Am I wasting my time with these married men?

Am I wasting my time with these married men? Are they claiming to want to find a friend and lover when they want to just all fuck and run? Pessimism is usually not in my vocabulary but today it is seeping in. Over and over again I get all excited about a guy. Only to end up disappointed. And of course, I have my friend Zorro who always tells it like it is.

"I'm meeting Mr. Fireman tomorrow, I am so excited". "Yeah" was all he said. He's really great, he's nice, he's sweet and....

Zorro finished my sentence "And in two weeks he will have some excuse why after he plays with you, he can't anymore. Something major will come up in his life. " OUCH!!!!!!!

I laughed thinking about all the reasons I never saw some of the dysfunctional frogs both on my end and theirs. Wow! Is this what it is all about? Am I wasting my time thinking that one of these guys can fulfill my emptiness for more than 3 days?

I don't tell Zorro about Mr. Government. I don't because he is right about him (as most of you are). The sex is so amazing. We are talking orgasms I have not had..I don't think EVER!!!! So I am addicted to his touch. However, he's pushing the line again. He has three days to contact me and that is it. Let the countdown begin (trust me I am being generous here). I will be really upset about this one. Really upset but I will have to move on. He hasn't checked Ashley in 2 weeks. Zorro said he changed his name. Well that gave me the warm and fuzzies!

So my big meeting is tomorrow with Mr. Fireman. Nothing big, a cup of coffee or lunch. Originally we were going to do a picnic but it is suppose to be one of the hottest days tomorrow. I am soooooo nervous. You all know how much I want this to work out. I admit it...I am a little scared. I don't know why. I can't understand it....I guess I don't want to be disappointed whether it be by his personality or by his looks...its more his personality. I haven't been with a laid back frog yet!! All have been Type A, take charge personality...

Sigh! I am off to take a bath. The bath always relaxes me with the candles, jets and romantic music. I love to just sit in there and let my worries go down the drain. All the stress from the day, released in my tub. I have a skylight and a picture window in the bathroom. I sit there and just watch the stars, any planes passing by and the moon. Aaahhh!! now that is heaven. Oh yes, as Percy says....the visual of my nipples just sticking out of the water. They get so cold from the cool air...lol

Sweet Wet Dreams!

Letting My Walls Down For The Fireman To Cum In!

Last night, Mr. Fireman and I were IMing till 5AM. He's such a really great guy. He's sweet, he's attentive, he wants to know all about me, he shows positive feedback when we talk AND he does these little romantic things (and says the nicest things)..

This is the type of guy you need really watch out for (or at least I do). This is the type of guy I allow to seep into my mind, my heart. TROUBLE but absolutely worth the fall if it does come.

The different types I am attracted to:
A player, you can see him from a mile away. You know what you are up against and you know what he' s after. You have your walls in place, your flirting prepared and you are ready for the challenge. You never fall hard for a player. you expect nothing from him...except hopefully a really great fuck!

A Don Juan...same thing. He's smooth, he's got other women he doesn't tell you about. But you know, this ain't going anywhere big--he may be there one minute and gone the next. Same with a smooth talker.

Now a sweet, shy guy...they always seem so innocent. So you reach out to them and hence, you open yourself up for hurt. This is the guy you start to trust, this is the guy you start to make a connection with.

More than once, I have been crushed by a shy guy who really wasn't shy. Mr. Government is the perfect example. "I am new to this. Want to take it slow. I am looking for a friend too." That's right...I put my guard down and BAM!!! I let him in. So, I guess this is a player pretending to be the shy guy. LOL

I'm not going to write much. But I do want to share part of his email with you. I made a comment that I was tired because I was up till 5AM IMing with some guy....his response was that he was also online with.....:

"A girl who has captured my imagination with her great mind, sense of humor and candor and who has a knack for making me feel really good about myself! And guess what else-she sent me pictures and she is very beautiful...and has a voice that belongs on radio! What a coincidence!"

Damn,,,, can you see the walls starting to fall around me!?!? Well I am not getting myself too excited yet I haven't met him yet. you never know. But we are off to a good start. I almost fell over when he said a voice that belongs on radio...oh listen to my podcast!! (hee.hee).

Finally, as we were talking...I realized that I have come a long way sexually. now follow me on this one. If you were a player before you were married and then you got married. You never experienced the internet dating and all the webcamming etc. So, this is a whole new world for our generation. Even those who played years ago....didn't have the internet. So when you ask someone if they have ever had cybersex, webcammed etc. etc. For the newbies, their answer is no (even though they screwed more than their share years ago). So, I was a little shy telling him that I have had cybersex before and that I have watched someone on a webcam. I felt like a pro...I didn't like the feeling actually. When did I become advanced sexually?? lol

One last thing....a couple of weeks ago, a reader sent me a note to help him with Ashley Madison. That he wasn't that successful and that he wanted some pointers. He was hysterical so I took him under my wing...(how funny, he calls me Obi C-, his mentor)! Well. I told him what he was doing wrong and made some suggestions. He had a great and funny personality already so he just needed a little grooming. Last week, I hadn't heard from him. I was wondering how he was doing. I heard from him today. He met three women last week and screwed each one. Even one that had broken his heart the first time around (don't ask, she didn't know it was him). So, how funny is that?? Now I was just trying to help him find one woman....damn, he's doing better than me. I should take his pointers!! I never screw on the first meeting.....am I the only one?

Have a great week!!! And thanks for all your notes and comments!!!! This should be an interesting week for me!! Either lots of highs or lots of lows.....Wish me luck!!

"What Do You Want From ME?!?!"

Something about Tadpole...I get lost everytime I am on the phone with him. Is my mind somewhere else? Possibly. But damn, today I missed my exit and ended up on a long road to the beach. There is no turn around....you just have to continue straight until you reach the beach and turn around. Of course, you know my luck, there is a bridge there. Now this bridge never opens up and wouldn't you know it.....today a S-L-O-W sailboat was passing through and I had to wait for the gate to go up. I love the water...I love the smell of the ocean and the site of boats always drags me in. So I sat there with my eyes closed, talking to Tadpole and smelling the ocean breeze. It was relaxing....however, now I was late for a meeting. Sometimes I get frustrated by our conversation though, because I can't figure out what he is thinking "What does he want? Friendship? More? I can't figure it out.

Well I continue to my meeting and then the next and then I realize that damn doctor I told you about. I have a meeting scheduled for next week with the cocky Don Juan. I wanted to just pop in this week..damn I have to hurry or just keep the scheduled appointment. I quickly spruced up my hair (making it a little wild), pulled down my shirt for some cleavage and threw on some lipstick--a color that makes my lips double in size...

I strolled into his waiting room....packed...PERFECT! His gatekeepers would turn me away without a doubt, I'll drop off my stuff, talk to his office manager and I'm off! But I should have known better---just as I was getting up to the front to ask if he was available--look who is in the front talking to his staff. The man looked damn gorgeous...his eyes had a sparkle to them--his smile was so inviting. I could feel my stomach tighten and I wonder if he could see that deep breath I had to take. Here was a man who has taken many women's breath away (and I'm sure more than their breath). I am not up for the challenge or the game. "Your real busy...I'll just drop off the material and you can call me if you have any questions OR I can meet with your office manager." "No, wait." which it wasn't my imagination...it came out very decisive because even the girl at the desk took a double take. He looked at his schedule and moved a patient to another doctor in the office. "Come back to my office, I'll only be a minute".

His office was very cool. His desk was a desk of power. His office was filled with great artwork (I love artwork) and everything was in order. I looked around to see where to sit. There was his desk with two chairs on the other side and a couch, coffee table and two chairs. hmmm.....positioning is key. I sat at the desk chairs.

A minute later he walked in with two coffees. "okay, this isn't how I thought we'd have our first coffee meeting" and he laughed. What a great laugh. I couldn't help but blush. If you remember, I met him on the road and he offered to buy me coffee. I could feel my insides responding....stop...business..business...business. He sat down at his desk and I took out my information. I began talking to him about the information and he just stared at me as I was talking. When I caught his eyes, I could hardly keep my train of thought. Where was I...."any questions so far?" I threw in just to bide some time. "Nope. Good so far. What about the website. Can you show it to me?" Oh boy....that meant getting up and going around the desk to his side. "Oh just type in....www. " Conveniently, he was having problems with it. "I'm doing something wrong, can you show me". I just shot him a look with a smile. "here sit here"..so I sat in his chair and now he was leaning over my shoulder.

I could smell his cologne and could feel his presence and I was definitely feeling my nipples responding as well as a moistness between my legs starting to develop. I look over my shoulder up into his eyes...."any questions?" "yeah,, I have quite a few" as he kept looking into my eyes. Oh there is no doubt a chemistry going on here...I broke the eye contact, got up quickly and said "ask away" returning to my seat.

This time, he walked around the desk and sat in the chair next to me and started asking a million technical questions. Flipping my head back to work (this guy was playing with me and wanted to see if he could rattle me a little). Well honey, I am no dumb blonde.....I know my shit...and obviously he was going to test me. With each question, I looked him right in the eye with my response....I could see a smirk....I think this game was turning him on.

A knock on the door interrupted us. "your patients are waiting". Hmmm....a sign it was time to definitely leave. I don't want to become part of his office gossip. So I packed my stuff up and expected him to move but he didn't. I put my hand out to shake his and thank him. He shook my hand and held onto it for few seconds longer than most hand shakes. I was kind of trapped and couldn't get out. Our eyes met again....my insides were jumping like mexican jumping beans....I tried to slide out but he made it so his legs were in the way and I had to brush up against him to leave. I could now see that he was certainly a little glad to see me!! We were now face to face..inches away. "I'm glad you stopped by...beautiful and smart, a nice combination".

After a confusing few weeks of trying to understand all these frogs.....I think he was the final stop on the road of confusion this week. Out of my mouth--to my surprise and embarrassment, I heard my voice "what do you want from me?" Without even flinching, he continued to look into my eyes and said "to get to know you better over dinner." Well we all know what that really meant.....to fuck your brains out. "I'm married with kids and this is a new job that I really love. I can't for so many reasons but I am soooo tempted". "That's not what you were saying the day we met on the road". He was getting annoyed..like I just blew him off. He was right, I wasn't. "I didn't think I would see you in business. You were just a hot guy flying by in a hot car". He leaned down inches from my face"I want to get to know you. You seem like quite a lady. I'll move your appointment to lunch next week and we can go over this stuff further. I promise...business and just getting to know each other. "

"No lunch. I'll keep the appointment and we will talk further." And then his nurse came in again. "You gotta go....I will see you next week". I walked out with my head spinning. I did take a minute to look back at this ass as he walked....but he was looking at my ass....LOL our eyes met and we both smiled and laughed. Sigh, way too hot, way too dangerous, way to much of a player. I need a guy who is straight forward and isn't into games. Why do I find men who love to be vague and just play games?!?

Midnight Call + Stupidity+ Horny = A Dumb Divorce Attorney

Okay, I have to write this before I leave the house because I am mystified by this frogs stupidity. All I can say, I hope he was drunk or doing some great drugs because otherwise...what an ass.

Last night at midnight, the phone rings...I was soooo caught off guard. No one calls after 11:30 in this house. So, I got nervous that there was an emergency. Restricted #, I had to pick it up. On the other end was the Divorce Lawyer that I haven't spoken to for a while. He has been IMing and calling--so last week I left a message...hope you are good, still with Mr. Government and I am happy.

"Hi , it's Divorce Lawyer. What's up?" I was stunned...hubby had to hear the phone ring. Quick, sorry you have the wrong number and I hung up. What an idiot. Now if you remember he's done this before at weird hours. No more calls, no more feeling bad, no more contact.

So Cheaters Rule #1--don't call someones phone at a strange hour. Don't call outside of normal business hours unless you know that person has flexibility THAT day to talk. To me its a no brainer.

Now I have been drunk and yearning for the touch of certain men. But I have never , ever called. EVER!! That is just sick!

Very strange to look at my erect nipple

I usually go through my blog to get to everyone elses, today it has been very difficult with my own nipple staring me in the face. I'm glad I did it because it felt so liberating. But most of all, I want to thank you all for such great comments and for making me feeeeeellll so good. If you've read my blog for awhile, you know I am a little insecure when it comes to men (okay, I can be a true PITA-Pain In The Ass). But this made me feel great today!! Thanks.

Found another dress....okay I don't think I can wear this one BUT now that is a statement. A condom dress....definitely a safe night out.. (hee.hee) Actually its quite a functional dress...I can just imagine having a man use each condom as he undresses me...wow!! that would be one heavy duty sex session...there must be at least 100 condoms here. What a fantasy!

A stressful day today. So I cant wait to crawl into bed. I realize it is my own pressures that cause me to get nuts...a perfectionist in a way!

Well Mr. Fireman is doing good. Emailed just to say hi and says he can't wait to meet me. He has such a sweet disposition, it seems a little too innocent for a fireman. Damn, the thoughts that go through my mind. I have to be careful...I am starting to do the old Cutout Figure Images. You know, when you have this fantasy and its not the person but the image and you kind of just stick their head in your own fantasy and its not what they are about. Well, you know I have to see him in his suspenders. mmmm....did I tell you that he works out everyday and has a six pack??? Oh boy, time to start throwing the water on me. Sorry gentleman, but the ladies put up with my tit, I want to give them some eye candy today...and this is mighty fine eye candy with a nice hard cock!!! Damn!!

Mr. Heart called (but I don't know if I am going to return it--I feel like he calls for someone just to hear him say dirty things on the phone--I heard his other doctor friends in the background--so uncool and dangerous).

And Tadpole, dear tadpole. Can't figure him out. I look forward to our daily conversations. But today as I was talking it hit me--we aren't going to meet again. He can't get over his concern that his wife will see us. I mean if you go to some off the beat bar, she's not going to be there. But, he said that is still the reason...so I can't change that. His mind is set.

The thing that cracks me up the most about our friendship is that he knows me. He knows all parts of my life---in fact, since he reads my blog, he probably knows more about me than anyone else (and Zorro of course). So its tough in a way, because he knows what presses my buttons. So with someone else, I might not say something but think it and write it here later. He, however, will just read it the next day if I didn't say it. Kind of weird for someone to know my inner thoughts. Tonight I was in the post office and thinking, he's probably a block or two away...but I didn't call him. Hey, if the man doesn't want to possibly suck on my erect nipples, you can't force it right??

So tonight, i am headed to my bath to relax, to unwind, to think about life. I was able to track down Computer Nature Man...my first secret lovers lane meeting. Aah! I found out where his new job is and his email. Considered sending him a note, but decided not to. I have the memories of sucking face in the subway and a hot session in Central Park. Can't complain about such good memories. I'm going to let it lie.

Sweet Wet Dreams and thanks for your support!!! you guys are the BEST!!

My First Official HNT!

Well here goes......my first official half naked Thursday! Well actually, I am naked but you just get to see one tit with my jewelry attached! Okay, be kind..it is my first attempt with no clothes on. And
now here is proof that my nipples get really erect!!

Happy HNT!

A Beginner At Nude Photography....

Today I wore my circle shirt! (see!) It's not revealing but it has this round circle right at my cleavage. Funny how that little circle seems to draw attention. I love to giggle as men just look at the circle. Even when they talk to me, they talk to the circle. The entertain for my afternoon!

So I snapped some shots yesterday with my camera phone. It actually was quite fun and erotic. Yes, you know I got wet. Well I couldn't help it. I found this jewelry that is suppose to fit on your clit. But, it is hard to get on. First, I decided to put it on my erect nipple. And that worked. Took a pix that is probably the one I will end up posting (even though it doesn't really belong there). But then I decided to put it on my clit. Well, you have to squeeze and pull your clit so the jewelry can slip on. It wasn't slipping on. So, all this playing got my wet so I decided to use my wetness to help in the sliding. After playing around (and enjoying the whole process) I managed to get the jewelry on. I took some pix....the whole process was fun. Then I found out that moving around in this jewelry can be quite stimulating. I am considering to wear it out under my skirt one day. Yeah, I'll get a lot of work done!

Okay, back to balance in Secret Lovers Lane. Life is such a rollercoaster. New attitude (which will hopefully help for more than 10 hours this time)...don't plan, see where life takes you. Oh its not going to last long but I got it now.

Tadpole-
Tadpole apologized and admitted that he was wrong. His actions were inconsiderate and thoughtless (I think those were his words). He explained and we have moved on from there. I tried to give him an out because there is a lot going on but he claims he doesn't want it (we can still be friends, don't have to meet now). I sooo enjoy our coversations....I love to make him laugh and his sarcastic remarks make me howl with laughter. They are witty and come out of left field.

Mr. Government-
Wants to see me this week but crazy because he just got back from vacation. We're shooting for the end of the week. I love getting him all hot and bothered with little emails and phone messages. AND, he hasn't visited Ashley in two weeks. Wow.

Mr. Fireman-
Late night Instant Messaging. This guy seems too good to be true. He seems so everyday..and that is good in a way. Can't explain it. He's not into the cat and mouse games and is not really a challenge. The question is...how will Cheri do without a challenge?

Well let's be realistic--the above two won't even give me an inch (Tadpole and Mr Government
)!! It's like being a quarterback with them....the planned play fails and I gotta find the opening to run. However, your defensive players are doing a good job holding them off BUT you can't find the God damn opening to run. So you try to run one way and then the other......looking for that hole in the defense. But it just ain't there!! lol

Actually, I wish they would both give me just a millimeter sometimes.....but Mr. Fireman, I couldn't get to the phone to talk to him today. He was all self conscience that it was his voice or something he said. (hmmm....so is that how I sounded when I am insecure--not very attractive!!-lol) But I have to understand.....he's sincere. We'll have to see where it goes. Bad timing though. My mind is pretty content with other frogs right now! Feel asleep this afternoon and had this hot dream about tadpole....it was hot and intense...I have a feeling he is great in bed. Intense...definitely intense!!


Have a great day!!

Hornier Than I Can Take...

Well all this talk of my One Year Anniversary is making me re-live my adventures. And needless to say, I am having some laughs, sad moments and damn I have been getting horny and wet. Well I have come a long way in in one year BUT yet I feel I still have not pushed my limits very far.

I yearn to be able to P-U-S-H them where its exciting yet just on the edge of my limits. Well this webcamming has certainly given me a little taste of a new adventure. And, the cybersex has certainly been yummy. Of course, the fact that I love giving blow jobs is a fun and new discovery. I've learned about Kama Sutra (and even tried some positions with Mr. Government). I have podcasted to the world about my desires AND I've learned so much about myself sexually and well just in general (good and bad). I've also learned that I need to improve in my self confidence (something I knew but will take me some time).

So here I sit and want to push those limits just a tad. Make my one year Anniversary a little special and memorable as far as pushing the limits sexually. Frogs...not going to rely on them to be a part of this...oh, it would be great to see one this week...but I have to take the matter into my own hands. Hmmm....can't be just masturbating. Oh! That was a biggie this year...I learned that I LOVE to masturbate and really enjoy sex toys . So what can I do?

To many of you, the showing of flesh is not a big "push the limits" type of thing...but for me to show the world...its exciting yet scary. It also will test my confidence. So, I am going to test the waters this week. I am going to take some pix and see if I can put them up. Not easy for me but even if I leave them up for a few days...that will certainly be pushing my limits.

Damn,,,men have no problems whipping it out and their cocks always look hot (some better than others...some more inviting than others) but they always look damn good. Not sure my body will be as photogenic but I will see.....

So this week is a little memory down secret lovers lane. I am going to reflect back and see the highlights. Actually thanks to Dee's Joe....I had the urge to read my blog. You see, writing in it is like dumping my memories and I never look back. This week I will look back.

Okay, first pix is one that I posted awhile back.....clothed but my cleavage and of course the pix of my lips. It's a start....Have a great day!!

And Hale (It Occurred to Me) always comes to the rescue. That amazing man sends me the best cartoons for my blog. Thanks baby.....kisses and more kisses!!

Raising His Flames....Peacocks and Frogs?!?!

Well first the dress update-- I thought we were going to get kicked out of the store. I didn't get a dress but did I have fun trying some on. First, I went for the real potentials--there were 2 that were really nice (and in the running ). But then my girlfriend brought this one in that was all slits....then one with feathers....then we went for the ones that you see on the runway but no one would really wears them. well we all started trying them on and the tears were flowing. Easy access dresses absolutely.

At one point, my girlfriend said "okay this one is so you....the mixture of frogs and peacocks....a whole nature thing going on". My other girlfriend was like frogs, you like frogs? Since when are you into frogs? And she started going off on all these frogs she had growing up. Well now, my other girlfriend and I were gasping for air. I mean she went on and on about these frogs she had growing up and some turtle. I thought I was going to pass out from laughing so hard. Mind you, this was an upscale store but they tolerated us because my girlfriend is in there twice a month charging up the hubby's credit card. Financially she stepped in shit..but she is miserable too. She just buys and buys in hopes that it will fill her void. Doesn't work but I would love to try it for awhile!

Okay, I had said I was staying off of Ashley but it sucked me back in. Mr. Government hasn't been on in 10 days so I am feeling a little guilty (not much though--I think he's still an vacation--wanted to send me a note just to make sure I am still hooked). Well you can't leave me floundering in the water for too long....I'm quite the active fish and he better reel me in soon!!

Anyway, I met a fireman online. We have been chatting. He seems so sweet. No fire in his marriage (oh yeah you have to see all the fireman cliches coming). It seemed to sizzle out years ago (hee.hee). He's very free with talking to me about life. And I have been sitting back and just reading. Actually he commented on how he doesn't know that much about me. WOW! Now that is unusual. I finally sent him a pix....he had been so patient. And well, he obviously liked what he saw because he wrote very sweet things back. I told you, he knows my situation so this is going to go REAL SLOW!! Although, I would love to see the fire in his eyes...and who knows maybe we will have a raging inferno when our bodies join together (okay, enough fire jokes). But I would like to do a sex in the city scene....with just the suspenders, the hat.....mmmmm..this could be fun!!

Not going to bore you with the high profile man I met (I'm being sarcastic). Pompous ass. Honey, most men who feel they are high profile are usually high profile in their own heads and no one elses. Although Navigator was truly a high profile CEO internationally so there are a few exceptions. And high profile in one field, doesn't mean shit in another. "He writes don't ask for my pix and don't try to entrap me". hee. hee. So I sent him an email asking for his pic! And of course he sent it. Let's just say--he better re-think his approach because he ain't getting the woman with those looks. Bad personality + bad pic = LOSER. He had this hair thing going on and one of those bicycle handle bar mustaches and he sends one with no shirt and well....it wasn't working for me!! Funny how critical I get when a guy is an ass. If he was nice, I would never have ripped him apart.

Actually today I was talking to my girlfriend about my feelings. It all boils down to one thing. "I want to feel special in someones eyes." That's it. I want someone to look at me and have a look like he really is happy hanging with me and not afraid to tell me that. I want to bring a smile to someones face, have fun together and then return to "real life". Sounds so simple but it is so difficult. But, it's Sunday and you know my theory on Mondays--- a new week. A new beginning....I can't wait to see what this week hold for me.

It's my Anniversary!! I'll write more tomorrow. It was a year ago that I started my journey on secret lovers lane....WOW!! And looking back, its been a little rough at times, but overall its been a pretty great ride!

Sweet Wet Dreams!!

The Ultimate in MILF!

This Fall, I have a big day in my son's life. It's a big celebration and a huge party. We are talking a party that will run from $18,000-$26,000. It's like a damn wedding. Yes, in the midst of my crazy life (and secret life), I have been planning this huge event.

Now the guest list is 160 of our closes friends, family and his friends. From that, you kind of look for some cancellations....ummm...we have 1 cancellation so far.

Well I mention all this because tomorrow I am going looking for a dress. Actually two outfits for the day. One is for the ceremony, which is a very conservative dress. but you know me, I will have that lace somewhere. gotta have that lace.

But what I am really excited about is the dress for the reception. Well, I have decided already. I am going all out. You see mom's wearing these matronly outfits....oh that is sooo not me. Let's face it...I am going for the MILF look. The affair is in an offbeat place and I plan on making an entrance and having the time of my life.

So the goal...is a sultry blue or hot red dress (gotta match the color scheme). Long with a slit up the front and a real low back. Not that polyster crap but sequence and lace. And of course, my 36D breasts will be overly emphasized and placed in the dress so they will not be ignored!! Classy, sophisticated yet oozing with sexuality.... a Betty Boop dress...hee.hee

This is a day that I will never have again. For his wedding, his wife will dress me in a schlumpy motherly dress. So I am so excited to go shopping with my friends tomorrow. My girlfriend called me tonight and we were hysterical laughing. She found a dress that she said is screaming my name. "Guaranteed to have every man hard as a rock dress"...she called it. She didn't get it because it clashed with her hair....but she says its screaming for a blonde in it!!

So then I will have this expensive dress lying in my closet. But I decided it is not going to go to waste. I am going to wear it again...oh I have plans for that dress. MMMMM!!

As for my state of mind, I've calmed. And I realized it was not ONE thing that flipped me out but the whole week where I felt so cheap. Maybe I need to try to find non controlling men. Oh yeah! I am drawn to those damn Republicans....those military type. What is with that??

Enough....I gotta go do some situps.....have a great night...kisses

Are you tempted by the Cheri Tree??

Wow! What a very strange night last night was. Last night had sucked. I mean really sucked. I felt like a two bit whore that wasn't even worthy of any respect or even a phone call. A long story, but Tadpole didn't meet me. He had an emergency (a legitimate reason-he wouldn't make this up I'm 100% positive on that) BUT when he got the news--if he was planning to meet me, he should have already been on his way. And his attitude was what was the clincher. He didn't call, he didn't apologize, explain anything and actually seemed COLD and even annoyed that I questioned it. I was so taken by surprise by his icy attitude (I hadn't seen that side of him before). It just made me feel like trash. Like he didn't feel I was worthy of a call or an apology. Now we are flirting friends right now, hasn't progressed further than some hot cyber masturbation sessions and some really great phone talk. But I thought he had respect for me.

Here I was calling like a little excited school girl to see where we were going to meet and I got a "deal with it bitch" attitude I guess. I felt like ice water was thrown on me. I was in shock and so disappointed (and surprised that he wasn't on his way since he hadn't cancelled earlier in the day) And if it wasn't meant like that, he knew I was upset (I was too taken by surprise to respond in a cool collected way)....I always thought a friend who cares would at least apologize. Nope. Nothing. So I can say I am very hurt right now by his after actions. Nothing to do why we didn't meet but more of the handling of it. More of the fact that he knows that I am upset and frankly doesn't give a damn.

Well I found this song last night...kind of strange since Soulmate Chris really likes this artist and I didn't recognize the name until AFTER I found the song. And weirdly right after I loaded it, his IM lit up. Well I had felt like I was disrespected enough for one day---at least I didn't contact him for some additional mental abuse. Anyway, I was dying when I heard the song. It's about a whore named Cherry ....listen to it...it has great acoustics and you will get a great giggle from the words. It's for bad boys who are "Tempted by the Cheri Tree!!"
Josh Woodward

The end of the night was actually was real fun. Another day I will give full details but Curious George and I had a webcam session. Nothing gives me more of a high than a private (just me and him) session while I direct him in masturbating. Now, our meeting was AFTER he already played online and came already. So I pride myself in being able to have made him cum for the second time after a long night of performing online for others. Now that is a skill!! (hee.hee). With my words, I make his cock go from relaxed and hanging (and ready to go to bed for the night) to a nice stiff, hard cock....with just the typed words of the meeting we would have had yesterday. The thoughts that my my mouth might have been on his cock, the thoughts of us having dinner and the possibility of our own private session-- and boy did he cum. I find that so empowering..such a turn on. Would anything happen if we met? We would have a great time no matter what and in real life, take it slow.

Funny how the internet can speed a connection up into warped speed. Funny how the internet has opened me to a world I would have NEVER known. Funny how the internet, has made me walk on a path I would have never taken. Although I am experimenting and trying new things--my core is still a good girl. Is it possible for men to remember that?

Tadpole and Zorro

The angels are working overtime here on Secret Lovers Lane...yup, they knew the hubby was going out of town so they must have put in overtime for the week to keep me to be a good girl.

Wow, this is a hard post. It's strange to write something that you know the person you are writing about is going to read it. You see, most of the guys in my life do not know about the blog. So its easy to make a blog entry and write whatever I want. This one I hesitated because Tadpole reads my blog. Do I write what is in my heart? do I fluff it so he can't see what I am really thinking? I decided....to be true to my blog. Write what I feel even if it does expose things that I would never let him know if he were a man that I met.....so here goes:


I did have plans to meet Tadpole after work. I was really looking forward to it. Actually, I didn't know what the afternoon would bring--but we talk so much and he makes me laughs so much--I was really looking forward to grabbing a drink or coffee. Would it have turned into something more? I don't know. We are at a point where we are flirting friends leaning in the something more direction BUT not totally there yet. So what ever the day would hold--I would have enjoyed it. I had gotten an additional invitation to meet Mr. Fire (which I easily declined--I'm not into meeting someone new now and he is aware of that) and I call from my friends to go meet them early for some hooky shopping (they were taking off early to have a late lunch and shop at the mall). I turned both down because I was looking forward to my meeting with TAdpole.

Well, as you guessed by now, we didn't meet. An emergency came up at home (which I did understand. It was the truth because he wouldn't make up an emergency like that). But I was bummed and disappointed...I would have rebounded in ten minutes but as I was going through it in my head---it just didn't add up. It's complicated to explain but when he should have been on his way to meet me, he was still in his office.....someplace he said he wasn't going to be because he was leaving to meet me straight from a meeting. So if the emergency came up...he should have gotten the call on the way to meet me. And after he got the emergency call--he was still in his office not running home.

Stuck in traffic is not a good thing. You have too much time to analyze a situation. As I am driving, it hit me. He didn't even call me to let me know that he wasn't going to be there. It made me feel like he had no intentions of meeting me and he knew it earlier on since he was back in his office.

So, it doesn't matter..kind of confusing, but I am hurt. Part of me thinks the real reason is that he doesn't want to cross over that line...and that is fine, I would absolutely respect that and really it was just a meeting for coffee to talk and flirt. But not to call me? Not to apologize, say you feel bad....he really didn't say much. He had to sense that I was disappointed (even though I did understand). He was surprisingly like ICE. Actually he even sounded annoyed.

If you read my blog for awhile.....you know that I hate being lied to. It gives me a worthless feeling....like I was a piece of trash...like I am not even worth a call, an apology or the truth. Now that sucks. Acquaintance, Friend, Lover...whatever....why make a person feel bad? And even if you didn't mean to, why not try to make the situaton better?

On a side note, I spoke with Zorro and he said-- What did you expect?(or in other words--you deserve what you get--ouch, tough love). Well, you know how he feels about the men I meet. He gets furious with me because he thinks I have so much to offer.

His theory is that all the men on the hunt have wives, they don't want any form of friendship, they want to fuck and run. No respect, no care for the woman and who she is..fuck and run!!

I don't want to believe that. Yes, I do think there are some out there but not all. If that's the case, I'm done. Of course sex is a huge part of this whole affair thing but so is the fun, the flirting, the talking, the connection. That feeling that someone finds you attractive, that lustful feeling that comes alive. I disagree with him. Personally, its a lot easier to get a prostitute then if all they are looking for is a good blow job.

Oh well. I guess I will never understand men, probably why I get so easily bruised. Actually, I have decided to go to sleep. Yes, a Friday night and I am going to go up to bed. It was just a sucky week(and not in the blowjob sense).

A Night of Just Pleasuring ME!!!

Does your spouse know that you masturbate? Well my husband knows that I do because of the toys and I think he would die if he knew actually how often I do. Now this is the guy that I lay next to every night. Yet, sexually I do not feel comfortable with telling him anything. Oh, he knows I love it from behind but it took years until I admitted it.

I think that we are brought up in a society where "good girls" and "gentleman" don't share those things with their spouses. So that is why we are all here sharing it with the world (hee.hee).

So I was thinking this last night as I was lying in bed and couldn't resist a masturbation session. I was exhausted....I was content but its rare that I am home totally alone and I can just relax and enjoy. Yes, I took a long, relaxing bath. Those jets just soothe every inch of me except my nipples which poke out of the water. It is probably a funny site to see. I am underwater with two hard nipples just poking out onto the surface.

I was so relaxed when I got into bed. I love first getting into bed. I have all these huge pillows and luxurious blankets so its such a "aaaahhhhh" feeling when no one is around. An opportunity to sleep with just a silky lingerie (and no underwear)..... and no one next to me to try and violate me during the night. Funny, if there was someone else in that bed with me....the violation would have so been welcome. How amazing to be asleep and feel a man's hands on my ass and slowly making his way all over my body. Sensually arousing my sleeping senses. Someone arousing me and half asleep to role over and start screwing each other. Now that is desire, that is passion.... that is something I probably will never experience (lol)

My hand seemed to be a magnet last night....going straight for my clit. I love doing gentle circles and some light flicks with my finger. The juices began flowing immediately within me. When I get excited....I am amazed how my juices flow and its not with anyone. Sometimes the hubby can get me going....Mr. Government can always get me going. The anticipation alone of being with a hot man gets me going. Last night, I was thinking that there was a camera in my room...recording my masturbation session for the whole world to see with a helpful producer in my room of course to direct my moves. I would take direction from someone who was watching the cam. Following some strangers desires and wants.....I would be his...although we were thousands of miles away! With two fingers deeply thrusting inside of me, my body reached wild heights. I love that out of body feeling and then when my whole body starts to twitch. Satisfied and relieved....I rolled over into a sweet, sweet dream.

And now it is morning. Sadly, I could not meet Curious George. I have to get to my meeting now. Sweet Wet Dreams!! Possibly tonight, I will have a little meeting with Tadpole. i love talking to him...in fact, for some reason, I talk non stop with him. Tonight...he is going to do the talking...I am going to sit back and listen to him. Somehow the conversation always comes back in my court...of course he manages to always get a smart ass comment in. Laughter....that is the key in life. He makes me laugh! I wonder what else he could make me do??? Okay, not going there tonight. Tonight is a friendly cup of coffee.....yup just coffee...you know that black mud that keeps my engines reeved....coffee, coffee, coffee and...................................more coffee. (LOL)

I feel like doing nothing tonight!!!!

Now this is something I just came across... PCH BLINGO. You use their search engine and you win prizes for using their search engine. Check it out. Now, you need to click through here because I win the same prize if you win. so come on!!! I want my own IPOD!! hee.hee. Is it a scam? It doesn' t look like it. It seems like they want you to just use their search engine. So I am going to try it. And you should too and maybe we can win a prize!! Okay, I am by myself and obviously I am having way too much fun playing on the computer tonight!! Shouldn't I be out with a man screwing his brains out?!? you would think wouldn't ya!!

Actually this afternoon the stars came into align for me. No major break throughs just I think I needed some attention. I admit it....I have little temper tantrums sometimes. I like when there is direction..I hate lose ends...today the lose ends came together. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to meet Curious George tomorrow. Our timing is off again (sigh). But I may meet Tadpole for coffee after work. Now that will be fun. Some off the beat hidden coffee shop. I am in search of a place that isn't too far but no one we know will ever go to.

Mr. Fire emailed me again today and he's very sweet. May be potential there and guess who re-surfaced out of silence.....oh yes, Mr. Government. He was away on vacation and apologized that he didn't get back to me. Okay. He doesn't have to tell me. I know he doesn't HAVE TO TELL ME!! But he could have mentioned it. The man is so damn protective...so focused on not letting me in...so afraid that I might creep into his fucking heart. I was just worried about him. He so feels that he needs to control my emotions. Damn, just let me have fun. I'm not in love. I know the rules . Stop raining on my parade!!!!

He's not the type that you send erotic mail to. I don't know why....I kind of feel like anytime I show him affection he gets nervous. So I told him I hope he had a great vacation..."did you think of me at all? did you think of my lips on your cock just once during your vacation"

"Why do you do that?" I can hear him saying. LOL

Found this somewhat disturbing company online today. However, as the author of Secret Lovers Lane and Rendezvous Radio, I feel it is my duty to report it for your own safety and discretion (hee.hee.--now I am a reporter of serious facts!) I found this service online called Alibi Network. I guess if you are having an affair and you want to go away for a couple of days, this is a great alibi. You basically pick a seminar (they have hundreds of fake seminars that they just fill in the date) and they send it to you. Email your confirmation, even set up a telephone number to a fake hotel that you are staying at, even provide completion of certificates of the seminar.

Now they offer tons of different opportunties, ways to get out of meetings, breaking up with people, pretending you work somewhere.....you have your own personal alibi specialist where you can custom make each alibi. So why does it sound sooo sleazy? I guess it is the perfect cover up for a secret rendezvous. And reality is, its probably a better thought out plan but damn it just seems easier to say you are going shopping, late meeting etc. etc.

Okay it 's bath time in Cheri land. Damn, I wish someone could join me in my tub!!!!!! Now that would be one hot fantasy of mine. A hot man in my hot tub.....my escape....the candles, the lights flashing, the music, the erotic poetry book I read in there. I'm just missing someone to soap up my back (And whatever else they can manage to soap)!!

Ashley Madison visit, a vegetable an alternate dildo and frog update?!?

I notice that whenever I am feeling down, I end up back at Ashley Madison. I end up searching to see ifI am missing out on anyone. Well last night in my cranky pants mood (probably not the best time to go online and search for a man)...I went there. My mail has been piling up so I decided to take a look to see if I was missing anything worth my efforts.

The usual "lickyourpussy" nicknames are on there (why do men do that?). I am sure there are woman who are turned on by that, I guess they are looking for a certain woman type and that is why I do not respond to them. I find it disrespectful.

As I am looking, Curious George has tracked me down. He saw I was on and we started to IM. I felt like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar--I have been trying to stay away and there I was even doing a search on Ashley.

Well CG wants to meet for coffee--1/2 way. I didn't intend for my email to guilt him...he swears it didn't and that circumstances just worked out that way. He made me laugh and then Zorro--my best, best cyber buddy--came online to cheer me up. So by the time I went to bed, the frustration was settled and I was just a little sad. I try to be upfront, I find it so hard (and tiring) to try and read a guys mind.

So out of three weeks of emails, I responded to two. One was an egotistical guy who just pissed me off--figures--a lawyer! Going on and on and on how he isn't into BBWs and how if I was one I shouldn't respond and blah, blah blah.. Okay so this guy has issues. There was nothing on him, certainly nothing that made me say yeah!! I'm not a BBW--I want you!! In my mood, I responded back... (Readers Digest Version) I am not a BBW but honey I already have a good looking asshole at home....so thanks but no thanks.

The second one seemed nice. Lied about his location (he' s actually closer than he said). And he sounded sincere. Nervous about sending a pix...but I convinced him too. He is really cute. A fireman...hmmm..wasn't that one of my sexual desires?!? I've never done a fireman before. But I just emailed him back and told him that I am involved in something (not sure where it stands) so if he doesn't want to wait till I get it figured out--I understand. I am honest about that. Well I am not honest about it totally. Not going to tell him about the other frogs. Not going to tell him about each specific guy in my head--I kind of gave him a blanket approach. Sadly, its not good timing. Half the fun is the initial high and well I didn't feel that last night.

Well today, I am FREE!!! Officially, right now, I am FREE!!! First stop, the shower. Second stop, to straighten up and third stop work. Okay, that may sound like a boring list BUT today--if I straighten...I come home to a house that is exactly the way I left it. Aaaahhh!! The thought is making me wet!! hee.hee.hee. Okay, so maybe I will go upstairs and pleasure myself first. No concern about someone walking in. I can be totally naked on the bed.....wish I had my toy. He still hasn't returned them to me. rrrr..... well I can waste my time looking or I will just have to use my hands. Of course, I can be a little off. Hmmm....do I dare use an alternate dildo? I have never this done before. So what do I use? Okay, I am blushing now. Is that going into another fetish area....is there such a thing as vegetable fetish?? I have a yellow squash that is scary in the frig right now. I am looking in the frig as I type this (lol)...cucumber, a little too soft. Eggplant---oh man...no way!!! no carrots, no bananas... I will continue to look....
Have a great day!!

WANTED: One Simple Frog For SEX!!!!

ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

That is all I have to say tonight. After a tiring day at work, I return to a kitchen full of dishes and a screaming kid. I spent my drive home from work trying to figure out all the dysfunctional frogs in my life. And my conclusion.....................................

ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm tired of trying to figure out what they want from me. I'm tired of trying to figure out what is the right thing to do. I'm done. My patience tonight has reached its limits. It's not one person...its the combination of everything I think.

So, I am going for a walk, I am going to masturbate thinking about a hot man that is not in my life (hmmmm.....George Clooney, Jean Claude Van Damme)..I am going to take a bath AND in the morning.....I will be FREE for two days. Thursday and Friday. Yup! The family is going out for two days (unfortunately they shortened their trip to return late Friday night)....BUT it is two free days which I will end up being by myself. Kind of sad in a way because I am free but I refuse to let Mr. Government know and Tadpole is busy (or he just doesn't want to meet again for his own reasons). Curious George is a distance away and well we may never meet at this rate (he want me to come to him).

So they will just be ME days. Days to decide what I am going to do in my life. Days to maybe play hookie and go to the beach. Days to work overtime.

RRRRRRR!! Did you guess I am a little cranky tonight???? Why can't life just be simple!

A New Path on Secret Lovers Lane

A hard day at work. A hard day with the family. A hard day of feeling unappreciated, undesired, just BLAH. The weight of the world just seems to be on your shoulders. Everyone has baggage. Maybe a little different in everyones life--some baggage is heavier than others, some travel with less and some travel with more. But none the less, we all have our own baggage.

A drink after work to just unwind and escape for just a few moments before returning to "the real world". A moment to be able to step out of your life and just take a breath of fresh air. Across the bar, I am thinking the same thing. One drink, a few stolen minutes to gather my sanity before returning to the next chapter of my life (beginnning my second job). Returning to the reality of dinner, baths, bills, a humdrum marriage--SIGH--where are the years going? Is this the way life is suppose to be? A mechanical marriage. Going through the motions without any real emotions.

Our eyes meet from across the bar. We smile and I can feel my heart flicker just a bit. But it was enough for me to take a second look at the man across the bar. A look in his eye that seemed so familiar, a little sparkle --a little attraction. I decide to investigate a little further and head to the ladies room. As he does the same, we meet at the end of the bar. Yes, something about this man's eyes are luring me in. They seem sincere, they seem real, they seem to belong to a man that also has that void in his heart.

We introduce ourselves and we start talking. He buys me a drink and we settle down in the corner away from the crowded bar. He's handsome, he's sweet, he's personable and he makes me laugh...the attraction is getting stronger. He's married and his story is not much different from others I have met. Sadly we admit...the attraction is not in our marriages anymore. The passion, the sex, that intense connection--has long died leaving us a hole in our soul. Yes, he knows that hole...if you have it you know it. A feeling that you go through each and everyday working, family, errands.... a routine. A routine that does not include passion, lust or that flame that used to burn so strong. The flame has become a burned out forest..with just a few sparks left.

There's no time now to see if we can help each other--re-light a little of that flame and fill some of that void. Reality is calling (literally--spouses calling on the phone). We both have worlds waiting for us where kids need tending, garbage needs to be taken out and the dreaded interaction with our spouses about things that have to be done (and weren't). The flame seems to flicker, that hole seems to close just a tiny bit--as we say good by. He walks me to my car and as we say good by, I give him a kiss. Not intense, just a small one on the cheek and then a small one on his lips. I can feel the rush of energy go through my body. I can feel the gasoline that was thrown on the flame. I can feel my insides come back to life. Just from a kiss. And in his eyes, I can see the flame has also ignited.

We exchange numbers and plan to meet again. What the meeting will hold...only time will tell. But I do know this man has the potential to rekindle that flame. So we leave, go back to our lives and go through the motions but this time--it's not as bad--because there is a little secret emotion that is very tiny but a little alive within. Just enough to get us through a couple of days. Just enough to make us a little happier at home, just enough to let us be able to carry that baggage a little easier on our shoulders. Just enough to make us feel alive again--not living a black and white world but adding just a tint of color to our real world.

It's an escape--it's our own new path to Secret Lovers Lane!

Another Controlling Man..but he's not going to win!

"Cheri, I have a great lead for you. This one doctor was so interested in talking with you. He said he met you once and that he really wanted to discuss things with you further. I told him I would have you call him and set up an appointment for next week".

"Great! do you have his card?"

This is not unusual of a conversation between me and my boss. However, this time I looked at the card and DAMN....it was that doctor I met in the lunchroom and on the road. Another fucking controlling man...he was talking with my boss about me. Son of a bitch! He turned the tables so that I would have to call him.

Okay, I'll play (because I have to) but I am going to find out more about him than he will feel comfortable. So I asked my boss if he knew anything about him so when we met, I could make sure the conversation went well. He is married. Two kids (girls--I am not surprised). Actually lives on the water--likes fishing, likes golf, likes women. OH?!? So he fools around with other doctors and nurses?? My doctor thinks he is more of a flirty type. All the woman love him at the hospital. GREAT--another Don Juan!!

I am going to keep this one purely business. Sigh...he was hot BUT...I don't want the hospital gossip. Too many eyes and ears when someone is the main focus of every girls radar. BUT it can't hurt to flirt and not touch!! I called his office and I got his office hours. I scheduled an appointment for two weeks from now. Of course, I will just pop in late next week. When he doesn't expect me and this way it will be pure business.

Did I ever tell you my theory on men who are players? They always have two (or three) girls. I think its God's way of getting them back for all the little girls whose hearts they broke. Hmmm..what does around comes around. Whenever I run into an old boyfriend (my players int the past) they always had two girls. Pretty funny.

Okay, I am sooooo tired. Went out with my girlfriend tonight and we just bullshitted. She loves to hear about what is going on in my life. I gave her a quick update and we just laughed hysterical over some wine. I was trying to cheer her up (her dog got killed this week). It was one of those little lap dogs that was her baby. Very sad. Anyway, we laughed and I told her my many sagas.

Now there was only one bathroom, so you know woman go in together. So I go to pee (and I squatted)...she is like.....I can't believe you pee like that. Why not? How do you pee? We had a whole discussion on peeing. She says she can't do that, she has to sit. So I tease her..that's because you don't like to do anything but missionary. Damn, if you would do it from behind or get on top--you'd be able to pee like this. Well, tears were rolling down our faces and then we walked out. The guys outside were looking at us like we lost it. Aah! So much fun to hang with a friend. I truly have wonderful friends, I am very lucky. Only she and Mandy know my secret life and I am so glad they don't pass judgement.
Here's to best friends!!

Oops! Ashley Madison and Real World Collide

Well, yesterday my two worlds collided. I was in a store and was shopping with my kids when I turned to aisle and there in front of me was a guy from Ashley Madison that I had met a while back for coffee. He never even got a name and if he did, I don't remember it. It was one of those talk online a few nights, he lived closed so we decided to meet. We met and I didn't feel any chemistry. Nice guy....really cute but something wasn't clicking.

So when he looked up and saw me the blood drained from his face. He was there with his wife and his whole family. Now you know me really well and you know he had nothing to worry about but obviously he didn't know that. I just smiled and winked. Then went on with my shopping as if he wasn't there. Poor guy looked like he was a deer stuck in headlights. And his wife was just yacking away. Getting annoyed that he wasn't giving input to their selection. I kind of felt bad for him. She was extremely bossy and not very happy with his lack of interest. I truly hope I never sound like that. I really try not to ever sound like that.

Of course, we ran into each other in other aisles and I just kept looking for what I needed. He just kept staring at me...I was starting to worry that my older child was going to notice. At the checkout, our eyes met again. He smiled this time (realizing that he was not going to get busted) and I smiled back. Talk about a strange meeting. In a major store and we have our own little secret. A secret lovers lane secret!!! Like we are a hidden, underground club. No one knows except the members. Should there be a special sign? Should there be a special smile? Who knows.

Today he emailed me and thanked me for being so cool (I have just as much to lose). He emailed on and on and asked me for coffee again. It didn't work the first time, not going to work now. I sweetly declined.

Yup! I have been trying to be a good girl (well at least for me)! Mr. Government is his usual Mr. Government self. S-I-L-E-N-C-E. However, the good news is that he isn't on Ashley all week...so who knows where he is and what he is doing. Sometimes work takes him out of availability so maybe this is one time or maybe we are heading down that path of "guilt"again. I also have not answered any of my Ashley mail. I decided I am not complicating life anymore right now. There is no one guy right now but what I am dabbling in--is keeping me happy.

Why am I so insecure with guys? I admit it and I don't know why but I am very insecure when it comes to guys. Everything else in my life, I am very decisive, very confident and very outgoing but in a very sweet way. Funny, there is nothing in my past that should have ever caused this way I am about men. I actually came from a very loving and functional family. For some reason, I don't know why, I need constant re-assurance. A temperature check that things are okay, Any good shrinks out there that want to put me on their cyber couch!?!?

Okay today is quite a crazy, crazy day here.....my real life has me as a media darling today. Today is my 5 minutes of fame.....I can't get into it now (wanna wait till it passes) but let's just say I hope I don't show the additional 10 lbs. that tv is famous for!

OH my! One more thing. you know how I wrote about the McDonald's Iced Coffee the other day. Well obviously others were looking for its nutritional value as well. So poor innocent souls did a google search and found MY BLOG!! Can you imagine their faces when I compared 44 BJ's to an iced coffee, quoting the nutritional value in semen?? Oh boy! That must have been quite a moment in their lives. I'm sorry all you innocent people who must have been shocked by my blog (of course if you are reading this, you obviously have considered to look into my life a little further--hee.hee--wanna met for coffee???)

Cheri's Top 50 Sexual Desires and Discoveries

I had made a list awhile back when I hit my 100th post. Wow! This is my 300th post already and I have just hit my 40,000 visitor mark. Time flies when you are having fun! So to celebrate, I decided to take a look at my sexuality. What better a place to keep track of my wants, my desires than to share them with you.

I had started this blog as a way for me to keep track of my inner desires and to watch myself grow sexually. There was a time there when I thought I was asexual. The stress of life, a failing marriage all played a toll on my desires. As you know, I turned 40 and well I decided life was too short. The good girl needed to spread her wings (or her legs in this case). I wasn’t going to go blind from masturbating. In fact, in order to save my sanity, I needed to mentally get out of my marriage---and so I did!

So, a list of my Top 50 Sexual Discoveries and Desires

1) I love masturbating. I found masturbation two years ago and I love the fact that I can bring myself to such pleasurable orgasm..
2) I especially love my clit rubbed using my own juice as a lubricant
3) I get extremely wet when I am turned on by a guy. So wet that I get concerned its not normal for my juices to flow so freely.
4) I have never had anal sex. But with the right trusted partner, I would like to try.
5) I have found that my anus is a very sensitive area and I can have really intense orgasms from playing in that area. (Yes, my bullet has dabbled there)
6) I love kissing. I find kissing to be so sensual, so hot…such a turn on.
7) I am really into foreplay. To me, fucking is like the cherry on the sundae. You work your way up to the finale.
8) I have not been eaten out in years. Sadly, the guys I have met so far CLAIM they love it but when in bed--they don't seem deliver their advertisement!
9) My boobs are a 36D and my tits love to be played with, expecially my nipples.
10) In College, I did a lot of experimenting with whipped cream and one lover had a fetish with sour cream. Maybe trying dipping a cock in some caramel or hot fudge....aaah! a whole cock sundae sounds delicious on a hot day or even a cock pizza???!
11) I have very erect nipples when I get cold or excited.
12) My favorite position, which anyone who reads my blog knows, is from behind. I have the most intense orgasms when I’m doing it from behind
13) I am addicted to Ashley Madison. Everytime I get a message, I have to look because how could I let a man slip through if he might be my perfect secret lover?
14) A strong man with a warm heart is the biggest turn on
15) I love to please a man—finding what turns him on and going with it
16) I love to push a man to his limits—exploring new ground for both of us
17) I want to try light bondage. The thought of being tied up, blindfolded and enhancing my other senses is a real turn on (with a trusted partner of course)
18) I love my sex toys! If I ever get them back!!
19) I would love to be in a submissive role. Not crazy--just have a man totally run the show and his wish would be my command!!
20) I love an escape—real life is there but why do you need a constant reminder? A total romantic escape enjoying each other is just soooo perfect. An escape to Wonderland!!
21) I get turned on by threesomes (2 men and a woman AND 2 woman and a man). 22) I am not sure that I would have the guts to ever do a threesome, but maybe after I complete some of the above…it will be a natural progression.
23) I enjoy cybersex….not as much as I used to because I am getting bored with the same routine words. I am definitely a hands on type of person!!
24) I do enjoy directions. Both giving and receiving whether it be phone sex or cybersex. It’s a true turn on for someone to bring me to orgasm with just words.
25) Most of my role playing fantasies are pretty much basic. They involve me innocently being someplace and a stranger coming in and taking me (room service guy, gardener working on my lawn, milkman finding me masturbating on the couch and joining in, masseuses hands that unexpectedly wander---a real big one of mine) 26) I like watching a guy masturbate to my directions on webcam
27) In the right circumstances, I might do an anonymous webcam (but down the line)
28) I like to sometimes go to work with no underwear. Kind of a secret that no one knows but me.
29) I think that mutual masturbation is hot BUT I am too impulsive and would need to touch the other person.
30) I love to hear a man moan as I am sucking his cock like he's never had it sucked before!
31) I love to flirt but more importantly love to rub up against a guy to see if my flirting has given him a woody.
32) I like a man who takes control but I am not into any form of pain or humiliation. 33) I would like to try different types of role playing...play doctor, bad boy policeman--I'm open to all different fantasies--it would be fun.
34) I like to have FUN, FUN, FUN in bed with a lover. You have to laugh with each other (not at each other of course).
35) I love the thought of ravishing someone…hot and intense sex..now that is yummy!!
36) Slow and romantic can be nice too (with the right person and if it is sincere)
37) I find it arousing that someone would watch me and my lover screwing each others brains out.
38) I am not really into porn movies. I guess I find them to be very repetitious and fake. Can you recommend a quality one? I might change my mind on that.
39) I love to watch a man’s cock grow. I especially like to know its because of me!!! 40) I love watching a man stroke his cock as if it is a gem worth millions. So gently, so precise, so tasty!
41) Okay, here’s a disappointing for guys—I like a man to shoot his cum all over my body but I don’t love to swallow as much, I don’t like when I gag. Although at 5 calories…I might re-examine this one.
42) I love to seduce a man. Get him in a room and just start ripping his clothes off and attacking him or a slow seduction. I love to see the desire in a man’s eyes.
43) I would love to try some of those Kuma Sutra Sex positions.
44) I like a lover who is not totally selfish and is thinking about my needs too.
45) I love to massage a man’s body from head to toe. Relaxing every inch of him except for his cock of course (that I love super hard)!
46) Doctors, Cops, Firemen…..a man in uniform is a real turn on. Also a hot man of power in a suit is so enticing (although Donald Trump grosses me out with that hairdo he has going on).
47) I like to have sex in non conventional places…outdoors, in cars, an office….the risk of getting caught adds to the whole excitement. My fantasy is right on the beach by the waves.
48) The Ultimate Desire for me is to find a great friend who I am sexually attracted to. As a people person, I want to like the person I am with. To me, nothing is hotter than caring about the person you are with, trusting them and respecting them…and liking the person they are. (I know pretty sappy—but it turns me on!). Being comfortable with someone opens the world to endless sexual experiences!!
49) I would love to oil a man up and massage him and him do the same to me--and then we have intense hot, slippery sex.....
50)

I’m leaving 50 blank. Why you may ask? Because I am sure there are somethings that I have forgotten on this list. To me, its about experimenting, pushing the limits and having fun. Okay, so help me out here. Is there something you can think of that I might enjoy? Something I should try that is not on the list? Sadly, I haven’t accomplished many of the things that are on my list as far as new things. But who knows, Mr. Prince Charming may be lurking right around the corner. Of course, it would be fun to accomplish some of these even before he shows up!! So what have I forgotten??