Mr. Porsche and I had been together for over five years. But since the Mr. Einstein came into my life, I have not seen Mr. Porsche except on a business level once or twice. We talk all the time but I have to be honest, I think it is a combination of wanting to be committed and being able to say "I have never cheated on you" to Mr. Einstein and for it to be the truth. It holds a lot of weight with me. I know we're not married but I also know that I do want this.
Work has been unbearable, the ex not paying child support and I have been content. I kept avoiding Mr. Porsche. Well not avoiding him but I would make plans to see him and then I would cancel. A combination of chickening out and depression (nice mix isn't it..lol). So I soul searched and realized, I had to say good by for now. I realized that I wasn't into the submissive/dominant role playing right now. That wasn't going to work for me at this point in my life. I don't want to be submissive, I am enjoying this equal relationship I have. I also realized that his life is set with the wifey, all the kids leaving to college and he was almost starting his life over with her as an empty nester. Too complicated.
And then of course there is the main reason, I love Mr. Einstein. I am not sure he is MR. Prince Charming but I am happy right now. The sex is amazing and mind blowing. We screw for hours and days...lol Our weekends are just packed with cuddling, raw sex, lovemaking and deep talks. I am happy with him, he fulfills me intellectually and physically......yummy!!!!
I realized I haven't written that much about him here. I think its come down to fear. I fear he is going to find my blog or that Mr. Porsche would find it. I fear that the exact thing would happen with Mr. Einstein as it did with Mystery Man. My blog was the demise of us. I don't want to chance it. Mr. Einstein said something I didn't think about. He said that men will look at an ex's new boyfriend and feel like...hey, he has my leftovers. Where as a woman looks at her ex as...see, I moved on and did better. Mr. Einstein knows about my blog BUT I will never let him read it. He knows I had affairs but I never went into detail. He knows the last guy I slept with had a small cock and he knows that the trainer I didn't sleep with had the biggest cock I had ever seen. He knows I have a past. I cannot share it with him. He does know it exists though and well the past is the past.
I think I am going to start blogging about our sex life. It would be a shame to not have it in my diary.....especially since it is soooooooo hot!!!!
