Patience. Something I am lacking these days. Tolerance. I have absolutely no tolerance for stupidity. And that is what I am getting these days. The guy I liked who reminded me of MM, time restrictions ridiculous, he hasn't gotten a cell phone yet....basically says to me....no effort therefore.
My best friend knows this guy who she has been friends with for years. He has been looking to have an affair. And she finally said, we might be a good match. I spoke with him yesterday but quite frankly it seemed like an interview. i was laughing.....honey, it is not just your decision if I am right for you...BUT it is my decision if you are right for me. I was unimpressed by him.
Had lunch with Mr. P yesterday. I have been under the weather so we didn't have a meeting. His summer is packed with time off and vacations which are just coming out now. He gave me the schedule and it isn't pretty....we are not going to be able to see each other that much.
So originally, we were going to have a rendevous.....3 hour time frame. Then when I told him I wasn't feeling so great...we decided on lunch and he said...ok, I have time for a quick lunch...very fast. WAIT!! you had 3 hours and now only have time for a 1/2 hour lunch....I was pissed and of course I let him know. We ended up going for lunch and I played with him a little in the car. It was fun, we get along great but I feel a distance lately. Oh he says I am nuts. But I think its time for me to separate a little bit for the summer. Take a breather. Get used to not talking to him everyday....let him miss me a little bit.
What is left? Finding me this summer. I was going to go to a mediator tomorrow but I am sick and not sure if having the chills and going to a mediator is the best thing. I will postpone till next week when I am feeling better. But for now, I am going to concentrate on me a little more. Actually going to go for a walk in a few minutes. Sit out on my deck and relax while I read a book....take a little time to think about what I want in life.
It amazes me that it was being content with an affair that kept me from thinking about divorce. And honestly since MM has been gone, I haven't felt fulfilled and I have decided to pursue the mediation. Don't most women do it the opposite? find a lover and then want a divorce. No..I lose a lover and want a divorce. Honestly, none of the men I was with were ever going to leave their wives nor did I want or expect them to. I knew the rules of the game before and they were my rules too. But it was great to have mindblowing sex. Damn I do miss it.
My girlfriend and I went out to dinner and she said that she has had great affairs where they were all mindblowing. Hmmmm....am I missing something or is her definition of mindblowing different than mine? MM was hot....it was intense.....I get wet just thinking about us together...my body desires those orgasms, that mental stimulation and physical arousal. With other guys, the sex has been good (they think great..lol) but it hasn't been as great. So why is that? Damn its frustrating. I want to be frogged....no one else has frogged..lol... not sure what the frog is? Its him on his two feet in squatting position as my legs are over my head and he is deeply penetrating me from behind.....like he is hopping like a frog!! How ironic isn't it?
Okay off for my walk and some work. Talk soon!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The old FB Lawyer re-surfaces
Four men today and I was down to one. Fireman disappeared. He contacted me last night said he would let me know and then no word. The Plumber had an emergency and Mr. P was way too busy. I kind of knew it wasn't going to be easy so I let him have some room. And then there was the Facebook Attorney. We met for lunch amd there is an ice place here that three years ago we had wanted to taste all the flavors...a goal of the summer. Well now we decided to try it again.
Here's the thing about him. He is so damn serious. He barely smiles EXCEPT when he is with me because I purposely work to make him smile. He cracks up....he has a tough outside but I love to get those smirks and laughs. You are too much he laughed. I think I smiled more today than I have in three years. We went for the ices and spoon fed each other. There was some sexual tension between us and finally it was 2 hours later. He was shocked, he had an appointment but never imagined that our time together was going to last for so long. Puttimg the ices in my mouth...I started to tease him. Licking the spoon up and down...he basically moaned and took a deep breath. I was having so much fun. Then he reached over and kissed me. It was a good kiss, it was comfortable, it was really nice. He then moved in to kiss me again.
He called me later.....let's try again next week. I really enjoyed this afternoon. me too actually.
it was fun.
Innocent yet sexual.....mmmmm......I was singing and blasting the radio on the highway. A guy pulled up mext to me...and stared and smiled. Aaah...i was feelling gooooooood today. Very gooood today. Yes, Iwas singing Love Story by Taylor Swift.
Today was good for me...I feel good. And then Mr. P called.....we had a long talk that was nice. So today was a nice day.
Here's the thing about him. He is so damn serious. He barely smiles EXCEPT when he is with me because I purposely work to make him smile. He cracks up....he has a tough outside but I love to get those smirks and laughs. You are too much he laughed. I think I smiled more today than I have in three years. We went for the ices and spoon fed each other. There was some sexual tension between us and finally it was 2 hours later. He was shocked, he had an appointment but never imagined that our time together was going to last for so long. Puttimg the ices in my mouth...I started to tease him. Licking the spoon up and down...he basically moaned and took a deep breath. I was having so much fun. Then he reached over and kissed me. It was a good kiss, it was comfortable, it was really nice. He then moved in to kiss me again.
He called me later.....let's try again next week. I really enjoyed this afternoon. me too actually.
it was fun.
Innocent yet sexual.....mmmmm......I was singing and blasting the radio on the highway. A guy pulled up mext to me...and stared and smiled. Aaah...i was feelling gooooooood today. Very gooood today. Yes, Iwas singing Love Story by Taylor Swift.
Today was good for me...I feel good. And then Mr. P called.....we had a long talk that was nice. So today was a nice day.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Governor Mark Sanford...not an affair expert?
My oh my oh my. Governor Mark Sanford should be the poster child for Ashley Madison. I mean he is the perfect example of what NOT to do if you are having an affair. I feel sorry for the man, he got caught up in the affair. He got sucked into that excitement, that overwhelming desire and passion of having an affair. Now let's look at it here....the man left his state with no one knowing where he was for six days. Geez, come on, I don't care if you are Governor or a janitor of a building, people are going to notice that you are MIA. Crap, lie a little here. Call in...get a cell phone that you can use out of the country. Say you are going with some buddies to Argentina but you HAD to know someone was going to notice you were missing.
The line that made me feel bad for him was:
"Despite the best efforts of my head, my heart cries out for you."
How in the world this lightning strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure," he wrote, after praising the curve of her hip and her tan lines.
He got so caught up in the affair. The man lost his mind. He cared nothing about anyone or who found out. He had to know that he was going to get caught but he didn't care. For some reason I don't think he was rushing down there to break up with her as he had said. Realistically, that doesn't add up. Logically, she was either ending it and he couldn't handle it OR he just had to have her, couldn't wait any longer till their next meeting. The flashbacks were taking over, his penis was doing the thinking.
Yup, another politician who gave up his life for an affair. But you gotta admit, she is a beautiful woman at least. I mean Spitzer gave up his life for an escort. the ones who get hurt, are the kids. Sanford's four sons will have this follow them for the rest of their lives.
The line that made me feel bad for him was:
"Despite the best efforts of my head, my heart cries out for you."
How in the world this lightning strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure," he wrote, after praising the curve of her hip and her tan lines.
He got so caught up in the affair. The man lost his mind. He cared nothing about anyone or who found out. He had to know that he was going to get caught but he didn't care. For some reason I don't think he was rushing down there to break up with her as he had said. Realistically, that doesn't add up. Logically, she was either ending it and he couldn't handle it OR he just had to have her, couldn't wait any longer till their next meeting. The flashbacks were taking over, his penis was doing the thinking.
Yup, another politician who gave up his life for an affair. But you gotta admit, she is a beautiful woman at least. I mean Spitzer gave up his life for an escort. the ones who get hurt, are the kids. Sanford's four sons will have this follow them for the rest of their lives.
And Your Name Is..........?@?@?
With all the frogs in the Secret Lovers Lane pond the last few days, I am either not interested, forgetful and losing my mind or pre-occupied. I think I am not as interested as I sometimes am and I have a lot going on.
I was meeting my girlfriend for dinner but decided to stick a frog in between to just have coffee and meet. Met him at a local Starfucks and we chatted. He is not my type, nice guy but there was no chemistry on my end. He didn't feel that way though. He kept complimenting me on how gorgeous I was, how my breasts were amazing (well he did talk to my breasts a little..lol), how my eyes were gorgeous and I had the most beautiful face. Like I said nice guy with great taste but not for me. Here's the thing....he has a fake name on his yahoo. I forgot what his real name was. So here I sat, talking intimately with a man and there is no way to say....so what was your name again. Earlier in the day, he listened to me masturbate and cum. He heard the swooshing of my juices....so to say....so btw, what's your name?! Never fit into the conversation at anytime. LOL.
My girlfriend came, they met at the door..I was laughing. She was like...that's a cute one but not your type right? "Too bad I can't remember his name?" we started to laugh. I hadn't told her I was meeting anyone but she knew as he was walking out that he was a frog. My girlfriend and I grew up together...she's my sister even though we live so far away. No judging, just my best friend for life. I am definitely finding I am enjoying getting back in touch with my real friends.
During dinner, my phone was going wild. She was dying......The Facebook Attorney, the fireman, the guy I just left....Geez....is this what it would have been like if text existed when we were younger. And then Mr. Porsche.....we were fighting in the afternoon, reality is he has no time for me. So when he called I said, I am out for dinner with a friend. There was dead silence...oh really? Hmmm....a tone of jealousy from Mr. P...... because we were fighting (and he doesn't have the time) I hadn't mentioned my best friend was coming in from out of town for dinner. Okay, I admit it....I rode it for a few minutes chosing my answers carefully not to give away it was my girlfriend. Finally, I told him. "YOU WERE JEALOUS?!!" He knew I was getting annoyed with him and kind of threatening during the day that maybe I should see different people..his laid back attitude what I don't know won't hurt you ......didn't shine through when he knew. Call me later he said.....
I had two drinks and decided to grab some coffee on the way home. He spoke to me for a few minutes. A woman came over to the car saying her kids were in an accident and she needed to get to the hospital (oh poor thing).....get the fuck out of there NOW...he yelled at me. She's scamming, get out of there. And he was right when I thought about it. If it was that serious even if the police wouldn't come, she would have gone into Panera Bread. He saved me. I was going to leave but I was hesitating...boy, I am a sucker sometimes, I used to be so street smart.
He couldn't talk.....well, the drinks in me took over... OKAY, its fucking 10pm and you are in the office.....its never good, no matter what time it is ....what the fuck?! And then he blasted me. To say the least we are having a few issues..lol Today things are ok.
The fake Mystery Man guy is very funny. Same warped humor and I realized its his dark glasses that remind me of MM as well. yes, the tall, dark and handsome look with the dark glasses gets me each time. He has me rolling, he's so damn funny but its so strange...I don't think its a good idea. I am afraid I am doing the cutout pix thing. Like he's a substitution for him BUT that isn't going to work.
Hubby was home today. We had a huge blowout....school is trying something with my little one and we are suppose to follow through at home. When he didn't do it and was questioned, under his breath he said...why don't you just wait till I am out of the damn house to do it. Hmm..he didn't know I was in the next room when he spoke to my help and heard him. In a rage, I came out screaming...see, its being done now and quite frankly get the F out if you don't want to be here when we do it. I hate him. Oh, he was freaked that I heard him but too bad, it shows his character and who he really is. Truth is, he wants nothing to do with our two younger ones. Its sad, they are sweet kids. Somehow I am going to do this. Someway I am going to figure out how to make it on my own with my kids....so those who felt bad for the man, do ya still?!?!!!!?!
I was meeting my girlfriend for dinner but decided to stick a frog in between to just have coffee and meet. Met him at a local Starfucks and we chatted. He is not my type, nice guy but there was no chemistry on my end. He didn't feel that way though. He kept complimenting me on how gorgeous I was, how my breasts were amazing (well he did talk to my breasts a little..lol), how my eyes were gorgeous and I had the most beautiful face. Like I said nice guy with great taste but not for me. Here's the thing....he has a fake name on his yahoo. I forgot what his real name was. So here I sat, talking intimately with a man and there is no way to say....so what was your name again. Earlier in the day, he listened to me masturbate and cum. He heard the swooshing of my juices....so to say....so btw, what's your name?! Never fit into the conversation at anytime. LOL.
My girlfriend came, they met at the door..I was laughing. She was like...that's a cute one but not your type right? "Too bad I can't remember his name?" we started to laugh. I hadn't told her I was meeting anyone but she knew as he was walking out that he was a frog. My girlfriend and I grew up together...she's my sister even though we live so far away. No judging, just my best friend for life. I am definitely finding I am enjoying getting back in touch with my real friends.
During dinner, my phone was going wild. She was dying......The Facebook Attorney, the fireman, the guy I just left....Geez....is this what it would have been like if text existed when we were younger. And then Mr. Porsche.....we were fighting in the afternoon, reality is he has no time for me. So when he called I said, I am out for dinner with a friend. There was dead silence...oh really? Hmmm....a tone of jealousy from Mr. P...... because we were fighting (and he doesn't have the time) I hadn't mentioned my best friend was coming in from out of town for dinner. Okay, I admit it....I rode it for a few minutes chosing my answers carefully not to give away it was my girlfriend. Finally, I told him. "YOU WERE JEALOUS?!!" He knew I was getting annoyed with him and kind of threatening during the day that maybe I should see different people..his laid back attitude what I don't know won't hurt you ......didn't shine through when he knew. Call me later he said.....
I had two drinks and decided to grab some coffee on the way home. He spoke to me for a few minutes. A woman came over to the car saying her kids were in an accident and she needed to get to the hospital (oh poor thing).....get the fuck out of there NOW...he yelled at me. She's scamming, get out of there. And he was right when I thought about it. If it was that serious even if the police wouldn't come, she would have gone into Panera Bread. He saved me. I was going to leave but I was hesitating...boy, I am a sucker sometimes, I used to be so street smart.
He couldn't talk.....well, the drinks in me took over... OKAY, its fucking 10pm and you are in the office.....its never good, no matter what time it is ....what the fuck?! And then he blasted me. To say the least we are having a few issues..lol Today things are ok.
The fake Mystery Man guy is very funny. Same warped humor and I realized its his dark glasses that remind me of MM as well. yes, the tall, dark and handsome look with the dark glasses gets me each time. He has me rolling, he's so damn funny but its so strange...I don't think its a good idea. I am afraid I am doing the cutout pix thing. Like he's a substitution for him BUT that isn't going to work.
Hubby was home today. We had a huge blowout....school is trying something with my little one and we are suppose to follow through at home. When he didn't do it and was questioned, under his breath he said...why don't you just wait till I am out of the damn house to do it. Hmm..he didn't know I was in the next room when he spoke to my help and heard him. In a rage, I came out screaming...see, its being done now and quite frankly get the F out if you don't want to be here when we do it. I hate him. Oh, he was freaked that I heard him but too bad, it shows his character and who he really is. Truth is, he wants nothing to do with our two younger ones. Its sad, they are sweet kids. Somehow I am going to do this. Someway I am going to figure out how to make it on my own with my kids....so those who felt bad for the man, do ya still?!?!!!!?!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
REALITY..
I admit it...the last two days I have gone wild on Ashley Madison Because here is the reality.
Mystery Man doesn't care at all and doesn't even think about me...he's blocked me out. And I was so unprepared for it to come to such an end. I am fighting the closure. No doubt he is on Ashley as an alias and fucking around by now. Lucky girl!
Mr. P- is too busy for me and has pulled away a little bit. Truth be known, I knew he wasn't going to be able to give me all the attention and sex I crave. His work schedule is too busy AND I need MM sex. No doubt, I have to search for another MM.
And so the search began......emailing man after man after man....and last night I chatted with a few. Picked myself up a boy toy. Convinving him that i was too old for him yet looking at his hot body....I was getting drenched. He was almost convincing but I have someone else for him. A friend who is single and young. He didn't want to know from that but I have to give him away..lol
And then the avalanche hit today......the married, the single...the super hot, the sophisticated. Men with PhDs to men who wouldn't even know what the letter meant. Bulging muscles to bulging brains and in between. My email was donging all day today. Hardly could get anything done. The MM look a like was texting all day (gotta think of a better name)....then there was the old Fireman, the Facebook Attorney and The Plumber. All I am suppose to meet this week for lunch...I ran out of days.
And then a whole crew of newbies. Sorting them by those that entertain me..dumping those that are scary and highly obnoxious. and then there was the one who ordered a picture from me. Interesting approach, I won't talk to you until you send a pix to this email.....oh really?!?! Well baby doll, it doesn't work that way for me. So I sent him a note....well since you were rude enough not even to say hi, i will say hi! It was a pleasure to meet you but I don't work that way. i see you are single and you have a pix. Handsome but you better learn how to treat a lady. so here is my pix, my dear, so you can see who you were such a rude ass too.
And he responded, apologized and said he gets all these cooky girls sending him notes and he's not a text person. He gave me his telephone number. I don't think so. His loss, if he is that rude before we meet, can you imagine his attitude after we were together for awhile.
So, I have a few meetings, I have potentials......and I feel ok. Nothing has changed here. Wish you could go back in life but I have to say....the one thing I did learn was that at least I enjoyed what i had in the end. You see, past times with MM, I was upset that he might leave again, I had dwelled on that and it ruined what I had. At least the last time, i totally enjoyed him and us. I was more relaxed, I cherished the flashbacks...no anxiety, no worries. So, I even wrote, I finally felt balanced and enjoyed it.
So Cheri's Aesops Fable for the day---Enjoy what you have and not worry about what sadness tomorrow will bring. Because its important to enjoy what you have in the present..tomorrows worries and troubles will eventually come.....
So which one do I do? hmmmm.....
Mystery Man doesn't care at all and doesn't even think about me...he's blocked me out. And I was so unprepared for it to come to such an end. I am fighting the closure. No doubt he is on Ashley as an alias and fucking around by now. Lucky girl!
Mr. P- is too busy for me and has pulled away a little bit. Truth be known, I knew he wasn't going to be able to give me all the attention and sex I crave. His work schedule is too busy AND I need MM sex. No doubt, I have to search for another MM.
And so the search began......emailing man after man after man....and last night I chatted with a few. Picked myself up a boy toy. Convinving him that i was too old for him yet looking at his hot body....I was getting drenched. He was almost convincing but I have someone else for him. A friend who is single and young. He didn't want to know from that but I have to give him away..lol
And then the avalanche hit today......the married, the single...the super hot, the sophisticated. Men with PhDs to men who wouldn't even know what the letter meant. Bulging muscles to bulging brains and in between. My email was donging all day today. Hardly could get anything done. The MM look a like was texting all day (gotta think of a better name)....then there was the old Fireman, the Facebook Attorney and The Plumber. All I am suppose to meet this week for lunch...I ran out of days.
And then a whole crew of newbies. Sorting them by those that entertain me..dumping those that are scary and highly obnoxious. and then there was the one who ordered a picture from me. Interesting approach, I won't talk to you until you send a pix to this email.....oh really?!?! Well baby doll, it doesn't work that way for me. So I sent him a note....well since you were rude enough not even to say hi, i will say hi! It was a pleasure to meet you but I don't work that way. i see you are single and you have a pix. Handsome but you better learn how to treat a lady. so here is my pix, my dear, so you can see who you were such a rude ass too.
And he responded, apologized and said he gets all these cooky girls sending him notes and he's not a text person. He gave me his telephone number. I don't think so. His loss, if he is that rude before we meet, can you imagine his attitude after we were together for awhile.
So, I have a few meetings, I have potentials......and I feel ok. Nothing has changed here. Wish you could go back in life but I have to say....the one thing I did learn was that at least I enjoyed what i had in the end. You see, past times with MM, I was upset that he might leave again, I had dwelled on that and it ruined what I had. At least the last time, i totally enjoyed him and us. I was more relaxed, I cherished the flashbacks...no anxiety, no worries. So, I even wrote, I finally felt balanced and enjoyed it.
So Cheri's Aesops Fable for the day---Enjoy what you have and not worry about what sadness tomorrow will bring. Because its important to enjoy what you have in the present..tomorrows worries and troubles will eventually come.....
So which one do I do? hmmmm.....
Monday, June 22, 2009
A Meeting at where else--StarF*cks
Amazing how Starbucks is such the meeting place. Two additional meetings were going on when our meeting was going on.....lol you could hear them talking, first dates. Of course, we were the only first married dates. The others in there were talking about their careers, their divorces and one was even discussing how his medical was distributed and his child support (now that is a turn off).
Scarily the new guy mentioned Underdog...okay, he hit me and Mystery Man on the head...very scary with all the same mentioning of all the same characters that were a part of my affair with MM. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that it was MM. He would mess with me like that --but he wasn't.
I was nervous about meeting. I haven't been feeling confident lately. I think I have been fearing rejection. Having gained some weight, I haven't been feeling sexy at all. Here was a guy who seemed like there would be some potential....OMG....what happens if he wasn't interested.
I wasn't myself...its been awhile since I have met someone really new. I think I have been avoiding it. Partially because I felt like such a whore after MM. Maybe in the back of my mind, I had hoped he would come back and I wouldn't have been with anyone new this time. But it looks like he has decided to stay away forever. Anyway, this new guy, who is hysterical...he decided he wanted to meet today....YIKES! but I liked him, he was entertaining.
We met at Starbucks and he was handsome. Not drop dead gorgeous but a nice body and handsome. something about him. I admit, he looked a little like MM which is a little concern. today he called from a phone booth which I didn't even know they still existed. Putting the dimes in I just laughed through the whole conversation....every two second the woman interrupting, it was a riot.
We talked about a few things. Today (as the woman was interrupting) he spoke about his boy who was his buddy who had chemo a year or so ago. Oh my, poor baby...my heart ached for that child and I felt for him. I didn't bring it up until halway through the conversation (I wasn't on as much as I usual am because I felt so self conscious). And then, I turned to him and said "I am so sorry about your boy having the tumor and the chemo"...with my caring eyes and holding his arm, I understand what it is like for a sick child and to have to hide the medicine. Its so cute that you call it a Scooby Snack Bologna. " Sympathetic eyes as well but I also felt bad because I thought he had said he had two girls and I thought I didn't remember our emails correctly.
He looks at me and said "it wasn't my boy it was my dog. He's my buddy and I hide the pills in the Bologna. the dogs name is Scooby". OH MY GOD!! I smacked him on the arm and we both started laughing. the operator had come on this afternoon when he had said dog and I thought he said boy. I thought the Scooby Bologna was a cute thing he did with his kid. It was hysterical. I felt so stupid but was laughing so hard tears were coming to my eyes. Only me! another I Love Lucy moment.
So we didn't have long but at least we got to meet. I was so glad that we were able to meet each other. and then we left. He dropped hints that he liked me but you never know. And usually after you leave if you like each other, you drop a note. Well, it had been 4 minutes and no text. i was feeling insecure. And then came the text...."I am so glad we met and you are so damn sexy. I wanted you so badly, more than I had ever thought I would. I hope you felt the same". And a feeling of relief came over me. So i still have it? I actually confessed to him my insecurity telling him how when my dad got sick, I gained weight and was trying to lose it and not feeling great about myself. his response "are you serious? you are gorgeous, you should look in the mirror more often". And thinking to myself...oh i do and I see the extra imperfections....lmao
I agreed to see him again. go slow I told him and meet for lunch. He wrote back...I want you!...So I walked out feeling really great and feeling great tonight. But here's the thing. He can't escape during the day at all and he can't talk on the phone. Wife pays bill and at work there are too many people around. He can only meet, not even after work because he takes his kid but at 8 at night. That has to be the worst time for me in existence. And never any phone contact? Hmmmm.....not what i was looking for. So, there are a few roadblocks here that I am not sure they are going to work. Unless he can meet on the weekend, it is not looking that good for us.
But I did feel good and thought..maybe I am still hot. Wooo Hooooo!!! LOL
Scarily the new guy mentioned Underdog...okay, he hit me and Mystery Man on the head...very scary with all the same mentioning of all the same characters that were a part of my affair with MM. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that it was MM. He would mess with me like that --but he wasn't.
I was nervous about meeting. I haven't been feeling confident lately. I think I have been fearing rejection. Having gained some weight, I haven't been feeling sexy at all. Here was a guy who seemed like there would be some potential....OMG....what happens if he wasn't interested.
I wasn't myself...its been awhile since I have met someone really new. I think I have been avoiding it. Partially because I felt like such a whore after MM. Maybe in the back of my mind, I had hoped he would come back and I wouldn't have been with anyone new this time. But it looks like he has decided to stay away forever. Anyway, this new guy, who is hysterical...he decided he wanted to meet today....YIKES! but I liked him, he was entertaining.
We met at Starbucks and he was handsome. Not drop dead gorgeous but a nice body and handsome. something about him. I admit, he looked a little like MM which is a little concern. today he called from a phone booth which I didn't even know they still existed. Putting the dimes in I just laughed through the whole conversation....every two second the woman interrupting, it was a riot.
We talked about a few things. Today (as the woman was interrupting) he spoke about his boy who was his buddy who had chemo a year or so ago. Oh my, poor baby...my heart ached for that child and I felt for him. I didn't bring it up until halway through the conversation (I wasn't on as much as I usual am because I felt so self conscious). And then, I turned to him and said "I am so sorry about your boy having the tumor and the chemo"...with my caring eyes and holding his arm, I understand what it is like for a sick child and to have to hide the medicine. Its so cute that you call it a Scooby Snack Bologna. " Sympathetic eyes as well but I also felt bad because I thought he had said he had two girls and I thought I didn't remember our emails correctly.
He looks at me and said "it wasn't my boy it was my dog. He's my buddy and I hide the pills in the Bologna. the dogs name is Scooby". OH MY GOD!! I smacked him on the arm and we both started laughing. the operator had come on this afternoon when he had said dog and I thought he said boy. I thought the Scooby Bologna was a cute thing he did with his kid. It was hysterical. I felt so stupid but was laughing so hard tears were coming to my eyes. Only me! another I Love Lucy moment.
So we didn't have long but at least we got to meet. I was so glad that we were able to meet each other. and then we left. He dropped hints that he liked me but you never know. And usually after you leave if you like each other, you drop a note. Well, it had been 4 minutes and no text. i was feeling insecure. And then came the text...."I am so glad we met and you are so damn sexy. I wanted you so badly, more than I had ever thought I would. I hope you felt the same". And a feeling of relief came over me. So i still have it? I actually confessed to him my insecurity telling him how when my dad got sick, I gained weight and was trying to lose it and not feeling great about myself. his response "are you serious? you are gorgeous, you should look in the mirror more often". And thinking to myself...oh i do and I see the extra imperfections....lmao
I agreed to see him again. go slow I told him and meet for lunch. He wrote back...I want you!...So I walked out feeling really great and feeling great tonight. But here's the thing. He can't escape during the day at all and he can't talk on the phone. Wife pays bill and at work there are too many people around. He can only meet, not even after work because he takes his kid but at 8 at night. That has to be the worst time for me in existence. And never any phone contact? Hmmmm.....not what i was looking for. So, there are a few roadblocks here that I am not sure they are going to work. Unless he can meet on the weekend, it is not looking that good for us.
But I did feel good and thought..maybe I am still hot. Wooo Hooooo!!! LOL
Wow, very bizarre coincidences
I had been writing back and forth with a gentleman on Ashley Madison but with my crazy work schedule I really didn't give him much attention. When I first saw his picture, I hesitated...he reminded me of Mystery Man. My guard went up....tread lightly here....but truth is, he is my type. So I started to write back and forth with him this weekend and the man is sooooo entertaining, quick witted and fun. Scarily, the same sense of humor as Mystery Man. We are talking exact sense of humor. Except the talk hasn't gotten sexual yet and he is a newbie at this. But the conversation was like a trip to an amusement park in my brain.
And it hit me. That is it...while a physical connections is key...it is a man who can mentally stimulate me with quick witted, educational responses that REALLY turns me on. Now security man has it (explains why now I was attracted to him) and this new fireman has it...but Mystery Man was the King of it. His quick witted responses and back and forth emails made me feel like there was a party going on in my brain!! Amazing how I find that so hot!
Now here is the eerie part. He keeps talking about strange things. When I say strange (don't get nervous)...I mean about Batman and Superman and Scooby Doo!!!!!! Those were the private jokes of MM and I. These little comments have been setting me off balance a little. Obviously the comments were not the same but these aren't your everyday comments....The Brady Bunch? Come on.....he is wired like MM...lol I had this excited feeling that it was MM and that he was playing with me and we would meet and it would be him. That would be funny and I would deserve it (and you know I wouldn't be disappointed, I would be very happy).
Well this guy doesn't have daytime flexibility...actually he can't meet during the day so things will be a little harder and he wants to meet tonight for coffee. I am thinking about it.
As I have said before, I have always done things in doubles. My live in boyfriend before my husband had the same name as my husband. I always joked..I knew the name just got it wrong the first time (and as we know now..the second time as well..lol)
Being alone this weekend was really good for me. got a lot done in the house, discovered that i like the solitude. A few more fixings and I will be okay. Got my list to be able to complete it. I am in a much better state of mind.
And it hit me. That is it...while a physical connections is key...it is a man who can mentally stimulate me with quick witted, educational responses that REALLY turns me on. Now security man has it (explains why now I was attracted to him) and this new fireman has it...but Mystery Man was the King of it. His quick witted responses and back and forth emails made me feel like there was a party going on in my brain!! Amazing how I find that so hot!
Now here is the eerie part. He keeps talking about strange things. When I say strange (don't get nervous)...I mean about Batman and Superman and Scooby Doo!!!!!! Those were the private jokes of MM and I. These little comments have been setting me off balance a little. Obviously the comments were not the same but these aren't your everyday comments....The Brady Bunch? Come on.....he is wired like MM...lol I had this excited feeling that it was MM and that he was playing with me and we would meet and it would be him. That would be funny and I would deserve it (and you know I wouldn't be disappointed, I would be very happy).
Well this guy doesn't have daytime flexibility...actually he can't meet during the day so things will be a little harder and he wants to meet tonight for coffee. I am thinking about it.
As I have said before, I have always done things in doubles. My live in boyfriend before my husband had the same name as my husband. I always joked..I knew the name just got it wrong the first time (and as we know now..the second time as well..lol)
Being alone this weekend was really good for me. got a lot done in the house, discovered that i like the solitude. A few more fixings and I will be okay. Got my list to be able to complete it. I am in a much better state of mind.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The InEvitable End To The Marriage
Things at home have been coming to a head. Divorce is mentioned at least twice a day. The tension is out of control. The truth is he realizes it is just a matter of time at this point. He's waiting for me to make the move.....and I am scared. My house is unorganized, my life is not easy.....I wish there was a way I could see how tough it is going to be.....its now or never I think. I need to do something...
The good news is tonight he is out of town with my son. Another child at my parents and one is home with me. So I will have the opportunity to straighten up a little bit and honestly...have a little mental health time. Time alone in this house and alone in my bed.....Mmmmmm...I can't wait for some freedom. And within the time I started to write this...the freedom is interrupted....we may have a sick kid at my parents (crap..I almost got a few hours to myself!)
While I should be out partying...I have chosen to re-do the kitchen cabinets...now isn't that hot?!?
I've been thinking so much the past few days that my head is hurting. I wish I had a crystal ball to see what the future holds. Sitting out on my deck, my neighbor called over and we start talking. Now keep in mind, no one knows about this life so when we were talking and she said to me..you should write a book. Your life is so interesting and an inspiration for women. OH MY!! I couldn't help but laugh. In real life, I guess I have accomplished a lot to be proud of. I have some funny moments which I like to think of as I Love Lucy moments BUT if she only knew the other side of me. Now there would make an exciting book...the respectable woman leading a secret life....hmmmm....it's tempting but impossible to do. The two lives must never meet. And there is already a new movie coming out called Cheri so my title is taken already....lol
I just got back from the supermarket and I ran into my high school social studies teacher. Wow, he has to feel old. Ironically, he remembers me...I didn't think he would. I remember very few of the names of faces of my students, but you I remembered. Always so sweet, so good, a perfectionist when it came to her work. AND honestly, you look exactly the same. WOW, now I like this teacher. I liked him then but to think he thinks I look like I did when I was 16....now I felt great. Honestly, its funny how we started to talk and I was proud to be able to say that I turned out to be doing important things in life. He was proud, it was sweet to see. I guess its rewarding to see when your student turns out well in life and that I even am involved in the governmental policies he taught me....how funny! But the fact that he recognized my face and that my hair was just cut differently and shorter....at this point in life, almost 30 years later....WOW now that to me is priceless!!!
The good news is tonight he is out of town with my son. Another child at my parents and one is home with me. So I will have the opportunity to straighten up a little bit and honestly...have a little mental health time. Time alone in this house and alone in my bed.....Mmmmmm...I can't wait for some freedom. And within the time I started to write this...the freedom is interrupted....we may have a sick kid at my parents (crap..I almost got a few hours to myself!)
While I should be out partying...I have chosen to re-do the kitchen cabinets...now isn't that hot?!?
I've been thinking so much the past few days that my head is hurting. I wish I had a crystal ball to see what the future holds. Sitting out on my deck, my neighbor called over and we start talking. Now keep in mind, no one knows about this life so when we were talking and she said to me..you should write a book. Your life is so interesting and an inspiration for women. OH MY!! I couldn't help but laugh. In real life, I guess I have accomplished a lot to be proud of. I have some funny moments which I like to think of as I Love Lucy moments BUT if she only knew the other side of me. Now there would make an exciting book...the respectable woman leading a secret life....hmmmm....it's tempting but impossible to do. The two lives must never meet. And there is already a new movie coming out called Cheri so my title is taken already....lol
I just got back from the supermarket and I ran into my high school social studies teacher. Wow, he has to feel old. Ironically, he remembers me...I didn't think he would. I remember very few of the names of faces of my students, but you I remembered. Always so sweet, so good, a perfectionist when it came to her work. AND honestly, you look exactly the same. WOW, now I like this teacher. I liked him then but to think he thinks I look like I did when I was 16....now I felt great. Honestly, its funny how we started to talk and I was proud to be able to say that I turned out to be doing important things in life. He was proud, it was sweet to see. I guess its rewarding to see when your student turns out well in life and that I even am involved in the governmental policies he taught me....how funny! But the fact that he recognized my face and that my hair was just cut differently and shorter....at this point in life, almost 30 years later....WOW now that to me is priceless!!!
Enjoying It From Behind and In The Behind...
Mr. P and I only had 1 1/2 hours. So, we could spend the time fighting or fucking. Hmmmm...I chose the fucking. I meam our problems were going to be there either way. We could have discussed chore and whore for hours but I decided (amd of course he agreed) that it was more fun to have sex.
He walked in and looked at me and grabbed my cheeks. "You my dear are not a chore or a whore. I look forward to our time together and I respect you. Really, if I wanted just a whore....you would not be my choice." I looked at him surprised..was I not a good lover?!? He laughed at me and kissed me...baby, a whore is no maintenance and serves their purpose. You are my friend, business confidante, great lover and very, very high maintenance!!" We both laughed. Yea, I had my moments.
Actually the sex was amazing. His kisses were more sincere, he was very attentive and instead of our usual S&M, hypnotizing and other fun stuff....today was more vanilla sex. Oh my..except for the anal...
Today we did a wide range of sexual positions....with him thrusting inside of me with my legs in the air, with my legs straight up and of course from behind...mmmm....funny thing...my underwear was on the bed as he leaned me over and thrusted deep, so deep...when Mr. P is hard..baby he is super hard with lots of girth. So leaning over..I was just about to orgasm as he had one finger playing with the rim of my ass when I breathed in deep....the string from the crotchless underwear sucked down my throat...it was hysterical.....the string was all the way down my throat...I had to pull it out...so I began to orgasm and my body now stopped and I was laughing hysterical...
Next he was determined to make me really cum and he knows anal sex...takes time with me but when i get there I am flying high. He slowly, very slowly began playing...putting his head right at the opening...I took a breath...oh I need to relax, really relax...one minute...give me a second....and he did....and slowly began again...it took awhile, it actually too him saying I am in baby, relax...and then I did and he really went in but I was ok....he was pumping and pumping and I began to sweat and moan...I love when my body reacts without my head having control. This was my body reacting to him...I was somewhere else.....and he was thrusting deeper and deeper..it felt really good....and then his hand began to play with my clit...oh that was it..my body began to spasm...screams of joy and pleasure...you love it when I fuck you in the ass, he laughed. Yes, I did...definitely did.
there was no cuddle time....we had to clean up and I had a meeting. Rushing around, we showered together....and we kissed. I want you to work for me on that project. Hmmm...he didn't want me to work on it when I begged him, now I decided I didn't want to do it and now he wanted me to!?!?!! I finally backed off and left him alone and I was content not doing it for him....and now he changed his mind?! "No..I don't want to". He started pushing and I was like no. Now we are laughing because the roles were reversed. I told him we will talk tomorrow if you want me to do it, we will see. I didn't want to talk business, I wanted to kiss passionately. I love when he holds my face and kisses me...its hot. And after our shower, I quickly dressed and actually gave him a present. I hate that he walks around with his money in his pocket unorganized...I bought him a Coach money clip. So few things that I can buy a lover and quite frankly I had bought things for Mystery Man in the past but never gave them to him. I didn't think he would want it when we got there because he was so secretive. I once saw this cool bracelet....it was a stainless steel and rubber...really cool. I bought it for him but didn't give it to him, timing wasn't right. So he loved the gift and I was off with a quick kiss....
Hmmm....thinking about this business thing..I realize now why the tables have turned. Bottom line...it's control. I think I didn't want to help him anymore because it was a real tie if we began the project and I feel we are drifting. And now that I think about it, I wonder if he wants to do the project now because he feels the same thing...except reverse. If I work for him, there is a control thing there and he knows I would never walk away from a work agreement without finishing it. A way for him to be in more control. Actually when I did work for him he was in a lot more control. I couldn't walk away as easily as I could now. Is that why he out of the blue changed his mind? I have a feeling it is (whether he realizes it or not).
Now you would have thought he would have been a little more accommodating the next day. He can be a pain in the butt...he didn't call till late to say have a nice weekend. we have always done that for 1 1/2 years....oh well..it is what it is and who the hell knows what that is...but I did have fun.
He walked in and looked at me and grabbed my cheeks. "You my dear are not a chore or a whore. I look forward to our time together and I respect you. Really, if I wanted just a whore....you would not be my choice." I looked at him surprised..was I not a good lover?!? He laughed at me and kissed me...baby, a whore is no maintenance and serves their purpose. You are my friend, business confidante, great lover and very, very high maintenance!!" We both laughed. Yea, I had my moments.
Actually the sex was amazing. His kisses were more sincere, he was very attentive and instead of our usual S&M, hypnotizing and other fun stuff....today was more vanilla sex. Oh my..except for the anal...
Today we did a wide range of sexual positions....with him thrusting inside of me with my legs in the air, with my legs straight up and of course from behind...mmmm....funny thing...my underwear was on the bed as he leaned me over and thrusted deep, so deep...when Mr. P is hard..baby he is super hard with lots of girth. So leaning over..I was just about to orgasm as he had one finger playing with the rim of my ass when I breathed in deep....the string from the crotchless underwear sucked down my throat...it was hysterical.....the string was all the way down my throat...I had to pull it out...so I began to orgasm and my body now stopped and I was laughing hysterical...
Next he was determined to make me really cum and he knows anal sex...takes time with me but when i get there I am flying high. He slowly, very slowly began playing...putting his head right at the opening...I took a breath...oh I need to relax, really relax...one minute...give me a second....and he did....and slowly began again...it took awhile, it actually too him saying I am in baby, relax...and then I did and he really went in but I was ok....he was pumping and pumping and I began to sweat and moan...I love when my body reacts without my head having control. This was my body reacting to him...I was somewhere else.....and he was thrusting deeper and deeper..it felt really good....and then his hand began to play with my clit...oh that was it..my body began to spasm...screams of joy and pleasure...you love it when I fuck you in the ass, he laughed. Yes, I did...definitely did.
there was no cuddle time....we had to clean up and I had a meeting. Rushing around, we showered together....and we kissed. I want you to work for me on that project. Hmmm...he didn't want me to work on it when I begged him, now I decided I didn't want to do it and now he wanted me to!?!?!! I finally backed off and left him alone and I was content not doing it for him....and now he changed his mind?! "No..I don't want to". He started pushing and I was like no. Now we are laughing because the roles were reversed. I told him we will talk tomorrow if you want me to do it, we will see. I didn't want to talk business, I wanted to kiss passionately. I love when he holds my face and kisses me...its hot. And after our shower, I quickly dressed and actually gave him a present. I hate that he walks around with his money in his pocket unorganized...I bought him a Coach money clip. So few things that I can buy a lover and quite frankly I had bought things for Mystery Man in the past but never gave them to him. I didn't think he would want it when we got there because he was so secretive. I once saw this cool bracelet....it was a stainless steel and rubber...really cool. I bought it for him but didn't give it to him, timing wasn't right. So he loved the gift and I was off with a quick kiss....
Hmmm....thinking about this business thing..I realize now why the tables have turned. Bottom line...it's control. I think I didn't want to help him anymore because it was a real tie if we began the project and I feel we are drifting. And now that I think about it, I wonder if he wants to do the project now because he feels the same thing...except reverse. If I work for him, there is a control thing there and he knows I would never walk away from a work agreement without finishing it. A way for him to be in more control. Actually when I did work for him he was in a lot more control. I couldn't walk away as easily as I could now. Is that why he out of the blue changed his mind? I have a feeling it is (whether he realizes it or not).
Now you would have thought he would have been a little more accommodating the next day. He can be a pain in the butt...he didn't call till late to say have a nice weekend. we have always done that for 1 1/2 years....oh well..it is what it is and who the hell knows what that is...but I did have fun.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Puff the Magic Cock...Talk about FantasyLand!!
Puff the Magic Dragon.....
OMG! Now I have seen everything..talk about feeling like you were in fantasyland.....
Wow, this blows my mind...a combination of amazement that someone would do this and I am amazed at how detailed and artistically gorgeous it is...
And then my mind wanders further...hmm..who did this for him? what is it like to have sex with a dragon inside of you? How much did that hurt? what does it look like when his cock shrinks? Is it a true tattoo?
Wow, I have tons of thoughts here...
I found this on Having her cake and eating it too's site....wow!!! lol
http://andeatingit2.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Men and Women have to be from different planets
There is no doubt in my mind that men and women's minds are wired differently. I think most women think a lot before they say something. Men do not. Women may overthink things at times and men do not think enough.
Mr. P- called late last night. He was sincere and basically said he doesn't understand why I am in such a huff. He did apologize for what he said about the luxury and he basically reiterated everything I said about my life not being luxury. what he meant more was that my schedule is more flexible. Okay, that I will agree with. I do have flexibility...I can work at 2AM or 2PM with what I do and it doesn't matter...the work gets done. And then we discussed started to discuss the chore and the whore. First, he said you are definitely not a chore or a whore. I want to be with you and as far as the whore....well, a whore I wouldn't have to take an attitude from.....hahahahaha Let's talk tomorrow and please do not be upset. I was still upset and pissed.
In the midst of my bad mood, hell breaks loose in my home. The hubby pulling another ridiculous stunt. In a rage, I begin to pack some stuff but realize I have no where to go. And then I went to the bed and I said You get out of this bedroom. His response, I am staying in this room as long as we are not divorced. In a huff, grabbing my pillow and blankets I screamed....with that attitude and me having to sleep on the couch...expect the divorce proceedings to begin!!! And so I had a sleepless night on the couch. At 6AM, I began calling friends...what are you doing? I'm on the couch. My girlfriend laughed. When she wanted a divorce, she was on the couch and that was a motivator to push the damn thing through faster. Yes, she knows how the couch could make a divorce decision quicken.
Morning came and I started with Security Man. What was up with you last night? Were you serious? He responded immediately. "I was". Okay, what did you mean. Call me. Reality is, his house was in an uproar last night. cops, child protection..his wife is a drunk and she was hitting him. Last thing he needs is an entanglement. I told him...right now, I am your friend. No sex...someone that you just need to talk to. We sat on the phone for another 2 hours. He has to go to a lawyer. He is going to lose his kids if she is still around. I offered to be there for him...call me and we can meet at the supermarket if its out of control. He needs a friend and I want to be there for him. I am glad he made an appointment for the lawyer today. He called to say thank you and we are going to meet for lunch.
As for Mr. P-....I found out later that his call was unprovoked. He actually hadn't received my call yesterday until later on after we had met. He hadn't checked his voicemail he was so busy. Well, we met yesterday. I wasn't making it easy...I made him drive all the way here. We were going to meet in a restaurant but that would have been too restrictive both on talking and if I even wanted to touch him. So I said we would meet in the motel and talk. Of course then my day became packed and it was my fault but I literally had 1 1/2 hours. That was it. So we got to the motel and we talked for about 10 minutes just about the whore and chore and then I said to myself....SELF...you are damn horny. So we can waste the 1 1/2 hours OR we can fuck our brains out and discuss this another day. Reality is...things weren't going to change so....I chose the fuck my brains out. I basically said...lets put this on hold....lets have sex. He looked at me and smiled. I still hate you today...but I am horny. He laughed.
A cliffhanger?! YUP...a new post about today will follow a little later tonight...too many eyes around right now!!
Mr. P- called late last night. He was sincere and basically said he doesn't understand why I am in such a huff. He did apologize for what he said about the luxury and he basically reiterated everything I said about my life not being luxury. what he meant more was that my schedule is more flexible. Okay, that I will agree with. I do have flexibility...I can work at 2AM or 2PM with what I do and it doesn't matter...the work gets done. And then we discussed started to discuss the chore and the whore. First, he said you are definitely not a chore or a whore. I want to be with you and as far as the whore....well, a whore I wouldn't have to take an attitude from.....hahahahaha Let's talk tomorrow and please do not be upset. I was still upset and pissed.
In the midst of my bad mood, hell breaks loose in my home. The hubby pulling another ridiculous stunt. In a rage, I begin to pack some stuff but realize I have no where to go. And then I went to the bed and I said You get out of this bedroom. His response, I am staying in this room as long as we are not divorced. In a huff, grabbing my pillow and blankets I screamed....with that attitude and me having to sleep on the couch...expect the divorce proceedings to begin!!! And so I had a sleepless night on the couch. At 6AM, I began calling friends...what are you doing? I'm on the couch. My girlfriend laughed. When she wanted a divorce, she was on the couch and that was a motivator to push the damn thing through faster. Yes, she knows how the couch could make a divorce decision quicken.
Morning came and I started with Security Man. What was up with you last night? Were you serious? He responded immediately. "I was". Okay, what did you mean. Call me. Reality is, his house was in an uproar last night. cops, child protection..his wife is a drunk and she was hitting him. Last thing he needs is an entanglement. I told him...right now, I am your friend. No sex...someone that you just need to talk to. We sat on the phone for another 2 hours. He has to go to a lawyer. He is going to lose his kids if she is still around. I offered to be there for him...call me and we can meet at the supermarket if its out of control. He needs a friend and I want to be there for him. I am glad he made an appointment for the lawyer today. He called to say thank you and we are going to meet for lunch.
As for Mr. P-....I found out later that his call was unprovoked. He actually hadn't received my call yesterday until later on after we had met. He hadn't checked his voicemail he was so busy. Well, we met yesterday. I wasn't making it easy...I made him drive all the way here. We were going to meet in a restaurant but that would have been too restrictive both on talking and if I even wanted to touch him. So I said we would meet in the motel and talk. Of course then my day became packed and it was my fault but I literally had 1 1/2 hours. That was it. So we got to the motel and we talked for about 10 minutes just about the whore and chore and then I said to myself....SELF...you are damn horny. So we can waste the 1 1/2 hours OR we can fuck our brains out and discuss this another day. Reality is...things weren't going to change so....I chose the fuck my brains out. I basically said...lets put this on hold....lets have sex. He looked at me and smiled. I still hate you today...but I am horny. He laughed.
A cliffhanger?! YUP...a new post about today will follow a little later tonight...too many eyes around right now!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
And In Conclusion...Men are Asses
I'm sorry, there are some of you out there that are wonderful men but the ones I meet are asses. A constant flow of them today.....one said something stupider than the next.
I guess I hadn't been really thinking about the men that I was in conversation with lately. some were blast from the pasts and others were ones that I had spoken to and have lingered on. I guess with my crazy week I made passing comments like...yeah, contact me next week and we can touch base and get together. At 11:30 today, my email, phone and text messages were going wild. I guess I didn't realize it but I had actually 7 men I was suppose to meet this week. Funny, I am not interested in most of them and didn't even realize they were still around. 7 invitations from dinner to drinks to coffee to picnics to hotel visits.
The most eventful were Facebook lawyer, Mr. P and Mr. Security. Facebook lawyer and I are still trying to hook up after so many years. We try everyday..today was another one of those just weren't able to hook up.
Mr. P and I had a major, we are talking major blow out. The things he said were hurtful and made me feel like a chore and a whore. From basically telling me that he wanted me to see other men to telling me that he was trying to fit me in tomorrow to saying his wife was going to be within a 100 radius so we couldn't possible see each other that he might have to cancel....to incenuating that I had a life of luxury. Okay, the last thing was a total flip out. Luxury...the man lives in the damn richest town in his county. Money hasn't been a factor...the wife doesn't work, has cleaning ladies, he has a guest house on his property AND I am living a life of luxury. I went crazy....crazy....screaming and totally losing it. You have time for golf three times this week but no time for me? I screamed and hung up. He didn't call back for hours...especially when I told him that we should maybe take a break. we are meeting tomorrow to discuss it. What was a visit to the hotel is now going to be no visit or a cup of coffee.
And Security Guy...something is mentally wrong with him. Two hours on the phone and we were having a fabulous conversation.....things were going right....he had a major blowout with his alcoholic wife...police and everything....I was there as his friend. We made plans to possible fool around next week and hang out. I wanted to be with him..something made me want us to be together. We both agreed how hot we were together. I told him I was there for him as a friend if he needed to talk. things were good...I was happy. And then....and then..tonight after my world calmed out with a fury over Mr. P...he sends me this note. thanks for all your caring and for being there to talk with me. Our meeting is going to be purely sex right? I mean you will leave me a referal online if I get divorced? Okay..where did that come from and was he serious because that was a childish asshole remark. And I wrote back....so, why do you have to always turn into an ass? You don't even have to meet me, I will give you a recommendation and btw, yeah, I was looking for a marriage proposal. So why do you sabatoge us each time?
so as you can see..Men are asses...I don't get their thinking. I think their mouths ramnble on at time without thinking what they are saying.
Here's to 7 men and 7 ignore these loser days!!
I guess I hadn't been really thinking about the men that I was in conversation with lately. some were blast from the pasts and others were ones that I had spoken to and have lingered on. I guess with my crazy week I made passing comments like...yeah, contact me next week and we can touch base and get together. At 11:30 today, my email, phone and text messages were going wild. I guess I didn't realize it but I had actually 7 men I was suppose to meet this week. Funny, I am not interested in most of them and didn't even realize they were still around. 7 invitations from dinner to drinks to coffee to picnics to hotel visits.
The most eventful were Facebook lawyer, Mr. P and Mr. Security. Facebook lawyer and I are still trying to hook up after so many years. We try everyday..today was another one of those just weren't able to hook up.
Mr. P and I had a major, we are talking major blow out. The things he said were hurtful and made me feel like a chore and a whore. From basically telling me that he wanted me to see other men to telling me that he was trying to fit me in tomorrow to saying his wife was going to be within a 100 radius so we couldn't possible see each other that he might have to cancel....to incenuating that I had a life of luxury. Okay, the last thing was a total flip out. Luxury...the man lives in the damn richest town in his county. Money hasn't been a factor...the wife doesn't work, has cleaning ladies, he has a guest house on his property AND I am living a life of luxury. I went crazy....crazy....screaming and totally losing it. You have time for golf three times this week but no time for me? I screamed and hung up. He didn't call back for hours...especially when I told him that we should maybe take a break. we are meeting tomorrow to discuss it. What was a visit to the hotel is now going to be no visit or a cup of coffee.
And Security Guy...something is mentally wrong with him. Two hours on the phone and we were having a fabulous conversation.....things were going right....he had a major blowout with his alcoholic wife...police and everything....I was there as his friend. We made plans to possible fool around next week and hang out. I wanted to be with him..something made me want us to be together. We both agreed how hot we were together. I told him I was there for him as a friend if he needed to talk. things were good...I was happy. And then....and then..tonight after my world calmed out with a fury over Mr. P...he sends me this note. thanks for all your caring and for being there to talk with me. Our meeting is going to be purely sex right? I mean you will leave me a referal online if I get divorced? Okay..where did that come from and was he serious because that was a childish asshole remark. And I wrote back....so, why do you have to always turn into an ass? You don't even have to meet me, I will give you a recommendation and btw, yeah, I was looking for a marriage proposal. So why do you sabatoge us each time?
so as you can see..Men are asses...I don't get their thinking. I think their mouths ramnble on at time without thinking what they are saying.
Here's to 7 men and 7 ignore these loser days!!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Best Friends, Great Night
This weekend seemed to be really long this time. Actually I was alone a lot and busy with friends and their dating situations. Except on Friday night, what a great night. I hung out with my childhood friends. nothing is like those friends who you love and have been with since the beginning of time. We laugh till we cry, we talk about the past and the present. we may not see each other often but when we do, its as if there are no other people in the restaurant. Gotta say that we do make our mark when we are all together. Four pretty woman who are very independent and each of us with our own direction in life and successful at it. Oh, you can see the men's eyes from the bar looking at our table...but its funny, no man would approach. They look and stare but never come over. Truth is, we are having so much fun that we ignore the looks and are not there for men. Drinking Sangria, pitcher after pitcher. One thing I did find out, I am not as young as I used to be. Saturday, I was DEAD.
Oh they know about me online and they were cracking up. Couldn't help but take a jab at me...I am considered the wild one at this point. However, for the record, the women at this table are far from prudes but we are all very different. One friend is a high powered financial person who loves the opera and the finer things in life. She is the breadwinner for the most part and her boyfriend is her support system. He is an amazing guy and they are happy. we are talking, they sit around listening to opera and drinking fine wines in their smoking jackets. The second friend is married to a high powered financial guy. However, she juggles the role of entertaining wife and her own career in the humanitarians and two children. She is like my sister growing up. A healthy organic life (which is the opposite of the life we lived when we were 7!) And then my single friend who is a riot. The one that dates the famous athletes. If I had half her confidence and independence, I would be okay. Sexually, the organic one has probably had the wildest experiences and has the most open of the relationships (threesomes, an agreement with her husband) and the single one has wild sex..but with a selected few. It's funny how my friends know about the blog but they do not visit. Why? It's hard to read about a friends sexual encounters when you are so close to them especially when they don't think of me like that. Well we had a great time....
Looking on Ashley Madison this week, I realized that I have been like the absent minded professor. Message after message-where did you go? You haven't answered. Now I used to be excited about these new meetings but honestly--I have been not into them. I left four men hanging--I literally forgot about them. What I have been finding is my enjoyment of two men who were in my past. One of the lawyers that I had met had contacted me recently. We had gone on some lunches (Facebook Lawyer) and hung out..nothing happened but he has resurfaced. And then to my surprise...the fireman that I never met but spoke with for two years and he went poof. He's funny, he's sweet and I enjoy him. We spoke on Friday and yesterday and going to meet this week.
Oh they know about me online and they were cracking up. Couldn't help but take a jab at me...I am considered the wild one at this point. However, for the record, the women at this table are far from prudes but we are all very different. One friend is a high powered financial person who loves the opera and the finer things in life. She is the breadwinner for the most part and her boyfriend is her support system. He is an amazing guy and they are happy. we are talking, they sit around listening to opera and drinking fine wines in their smoking jackets. The second friend is married to a high powered financial guy. However, she juggles the role of entertaining wife and her own career in the humanitarians and two children. She is like my sister growing up. A healthy organic life (which is the opposite of the life we lived when we were 7!) And then my single friend who is a riot. The one that dates the famous athletes. If I had half her confidence and independence, I would be okay. Sexually, the organic one has probably had the wildest experiences and has the most open of the relationships (threesomes, an agreement with her husband) and the single one has wild sex..but with a selected few. It's funny how my friends know about the blog but they do not visit. Why? It's hard to read about a friends sexual encounters when you are so close to them especially when they don't think of me like that. Well we had a great time....
Looking on Ashley Madison this week, I realized that I have been like the absent minded professor. Message after message-where did you go? You haven't answered. Now I used to be excited about these new meetings but honestly--I have been not into them. I left four men hanging--I literally forgot about them. What I have been finding is my enjoyment of two men who were in my past. One of the lawyers that I had met had contacted me recently. We had gone on some lunches (Facebook Lawyer) and hung out..nothing happened but he has resurfaced. And then to my surprise...the fireman that I never met but spoke with for two years and he went poof. He's funny, he's sweet and I enjoy him. We spoke on Friday and yesterday and going to meet this week.
Turning The Tables A Little Bit
Mr. P said today that I don't understand the pressure he is under. Funny, I thought I have been Miss. Understanding. As I've said, he's been distant. Oh we speak everyday, but it's not the same. He's not himself. And I've been trying to help, be there for him. Personally, I feel I am a burden. Like it's a chore. Today, it came to a head.
To back up, I guess Mr. P felt his response to me regarding whether I could do it alone was not what I anticipated. yesterday he came back to me with the response I expected from him. sharpening his pencil, he started to ask me my expenses, weighing the ups and downs of getting a divorce. He was surprised that I knew the expenses to the penny...yes, I live and breathe those expenses. I know exactly what I need each month to get by and how much more I would have to make each month to be on my own. It was like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance....I guess he took me more seriously when he realized that I got it...that I knew my situation. And then I said....I am going with the worse possible scenerio.....I have to think that I will get no financial support and that I will never find someone else. You have a lot of baggage (it felt like a knife in my heart hearing him say that) but I knew this was the truth. So If I wanted the divorce after I aceepted I may be alone...hey, then it is time to go for it.
And then today....he was tired....sleepless working through the night last night and I felt that obligation attitude to talk to me. Anyway, I had said something about if we were going to see eachother next week and he quickly remarked how he had a lot going on....golf two days out of the office and other things. So I said...guess i don't fit in there and he remarked....well if I wanted that attitude I could get it at home. Hmmmm....on my honor, it wasn't a bad attitude....it was the realization that I feel he was quick to say all the times he can't meet me. The realization is that is no way our schedules would ever match up unless I made the effort to block out sometime (which I have been doing for over a year). I even remarked how I would love to come over to his office right now and pop in and crawl under his desk, suck his cock and then just leave and go out with my friends...(and there was no hardly a response--that was before I asked what he was doing next week).
Well...his wife remark was the last straw...comparing me to an attitude at home. This was it. I responded in a cool tone..honestly, if I wanted to be ignored, I could just stay at home. And I am tired of planning my week around you so dear man, I am not going to be a burden or a chore...you want me..you can adjust your damn schedule. In fact, I am not going to feel like a chore anymore...until I feel like you want to see me, don't feel obligated. I get the point and I am sure tonight I can find a guy who wouldn't mind having me. And would try to fit me in his schedule and be happy about seeing me. In fact, I am sure he would be thrilled that my lips wanted to be wrapped around his cock and it wouldn't be a chore.
He backed off. He apologized and said he didn't mean it. Would you care if I went out tonight and found a man and played with him? His response....whatever would make you happy. Oh really....and in my voice he knew, that if he left it at that, I was going to go out tonight and do just that. And with that, he said...I want to see you next week, you are a perfect balance in my stressed life because you make me happy. BUT what I don't know won't hurt me and I do want you to be happy.
Okay, he mellowed me with that. And he picked a day. We went on to talk and discuss a little bit and then we said have a nice weekend.
It is now Monday as I am finishing this up....and I just re-read my draft of this post...actually, it sounds more volatile than it was.... for the record, it wasn't a drama moment was there was a ton of frustration in my voice. And I had the weekend to think about it and quite frankly....I need to give him a little room. I don't think I am going to see him this week. A lot of thinking this weekend, I will write more in my next post..
To back up, I guess Mr. P felt his response to me regarding whether I could do it alone was not what I anticipated. yesterday he came back to me with the response I expected from him. sharpening his pencil, he started to ask me my expenses, weighing the ups and downs of getting a divorce. He was surprised that I knew the expenses to the penny...yes, I live and breathe those expenses. I know exactly what I need each month to get by and how much more I would have to make each month to be on my own. It was like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance....I guess he took me more seriously when he realized that I got it...that I knew my situation. And then I said....I am going with the worse possible scenerio.....I have to think that I will get no financial support and that I will never find someone else. You have a lot of baggage (it felt like a knife in my heart hearing him say that) but I knew this was the truth. So If I wanted the divorce after I aceepted I may be alone...hey, then it is time to go for it.
And then today....he was tired....sleepless working through the night last night and I felt that obligation attitude to talk to me. Anyway, I had said something about if we were going to see eachother next week and he quickly remarked how he had a lot going on....golf two days out of the office and other things. So I said...guess i don't fit in there and he remarked....well if I wanted that attitude I could get it at home. Hmmmm....on my honor, it wasn't a bad attitude....it was the realization that I feel he was quick to say all the times he can't meet me. The realization is that is no way our schedules would ever match up unless I made the effort to block out sometime (which I have been doing for over a year). I even remarked how I would love to come over to his office right now and pop in and crawl under his desk, suck his cock and then just leave and go out with my friends...(and there was no hardly a response--that was before I asked what he was doing next week).
Well...his wife remark was the last straw...comparing me to an attitude at home. This was it. I responded in a cool tone..honestly, if I wanted to be ignored, I could just stay at home. And I am tired of planning my week around you so dear man, I am not going to be a burden or a chore...you want me..you can adjust your damn schedule. In fact, I am not going to feel like a chore anymore...until I feel like you want to see me, don't feel obligated. I get the point and I am sure tonight I can find a guy who wouldn't mind having me. And would try to fit me in his schedule and be happy about seeing me. In fact, I am sure he would be thrilled that my lips wanted to be wrapped around his cock and it wouldn't be a chore.
He backed off. He apologized and said he didn't mean it. Would you care if I went out tonight and found a man and played with him? His response....whatever would make you happy. Oh really....and in my voice he knew, that if he left it at that, I was going to go out tonight and do just that. And with that, he said...I want to see you next week, you are a perfect balance in my stressed life because you make me happy. BUT what I don't know won't hurt me and I do want you to be happy.
Okay, he mellowed me with that. And he picked a day. We went on to talk and discuss a little bit and then we said have a nice weekend.
It is now Monday as I am finishing this up....and I just re-read my draft of this post...actually, it sounds more volatile than it was.... for the record, it wasn't a drama moment was there was a ton of frustration in my voice. And I had the weekend to think about it and quite frankly....I need to give him a little room. I don't think I am going to see him this week. A lot of thinking this weekend, I will write more in my next post..
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Blatantly Honest--A Reflection From The Soul
Looking at me from the outside, you would never know. I have gotten so good at the smile, at the facade of being strong....it's almost natural at this point. But the truth, I am empty inside. The emptiness has gotten so deep, that it is almost torturing me....and yet the smile still exists on my face to the world. I probably should have been an actress...I manage to play this role so well. As the world crumbles and I am in a deep depression....no one knows. Friends know I am sad but honestly no one knows the depth of it.
Two children with issues and one that is rebelling and I cannot reach since his father took control of his life so many years ago....I feel like a failure. I spoke to Mr, P about it...he gets upset with me. Damn it baby, you do the best of anyone I know. You stand up for those kids and go to bat for each one...you have no financial, emotional or any help at all...you have given it your all and more. I mean you take on the damn government like its nothing. He gets angry that I have a useless husband and I have to do it alone. I wanted to be perfect...I was so used to being perfect...so how could my life be filled with so much imperfection. I guess it funny....I got three personalized letters from government officials this week because of my lobbying....and look at me...sitting here with tears rolling down my face listening to Led Zeppelin. When I was younger, I had a boyfriend who played the guitar and sang the song "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you"....there were so many men in my life who truly cared about me...how did I end up here?
I called my best friend this weekend..."I want to run away". I felt like we were 15 again. We both laughed but she knew I meant it. You are rotting in that house....we are going this week. My childhood friends to my rescue.
Truth is....I see a recent change in me and I don't know what to do about it. I know this is going to sound weird but with MM gone, I don't have that fulfillment that helped me through the rough times. I know it was a bandaid on a profusely bleeding wound but it worked. I need to move on somehow. I mean it is 3AM and I cannot go to bed...the anxiety is so great right now. Him being gone...has left me with my world. Hearing this song...Closer...I realize how I thrive for that sexual connection....that raw intense sex...I will never forget having sex to this song
So I made some decisions right now. 1) I can't take all these people leaning on me and relying on me. 2) No more working weekends, I have to put my work away 3) I need to go to a psychologist...I am getting a little nervous how depressed I am getting 4) I have to hold on for at least another three weeks till the school year is over before approaching the hubby about the mediator. Announcing it during finals and regents is selfish.
Today I think I made a mistake. Having slept so little last night and another drama with a permit and the town....I called Mr. P-. The man who always had been there for me...I was crying and questioning everything. So overhwelming sometimes, I needed to ask him..you kmow me better than most people right now. You kmow all that I have on my plate...."Do you think that I can do it alone?" And I was hoping for a supportive response and instead his answer was...I don't know. you are the only one who would kmow. And then he started to talk about how I probably have more freedom now if I wanted to take advantage of it. Go to Florida, just tell him I was going...that he would have to take care of the kids. OMG! Mr. Porsche didn't want me to get divorced. I think he is worried I would be his responsibility...OMG...I was taken back..he wanted me to stay married. He said he would call me back...and in such a deep convo, I thought he would. He didn't. I text him that I was sorry for burdening him today and I thanked him for listening...no response. Hmmm...and
I am there for him....wow....and so I felt even more alone now. Wow...he would rather me stay in this miserable marriage, loveless marriage...he's changed his tune. I am even more depressed right now.
And the bottom line...I am scared. Truly scared. How Ironic...the Alex Band sums it up pretty well:
Two children with issues and one that is rebelling and I cannot reach since his father took control of his life so many years ago....I feel like a failure. I spoke to Mr, P about it...he gets upset with me. Damn it baby, you do the best of anyone I know. You stand up for those kids and go to bat for each one...you have no financial, emotional or any help at all...you have given it your all and more. I mean you take on the damn government like its nothing. He gets angry that I have a useless husband and I have to do it alone. I wanted to be perfect...I was so used to being perfect...so how could my life be filled with so much imperfection. I guess it funny....I got three personalized letters from government officials this week because of my lobbying....and look at me...sitting here with tears rolling down my face listening to Led Zeppelin. When I was younger, I had a boyfriend who played the guitar and sang the song "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you"....there were so many men in my life who truly cared about me...how did I end up here?
I called my best friend this weekend..."I want to run away". I felt like we were 15 again. We both laughed but she knew I meant it. You are rotting in that house....we are going this week. My childhood friends to my rescue.
Truth is....I see a recent change in me and I don't know what to do about it. I know this is going to sound weird but with MM gone, I don't have that fulfillment that helped me through the rough times. I know it was a bandaid on a profusely bleeding wound but it worked. I need to move on somehow. I mean it is 3AM and I cannot go to bed...the anxiety is so great right now. Him being gone...has left me with my world. Hearing this song...Closer...I realize how I thrive for that sexual connection....that raw intense sex...I will never forget having sex to this song
So I made some decisions right now. 1) I can't take all these people leaning on me and relying on me. 2) No more working weekends, I have to put my work away 3) I need to go to a psychologist...I am getting a little nervous how depressed I am getting 4) I have to hold on for at least another three weeks till the school year is over before approaching the hubby about the mediator. Announcing it during finals and regents is selfish.
Today I think I made a mistake. Having slept so little last night and another drama with a permit and the town....I called Mr. P-. The man who always had been there for me...I was crying and questioning everything. So overhwelming sometimes, I needed to ask him..you kmow me better than most people right now. You kmow all that I have on my plate...."Do you think that I can do it alone?" And I was hoping for a supportive response and instead his answer was...I don't know. you are the only one who would kmow. And then he started to talk about how I probably have more freedom now if I wanted to take advantage of it. Go to Florida, just tell him I was going...that he would have to take care of the kids. OMG! Mr. Porsche didn't want me to get divorced. I think he is worried I would be his responsibility...OMG...I was taken back..he wanted me to stay married. He said he would call me back...and in such a deep convo, I thought he would. He didn't. I text him that I was sorry for burdening him today and I thanked him for listening...no response. Hmmm...and
I am there for him....wow....and so I felt even more alone now. Wow...he would rather me stay in this miserable marriage, loveless marriage...he's changed his tune. I am even more depressed right now.
And the bottom line...I am scared. Truly scared. How Ironic...the Alex Band sums it up pretty well:
Monday, June 08, 2009
Was It Pleasure or Pain? How Many Orgasms Is Too Much?
As I had told you..I had been so damn horny I was jumping out of my skin. All I could think about was having sex....images of being thrusted from behind just filled my head...and Mr. Porsche couldn't resist a damsel in sexual distress.
He cleared his afternoon (which isn't easy so I did appreciate that) but he hit lots of traffic. I got the hotel room and waited naked in the bed for him. A prelude to this, I had masturbated earlier because I didn't want to cum immediately....but I still was damn horny. The anticipation was driving me crazy. The room has this little sitting area that if anyone wanted to watch us from outside....they certainly could see through the thin drapes. And this room also did not have the best sound proofing. Last time, we could hear a couple moaning in the next room.
I was certainly in a playful mood and I truly wanted to dominant and take control today. AND of course, that doesn't happen with Mr. Porsche. you would think he could let me take control even a little....nope. It's not an option for him which does annoys me. My vision was for him to come to the door and I would throw him up against the wall and I would attack him. I had to remember...that was Mystery Man..over, done....move on.
To entertain me, I had taken a body crayon I had found in the bottom of my bag. Hmm...I decided to mark off the areas of concentration for him with big arrows, I circled and pointed to my nipples, my lips and my pussy. I didn't want to waste time for him to find the important spots.
I am now getting frustrated. I mean what is taking so long...the phone rings, "where are you? I can't wait anymore, I may die of horniness!" He laughs...I'm still a little away..just relax and think of how wonderful I am going to make you feel. I have plans for you today". And with that sinister laugh, I felt my heart jump and my nipples harden. Little did I know what he had planned.
I hung up the phone and there was a knock on the door. I was startled. Who the hell is this? I should have known....you see Mr. Porsche loves to keep me off guard. It was him, I was shocked. I opened the door and stood beside it totally naked. He smiled. He walked in and I leaned into him...wanting to push him up against the door but that wasn't his plan. Giggling he said..wait, let me get settled...go lay down...pouting, I did. And then he saw the arrows and gave me that look. The look that I get from lovers when they think I am insane but truly loving it. I began reaching for him from the bed and he quickly put a blindfold on me.
"Hey...I want to see you, I want to attack you"....but I gave in. A blindfold always gives me that extra edge to experiment and it even increases my desire to experiment. I think its the fact that I can't see my body flaws...silly as it sounds but if I see one of my body flaws during sex, my orgasm declines and my mind wanders..with a blindfold, its as if he can't see them either.
So now I am on the end of the bed, reaching for him. Listening to his sounds as he undresses and trying to reach for his cock. Almost got it...but he managed to come around and smack me in the face with it a few times. I was hysterical laughing. There is nothing like a cock coming out of no where and smacking ya in the face and then when you grab for it...it is gone. I felt like it was a Mexican pinata...and if I gave it one good grab....all the prizes would come my way.
I was an easy prey since I had the blindfold on....he gently reached for my hand and kissed me...a luscious kiss...filled with passion and with the kiss, there was a japanese rope slipped on my wrist. I bucked like a wild animal fighting the other hand to be bound. This isn't what I wanted, I wanted control. But Mr. Porsche won..he is not the biggest man but he is so damn strong. The second arm was tied behind my back, any hope of control was gone.
He unpacked his toys and threw them on the bed...and proceeded to kiss, lick and nibble on each of my pointed areas....first my lips and then he moved to each nipple and moved his way to my pussy. I could hear myself moaning...I wanted sex today. I wanted to orgasm and he was going to take me there.
But first, he wanted to hypnotize me. I truly love it. It makes me relax. It makes my body total release all the stresses. I literally go deeper and deeper as I listen to his voice. Oh how I love it when he gets my body to agree that each sensation is heightened....that each gentle touch makes my body tingle and my clit fill to almost explosion. He has feasted on my nipples which he absolutely loves. I know that is his favorite part of my body....he sucks on them and nibbles on them like they were a succulent delicacy....its hot. And then his fingers begin to spread my lips. He first puts his fingers in my mouth and has me suck them and then he goes to my clit doing circles....inserting one finger and then two...I can feel my back arching a little. I am determined to hold off...I try not to cum. He knows I am fighting it and well....he is determined to make me cum. It's a control thing. Now that I look back, I realize that is probably the only thing I can control in this state....and like a spoiled child I am going to be stubborn. Hold back that orgasm.
However, he is prepared for my resistance....and he bites my nipples as if he knew what I was thinking....there is such a fine line between pleasure and pain and with my body in such a relaxed state, the bite sends explosive sparks throughout my whole body. He now inserts my favorite toy...oh I know it well...and my body responds...deep inside of me, you can feel and hear the wetness now. Suck on my fingers as if it were my cock....the deeper you go, the more intense your orgasm will be....in this relaxed state, I am able to take his two fingers deep into my throat without even a gag.
He is determined to make me cum. And now he is back at working my pussy....the toy going in and out and now he means business. He knows that my ass is so damn sensitive and can make me cum....he begins to insert anal beads...I am trying to resist but the wave is coming stronger and stronger....the beads are in place and now he thrusts the toy deep inside of me and it goes deeper and deeper and the feeling to cum is just overwhelming, I can't resist anymore...and with a moan and my back arching....my body begins to pulsate and the juices flowing...it was intense, it was amazing.
But Mr. Porsche is not satisfied with that one hot orgasmic orgasm. This is where it becomes a true question of what feels good and what feels too good...I need a minute or two...my clit is always so sensitive, I need ride the orgasmic wave but he won't allow that. He is determined to make me orgasm over and over again. He now goes in with his fingers. You see, he recently found my G Spot. Oh he as found it before but the last few weeks, it is as if there is a button there and he knows exactly where to go. The orgasmic wave comes again and I am literally thrashing on the bed...squirming and almost begging him to stop. At this point, my mind is in a state of confusion. you have to remember, he stripped me down, all my walls had been down, my body in relaxation and then all these orgasms...it was too much for me.
One second it felt amazing and the next it was painful. My head was relaxed, orgasming...I don't know...is it possible that it was too much excitement at once? He was biting my nipples and hitting my Gspot and I was screaming now and moaning (and the people in the next room heard us!) I heard the man say somethign about sex (yes the walls are thin). Geez, I was so damn loud...but it was almost like an out of body experience....and suddenly...Tears started to roll down my face. I can't explain it, I wasn't crying because of something...my body was responding...I have never cried during sex but the tears were flowing and I was shocked..."please give me a minute, please I need a minute". But he wasn't backing down...he continued to make me orgasm again and again..."pull out the beads...come on, you have more...pull out the beads".....And with my last bit of energy, I pulled out the beads and a moan of pleasure escaped me.....he flipped me over and I was beyond exhaustion....all I remember saying is my hands, my hands..you have to take off the ropes...please...I combination of severe pain and a desire to be free overwhelmed me.
It wasn't his fault, the ropes get tighter and tighter the more you resist. As you can imagine, I was pulling and pulling and they were cutting into my skin. He quickly removed them and the blind fold as I lied on my stomach attempting to collect myself. I couldn't sort out what I was feeling. It was a combination of every emotion possible. It was amazing yet disturbing. It felt great yet there was pain. It was overwhelming to the point of crying. WOW...it was intense and I enjoyed myself but I couldn't put my finger on if I liked it. I've never really gotten to the point where I couldn't sort out my feelings. Think about it..in life we know what we are feeling and can categorize it. I couldn't categorize this at all.
My wrists were left with marks....geez..good thing I wear bracelets and a watch..I had rope marks on my hands. Now that would be great if I got into an accident...can you imagine the forensic reports...unexplained rope marks on her hands...it was starting to turn a little black and blue. I lied there for a second....caught my breath..he took the mask off and kissed me gently. After a few deep breaths...I got my shit together....I am a fighter...I am not going to give up....laying exhausted on the bed I lifted my head up and turned to him with a sheepish smile and look and sternly said...."So are you going to fuck me today or what?" He laughed and placed the condom on and entered me from behind...our fingers entwined as he thrusted from behind. Mmmmmmm.......when his cock is hard..it feels so good. As he fills me up...it sends a balance throughout my body...I turn my head back and we begin to passionately kiss and I suck on his tongue as he goes deeper and deeper inside of me.
Mr, Porsche never comes in me. After I orgasmed again (and yes, he was right, he could blow on me and I would probably keep orgasming)....I went to work sucking his cock. Oh it is work to get him to cum but I am determined. Massaging his balls, and rubbing his cock..my lips working it up and down.....I was going to make him cum....as I went near his ass, it wasn't feeling so great for him....I laughed..after all you did to me and my ass you expect me to stop?!? I did but talk about a hypocrite....Finally after my fingers and mouth sucking his cock with determination....he began to cum and I opened my mouth wide...the cum squirted inside and literally made a pool in my mouth....my mouth was filled with cum and it was all over....I think he came a gallon...lol
I crawled my way up to his arms, and we laid there entwined. I love being in a man's arms. I miss and crave that affection...but today, something wasn't right. He was distant. I love to passionately kiss but his kisses weren't passionate. There was something there...a wall...something wasn't right. That pussycat wasn't there today....I felt as if...he was doing this because he had to not wanted to. Like...okay, here is your scheduled 10 minutes you require. I just got up after a few minutes and went into the shower. He followed and knew something was up...I don't pass up cuddle time.
His demeanor changed...he was chatty now and realized something was up with me and I asked..are you okay? Which when I say it a certain way...has a what the fuck was that tone... I'm stressed....I have a lot on my mind, its not you. What is it? And we showered talking about stuff that was bothering him. Things I understood about the pressure, about missing out on family things because of problems at work, major problems at work he was having....I am so glad we can talk. It feels so good to me to know we communicate like that and that I can be there for him.
So....it is days later....and I am still not sure what to make of the day. Giving up all your control is not an easy thing, well its not easy for me. I can't even tell you how many times I orgasmed or how many times I screamed of pleasure. But its the lack of control that makes me uneasy. Let's just say....he succeeded...I have not been horny again until today. Once in awhile, a day like that is different, fun to experiment but I need passionate, controlled by me sex too! Hmmmmm....an emotional rollercoaster....but I wanted to experiment...so no complaints....
The last few days, my mindset has been changing. It's good...it's scary....I have been really examining my life. More tomorrow...this is a long ass post....
He cleared his afternoon (which isn't easy so I did appreciate that) but he hit lots of traffic. I got the hotel room and waited naked in the bed for him. A prelude to this, I had masturbated earlier because I didn't want to cum immediately....but I still was damn horny. The anticipation was driving me crazy. The room has this little sitting area that if anyone wanted to watch us from outside....they certainly could see through the thin drapes. And this room also did not have the best sound proofing. Last time, we could hear a couple moaning in the next room.
I was certainly in a playful mood and I truly wanted to dominant and take control today. AND of course, that doesn't happen with Mr. Porsche. you would think he could let me take control even a little....nope. It's not an option for him which does annoys me. My vision was for him to come to the door and I would throw him up against the wall and I would attack him. I had to remember...that was Mystery Man..over, done....move on.
To entertain me, I had taken a body crayon I had found in the bottom of my bag. Hmm...I decided to mark off the areas of concentration for him with big arrows, I circled and pointed to my nipples, my lips and my pussy. I didn't want to waste time for him to find the important spots.
I am now getting frustrated. I mean what is taking so long...the phone rings, "where are you? I can't wait anymore, I may die of horniness!" He laughs...I'm still a little away..just relax and think of how wonderful I am going to make you feel. I have plans for you today". And with that sinister laugh, I felt my heart jump and my nipples harden. Little did I know what he had planned.
I hung up the phone and there was a knock on the door. I was startled. Who the hell is this? I should have known....you see Mr. Porsche loves to keep me off guard. It was him, I was shocked. I opened the door and stood beside it totally naked. He smiled. He walked in and I leaned into him...wanting to push him up against the door but that wasn't his plan. Giggling he said..wait, let me get settled...go lay down...pouting, I did. And then he saw the arrows and gave me that look. The look that I get from lovers when they think I am insane but truly loving it. I began reaching for him from the bed and he quickly put a blindfold on me.
"Hey...I want to see you, I want to attack you"....but I gave in. A blindfold always gives me that extra edge to experiment and it even increases my desire to experiment. I think its the fact that I can't see my body flaws...silly as it sounds but if I see one of my body flaws during sex, my orgasm declines and my mind wanders..with a blindfold, its as if he can't see them either.
So now I am on the end of the bed, reaching for him. Listening to his sounds as he undresses and trying to reach for his cock. Almost got it...but he managed to come around and smack me in the face with it a few times. I was hysterical laughing. There is nothing like a cock coming out of no where and smacking ya in the face and then when you grab for it...it is gone. I felt like it was a Mexican pinata...and if I gave it one good grab....all the prizes would come my way.
I was an easy prey since I had the blindfold on....he gently reached for my hand and kissed me...a luscious kiss...filled with passion and with the kiss, there was a japanese rope slipped on my wrist. I bucked like a wild animal fighting the other hand to be bound. This isn't what I wanted, I wanted control. But Mr. Porsche won..he is not the biggest man but he is so damn strong. The second arm was tied behind my back, any hope of control was gone.
He unpacked his toys and threw them on the bed...and proceeded to kiss, lick and nibble on each of my pointed areas....first my lips and then he moved to each nipple and moved his way to my pussy. I could hear myself moaning...I wanted sex today. I wanted to orgasm and he was going to take me there.
But first, he wanted to hypnotize me. I truly love it. It makes me relax. It makes my body total release all the stresses. I literally go deeper and deeper as I listen to his voice. Oh how I love it when he gets my body to agree that each sensation is heightened....that each gentle touch makes my body tingle and my clit fill to almost explosion. He has feasted on my nipples which he absolutely loves. I know that is his favorite part of my body....he sucks on them and nibbles on them like they were a succulent delicacy....its hot. And then his fingers begin to spread my lips. He first puts his fingers in my mouth and has me suck them and then he goes to my clit doing circles....inserting one finger and then two...I can feel my back arching a little. I am determined to hold off...I try not to cum. He knows I am fighting it and well....he is determined to make me cum. It's a control thing. Now that I look back, I realize that is probably the only thing I can control in this state....and like a spoiled child I am going to be stubborn. Hold back that orgasm.
However, he is prepared for my resistance....and he bites my nipples as if he knew what I was thinking....there is such a fine line between pleasure and pain and with my body in such a relaxed state, the bite sends explosive sparks throughout my whole body. He now inserts my favorite toy...oh I know it well...and my body responds...deep inside of me, you can feel and hear the wetness now. Suck on my fingers as if it were my cock....the deeper you go, the more intense your orgasm will be....in this relaxed state, I am able to take his two fingers deep into my throat without even a gag.
He is determined to make me cum. And now he is back at working my pussy....the toy going in and out and now he means business. He knows that my ass is so damn sensitive and can make me cum....he begins to insert anal beads...I am trying to resist but the wave is coming stronger and stronger....the beads are in place and now he thrusts the toy deep inside of me and it goes deeper and deeper and the feeling to cum is just overwhelming, I can't resist anymore...and with a moan and my back arching....my body begins to pulsate and the juices flowing...it was intense, it was amazing.
But Mr. Porsche is not satisfied with that one hot orgasmic orgasm. This is where it becomes a true question of what feels good and what feels too good...I need a minute or two...my clit is always so sensitive, I need ride the orgasmic wave but he won't allow that. He is determined to make me orgasm over and over again. He now goes in with his fingers. You see, he recently found my G Spot. Oh he as found it before but the last few weeks, it is as if there is a button there and he knows exactly where to go. The orgasmic wave comes again and I am literally thrashing on the bed...squirming and almost begging him to stop. At this point, my mind is in a state of confusion. you have to remember, he stripped me down, all my walls had been down, my body in relaxation and then all these orgasms...it was too much for me.
One second it felt amazing and the next it was painful. My head was relaxed, orgasming...I don't know...is it possible that it was too much excitement at once? He was biting my nipples and hitting my Gspot and I was screaming now and moaning (and the people in the next room heard us!) I heard the man say somethign about sex (yes the walls are thin). Geez, I was so damn loud...but it was almost like an out of body experience....and suddenly...Tears started to roll down my face. I can't explain it, I wasn't crying because of something...my body was responding...I have never cried during sex but the tears were flowing and I was shocked..."please give me a minute, please I need a minute". But he wasn't backing down...he continued to make me orgasm again and again..."pull out the beads...come on, you have more...pull out the beads".....And with my last bit of energy, I pulled out the beads and a moan of pleasure escaped me.....he flipped me over and I was beyond exhaustion....all I remember saying is my hands, my hands..you have to take off the ropes...please...I combination of severe pain and a desire to be free overwhelmed me.
It wasn't his fault, the ropes get tighter and tighter the more you resist. As you can imagine, I was pulling and pulling and they were cutting into my skin. He quickly removed them and the blind fold as I lied on my stomach attempting to collect myself. I couldn't sort out what I was feeling. It was a combination of every emotion possible. It was amazing yet disturbing. It felt great yet there was pain. It was overwhelming to the point of crying. WOW...it was intense and I enjoyed myself but I couldn't put my finger on if I liked it. I've never really gotten to the point where I couldn't sort out my feelings. Think about it..in life we know what we are feeling and can categorize it. I couldn't categorize this at all.
My wrists were left with marks....geez..good thing I wear bracelets and a watch..I had rope marks on my hands. Now that would be great if I got into an accident...can you imagine the forensic reports...unexplained rope marks on her hands...it was starting to turn a little black and blue. I lied there for a second....caught my breath..he took the mask off and kissed me gently. After a few deep breaths...I got my shit together....I am a fighter...I am not going to give up....laying exhausted on the bed I lifted my head up and turned to him with a sheepish smile and look and sternly said...."So are you going to fuck me today or what?" He laughed and placed the condom on and entered me from behind...our fingers entwined as he thrusted from behind. Mmmmmmm.......when his cock is hard..it feels so good. As he fills me up...it sends a balance throughout my body...I turn my head back and we begin to passionately kiss and I suck on his tongue as he goes deeper and deeper inside of me.
Mr, Porsche never comes in me. After I orgasmed again (and yes, he was right, he could blow on me and I would probably keep orgasming)....I went to work sucking his cock. Oh it is work to get him to cum but I am determined. Massaging his balls, and rubbing his cock..my lips working it up and down.....I was going to make him cum....as I went near his ass, it wasn't feeling so great for him....I laughed..after all you did to me and my ass you expect me to stop?!? I did but talk about a hypocrite....Finally after my fingers and mouth sucking his cock with determination....he began to cum and I opened my mouth wide...the cum squirted inside and literally made a pool in my mouth....my mouth was filled with cum and it was all over....I think he came a gallon...lol
I crawled my way up to his arms, and we laid there entwined. I love being in a man's arms. I miss and crave that affection...but today, something wasn't right. He was distant. I love to passionately kiss but his kisses weren't passionate. There was something there...a wall...something wasn't right. That pussycat wasn't there today....I felt as if...he was doing this because he had to not wanted to. Like...okay, here is your scheduled 10 minutes you require. I just got up after a few minutes and went into the shower. He followed and knew something was up...I don't pass up cuddle time.
His demeanor changed...he was chatty now and realized something was up with me and I asked..are you okay? Which when I say it a certain way...has a what the fuck was that tone... I'm stressed....I have a lot on my mind, its not you. What is it? And we showered talking about stuff that was bothering him. Things I understood about the pressure, about missing out on family things because of problems at work, major problems at work he was having....I am so glad we can talk. It feels so good to me to know we communicate like that and that I can be there for him.
So....it is days later....and I am still not sure what to make of the day. Giving up all your control is not an easy thing, well its not easy for me. I can't even tell you how many times I orgasmed or how many times I screamed of pleasure. But its the lack of control that makes me uneasy. Let's just say....he succeeded...I have not been horny again until today. Once in awhile, a day like that is different, fun to experiment but I need passionate, controlled by me sex too! Hmmmmm....an emotional rollercoaster....but I wanted to experiment...so no complaints....
The last few days, my mindset has been changing. It's good...it's scary....I have been really examining my life. More tomorrow...this is a long ass post....
Thursday, June 04, 2009
300,500 visitors--WOW
I don't watch the statistical counter as much as I used to. I do like to look at the vistors paths however. I find it amazing that people have found me from all over the world and read my blog. Obviously we are not as different as we all think. A common thread amongst all people from all countries-- SEX!! And CHEATING!!
Well, when I read my stat counter today...I noticed the total.... 300,500!! Holy crap. that's a lot of people coming and reading....It's mind blowing to me that I started this as a journal to avoid putting it in writing. Felt it was safe online. I never imagined anyone would find me or care to read about my dysfunctional sex life.
So I want to thank you all. Except for Mystery Man finding it...I have no regrets. I am actually so happy that I started at the beginning....its an opportunity to one day look back and remember as my life unfolded..of course, the end....its not over. Will i ever find my Married Prince Charming or even My Prince Charming? I don't know but I have certainly found amazing men and hot sex along the way.
Today Mr. Porsche answered my request to meet. Oh I am writing this and I can hardly move....the day was intense. I mean I have never had such an unusual sex experience. I combination of wild, deviant, dark, fulfilling and yet troubling. Actually, my mind is so confused right now, I can't even write about it. I have to sort it out but I can't right now its still so foggy and I have things to sort out.
So back to the 300,500 number. Thanks for being there!! Through thick and thin...the bloggers have not (for the most part judged) and you all have helped me through the darkest and the most wonderful times. So here's to looking forward to the big 500,000....can you imagine if we all got together for a party?!?! LOL
Thank you...from the bottom of my heart!! Cheri
Well, when I read my stat counter today...I noticed the total.... 300,500!! Holy crap. that's a lot of people coming and reading....It's mind blowing to me that I started this as a journal to avoid putting it in writing. Felt it was safe online. I never imagined anyone would find me or care to read about my dysfunctional sex life.
So I want to thank you all. Except for Mystery Man finding it...I have no regrets. I am actually so happy that I started at the beginning....its an opportunity to one day look back and remember as my life unfolded..of course, the end....its not over. Will i ever find my Married Prince Charming or even My Prince Charming? I don't know but I have certainly found amazing men and hot sex along the way.
Today Mr. Porsche answered my request to meet. Oh I am writing this and I can hardly move....the day was intense. I mean I have never had such an unusual sex experience. I combination of wild, deviant, dark, fulfilling and yet troubling. Actually, my mind is so confused right now, I can't even write about it. I have to sort it out but I can't right now its still so foggy and I have things to sort out.
So back to the 300,500 number. Thanks for being there!! Through thick and thin...the bloggers have not (for the most part judged) and you all have helped me through the darkest and the most wonderful times. So here's to looking forward to the big 500,000....can you imagine if we all got together for a party?!?! LOL
Thank you...from the bottom of my heart!! Cheri
In My Wildest Dreams.....
I love to read. It's mental stimulation for me. To me, a day without learning something new is a wasted day. So, I was at the bookstore and there was a table of $1.00 books....WOW, for me that is a treat beyond belief, I know...nerdy. Anyway, I found some interesting books and went for one smut book. On the cover was this tall, dark, six pack man....In Her Wildest Dreams is the book. This gorgeous greek god of sleep brings more than dreams. Hmm...we must be talking those sweet wet dreams I LOVE so much. It's a taker.
Well, I started reading it yesterday after dinner. Probably not so smart since I have been so damn horny with no release. Now usually these books are proper...with female vagina just hinted out with the old he thrusted inside of her. However, I was shocked to see this one went right for the pussy....lol
Now here is the spooky part....the woman in the book has a similiar career to me and its constantly written about in the book. And the theme of the book is about how a somnibus takes over her body at night before REM. and this greek god..is in charge of her sleep. As I am reading it....OMG, this is a book about succubus...incubus....all those things that Mystery Man used to talk about. For those of you who don't know --In folkore, A Succubus (plural succubi) is a demon who takes the form of a highly attractive woman to seduce men,[1] in dreams to have sexual intercourse, according to the medieval European legend. Its male counterpart is the incubus. They draw energy from the men to sustain themselves, often until the point of exhaustion or death of the victim.
What is the chance that I would find a book on this?!? And then...the scenes are so fucking hot. The two of them yearning for each other...that raw desire, that deep, deep want....I felt like it was one of my posts on Mystery Man. The language was explicit..leaving nothing for the imagination. The description of her nipples...pointy pink tips. As the incubus stuffed in another finger and drank up all her sensations to give him life. Heat, dampness, slickness, pressure pleasure...OH MY!!!!!! He was raping her in her sleep and she was enjoying it.
I had to get some sleep. This book was driving me crazy..The desire for sex was unbearable. I dozed off....thinking about that greek hottie...mmmmmmm.....and then when I entered REM....my dreams went to paradise and who else was there but Mystery Man. No words....we just ravaged each others bodies. Knowing our spots, knowing the right path to take...the sex was amazing....the sex was raw and hot and the sensations were wild. It was new....but some of it has already happened. His mouth was all over me, his cock was thrusting inside of me in so many different positions..and my screaming actually woke me up. I jumped up in bed and looked around. And I was not surprised to find that I was drenched and my pussy was pulsating, yearning for the real thing.
I was dazed and confused and wished that I could have that wild sex again. I am sooo afraid that such passion and chemistry only happens once in a lifetime and I already had my once. I know he's gone but I can't help but hope that every once in awhile that I seep deep into his dreams and we are experiencing that deep, hot passion we once had. And maybe one day...he will hopefully break down and the stars will be alined and I will be just as horny...and we will meet...for an amazing day of endless sex to make up for the months we were apart. No words necessary...we would let our bodies do the talking.
Sigh...I have to try and work. I think if I don't get sex within the next few hours, I may die. Here's the thing about being so sexually charged...I think people around you feel it. I just came from the dentist and he was literally checking me out..I mean not even being inconspicious. now I admit it...my tits are ripe today and my nipples are rocks because I am so horny and they are showing through my shirt. But he was talking to me and he was not even looking at my face but looking my body up and down and undressing me with his eyes. He is not my type and it felt weird but it is good for the ego sometimes.
Okay back to work.....BREATH...and hope my nipples would stop being so damn pointy..I might have to throw on a sweatshirt...lol
Well, I started reading it yesterday after dinner. Probably not so smart since I have been so damn horny with no release. Now usually these books are proper...with female vagina just hinted out with the old he thrusted inside of her. However, I was shocked to see this one went right for the pussy....lol
Now here is the spooky part....the woman in the book has a similiar career to me and its constantly written about in the book. And the theme of the book is about how a somnibus takes over her body at night before REM. and this greek god..is in charge of her sleep. As I am reading it....OMG, this is a book about succubus...incubus....all those things that Mystery Man used to talk about. For those of you who don't know --In folkore, A Succubus (plural succubi) is a demon who takes the form of a highly attractive woman to seduce men,[1] in dreams to have sexual intercourse, according to the medieval European legend. Its male counterpart is the incubus. They draw energy from the men to sustain themselves, often until the point of exhaustion or death of the victim.
What is the chance that I would find a book on this?!? And then...the scenes are so fucking hot. The two of them yearning for each other...that raw desire, that deep, deep want....I felt like it was one of my posts on Mystery Man. The language was explicit..leaving nothing for the imagination. The description of her nipples...pointy pink tips. As the incubus stuffed in another finger and drank up all her sensations to give him life. Heat, dampness, slickness, pressure pleasure...OH MY!!!!!! He was raping her in her sleep and she was enjoying it.
I had to get some sleep. This book was driving me crazy..The desire for sex was unbearable. I dozed off....thinking about that greek hottie...mmmmmmm.....and then when I entered REM....my dreams went to paradise and who else was there but Mystery Man. No words....we just ravaged each others bodies. Knowing our spots, knowing the right path to take...the sex was amazing....the sex was raw and hot and the sensations were wild. It was new....but some of it has already happened. His mouth was all over me, his cock was thrusting inside of me in so many different positions..and my screaming actually woke me up. I jumped up in bed and looked around. And I was not surprised to find that I was drenched and my pussy was pulsating, yearning for the real thing.
I was dazed and confused and wished that I could have that wild sex again. I am sooo afraid that such passion and chemistry only happens once in a lifetime and I already had my once. I know he's gone but I can't help but hope that every once in awhile that I seep deep into his dreams and we are experiencing that deep, hot passion we once had. And maybe one day...he will hopefully break down and the stars will be alined and I will be just as horny...and we will meet...for an amazing day of endless sex to make up for the months we were apart. No words necessary...we would let our bodies do the talking.
Sigh...I have to try and work. I think if I don't get sex within the next few hours, I may die. Here's the thing about being so sexually charged...I think people around you feel it. I just came from the dentist and he was literally checking me out..I mean not even being inconspicious. now I admit it...my tits are ripe today and my nipples are rocks because I am so horny and they are showing through my shirt. But he was talking to me and he was not even looking at my face but looking my body up and down and undressing me with his eyes. He is not my type and it felt weird but it is good for the ego sometimes.
Okay back to work.....BREATH...and hope my nipples would stop being so damn pointy..I might have to throw on a sweatshirt...lol
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Got the Mediator, Side Note..the sexual tension is unbearable
I spoke to a friend, lawyer I had met on facebook awhile back, who is excellent at what he does. No, we haven't had sex...he is my ice cream buddy. We go for ice cream sometimes and just talk about life (we've kissed...licked the ice cream off of each others faces is the most sexual contact we have ever had). He is also going through a rough time...they even went to a divorce attorney, his wife lost her job and then they proceedings stopped.
Reality, the hubby can't afford a lawyer. So if I want a divorce, it is going ot have to be through mediation. I got a name and I am calling today. I can't meet her alone I don't think....we have to meet at the same time I think. I am going to call today.
I wish I had a crystal ball...dom't we all?
As a side note, I have been searching Ashley Madison and found two men. Here's a hint gentleman....when you are trying to impress a woman and she asks..have you had an affair? She really doesn't want to know detail to detail....I mean explicit details of the sex and how amazingly hot and what a perfect body she had. And how she could give a blow job like no one else. Hmmm...just a hint. Especially even when you finished the conversation and he sent a note that she gave the best blow job he ever had. Hmmmm....I needed to know that...why? and even as an after thought. I started laughing. He's either really stupid or really dumb...lmao
So I put him to the curb. Two others, spoke to but my heart isn't into it. How ironic, since MM is gone, i haven't wanted to find another. I'm not waiting for him...he is gone (ok, a glimmer wishes he would decide he is horny, call me and we can fuck for hours)...but I haven't felt the desire for the search.
Today, I am soooooo damn horny. Poor Mr. Porsche...he's in a meeting and I call him. He picks up and says everything ok? With people in front of him....I asked...am I on speaker? No..he said. I said GOOD....I think you should stop the world right now and come over here and satisfy my because I am soooooo damn horny and need your cock right now. All you could hear was laughter from him. And a thanks, that is going to help me finish this meeting...lol He's so cute...I love shocking him like that....keeping him on his toes...keeping him young. Spontaneous....erotic...passion...hot sex....oh man...I need the world to stop right now and for me to let go of all this build of tension.....
Reality, the hubby can't afford a lawyer. So if I want a divorce, it is going ot have to be through mediation. I got a name and I am calling today. I can't meet her alone I don't think....we have to meet at the same time I think. I am going to call today.
I wish I had a crystal ball...dom't we all?
As a side note, I have been searching Ashley Madison and found two men. Here's a hint gentleman....when you are trying to impress a woman and she asks..have you had an affair? She really doesn't want to know detail to detail....I mean explicit details of the sex and how amazingly hot and what a perfect body she had. And how she could give a blow job like no one else. Hmmm...just a hint. Especially even when you finished the conversation and he sent a note that she gave the best blow job he ever had. Hmmmm....I needed to know that...why? and even as an after thought. I started laughing. He's either really stupid or really dumb...lmao
So I put him to the curb. Two others, spoke to but my heart isn't into it. How ironic, since MM is gone, i haven't wanted to find another. I'm not waiting for him...he is gone (ok, a glimmer wishes he would decide he is horny, call me and we can fuck for hours)...but I haven't felt the desire for the search.
Today, I am soooooo damn horny. Poor Mr. Porsche...he's in a meeting and I call him. He picks up and says everything ok? With people in front of him....I asked...am I on speaker? No..he said. I said GOOD....I think you should stop the world right now and come over here and satisfy my because I am soooooo damn horny and need your cock right now. All you could hear was laughter from him. And a thanks, that is going to help me finish this meeting...lol He's so cute...I love shocking him like that....keeping him on his toes...keeping him young. Spontaneous....erotic...passion...hot sex....oh man...I need the world to stop right now and for me to let go of all this build of tension.....
Sometimes Good By Is a second chance......
It's been a rough day....lots of issues at home. Ever feel like you wanna run away? This song sums up my mood right now....
Monday, June 01, 2009
Hot....Sexually Hot....
Mr. Porsche and I met the end of the week. You know I wasn't sure if we were in a funk. I was beginning to think he wasn't into me anymore. I wasn't thinking there was going to be a hot meeting..its been me lately. A lot of it is me. As he says, I have been very high maintenance lately. Shows ya how it is probably best to have two men....takes the pressure off of one. I guess I am a PITA (Pain In The Ass) or its just that I am independent, know what I want and I am not afraid to say it.
Anyway, we only had two hours and we met at the motel. there was something different. His cock was hard and he was psyched to see me. Now when he is fully endowed I cannot deep throat him....its impossible..I try but he is huge.
He did some relaxation on me and massaged my shoulders. And we had amazing sex...his cock remained hard and he was able to thrust deep inside of me. I love that he likes to see me masturbate. He sat and watched and was playing with my nipples....it always amazes me how hard they get and how it is such a turn on and how wet I get that he is sooo into my nipples. I shaved almost completely and he ate me out...mmm...relaxing and delicious. And then he as a way that he finds my Gspot. It is as if he is digging for gold and when he finds it....oh there is no denying that he found it. MY entire body reacts and begins to pulsate. His fingers so deep inside of me....and he keeps at it..knowing he found the spot...all I can do is moan, that aura of ecstasy overcoming my body, providing total balance. I love that feeling. And he keeps going determined to get me to have mulitple orgasms and my body responds with the juices flowing.
He did me from behind and then me on top...and then the time was almost over. I laid in his arms and he kissed and held me. Today was amazing. I ended up blowing him and then he came...mission complete. This was a great meeting. And then, he loves to make me giggle...he started tickling me and annoying me and I just started laughing and laughing. going after his ear which makes him nuts. Laughter is such a great relaxer and you feel soooo damn good.
we quickly showered and it was over. He kissed me good by and I thanked him. amazing how I get such balance from sex. I called him again on the way home....I have to see you next week. It wasn't enough, He laughed. Time is tight but we are shooting for Thursday...my body is yearning for more orgasms......
Anyway, we only had two hours and we met at the motel. there was something different. His cock was hard and he was psyched to see me. Now when he is fully endowed I cannot deep throat him....its impossible..I try but he is huge.
He did some relaxation on me and massaged my shoulders. And we had amazing sex...his cock remained hard and he was able to thrust deep inside of me. I love that he likes to see me masturbate. He sat and watched and was playing with my nipples....it always amazes me how hard they get and how it is such a turn on and how wet I get that he is sooo into my nipples. I shaved almost completely and he ate me out...mmm...relaxing and delicious. And then he as a way that he finds my Gspot. It is as if he is digging for gold and when he finds it....oh there is no denying that he found it. MY entire body reacts and begins to pulsate. His fingers so deep inside of me....and he keeps at it..knowing he found the spot...all I can do is moan, that aura of ecstasy overcoming my body, providing total balance. I love that feeling. And he keeps going determined to get me to have mulitple orgasms and my body responds with the juices flowing.
He did me from behind and then me on top...and then the time was almost over. I laid in his arms and he kissed and held me. Today was amazing. I ended up blowing him and then he came...mission complete. This was a great meeting. And then, he loves to make me giggle...he started tickling me and annoying me and I just started laughing and laughing. going after his ear which makes him nuts. Laughter is such a great relaxer and you feel soooo damn good.
we quickly showered and it was over. He kissed me good by and I thanked him. amazing how I get such balance from sex. I called him again on the way home....I have to see you next week. It wasn't enough, He laughed. Time is tight but we are shooting for Thursday...my body is yearning for more orgasms......
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