In response..

Wow! And to think I just went to work and to my kid's school for a Halloween Party!!! With all that I write about it's the Halloween costume remark that brought out such cruel statements.

Thank you all who came to my defense. Everyone is entitled to their opinion-I respect that. Funny with all my blogs--I've never called anyone a vicious name.

My blog is my diary, my life. If you don't like it, please don't come here. Yes, I have cheated. Yes, I have used it as an escape to survive. And Yes, I am not proud of it. Funny two years ago, it would have been me thinking how horrible it is to cheat on your spouse. But life takes funny turns and unless you have come to them....you will never know which road you will take. Because I would have never chose this one (or so I thought).

But all I am going to say is: "Do Not Judge A Man Till You have walked a mile in their shoes"!
And trust me, you don't want my shoes to walk in. I don't say that as a drama statement just a fact.

So did you say such harsh words to hurt me? congratulations, you did! I hope it made you feel better.

Disappointment

Disappointment is when you ask your husband throughout the weekend and yesterday to get down the Halloween costumes from the attic and he doesn't.

Disappointment is when you start screaming at 6AM that he still didn't do it and you didn't sleep all night because you knew they weren't down.

Disappointment is when you find out--he can't find them and the bus will be here in five minutes.

Disappointment and Anger builds when you have to throw together a Halloween costume and turn your two beautiful princess' with all the accessories into fucking Hockey players.

Do you wonder why I resent him?

Disappointment...

I'll be back with my original post of my masturbation session BUT I had to get this out of my system right now.... tears are flowing from disappointment!

Mirror Mirror all Shattered On The Floor....

Do you believe in superstitions? Walking under a ladder, black cats, breaking a mirror??

Well this is a classic.....I was putting some stuff away in my drawers (okay, I was hiding some body dust stuff that I was hoping to use one day with a lover) when a mirror was leaning up against the drawer (yes, the mirror I asked the hubby to fix the base 100 times) AND the mirror fell towards the bed and SHATTERED into a million pieces!! Did I happen to mention also that it was my Anniversary??!!

I used to believe in all the superstitions (I guess I try not to let black cats cross my path or even walk under ladders)....BUT I just started to laugh and laugh and laugh!! SO what will it be--7 years of bad luck?!? Or did it shatter my soul?? A soul which already has all these cracks in it anyway. Well I looked for ways to counteract this shattering and most you have to do the second you break it (like turn counter clockwise three times) how the fuck are you suppose to know to do that? Well that's not fair. Throw salt over your shoulder three times (okay, I'll do that one) and bury the mirror in the moonlight. So I'll be out there tonight burying a piece of the mirror-- JUST IN CASE!

To celebrate our Anniversary...we went out to dinner with friends. Actually, it was fun. But ironically when they brought the sparkled candle over...my husband was busy on the phone with another sport's father discussing the trip they were going on tonight for my son's sporting event.

How ironic...he is gone and I am there alone with three waiters singing Happy Anniversary. I just looked at my girlfriend and we both starting laughing out of control. She knew exactly what I was thinking. (Poor waitress went back in the kitchen and re-played it again 10 minutes later). I didn't even mention it to my husband, he couldn't have known she was coming over BUT it was funny.

I gotta tell ya...I've been so feeling so alone lately. And I'm not, I'm surrounded by people all day. But its an inner loneliness....that void is there and as deep as ever. Having an affair (or just a rendezvous) is similiar to an addiction to drugs. The anticipation, the actual fucking of someones brains out with such passion---is a high that is just soooo addicting. The desire to be entwined with someone, sucking on their cock, that moment of orgasm..... I JUST WANT IT!! I CRAVE IT!! I FANTASIZE ABOUT IT!!

Dysfunctional Frog Update:
Smiley is gone. I can't figure out what his deal was. We met, it was hot. He called after saying how into me he was. We had a couple of convos (that honking on that road) and that was it. Things were really great---but he would never commit to an exact next meeting. Well, I am not into the games--I sent him a note saying it was great meeting him...and good luck in your search. Totally leaving it on good terms. Hey, here is a guy who has six smileys on Ashley Madison ...I think he is more addicted than me. He's having woman juggling problems!!

Mr. Prize- he apologized, he was sincere. But I don't think he really understood why I was upset. Hard if I have a trust issue with someone (Especially when the basis of me allowing him to show me new and unique sexual things--really relies on trusting that person to take you into the unknown). I think I am not going to call, he knows where to find me. He's busy on Ashley as well.

Mr. Springer--I'm hoping to meet with him this week. Being breakfast has just been such a hot thought...fantasizing about it all week. We will see...he's a pure sex guy. Although, ironically, we talk and talk and talk about our lives and our day....we make each other laugh every day. It's nice. He says I am crazy but he loves my wildness. "I keep thinking about your damn lips". The Cheri lips sucked him in!! lol
Tadpole.......we talk all the time. No updates...maybe he would like to fill in this spot...because I don't know what the deal is. But I do enjoy him...he makes me laugh. Dry humor, tells ya like it is.

My profile is back up on Ashley Madison and Married Secrets. We will see what happens with that.

Role Playing IS Super Hot and SEXY!

Ever fantasize about role playing? Why did I even ask....

Well what better time to load up on some costumes than on Halloween. Actually how about the day after Halloween.....great sales and no one will look at you like...okay its February, what is that guy/woman going to do with a costume (wink, wink).

So I went looking for some costumes and man oh man...I no longer have the same feeling when I look at these Halloween costumes. They all seem so damn sexual not like they used to seem just a few years back. I also think that most of these costumes are not ones that you would wear in public (unless you are looking for some hot trouble).

So, I have listed some that have caught my eye. But if you want some eye candy (a hardon or some wetness in your pants) take a look at the Leg Avenue's hot costume catalog. Man oh man you can sit there and fantasize for many hours.

But here are a few of the ones that caught my attention. Probably no surprises....


Okay, we all know how I feel about a man in a uniform. I admittedly got super hot for a man in a uniform, especially one that is law enforcement. Now, a man that carries a pistol and handcuffs...the fun is endless. "Oh Officer must you take me in?" "Oh, are the handcuffs necessary?" "I have no secrets, the investigation tactics are not necessary sir"!! Mmmm...yeah, oh yeah.....handcuffs will always hold a special place in my heart. Funny, Mr. Government never used them...oh I wanted to..but he was so by the book. There always was something hot about watching him take his gun off, knowing it was inches from us....oh man" Of course I can also play the policewoman...the fun with these costumes are endless.





"Knock, Knock"...."Misseur, it's maid service. I am here to serve you. It's my first day on the job sir, not sure what I am suppose to do". Can I straighten the bed, can I dust the furniture, oh sir they didn't say sucking your cock was part of the job description but okay sir, if that is what you want"....

Little Miss Muffett, sat your ..... okay we can certainly figure out where she sat and what she was eating in my fantasy!!

"If I only had a heart" A man's favorite--a woman who will not fall in love with them but will suck their cock dry!!

Of course there is the scare crow "If I only had a brain"...but the costume wasn't so sexy!!

"Hi, I'm your fairy for the evening. I must grant all of your wishes this evening. And my job is to keep you out of trouble, so I will stay with you throughout the night and grant your wishes and make sure I keep you out of trouble all night....

Aah!! The Nurse ...one of my dear favorites. "Sir, I am not sure what is wrong with you. I have been given orders to give you a whole workup until we can figure out what it is that you have. Every inch of you has to be examined sir. I need to take care of you too...make you all comfy...sponge bath, rectal exam....oh we will have to take sperm from you as well. I will be gentle.....

Oh I am the candy stripper on this floor. My job is to make you as comfortable as possible. What do you need? A backrub, a book to read, your cock sucked...I do it all...

Now there are some really, shear hot outfits as well...those are without a doubt meant only for the bedroom....and damn those were hot. And then I went looking at their regular lingerie. Hot, very hot. Sadly I don't have anyone to wear it for. Horny and lonely tonight...what a sad, sad thing. Do I look for new frogs or go solo for awhile? Hmmmm.....what's a girl to do. Well, I am going to head to the HEAD SHOP in my area...they had all these costumes on sale starting Sunday. Gotta have a few...definitely gotta get a few for future use and I'm not getting the angel...I'm getting tired of being soooo good this week.

Secret Lovers Lane Drama..And I am not part of it for a change!!

Well for the first time---I am just sitting back and watching my friends secret lover rendezvous'. Yes, I have nothing to report today for me--but a shitload on my friends.

Mandy, dear Mandy, haven't spoken about her in awhile. Mandy had an affair during the summer with some guy. It was hot and intense and well....he called one day and said I miss you. She said "Me too! I'll call you back in 10 minutes" he wouldn't take her call after that (another fucked up dysfunctional frog)

Now she is back with her long time affair (except I don't know if you can call it that because they have only officially fucked once kind of??). Anyway, Mandy has been saying that she wants this guy to take her to a motel and screw her brains out. they seem to only meet for 15 minutes here, 10 minutes there..lots of parking lot action. So, she keeps telling me she is only going to fool around again if he takes her to a motel. She calls today-- I blew him in the car again last night. Okay Mandy, did you cum? No, I can't cum in 10 minutes. I want to kill that girl....its time for him to put his time in!!

At 2PM today, being the angel that I am (hee.hee) I was working and my phone rings. "She fucking knows"...my girlfriend has been seeing this guy for 6 months now. They are hot and heavy. Both planning to divorce their spouses, each waiting for the perfect time. His kids were going to be off to college next year and she is just getting set up to take the final steps. They are a cute couple actually and he adores her. There plans to divorce have nothing to do with each other meeting. Both were considering it for a long time.

Out of the blue one day his wife started harping about divorce, you want one! You want one! He finally blurted out...I DO! Well all the shit hit the fan that day and he took advantage of the opportunity. Things started out smooth, they were going into mediation and well it looked like it was going to be an okay divorce (if there is one). EXCEPT....today she found evidence about my girlfriend....well the woman did a flip. Let's say smashing the windshield, police called by neighbors because she was beating him with a flashlight...and this all happened near my friends house. UGLY!!

Things calmed down a little, she grabbed her kids (without them knowing why) and left her house and she had hoped the scene was over. she didn't want chancing that the wife would come down the block and make a scene. She knows who she is and where she lives (they aren't friends though and don't know each other).

Later on that night......
I was out doing a carpool in another local town. When I noticed two police cars. I actually never knew where her friend lived BUT now I do. When he got home, his wife went crazy again. Scratching him, breaking things, smashing him over the head with things...he had no choice but to call the cops. How bizarre that I would be passing by as this was all occurring. Of course, I called my girlfriend to tell her what I was seeing. I sat there trying to figure out what was going on. Her friend was holding ice on his head but no one was arrested. He's heading to court in the morning.

So needless to say, I feel horrible for all that are involved here. The wife was fine with the divorce until she thought there was someone else. She even told him she didn't love him either anymore--they were good friends until today. It's sad for everyone involved and the volcanic environment has my girlfriend freaking that this woman is going to show up at her door.

What can I say?? I can't. Actually seeing her situation today definitely scared me. I was getting careless and this really made me realize how important it is to be totally discreet and cover your paths if you choose to take this path. Let's just say...even if you plan separate trips with separate credit cards and separate agendas....the airlines is going to write the person who booked the flights on the agenda (even though everything was separate). Who knew??? Well now we all know...

So what do you do? Continue to live in misery? Take the chance? It all seems so damn difficult and scary either way.

A Good Girl Today!!

Yup! I was a very good girl today. An angel!!

I worked all day and hardly flirted at all.

Okay, so I did a little but not much. Mr. Prize, well I am disappointed that he lied. I know you aren't suppose to expect anything from anyone but I did kind of expect from him. Thought he was a little different from other frogs......duh Cheri...what the fuck were you thinking. As the saying goes

"A Frog is A Frog is A Frog" I'm sure you have all heard that one before!!

No, we are still friends but I don't know how I feel right now. If he would lie about a small thing like that, it makes it hard for me to believe the bigger things.

Mr. Springer was very flirty today...sending me little text messages throughout the day. But I gotta tell ya...he is a barracuda and I wouldn't want to cross him. Not with me, but I see how he is with work. He works hard and parties hard. The bad boy there that is quite intriguing (and dangerous).

But I can't help but feel wet when he sends me a text saying...".damn, I'm so horny wish my tongue was inside of you right now" Can you say.....OMG!!!!

But I have to tell you....I hit a real snag today. I can't tell you what it is but I was feeling very vulnerable. Thankfully, one of my podcast listeners helped me (thanks Steve). Now, as you can remember, I was turned on to blogging and podcasting from Soulmate Chris. We haven't spoken in awhile...but my point is ....I was freaking and I sent him an SOS asking for help. And within seconds, he emailed me back. And you know what, at that point, it didn't even matter if he could help or not, it was the fact that I knew if I ever really needed him...he was still my friend and he would help me (as I would for him).

Corny? I guess. But I have to tell you that the best thing that has come out of this past year is that I really have made some great friends in the blogosphere as well as through the affair sites (okay I would add those amazing orgasms as well BUT the friendships have been so important and helped me through the hard days--so thanks my blog friends).

Cheri's Sex Strike Is Over!

Striking is part of the American way. Its used to prove a point and get what they want from their employers. They take a stand!

Well the Cheri Strike Is Over! Peace Treaty is Signed!

There was an injunction placed on my pussy to go back to work!!

Yes, I folded. I gave in to the demands under distress.

Seems the hubby was beginning to question my going so long without sex. His mind was starting to wander and we got into a heated discussion. Leading to him not saying but kind of hinting that maybe I was having an affair or that it was okay for him to have one since he wasn't getting it at home (relating this to a couple we know who is having marriage problems).

He did get a job. Things have not really improved that much but enough that I didn't want to totally shake the boat. He was starting to weird out on me.... so the strike is over.

Gotta tell ya...the man does know how to finger me. He .works to get my g-spot and his knuckles are moving outside of my ass. I admit, he's able to get me to cum that way. Even if I am totally turned off, my body responds to that.

The actual act, well, well, well. It's not his fault, its me. We did it from behind and he thrusted for a long time--usually something that gets me wild. We even did it off the bed from behind with him standing. And I felt the guilt...the guilt that I knew if I was going to cum, I needed to fantasize it was someone else. And so I did. A deep fantasy that a lover was taking me to new heights. It was yummy...but I was feeling really guilty right now. I mean, I was fantasizing about a real live person not some eye candy movie star.

So I am not going to elaborate on the details...he is my husband. Let's just say, what is your sex life like with your spouse (and Joe don't answer!)? Is it hot and erotic? Is it mind blowing? Is it alive and animalistic? Hmmm....I think I know that answer.


Some of the men on Ashley could certainly get me going just with their kisses. So I think enough is said on this topic--the strike is over. Case closed.

And as for a 69 Breakfast.....it got canceled. Last night as we were IMing, his kid puked. So this morning when I was getting ready for the day (and my Breakfast 69) a text came through. His kid is sick! Ugh!! My heart dropped. I was lusting for some pure sex. I wanted it to be downright ruthless and hot and an out of body experience. I have so much bottled up inside that my imagination was going wild. I wanted it....desperately wanted it. But I do understand the sick kid thing. Oh well. Hopefully we can reschedule soon..actually its either tomorrow or next week and he had meetings all day tomorrow so that is probably not going to happen. Sigh!!


So today was a strange day--throwing myself into my work...and really feeling a loneliness I haven't felt in awhile. It's okay, I had an amazing day at work today. I really kicked ass and am working on a phenomenal deal which may even change my bargaining power if everything works out. But I just went through the motions today. I know..work on me. And I am!! This hit felt good....just gotta concentrate on it and not the flashes of hot sex in my head.

Deceived AGAIN!

So what is the difference between not telling someone something and lying to them? IS there a difference?

I don't think so. It's deception. It's not being 100% honest. Yet it amazes me how people don't see that has lying.

I don't trust many people. Actually, there are few that I open my heart to and bear my soul. Yeah, I do to all of you but the difference is that there is no expectations from my blog. You are my diary. You are my notebook of my life.

How many times have I said over and over that the worst thing for me is for someone to mislead me. Over and over I have said how that is my husband' MO. Never telling the whole truth. That is what makes me more nuts than anything in the world. Someone to purposefully not tell me something. And then the world wonders why I have problem with trusting men. Hmmm....let's see because most of them have deceived me with their nondisclosures.

Mr. Prize and I had what I thought was a really special friendship. I told him everything, I let him read my blog...I really opened up to him. I had no secrets...I let him inside as a close friend, a confidant. I opened up to him...I let him come close to me.

Numerous times I asked him how his Ashley search was going. No one was his response. Really? No one there. Nope was his answer...ALWAYS. So tonight he tells me about someone that he has corresponded back and forth with for awhile. And now he told me because it was over. Interesting. She never existed before?

So the idiot that I am....he asks me are you chatting with someone? And I tell him. I don't keep any secrets...I open the door to my soul. Yet, he lies. It's not the act of what he did (he certainly has every right to talk to woman and meet them) but I thought we were friends. I thought we shared....at least I was sharing. He was lying.

So once again I feel like a total idiot. Its not the situation, its more the fact that when someone deceives you on something so small and stupid....you then seem to question everything that they say. What other little 1/2 truths have you told. Did you not tell me because you figured you would wait to see if this turned out to be a consummated affair (and then let me know then)? Meanwhile, you are knowing my every chat with others.

I hate feeling like this. I hate the fact that I trusted him and believed how special our friendship was. I guess its not as special as I thought. I thought we connected as friends....I loved our conversations, I loved his honesty and openness....he had qualities that I didn't see in others. I really thought he was different.

Live and learn isn't that what they say!!

Well Mr. Springer invited me over for breakfast tomorrow morning. Ummm...I'm the breakfast actually. At least he doesn't pretend....the cards are out on the table with him. I'm horny, your horny lets be horny together. He's not getting into my soul and he;s not getting into my head...just my pussy if I let him. That's it. PURE LUSTFUL SEX!!

Hmmm...I was going to say no. But a morning of lust sounds like it has potential right now. Anyone for some 69 for breakfast??

The Psychic Knew About My Secret Lovers!!!

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My New Sexy Toy and The Psychic

So.....I told you I bought a new bullet. Aahh!! I love my sex toys. The hubby still has not returned mine (after numerous requests--its definitely a control thing). so I went out and bought a new bullet.

This one is hidden like a compact. Okay, it looks more like a large perfume bottle..all marbelized and way too big for a normal compact. But I keep with my perfume bottles and so far it has not been discovered. However, the hubby did notice that batteries were missing (interesting the man watches my batter intake).

So, I have to tell you. I am happy that he stole the bullet. Yup! the good and plenty bullet that I had is child's play compared to the power of this one and the size is even larger. I am not crazy about the marble look (kind of made me think I was having sex with a zebra at one point--a fleeting thought and pretty gross).

So I turned the baby on and YUM!!! The buzz was perfect. My clit reacted immediately...I think I had an orgasm within seconds. Now that was out of the way, it was time to really start playing. This baby does magic on my clit...giving it a little earthquake action. Playing down, slowly inserting it my pussy.....my walls just wrapped around the vibrator...nice...snug as a glove. Faster and faster in and out.....I could feel my body begin to twitch....I relax my whole body to enhance the inevitable orgasm...as it starts to come, I can feel my whole body twitching. My walls were pulsating in and out....oh man...this was nice.

They say three is a charm!! Do I dare? Do I see its feel in my ass? Well we all know I have been having this anal sex fetish lately. Gotta tell ya, my butt is tight. After a little playing around and a few attempts....my buddy was in. And, it was worth the wait. Is is because it something new to me? Is it because it is so tight? Or can it be because the vibrations are able to hit areas that the vibrator can't when its inside my pussy? Not sure what the science or reasoning is behind it really--- I had the most amazing orgasm. Guess it was like an earthquake because I could feel this most amazing euphoria come over me as my body was pulsating. WOW!!

Mr. Springer was telling me that most women can squirt but they have never been brought to such levels. Is this true? I can't imagine the sensations and overwhelming enjoyment that would bring. Sigh...I have never been there. Of course it could be like my theory on certain foods... never had it, you can't crave it. So maybe its best that I have never had that happen because that sounds like its something I would want over and over and over again!!!

Tonight....tonight is the night I go to the Psychic. Aah!! I am petrified. I know, I know not everyone believes in it. Part of me says if the psychic was that good why are they always living in small rundown places. If you could see the future or predict it or talk to the dead--come on wouldn't you take a peak at the Stock Market or see what inventions are going to be big and go for it?

I have this vision of me stepping into the room tonight and her being overwhelmed by my aura (and not in a good way!) "So, you are a cheater!!! And I certainly don't want to be lectured by my dead family member....

Okay, have a great weekend and I will let you know how it goes. Had to cancel on Mr. Prize...that did not make me happy. I had no choice (sigh).

Living A Double Life

Sometimes I wonder how I can compartmentalize my life so much and with such ease. I am surprised to find that I am more worried about someone who knows me in work, my extra organizational work that I do or a friend-- finding out about my Secret Lovers Lane Life.

Today was a day of very much that REAL LIFE. Not even the kids...... I gave two presentations through business today, I then gave a motivational speech and I am very well respected in this organization that I work in. I laugh--they have an image of me as a Super Mom and a woman of power. Hee. hee. Now I have earned my respect--but I now feel like an imposter. I find myself thinking--I am not who you think I am. It's very, very strange.

In this Respected World--it is a constant fight for other people. I am constantly trying to make the world a better place. TODAY I learned that I will once again be taking on a BIG fight placing me in the limelight once again.

At the same time, I was asked to add my podcast to a very exciting Sex Podcast Network that reaches over 60,000 listeners. This can be an opportunity for me to grow my Rendezvous Radio website and even get sponsors for my podcast. I am very excited about this!!!

Then reality comes into play---is it so smart to be so vocal in both worlds at the same time? the fear I have is that both worlds will collide and I will be fucked! A lot to ponder tonight.

Funny how I find this Secret Lovers Lane World to be okay. That it isn't so wrong but when I look at my respected world can you say SCANDAL!! lol

Anyway, today was just okay...I was feeling very insecure and I don't know why. Everything is good with me and Mr. Springer. We talked for awhile today. Mr. Prize is always a prize although I was getting on his nerves today (hee.hee)

Mr. Smiley--I don't get him. Spoke to him, he apologized for not calling because there was a serious issue in his family--and he was going to call me back (still waiting). And my dear, dear Tadpole....it gets me crazy that we talk (I love talking to him) but he will not call me. He says he is going to call me back and he never does. I tell him all the time--I won't call you, just tell me...and he says he likes hearing from me.

So that's it...nothing too exciting tonight. Well actually I do have a juicy session with Mr. Prize to report and a purchase I made (hmmm..can you say bullet!) But I am so damn tired....sex is the farthest thing from my mind right now. Yeah, I am not horny....wow...report this day down on the calendar. Cheri was worn out by her crazy day and lost all horniness.....I think my bed is calling me....Sweet Dreams!

Wanna Play With Me?!

Monday. Monday. Oh yes. I hate boring Mondays. Woke up and starting chatting with Mr. Springer. This guy is sooo fun and sooo nuts. He's got a lot going on and well I admire the way he took action and ran with it. I wouldn't have had that strength--his wife was an alcoholic and he managed to get custody of the kids. It was ugly, very ugly but he did everything he could to protect them and keep them protected from her craziness. Now he has three kids, works...its pretty amazing how he does it.

Anyway, he made fun of my pink shirt--saying it looked like window curtains. Yeah, I might show you more.....so you could make fun of my tits or my body. I told him I didn't think we should meet. MY track record has been where I meet a guy, we like each other--he calls and calls to meet again and POOF!! he's gone. Never figure out what happens. I am enjoying his conversations too much to have us fall into that pattern. Okay, he says.

WHAT?!?! OKAY?!?!? Meet me at Starbucks and lets get this over with. Laughing hysterically we meet in Starbucks....we started chatting but he was a little nervous...he had just seen someone he knew so we went to a park. Can you imagine me at a park? Oh yes..I regress. Making him push me on the swings, going down the slide and even the pole. We had a really great time just chatting and playing in the park for 2 hours.

It was time to go so we walked to our cars. He didn't waste a second...gave me a peck on the cheek and off he went. "I'll call ya later." There was no awkwardness, no anticipation...POOF he was in his car. Okay, he didn't like me more than a friend. I was surprised I guess because we just spent so much time together and we were having a good time. I guess we will just be friends..that's fine but I thought I felt some chemistry....oh well. I like him a lot and enjoy him. He calls me DUDE..how funny is that.

MY phone rings. We're lost getting out of the neighborhood, we are hysterical laughing and talk the whole way home. "You know you are the first guy to never even try to kiss me? That's cool, I'm giggling".

"Well I thought you would have given me the brush test (you know how I innocently rub up against a guy to see if he likes me by measuring the bulge in his pants)." I didn't do it. Well usually I get closer, I didn't this time. We were too busy yakking and laughing. "Hmm...I can't not do that test". I was hysterical laughing. "Where are you?" We were both in our driveways (about 10 miles away). "Go Back". I said. "What?" "Meet me. You drive and I drive and when we meet 1/2 way, I will do the brush test". Now most guys would have squirmed their way out of this one. Not him. It was like a game of Truth or Dare and he was taken the dare (and the truth--we both wanted each other). "Okay, start driving". He was serious. I was teasing but I wasn't going to be the one to back out. I started to drive.

1/2 way was a shopping center. I ran in to a place to pee and when I came out there he was. "Get in". Half laughing and blushing....I got in. We drove to the back the shopping center and like two little kids..he literally pulled me to him and we started to suck face. Man, can this guy kiss. Holy shit, his tongue was doing things that were wild. Of course I had to do the brush test.....mmmmm....he liked me!

His cock was hard as a rock, bulging from his pants. "You would have gotten that before if you tried". Man, I forgot how hot a makeout session could be. This man was an outrageous kisser. I could feel myself getting totally wet. OH boy...the thoughts going through my head. I wanted to straddle this guy and fuck him. I was so damn horny now. I needed him inside of me. visions of climbing onto him in the drivers seat were overcoming my head. Except, there were people all around us. Funny how you seem to not notice that when you are all hot and horny.

His tongue was in my mouth, in my ear, going down my neck..it was everywhere it seemed. This guy has to be amazing in bed. He kisses with such passion. "You are a fucking amazing kisser". Wow! Exactly what I was thinking about him.

Now the visual was a supermarket and apartment buildings..not really romantic. Well, all of a sudden this florist truck pulls up with the side of the truck with a mural of a bouquet of flowers. When I opened my eyes, beautiful flowers were staring me in the face. "Oh dude, how romantic of you to order a truck like that". Now we were dying...a little romance for a sleazy meeting.

His cock was so hard and the pre-cum was flowing.....yes, he now had a wet spot on his pants. We both were thinking the same thing...we wanted to fuck and fuck now! Our playdate of the park and our game of DARE has now moved to adult games. I was definitely getting very hot and bothered. Each of us looking at each other with the same expression--we had to stop or there was going to be no stopping in a few minutes and we would be arrested.

He drove me back to my car. "You are dangerous". Oh no....those words. There they are again. We all know where that gets me usually...a man who thinks too much. I kissed him good by and smiled. And jumped in my car. So now we will see....who knows...but it was fun! Damn today was fun!! I felt like a teenager playing hooky from school and meeting my boyfriend for a hot makeout session. Damn....I love to play!

How could he see me like this?!?!?

Well today if Mr. Kodak is STILL interested well then I should give this guy another chance!

I have been up since 5AM....and last night I had taken a bath..so I woke up with my hair disgusting. About to jump into the shower, my girlfriends came over and dragged me out to go for a long walk. Two hour power walking. No makeup, gross hair up in a ponytail....running pants and a pull over hooded sweatshirt. We are talking A DOG!! lol And after the walk a sweaty dog.

I had so many errands to do today so I ran out quickly to two different stores. Literally looking around to be sure that I knew no one. One errand done...no one I knew in sight. Next errand, my eyebrows waxed (she put some funky cream all over my face too). So I was a shiny gross,sweaty dog now!

Last quick stop,drugstore. Aahh!! Mission complete and no one saw me. Whew. As I am about to back up out of the spot, I look to the right and there is Mr. Kodak. His family lives in the area and he shops at this store near my area. Before, I had gotten out of the car, I said...wow, I wonder if he is coming out this weekend. Well, well my question was answered.

I swear I look better when I have the flu. I looked over to him and just started smiling. "Hey", I started to blush (hopefully is added a little color to my no makeup face). I cannot believe we are running into each other (he saw my car and had dropped his wife off in front of the store). We sat and spoke for ten minutes and I couldn't help but say--I cannot believe we are running into each other--I was avoiding the world.

"You actually look very cute. I like the casual look and I didn't even shave for you". Actually he looked cute with his casual, unshaved look. I liked it. "I am away for two days next week(which I knew already) but I really want to see you. Can we try and make that happen?" I smiled and just looked at him. I didn't want to make a promise that I didn't know how I felt. The bad kiss was disappearing--the guy in front of me was much more relaxed and well not so weaselly looking.

You bettter go before she starts to look for you. We will talk. Jokingly I shook his hand. "I would love to kiss you right now" he said. I giggled...definitely not a smart move. Oh no way!! I just looked at him and we both laughed. I know, I know...your hometown and my wife. Oh YEAH!!

So I pulled away and I debated waiting to see what his wife looked like but I decided one wife for the week was more than I could handle. I drove away and swore I would never come out of my house looking like this again. I can say that in 15 years of living here--this was the worst I'd ever been seen in public.

So I don't know. I truly don't know. Last night after a long soak in the tub (and a really intense cry)..I decided that I needed to have a little break. I needed to re-vamp, re-analyze and re-fuel. I actually shut off my Ashley profile. yup! It will do me good to get my head on a little straighter.

Hubby was acting really, really bizarre. We're either going to have to have sex or I don't know where this is going to take us. There was an awkwardness last night. He purposely came up early when I did. The night before, he grabbed my tit in the middle of the night-waking me up. Is he molesting me while I am sleeping? "Why are you being so mean to me?" Hmmm...does he want my list from this week or from the past two years? He looked like he had tears in his eyes...it was very upsetting to me. Not fair... this week alone he underminded me with the kids (sneaking out of the house with my son after I said he was punished), he bounced six checks forging my name without me even knowing and vebally abusing my son over something stupid.. so should I feel bad that he seemed upset?

I feel like I don't want this thing to come to a head just yet. He is starting work this week so maybe we can work on some kind of an amicable peace treaty. But I don't know if I can ever gain respect for this man again. Our anniversary is coming up...can't think about it.

Actually tonight--I am changing the color of my hair . Oh I will still be blonde just a little darker...I was starting to turn almost a blonde white!! Quite the whorish look! Now I am trying to get back the blonde I once was--I hope I like it!! I was getting used to that bleached blonde look...looked quite fitting as I suck a cock!!

My Ex Lover's Wife - Mrs. Government

Confession time. I did something you are not suppose to do when you are had an affair--drive by the guys house. Sounds stupid but I just wanted to know that this was his real address. Why? I don't know. I guess the fact that he had the advantage of knowing everything about me made me nuts. So I did the one thing that you should never do---embarrassingly I became a stalker.

Well I really didn't stalk. I drove by just to see if his car was there--to confirm that was his house. Well I got my confirmation--his car was in the driveway. But I certainly got more than I had wanted to see. As I drove past his block (not right in front of his house--I wasn't going to go down). But in front of his house was his wife and one of his children.

This was more than I had bargained for and really set me off balance there. Stalking a car was one thing--seeing his wife was totally something else. I realized what I was doing and drove quickly away. This is not what I had wanted. Definitely not. Funny, a friend of mine who is having an affair has driven passed her lovers house 70,000 times (me yelling at her everytime) and she never even got a glimpse of his wife.

I didn't want to see her. But there she was, carrying her Neiman Marcus shopping bag. Funny, I knew her type well. The suburban upper income housewife....designer sunglasses, designer bag......the typical woman in this area. Now I only got a glance, but she had that puss on her face that he explained (okay I had to laugh...that was funny, he explained it so well).

And not to my surprise....we are opposites in looks. She was dark in complexion with dark black hair and the skinniest thing (100 lbs wet). It is one thing to see a car for confirmation...its another thing to see his wife. It really put things into perspective. AND I felt horrible. Not sure if it was the fact that I felt like I invaded..or was it the denial that there is a whole other family being effected by this. It's one thing to fuck a married man, hear about her and she remains a faceless image. It felt like a ton of bricks fell on me to actually see her.

I think for the first time, I felt guilty. We've always met and ESCAPED! Just the two of us leaving the real world behind. Not really knowing the others life except for what we told. Kind of as if the real world was the fake world. And now that fake world was so right there.

So yes, I confess and feel like shit about it. I will never ever drive by a lovers house again, if there is ever another lover. But there is one more confession--in my mind I couldn't help but think--here is a woman who doesn't realize that she lies next to a man that another woman lusted for. The brick wall is so high in their bed (his words not mine) just like the one in mine. Yet, I can't help but envy that she has the opportunity to be next to him, in his arms whenever she wants.

Funny--I had always wanted him to get off of Ashley. I can't get emotionally close to you. I can't allow us to get close. And the last time we were together--we reached a new level and once again he ran. I know I reached him that day emotionally because the sex was different. I can't explain it--we fell into synch like we never had before--it was intense--it was more than just sex that time --and it scared the shit out of him (he admitted). So--I lost him. And my good by letter to him--wishing him well, wishing him that he found someone that could give him just the sex without the emotion and wishing him total happiness..I thought was a sweet good by. Oh I got what I wanted with that good by.. He's now off of Ashley since he read my letter.

So I have confessed...not proud at all of my actions but hey, this blog is my diary. I had to include it....and hopefully is will be a good reminder to me if I ever think to do something as stupid as I did. No more drive bys for me.....no more allowing a man to get close. SEX and pure sex is it.

Meeting MR. Kodak- The Dead Kiss

Oops! Pressed the publish button and didn't finish...so I will finish now!

The kiss was dead. Actually I never realized (and guessed I forgot) how bad of a kisser some guys can be. Now I know there are bad kissing girls too. But nothing sucks more than a bad kisser.

I have been told I am a great kisser. I think it comes from a passion inside. I love to alternate swirling of the tongue with gentle sucks and hard sucks of the tongue. Lots of action, little kisses and little nibbles on the lip. To me a great kiss, just makes my whole body tingle and want someone. Mmmmmm.....

Like my kiss with Mr. Smiley. It was hot. It was intense. It was GOOOOOOOD!!! lol

Gettting back.....Mr. Kodak's tongue just sat in my mouth. He opened to an O and it kind of stayed that shape with a tongue sitting in my mouth. I almost laughed because when I was with Mr. Smiley, he was telling me about a girl who kissed like that. We were joking around trying to do it and it was weird. So here I am a few days later.....and I am experiencing that dead tongue thing.

Sadly, he sent me a note how great our meeting was and how he felt the chemistry. Sigh....I felt no chemistry. I think he's a nice guy but not for me. I am terrible at telling someone that. I am better at letting it die slowly. Staying friends.

Today--I was wild. I don't know what it was. Mr. Springer and I have been emailing all day--he's a nutjob but I am too so we make each other laugh.

I did something I am not proud of .....but I can't write it now. Yes, it involved Mr, Government. I gotta get him out of my system. I am actually too embarrassed to even write it tonight. I actually deserved what I got;.......sigh..details tomorrow

Meeting Mr. Kodak

Well I met Mr. Kodak today. Not the meeting I had really hoped. Truth is, he was okay in looks. A little less than I had hoped but that was okay. If we clicked....I would have been really happy and looks would have meant nothing. BUT...we didnt click.

There was a feminine way about him. Like a yenta type....a gossiping woman feel to him. So not my type of personality. I am so the manly man type or the intellectually stimulating, laid back type. Not his type at all. Felt like he would be one of the girls. Hmmm...actually he reminded me a little about Mr. Advocacy (oh dear..am I going in a complete circle--a repeat of last year).

Well he arrived and his body was amazing (I definitely will give him that) but his face was older. First guy to ever send younger pix to me. Men are pretty honest, they usually send a recent pix. So we went to the local Panera Bread and had a cup of coffee. I don't know---it wasn't clicking for me. Am I numb to this whole affair thing? I don't think so. I think I have been overly stimulated with laughter this past week by Mr. Smiley and Mr. Springer and Tadpole. All so funny that I literally felt my insides hurting from laughing so hard.

Anyway, we finished our coffee and I couldn't sit there anymore. However, the thought of walking the mall with him seemed useless. That would be a lot of talking and well, I couldn't think of anything more to say. Plus, I didn't want to get caught with this guy. A mall walk was not too smart. The thought of sitting in the car talking for 45 minutes would only lead to me feeling obligated to give him something.....no..had to think.

Aah!! the local sex/head shop down the block. This place is the size of a Toys R Us. Been around since the beginning of time. Legend had it that Adam bought Eve her first vibrator there (lololol) Actually I had thought it was just a head shop. Mr. Podiatrist informed me of the downstairs AND the secret room.

So what the hell. It'be better than being stuck with him in a car or walking the mall. We go over there....and I take him to the secret room which I visited with my girlfriend the week before (got myself a new toy--!!!!). The first time, the guy proofed us (if you look under 35 you get proofed--yeah!!!!) Today, he smiled and said hey, how are you? (oh boy, recognized at the sex shop--yeah, my girlfriend and I certainly made an impression last time. Guess he is going to remember me.)

So I walk in and we walk around. Mr. Kodak is getting very excited...(you know I had to do the brush test...brush up against himto see if he was hard!) And boy was he ever. In one row, he grabbed me and kissed me. I gave him a peek and squirmed out of it convincing him to buy a magic ring for himself...lol

Okay, 6 minutes before he had to go back. The dreaded good by. Oh man. Well I am non confrontational so I let him kiss me. Well,

He Wants To Hear About Sex With Other Guys?!

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Rendezvous Radio Podcast -My Secret Lover Affairs

I was sitting around on Saturday night and I said..I want to podcast. I don't care about the sound quality..I don't care that I haven't researched for days different sexual educational material. I had to podcast.

It felt so strange at first. It's been six months since I sat and my computer and talked. Well as you can imagine from my writing--once I get going, I can't stop. So I just babbled and babbled on my sexual experiences for the last 6 months and then did an educational piece on erotic massages. Which after I listened back to it as I was editing it together---its more like a new technique for masturbation.

One fan wrote me a note asking me to please!!! podcast. He needed my voice to masturbate too. How funny is that? Now my voice. If you never listened to my podcast...my voice is not your generic voice. I actually almost didn't podcast because I have a very heavy accent (Northeastern-) You either love my voice or you hate it.

Anyway, go listen! Two great songs are on there...my sexual experiences this past 6 months along with my love for being eaten out. If you have nothing to do...I guess then I am worth the listen.

When I went to load up the podcast...it blew my mind. I have had over 20,000 downloads of my podcasts. It had been after 1AM and it showed that 25 people had just listened to me. What a weird thing to think that while I am sleeping--people are listening to the podcast.

So how do you get there? I fucking am not sure!! lol Okay, I have to get the information. But I know there are two ways to get to me. One is if you have iTunes....I am under Podcasts, Health, Sexuality... Ranked #12 this week!! hee.hee.

That's my link on Itunes
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=104549127

then you can load the feed down from feedburner...
www.feeds.feedburner.com/RendezvousRadioPodcast

Well I have just met another man online as I was posting this...lol He is a bizarre one. He is getting divorced, has a girlfriend and is looking to cheat on her. Hmmm...can you say RUN CHERI!!! I told him he was funny but way too complicated for me. Which in a man's language means---lets pursue her even more!! I don't get men. The ones I push away want me more. The ones I like push me away.

A Different Kind of Love Letter--

Romance! I love romance and lust! I love when two bodies entwine and become one. Today I was in such a mood for this. To entwine with a body, to join as one. Wet all day, the desire for someone to touch me, eat me, devour me......and then I got some Mail!! Talk about a clash of my brain. I guess its a love letter?!?! Actually I kind of was thinking about Mr. Prize having a feast with me....I miss a tongue inside of me, sucking on me.....he did lose me with my crimson and then my pee but well this is the love letter I got today--enjoy!

Hi!
I seek a fun intelligent sexually liberated Dominate woman to have as my special Mistress to fully serve and explore all that h passion lust perversion and Ds sex offers.

I find sexually liberated dominate woman into watersports, ass rimming, strapon oral worship and menstrual service to be extremely exotic sexy and beautiful so that is wonderful. It is in my nature to appreciate,care, serve and obey the lady in my life by making her happy and keeping her safe. I am very clean hygienic and healthy no D&D of any kind and want to keep it that way.

Ok I need to explain my desire and preference for giving oral sex it is not a fetish because it is not to the exclusion of all else. It is my preference and deep desire. I get my most fulfilling and enjoyment by orally pleasing and worship my lady.
It is the only sexual act that fulfills all the senses.

Sight: There is nothing that looks like a vagina Pussy on any woman the flesh has a different color I am use on you it will be more pink and absolutely beautiful. You will look like an orchard flower with it pedals opening and begging me, mesmerizing me, drawing me to look and admire and worship.

Smell: There is nothing like the scent of a woman in sexual heat as she begins to get wet she take on a scent that is intoxicating me and inflames me to a full and ridged erection.

Feel: The skin and flesh of the Pussy is unlike all the skin on the body. The only area that even comes close is the lips. The skin is extra soft and very very moist and feels wonderful to touch.

Taste: There is no adequate way to describe how wonderful a woman’s Pussy Tastes. She has different tastes for each stage of her excitement and each is wonderful and better then the stage before. When you first start getting wet and I sample my first taste it will be wonderful, as you get more excite and really get wet it will take on an even richer taste. When you cum explode into my mouth it will have a special taste that will let me know I have reach you and satisfied you. Some women even squirt a mixture of wonderful fluid, pre lubricating moisture, full sexual flow, and orgasm secretion and sometime with a big explosive orgasm an amount of golden bladder nectar flows. All marvelous to savor and enjoy I would lovingly strive and promote all those taste to enjoy from you. I'll eat you during your PERIOD,lapping and savoring your crimsom FLOW,licking sucking your clit until you CUM EXPLODE into my mouth then I will savor and DRINK your GOLDEN PEE.

Sound: The sounds a woman makes as she is being pleased and brought to Orgasm and the when she explodes Is extraordinary. I hope you are vocal and will tell me exactly how to lick and worship your Pussy. You will tell me how and if to use my fingers a didlo or vibrator to make you explode into my mouth.

I hope you have a better understanding of my desire to orally please you. I will surrender and obey and serve to the best of my ability I promise. I hope you are interested.

Mr. Prize a deep conversation

Mr. Prize and I had a really long talk last night. I've been feeling him distant, I've been feeling him pre-occupied which the Drama Pita Queen (ME) was interpreting as--he has lost some interest. Our hot IMs had cooled, our late night chats lessened.....he was distant.

The realization that we were not going to be able to see each other every two weeks became apparents as well. And it wasn't because of me. I made an attempt each week to go see him but something with his work came up. His work is effected by the world. An even harder thing to control than Mr. Government's territory. SO....while I am the biggest control freak around--this is a little bit out of my league "Excuse me World...can we have total peace, no world disasters, no scandals..nothing for a 24 hour period so I can get adequately laid?" We can call it International Cheri Day--where everyone just fucks wildly and everything is perfect!!

Okay, back to our conversation. I had thought he stopped by my blog (but it wasn't him--wrong IP address). So I wanted to tell him what was going on even though I didn't have to, I wanted to. Now, Mr. Prize is a lot more sophisticated in this affair thing. He has seen his lover get fucked by many men (and loved it), he has been with other woman while his lover watched, he has had a multiple amount of lovers. I am amateur world for him. Insecurity, jealousy, possessiveness (my true downfalls) do not exist in his world.

So basically our conversation was deep, honest and loving. He loves me and I love him (the people we are). The affair and the sex is a second level....Basically we are two best friends who intellectually stimulate each other and the sex is apart of it but it is entwined in. It's so hard to explain.

I feel like I am a hobby for him. He wants to teach me. He wants me to experience new things--he wants me to see the darker side of sin. I think he truly loves my virgin side and is hoping to open up that world of the darker side to me (threesomes, foursomes, S&M, anal). I can feel him helping me grow---even stabilizing me at times. My childish insecure freakouts do not scare him (other men--like Mr. Government--freak and run), he manages to acknowledge them and pacify them. And quite frankly, that's helping me grow as a person.

My mistress is my job, love. If you were closer, there would have been many more opportunities. I have accepted that now. I thought I could have a full time lover but its not going to be something that looks like it will happen for a long time. Problem is for him. His hours are not conducive to a married womans. And a single woman--well she will want more than what he will give. So I can see how he is stuck.

He makes me feel loved. His mannerisms, his words (honey, babe, love). Him closing each conversation with Love you honey. IT sounds good. Now, its a different love from husband and wife--its a soul love and we both understand that so it is nice. It's nice to hear those words and actually feel a connection when they are said (even if its not in the traditional meaning).

My happiness come first is what he says. "If you cannot accept being with two different men at the same time, then I want you to go with the other guy. It won't change our friendship but I can't satisfy you physically from our distance." He is right. Realistically, I cannot travel to another state so much on an hours notice.

He wants to know it all. He asked me questions about Mr. Smiley and wants me to pursue Mr. Kodak. He says he likes to hear about me and other men. Doesn't bother him and he likes the excitement in my voice. He likes to hear my happiness--he gets turned on by the details. He enjoyed hearing that Mr. Smiley had a hard on and we both giggled at his remark that he was running for President of Ashley Madison (his joking explanation for all his Ashley smileys).

So mentally, I am in a great state with Mr. Prize although he will not be my exclusive prize or me his. Its a good relationship for me...a unique relationship that is healthy. Actually, I am amazed how life can sometimes fit together so well. Curious George and I had a similiar relationship---it was the foundation, the starter. He had opened up the world to me of non possessive, friend, multiple partners in a way. And now its as if the torch was passed to Mr. Prize for the next lesson.

3 Different Cocks?? A Perfect Day!!!

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As I Toss And Turn....Little Orgasms In My Head

Well today was an action packed day! Most importantly, Woo Hoo!! I aced my presentation.

Okay, I got myself in trouble AGAIN!! Yup! I have to learn this one pursue at a time thing. As you know, Mr. Prize wants me to look, so I am looking. Upset (and yes, now that I look back--quite the drama queen and insecure) I asked for guys pix on Ashley Madison. Yesterday, I thought the Dark Guy was gone after that weird email and the other Mr. Smiley (with all the smileys didn't like my answer). Mr. Dark Guy turns out it was his insecurity that he didn't send a pix and Mr. Smiley had gone home for the day (and the new guy who I haven't found a name for has been pursuing me all day). Hmmmm...now what?!?!

My girlfriend stopped by...she was helping me with the presentation when the IM goes off, my cell phone starts to ring and I got an email. 3 different guys. "Did you fucking send out a signal or something!?!?" I don't believe it. I had actually sent them all my pix earlier SOOO I guess I passed each guys seal of approval. But I hate this. I'm not a juggler. In a moment of rash insecurity, I sent them all a pix. Dumb Cheri. You are too nice to turn them away and too busy to pursue all three. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Even though Mr. Prize says everything is all right. He seems to becoming a little distant. It sucks that he doesn't live closer and our schedules are so busy. I truly enjoy him!!

Okay, now I started doing something new to mentally stimulate me---its fun. I have been going back and reading what I did a year ago on this date!! Wow--what a blast!! I couldn't help but laugh hysterically remembering Booty Caller, Boy Toy, Nature Man...lol. And then I glanced ahead. It was one year ago that I met Mr. Government. My heart sank because I can remember like it was yesterday when I reached up and kissed him to break the ice as we were leaving the first time. His reaction was so cute, I reached back up and kissed him again, he blushed and I did it again. Like little kids.....like those stupid fucking Hallmark cards. Sigh. I can remember how excited I was. That nervous fluttering, the nervous giggle...I miss him. It's over but I miss him tonight.

So, I had to pull back from the Cheri archives...(how funny...The Best Of Cheri)...a poem that I wrote last year. I guess somethings never change....pathetically still looking for that Mr. Married Prince Charming that can fulfill all. Enjoy my sappy poem!! It's one of my favorites!

As I Toss & Turn... By Cheri Moore

The weight of the world lies on my head,
At night, I just think and toss in my bed.
The problems, the sadness, this is not how it is suppose to be,
A void so deep, the bottom is impossible to see.

I yearn for the passion, that spark I once knew.
that feeling of completeness that intensity known by few,
A touch causes goosebumps, a smile makes you melt.
the anticipation of a kiss and the desire that is felt.

I'm no longer a school girl who could stop at one kiss.
Such wild desire is too hard to control and an opportunity not to miss.
So I stare at the ceiling and dream of the day.
That married Prince Charming will come my way.
Causing my body to pulsate, the quivers of joys,
We'll experiment with positions, fetishes and sex toys!
We'll know every inch of each others body, every spot that makes us high,
We'll take each other to orgasmic heights that are beyond the heavens and the sky,
We'll drop exhaustedly on the bed, fulfilled completely with no words that can say,
What an amazing experience this was and the most unbelievable day,
We will kiss each other good by, returning to our lives and our reality.
Not discussing or thinking about the issue of morality.
Because what we just shared cannot be a sin.
It was so beautiful, so intense, it's the way it should always have been.

So I toss and I turn with the world on my head.
But now the fantasy relaxes me as I lie in my bed.
So the world becomes peaceful as I hold my pillow tight.
And I dream of such ecstasy until the morning light!

Sweet Wet Dreams!!

A Strange Day Of Peculiar Men

I am procrastinating tonight. I have a huge project tomorrow and I cannot even find the energy or desire to do it. I am in a funk. Was going to drive to Mr. Prize tonight BUT he was so busy..I wasn't able to catch him in time to see if he was free. So I didn't do it. Sigh. I need some release. Definitely need some release.

Tonight, I decided to look back at my blog. What was happening with me a year ago. WOW, things were so different yet so much the same. I was so into Soulmate Chris and now I can barily remember our connection. I was getting over Computer Man (my first kiss, my first attraction, my first handjob outside of my marriage!) Okay, I can't help but giggle. I never expected there would have been so many cocks since! I mean I was looking for one guy for an affair and I don't want to think about the number of cocks I have held in my hand (or had in my mouth). Not what I had anticipated...such a naive girl I was!!

It kind of bothers me that I just haven't found one person to have a healthy affair with. It seemed so simple. I like you, you like me--we have an affair that lasts for a bit. We aren't expecting a lot from each other so we just enjoy each other. Hmmmm...guess life is not that simple.

Met a guy online today (are you surprised?!) and actually found two other egotistical men.

One guy was kind of dark. Very intense. Can you feel a coldness and intenseness from an email? I kind of felt it with him. He trusted no one. We were going back and forth for a few days and finally i said do you have a pix. Send me yours. And what about yours? "I can tell that we would really be into each other if we met. We would get to know each other and we would be extremely hot together. But we both can't get passed this pix thing and trust each other so this can only mean one of two things that you won't send a pix. I don't think it will work then." Woooowww!! He was so deep. Anyway, I wrote back--one of two things? Hey guy, you gotta trust a little in this. So what could those one of two things be. That I am a dog I figured was one (woof-I wrote) what is the other? Weird dude.....

Second guy.....chit and chatted back and forth. He said can we talk. I said "I can't talk now, send me your number and I will call you". Didn't hear from him...guess he didn't like that Ididn't want to give him my number and I was not jumping to talk to him. Way too funny. This guy has about 6 smiley faces. And you know the statistics.....for every person who bothers to comment there are usually 10 that didn't take the time. What a strange group of dudes!!

And finally--the newest one. Not sure. He seems normal. (LOL) I'll report on him tomorrow. We exchanged emails, pix and even phone numbers. wow!! Actually, he is open and doesn't seem to have any major hangups with talking and sharing himself. We'll see. Strange thing is that he doesn't have children. Him and his wife were unable to (sad story there about twins). Anyway, I guess I was surprised that he was still in his marriage. He stays for the guilt of no children. Interesting. I guess we all have our shit huh?

Connecting the Sexual Dots and IM can Suck

Did you ever play connect the dots when you were a kid? The dots were all numbered and if you did it right....the end result was a really cool pix. so what happens if there were not numbers or direction on how to connect the dots correctly? Your pix would look fucked up!! OR an abstract piece of art.

Using IM to communicate is like playing connect the dots without the numbers sometimes. Emotions do not come across. Teasing may not come over the right way. It blows things out of proportion--an abstract piece of art!

Mr. Prize and I spoke tonight. He felt there was nothing wrong. He was surprised to hear that I had been upset. And, after talking with him, I wonder if I over reacted a tad (okay...I was the Drama Queen last night! Everything was over amplified..... can I blame it on my period??) He was teasing me about the Club he said. He knows how I feel about it. That didn't come across in the IM though.

"We are friends. Friends who like to please each other. I went on Ashley last night and was bored and searched. You were on there too!" Can't argue one word of that. Reality is...we both should be looking, it doesn't lessen what we have. Reality is....I need to get over this damn insecurity I have with not being enough for someone. Feeling like I am a second fiddle. Sloppy seconds!

I see it in my girlfriend actually. She is beautiful, a tiny, tiny thing. Blonde and turns every head when she walks by. In her eyes, she is an ugly duckling. She sees herself as fat (103 lbs.) and she doesn't see herself worthy of a man caring for her. I think she is insane. I tell her that all the time. I cannot believe that she feels like she does.....its crazy. Today she came over and we were talking. "your fucking insane you know" she says to me. "you are beautiful. you are an amazing person, you are a successful, smart businesswoman.....all the guys turn and look at you. You are fucking crazy".

So, that's what I think about her. Except she has that perfect body you would die for. But that's how she sees me. How funny. Truly how pathetic that we don't see what the other person sees.

So yes, I felt like a schmuck tonight because he was right. We are fine. I am pushing him farther away with my insecurities and I am not going to mention Ashley again to him. Never..that's it. I like our friendship. I like talking with him and I like fucking him. The End!! Let the chips fall as they may. I will look on Ashley as will he.

About Ashley, I did some damage last night. Yup! did a search and started pushing buttons to see people's pix. I requested a few. And this morning.....the mailbox was overwhelmed with men and their pix.

Started chatting with some guy who lived locally. He had a none trusting darker side to him. Doesn't want to give up his pix...so he is gone. I am not wasting my time corresponding with someone and not seeing who they are (new rule on checklist). tonight a guy sent me his pix. Scarily, his name is the same as Mr. government and the last name is the same with two additional letters. Hmmm...am I headed for my doubles again?? He was cute and seems nice. We will see.

A super flirty guy on Ashley with millions of smileys that I keep teasing him about. So where are all these girls that have given you the smileys?? And how many of them did you screw?? Okay, this one is a player...I know that and know how to handle it as well. Having fun flirting with him...not sure if its going to go anywhere at all.

so that's the Cheri Roundup For the day!

Oh!! One last thing. I want to thank Tadpole. I have so much on my plate and today, I was about to hit the wall (with my kids--a lot of crap right now and I don't know how to handle it). So I called him and just had diarrhea of the mouth. Going on and on about how horrible things were and what was going on. He listened and he as a way to make me smile and make life seem a little better. In his scarcastic tone "your a nut!"...... and I couldn't help but laugh. It was one of those perfect timing things AND he meant it with affection.
So kisses to the Tadpole!!

And thank you all who posted and sent me private emails......I needed to feel the love today, and you made me feel so much better.

Was the Sex club The Breaker?? Suck my left...

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