 24/7?

I sit in my office and he sits right in the next room. He wonders what I do during the day when I am not working. "Oh honey, I am doing a podcast on cheating on you! Yes, I have put together a whole website to help others not get caught as well. I plan to podcast to the world. Oh! My research involves screwing other guys, is that okay?"

The bigger problem is that he is resentful that I am continuing to work for our company and I am not going out to get a job. He would love to sit home all day in that fucking squeaky chair that he has. Have a mentioned that he sits in this chair and everytime he moves it makes noises? I have begged him to W-40 it, but he hasn't. I think he enjoys that it drives me wild.

So yes, if it were up to him, I would be the one going out to support our family. What happened to the man feeling that his role is to bring in money? He certainly doesn't feel that way at all. Now, if he could take care of the kids and the house, I actually would love to go back to work somewhere else. But I would come home and trust me, I'd be lucky if the baby was not tearing apart the house. He has a habit of not supervising.

So what do you think? Think I am choking tonight? Think I am losing my mind how he can't help around the house because he is doing his full time job---sending out resumes! This might sound insane but right now I wish Mr. G- would be right here, getting the shit fucked out of me helps me forget reality. And those two hours spent with Mr. G-, I forget the real world and I am in total ecstasy. Okay I better call him tomorrow, I think I desperately need to get laid.

Bitch On Wheels

Yes, today I am a bitch on wheels! I don't know why but everything is getting to me today. I am definitely PMSing (sorry guys but it's life). In fact, I have a friend who looks forward to that time of the month for sex. Many women get super horny right before, during and at the end. She likes to call it "Crime Scene" Sex! I laughed hysterical (and yes, I am smiling right now at the thought).

Crime Scene Sex is not my cup of tea. I would hate to have to clean it up and I would be too embarrassed to leave it at a motel. Could you imagine if the maid thought it was a true crime scene and the cops were called. There is a chance of that happening you know! So now you know my views on sex during my period....too messy.

Nothing much to report in the romance section. Mr. G still being a little distant. Yes, he sent a one liner yesterday by email and it was "nice". Nothing like, I'm horny, let's get together. So, I'm losing a little interest and keeping my distance. I want to see what his next move is going to be. Funny, I bet you he thinks nothing is wrong. The new Doctor/Chiropractor emailed me again. He wants me to call. He did pay me a compliment when he saw my pix "Gulp! You are gorgeous". That made me smile, but I don't feel the sparks. And Chris, he's a doll. Refuses to come out here so we can work on the podcast but he knows how to keep me inline (just as a friend of course). So there is the "Cheri nothing exciting Update".

Oops! Thought I posted this last night!

Cheating Lover's Santa List?

I think Mandy decided to torture me tonight because of my blog entry ! I gained a few pounds and well I'm pissed. So I decided it's time to go back to working out. Tonight I went with Mandy and worked out with her personal trainer. I am determined to get those (and a few more) pounds off but tonight I am aching from head to toe.

So, I was working on my website. For those who do not know, www.rendezvousradio.com --all about cheating and not getting caught.

Anyway, I was working on a special feature what to get your secret lover for the holidays. Now this is a touch thing if you really think about it. You can't give something that would send up a red flag (like jewelry--although I don't think my hubby would notice) and you have to be careful about how you purchase it. So, fellow bloggers, give me some ideas. For both men and women, what can you get that secret lover for the holiday? Can't be lingerie, jewelry, flowers, clothes or anything like that. So what do you think? I'd love to hear so I could include it in my feature.

I'm off to bed, I don't think there is a muscle in my body right now that isn't screaming. Can't you hear it?!

Cheating Cover Up-The Twinkie or Cupcake!

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Holding On By A String and A Bottle of Wine

Happy Thanksgiving! While I love to see my family, I can't wait to see them walk out the door either. My mom is getting more and more high strung as she ages and it was a tough day dealing with her. So yes, the bottle came out and with every criticism, with every snippy remark...I drank a glass. Not bad, only needed one bottle for the day! I was barely holding on by a string to try and keep the smile on my face. But I did it, I didn't snap, I didn't yell, I held it together until the end!

Gave a lot of thought to all your remarks regarding Mr. G. And you are all right!!! I need to just let it happen and not overanalyze every move. I am the type of person who likes everything in a nice package. All my T's crosses and I's dotted...okay I'm anal. And this is one instance where I need to sit back and just let it happen. Stop trying to control the situation is very tough for me. I do it in business, I do it in my marriage and I do it in every aspect of my life....because I have to.

I'm not used to someone taking control and that's his personality as well. And Kissy, I thought about it. He has sent me some type of an email everyday just to say hi. Today, he was so concerned that I didn't get my email so he sent it to my email, my phone and my voice mail to make sure I got his Happy Thanksgiving message.

I definitely have a warped sense of humor, I took a picture of my turkey (which I was very proud of) and sent it to him. He thinks I am a off the wall....I love to do spontaneous and fun things and he's not used to letting his guard down. He'll relax hopefully!

I also noticed that a holiday is a reason why old contacts seem to come out of the wood work. I got an email from Shrinky Dink, Boy Toy and my two stalkers. I honestly thought they had given up but they haven't....I am always honest when it comes to the fact that I am seeing someone else. One stalker tried to put me on a guilt trip. " I am waiting for your relationship to end so we can hook up. I haven't been with anyone nor am I trying to meet someone. I know we are perfect for each other".

I got a horrible chill up my spine. I had spoken to this guy once on the phone and we may have emailed three times back and forth many months ago. I told him to move on, not to wait for me. But he insists that if we met, I would be so happy with him. Okay, he's flipping me out. I told him that once too. "You are starting to really flip me out can you stop". Obviously, it didn't work. So now I am taking the ignore approach. Hopefully, he will get the message that way. I never knew I gave such good email....Scary!

And that's it. I did have an email back and forth with a "doctor". Does a chiropractor count as a doctor? Personally, I don't think so, yet they all say they are doctors. A think they are doctor wannabees. Hey, if nothing else, I can get a few adjustments!

Well this is really my last post till Sunday. Leaving at 6AM and I'm still not packed and have a kitchen to get back in order. Hope you had a great turkey day and a great weekend!

Cheating? The Case: A Missing Condom

The Case Of The Missing Condom
Sometimes, I crack myself up. This is truly one of those times! To backtrack a little, right before I went on my rendezvous with Mr. G-, I happened to notice that my hubby had a box of unopened 3 pack of Trojans in the bathroom drawer and an empty box. For a glimpse of a second, I thought about taking one just in case but then decided that opening the box would set off a warning signal. So I went on my way to my secret Rendezvous!

Yesterday, I looked in the bathroom garbage can and there was an empty box. So I decided to open his drawer, and the three pack was gone. Interesting! We hadn't had sex. So where is that three pack. Is my husband cheating on me?

My reaction was not what I had expected. I started to giggle. How dysfunctional would it be if we were both sneaking around on the other one. I was impressed that he was even able to do it without me noticing. The only annoyance I felt was that if he was spending money on her, I'd have to cut off his dick (because things are so tight here right now).

Well, I nonchalantly said, what happened to your condoms. "I have them" he said. Now, I couldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. Normally, I would have probably been all over him. but I let it go. I decided to investigate further. Hidden under his shirts, were the box of condoms.....WITH ONE MISSING!!!!

Well, unless I want a divorce or a major war, I decided that I wasn't going to say anything. It's like with the kids "you have to choose your battles". Well I wasn't ready to take this on and since I knew, I'd just monitor the situation.

My only reaction was...."Poor Baby, he's having an affair and they only use One Rubber. He's getting totally short changed. Mr. G- and I use at least two if not all three with a lot of other fun and foreplay". Sadly, he used only one.

So now, I'm thinking, when could he have? Of course I know that there are so many hours in the day and honestly you just need 2 hours to be unaccountable for. Pretty easy to do! So I decided, to research a little further that night. I had looked by our bed, under the bed BUT when I got down on the floor, there was a condom. Behind the headboard. Hmmm...I got a hanger and fished it out. Took it to the package and compared the expiration dates and the serial numbers...it was the missing condom!

I felt disappointed a little. Probably because whatever little guilt I was feeling, I could have totally released. Now, that wasn't the case. He had probably placed it there thinking that we were going to do it one night. Let's see, was it because I was in such a great mood after my meeting with Mr. G- (guilt) and my conversation with Chris. Did he think he was going to get it? Oh well. So maybe this cheating spouse thing is improving my mood and improving our marriage in a totally dysfunctional way...

So, now I can just see when we do go to have sex. He's going to pull out the evidence and I am going to be hysterical laughing. Surely there will be no orgasm that night. All I will think about is "the Case of The Missing Condom".

So have a great Thanksgiving! I won't be around for a couple of days. I have family dinner to cook and then we're off for a family trip. So enjoy your turkeys, and enjoy your family! Best---Cheri!

Proper Etiquette on the Personals Site?

It seems this cheating life is a domino effect! One touch and it takes on a life of its own!

I was just finishing up an article for the website (www.rendezvousradio.com) and I thought, first let me get your opinion. Interestingly enough, I met Mr. Govermment on the site Ashley Madison(Ashley Madison Agency) - a site for married people who are looking.( This is a great site if you are looking to meet someone. Be sure to read my review on my website.)

Anyway, we met by corresponding back and forth like I have with other men. At first, he was attentive and his emails pretty regular. Now, maybe because he text messages he doesn't email. Truthfully, I don't like Text Message, I am more of an email girl because you can get to know someone.

So my point is actually a few things. What is proper etiquette for your profile after you start something with someone? Do you continue to check your mail? Do you shut it off? Do you continue to actively talk to people? Now if you claim you only want to be with one person (besides your spouse) then what?

I am in a catch 22 with this one. I'm as guilty as he is in that I get messages all day and I am curious so I look at their profiles. He wants to continue to check mail as he wants me to. But he wants to know if I should meet someone else.

So what is that saying? Truthfully, I can set up 4 meetings for next week if I wanted. But doesn that mean he is looking for something better? Am I fill in until someone else comes along or is he curious like I am? (okay...I did find a doctor online tonight and wanted to see what he looked like and I have been emailing back and forth 4 times since I started this post--lol). So am I being ridiculous and just insecure? Is there proper etiquette for this ? How do I make sure that his head is where my head is?

Funny, I never thought of myself as high maintenance but I guess I am. I feel that I want this guy to feel like the most special person as I can make him feel. We should both want to fulfill and make each other happy. So, I try to give him what I think he needs. Pamper him in the bed and outside of the bed. Isn't that the idea? Feeling great and feeling real special?

I think I was set off today because I sent him an email and he couldn't find the time to answer my email yet he had time to go online to check his mail at Ashley. ( Yes, it shows you how many hours or days a person was last there).

Of course my cat claws came out a little and I wanted him to see that I knew he was there. So I sent an email on the site to him...."oh! I missed you by an hour, too bad, we could have picked each other up online. Proceeded to say that I had 6 emails (which was true) and one was an infamous penis picture

So am I reading too much into it? I guess I am protecting my pride and my heart. I don't want to be blind sided where he's playing the field. Honestly, my thoughts are, if it isn't feeling good 100% of the time, it's time to maybe look somewhere else. I hate head games but I am not going to respond back to him for 24 hours.

All right, I am off the sleep. This posting pre-empted a posting of how I thought my husband was cheating today. A very funny story but you will have to wait until tomorrow. And surprisingly, I felt some relief. But that's for tomorrow! .

Lustful Sex = Cookie Dough Cheesecake

Well it did take a few days but I am back to walking like myself again. Thanks for all your great comments! It's great to have a non judgmental support network (especially when it's such a judgmental topic). So, I'm in this affair, I guess. I don't know if I would call it an affair yet. It's more of a prelude to an actual affair. It's actually more of lust right now or would you just saying we are screwing each others brains out! Are there names for all this?

When you are dating there are one night stands, dating, "going steady", engaged etc. etc...so what do you call it all when you both are married? Friends with Hot Fringe Benefits? However, we aren't really good friends yet. Hmmm.....help here. Just my lover?

So, now here is the next problem. I want more. Yup, it felt so good. I keep seeing it in my head. I keep feeling him thrusting inside of me. I want it again. I know this can't be a daily thing or even weekly is tough...so now what? For so many years the lust was gone and now I have found it again.

However, now the lust and passion is a million times better. Why? I'm older, more experienced. I'm not that girl in her twenties only worried about what the guy wants. Never thinking about me, now I am a part of the equation. I am now more comfortable with my sexuality. I don't have a problem playing with my clit while we are screwing so my orgasm is mind blowing. I'm more comfortable expressing my needs (well most) even though we hardly know each other.

And, I have to give the guy here credit too. He wanted us to cum together. That was a real turn on. "I want us to cum together Cheri", makes me wet just by thinking about it. So, I've come to realize that my sexuality has taken on a whole new meaning.....and I really do love it.

But it's like that cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I only go to the Cheesecake Factory twice a year. I order this great salad they have but that cheesecake is on my mind. It's so delicious, it's orgasmic but you can't eat it all or you'll overindulge. I eat a little there and I bring the rest home. But it's in the refrigerator and it is calling your name. I keep going back for a little spoon full, another spoon full and another.

It becomes addicting. So now I have found that I can get dripping wet and so turned on, that I can orgasm again during sex....AND there is no calories!!! The downside....well we all know..the little thing called adultery, fantasy, reality and you know the rest!

Sigh! What is a girl to do? And then of course, as I went to get a pix of the cookie dough cheesecake, I saw the newest flavor --chocolate caramel latte?! Maybe I will need to see if that cheesecake is even more orgasmic? All right, enough about cheesecakes, I have to gotta go exercise just thinking about all those calories! Have a good night!

A Man's Face or The Word Liar?..

Do you see a man's face or the word Liar?
I picked this picture because it just reminded me that everyone has a hidden side you may not first see.

That perfect mood of this week is slowly drifting....okay....it's almost gone. And, it was no one specific. It was just all the little things in life just chiseling away at my mood and eventually...its gone. I'm home alone most of the weekend because the hubby is busy running around with sports. So I had way too much time to think (and to bitch how dirty the house was). In addition my mother is in one of her torture moods. Yes, this is a woman who expects perfection, and fall short, and she can make your life a living hell. And, guess what, I fell short. And you would think it would be something big, it's actually that I didn't call early enough on her birthday ( I was waiting for the whole family to be around). Can you imagine if she knew what I was doing on her birthday (Mr. G-). Okay, I just started to giggle to know that her perfect daughter was out doing a man on her birthday. I guess that's the rebel in me.

Well there was an upswing to this weekend. I got in touch with an old childhood friend. We were great friends growing up and well I miss her terribly. She lives far away and we don't always get to connect. "Y" and I know each other since we are about 7 yrs old. We've even shared the same man (and I think there were more but she denies it). However, "Y" had that man as part of a threesome. I, as you know, was not like that at a younger age. I was miss prim and proper. Oh yeah! I had a wild side but I was also a bitch (I admit it). But "Y" was always more free about things, more relaxed and even more relaxed sexually.

I decided to tell her about my website, my life and what was going on. Well, little did I know that "Y" had been into erotica since a very young age, voyeurism (obviously I knew threesomes) and other things that she won't share with me yet. Funny how you think you know so much about people and there is still so much more to know. I've now re-discovered and old friend and we have more in common! So "Y" welcome to my blog and don't think about me as that sweet innocent little girl anymore..as you can see, I've come quite a bit of a way!

So with "Y" and I talking, I couldn't help but flash back to that boy who was my boyfriend (and part of her threesome--it was before me, for the record. And I didn't know until later on). He was so hot, he was so sweet and he truly adored me. Of course, I treated him like shit. Yup! What I would do now for a man to love me the way he loved me then. Brought me flowers, wrote songs for me, always was there for me and did I happen to mention he had a HUGE dick. I can remember the first time, it did not fit!!! But we worked on it and practice makes perfect. I went away to college, he called me every other day.

And then I got drunk in college, called him, broke it off and 10 minutes later slept with another guy who became my new boyfriend. He hated me (for good reason) and the last time I saw him, a friend arranged for him to be at my bachelorette party. Why, I do not know! He still was bitter. I know you are all saying "Bitch" and you are right. But you will be glad to know that I've changed tremendously since then AND I wish I could talk to him today.

I did spent part of the day looking him up on the internet. Couldn't find him but I'm sure I will be able to track him down. Sadly, what I would do now for someone to have such a devoted heart and to worship me like he worshipped me. Hey, that probably only happens once in life and I blew it.

Okay more confession, we came from very different backgrounds and well, he didn't exactly fit the "perfect" image of a suitor in my circle. I always dated the rich boys, I planned my life so perfectly. I married one of those rich boys......AND look where I am now!!! Funny how life turns out.

Well, I am going to leave you with a song that is truly my life...."Lyin' Eyes" by the Eagles. Scarely, Chris said this song reminded him of me (and he knew nothing at the time). Funny, when I was younger, I was disgusted by the woman in the song. As I got older, I pitied the woman in the song, then I was intrigued by her and now---I AM TRULY HER! My hubby is not an old man though but the life I had planned certainly did not happen. And trust me, I always planned. Ask "Y" the Queen of Lists I was!!!

Lyin Eyes

Lyin' Eyes by The Eagles
City girls just seem to find out early
ow to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice
So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the nice anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel
She rushes to his arms, They fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can't hid your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't now way to hide you lyin' eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry
She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool
My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
You're still the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your lyin eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes

The Perfect Day with TWO Men, 2 bottles of wine & my best friends!

Yesterday was the most perfect day. Two men, two bottles of wine and hanging with my best friends....a perfect day!

Lunch with my best friend, some shopping and I went on my way to the sleazy motel to meet Mr. G-. A change, that was interesting, MR. G- is relaxing a little. A more controlling and opinionated person is emerging. Believe it or not, that's good. I like backbone...not over the top...but some backbone is certainly a turn on. Off to our room, the room with the mirrors on the ceilings,which I'd like to point out are not real flattering. Thankfully, our positions of choice do not entail the mirrors too much!

Well, I can honestly say, I am sore today! A great sore and something I haven't felt in a long time but damn...I was banged like crazy yesterday! Horny was an understatement for Mr. G-. He was determined to make me cum, not once, not twice but three times. And positioning was truly enjoyable. I actually found a position yesterday that I had never done before but is now my favorite position. Don't even know what it is called (or if it has a name) but damn it was amazing. Here's a quick rundown:

We arrive in the room and we felt so much more comfortable with each other. We didn't even hesitate, we just grabbed at eachother and started ripping off each others clothes. "I fucking want you so bad".."I've been dreaming about you all week"....so smooth. Whether it was true or not, those are the words I wanted to hear. We both love kissing and his lips are so delicious. Totally naked, we laid on the bed. His lips slowly working their way down by neck down to my nipples. I can hear myself moaning and I can feel my self excessively wet. Its a week of foreplay with all those text messages and my body just responds to his touch. I never knewI was such a moaner but I obviously am.

With his hands in between my legs, he quickly confirmed that I was so fucking wet. He was hard and we were both ready to go at it. First, I threw my legs over his shoulders and he thrusted for a while. But I wanted more, so I flipped over. I just love doggie style. It penetrates so deep and I can orgasm the easiest in that way. Now, this man knows how to thrust, he's got the perfect rhythm and it just feels so right. But I wasn't in exactly doggie style...it was from behind but it was different. And suprisingly, it was the way our hands were entwined that was even more of a turn on. It was raw animalistic sex yet he reached my hands with his and we entwined our fingers in a caring hold. That and his gentle kisses on my neck and his whispering in my ear was an unbelievable sensation. "I want us to cum together Cheri, tell me when you are ready baby." Again the right words, the right warmth and those amazing thrusts....and so we came together, it was absolutely perfect.

Actually three rounds...yes THREE!!! And I found POP ROCKS!! We were both laughing....it was fun. I think I felt the sensation more than he did...but as I had pop rocks and his penis in my mouth, he was eating them too...it actually was hysterical (thanks Lori--it was fun)!

Again, he had to go and so did I. Time flies when you are having fun! And while we do connect really well in bed, there is a lack of connection out of bed which I hope will come. If you don't talk about your family and he can't talk about his work--we have a lull sometimes. Mystery is good he says. But I am a person who loves people and I love to get to know people so we are eventually going to come to a crossroad but right now it is perfect!

I came home and needed to talk to Chris about some website and podcast stuff. He was in the best mood. We spoke for 2 1/2 hours. And my soulmate fulfilled that emotional void as he always does. He played his guitar for me and sang. There was nothing more that I could have asked for...In Your Eyes, Collide, Embrace Yourself and Lyin Eyes. Ironically, Collide always reminds me of him....but I've never told him. In Your Eyes was the song he learned and dedicated to me along with the others.

We talked and I have never felt so complete with someone. We truly finish each others sentences. I have accepted that we really should never sleep together. We would ruin something that is just so amazing. He doesn't believe me but I really do feel that way. Why? Because I think it would be so fucking amazing that it would be too much for us and fuck up our friendship totally. So we need to remain just friends. However, in 5 years, I need to see what it is like to fuck your soulmate. It must be the most outrageous sexual experience but right now and for awhile..friends are the best for both of us. I believe when it is meant to be, if it is meant to be, it will feel 100% right!

The evening was spent helping a divorced girlfriend write a personals ad. My friends were amazed at how good I was at writing it (only one friend knows the truth). While I was sitting there, my phone beeped. It was Mr. G-..."Today was amazing....I can't stop thinking about you"! A smile comes to my face. My divorced friend looks at me and says "whoever that was, your face just lit up and I don't want to know. But he must be good with that smile." I was too wasted to deny it totally. We're just friends, I said. "You deserve happiness" was all she said and back to drinking we went.

So today, images of his hot body keep flashing into my head. I still can't believe he had hid those muscles under his clothes so well. And his ass, it's this tight cherry ass with tight legs....oh my, I'm getting wet just thinking about it. He texted messaged me today saying he wished he was able to meet me for a repeat of yesterday. I laughed...I am so sore that I couldn't even think of repeating yesterday right now! But give me a day or two and I"m sure I will be horny again. Right now, I feel totally complete, I feel balanced...it's been a good few days!

Sexual Fantasies and the Poison Apple

I was thinking about it today. If you have a regular partner, why do we all have fantasies? Shouldn't we be living out our fantasies with our significant other? Why do most husbands/wives not know their spouses fantasies? You should be able to have a thought, write it down and give the fantasy to your spouse. Then in a week or two, they just make it happen. It sounds so simple.

Yet, sadly we have fantasies that we will gladly share with strangers. Is it that we are afraid that our spouses can never bring us to the arousal of how we imagine it to be? Is it only a fantasy because it involved someone else, a poison apple? I have this man lying next to me every night. He certainly could "Act Out" each of my fantasies. Yet, I know, it wouldn't even come close to my imagination and even worse..I don't want him to do it.

So, why do you not tell your spouse your fantasies? Have you grown so far apart? Do you think they would think they were dysfunctional? Are you not in love with them anymore? Do the fantasies ever involve your partner? Just curious...

I have been with my husband for so many years. Yet, I met someone online and I feel more comfortable to act out my fantasies (Mr. G-). I also meet someone online who is my soulmate and he knows everything there is to know about me. He is by far, my best friend. Chris and I sat on the phone for almost 2 hours tonight talking (totally clean). We spoke about everything, we support each other and we try to help the other one however we can. We have amazingly developed such a strong bond..(as long as we don't talk about the two of us hooking up..we are great). It's the frustration of the distance, the fear of how intense the sex would be that causes us to fight. What happens if you find a person who you can relate to on every level and you can't have them? So our friendship is more important.

Oh! I told him about Mr. G- tonight. I knew he came to my blog at the beginning of the week. So I knew he knew. And what would a best friend say? "Did he make you feel good?" My reply: YES, it was amazing. "Does he want to see you again?" My reply: YES. His reply: "Well then I am really, really happy for you. That's what's important. I want you to be happy!" I, of course, had to stick in how it would have been bettter with us, but we quickly changed the subject.

I love that Shithead! I truly do. It's a different kind of love....but it's an amazing connection that I truly cherish and have never experienced. So now I go to sleep...thinking about my Soulmate and my big day with Mr. G-...while I lay next to someone else who I don't even know who he is. Interesting how life works! IS there such thing as love or does it die? Are there people out there that after 10 years are still madly in love with their spouse? Or does all love die over time? Are we all tempted by the poison apple?

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose in the most dysfunctional marriage of them all?"

"Yes, that would be me...Cheri". Okay, let me explain a little. He's not abusive, he's not horrible, he just lies. Or yes, the old forget to tell me. I guess that's why I flip when someone else does that to me. Everytime I am blindsided in my marriage---it's a disaster. Three weeks ago (when I wrote about the financial bullshit he pulled) I asked him, is the health insurance paid up. No but we have until and he gave me a date. I have asked probably about 10 times. Various answers.

Today he comes to me and says, he don't have health insurance. Okay, you are all getting to know me...what do you think my reaction was? A totally volcanic eruption, yes, I could feel my head exploding. He said we didn't have the money to pay it. Well, I know I did have the money to pay it, it's just lower on his priority list.

I don't want to bore you with this BUT I think this is a perfect example of why I have absolutely no guilt on what I am doing. All I want out of life is the basics fulfilled. Knowing the lights are on, there is heat, the phone is working and money for food. Oh! And health insurance. I do like to spend money, but I am not a crazy shopper. I like nice things and I have a Prada bag (or two) but I am not like my friends who are shoppaholics.

So as far as my marriage, the reality, I separated from my marriage back in July. Not legally, but emotionally. I am here for my kids. Even Chris didn't know how bad it is, I've told him some. He thinks I should divorce him and I know he is right. but I am not ready to go out on my own--financially. Emotionally, I am already gone. Hence, the five year plan that I got beat up about from a fellow blogger.

Today I was thinking....maybe I can make something of the Rendezvous Radio Podcast. It's still in the works but I think there may be a way for that to be my emotional and financial savior. Hmmmm....better get thinking. And sorry Shel....this is a rant (lol)!!! I will be posting again later (because this wasn't what I originally wanted to write about. It's going to be about a fantasy a friend sent me today and my thoughts on fantasies)

So if you are looking for one of my hot fantasies or sexual escapades---wait till tomorrow's post. Mr. G and I are meeting at a motel tomorrow afternoon! I can't wait to attack him. He's been really working me up and getting me so fucking wet. He was teasing me and called me a MILF (Mother! I'd love to Fuck). Now, that's another post I'll write one day. It's pretty funny!

Sleazy Motel & Booty Caller

I Choose The Wrong Road Today!!
I woke up this morning, a little hesitant about this meeting. Personally, I knew Booty Caller was a one time deal or maybe once everybut I had to see what this guy was about. He claimed to be this big playboy and player (and I really could see that). His body, height, m few months. His arrogant, selfish ways was too much for more than that uscles, blue eyes and blonde hair screamed "Player". Anyway, he also claimed to be excellent at oral sex. I haven't had someone give me great oral sex in a real long time--so that was my enticement to get into the shower.

Yes, it was time to get ready for a day of steamy sex. Problem is that I have a glass shower and you can see me in the shower. So, the hubby was still home and how do you explain why you are shaving your pussy for shopping at the mall (he certainly knew it wasn't for him). And the bathroom smells delicious from this oil and honey I put on my skin that makes me sooo smooth. So I inconspiciously, shaved and trimmed for the big day.

As I was getting out of the shower, a text message comes across. It's Mr. G- (he will be known as that because everytime I write it out--I get a visit from a Dept. of ______). Cleared some of the day, hoping to be able to see you. That's when I knew, I really like Mr. G-. I was so disappointed that I couldn't meet him. I certainly wasn' t going to meet them both in one day! Well, I did think about that but that is a little too much for me. I couldn't just leave Booty Caller at the motel. That would be disgusting and I couldn't reach him now. And, it wouldn't be right. I wanted to experience him once (If I didn't want to do him, I could decide then but I knew when I saw him---it would get hot and we would fuck eachother's brains out)!

So reluctantly, I texted back Mr G-, that I couldn't, how about Friday? And went on my way to the Waterfall Room! I stopped at Starbucks for coffee for us both and pound cake because my stomach was in knots. It felt so much righter when I was meeting Mr G- but I expected this to be a wild day. "Remember, drink lots of water the night before, bring batteries and get ready for three hours of intense sex". Oh yes! I did bring my goodnplenty bullet, warming gel and some lube. Looked for pop rocks (as Lori recommended-but they had none-damn).

Okay, we were meeting 11:30. I pull up at exactly 11:30, the door says no vacancies. Hmmm...the sleazy motel was hopping! We'd have to go down the road. I waited until 11:35, I knew he wasn't coming and left a message on his office machine. At 11:40AM, I was furious, not because he wasn't showing but because I gave up Mr. G-. What an idiot! Serves me right! I quickly text messaged Mr. G-. Now I started laughing because with my luck, I could see Booty Caller pulling up and Mr. G- saying he was on his way...then what? Well I knew it would be Mr. G-. But that didn't happen....Booty Caller didn't show.

Honestly, I was surprised that I didn't care so much. It wasn't me, he just chickened out. However, I was pissed because he didn't even call to say anything. He let me go there. Truthfully, I think he wanted to piss me off so that he didn't have to deal with his inner turmoil. He kept getting drawn back to me, if he pissed me off, he knew I would tell him to go fuck himself. So, I gave him what he wanted. I called his work number and actually said one thing that, well I wish I didn't say (that volcanic eruption thing I get). It was that he was a selfish individual and not only did I feel sorry for him but I felt sorry for his wife (okay--that was mean. He actually cares about her a lot but they are more best friends and really are like sister and brother--the sex doesn't exist).

Ironically, if he would have called, I would have been totally fine with it but I have never been stood up in my life!!! I couldn't believe I was stood up (and I was laughing about it). Mr. G- had already re-scheduled all his meetings, we tried for after 6PM but that's tough for me. So it wasn't meant to be....so I am so nicely shaved with my racing stripe and so nicely trimmed and well.....there is no action on the track tonight!

So, the numbers are dwindling. Soldier Boy emailed me the other day to say hi (man those lips--but he's too young), Boy Toy--that thing with the 24 year old wife, Shrinky Dink has been IMing me, I actually had to block him because he was stalking me. As soon as my light went on, there he was. And Tantric Lovemaker---talk about a small world--my hubby is going for a job at the company he works for. So I immediately stopped answering his emails. He will never make the connection. I'll wait to see if my hubby gets the job. IF he does, that will be sick. Yes, Christmas parties and I will know and Tantric Lovemaker won't know its me. Too weird.

So, as of today, I have Mr. G- and Chris as a good friend. I can definitely live with that for awhile. Well, if not, next week I'll try a few new personals and see whose around.

Knight In Shining Armor Coming To My Emotional Rescue

Sometimes you need a kick in the ass! Everyone does. When you are feeling down, self destructive and wallowing in your own self pity. Usually, I am the kicker for family and friends. However, even the kicker needs a good kick once in awhile.

As I had said yesteday, I was feeling very alone with major decisions. Chris was there but not like he used to be. Well, this morning, I got that IM and call. Yes, it was my kickee! My soulmate who was ready to give me some of my much needed kick in the ass.

He was my knight in shining armor today coming to my emotional rescue (hey, isn't that a Rolling Stones song?!?) Anyway, there was my old Chris. Giving me good advice (some which I already had done--of course, we think the same way) and I love when he tells me to shut up and listen. I giggled and had a big smile on my face.

So this post has to be short. I need to get to picking myself off the ground and getting back on course. Facing the demons. He gave me the best advice that I needed to hear and I would like to share it with you because, well hopefully it will help you too. "It's not that you can't do it. You just haven't found or figured out the way to do it so it solves the problem. You gotta keep looking, you'll find it."

And yes, he is so right. I have to face the problem , stop dwelling and looking into the past and attack it from all angles. The saying I usually live by is "Throw enough shit up against the wall, eventually something will stick". And so, today I am going to do just that.
Thanks baby! You are amazing Shithead!

On My Own & A great BJ Technique

As you noticed, I rarely talk about my family espcially my hubby. Why? He's not apart of this world. I try to keep my family life separate. This "world is my escape" to bring him into it would surely put a damper on the fun (and I already have too many men in this world!)

Anyway, my dad came over today. And, he never worries about me. No one does, I am the glue of the family. The problem solver. Well I thought I have been doing a real great job keeping the mask on, but my eyes are giving me away. He just stopped by because he said he was really worried about me. That there is something not right. He is able to see I am not happy. "My baby's sparkle is gone in her eyes".

So as daddy's little girl, what do I tell him? I'm miserable in my marriage. I'm tired of the void and being unhappy. Or maybe I should say, "don't worry dad. I'm only unhappy around my hubby. I am being sexually satisfied for the first time in years by other men. They actually make me smile and laugh". I decided to just say--"I'm fine, really. Things are a little rough but I'll be okay." I don't want him to worry yet I don't want to totally lie either. If I ever do decide to get a divorce, I don't want it to be a total shock.

So today I thought a lot about what I wanted in life. Right now, I don't want a divorce. Financially and for the kids, it would be too difficult. But I did think about it and I know for a fact. I will never re-marry. I would want to just have fun and fool around and be with my kids. I would want to be independent and do exactly what I want. Would it be lonely? I really don't think so. I actually think I am more lonely now. He's always running with sports and well, when he is here, there is not much that we talk about. What did we ever talk about? We must have talked before kids, I know we did. Now, we talk but it's like being acquaintances. Sadly, he's not even my best friend anymore. He used to be.

I had two major things happen to me in the last few days. One extremely happy and one financial. Out of obligation, I told my hubby. His response was classic. Really? For the financial issue I got more of a response because it effected him.

I told Chris and he was (of course) more understanding and more elaborate about it. But he's busy working and has his own BS to deal with. Sadly, three months ago, Chris would have given me an hour discussion on things I could do, what he would do and really get me motivated. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and cherish his opinion and the advice he gave me, but it sadly reminded me that our relationship is not what it used to be. As for Booty Caller, wouldn' even waste my time and Mr. Government---he would listen if he was around but he's off on business and its hard to text message the whole saga. He does get two points for asking about it in 4 text messages today.

So, reality. I am on my own and that's okay. Somehow, I will figure out the answers to all my problems. I think I will take a bath now, listen to Kyle Minogue, fantasize in my tub, light some candles, read the Violet Blue book I am reading for review on my site called "The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio" (gotta practice--I have my big day with Booty Caller on Wed. He reserved the room for three hours. I am going to try that lip thing on him too---plus whatever I learn from this book).

The Best Position For Your Lips During A Blow Job
Try it, you'll be amazed: Put your finger in your mouth.Move it back and forth with your lips in an "O". Feel the sensation. Nice but a little rough and dry. Now, use the inside of your mouth, right inside your lips and do the same thing.--your lips should look like a blow fish or Mick Jagger. Feel the difference. It is so much more succulent, wet and smooth.

Now if you have any tricks up your sleeve. I'd love to know from your personal experience, what has made a man moan and go crazy. If your a guy, what really turns you on. Hey, if Booty Caller is as good as he says, I better have some ammo up my sleeve (or in my pants or mouth)! He you know me--always eager to please!

Mental Stimulation over Mental Masturbation

I'm definitely in a weird frame of mind tonight and I have a feeling I know what it is. Chris-my soulmate. Yup! Hate to harp on it but we had a nice conversation last night and I miss him--It was a totally friends conversation --. Okay, this is going to sound weird but I miss the mental stimulation from him. Our connection is more important to me than the physical part. It is the foreplay of the mind (okay I'm turning into a geek).

I truly enjoy it more than my sexual conversations with Booty Caller and Mr. Government. I feel like both Mr. Government and Booty Caller are more like mental masturbation. How do I know that? Booty Caller emailed me to confirm our fucking date for this week. I have no desire to email back right now---he can wait a little bit. He claims I won't be able to walk after...he's getting the room for 3 hours (hmmm..some mental masturbation...let's see if he comes through.)

And Mr. Government, something is strange. He text messages, he calls yet--I don't feel a connection. It's hard to talk to someone over text message--I personally hate it. I'm a yacker (this post was suppose to be one line tonight). So everytime we go back and forth and I mention if he has time for coffee this week, the text message takes a long time to come back. I'm good with intuition and something isn't right. Of course, it could be his job. He's not alone a lot. Who knows....actually I am surprised. I fucked the guys brains out and I am totally okay with the fact that it may not happen again.

So, tonight, I'm thinking, it's time to review another Married Online Personals Site. Some new blood maybe. Out with the old, in with the new. All right, just in with the new. Any suggestions of a good site? I have reviewed the ones I've been to already on my website - www.rendezvousradio.com/personals_online.htm

I'm thinking either D.A.N. Society or Adult Friend Finder. Those are my next on my list for review. Anyone had success, total failure etc. AND were you looking for a discreet relationship. Let me know...

My Booty Caller Rendezvous

How perfect--the Waterfall Room for our encounter! At least I won't be the only thing wet and flowing in the room!

Well, it looks like it may finally come to be. Yes, Booty Caller has made the arrangements for a hot afternoon of sex this week. I get wet just thinking about it. I can't help but think he's going to have a sleepless night again the night before and bail....but if he doesn't. This is going to be one fucking hot afternoon. He's 6'2"....muscular, blonde, blue eyes and just so suave. The good news...is that I have grown up since my younger day of going after the "Bad Boy". Yes, I've finally learned that its the core that is important. However, what's wrong with a lustful day in a motel room? I will never fall for this guy. Morally, we are on two different planets. I'm a giver...he's such a taker, taker and taker. Life is all about him. However, he's getting nervous that I am getting to him a little. Oh well! Such is life. I don't feel bad. It actually feels good that I know no matter how great the sex is going to be, no matter how good he claims his tongue can work (I am so dying to feel his tongue on my clit)...I would never fall for him.

So you all thought I was out of my sappy poem writing right?! Oh no! I wrote one for the occasion. Enjoy! Gotta go do the website tonight!

My Booty Caller Rendezvous-
"Life Goes In Circles!"
By Cheri Moore

I've known guys like you my whole life,
The type you never expect to settle down and have a wife,
Your muscles, brains, suave and secure,
You have that magnetism and that animalistic allure,
You sweet talk them, you fuck them and then you are done,
The poor girl thought she was going to be the one

Well its many years later, Booty Caller, my dear.
And you've made your supposed intentions quite clear,
However, I know what to expect so I'd be more worried about you,
You see Life Is A Circle, you may be on the other side of the screw,
Your petrified its going to turn into more than a fling,
You seem to be so petrified of this turning into an emotional thing.
You see I know I want nothing more from you than a Booty Call,
Its going to be you not me if anyone is going to fall,
You see, I just don't look at the outside, I'm interested in a person's core,
With the years, I'm a very different person than I was before,
I look at a person's good ethics, good heart and good intentions as a cue,
And these are traits that you told me that you contain very few,
So love and emotional attachment won't even cross my mind.
Your smooth , your sexy but you've admitted to being a swine.
So my dear, those thrusts, the heat, the sweat--I have no doubt you are going to be a great fuck!
But when it's over, I'll smile, be contented, kiss you and say goodby and good luck!
I can't wait to screw your brains out!

Too Close Friends

Nothing exciting today...actually I did an unusual thing....I relaxed. And I just sat around and thought about no men...that's right, no Mr. Government, no Booty Caller and no Chris. And it was great. Mr. G- did text message me just to say hi, he's got a good heart.

Anyway, as you probably know by now, every once in a while I have the urge to write a sappy poem, and last night was one of those nights. So, sorry, no sexual fantasies tonight...its sappy poem night!

Too Close Friends! By Cheri Moore
Emotional walls and actual distance seems to separate us even more,
But everyday I keep longing to see your face at my door,
Yet you seem to be disappearing father in the dark,
Have you forgotten the peace, the connection that day in the park?

The passion is slowly fading and sadly the friendship is too,
Do I pressure, retreat, what do you want me to do?!
I want our connection to flourish and continue to bloom
Yet it seems you are determined our destiny to be doom.

So my love, can't we relax and just enjoy each other and the day,
Some lunch, some laughs and we don't have to even play,
Totally happy, totally carefree, totally into our own little place,
Our eyes and souls will do the talking when we are finally face to face.
Just too close friends discussing all the common things that we share,
Just too close friends enjoying that special connection that is so rare!
I miss us!

Pushed to Volcanic Eruption

Very few people know how to push my buttons. Actually my mother, my youngest child and my soulmate, Chris. Why are they able to crawl under my skin? They know my inner soul the best. My mother, well, I don't even want to touch that one, my littlest child--is me in a little version so its easy and Chris, well he knows my inner thoughts and can finish my sentences. So when he wants to hurt me, its easy for him.
I am a big believer that you never say something you are going to regret and for the most part I do live by that rule. It's just when someone pushes me and pushes me (usually my mom or Chris) when the volcanic eruption starts.....I know there is no turning back. If they start throwing vicious and hurtful words, I find myself going for the throat AND I regret it. Hence, my run in with Chris today. But first, a quick update on Booty Caller and Mr. Government:

Booty Caller-is hot...he's hot and he has a way with words. He's the bad guy you are suppose to stay away from. He compared me yesterday to a riptide...."looking innocent yet deadly". He wants to meet next week, he promises it would be an experience to remember. And, I do believe him. He was single, a player for many years, settled down because everyone else was, but I know he has a bunch of tricks up his sleeve. Just thinking about his muscles on top of me just makes my so wet.

Mr. Government- He's working a lot and hard to get away right now. If its the truth, well its bad timing. He does send me Text messages everyday. Today, he actually called to say hi. If it doesn't happen again between us (all though he says he truly wants it)...it would be due to his guilt. Not his wife, but his kids. And that I can respect. We'll see, right now this rollercoaster is just cruising along--the question is what is around the corner, the big fall or the big climax?!

And Chris-- He has been so much less tolerable to my sarcasm. We spoke yesterday and the connection was so fucking strong. I can't explain it. He knows me like a book and makes me laugh so hard. WE both felt it....he IM'd me and just as I was thinking it--he wrote "good thing we don't live so close". Freaky huh?

Anyway, lately when we have that deep connection we both get squirmy, I bitch and he freaks. So, of course, we had a run in this morning over the podcast and him just shutting off in the middle of us IMing. He said his wife came in. So I was wrong for getting angry but he used to type Bye, Wife..something. I just thought was annoyed and just clicked me off. He knows it drives me crazy when he just shuts off the IM.

Well some back and forth how he can't take me and then Chris said: "Thank G-d I never slept with you, you would want every fucking second of my time" He proceeded to call me "Psycho Girl". Now that is fighting words, volcanic eruption words. I have been so patient with him....well yes, I turned vicious.....he wanted "Psycho Girl" he got it.

I basically told him that "I'm glad we never slept together either and by the way, I don't require every minute, you can ask the guy I've slept with!" "I don't haunt him, I'm actually sweet and stable"

After I typed it, it was gone, as I read it, I wanted to take it back. This was not the way I wanted to tell him that I slept with someone. Chris response: "I don't want to hurt you" "I'll call you later" was all I got.

Later today, we did IM. He made it clear, we should try to just be friends, that he needed a little space. I agreed. But I felt him shut his heart down towards me today and that really, really hurt. When you have this weird connection, its not the words, its something else that comes through. I think my soulmate close his heart to me for good. I just want to cry!

Part 3-Releasing The Fantasy

Chris and I are somewhat back on track as friends I asked him not to stop by my blog because all I see is that it would cause us to fight more. I didn't tell him about Mr. Government because we agreed not to talk about others.

I did send him Part 1 of Releasing my fantasy and well it hit way too close to home. He loved it, agreed with it, wants to do it yet....it's not going to happen with him. That's okay. Right now, I really feel more comfortable with a friendship. So here's the final episode of my fantasy rendezvous with him!

Part 3: Experimenting and Exploring
Well I've been married for a long time and well, experimenting has gone out the window. Yeah, we do different positions but really getting into experimenting with a fetish, isn't happening. Surprisingly, it's not that he wouldn't, it's the point of telling him it's okay (and if I want to with him).

But Chris and I have always been opened about what we would like to do in life. It's nice to be able communicate so openly with someone. So Part 3 is the combining our desires. The lust is covered in part 1, the emotion in part 2 and part 3 is the fun and fetish part of our fantasy.

After totally fulfilling our lust, our sexual intensity and then our soulmate connection--it's now time to turn to fulfilling our dreams of exploration. I have never had anal sex but I have masturbated and used my GoodnPlenty to see that the orgasms are wild. In fact, it is becoming easier for me to cum when my anal is involved. The muscles are so tight, so unexplored and it is truly erotic. So part 3 is just about us having fun..exploring and trusting each other.

Playfully we are in each others arms, teasing and fooling around when our lips once again connect. It's a playful, sinful and lustful connection. One that I can see is going to go to places I've never gone. He slowly ties me up to the bed. Each hand to the headboard with my scarf belts. He begins to explore down my body with his lips, circling my nipples and then biting them, I can feel them erecting and pulsating...I begin to moan alittle.

In my head, I fantasize that I am being held captive by him. That he is going to do whatever he pleases, even against my will. He works his way down my stomach with his lips and begins to eat me out. With a vengence, sucking on my lips, using his tongue to circle my clitoris...it's making me crazy. And then, his tongue lowers. He now has his tongue in my anal. Giving me a rimming that I never imagined would make me climax like it is. The constant circling is driving me crazy. He now inserts a finger, and I can feel my body arch. He now inserts two fingers and I am beginning to lose control. The pace of his finger thrusting inside of me is way too much for me to handle. I have lost control. I am begging for him to fuck me. I am begging for him to give it to me up my ass and so he responds.

He unties my arms but them ties them together. Flips me over to doggie style and then lubes up his cock. That well endowed cock is certainly going to need a lot of lubing. And then he inserts his cock and slowly begins to thrust. I can't take it, I scream and moan as I experience an orgasm like never before. I have finally climaxed and experienced anal sex. Now its his turn! It's his turn to feel what anal sex is all about. The sensation....the pulsations. It's time to hit his G spot!

Part 3A-has to be continued later, sorry!! I have to work and this is now making me way to hot!

HOT! Violet Blue's Review Books Arrive

I am so thrilled that my sexuality has woken up. In fact, the more I read, the more I want to experiment. Bad news, there is no one specific to experiment on. Mr. G- is weirding a little. I guess the first time cheating and he is trying to get his head together. I am on his mind all the time and its making him feel guilty. He wants me yet, he feels he can't be enough for me. However, if I need more, he wants us to just be friends. Wow! This seems like a re-run of "My Soulmate". So what is it? Why are these guys so sure that I need more? Ironically, neither one of these guys thought to ask me what I need.

And Booty Caller, we're on for next week but I'm sure he will back out too. Actually, I have been very busy in a reading mode lately. Booty Caller recommended a book Many Lives, Many Masters. Have you ever read it? Well they didn't have that one at the library so I took out "Only Love Is Real". This is a really deep book. It's about finding your soulmate. I got chills when it talked about looking into someone's eyes and immediately knowing they are your soulmate from a different life. Okay, this book is deep, a little disturbing BUT I was shocked that Booty Caller was into this.

Like I said, I have been in a reading mode. Violet Blue's books just arrived. Are you familiar with Violet Blue? she is excellent! She is a sex expert and writer. I have to tell you that reading her books make you feel so much more comfortable with your sexuality. I strongly recommend reading them. I am starting off with The Ultimate in Fellatio (A follow up to the book Blow Him Away-which the review is on my site in Cheri's Book Club---a great book). Mandy is reviewing a book on sexual fantasies---she said it is amazing! Her review will be up by the end of the week. Let's just say, there was one fantasy that she kept calling me all day that she couldn't get it out of her head. It must have been pretty intense because Mandy isn't an obssessive personality type.

So if you are interested in buying her books or reading the reviews, go to Cheri's Book Club at www.rendezvousradio.com (I will make a $1.00 for every book ordered--I can see the millions adding up)!

And if you want to know more about Violet Blue www.tinynibbles.com Definitely check her out~

Sorry a boring post---I just am really into this book and want to read a little more tonight.

Considering to Become Asexual

I am really tired of men. I'm sorry guys, I just don't understand the male race. I think I am going to become asexual or just masturbate from here to eternity!

Mr. G- stopped by last night at it was really late (2AM)...he just gave me a kiss and left. Which was extremely sweet considering that he had to drive out of his way just for a kiss.

It's funny how I have found that those personal sites that get you to find your match, is usually the reason why you start doubting the one you choose. A quick prelude--Mr. G- says in his profile that he only wants one woman AND in emails he specifically said that he didn't want to get involved with me if I was involved with other men. So idiot me, falls for it line and sinker. Hmmm...it's a two way street baby or maybe its not.

Got a note from the personal site that my mailbox was overflowing. I haven't been there in over two weeks. For obvious reasons, Booty Caller, Chris and Mr. G. Went to the site, clicked on his profile for the goof and the asshole was there yesterday. Okay, that made me feel like shit. I have no doubt that the sex was amazing for him because he hasn't stopped talking about it. Look, he was moaning and groaning and he came two times. He doesn't stop sending text messages on how great it was. So, he's a player. Which would have been fine but be honest. Here we are that honesty thing again. Are guys not able to be honest?

So, I'm a bitch with this honesty thing. I was actually about to turn Booty Caller away. Yes, booty caller is back. I was so wrapped up with Mr. G-, I forgot to tell you that Booty Caller and I have been corresponding back and forth again. He wants to meet this week, says he can't stop thinking about me. Oh yeah! I'm believing those lines. But he has this thing with snuggling. It's funny. Actually, I will leave you with an excerpt from our emails back and forth tonight with me ranking on him regarding his snuggling issue he has. He compares sex to a basketball game, an activity not an emotional attachment.

BC-"What a busy weekend, first chance I got to get on the computer. How about Wednesday or Thursday?"
Cheri-"Have to let you know how the week goes. May be tough to get it together next week, tight schedule. Oh! found a song on Indie Site-Booty Call...I'll call ya tomorrow at work. xoxoox (those are kisses and snuggles...you know I am going to snuggle you don't you?-lol)"
BC- "I figured out an alternative to snuggling. I'll pick up a big teddy bear so he can be a stand in snuggler for me. Checked out the motel online...it looks good."
Cheri- "You crack me up! I would bring this life size bear but I think someone would notice me walking out with it. So, we screw each others brains out.....sweaty and our hearts racing...you then:
1) pull out, throw your clothes on and run for the door
2) jump up, get dressed and leave a $1000 bucks on the dresser
3) lay down BUT put up a sheet between us so we are on opposite sides of the bed
4) give me a high five, great screw and grab a souvenir towel as you walk out the door.
I'm trying to figure out this game approach theory. What exactly is the game approach theory after you would pull out of me? How do you see the last 10 minutes for the game playing out? Just curious....I don't remember ever being with someone and not just laying back down in their arms and even BSing a little so I am curious on how this theory works You are so funny, I am dying from you!!! I almost want to screw you just to see how the game approach works in action! lol"
BC-"Stop trying to figure it out....I don't even know. Just stock up on batteries and drink a lot of water the night before. So try to open a 3 hours window for us to play this week and have some fun."

Well Mr. Booty Caller , after my letdown with Mr G tonight, looks like my schedule might have just opened up next week. And, yes, you know he's going to be snuggling with me!! Okay, maybe after I screw Booty Caller this week, then I will become asexual!

Simple Words- "How was ur day?"

Standing Out From The Rest....
It amazes me. 4 simple words, "How was your day?" can make such a difference. Mr. Government is the only one who asks me --(except for my girlfriends) how was MY DAY? At first, I was taken back. I had to think. How was my day?!? It gets better. I give a quick two line response AND he follows up with a question. So he was listening AND he really cared. This was a shocker to me and a true revelation.

Those simple 4 words really got me thinking . All these guys I have been emailing (and the hubby included) and they all tell me about THEIR Day. And I am always asking how their day was. (Chris used to ask how is your day going? Not as much these days but once in a while). Mr. G- asks every day that we speak either at the beginning of the day or he'll just email at the end of the day and write how was your day? Nice..I really like it.

So, think about it. Do you ask your significant other..how was their day? Do you listen? Take two minutes out of your day and try it. I'm curious if any one elses guy or gal notices that you asked and listened! Maybe I can get a research grant and do a study on this. hmm. maybe I'll call Shrinky Dink to help me (NOT)!!
Have a good day! Oh! I'll write about last night later. It was great...just I am pre-occupied with my real life right now!

Rendezvous Radio Podcast and Website

Have you visited my website yet? I admit it, I am addicted to this blog! I love writing my thoughts of the day and sharing them with you. But, I've been neglecting the research for my website and well Chris won't give me a straight answer on whether he's doing the podcast....so today I decided I am focusing this weekend on my podcast and website. Enough procrastination!

Actually I have learned so much from the research and I am finding new and exciting fetishes and positions that I want to try. Now for a single girl, it's probably old news (at least most of them) but hey, I've been married for a long time so this is a whole new world for me. So I sit at the computer research, fantasize andmy pussy has been more wet and horny these past few months than probably the last 10 years.

The hubby is away again this weekend with one of my kids. I am home withe the others but I plan on working and working all weekend. Except, I did talk with Mr. Government and told him hubby is gone. He's actually gone all day on some business and will be returning tonight...late. I told him that maybe he should stop by. Now, a rule of smart cheating is do not let someone know where you live. However, with him...one touch of a button and I know he could know everything about me. So I've made an exception here to the smart cheating rule.

Okay, back to my website. www.rendezvousradio.com Please visit and let me know what you think. It's still under construction but it has a lot of useful information. Is there anything missing that I should add? Let me know!

Methods of Dealing With Insecurity and Sarcasm!

Today was actually a great day...for absolutely no reason. Well, okay, that's not true, everytime I would think about my rendezvous, it puts a smile on my face and my pussy has been wet all day. I guess Juicy is a good nickname for me after all.

And what I am finding is Mr. Government is good for my soul and head. I admit it, I am a little maintenance. Not super high maintenance but I do like the little thoughtful things. Some communication that you are thinking about me. Doesn't have to be a full conversation, a little text message, IM or message on my voice mail is perfect. And Mr. G- is good at that. And stupid things like, "how was your day? and he really wants to know what I did and how my day was. " Such a simple thing that I didn't realize was missing from my life until now.

I am a strange mix. I am a strong, confident businesswoman who will stop at nothing to get what I want. I am not vicious but will negotiate with a sweet smile on my face. As some people would say...watch out when I take something on that is important to me. I go full force..."the building shakes when you are in it!"

Yet, when it comes to personal things I can be insecure. I am a thinker and analyzer. My mind starts to think too much and I fill in the blanks causing me to get sarcastic and defensive. Can you believe it..ME SARCASTIC?!? But, I noticed that every guy deals with insecurity and sarcasm differently. So here is my version of how guys (and gals) online deal with:
The Methods of Dealing With Insecurity, Conflict & Sarcasm:

The Retreat Method- --ignore the situation totally and disappear from email and IM for awhile. (aka) the school teachers approach, control freak and cold bastard/bitch approach

The Ignore Method- this is selective hearing. Write back like the other person never said anything---a sure way to make that person feel like they are in the Twilight Zone and cause them to go back and re-read what they sent to you. Spinning of the mind, confusion...

The Attack Method- Add salt to the wound. Magnify the person's insecurities and cause them to feel even worse than they did before. Attempt to make them feel like pond scum and like they need to seek professional help.

Re-Assurance Method-quick acknowledgement and quick re-assurance with a smooth, sweet comment or one to make them laugh. And move on. "Hey sexy, couldn't get away but was thinking about you". or "Relax sex kitten, crazy day but thought about your tongue and its abilities"

The Shrinky Dink Method- Try to psychologically analyze it, drag it out and patronize the person like they are on a shrink's couch. Hmmmm.....

The Baggage Method- use it as an opportunity to drag in all past problems and baggage into it. Pull out all the dirty laundry--even that skanky pair of underwear that's been all the way in the back of the closet!

The Drama Method- Truly magnify the little insecurity as if it is the as important as "whether to pull the plug on a life support machine". Pull in a variety of the other methods above and distort it to the max.

Did I miss any? Let me know! Have a great night and day.

No longer a Virgin Cheater..finally!

Well, I think they say you have to watch out for the quiet ones. Well, once again, who ever they are is correct. I had an amazing, amazing afternoon with MR. G-. And yes, it was intense and hot.

AS I told you, he has this thing with discreet. Now I do to but sometimes its a little extreme and while you are trying to look indiscreet, you actually stand out. My point, he was killing me with his "Disguise". Anyway, we decided we'd have to meet at a motel if we were going to be able to have anytime alone. So, we did. It was fun, I had no idea where I was going or when. He sent me a text message first with the exact time and location. Then when I got there, he sent me the room number. I knocked on the door and he opened it up to meet me with one red rose and there were rose petals on the bed (he knows I like flowers). Now, this is smooth. I'm sure you are thinking, he's getting laid. And so he did! Yes, it's official, the Virgin Cheater has officially become a cheater.

He kissed me so gently and slowly moved me over to the edge of the bed. No pressure but honestly, I was so wet that I could feel my underwear was soaked. It began slowly, gently with light kisses and then it became quite intense. We were devouring each other. Clothes were flying , my boot almost hit the tv, it was quite amusing. As he slipped his hand into my pants, he just looked at me and said you are so damn wet....I couldn't help but laugh. What do you expect with all the anticipation of this moment, I would have been really concerned if I was dry. He inserted his fingers and it felt like he was digging for gold. IT felt so fucking good that I was moaning. I could feel my body quivering. He has a way with those hands boy. And well, his body. I was shocked how muscular he was. He hides it under those clothes but he had the nicest ass and legs. They were all muscle. I was shocked looking at him with no clothes. A six pack too , what a nice surprise!

I knew he was dying for a blow job. So, the tease I am. I started at his ear and slowly worked my way down his body. Licking every inch of his chest, circling his nipples and making a direct line with my tongue to the target. Now, 15 years of marriage, you kind of stop worrying about technique. So I was a little concerned. However, if you've read my website, you know our first book review was "Blow Him Away". Actually, it's half up but Mandy and I discussed it at coffee. So, I decided to use one of the techniques that was in the book. It's the idea that you use the inside of your lips not your actual lips (read Mandy's review completely in two days--I've been so busy blogging--I am slacking on the site). Anyway, it works! He would moan everytime I did it. Pretty amazing!

So now the big moment, I don't know how he asked me because I was busy panting but all I remember saying was Yes! Well, that was it. It was so hot and intense. It was actually missionary but it was perfect. He was excellent at thrusting and really was able to get totally inside of me. I could feel myself shaking with each pulse. I heard him moaning, talking to God and calling my name but my head was nine thousand miles away in my own orgasmic state. He collapsed next to me, a little snuggling, a little giggling and round 2.

This time, my favorite position "Doggie" man that guy can thrust. I was moaning and my lips were just tightening around him. I was drenched..he was able to easily slide in and out and it was just so smooth. Come on Cheri, I want you to have an orgasm, come on , well, I cannot believe how I was flying in the sky. He was so attuned to getting me to peak...it was great.

Afterwards, we just laid there and talked a little. It was a little awkward since we both had never done this before (all though I wonder about him). But I really felt great. I have no regrets. Well it was a screw and run! He had to get back to work and I had to get back to life. I walked around in a daze the rest of the day. But I have no regrets and it was really nice. Morally, I am wrestling with it but you can't turn back the hands of time and I would probably do it again. A new partner was amazing.

So today, I woke up to an email "Good Morning Juicy..I thoroughly enjoyed yesterday xoxox" and it brought a smile to my face. I nickname all my lovers and now one of my lovers nicknamed me! I sent him an ecard (I'm a sucker for those ecards)...it was just lips with you're delicious! I had a great time! Later in the day, he sent me one back that was a rose and it said something with passion and how I loved to be entwined with you. He's smooth.

So I have a smile on my face. Still something is a little off but I don't care right now. The memory of the afternoon delight brings that much needed smile to this Juicy's face!!! Sweet Dreams!