Stress + A Lazy Day = Masturbation

Well I think I was trying to break a record today. Sadly, the hubby still has not returned my toys (I'm asking for them back tonight!) so it was manual labor for me. Lots of work for my hands. Can you develop Carpal Tunnel from masturbating too much?

I was home alone for most of the day today. Instead of cleaning (like I really had to do) I took a nap. Wild dreams were flying through my head. Dreams of me with two men, with a woman....I don't know what the hell I drank before I went to bed to encourage such erotic dreams. I was tied up through it though. People I didn't know were just entering the room and playing with me. Hmm....wonder what it all means. Anyway, I woke up so damn horny. Beyond belief.

So I began to play. Removing my undies, and rubbing my clit. IT felt so damn good. I love those circles with lost of pressure on the clit. Some of my own juices as lube and it felt amazing. First one finger inserted inside of me, then two....mmmm....stretching my walls, in search of that magic spot....the anticipation, the pressure building...it felt so damn amazing. My body sometimes craves an orgasm. Today was one of those days. I could feel the wave about to cum, starting to overcome my whole body and then....the pulsations and that wave of euphoria.

I wanted to see if I could create another one....even more intense than that one. so I worked at it again. Nothing like a lazy day with no one home. This time I pinched my nipples. Damn I needed another hand!! But its so amazing how there is a direct line from my nipples to my clit. How squeezing and twisting my nipples gives me sensations in my walls. The human body is truly amazing. Well this time took a little more work and a little more fantasizing. Fantasizing of the dark side a little. Fantasizing about a man standing there with a huge cock waiting to thrust me...mmmm....he had no definite face today. An escape from reality.....a mystery man.

I could feel my whole body tightening....and the orgasm totally shook my world. Mmmmm...sometimes you just don't need a man!!

Off to a bath....yummy. Relax and escape. I haven't escaped to my bath in sooo long. aahh!! Some bubbles, a glass of wine, some great music and a good book....my escape. If only I had a man to play with me in there...life would be perfect!! Sweet Wet Dreams!!

An Outlet For The Negativity

Aah!! A sunny day with a beautiful breeze can certainly change a girl's mood. And, a good nights sleep! Marathoner, you are so right. The negativity takes some much energy and can truly drain a person. I was feeling so vulnerable, so manipulated AND so sorry for myself!! Ever have a night like that?

Looking around I was so sad. So sad how much wasn't right. So sad how much I just felt hopeless about and couldn't fix. An extremely hard week of work where I felt I wasn't the star this week. I hate when my life seems to run me and I don't run my life. Dysfunction seemed to be everywhere.

A man from one of the online sites that has been heavily pursuing me for a few months, caught me online last night. He's so funny. He's so complimentary and can make a girl feel good. Body wise--he has an amazing body. He's funny, he's sweet and a really nice guy. A romantic connection though is not in the cards. I just don't feel it. Flattered that he likes me, flattered that he heavily pursues me BUT he is great friend material.

Last night, we IM'd for awhile. Then at 1AM he called me... I felt bad because the conversation was certainly not what he probably had wanted from me. I got him to talk about the women he's met on the site. And we just chatted about that for an hour. At the end, he said. You are an amazing lady. Funny, smart, sexy and a personality that shines - and you've let me down in such a lady like way that I like you even more.(I did turn it to a total friendship connection).

It was then I realized that I am content right now. A lot going on with family, work and getting my life on track. I am enjoying my connection with Mr. Prize a lot. It's definitely not as physical as we would like (we would probably be screwing a couple of times a week if he lived closer!) but he stimulates me in other ways as well. It's good when a guy can make you horny on the phone. It's good when a guy calls you honey and it makes you smile inside. It definitely feels good.

Today, and I think for a little bit (I'm not into the pursuit). I'm not into looking for something more--I'm happy and content right now. Mr. Prize is very funny. He claims it doesn't bother him the way I am. I (as you know) would drive myself crazy. A FLIRT!! Such a flirt. I love men!! I love flirting with men. I love looking at the profiles, their pix....I can't help it. I am a curious one.

This week I got an email from a true boy toy! 30 years old. A body to die for and such a great face! I was flattered by his sweet words. Not sure if he reads me or listens to my podcast but he was adorable. But 30?? I felt so old. 30-40 was such an eternity in my life. All my major life revelations occurred during that time. I felt like I aged 100 years during that time. Do you have a time in your life that you felt like that? I guess we all do.

So that's it....I'm BACK!! The negativity seemed to be almost gone when I woke up today. Come on!! We all need a little depressing drama in our life once in awhile. And MArathoner, Thanks Baby!! You are 100% right...the negativity takes so much energy and I hate when I am like that.

So here's to a great day!!!! Woo Hoo!!! Gonna go put on a little apron, with my feather duster and dust the house. In my high heels of course!! no underwear!! A little french maid outfit!! Actually if I had a hubby I loved---damn I would love to do shit like that. How hot is that? My breasts sticking out...my nipples exposed for sucking.....and playing the little french maid. Oh well!

Good Friends Until We Stop Screwing!

In my life, there is only one person that I have left on bad terms. That's it. I have always had an amicable closure with all my boyfriends (except for the guy I was going to marry before my husband--he turned out to be a pedophile and worse, he was molesting his own daughters!!) I may have drifted from some friendships from my childhood--but I never left on a bad note.

Actually, I have friends for years. My closest childhood friend since I am 7. I will still speak occasionally to other childhood friends, past boyfriends etc. My point?? If I like someone, its usually for life. HOWEVER.....

with this affair thing--its not like that. There is no respect, there is no common courtesy--its a ME game.

"We owe each other nothing" those were Mr.Governments words of anger towards me at the end. Your right, I answered..we owe each other nothing...but we should just demonstrate common courtesy towards each other".

His final words-- "I never meant to be mean to you nor would I ever hurt you".
My final words- "Is this good by?" He did not answer. That was his final words.

Talking to Mr. Prize about it, I was disgusted how I had felt like I needed ammunition. I had felt great that I knew where he now lived. Reality is, it doesn't matter where he lives. I would never do anything to him or jeopardize either one of our families. I guess I didn't realize it but I was feeling vulnerable..feeling he had one up on me. And then when I found out where he lives, to realize that he had seen me. I totally deflated. There was no equal ground with this man. Somehow he always had the upper hand.

You all probably have guessed by now. I drove by his house today. I needed to see how close he was for sure, not just on mapquest. I could not believe how he could almost see me sitting on that bench from his window. As I was sitting at the park, another car pulled up. A woman got out of her car and was standing by the water with me a few feet away. "I'm so nervous, I can't wait to see him. Remember, I'm with you, we are having lunch. " And then a guy pulls up. She jumps in his car, they look around and savagely attack each other. Aaahh!! A secret lover rendezvous. Is that what I have looked like in the past? Is it that obvious to others around or do I just know the signs (and the call she made helped).

I am really sad tonight. I think its a combination of things. Not seeing Mr. Prize this week and not knowing when we will be able to hook up. Not for a lack of wanting but real life seems to be working against us.

And all this shit with Mr. Government. There was something that really hit me hard and I was so surprised. I've mentioned it before how I love the water. I love speed boats and just jumping in one and traveling to lunch miles away. In fact, my first ex fiance, had two boats and I used to joke that I thought leaving the boats and our house on the water behind was just as hard as our breakup. When I was looking for a house, we chose a bigger house off the water than one close and on it. I decided to sacrifice my dream of being on the water for a larger home.

So when I drove up to Mr. Governments house....my heart sank. Docked in his backyard was a huge boat, a speed boat with a sleeper cabin. He loved the water and much as I did. He knew how I loved the water but never wanted me to know that he lived on it. Our last meeting, we had spoken about boating (I had just been on a friends boat). I went on and on how much I loved the water, the breeze rushing through your hair as you just cruised. He just held me and asked questions to get me to talk more about my love for the water. He knew the story about my ex and how we lived on the water. How his parents were going to give us the house as a wedding present and they were moving to Florida. Interesting. I can't help but think he loved and enjoyed every secret that he kept from me. I don't get it.

I have to learn this is a game. A sex game. There are no true connections, they last only as long as you fuck. Kind of sad. I would have liked to be friends with my past lovers. We enjoyed each other, we made each other feel good, what's wrong with keeping in touch once in awhile as friends to say hi? I guess I have to learn the rules. And my horoscope for today.

"There is no way to change the past. you need to learn how to live with it". I guess that says it all huh? Crazy friend and I are going to see a psychic the middle of October. She had seen her before and the woman was right on. Scarily, right on. I am nervous to go...can you imagine what she will say about me?!?!

And on a possible brighter side of things...the hubby may have found a job. Not the job he wanted (or the pay you would think after so many damn months of looking) but something is better than nothing. When he gets the official call, then I will be a little happier. It might relieve some of the stress around here...which has gotten to almost unbearable levels. I think the man has really lost his marbles. His family called me (which they never do) to see if my perspective on life was normal. His has gotten quite warped. I assured them that I was normal--looking after my kids and taking care of the essentials in life. I warned them--if he didn't shape up in two months, he was out. His sister remarked--I don't know how you are staying with him. I don't even know my brother anymore. A sad remark but so true. Who is this man that I lay next to night after night? He's not the man I married. We've drifted so far apart. I don't think we will ever find our way back. But I do hope we can find some common ground--just to make it bearable.

And now the scary part. Originally, I joked that until he found a job there was no sex. So you can see how long it has been since I have slept with him. Will he expect sex next week?

Sorry for the downer post. It's actually been awhile since I felt so sad without having a real good reason. Here's to a better day tomorrow!!

THE BASTARD WAS WATCHING ME AND MR. FIREMAN!!

Today was a very bizarre day. Ever have a day where so many questions are answered and things that didn't make sense now all fit together like a puzzle? Today I could feel a chill go down my spin...here's what happened.

Went to lunch with my girlfriend. She knows everything...she is the one who is also in a situation. Anyway, we sat there talking about life and how the hell we are going to be happy. Trying to plan our futures...and decided to just laugh at our situations. So misery loves company as they say. However, the two of us together are dangerous. Wild, crazy and no boundaries. A totally scary combination.

As we are talking, Mr. Government came up. Now we all know that I can't stand secrecy. If you are being secret, I have to know. It's more of the fact that you are hiding something and the challenge to find out what it is. So awhile back, when Mr Government and I were going tit for tat...I was trying to find if an address I had was his real home address. I would never do anything but I just wanted to know. Remember, he has access to things I don't have access to and he could know whatever he really wanted to know about me. So I really felt at a huge disadvantage here. At one point, he told me what cars I had...kind of like...you know I can get whatever info I want. Feeling vulnerable, all I had was an address which he told me was an old address but never would even tell me what town he now lived in. STUPID! You know I am going to now have to know.

"Did you ever find out?" my girlfriend asked. "No, we started fighting and it was over and I got busy. Since I travel all over the place, I wish I would just know for sure which area he now lives in. Kind of a pre-warned is pre-armed theory. At least if I am in the area, I know I might run into him. I would hate to be surprised and caught off guard". I responded.

"Well let's find out". She called a friend where she used to work and asked him to do a search. She cracks me up. She tells him "look, my friend here needs to know where he is, you don't want details--just get me the info". I gave him what I knew and 15 minutes later the phone rang. The guy had all the info--

He did sell the house that I had the address for and now lives in another town. Okay, now here's where it gets real crazy.

Remember Fireman? Remember how bizarre it was that he was so into me and we had plans to meet and all of a sudden...he disappeared. Disappeared from Ashley too. He was really into me and POOF! It was the most bizarre thing (look at my August 2-7, 2006 posts for the story).

If you remember, we met at a park. Turns out that park was..... a block away from Mr. Government's house. How sick is that?? Now where our cars were parked....he would have to pass my car to get out of his development. Remember how I said.... he texted messaged me when I went to kiss Mr. Fireman. And how weird it was, as if he was watching me!!!!!!!! I THINK HE WAS!!!!

My car is very distinctive in color....bright red. Not a lot of them on the road. So he probably saw my car parked there. Its 4 spots and you park so the license plate is easy to read. He must have passed and saw my car. Looked a few feet down and saw me sitting on a bench by the water about to kiss this guy. What was the chance?? There are thousands of parks...and this is the one that I pick. the coincidence is really scary.

Now the only thing left to the puzzle is Mr. Fireman. His surprisingly abrupt exit I am now thinking may have to do with Mr. Government. Can't prove it and really would be shocked if he would do such a thing BUT we were the only two cars parked there.....he easily could have gotten his license plate and found out his name and where he worked etc. etc. One phone call would have spooked him enough to disappear like that. Pack up on Ashley too and disappear. I always felt something spooked him but I thought his wife found something or at work they found the website he was on. But this really makes so much sense!! IF Mr. Government just called him and mentioned a meeting with me in this town. This guy was nervous already and this would have shook him for life.

So now I am sitting here....shocked. I have never sat at that park before this day. I chose it because it was near the Starbucks that I chose to meet at. Down the block from MR. Government. He had to have seen me. The text was just too perfectly timed. The bastard must have seen my face as it came through and watched my expression as I read it. He certainly got a personal satisfaction out of ruining that kiss. I am so furious knowing that he was watching this whole thing. And scarily, I told you!! I told you that he had to have seen me. It was timed way to perfectly. Poor Mr. Fireman. He was so nervous and now he must have been really, really freaked out if it went down as I think it did.

I still cannot believe I picked the park that is literally at the end of his block. That I was sitting in plain site for him to pass by and see me. I might as well have just knocked on his door and sat in his livingroom. Geez,,, only me. Why do these bizarre things always happen to me??

"Condom Key Needed!"

Tonight I had to make a run to the drugstore when I am standing in the aisle and the shelves of condoms caught my eye. I sat there and started to laugh hysterical. Tears started to roll down my face. People in the store had to think I was losing it but let me explain.

When I was meeting Mr. Prize, I got to the area before he did. I had decided to stop in the drugstore to pick up a few things I needed (and fill my time because I was so nervous). I called him to see if he needed anything. He said he would meet me there because he needed to pick up condoms. I was in the store already and didn't want to waste time...I'll pick them up I said.

Where I live, the condoms are freely displayed on a shelf. In this store, they were locked behind in a counter shelf. So which do I choose? Frankly, I know nothing about condoms. Oh I use them ALWAYS but I never gave them much attention. And here, I could only look at the box to make my selection. Ribbed, sensitive, lubbed (I don't need lubbed--I get extra wet). So what do you choose?

Damn, I had to go to the Pharmacy area and ask them to unlock the shelf so I could get to the condoms. It was hard enough to ask, expecially with a line of people behind me but I did it. Quietly I whispered..is it possible to get a box of condoms? The woman answered...no problem, one second.

Now she gets on the damn loud speaker and screams..."I need the condom case key. Please bring the condom case key to the pharmacy". I almost DIED. I wanted to crawl under a rock. Nothing like a little discretion in this world. Now the entire pharmacy line knew what I wanted.

Of course, the young pimply kid they gave the key to was probably in the back jerking off because they had to make the announcement three more times. At this point, I wanted to jump on the counter and scream...."YES!! IT'S ME!! I WANT DAMN CONDOMS!! I AM PROUD! I AM PROUD THAT I AM BEING RESPONSIBLE BEFORE FUCKING"

So finally the young kid shows up.....red, mortified and giggling inside--I had called my girlfriend. Which damn box do I choose? She's laughing so hard she couldn't even answer. Under pressure, I chose the ribbed ones (not sure what I was in for so I figured an extra ribbin can't hurt)! I felt this kid was staring at me (I couldn't even check if the kid had any reaction on his face)--probably ew!! she's over 25 and doing it!!

So that was my story that came rushing back to me tonight as I looked at the shelf filled with condoms. I felt like I had AFFAIR written on my head.

But I do wonder, is there any condom better than another? Sensitive, ribbed, lubed, the LOVE brand, the flavored brand. Just curious......I didn't know if there was one that was better than the rest.

Have a great day and I think we all should have at least one orgasm tomorrow!!

In The Butt?...Awesome!

Was it a full moon last night?? I don't know but I had a strange Secret Lovers Lane day and I was in a weird mood.

First Mr. Construction. A text message comes through. Rarily does my text go off anymore since Mr. Government is gone. So I look at it and its MR. Construction. "Been thinking about you. I am dying to fuck you in the ass!" Hmm....now if we had been in contact the last two weeks or met I might have found that to be a funny text message and even quite erotic. HOWEVER....

you know how I flip when I feel I am being totally disrespected. I am in a miserable marriage and want to experiment...want to feel good. I AM NOT A FUCKING WHORE!! And if I was, I would be a high priced one at that (take note, possible career change). Anyway, I was kind of annoyed that he sent that. I actually haven't heard from him in awhile (only noticed when Mr. Prize asked me actually). So here were my two text messages back:

"Hey. Listen, I thought you were cute, funny and we had a lot in common BUT I am not into head games. I wish you the best of luck finding your THE..I'm obviously not her" Take Care

Second message:
"BTW, thanks so much for making me so curious about anal sex. I met someone else, he fucked me so hard in the ass....and it was awesome. I can't wait to do it again with him. Thanks again for getting me curious about it!!"

So I'd like to point this out to guys (and I'm sure some girls too who are guilty)... an affair, a relationship, a friendship is always two sided. It's not only about when you are horny and when you want to get laid...you gotta remember that there is someone else who may need ya on a day when you are not horny. We all may not get horny on the same day. So I guess my words of wisdom for today are to think about the other person as well as yourself. It's not all about your hard cock (although that thought is quite appealing) it's about the other person's wetness as well!!

Tomorrow I'll tell ya about Mr. Heart (he's a winner--lol). Talk about someone looking at life through rose colored glasses or really some funky colored glasses!!

Sweet Wet Dreams!!

A Secret To The Ashley Madison Personals

Good morning!! Gotta run today..forgot about a big meeting I have this morning so I am running like a chicken without a head.

But Marathoner pointed something out to me....how do I know when Mr. Prize checks on even when his profile is off? Well I found out by accident but if you put someone on your favorites list then you can see when they check on even if their profile is in the dark.

Another thing I found out (which is actually a better information) is if someone on your favorites changes their name (it automatically changes on your favorites). An example is that stalker I had a while back--has changed his ID about three times. As if to give him a new start and re-contact all the woman again. In his case, when he re-contacted me--I knew not to answer.

And yes, I am guilty of going to Ashley Madison too!! You know me, I am a flirt. I love to flirt with men. And while I have not initiated any new conversations (because that is not what I want right now) I do LOVE reading the profiles. I love to see what people are into. I love to see what their fantasies are....I love to see if there is a man who writes something unique.

Now that is why I told Mr. Prize, to turn it back on. I am being a PITA..I just have to learn to deal with my own insecurities. Now here's something amazing....he truly makes me feel less secure. Instead of jumping on me about it, he understands it and he tries to make me feel better about them (and I actually do). So once again Mr. Prize gets points!!! He's really a great guy!

Unfortunately, all my creative planning this week is null and void. He can't make it on Thursday, a meeting came up. Thankfully, I didn't put the plan into motion and said I was going to be out that night. Can't waste a great creative excuse!! Have a great day!!

Heard from Mr. Heart and Mr. Construction yesterday......will write later. Way too long to get into now....

Have a great day!! KISSES!!! LOTS OF KISSES!!!

Double Edged Sword

As you know, I find my affairs on the extramarital affairs sites. Searching for Mr. Married Prince Charming. What I 've been finding is that the site is a double edged sword for me.

I actively am on Ashley Madison. It's an amazing place to meet someone. Think about the concept, the question of whether this person is wanting to have an affair is already answered. Your both on equal ground, no concern that the person is going to rat you out. You don't have to worried about being discovered at work having an affair. And you list everything you want...its like going shopping for a man (I've also been on Philanderers, also a great place...I still dabble there).

I love reading the men's descriptions. I am a people person. I love to see what people are looking for, what turns them on etc. etc. So I am there at least once a day if not more. I can't help but look to see what is in my mailbox. Always 6-8 men a day at least. Like now, I am not actively ansering them, waiting to see how things go with Mr. Prize (Although he claims he is okay with me answering them).

So there is where we are different. I am so damn insecure. Last night I saw he was on there and his profile was back up. I encouraged it. Mine is up there, he should also have that option. However, i am honest. I can't deal with it. And it is pissing me off. Not at him, I guess I am angry with myself. Why am I so damn insecure? this was a huge issue with me and Mr. Government. Now I am heading down that same damn road again. It's not them, its me.

I feel like I wasn't enough for them. That I am filler until they continue to look for something better. Now, Mr. Prize is a true gentleman and so sweet. He shut it off today. He felt it was getting in between us and he said it wasn't important to him. So he shut it off. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Although I laugh because I think he is as addicted as I am--he still has searched and checked even after his profile was off. Turhfully, I am so mad at myself. Why am I such a baby? Okay, i am a PITA...I like the attention. I feeling like a princess not like the runner up prize.

"So when are we going to fuck next week?" He knew that would make me laugh and it did. A man who can tolerate my insecurities?? Wow this one is special. Still having problems with the different state thing though. I guess the police escort scared me. you see, if something goes wrong, I have no damn reason to be there. None. I have no excuse, no explanation, nothing!! I am basically busted. So I am thinking...gotta come up with something good. Something real good. It's time to get creative!

Okay its the beginning of a new week. Woo Hoo I have high hopes for this one!!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous - Part 3

Mr. Prize has had many affairs. I guess when you are experimenting with orgies the numbers can rack up pretty fast. Our life expectancy would be about December 18th at the rate he has gone. Now there are ups and downs to that. The down--he has had many affairs (I know I have repeated myself--its not a typo). I found myself different with him. I was the student, he was the teacher. Where in my situations before--we were either on equal ground or I was the aggressive one. Here I was the follower and he was the leader.

I had nothing to teach him. I'm sure he has experienced it all before. So, I allowed him to take the leading role. Something unique for me, but enjoyable none the less.

He took my hand a led me off the bed. We were now standing on kissing. Slowly he lowered me to my knees and he pushed my head to his cock. Quite the submissive role. He was in charge and I was following his lead. He thrusted his cock deeper and deeper into my mouth as he stood and I knelt. His hand held my head steady to get the right angle and right penetration. It was quite the submissive role, I could feel my vulnerability. Yet, I did enjoy it. So nice for someone to be in control for a change. Aah!! I had always thought I would enjoy being in a submissive position and yes..I did.

We returned to the bed and it was my turn now. Yes, my favorite position...from behind! He angled me perfectly and deeply went inside of me. I could feel him hitting just the right spot for my body to react. It was nice, it was intense...it was my favorite thing in the world!! Thrusting faster and faster, deeper and deeper....and he started to spank me. Not hard, but just enough to make me feel the sensation. It was hot. I haven't been spanked in many a years.

He slowly pulled me toward the end of the bed. He was standing and I was in a perfect position. He was toying with my ass. And then he inserted....relax, was all I could remember saying in my head..and so I did. The sensation of him in my ass was amazing. It was like enhanced sex..not painful like I had imagined, in fact, it was quite erotic. To my surprise, he went in with no problem and except for the increased in the orgasm, I was kind of surprised at how it felt so great. So much so that I kept asking him if he had been in my ass.

Well I am sure, I love anal sex! From that angle it didn't hurt but with each thrust I could feel myself increasing in desire. Yes, i can see anal sex is now on my list of things to do on a regular basis.

He went back to fucking me from behind on the bed and we both orgasmed at the same time. It was amazing. We hung out, we talked, we had a good time. What a strange feeling to be so close to a stranger. Have such a connection with a stranger.

Will we have a rendezvous again?? Actually I don't know. The distance is tough but reality is...I don't think I am enough for him. Here is a man who has experienced so much and so many woman in life. It was a phenomenal, phenomenal experience which I wouldn't trade for anything AND I enjoy talking with him. He mentally stimulates me as well. But I am looking for someone who is into me. Someone who wants a one to one affair that we both can enjoy each other. Mr. Prize loves sex, he loves woman and he loves experimenting.

So who knows.....time will tell. But if it doesn't work out, hey, I accomplished a couple of things on my Wish List all in one night!!

Free Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee Today WooHoo!!

I love iced coffee. you know how I am addicted to the McD's Iced coffees. Well I don't know how many blow jobs a dunkin donuts iced coffee is BUT tomorrow you can get a free iced coffee.

Just go to the Yahoo Home Page - www.yahoo.com and click on the Dunkin Donuts Ad. Only thing, you have to have a yahoo account (well they are free so sign up baby)!

And enjoy that smooth iced coffee.....

So, yes, two posts in less than an hour. Had to throw that in.

Tonight I am up late cooking. I have this pot...it was my grandmothers. Gotta tell ya, when ever I cook in this pot the food comes out extra special. Sounds strange but its as if her love is going into it too (yes, feel free to call and commit me). But before you do, listen to this.

I was cooking the same dish in two different pots (expecting a lot of people for dinner). So, I put the exact same ingredients in both, did the exact same thing--and I swear, the one in my grandma's pot tastes 200 times better. So explain that one.

Okay, off to bed. If you didn't notice, I did post #2!!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous Part 2

As I climaxed, I noticed Mr. Prize was watching me....enjoying the look on my face of total fulfillment. Enjoying watching my body contract...he was getting a thrill out of giving me such a thrill.

Now as a pleaser, it was strange to just lie there and allow someone to do all the work. Gotta tell you, it was a great feeling. Two orgasms back to back. One from him eating me out and the other from his fingers inside of me and in my ass. I decided, I was going to let him be in charge. Now he was the Pro here, I was just going to allow him to take my body to places its never been.

However, I needed to give a little. So I got up and knelt in front of him. Both of us on our knees, kissing intensely and then I worked my way down his body. It was my turn to please him now.
Slowly I licked the tip of his cock...yum. I wanted more so I took the whole thing in my mouth. Starting to swell, I decided to push him on the bed. Sucking his cock with idetermination to make that baby hard and stiff....using my hand to fondle his balls and the other to give the small part of his cock that didn't fit into my mouth a hand job. He loved it.

I love when a man moans (when it is truly a real moan). I love when a man lets you know what he likes. nothing is more pleasurable to a pleaser. I looked up to watch him watching me. A sweet smile and caring in those deep eyes. I felt like a little girl, and he was my teacher. Making him nice and hard, I worked my way back up his body "I want you inside of me" I whispered in his ear. He was more than happy to fulfill my request.

The condom is on and he is ready for entry. Yum!! this man knows how to pump and reach that special G spot inside. I could feel my body start to reach an orgasmic state. This man knew how to get me to the point of no return. Wanting to cum at the same time, I held out until he was ready....thrusting faster and faster...I could see in his face that he was ready...and we both came at the same time. Both of us letting out a cry...Yum. Exhausted we collapsed.

Now what is nice about having someone you can relate to is that now we just laid there and talked. Talked about what just happened (feeling comfortable enough to have an open and candid conversation). Talked about the day..he just held me in his arms as I played gently with his cock....kind of just a loving touch.

A little break...a little talk and now it was time for the next session....

What is the chance?!

The series has been pre-empted for a serious comment. I can't blog tonight. As some of you may remember, a few months ago, I had seen a man skid off of his motorcycle and die. I had almost hit him and was distraught to learn that he had actually died.

So what would be the chance that today, I would see a motorcyler riding on the road. He passes me and about 10 seconds later at the exit...I see his bike smashed around a tree. With him lying motionless thrown from the motorcycle. This time I didn't see the actual accident but it had occurred maybe 5 seconds before I got there.

Once again, I called 911. I had pulled over and the people behind me ran out of their car over to him. I pulled over to call 911 and stopped but I didn't run over. I am not a nurse, I am not a doctor...there was nothing I could do for this man but call 911. I stayed there for a few minutes as more and more cars pulled over.

What a horrible feeling to feel so helpless as a person is lying there either unconscious or dead. I could think of nothing to do except to drive on so that I would not be in the way when an ambulance pulled up. How sad it was to pull away and leave this man.

So tonight.....my head is way too fogged to continue my post. People are not faced with a situation with that once....so I am faced with it twice?? Zorro commented that it is a message to me. A sign that if you live recklessly, your going to eventually crash. Do you think I should take that as a sign?

A Secret Lover Rendezvous-- Part 1

I can't write it all in one post--actually the rendezvous was like a book with chapters. We'd get intense and then stop, relax, talk and then begin again. So, I decided to write it like that....as a Series....lol

Part 1- The Meeting

Initially we were suppose to meet Tuesday (today)....he called me in the morning, something came up from work and he couldn't do it. I can't do it the rest of the week so that left Monday night or not for another week. Hmmm....the intensity in our emails, phone calls and connection was not going to allow us to survive another week --I decided to change my whole schedule around to clear the night. Move Tuesdays excuse to Monday which of course added some stress.

I didn't have a lot of time....so I had a choice to make (he left it to me). We either go to dinner or we get a room. Knowing that the entire time at dinner, I would want to get a room. Reality is I would be going to dinner because it was the right thing a respectable woman would do (as respectable as a cheater could be). But that would just hold off this intense passion...make it to the point of very overwhelming since we couldn't meet for at least another week. So I went for it! It wasn't easy for me to make that decision.

Here I am in a hotel lobby waiting to go to a room with a man that I technically never met before for a night of sex. Hmmm....hard for me to morally except that but..I did it.

He walked into the lobby and we both smiled. He has these warm, intense eyes and a great smile that really can make you feel so comfortable. So sweet, he sat down next to me to make sure I was okay with this. Letting me know, its whatever I want and it was okay. I wanted to experience him, the morals had to be left in my car. After he registered (which seemed like an eternity) we walked to the elevator. We were technically strangers but we didn't feel that way...I was nervous but it felt right. In the elevator, he reached over and touched my face so gently and started to kiss me. He knows how to kiss...his tongue is quite forceful and he knows how to move it just right. Looking me so deeply in the eyes...you are beautiful.

We get to the room and well, they forgot to turn the air conditioner on. As I opened the door, the heat hit me like a ton of bricks. Sooooo...do we complain and wait for another room...no...it will take too much time....we just will have to deal.

ITs so nice when you have a connection with someone. A certain friendship connection that is the base. It's truly comforting and I think it adds to the excitement. Nervous, I turn on the tv...yeah sure we're going to watch tv!!! He pulled me up off the bed to standing and slowly started to kiss me.....it felt so nice. IT was forceful, yet gentle....I was being seduced...he slowly very slowly, removed my suit jacket as we continued to kiss my mouth, my neck, my ear....interlocking our hands, exploring each others body......then came my camisole....I just placed my hands up and allowed him to slowly pull it over my head. He stopped and looked at me standing there in my bra and pants. We passionately kissed some more.....

he led me over to the bed, and began to kiss me more....opening my bra and cupping my breast. His mouth lowered to my tit and he sucked my erect nipple....mmm....it felt so damn good. At some point, I undressed him...button my button and undid his belt. My pants also were off....now we were both there with just our underwear.

We slid into the bed...and the action began to speed up. I wanted him inside of me but he was determined to let me experience this day. What was really nice, was that he wanted to please me. this was uncomfortable for me, mainly because I am so used to being the pleaser. He slowly kissed my neck, worked his way to my nipples and now was working his way down my body. Yeah! There was no doubt where he was headed.

Remember, I haven't had a guy eating me out in forever. So I was a little hesitant but he had a way to make me feel so comfortable. I spread my legs, knowing that it was time. It was time to experience something that seemed like centuries ago... a guy sucking intently on my clit.

His lips felt so good on my clit. His tongue licking and his mouth sucking. He was lapping up my pussy like it was a bowl of milk. Little bites, little kisses, some licks and some intense sucking. Oh my, it has definitely been a long time. I could feel my body reacting, my back starting to arch, my hands reaching out to push his head further and further on me. I could feel the orgasm building. He was doing something amazing with his lips and tongue..it was driving me crazy.

Then he took a finger and inserted it into my hole while he continued to lick. Then he took a finger and inserted it into my ass. I was his..totally his. My body reacted to each of his moves, he had me totally...I was his for the taking. I could feel the temperature rising inside of me. I could feel the orgasm starting to send chivers down my spine. I could hear myself moaning and climax as I screamed his name. IT was amazing! And it think it had been so long...so long until a man just worked and worked to get me to cum.

That alone was worth the trip. But the fun had just begin, that was an appetizer. We still had 6 courses to go to this meal. I can hardly remember the order... but he was eating me out for along time..determined not to leave until I climaxed AND it took awhile in order for me to relax and get there.

I called him Magic Tongue, if he didn't already have the name Mr. Prize...oh it would now be magic tongue. He certainly knew what he was doing. He knew how to get my body to relax and to respond. Aah! Yum!!

Now, it was time to move on....my body wanted to feel his cock inside of me....

Escorted Home By The Police Ater My Hot Sex Session

The meeting was tonight. We met 1/2 way...it was amazing. Way too tired to post the rendezvous tonight...but I will tomorrow.

But....I learned something tonight. the Police Department has infrared lights that scan license plates. Basically, I got pulled over on the way home. Hubby bounced check and they suspended our registration. Hmmm.....I almost went to jail!! Actually he is suppose to impound my car but he felt bad for me.

So the officer escorted me home...hmmm...the big problem..I wasn't suppose to be on that road!!!Trying to BS my way out of it with the hubby...I think I succeeded.....whew!!

So let's see, I got escorted home from a hot sex session by the police and now I have to appear in court. Only me!! only me!!

Okay, I have to get to sleep...feeling a little weird about it now that I got pulled over. Not really bad...but for the first time--- I am feeling a little guilt! Ouch!

Wild Yam Roots will turn me on? Let's Try them!

What a bizarre and interesting day!

A friend of mine had told me that she had tried this lotion that she was using for her skin. She noticed during this time that she started feeling really good about things (never connecting the two). Well, after days of using this cream...her ex (who repulsed her) was starting to look good. She felt like she was really flying high....Life was great.

Turns out this cream is Wild Yam Roots. Some believe this balances you!! Great for women...so she had everyone in her office try it. All the women felt great. Today, I was chatting with a friend. She's been having some real anxiety driven times lately. Actually the guy she was having an affair with ended up telling his wife he wanted a divorce. The opportunity was there and he felt he had to take it. she's a wreck.

So, I went to the store today and purchased the cream for us both to share. We decided to be guinea pigs...do our own experiment and see if this cream "balanced us", "made us horny", "made us feel like a million bucks". Okay, she's a nut like me. I go over there with the cream and we are in her back yard. Mind you.....three neighbors can see right into her back yard. They have company. We start reading the directions. the cream must go on your errogeneous, soft points of your body. Inner thighs, breasts, upper arms and stomach. Well, we just start applying....we pulled our pants down to get to our inner thighs, we lifted our shirts to get to our breasts...arms were easy and stomach with our shirts up....a breeze....

The two of us are howling with laughter like little kids. you know one of us is going to get a rash or something....nice places for an allergic reaction!! We are dangerous together...the two of us have a wild side. We love to just have fun. Both very impulsive...she is absolutely stunning. At a party, a good friend of mine (guy--who I have been friends with since I am 15) says...that's Ms. ____. Wow...heard a lot about her. Found out she has been the discussion at many local poker games....they all want to poke her!!

I rush home to be with my family. Parents are over and dad just got a computer. Mom is saying how he is watching all these sexy woman on it (MTV videos that she thinks is porno). You know you have to watch your husband my dear. They say they like to watch porno on it . do you watch him? I saw a show where people talk about sex too. MY husband is sitting there, I am way too busy trying to find a job for that (defensively). Me, I am so shocked by this conversation...I don't know how to keep a straight face. Oh my! If they just knew.....I just sip my coffee, trying to look soooo innocent. Can't let my face say anything. Poker FACE!

GREAT!! Visions of Mr. Prize and our recent conversation while I looked at his cock are coming into my head. No smirk, no smile...I'm going to burst I think. A flood of thoughts about my blog, their own daughter's escapades, my naked tit on the internet for all to see (which someone pointed out makes a very nice screen saver....lol) That was funny.

"I like to play word games on the computer" I say soooo innocently. And off I change the subject about word games..Whew!! subject changed.

Gotta tell ya. Mr. Prize and I have been talking non stop. The anticipation, the connection is building and it is so damn intense. In conclusion, we are going to have dinner and then head to a hotel. No need to think any differently or pretend...we want each other. IT's on a different level than most of the frogs --(exciting yet scary)...I guess I can relate him closest to Soulmate Chris. Because we talk about everything, are so much alike, have so much in common....our mental stimulation is like mental masturbation...it feels soooo good. You know I like smart men...I love to connect on a mental level (as well as a physical level).

And he found my blog. He had podcasted in the past...I mentioned it so it wasn't too hard to find me then. I kind of feel very vulnerable now. first, it hasn't worked out very well with guys reading my blogs and then us trying to have something. Second, I felt like he got to see so much of me....okay, all of me. Know things about me that most people do not know about me. Learned deep inside feelings that...I probably wouldn't share or wouldn't have shared for awhile.

Feel like I handed over my play book to the other team. All the scrimmages laid out...all the details of every play for the other team to see. Ouch!! Well, I told him he can read until.....we hook up. Meeting date is scheduled for Tuesday night if neither of our work gets in the way. Then he needs to forget my blog. I have to remain true to my blog. I feel uncomfortable with him knowing every move and thought after that. He said he will respect that. I will send him posts if I want him to see them... this should be interesting.//lol

Well the whirlwind is here again...that feeling of the anticipation of a meeting, the nervousness in my stomach...I am truly nervous. Why? He has done his experimenting already. I would put him in professional status.. ME? Well we all know I want to experiment but I am at beginner level here. Concerns? Yeah I do have them. I may not be enough for him. He's used to wild sex, orgies, S&M, he's very sexually open. And me?

Let's compare it to..... hmmmm....sky diving. I read all the books that are out there. I learn all the things you can do, all the fun jumps, the correct form etc... And it is totally different when you are there and actually jumping. He actually jumps out of the planes. Quite a difference. I can make a million analogies... like reading about doing heart surgery and then actually doing it. Okay I can go on and on...but you've gotten the pix.

so yes, Tuesday is our big meeting. What happens if we aren't into each other? What happens if that chemistry isn't there when we are face to face? We could be at a loss of words? Or maybe he thinks I look totally different than the pix I sent? time will only tell.......

MCDonald's --Special Sauces:?

Driving as the rain is pouring down, we talk about our potential meeting. There is a strong connection here...its that mental stimulation I was looking for. A man with extensive sexual experience and one that stimulates me mentally....sounds like what I might be have been looking for.

Talking about everything in this world. Talking about the latest issues in the news, serious subjects and also SEX. He's had his past, but its more involved than any man I have met yet. Threesomes, Sex Clubs, S&M including light and more intense bondage. I don't think there is anything he hasn't tried.

the conversation is heating up. The desire to meet is becoming more and more intense. I cannot take the tightness I am feeling in between my legs. In a business suit, stuck in traffic, beginning to feel all my juices flowing. I can feel my need to reposition quite a few times as my clit starts to get really engorged. There is no doubt I want this man sexually. There is no doubt that this man has peaked my interests....there is no doubt this man is a professional player.

I'm almost home but I can't go home like this. Can't go home and just start playing the wife and mother role...I desperately need some relief. I pull into the local McDonald's, in the back, where no cars are. I need some relief, he is willing to help me. With the rain pouring down, I push my seat back and listen to his voice. Listen to his directions..."open your pants....unzip the zip and slide your hand into your pants". The combination of the sinful place, being in a public area so close to home and his sensual voice....I find myself drifting into that other world. I close my eyes and follow his directions to the tee. "Take your middle finger and insert is inside of you".... oh my!! I can feel the juices flowing.

With my eyes closed, with my finger doing circles on my clit and his voice explaining our sexual encounter he has planned for us...I can almost feel his cock inside of me. Thick and pulsating..I can almost feel his lips sucking on my lips, my clit and his tongue inside of me. My nipples tight, my walls tight--I can feel the climax coming...I can feel my head leave this Earth and travel to the world of ecstasy....I am floating into an amazing orgasms...mmmmmmmmm.....probably the third one he has giving me in less than 24 hours.

Now there is a Big MAC with all the special sauces!! YUM!!

We've been spending a lot of time on the phone and on Instant Messaging and webcamming. The connection is getting stronger. It's a great feeling, its a great connection...a perfect combination of sexuality and friendship. Happened so fast, happened so intensely...distance is the only thing keeping us apart.

The last few days with Mr. Prize has given me kind of an inner peace (as my real world is tumbling around me). It's kind of nice...its very nice. Concerns?? Oh please, you know me there is always a concern but that is for another post. The difference this time is more of a situation with his past experiences and the other frogs in both our lives.

Mr. Construction guy, he's wrapped up in his work. He has a lot on his mind and I honestly don't care right now. I am not contacting him, I have this feeling I am never going to meet him now. And i am not upset about that at this point. It would be a good thing in a way. MR. Prize has a kind of maturity level when it comes to this affair thing. He's been there numerous times, he understands what I am looking for. He seems to be able to handle that I want a total escape for a few hours. That I want that "pretend world"...knowing that my real life is always there. It's kind of nice....he's not shutting me down. He wants me to grow, he wants me to enjoy...he wants to teach me.

More later........real life is calling.

The weather mirrored my mood

Every feel like the weather does you in? Today was one of those days--the weather seemed to mirror my mood...shitty. Unfortunately, things at home are worsening or am I just getting so fed up? Doesn't matter....I feel trapped. And trapped I will stay. I don't understand how the man can sit there and watch me work. Not feel that HE needs to work. Sigh...I can't even go there or you might see me on Forensics on Court TV.

Well I was alone today. YUP! No men. Actually, a quick text message from Mr. Construction Guy again apologizing. But I did bring the morning in with Mr. Prize.

Now, I have to tell you....he truly gets me very wet. Last night we had a Combo! Yes, a webcam session while he IM'd me and he was talking to me on the phone. Damn, what an orgasm. The thought of us being together was sooo hot. Just the danger of what we were doing was making me wet. And listening to him talking while watching him play with himself....man, that made me cum and cum hard. Those circles on my clit do the trick everytime!!

I did have a dizzy blonde moment today....he knows I blog (I really don't want him looking at the blog though because its so revealing and well the track record of guys seeing it and it not working out has not been that good). Well he asked to see a post. Be careful...when you send a post in an word file it also sends the name of the blog!!!!!

Well we will see what occurs. Can he avoid temptation to visit? i hope so. In fact, I will know if he goes here by the statcounter.

WE've been talking a lot. He is a doll. We've really connected. It's nice. Concerned about his experience and my lack of.....but I am turned on by his openess....its realy nice.

All right...off for the night. I have a lot to update...I will have to do it tomorrow.

Sweet Dreams

Guardian Angels are Working Overtime...DAMN!

So worried about two men within 24 hours and ..now there are none. OH YES!! I said NONE!!!!!!

I had to cancel Mr. Prize tonight because my babysitter cancelled. Then, Mr. Construction Guy said something came up for tomorrow and he couldn't help it. "I promise Bella, I will make it up to you...over and over and over again".

So stuck home and I am hornier than anything. Tadpole hasn't been into me lately. But I felt like talking to him tonight....maybe he could talk me through some phone sex directions. Oh, he was busy working late with someone there. Here I am talking how I want him to help me cum and he says "I'm here working with some guys..your on speakerphone". I almost died (he was kidding though--funny guy). I'll call ya later....he never does....starting to get the message...

So now I need some relief. I can feel my clit totally engorged..I can feel the wetness building and the tighting of my walls....how badly I just want to get screwed! funny how it builds and builds and builds until.....I want some HOT SEX. PURE LUSTFUL SEX!! I feel like a dog in heat today.

Crazy day at work. Insane day. I really need to unwind. I need some relaxation. I need a stiff, thick cock. That's it...that's what would make this frustration and desire subside. thickness is my choice today. Not the length....as much as thickness. A nice thick cock from behind. Banging hard into me ...yup fast and hard....mmmmm.....feeling his balls slapping my ass. Us working up into a sweat. The desire building until I could feel my body start to tremor. Feel the walls tightening around his cock...hear myself moan and moan. Until we both explode.

Have you ever had sex until you just couldn't move anymore? Kind of like running a race and just going until you couldn't go anymore and then pushing it even a bit farther. That's what I would like to do.....hot marathon sex. Just pure screwing for delight!!

Actually, Mr. Prize is definitely a charmer. I enjoy our conversations so. I do wish he lived closer, I would have definitely met him by now. He has a guppy in the picture. A woman he speaks to on a regular basis. competition? Possibly. But who am I to talk with all the frogs around. Need to relax or I will explode. How could I have two sex sessions set up and them both fall apart?? Only me...the guardian angels are definitely working overtime.

Which Man Do I Choose?

I have officially over extended myself! Aah! the internet is a dangerous thing. with all the stress of the party and my anger towards my husband...and my loneliness..I went back to Ashley Madison.

Well it may be the time of year but it seems that there is a lot of new meat on Ashley. And some hot looking meat at that. Well I told you about the Boy Toy Construction Guy. Actually things are good. His texting was getting to me. Instead of calling or IMing, he would text. I guess bad memories from Mr. Government. And the texts were getting less and less flirty and more and more explicit. You know how I start to feel about being a whore.

Well, I stopped answering and now we're back on track. He called and we talked. And now he called three times each day (to make up for the texting). He's really cute. We have a really good connection. Funny, attentive, sweet....still potential there. In fact, we are meeting on Thursday! Lots of phone sex last week and lots of pix going back and forth on the cell phone. He definitely is getting me wet.

I am nervous. I feel like a little girl going on her first date. He's so into anal. He's so into taking his tongue and licking my hole. It's been a long time since someone has done that. A long time.

I blew off the second Podiatrist I told you about except that he keeps coming back. I told him he was so hung up with looks, he wasn't for me. He doesn't care he says BUT I do!! That's not going to go anywhere I don't feel the connection.

And now the REAL surprise. By accident, I left my Instant messaging on Ashley. A message came through and well I had been feeling a little lonely so I answered. A guy from another state so I took it as a grain of salt. They must do something about the water in that state. I am always attracted to men from there. Six Pack, Navigator, Soulmate Chris.....all hot and from that state.

Anyway, he was really interesting. A Pullitser (spelled wrong on purpose so I don't show up in a search) Prize Winner. Very impressive. You know how I get turned on by smart men. He is so knowledgable on so many different things....I really enjoyed talking to him. He's handsome and very funny, attentive and nice. A problem? He is soooo experienced. Probably had 30 affairs throughout his marriage. He has done everything (sex clubs, orgies, S&M, bondage, anal..okay you get the pix). The man is very much experienced and has experimented with sex.

We have been talking non stop these past few days. We have so much to talk about. He wants to show me and help me experiment. Like a professor I guess. He wants for me to experience all that I want to.....at my pace. Open the door to all those things on my list of sexual things I want to do. The man is pretty amazing.

So now what?? We were going to meet tonight actually. But I got sick. I never get sick and today I have a bad cold. It sucks!! So I canceled then I made these plans with Mr. Construction Guy and well....Mr. Prize wants to meet tomorrow night. Hmmm....back to back sex with two new guys...I can't do it. the thought is kind of a turn on though. I haven't gotten laid in sooo long. the thought of two different cocks in one week is quite appealing!

So you see, you leave me alone for a few days and I get into trouble. Masturbating with two guys on the computer, phone sex, pix back and forth....you can't leave me alone. I've been in Wet OverDrive. We are talking.....super wet for days now. I admit it, I've masturbated twice today just to relieve the tension. Once Mr. Prize directed me....now that was real yummy.

So two men with huge THICK cocks and I don't know which direction to take. I'm usually much better at spacing them...one in and one out. Never where two were so at the beginning like this. Sigh!! Part of me says go with the flow...part of me says choose one now. Most of me says I need a real hard cock soon or I will explode!

I'm Back

Wow! That's all I can say is WOW!! I had the most amazing weekend.....the party was unbelievable. It was a huge success. I drank way too much...way too much but I deserved it!

So now, back to reality. Funny how reality just sits there and waits for you. So now what? What do I do? I have been buried in this party for a month now. Concentrating on the arrangements. And today, there sat reality. It waited for me on the shelf.

So, now what? I kept asking myself over and over. I can't leave yet I am unhappy in my marriage. Do I continue to live this way? As I was contemplating my next move--my husband did something so damn stupid. The man has a job one night a week....and he didn't show up tonight. I thought he was dead because he had called me saying he was going straight to work from dropping my son off at a sporting event. The man ---stayed to watch my son play instead of going to work. An ass? To me its inconceivable that he would jeopardize the only way he brings in money---

So I honestly took that as a sign from above. It's time to start my plan. It's time to figure out what I want to do with my life. Because being married to him is not the answer. AND--I don't feel guilty. He's not the man I married--I don't even know who he is. Actually, it's time to return to me. It's time to figure out a way to support my family without him AND concentrate on me again. I have always been independent. I've always been resourceful. So tomorrow is another day...my goal-- do it on my own. So until tomorrow!!

I',m back....yeah!! And well, you know me....while I haven't had time to write, there are a few new frogs!!! lol Update tomorrow! Sweet Wet Dreams

Stressed spells desserts!

When I become stressed, I find I become extremely horny. Not a great combination...I good orgasm can relieve this tightness throughout the body BUT usually I am stressed because I have so much to do ....hence, no time for a masturbation session.

A lot is on my mind....you see, this party I have been talking about marks a very significant part of my son's life. It also marks a significant part of my marriage. It's a big day for family pix and well--most of my friends who have considered divorce have always said "after the event". Why? Because chances are, the next big landmark event with a formal album of family pix will be their wedding. So like a lot of my friends, I avoided really thinking about my future in my marriage by saying "I'll wait till after the event". Hence, bought me two years to avoid taking action on our failing marriage.

The hubby knows I have been contemplating divorce. But he's not stupid, he knows I'm not going anywhere. Funny that it probably wouldn't take much for me to tolerate this marriage but it seems he doesn't want to make an effort.

An example--he has not helped in one planning for this event. He has not attempted to help me with one decoration. Knowing that I am losing my mind with all the details, he starts something and then leaves it. I''ve actually had some of my friends husband's come over and they've strategized with me about getting the decorations to stay up, reinforcing some life size signs etc. etc.

So instead of a great event being used to pull us closer together, he threw another wedge in between us. At 10pm, I was doing the seating arrangements with my son. My husband comes up and shoots him with a water gun....hello??? Well all hell broke out with water fights as I am trying to concentrate....and then my husband gets made because my son won't stop.

I guess the best way to compare it would be to a Diplomat of the United Nations and the Parking Ticket Scandel. Some Diplomats in the city follow no parking rules, in fact, certain Diplomats were owed the most money in parking tickets (over $10,000) in the city. They just park wherever they want. Then when they get the tickets for breaking the rules--they ignore them, never pay them. They just do what they want--park wherever they want. In fact, they obviously have no regard for the parking rules. That's how I feel my husband lives here. It's truly pathetic.

Well I am juggling work, juggling this event, juggling being stressed (and horny)!

Did you know that stressed backwards is "DESSERTS"!! How funny is that. Today, I am going over to order all the desserts for the event....mmmmmm.......oh yes, it will be an overindulging orgasmic event in desserts!!

Size Does Matter...

Sent to me by Hale, he always makes me laugh.
This one I had to share with you! I got the shivers when I saw this man's cock. Oh my, I am so fixated with anal sex these days that seeing his cock immediately made me think how that thing would be the ultimate in painful!!

This week will not be much saga in Secret Lovers Lane because I am getting ready for my big gala event!

As you may guess, I do nothing small. Planning a small party has now turned into a huge event. Well if all else fails in life, the balloon guy asked me if I would do centerpieces and decorations for him in my spare time. Spare Time?!? Yes, I did signs with flashing lights, life size hockey pucks, bleachers...and the list goes on.....Gotta be honest, I did them out of love.

So, while the party is for my son....I am probably the most excited. My sexy dress is ready to go...having my makeup and my hair done professionally...I will feel like a million bucks that day. I wish you all could be there with me!!

Mr. Construction is doing fine. He's giving me space and yesterday it felt so strange not hearing from him 40 times but it is definitely healthier. You know me..Miss Insecure...checked to see if he went to the Ashley site...but he hasn't been there since we met. I'm starting to miss Mr. Government. I know, I know....turn the page. But I can't help but think about him. About us....about the amazing orgasms.

All the stress from planning the party (which did I mention my husband has done nothing)...I so badly needed a release. I find that sex or masturbating, gives me that focus and relaxation I need. So this morning, when no one was home, I had an amazing session.....no toys but more and more I am finding that my butt is extremely sensitive and just the slightest playing can give me an amazing orgasms. Just as I finished, MR. Construction emailed me. Did he feel me thinking about him? Oh I was as my entire body reached orgasm and I could feel my insides pulsating.

Aah! I love to cum! I love that feeling. Gotta get someone to get me there..I'm so tired of playing solo!

Living Life To The Fullest

Wow! So I was about to shut off the computer and I saw that The Crocodile Hunter got killed today by a StingRay. I guess the shock was more of the how he died and what killed him then the fact that he actually got killed.

Watching his near misses with snakes, crocodiles and all kinds of poisonous animals--made me always say, this guy is nuts. I always had this underlying panic that this was going to be it. Of course, I should have known he was still alive and I would have read about it if he was had an accident....but I always said over and over....this guy is crazy. K

And a StingRay! Not usually a killer. I'm kind of bummed for him because I'm sure he would have wanted to die in one of his crazy adventures (rather than a heart attack in his sleep.) But I'm sure he would be disappointed that it was a StingRay that did him in. Yeah, most get stung in the foot and the venom is torturous but usually people survive. He got stabbed right in the chest. The internet is amazing. Go to StingRays in Wikipedia and already its listed that he got killed by one today as if it was old news. Amazing!

So, I sit here and his death has me thinking. One-how stupid he was. Such small kids and now they have no father. But even more -how short life is. It can be over when you least expect it. Poof! So do you live it to the fullest and not feel guilty OR do you live it carefully, morally and be unhappy? Take chances or watch everything you do?

You know the man (crazy and dangerous as his life was) loved being with these animals. All his near misses on every show---but that made me think. Living dangerously, are you just waiting for the inevitable?

Well Steve Irwin, you will be missed. you always made me laugh and your craziness and your over zest for life. The man always seemed to be in overdrive and on speed! His love and trust of dangerous animals--he was a wild one!!

The Perfect Cock Soup ..how Yummy!!

So how amazing would it be if you could actually go to the store and purchase a COCK!?!? Yup! Kinda of like a soup mix that has the perfect ingredients. Just like soup, you can make it exactly to your tasting...

Hmmm....so this had me thinking. I love to cook..so if I could whip up a dish of perfect COCK what would it be??

1. 1. Length-- Hmm....length is important. 4 inches isn't going to give you much to work with there. I would love a 6-7 inch sausage in size....

2. Thickness...much more important to me. A thick shaft that you can truly FEEL as it enters is my preference. One that even with all the juices flowing you can still feel the shaft inside of you. One that when it starts to enter, you can feel your walls expanding. Yup, thickness is really good. (A thick Cock Soup!!--like Split Pea or Lobster Bisque)

3.Head-I love a nice size head that is thicker than the shaft---aah! Now I LOVE when there is a rim....like a little mushroom hat...that extra rim gives some little extra sensations as it thrusts in and out (definitely mushrooms in my cock soup).

4.But mostly, constant movement. No matter how thick and long...if it ain't got the right motion in the ocean...it ain't worth much. I guess that's why you constantly would have to stir like a soup!! Keep the juices flowing, keep it simmering hot!!

Cream of Mushroom Soup...hmmmm......can't forget the cream. I love when it projects at great distances.....as if you left the pot cover on and turned the temperature all the way up....that baby would start to explode with energy and burst the cover off and all the fluids come dripping over the side....

Aahh!! Now that is some damn Cock Soup!

Oh yes, the anticipation of Mr. Construction Guy is killing me. Today, we didn't talk because yesterday it was overload (we were texting back and forth over 40 times--it was even too much for me so you know I'm worried if we're okay--gonna wait to hear from him). I was way to hot and bothered all day. I hate walking around with my insides pulsating and feeling like I am so wet. Always worried some dog will start going wild smelling my juices flowing.

I am much, much calmer today. Oh! I got an interesting email today, To join some audio sex site that seems pretty legitimate. Actually, not sleazy but filled with great audio information on sex. The woman liked my podcast and asked me to join. I haven't done a podcast in sooooo long and I really miss it. It just takes so much production and research...yeah, if you haven't heard my podcast..I really do give great information on sex.... And I crack up that guys think my voice is sexy...I wonder sometimes if they are listening to the content or just my explaining how to do a great blow job or erotic talk...doesn't matter. I like the idea that some man is getting a hard on from listening to my voice. I'll keep you updated if I decide to tie in with them. If you haven't listened to my podcast---hey what are you waiting for!!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/RendezvousRadio

or you can go to ITunes and load it down from there.. Do a search on podcasts for Rendezvous Radio and it will show up!

Have a great weekend..... and I bet you will never be able to eat a cream based soup just the same again!! With each slurp....think of me!! lol

And of course, my baby Hale McKay inspires me with the great pix he sends me. Thanks baby!!

So I went to the new beta blogger....will take time to get some of my stuff up on the side but I'm beginning to get used to it. Got rid of that pink background so I hope it is easier to read. Can't skip lines....kind of annoying though...