An unexpected 20 hour sex marathon!

Well you would think that I can cover a week in a few lines sometimes but this post is actually a preface to the upcoming two posts. Why? It was a wild 20 hours that truly seemed like an eternity followed by a day that was psychologically insane...

It is 1AM and my head is still spinning from the last few days. It all started Friday at 4PM and I cannot believe it is Tuesday morning already. It was as if it was one long endless days of out of control events. It began with an unexpected sex marathon where I actually broke my rule of sex with two men within 24 hours. A story that I am still trying to absorb. A new guy in the picture who I had been chatting with for about a week that turned into a bizarre rendezvous which I sooooo need your advice on. Before that, a rendezvous with Mr. Porsche which will certainly blow your mind. And then a Sunday to Monday that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy which was not sexual but mentally and physically draining. The closest I have come to a breakdown. My emotions and adrenaline are in overload and I cannot even compute what the hell went on here. Now you have to know it was pretty insane because I usually can role with the punches.

So....I can't wait to tell you about the 20 hour marathon!! I can't wait for you to evaluate the new guy. And as far as today...well, electricity was out for 24 hours, live wires surrounded my house, my cell phone dropped dead, my entire refrigerator contents needed to be dumped, my new car search turned into a mentally straining event, both my cars needed to go to the mechanic....I guess you can see how handling all this alone was overwhelming.

But I gotta say, that while I am still trying to manage to get this spiraling life out of control--I managed to not have a breakdown. Somehow, I did it all alone and while I am a frazzled mess...I am proud of myself. I was thrown one curve ball after another, I am still spiraling out of control but one more day and I will hopefully be back on track.

stay tuned....tomorrow now that my access is back, I hope to be able to give you the juicy updates....mmmmmm....sweet dreams!

Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks--spooky!!

Wow, life is so bizarre sometimes. Scanning through You Tube, I came across this song. It was listed as the top most listened to songs for today. It's not a new song, I forgot about this song, in fact I only heard this song with one special person.....BIZARRE...I haven't spoken to this person in a long time and poof...this lost song appears on the day that this person sent me a note back to an email I sent. Confused? Sorry...but lets just say this song makes me really smile and I remember just lying in this persons arms after fantastic sex and we were whistling and singing this song and the world was right. He's a FANTASTIC LAY! hahahhaha Without saying a name, you know who I am talking about.......You know what's even funnier--we both look like the two characters in this video...

Enters A Good Boy

Yes, I am trying really hard to find a nice man. A good man with a good heart. Today was a whirlwind of men. But don't get me wrong, they are not the right men. Old frogs who are hanging out in the pond and really should be disposed of.....actually friend frogs now. Some so old that I can't even remember my frog name for them! lol


So the Good boy Frog is really sweet. Any man who admits he was so excited to talk to me and he even told his friend about me. Gotta say he said the nicest thing. That my children are part of the great package and not baggage. He is a widow and he actually still keeps in touch with his wives children. He had only been married to her for a year. One of them had issues and he still is involved in his life. His first wife that he had his children with turned into a lesbian after 25 years of marriage. Then he re-marrys and she dies. Hmmm....I hope this isn't a karma thing he has going on. He's 10 years older than me but doesn't look it. He seems gentle and sweet. When I showed him to my neighbor she started cracking up. Why? The rest of the men on my page of favorites had their shirts off, six packs, sexy eyes and here is this handsome man in a tuxedo! Well I am going to give him a chance.

We spoke tonight for an hour. I was falling asleep. He's sweet, he's nice...he's too sweet, he's too nice. Oh I don't want to fall into that same hole I did with my ex. Coming off a really bad boy, I went for the opposite--a quiet laid back man. Truth is, I think I am a thrill junkie in some ways. Okay, I am going to give this guy a chance. I mean the man makes this product and I happened to be looking for this product and he already said he wants to install it for me no matter what happens between us.

Off to bed.....sweet dreams!

Vowing To Stay Away From Those Bad Boys!

Yes, we all know that my track record of bad boys just keeps piling up. I went out with my girlfriends this weekend and after a few drinks, we all decided I needed to make a vow--NO MORE BAD BOYS! No more dangerous players. And so I made that vow! I was going to look for a nice respectable man that I can spend quality time with. Someone who can make me smile and treat me like a princess.

I begin the morning with a quick look online at my dating site mail. And there it is....the sexiest smile. A smile that can melt ya with sparkling eyes. I read the note...Wow, you are beautiful, can we talk? UGH!!!

And so I responded, remembering my night with the girls....thank you Mr. Foxy but I have sworn off bad boys as of last night, you are one day late. Enjoy your day.

Immediately he writes back.... Oh come on! I wrote last night which means I made the deadline! (oh he's a cute one, very witty)

I realize that but I cannot get involved with a bad boy again and you are just oozing with danger. Thanks for the offer but bad boy leave me alone! haha

Well, now he is determined--it seems the farther you push a bad boy away, the more they want you. I should have told him that I fell in love with him and that he should re-locate.

Just one conversation sexy....just one conversation and I will leave you be. I re-read his profile..ok, he moved out of the area about a year ago. Safe, he's 1200 miles away now. So I began to IM him (yes, he popped up on my screen and I couldn't click him off).

The conversation was great, he was handsome and smart and suave. Oh was he dangerous but luckily he was far away. So I said thanks for the convo, maybe if you lived back in town it would be different but you are far away so thanks for the convo!

Far away?1? Baby, I moved back to the area 3 months ago, I just forgot to change my profile info. Now you have to meet me.....I want to see those plump lips in person....just for a drink, here's my number, please call. we have nothing to lose.

AAAAAAHHHHH!! He's here, those sexy eyes and perfect body are back in town. His six pack, that tattoo, those gorgeous piercing eyes is right in town. I took his number and filed it away. I will call you later....

Well I took another look at Mr. Foxy and he is so dangerous. His six pack is screaming PLAYA. His profile pix would have every girl weak in the knees. I didn't call. I am going to try and forget that sexy smile.

I go to my mail today....and there is a note. I am waiting for your call sexy. I admit it, I am dangerous but I promise, it will be worth our time together.

Yes, the bad boys find me. I changed my profile pix and well its a little sexy and it seems the bad boys are flocking even more. Damn I love those bad boys.....

France Joli - The Heart To Break The Heart (1980)

do you remember this song? Funny how some songs can travel with you throughout your life and ALWAYS seem to have meaning...An empty heart at whatever your age (9-99 years old)...seems to have that same deep emptiness and as if it was your first time feeling the emptiness.

Rihanna - Rude Boy

Thinking Hurts

This week has been like an emotional rollercoaster with my inner heart and mind battling each other. Emptiness sucks. And reality sucks sometimes. The reality is my choice in men has been worse than ever. Player after player keeps stopping at my door. And once again, it's time to wipe the slate clean. I need to empty all the men from my life...they are stragglers. I want someone more consistent. I don't want volumne I want quality...and I seem not to be able to find a quality guy.

Good news is that I found a regular babysitter that starts next week. Bad news I haven't found a man worth going out with but I intend on making plans for every day. I don't care what it is, I need to get out there and really start living a little. These Friday and Saturday shut ins just suck. Amazing how a man can just decide he doesn't want to see his kids. What happens if I decided I didn't want to do this for a week?

Well, I did something I have never done before. I went back to the beginning of my blog and I printed it out and plan on reading it. Five years of writing and I rarely have gone back to read. Oh once in awhile I would go back to a post to see the last thing I wrote. But I never sat down and read the whole blog from the beginning. In a weird way, I am nervous. My blog has been a dumping ground to my deepest and darkest thoughts. I've written things on my highest highs and lowest lows. My blog is my inner voice. It's things I never say outloud but think in my head. Such private moments, such intimate events and when I see that over 400,000 people have read them and there are over 1200 posts....wow i am in for a rude awakening I think.

So, I printed the year 2005. I had started the blog in September and I have 125 pages to read!!! Geez...this is going to be a long process. It's so strange seeing it print out of the printer. My secret life became so real and seemed to unfold as it printed out. Five full years of a total transformed person...good, bad or indifferent. As crazy as this sounds, I am afraid to read it. It's like Pandora's Box being opened. The wine is poured, the slow sappy music is on and I am going to go back in time now to the year 2005.

Dangerous New Guy

Okay, I need to get my head examined. Without a doubt, I have this horrible attraction for these dangerous and cold men. PLAYAS!!!!!! Why can't I like the normal ones and then the question is also why are these guys always drawn to me? I mean they find me on the sites. I don't always search them out....

Mr. New Dangerous Guy and I are not really talking. How funny, phone sex for almost two weeks straight and now we are cold turkey. Talking two hours almost every night and now I don't hear from him at all. He sees me online, not a word. Oh wait, he did send me a note and wrote...Please don't text me till after July 29th, I only have 500 texts and I am already at 501. Now I thought he was texting this from his blackberry so I said...no problem, speak to ya after July 29th, I'll give you the quarter for the text you went over". then he texted something back.... and I wrote "stop texting me, this is costing me a fortune, i am not answering, I already owe you 50 cents." And then he said, oh yeah, send it to me!

Well, well, well....he doesn't know me very well. I grabbed a card that had two drinks on it...I taped 3 quarters on the inside and told him here's your text money, bet ya didn't think i would send it AND you owe me two drink for the two I have just sent you!! Get married to a Russian Bride yet? Maybe we will meet one day! And I mailed the damn thing. okay, I just have forgotten him but I just wanted to send it and so I did.

Now here is even a funnier thing.....this morning I went online (he didn't see my card yet) and I saw he made a new friend. I clicked on her....I swear!!! A 19 year old Russian girl....OMG!!!!! How funny is that or actually how pathetic. In a way I wish I didn't send the card and I just deleted him from everything. But of course I didn't.

The Tiny Crocus

Babysitter cancelled today and I was suppose to go see Mr. Pultizer for the last time. As you can imagine, I am extremely upset. I was looking forward to hanging with him and talking with him. I have been feeling like a shut in lately and it is starting to get to me. I am finding that I just don't want to go out. Ironically, tonight I was looking forward to going out and poof...no sitter. I guess the good news is that I have been trudging along just sitting at my computer and working.

In a funk, I decided to check my Ashley Madison site and browse through my new emails. Nothing caught my attention except someone I had answered who had a fabulous profile that was so well written and romantic. He had written me, I answered and he just wrote again. He had mentioned in his profile something about flowers-marigolds and another flower I actually had to look up. I wrote him back that I loved his profile and we were very similiar except I loved the crocus. that was my favorite flower. And then he wrote me back. And, he even took the time to find a great poem about the crocus...needless to say this man caught my attention. Can't get my hopes up but it did make me smile!

Thank you for the lovely note, I had to google "crocus" flowers
to see them, I can imagine why they are your favorites in the
spring.
I wanted to share this poem with you..

Spring Flowers ~ Crocus by Mary Havran

Crocus flowers daring tiny warriors
Fighting their way up through
The winter ice
Crocus darling early Spring harbingers
Promising days will soon
Be turning nice

Tiny Crocus flowers grow in close groups
Strength in numbers seeking
Where winter snows still may lie
Encircled encampment of floral troupes
“We march onward to spring”
They raise this brave battle cry

Bold strength contained in Crocus so small
Should winter challenge again
They simply refuse to die
Delicate blossoms possess such wherewithal
I cannot help but wonder then
Should not likewise you and I?

Here I Am Again On My Own....

I am lonely. That is probably the best way to say it. Lots of work, issues with the kids and house, I am truly empty and lonely inside. If you looked at me, you would never know. If you spoke to me, you would think I was on cloud 9! But if you really knew me, look deep in my eyes and you can see that I am empty.

Ironically, in the midst of this insanity, I have a million projects that need to be done. I hit it big with a client and got my marketing budget doubled. Great! Double the amount of work. Closed some big deals today but also had the tears rolling down my face as I did it. I gotta snap out of this funk. And the closest people around me...don't even notice how bad it is. I should win an academy award these days.

So am I sorry I got divorced? No, not one bit sorry. Funny that has never crossed my mind. What has crossed my mind is how I need to move ahead somehow. I meet a man, I get my hopes up and I am so sad when he doesn't turn out to be someone I really want to spend time with. I want someone who calls me and says let's go get a bite. Lets go to the bookstore. Lets cuddle on the couch.

I am falling into my old ways before I got married and with my affairs. Wanting to please way too much these days. Ironically, I threw my Instant Messenger on which i haven't don in probably a year and these men came flying out of the woodwork. It was fun and good to catch up but the reality is, there was not one of them that I wanted then nor do I want now.

Tomorrow, I need to start the day fresh. I am going to sleep now. Start a whole new beginning. I have been going to the gym, been drinking water and watching what I eat. Not a pound....ugh!! you did miss an I Love Lucy episode last night. I took a kickboxing class last night. Well my first one and boy was I a riot. You have to learn the routine and since I was new, I didn't know it but boy was it hysterical trying and it was fun. I would like to get into that...my goal. Okay off to bed, just wanted to give a little hi!! Writing in my blog always makes me feel better. Thanks for listening!

Smart & Innovative in Life, Stupid With Men

And so you can see from the title of the post, I am in a definite funk. I am sitting here amazed and doing some deep thinking today about ME. Here I am, a woman who is pretty damn smart. From a professional standpoint, I know my work well. I have a knack to think outside of the box, charm professionals and really make things happen. I speak with people and they offer me positions and want me to work with them because from talking to me, I am able to make them think and discover new angles. If I had more time and energy and my life wasn't so screwed up, I could probably be a very rich woman. One big company just took my advice on re-designing their software to make it more user friendly. They did it and they are already seeing results. in my pocket? I got a thanks.

So here's the question....a woman who can be so smart in the business world, who has such potential.....how could I be such a fuck up when it comes to men? It's amazing to me how I am such a poor judge. How when I choose, I always choose the playa. The one that doesn't want nor will ever want any kind of commitment on any level. Are all men like that or am I just finding the real winners.

I watched a show the other night about a politician on the west coast who was brilliant. She was a mover and shaker and pissed a lot of people off along the way but she worked hard for the people. In her trails, were three ex husbands and one soon to be ex that were all losers. Actually she was murdered and they weren't sure if it were the loser ex's or if it was someone she pissed off in her political trails. Okay, I am not going down that road, but so many woman are so smart business wise yet such failures with men. Look at Sandra Bullock? Oh I could go on and on...so what is it?

yes, I spent the morning crying. As I was working to reach a deadline around the world, the tears were flowing down my face. As I sit here and cry, a call comes in that I was asked to join an extremely prestigious group in my area of some of the most brilliant men (with a few woman) in the area. And as I was on the phone with the Founder...he said, he wanted to meet with me alone for coffee to discuss his business because he found some of my ideas truly worth exploring

I laughed so hard when I hung up. I guess I should be happy that my poor judgement in men does not flow over to my business life. Maybe I should just stay away from men for a little bit (yeah, yeah everytime I say that, the next one comes along).

Can You Workout A Penis?

I seriously always wondered can a man workout his penis? It is part of your body and if the rest of your body is pure muscle how can this organ be excluded? Study after study (legitimate studies not all these penis enlargement sites) claim that you cannot increase your cock in anyway except with surgery. However, let's face it, I've seen a few cocks in my day and quite frankly the guys who workout have damn girth. You would think it would be the opposite then if you couldn't work it out. You would think that their cocks would seem smaller because of their body mass. But site after site that I reviewed says you cannot change the size. I have to say, after last night, I definitely think someone needs to study this more.

There has been this personal trainer that has been calling me, texting me...we met once. He is actually a body model for calendars. You know those calendars that show men in provocative pix with tool belts and woman hanging on them. I saw his pictures, they are unbelievable hot, oozing with sexuality.

He came over last night to watch a movie. I have been playing it real cool because, honestly, I am a little intimidated by his body. this man has perfection. We were hanging out watching a movie and just enjoying each others company. When he came in with a tight tank top, I was totally intimidated and self conscious. But he doesn't seem to notice my body is not TIGHT like his. I gave him a tour of my house and when we got to the bedroom, he just smiled and looked into my eyes and went to kiss me when my neighbors walked in. He bugged and we came running downstairs. Funny, this is the second time my neighbor walked in on me. She stayed and talked for a few...both of us in shock and then she left. but as she was walking out when his back was turned, her eyes widened and she mouthed He IS GORGEOUS..WOW!

After a little awkwardness, I took his hand and we went upstairs. Now we were just going to kiss a little and the next thing I know it was progressing. But it was a little awkward..I think he was afraid to make a move because we did a lot of kissing and he was hard as a rock. He removed his shirt and FUCK. His entire body is sculpted. My eyes bugged out of my head. Now i have seen guys with great bodies (Mr. fireman is up there) but this guy has to be the best I have ever seen. sucking on his nipples, rubbing my hands down his chest...crap. But honestly, while I was enjoying his look, it made me extremely self conscious of my imperfections. Finally, I opened his pants and felt his cock through his underwear as he was kissing me neck and massaging my breasts. We are talking this thing felt HUGE. Now I had to see, and then it was unveiled.

All I could think was serve me right. All these years I say how I am so into girth and I have been lucky that guys like MM, Mr. Porsche, Fireman, Chris....all had that girth thing going on. But now, OMG, this thing was a monster. I had to see if i could get it into my mouth. We all know that I can suck a cock and deep throat pretty well....this cock had a huge head and thick shaft...I couldn't even get it half way into my mouth. IT was shocking! Oh man, i wanted that baby inside of me but it was too soon.

I found myself being withdrawn a little. he said this is where you tell me you want my fingers inside of you.....i felt like I was a virgin here. I was not my aggressive self, I was timid. I was speechless, when did a man have to give me cues? So he slipped his hand inside to my clit....and massaged. Oh my...it was amazing...and then he slid two fingers inside, of course i was drenched. And then he insisted on making me cum. He didn't want me to please him, he wanted to make me cum. So i calmed down and watched him as he leaned over me with that body of perfection and fingers deep inside of me. Oh my body responded and the aura came rushing over me. I am going to cum I screamed. And then I did.

I went to go down on him...I massaged his cock. It was a rock, some pre-cum but he told me he has total control. i was working it and couldn't get him to cum. He did this thing where he liked to stand and grind into me as i rubbed my hands up and down his body and we even went to a mirror but the bathroom light was so light it wasn't hot. i knew he only had a few minutes but this went on for a good hour. he had to go, he had to get up by 6AM.

I don't know, i wasn't totally into him before. I am not sure how I am feeling now. I guess I would like a man with a few imperfections. such perfection is intimidating to me. It had to be me, because i was holding back, I never had awkwardness in bed before. don't get me wrong, it was hot but it didn't flow like with most of the frogs I have been with. not sure why not. BUT it was Goooood! i kind of wish I had slept with him. I won't call today or text today. I will wait and see. I really didn't want it to go that far but I should have let him eat me out and screwed him at that point. Hmmmm....why didn't I let him? I didn't want him to think I was a whore? I am not sure.

So now while I was looking for a pix similar to the one that he did (I couldn't find his online so quickly) I did however find this one and I laughed but was totally grossed out. Take a look, it work a giggle.

Super Hunks
http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/hunk.html

New Guy--Another Dangerous Bad Boy

So what is it that I attract bad boys. Oh he's a smart man, he pulled me in by saying he was looking for a smart, sweet girl who was independent yet would allow a man to spoil her. A best friend, a lover, a confidante.

SUCKER WORDS!! It all came out, he is a player. Dating 22 year olds, flying girls in from out of state, picking girls up all the time...I was fooled because we were on the phone this past few weeks every night.

He admitted tonight that he has to be with a model. He loves model types so the man who claimed looks meant very little is actually a man whore. Last night a woman flew in just to see him. I said that's ok I got laid this week too. He was bugging that i got laid on the day we were suppose to meet. TOUCHE!!

I told him tonight on the phone we were not meant to be together. I am not what he is looking for and he is not what I am looking for. That it's a waste of both our time. He didn't like that....well its the truth. I am not going to worry about each little imperfection on my body. He's rather not have sex he claims than have a girl that doesn't 100% turn him on. I can't be so self conscious....he's not for me.

But we are great as people on the phone. The conversation flows, we both admitted that we are good on a mental level. And once again, we managed to have amazing phone sex. timing it that we both came. It's hot...

It amazes me how vanilla he is. Nothing out of the ordinary and he dies when he hears that I love to give a great blow job. It makes him nuts.

He begged me to meet him out tomorrow night. I said no, I don't want to meet you. Now its driving him nuts. But I have to say, I am glad that we had the conversation tonight. I mean this man would buy a Russian bride and be okay with that. He is not for me...but he does turn me on. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I LOVE YOU.....Oooopss!!

I saw Mr. Porsche yesterday. He was surprising not stressed, he was calm, he was not deviant and he was gentle. Wow, what a change in pace. We cuddled, he made me cum four times...yes I was a damn river, you know how wet I get...it's crazy. It was an amazing afternoon. He wasn't in a rush. He cuddled me, spooned me, made love to me, tickled me, wrestled me....it was the calmest day I have had with him. I love being with him. the first ten minutes I just vented....went on a rage of all the things wrong with me and he held me and smiled. He finds my releases amusing...like a child throwing a temper tantrum. But he knows I feel better after and quite frankly none of my complaints was about him. He just smirks and then he looks me in the eyes and says, feel better? I say yes and then he kisses me.

We kissed today more than ever. He just wanted to kiss me and kiss me. who was this man? Oh he is always good to me but this was a different man. As we lie in bed, my damn phone is going crazy. wow you are just getting call after call...silence. he thinks it is all men..well two were. He's so not losing me, he's my foundation. He's my support, he's my baby. But reality is, he knows that one day I might find a steady thing. I guess it more realistic to him now.

So my friends called, we were making plans for dinner. I scream to him how I should go meet them. His eyes bug, they know I am with you? YES...relax, they know of you but not who you are..he did and kissed me. My friend heard the kiss, wow, lucky girl. And then as I was on the phone he kisses my neck and then slipped $50 in my bra. Go have a great time on me baby. He has a heart of gold.

And then out of no where...he was up against the door and I leaned over to say good by and kiss him and i said....I Love You....took me by surprise as I am sure it took him by surprise. I quickly changed the topic so he wouldn't have to respond or acknowledge it. Where the fuck did that come from? I mean I do love him. I love him sooooo much. But I am realistic that we are never going to be together and I am totally okay with that because we would kill each other. So I think I shocked us both with the I LOVE YOU!!

He left me there to get ready and then I met my GFs. Oh boy, we were laughing. My GF is having her single friend call me. I am like a single person counselor these days which cracks me up. As we sat at the phone, I got four calls from men. Doesn't phase you bitch! and we all started to laugh. Actually it doesn't. I am not fulfilled, the right one has not come yet. Can't even find one to fulfill that void. Mr. Porsche does in most ways but there is that area that others have filled at times but now it is still a big void.

Now my GF, she's in the big leagues. She meets multi-millionaires and blows them off. That's because she hangs out in the top places. So last night over a sangria, I promised her that I would go in and go with her to these places. Her newest toy is this super famous basketball player. I even knew his name...good looking guy man and big bucks. She blew him off...he was so pissed. But not pissed too much that he didn't call her two days later for lunch. way too funny.

I told her how the new guy wants to take me to Costa Rica. Tells me I haven't traveled enough that he wants to show me all the great places in the world. WOW, too bad he has some issue going on.

another great night with the girls and Mr. Porsche....I went to bed content!!!!! Aaaah!!!

A Frog Party

So after I wrote that toast to the frogs post, I thought about it. How funny would it be to one day invite all the frogs to a party. Possibly not even inform them what it was or even that it was about me and then unveil my blog! hahahahaaha

My girlfriend once said to me, if something happened to you, would you want all the frogs at your funeral? Well i would hope some of them would show up to say good by. I would think that would be amusing. A frog section. Okay that is morbid but definitely a way to go out! As I look down from the heavens above, I can get the last glance of the men who brought me so much joy! Oh, as you may be thinking is she going to heaven? Well, here's the thing. Personally, I think God ways your life on a scale. I am hoping that infidelity is only one gold bar on that scale..if it is, then I am going to heaven. If it isn't....well....that scale is teetering....okay gotta go do some charity work now! lol

I LOVE TO TEASE....

I admit it, I can definitely be a cock tease sometimes and well today I really was in the mood. I don't know what it was. I just decided that I needed to get do a little teasing. I had taken a pix of me lying down one night when I was putting my daughter to bed. Leaning on one hand, my hair over one eye and I was wearing my lounging pjs. basically, amazing cleavage in this thing. So i snapped a pix and it came out ok...my face doesn't look amazing but the pix is oozing with sexuality. So I cropped it just to see a little cleavage and I decided to put it on my yahoo messenger as my picture. now I am always offline but this time I went through the list of old frogs. those that I would want to tease, those that I would want to miss me.....and I just put them online.

I was working on my computer all day today so it was my amusement for the day.

First victim....my new guy. OMG, he fell right into a unexpected trap. I didn't even see this one coming. we just signed up for IM so I guess he didn't make the connection that it was me. He sent a note HEY and I responded hey sexy what's up. He started asking me questions he knew the answer to....and I still wasn't catching on that he didn't know who I was. I said to him why are you asking me this you know the answers to these questions, you should keep your ladies straight. He responded, if I had a woman like you, I wouldn't need other ladies. Is that really a recent pix? I was thinking he had a friend sitting there. So I responded...what is up with you? did you think I stole a gallery of someone elses pix? Anyway, he said wow, your quite the ballbuster....and he blocked me!! lol So I called him and said what is your problem....all if a sudden it clicked in his head and mine...that was me!!!! OMG, I am so embarrassed, I never saw that pix of you. I can't talk, I gotta take this call, and he hung up. A minute later, he asked to be my friend again....hahahahahahahaha. I think he is sooo embarrassed, I didn't hear a word from him today. How ridiculous if it is over before it begins because of that. I didn't realize he didn't know it was me. No wonder why he thought my responses were shocking....I am laying low on this one.

Next victim....the uncircumsized penis guy. do you remember him!?1? The one who said he only dates models and showed me his penis at the bar and I tied him up in his car. He wrote, wow, how are you? More babble and then wanted to know if I wanted to cam with him that he misses me on the cam. Uhmmmmm, let me think...NO THANKS...Great talking to you but I don't think we have much to say......no wait, he says, lets go out again. OH PLEASE!!!! My response, i dom't think so....

Next Victim....the Surgeon. Oh yes, this has been going on for years and we still haven't met. You are tempting me so, I can't do office hours. Holy crap, I need to meet you. But of course he has not plans on it. The men must be dying over that pix. Oh well, when you finally want to meet, let me know baby....hehehehehhehehe He came back on tonight....I reminded him that if we would have screwed once a week the past five years that would have been over 260 screws!! UGHHHHH!! I've used your pix so many times throughout the years to get off..its probably more than that now. And with this one, damn, I think its going to be twice a day. Too cute!!

next victim...the divorce attorney but I am mad at him so I didn't respond yet.

Oh well, such is life. a little amusement while I was working.

And tonight, I actually just turned my online on for all to see. And wow, the frogs that hopped in were amazing....four responses from guys I didn't even remember talking to and those that I vaguely remember. All saying how amazing I look, asking how I've been. Asking if I still am looking at married men....this is hysterical.

So, if you stay offline like I do and you have a long list of messenger people...try turning it on one day. You will be shocked at who comes out of the woodwork. I was on the phone tonight with Mr. Pulitzer...he asked me if I ever figured out how many men I went out with or blowed or slept with. Nope...way too many have come and gone. First dates that never amounted to anything. Online chats that never went anywhere. Truth is, I will sit down one day and try to figure it out. However, in my mind, there are only a few in my life that made a lasting impression. A few that pop into my head at times for one reason or another. A few that gave me strength, helped me build my sexuality, those that filled that endless empty void and honestly, I will always think positively about them. In my heart, I will be grateful to them for life for helping me through the darkest days. I don't know what I would have done without them.

A Toast to the Frogs!!!!!!!

Way Too Funny

Single Men? What's The Deal With Them?

I have decided tonight that I can't date single men without children. Granted we are technically both single BUT I honestly have more in common with a married man than a single man. Single men seem to just keep adding necessaries to their list until they have a person that is not even real. Truth is, I can't keep up with all their must be's. it's insane.

the latest guy, I like him. He's got so many positive attributes but I can't meet his standards. We have been talking every night until 2AM. we started having phone sex. Oh he loves teasing me, telling me he is going to put his cock in and then pull it out. Tease me.....super hot.

Now here's the thing about him. He seems sweet, he is funny, we have great conversation but he doesn't want to meet me. He likes me and he says he's afraid we will meet and that it won't be a match and bey extremely disappointing at this point. Are we a match? I don't think so sadly. Oh he is for me but I don't think I am for him. Curvy doesn't seem to be his look according to the amazing girls on his site. Another thing I noticed, his tolerance level is zero. Although after a little discussion that didn't go his way--he did call me back. I don't think our stubborness is going to work in either of our favors.

Another problem,he has this crew. A bunch of guys that hang out together. He seems to have plans with the crew almost every day. I don't think he has time to meet me. Last night, he was coming to my area. He was going to this new, hot lounge. Total single environment and I didn't think that was conducive to us meeting. I was nervous as it is...all the plastic surgery in this hot spot, tight asses, new boobs....not what I would call a good meet. So I made other plans to go meet my friends in the city. He was upset that I made the plans so I said I would leave early and meet him outside of that environment.

Turns out the place was all outdoors and it was super hot. He texted me he was leaving. Grrrr....I was a baby and pouted. Stupiditly We ended talking a little today but I left a message and he didn't call me back. I am sitting on it, not going to push it at all.