His Voice + The Chance We May Meet = One Wet Cheri

It's as if he has a radar in place. As if he knows just when I am moving on. He seems to just step in as I am about to disappear from his life. Not once, not twice but this has been going on for months.

Is it because he was my first affair? Is it because he made me have multiple orgasms like I haven't had in years? Is it that fine cherry ass that keeps pulling me back for more? Is it the memories of him doing me from behind thrusting so hard yet interlocking my hands in such a way that we were so connected? What draws me back to this man? Yes, I am talking about Mr. Government.

I was so moving on. We have been texting back and forth for some time and well....I was beginning to forget about him. My thoughts have been pre-occupied with Curious George and Mr. Heart these days. They have been bringing me joy and satisfaction. Mr. Government...well we all know how he loves to play with me like he's fishing.

We haven't spoken in awhile, just texting back and forth and IMing. But today, I was feeling great. I came up with an amazing promotion for work and the samples arrived today. Another project is coming along great. Mr. Heart has been super attentive and really makes me feel good. He gives me those little extras that I love so much. And I hadn't checked my phone till 3Pm. There was a voice mail from Mr. Heart.....just thinking about you....going into surgery, will try to catch up with you later if its not too late..."Mwah sexy" And then I saw I missed a text.... Mr. Government!

"Hey sexy...thinking about you. How are you?" he writes
"Actually I am excellent. Drinking McDonald's iced coffee...actually better than the Starbucks we drink". I write
"I'm passing our spot right now. I can't help but think and miss you". he writes...
"Actually I can hardly remember what you look like. I think you have two heads with purple hair right?..I write
"You've seen my two heads...lol. And lots of other things. If you don't remember, I'll have to refresh your memory". he writes

Okay, I can't resist........my head says to say I'll pass but thanks. My body is reacting and I am starting to get wet.
"I vaguely remember this tight, hot cherry ass. Did I ever tell you I love to eat cherries in the summer?" I wrote

Then my phone rings......."Meet me. I miss you and I want you so bad right now. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and me. Meet me."

"Whose this?" I had to say it. "Stop it Cheri. Meet me at our spot."
No, I'm not going to. I turned him down and he was taken back. Honestly, I couldn't. I was finishing up work and then had to get home to the kids. And I wasn't going to give in that easily.
"Then tomorrow if I don't get caught at work. Just for coffee. I just want to see you. I'm sorry for getting you upset. I'm sorry for being an ass, I have been trying to be good. I haven't been with anyone and I can't get you out of my head. PLEASE".

Oh boy. I can't resist him. I know, I know I should. But tell that to my body. Tell my out of control nipples to stop tingling. Tell my pussy not to get so damn wet and tight and longing for him. Damn. But I didn't say yes. He always gets caught at work so it won't make a difference what I say today. "Call me tomorrow and we'll see if I can swing it".

So my thoughts have been lingering about him the rest of the day. We spoke some more. Some chit chat. So attentive on what I am up to. So wanting to know everything (I know its his dick talking. His penis is so damn polite and knows exactly what to say).

The good thing is that I have my head on straighter now about him. If we do meet, I am going to treat it as a proper good by. The last hooray. I am the type who needs closure and well I never got it with him. So, one last fuck for the road and then if its over, its over. I won't be blind sided this time. I will not think that there will be a next. One hot steamy intense sexual rendezvous between two secret lovers....but this time, I won't think there is a next.

I just need closure on things. Otherwise, it bothers me. Chris is the best example. He has shut me out totally. That's his way of dealing by cutting someone off cold turkey with no good by. I need a good by. A closure.....
Well I don't want to think about him. I had a great day.

And tomorrow--I know that Mr. Government and I are not going to meet. He will have been building the guilt up all night and chicken out in the morning. But it was great to hear his voice and for him to admit that he has been getting so hard thinking about me.

The tangled web.....

A Successful Secret Rendezous On Cheri's Secret Lovers Lane

So, you must be wondering.....yes, I finally did meet Mr. Heart today. The roads were packed, the weather was horrible but we decided nothing was going to stop us from meeting today. It took us two hours to finally hook up but it was the anticipation....the determination to not let anything stand in our way that added to the excitement.

We decided to keep driving toward each other until we finally hit the same area. I found a quiet restaurant and sat down in a booth in the back. Of course, you know I was feeling insecure. I don't know why...that is just the way I am. Especially with all his "physical issues" what happens if we just didn't attract? As I sat there I said it didn't matter. I was nervous and screw it. I hate these first meetings...they are so damn nerve racking. My heart was pounding out of my chest.

So there he was....he's really good looking. I knew that from his picture..he had a boyish charm to him. And he walked towards me....and I decided to get up to greet him. He just looked into my eyes and gave me a kiss and then we both smiled. All of a sudden two people who spoke nonstop were both silent. As he looked into my eyes, he said "You are so amazingly gorgeous...I don't even know what to say. I cannot believe you are you. You have taken my words away." So, I guess you can say that he liked what he saw. The next thing I know, our lips met and we were in this intense kiss....all the anticipation, all the talking and now here we were sucking face.

We sat down in the booth and were like little kids holding hands. We shared lunch and we just talked for hours. For dessert, I went and sat next to him on his side of the booth. Okay, the attraction was definitely there. We kissed and now our hands began to wander a little. I had to see if he was hard...and he was. Very hard.

So now we are both aroused and sitting in a public restaurant. There was no time for a hotel, although the levels were so hot....I would have gone. We walked out to his car and we sat inside and talked a little more but as soon as our lips touched...it began to get super hot again. Our lips were all over each other...my neck, his neck, my ear,his ear...our hands exploring each others bodies outside our clothes. "I want you so bad right now".....the feeling was mutual. I could feel myself getting so wet and aroused.

So when I was a teenager, just sucking face in a car was enough. Now it was not...He's an amazing kisser. I love to kiss and our lips and tongues were just entwined. Circles, sucking, bites....it was getting really hot. He opened his pants because his cock was in severe pain in his tight jeans. The head was sticking out and was just so inviting. "I want to be with you. I want to be inside of you. I want to control you". Hmmmm.....I was about to explode. It was so intense and I get so damn wet. And this was no different, I could feel my juices flowing. I could feel my body wanting him. The real world had left us.........it was just the two of us in our own little bubble (in a parking lot with people coming and going).

"I need to feel your wetness. I want to feel your clit. Just for a second." I wanted that too but in the middle of a parking lot...we were in the back but still someone could come by. As he was breathing heavy in my ear, I decided I needed for him to feel me too. His hand slipped to my pants and he started to unzip the zipper. Ididn't stop him. I needed to feel his hand on my clit. I needed to feel his touch. And as I had anticipated, my juices were flowing and flowing and flowing.

"you are so damn wet, I can't stand this. I want to taste you." One touch was not enough. I wanted more and now could not care who was around. He played with my clit as I moaned. I could feel his fingers slip inside of me.. I was so excited....I thought I was going to have an orgasm right there just from his touch. So my hand is rubbing his hard cock and his hands are down my pants and the moment was so damn intense. And, someone was walking to the car next to us. We had to quickly stop our interaction and gain our composure.

And with that, the flow of reality came rushing in. The reality of where we were, the reality of life, the reality of time. Yes, it was late and we had to return to our real lives. So he drove me to my car and we kissed for just a few minutes more. It was too much of a tease...we had to stop. It was hard for us to both leave...but we had to. Reality was a knockin!.

Stuck in traffic, I began to re-think the afternoon and the tightness in my walls were way too much for me to handle. I needed to get home to masturbate. I called him as I was sitting in the car and he didn't pick up his phone. Oh no! Insecurity was beginning to rush over me. I left a message and then looked at my phone, I had a voice mail. It was him. He didn't answer because he was calling me at the same time. He also couldn't figure out why Ididn't answer.

I called him back....we spoke for awhile and yes, we decided we had to meet again. But not for a turkey sandwich this time. He told me that he couldn't believe how I made him feel. That I was so damn sexy and that he was still in shock. I guess my younger years of always picking the losers in life has left more of a scar on me then I had ever thought. I know I am pretty but I don't see that sexy woman that some men see when I look in the mirror.

So, I guess you can say that was a pretty great secret lover rendezvous. It was intense, it was passionate and I wish we had been in a hotel room. Will we meet again? I dont know. This is usually where they say--they feel guilty. It felt too good". So, I am taking it for just a fun and great afternoon...nothing more. There's also some baggage of his, that I have to decide if I want to deal with. But I have time to think about that, another day.

And yes, when I got home. I went straight upstairs. Thankfully no one was home and I had to masturbate. And so I did. I was so damn wet. Just a few circles, a few moments of thinking about my day and the orgasms began to flow. I took a quick nap and grabbed dinner with some girlfriends tonight.

Okay, you are 900 miles away and you have the most amazing glow to you tonight. What's going on?? Damn that new job is really doing wonders for you. Yeah it is, I agreed. But you always have a best friend there that knows differently.....after a few more bottles of wine...she turned to me and said....okay, who is the new guy? I want to hear about it tomorrow. Hee.hee. She knows me too well.

So now, almost 24 hours after my last post....I have my answer. And now I can go to sleep....content....and I really don't care if I don't see him again although I do want to be with him. The sex would be hot and that is what I need right now...I'm off to bed, to think about the afternoon one more time...I'm going to have to sneak and play with myself under the covers. I NEED HOT SEX!

Sweet wet dreams!!!!!






So, he walked in an

A secret lover rendezvous Are the Stars aligned??

It's 2:45AM and I can't sleep. Tonight was such a strange evening...the stars must have been aligned or something.

The evening began with a heated conversation with Curious George. His desire is to push me to my limit. For me to discover what my limits are. I learned tonight...that my limits are farther than I had thought. You know he webcams and well I watch...BUT I was intrigued tonight by his suggestion that I do a cam of me masturbating. 100% anonymous of course. I thought I would immediately say no...but I didn't. I'm not sure I could go through with it but it is a hot idea of people watching me masturbate. I guess the fact that I didn't immediately say no I have been sitting here thinking about that.

Then Mr. Heart called me. He's been saying for the longest time he wants us to meet. We have great conversations BUT I have labeled him in Mr. Navigator territory.....the too busy to get it together. He actually called yesterday and he wanted to meet today--I couldn't too much work. And then he called tonight saying he cleared his schedule for tomorrow afternoon (and unless an emergency comes up--he's coming out to see me). 15 minutes later, Mr. Backgammon wanted to see me tomorrow and then MR. Divorce Attorney popped out of the woodwork and invited me to lunch. Is tomorrow a "MUST CHEAT" day??? Did I miss the broadcast or something?! Isn't that weird.

I decided to meet Mr. Hart. I am not rescheduling my day--he has to fit into it. I planned on taking off a little early so its his call. In anticipation that we may meet---I had a ME NIGHT!!

Damn, a woman has to do so much to get ready for a lunch. YOu never know what may come of it and if I decided to take that path--I wanted to be ready.

So, I took a lavendar bath.....touched up my hair (I am sooo blonde now)...and shaved and trimmed. I did a triangle...very neatly trimmed...just in case. Thankfully the pedicure is done and the nails were done (I always have them done). And then I did a tangerine scrub....I love that....I smell like a tangerine right now. It absorbs into the skin and my whole body smells like a tangerine. Wanna squeeze me?!? And that bath felt so amazing....all my worries seem to come out of me. Of course, I use the jets as a stimulator....love those jets. I think all the webcam talk and the anticipation of a possible meeting...the jets made me cum in no time. I was imagining that there was a cam in my bathroom catching my bathtub masturbation session--it surprisingly turned me on.

So its 3AM...I have to get to sleep. I am nervous because Mr. Hart is a little complex. Physical attraction, while it is so important, is not everything with me. But very important to him....in a way too important and it makes me nervous. I'm not perfect....I guess if we don't hit it off, its not a big deal. Conversationally we do....I love yet hate this nervous feeling....if we click, do I sleep with him? I guess I will know the answer in 12 hours. Oh, he probably won't end up showing..I'm not going to think about it. I am just so horny now. And it would be a shame to waste a perfect triangle!! I love the feeling when I am perfectly trimmed and shaved. The clit is so easily accessible!!

Okay, I'll let you know if anything happens....have a great day tomorrow!!!

The Mystery Man Re-Appears

A couple of weeks ago, you might remember..I was flirting with a guy on the highway. We both pulled over in the Starbucks and he gave me his number. You all said to call--but I threw it out. Realizing he worked somewhere in the building that I do a lot of business in.

Well, today I was in a meeting. Usually, I am in an office or a lounge area..today I went with a few of the gentlman to grab a bite while we discussed business. As I am in the middle of a presentation, I look up and there is the guy from the sports car. OH yes, he is across the room. Of course, I lost my thoughts for a second but quickly recovered. My eyes continued to follow him. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to see me or not. Not really great timing here BUT he is so damn hot. Actually I am not the only one who noticed him walk into the room, so did a whole bunch of other woman.

So, I finished my presentation and was just chatting with the people Iwas with. Now what?!? I decided to forget it. The last thing I need in my life right now is this male gigolo that all the ladies want. Granted he is one fine specimen BUT I can't mix business with pleasure AND he would be a scandal. He's not the type of person that you could be sitting and having lunch with and no one would notice. Okay, a bottled water for the road and I am off. He disappeared anyway so it didn't matter what my intentions.

I grabbed my water and was waiting to pay when I hear a voice "you didn't call for the coffee....so at least let me get this water". Holy shit--it was HIM!!!!! I don't know where he re-appeared from but he saw me AND he remembered me. I was tongue tied. What do I say?!? I knew I was all red now. I get shy sometimes and for some reason I was right now. "I misplaced your number". Hmmm......MISPLACED!! And we both laughed.

"My name is Cheri. What's yours?" And the cocky bastard says...."damn, I seemed to misplace my name tag" as he gave the biggest smile that with those blue eyes, I could feel my body starting to react to him. He was beginning to suck me in....I could feel myself being sucked in....I could feel little tingles and my nipples getting hard. Okay this was not cool. I quickly lifted my notebook over my tits so he wouldn't see my erect nipples through the shirt. Now, I couldn't use the excuse it was cold because it was not cold there.

So I said "Well Mr. Misplaced.....thanks for the water. And hopefully the next time we meet..you will have found your name" (in a flirty way of course with a flirty smile and I walked away). "See ya around Cheri"

Damn! He had one up on me. He knew my first name. I don't know if I am up for the game. I am still juggling Mr. Heart (and Mr. Government--I know, I hate to tell you he's still in the picture).

So I went back to the people I was with and I said good by. I walked out and one of the doctors had gone back for a cup of coffee. I peeked back in to get one last glance at the Hunk of Sexiness AND he was talking to the doctor I had just had the meeting with. He was looking at my information I had just given the other doctors. So, now he knows everything. Where I work, why I was there etc. etc. AND I KNOW NOTHING!!!! Think quick, think quick....

I waited in the lobby. The doctor who went for the coffee came out. I said "oh! I forgot to give you this study. I didn't want to interrupt you with the other doctor." He said "Oh you should have. I would have introduced you. He was very interested in your service and even asked if I had an extra card. He jotted down your number to call you for some information. Oh, there he is... Dr. XOXOX ...here is the woman we were just talking about." And so I was formally introduced to the Doctor. Hee.hee. Equal playing ground now. He was blushing. He got busted asking about me !!!! WE shook hands (what an amazing handshake...I could have melted in his arms). "Oh damn, Dr. XOXOX, I seemed to misplace all my business cards. I will drop one off the next time I am here". "It's okay, I got your number" he said smiling.

Funny, we are both standing there playing a game of flirtatious chess and this other doctor had no idea he was a pawn in this game. I left and I had a smile from ear to ear. Even back at my office, I couldn't help but keep smiling. I was wet. Very wet. Why do I get so turned on by flirtatious head games? Well, everyday should have them. The beginning is always the funniest, the most exciting and the most fulfilling.

I really should stay away. All the red lights are flashing!!! Yet, you know I am always drawn to the danger.
Sweet Wet Dreams..I know I will!!!!

Gravity Free Sex

It's funny how I am attracted to such a variety of different men. I think it's because they are able to fulfill a different aspect of my complex personality (lol). They each fulfill a different need of mine.....a different part of the deep void that exists.

I don't like to hurt anyone (yes, no wonder I was voted "Most Eager To Please")! But I finally have stopped answering the frogs that I know are going no where. I kinda of weaned them off the breast in a way!!

So, now I am actually feeling good. Right now, there are two men that I am playing with (for a lack of a better term). Curious George, my webcam partner!! And, Mr. Heart. Very different in personalities, very different in views. In fact, Curious George makes me laugh so much. He is turned on by my imperfections. My breasts are a size D and while they used to stand straight up...the years of done a little damage. In a bra, I think they are hot!! So round and voluptous...without gravity is not as kind. But he is into that. He says its part of a woman's body and natural is so much better than fake tits. And he means it. I feel sexy with him because its okay that this body is not perfect. Now its not terrible...but its not perfect.

Mr. Heart is judgmental and many times harps on a perfect body. Making me feel insecure. I actually brought it to his attention today and he swears that he doesn't mean that. That I am taking it wrong...but I know appearances are very, very important to him. They are to me too. you have to be attracted to the person--but a person's soul is so important to me. I get turned on more by the person inside.

However, I am enjoying both of them right now. The key---we are friends. We have things in common. I can talk to both of them for hours and there would never be a lull. We're on the same mental wavelength and that is sooooo important. Actually, I am realizing that is THE most important thing. Oh of course, the sex, the playing, getting all wet is up there...but I really think for it to stay alive---its got to be more than just a surface fuck.

So now my question that I have been wondering. If I moved to the moon, would my tits become weightless? Would they fly in the air, go back to being as perky as they used to be? If I became an astronaut--I would probably have that perfect body again. Hmmm...its a thought. Not as sexy of a uniform as the Santa's helper, a policewoman or a nurse---but I would have perfect tits again!!

Now can you imagine having sex in space? Do you think it would be more difficult or do you think it would be orgasmic and so damn hot? All the different positions you could encounter.....having sex in the air must be a wild experience. Do you think the astronauts have tried it? And what happens to a penis in space? Now we know the cum would just float in the air--like when they show water from a glass floating. Okay, this whole gravity free sex talk is turning me on......how yummy!!! Do they have gravity machines anywhere that I could have sex??

Well as you can see my posts have been a little infrequent with the new job....BUT good news!!! I got a laptop.....yeah!!! So as soon as I get wireless connections...baby I will be back stronger and hornier than ever!!! And I will be able to podcast from anywhere...now that is going to be fun....I can podcast and maturbate at the same time in some funky location....all right.....Sweet Wet Dreams!!! XOXOXOXOXOXXX

My Orgasmic Webcam Session......

I realize why I have been delaying writing my webcam rendezvous with Curious George....because he reads my blog. Most of the men I have mentioned do not read it, so I don't feel like I am revealing too much of myself. Well I am telling you everything..but I write things I would never ever tell them. This is different....Curious George reads my every post. Doesn't comment except to me privately but he is lurking in the blogosphere world. So, do I write details? Do I keep my feelings to myself to avoid being too exposed? I decided to just write it as if he doesn't read my blog. So here goes..............

I have discovered something new about myself. I enjoy webcamming but get the most satisfaction from a guy making me cum. He is in charge, he is in control and I am following his every direction as I watch him masturbating and getting hard at the thought of me cumming!! Selfish? Yeah...a little since I do not have a webcam for him to see me playing with myself. But there are some ways around that.........camera phones!!! lol

The session started with me watching him masturbate. He follows my direction....."circle your head with your finger......now rub your shaft up and down,....mmmmm...faster.....faster....put some lotion on to lube that baby up...oh yeah!! now that is hot!!"

Now I enjoy watching him go from a small penis to a large engorged specimen....I love the fact that because he was thinking of me....it made him so hot. And of course, the fact that I could cause him to cum.

But the other night, I was horny. Yes, I can cum playing with myself and watching him BUT I decided I needed to really cum. We all know how sexually frustrated I have been lately. I needed to feel like I had just gotten fucked so hard....pure lust...I wanted to have a major orgasm. So, I decided to turn the tables. "Make me cum. You direct me."

And so he did. "Take your panties off!" For some reason, I wanted to follow his every command.....he was in control...I was just being the submissive one....and so I did. I removed my panties and sat on my chair with my legs around the arms. He started off slow...."take your shirt off too". And so I did...sitting in my office with nothing on. We started with my nipples....he wanted me to do circles on them and suck them...(which I can do!)...Aaahh!! but how would he know if they were hard?? He wanted a pix of my erect nipples.

I hesitated. I don't send pix.....ever. But I was so wet and pushing my limits,....I decided to do it. And so I did. He was amazed at how erect my nipples were. He said they were so suckable.....he wanted a profile...I guess they are pretty erect and big...they get real pointy on top...hmmm...he kept going on and on just how hot they were.

Next we moved down my body, damn he was taking too long to get to my clit. The juices were already flowing, I needed a release. Please...I thought, let me play with my clit. I need to release the pressure... And so he instructed me to squeeze my clit. Then do circles, then flick it. Now use my juices to wetten the clit. I had so much juices flowing...I couldn't take it. As you know, I get really ,really wet. I don't know if all girls do but it is soaked.

Put your finger inside of you! And so I did. Take a pix of your finger for me. Oh my.....now this was also a little passed my normal limits. But I did it...I took a pix of my wet finger, dripping with my juices for him. this pix showed the glistening, showed the wetness...I was a little embarrassed on how wet I was but way too horny to care..I sent the pix. He couldn't believe how wet I was.....(LOL)

So now, he walked me through it until I did cum. Telling me to insert my fingers deeper, moving them faster while rubbing and circling my clit. I felt like I was going to explode....my mind was somewhere else....my body somewhere else....and then came the rush............the orgasmic rush to fufill my head and make my legs, my clit and my walls shutter.

Damn, I felt relieved, I felt good. I felt a little dirty but in a good way.

Now Curious George has seen a pix of me before but it was a small and brief pix that I made him get rid of (which he obviously had). So after our little session, I had promised to snap a pix of me sitting at my computer. Now, I had no makeup on and I personally thought I looked like crap.

But he was the sweetest thing. He just kept raving how beautiful I was. How he couldn't believe it, how I was out of his league. Made me giggle and made me feel really good. Funny, for someone who has been told that I am beautiful and pretty...first, I don't know how to take a compliment (but it does feel good to hear them) and second, it's amazing that my self esteem is so low. I don't know why. We'll save that for my next post.

Anyway, in conclusion.....yes, I like to be in a submissive role. This webcam session, my desire for handcuffs, blindfolds...all the fact that I want a man to be in charge. I have to trust them...but I want them to take me and do as they please. So next step? CG and I may meet in the city real soon at a hotel. Hmmm....wonder what fun that will hold!!!

7 Kinds Of Sex-- Oh MY!!!!

A recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.(mmmm...my favorite!)

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!!

Okay are you laughing?!?!? I had to post this. My best friend just sent it to me, hot off the presses!!!

A definite Secret Lover and Plan for an Escape

Today was a wonderful day where I just hung with the kids. I didn't want anything....just wanted to relax and not do anything.

I spent the day with another family. It's a long story on how I know them but I am really friends with their children. She's 50 years old and overworked and tired. We have alot in common..men who don't work that much and we are the responsible one with the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Today, we were sitting there drinking a glass of wine and she started telling me how she was starting to sell off property that they owned. SHE was planning her escape. No doubt, indirectly she told me that if she sold off the property she would be able to afford to take care of one house and let him deal with the business that she slaved with. She didn't come right out and say it (well she did say I don't care what he does) but it was in her eyes. Funny how we see things differently when we are in the situation AND that I am living a double life.

She did mention that she sends him to get something....and it takes him hours. He will go on trips during the day to get some supplies and not return for a long time. Hmmmmm.....sounds to me like there may be a secret lover in the equation. I told myself I was jumping to conclusions. But I am usually very good on intuition. MY friends have said that I am a witch. And lately, I have been able to pick out a lot of men who are having affairs in the neighborhood. My friends think I am a mind reader (well it takes one to know one I always think).

Anyway, her husband walks into the room. With one look at him....I know 99% the man is having an affair. The unexplained hours of being absent AND he all of a sudden started to die his hair black.....oh yes, he started to workout and lost all this weight. With one look at him....it was confirmed. He's cheating.

It's so sad that so many of us are not happy and living together for the wrong reasons. Whether its because of the kids or financial reasons we stay together...it sucks. Marriage should be about love, fulfillment and friendship.

And I learned something else today reading the newspaper. Did you know that New York is the only state left that you have to prove abuse or neglect to get a divorce? A woman went as far as to switch her husband's Viagra pills so that his drive would be gone--hence the one year abandonment clause. She lost in court and they won't give her a divorce. She said she'd rather die than stay married to him. Wow!! That is sick!! To have to go to such extremes and not be allowed to divorce your spouse.

So how was your weekend?? OXXOXOXOXOXOX
Sweet Dreams!!!!!!!!!!!! My bed is calling me early tonight~~

Happy Mother's Day and What is up with all these Married Men?!?

First, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I love Betty Boop!!! She has so much glitz and so much sexuality!! She is just so cute. Well, I am wiped. I worked over 58 hours this week. I can hardly even write. My mind is like moosh!!

But I did want to say hi! I miss you all. I feel so disconnected but I do check your comments.

I have been thinking about your comments all week. How pathetic is it that I meet these men and things just don't move forward?? Now, you would think I was a dog. I can honestly say (and not being conceited) that I always get the reaction like "Wow! You're beautiful". And I am not a dumb blonde, I have a good personality....so what the hell is this about?!? Okay, we all know that I can be overwhelming at times..I do admit it. That's my personality...I'm intense...but that's about everything. When I like something...I believe in giving my all. Possibly is that too much for these guys? Yet, I choose very strong men (or so I have thought) so why can't they handle my passion for life??

Mr. Heart is another one that is just too busy. He wants me but doesn't know when he is going to have the time. Mr. Backgammon is gone. My choice actually. I knew he was controlling but he got made when I said that I wanted to finish some work. Poor #!%# baby. I don't have the patience for that. So, I am really starting all over again. A clean slate. Oh yes, Mr, Government. Hmmmm....you are so cute, let's meet for coffee. He must have meant in the year 2007. the only one I will take some responsibility is Chris. Now that I am so busy, I can see how I drove him crazy. We aren't really even communicating anymore. It makes me sad, very sad. Ever miss someone even when you do talk to them? That was our last few conversations. They were so distant....he has chosen to totally push me out of his life.

So tell me what is with these guys?? Do you go to Ashley MAdison just to meet someone just to see if they could meet someone. I don't buy the Bullshit..I like you too much. I feel guilty because it felt too good. So what is it?!!?!?!? Sigh.....

Well Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies out there!! And Gentleman....do something nice for your wife. I asked again for what I have been asking for now for 16 years.....a clean house. And for the hundredth time I've been told.....we bought you something instead!! I swear all I want it an organized house.....(okay and a good lay from a hot man and a million dollars, and a massage while being blind folded--but that's a whole other subject).

Which reminds me, I owe you the hot webcam episode. Tomorrow, I will hopefully not be as tired....tonight, if I tell it....I will be way too horny and toss and turn all night...not a good idea!

So Sweet Wet Dreams and tons of kisses!!!!!!

go to my room

Hee!! Hee!! Can you say a crappy day at work??? Yup! My first day of being under the gun....blah. So, I can't wait to share with you my webcam night last night with Curious George,.....it was HOT!! I admit it, I was selfish. Very selfish....hence, I enjoyed it more than any other session we have had. He directed me on what to do...I shared some explicit pix....I definitely pushed the limit for me..okay, I would love to tell you more tonight BUT...I have to be up at 6AM for an important meeting that I just finished preparing for. I miss you guys when I get wrapped up in work...Do you miss me?!?!?!?

I promise, tomorrow....a hot rundown of my rendezvous. I can honestly say, I was fulfilled...a bizarre thought since I am such a touchy person. Body to body is the only way to go...........or is it?!?

The Penis as Art

I think I've mentioned it before, but lately I have seen the penis as being a piece of art. Each one is so unique, each one with its own features, each one inviting me in for a different reason.

Now that I am older (slightly over my teen years--lol)....I have a better appreciation for a man's penis. I am intrigued how unique each one is. It's like a face--each of us look different..each man's penis looks different.

I have to admit..this is a whole new revelation for me. Maybe the addition of webcamming into my life, it has given me the opportunity to truly examine the assets of each penis. I do find webcamming a tease though. I am so much more of a touch person....I can feel my mouth watering for a desire to suck and touch the penis on the screen. Nothing is like one on one, body to body.....now that thought is yummy!

And another revelation I have discovered.....I truly enjoy giving a blow job now. Sadly, not to my husband. But I do love placing my mouth over a man's cock and swallowing him whole. It's so exciting to have him grow harder inside my mouth. It's so exciting to lick his cock like a lollipop and then suck it till the juices flow. 10 years ago, that thought would have grossed me out. Today, it makes my nipples hard and tingle and it makes me really wet. Funny how maturity can change me!!

I'm also having fun with my new blow job technique. It gives me personal satisfaction to see that every man lets out a moan with each lip lick (if you haven't listened to my podcast--you should--details are on it--I think Rendezouvs Radio episode 2 or 3).

And I know now, its also a control thing. I have come to the conclusion that I thrive on powerful men. I just feel more comfortable with them. Their intiative, their drive for success, their cockiness and assurance that they know what they are doing. IT makes me hot. Of course with that is usually a self centered individual who is a Republican and thinks only of himself (hee.hee)

So I went looking for Penis Art. Yes, I wanted to find someone who can capture the penis in a form of art. On canvas, on sculpture, whatever it may be. The details--and I found an artist who specializes in Penis Art - Cooper Hanson. He certainly knows how to bring the penis to canvas...he must be gay. I say that because he has a definite love of the penis. IT shows in his work (I don't care if he's gay--but he seems to capture my visual and I think only someone who is into the penis and sees its qualities can capture that).

So now I want to find a woman Penis Artist--In search of the Woman Penis Artist!! DO you know any? Can you imagine if I start bringing home penis pix. Now I have some interesting artwork around the house---I am into art and original works..People always comment on my selections--this, I don't think would get such rave reviews though...

Okay, I must stop discussing penis'for awhile. I have to get laid. It's been way too long. I need a plain old fashion, intense sex session. Raw and Hot!! That's it. No commitment, no discussion.... actually what I have been daydreaming about is an Anger Sex Session. you know when you are so angry with someone, so frustrated...there are no words to be said-- you just want to screw their brains out. Intense pulsating, hard and hot thrusting........to the point where you think you can't take another minute. Sweat pouring!! You've had enough of the person--they are driving you crazy but you are still attracted to them...you want to just fuck them. Fuck them so that the inner frustration can go away. It would probably be the hottest sex I've ever had. Meet them at the door and you just walk in and push them against the wall. Stand there and just rip their shirt off, then undo their pants and just start blowing them wildly..........no words.......some anger and frustration and even some hate!! Now that is hot!! I can think of two people who would be at the top of my list for this encounter....

Okay, I must go back to my real world now....sigh...a day of cleaning and dreaming that someone would just sneak up behind me as I am dusting and start fucking me from behind...

Sweet Wet Dreams Everybody!!!

Okay, this just looks damn painful and a bizarre idea of art. What the hell is in this guys penis?!?!/! Are those string beans??? Is this the male representation of cucumbers?? Have you ever tried this? I admit to a cucumber...I admit to a carrot and I contemplated a banana...but how many guys would admit to some string beans!!

Playing on the Computer!!!

Okay, I have a great post......an excellent, juicy webcam night with Curious George...but I am too tired and I am looking for cool blinkyou.com How much fun is this............I will give you juicy details tomorrow....SWEET WET DREAMS!!!!!!!

A Hot Exchange of Glances

Well I do love my job. Isn't it funny, when you are sometimes least in the mood...something happens that gives your heart a little lift.

First, Mr. Heart. We have been talking back and forth. It's really nice BUT I don't feel the sparks, the sexuality....we have a lot in common but maybe too much. We can talk for hours about so many different things...and never about sex. Hmmm...seems like this is taking the wrong path or maybe its a healthier relationship.

My problem, I have always gone for such Type A personalities. I married my husband because he was different--not the usual I had gone out with. So wouldn't you know it...its what I miss. I miss a difficult take charge cocky Republican. Oh yes, that is my track record so far. I think that I am looking for that now....someone who will take charge of this rendezvous. Someone who will take me in his arms and I will feel so protected from the world. A take charge type of guy...believe it or not--I don't think Mr. Heart is that type of guy. And to top it off, I don't think he listens (or cares) about me. We spend a lot of time talking about him.

And then there is Mr. OBGYN!! Here is a man who would treat me like gold. A man who would probably give me whatever I wanted in this world. But, he's a wuss. He's so lonely that he is begging me to give him a chance. He writes that he needs me. Why do I always get stuck with the needy?!? For a second, I thought about meeting him but I decided this secret lover thing should be about ME!! What makes me feel good. No pity fucks. IT should be mutually attracted....I can't do it.

So back to today. I was doing my usual doctor thing. Most are so nice and so sweet BUT 20 years older than me. I do not like to mix business with pleasure anyway but hey I would love some eye candy. So my last meeting today was with a doc I never met. He has so much experience that I thought he was much older. He shows up to our meeting in scrubs and he is probably 40. He was adorable and had a baby face. I was a little taken back but immediately caught my composure. Remained professional, as did he. There was no sign in his face or eyes that he even realized that I was a woman. Actually, it was a little disturbing that it was so professional. Most of the docs flirt, smile, interact....he was 100% business.

I got up feeling good about our meeting but a little strange. I don't think I have ever had such a flirtless conversation in my life. I love to flirt and be friendly. With him it was total business. Oh well, I said. The meeting went extremely well and that is what is important. I turned around to watch him walk away AND he was looking at me. Checking me out. I caught his eye and he blushed and smiled and walked into the elevator. Damn, I felt a million times better. Whew!! I haven't totally lost it. At least the cutie took a look. Even gay guys flirt with me more than he did. So, I felt my heart jump and I knew it was alive. He was even more adorable when he blushed.

So now the whole way home, I thought about that blush and his little boy eyes moving to the floor with a smirk. Funny what a little smirk and look can do to make your day. Here's to flirting!!!!!!

No Desire For My Husband

Wow! It's been days since I blogged. I missed it...my blog was calling me. Things have just been so hectic and I am just so tired.

Sadly, I have been thinking about this a lot. It was triggered by something a friend said to me. More than anything, I wish I wanted my husband. Have fabulous would it be if I was attracted to him and wanted him? How sad is it that I don't. All weekend, he was pawwing at me. And, things have gotten so bad....I am truly repulsed at the idea of being with him. My heart aches from that comment. I guess it used to be if I was wasted, I wanted to be with him. Now, I don't even when I am plastered.

It used to be that I could fantasize about being with someone else. I cannot even do that anymore. I just do not want to be with him. So you say, divorce is the answer. Well, it would be if I could handle the kids, a job and financially keep the house. But, that is not an option. I couldn't do it alone.....so here I will have to stay.

I guess I am depressed about that. Funny, how you strive for so much and then when things get rocky......it's so hard to keep the life you have gotten accustomed too. It doesn't help that he is STILL not working. That he doesn't do shit around this house and that I come home to a disaster. I can find myself spiraling down.

And the dreams.......they are getting more and more intense and vivid. Last night, I had a dream that Chris and I were fuckng each others brains out. It was anger sex. It was intense.....I could feel him inside of me. I could feel us ripping each others clothes off. The sex was filled of frustration and anger and it was so damn hot. He was thrusting so hard inside of me. There was even hair pulling and biting in there. It was as if all the anger we felt in life was focused in on this one hot session of sex. I woke up laughing. Where did that come from? I haven't thought about me and Chris in a real long time. Probably that we have been surface communicating a little.

Okay, we are sooooooo distant. And he was a little annoyed at my fairwell on my podcast. But I guess its a start. Who knows if our friendship will progress at all. Right now, we are barely even friends. So sad how that evolved but it has.

So, I guess.....I am very sad right now. Sad because you can't force love. You can't force respect and you can't force passion. No matter how badly I want my marriage to heal, to work, to be alive again---it is truly on life support right now. I recommended a marriage counselor again last night. I don't think he thinks there are any problems except the lack of sex. Hmmmm.....I bet he thinks that I have just become asexual. Now isn't that something to laugh about.

Well I decided that I am going to go see a counselor alone. Eventually maybe then he will see I am serious. How could he not? It is so blatantly obvious that we are not on the same page.