A Sex Filled Weekend

The one thing the new guy is teaching me is how to relax. We spend hours upon hours in bed just holding each other and rubbing each others backs and massaging each other. He likes to cuddle!! We went out with a friend of mine and her boyfriend, which was something new...and then we came back to my house and relaxed. Nothing like some wine and well, we did something I haven't done in a long time...I got stoned! I was never into it as a younger person but I actually really like it. It makes my mind go free. And I giggle and giggle and giggle.

We lied in my bed and he began kissing me and I could feel his cock was hard. We quickly undressed and had some good ass sex. Deep thrusts....very deep and fast and hard....then he likes to cum on me...and I will fingerpaint with his cum all over my body. With the cum on my face, he kissed me and we smooshed the cum all over our faces. It was hot!

Next was my tub. There is nothing like my tub. With romantic music playing, the jets swirling, a bottle of wine, the candles burning, the moonlight shining in....its a recipe for romance. And how hot a person looks in candlelight and the reflection of the water. Our kisses are unexplainable...they are intense, they are deep, they make me melt into his soul. And he feels it too. There are no words to explain our kisses, they are slow and deep yet fast and intense....we kissed for 40 minutes....craziness. And i took pictures of us kissing and you can see the passion...WOW...To my amazement that just from our kisses, in 103 degree temperature, after just having sex less than an hour before---his cock was hard as a rock. And he was shocked too! Just kissing and sucking on my nipples, makes his cock hard. He loves how pointy my nipples get. He tells me over and over that he hasn't ever seen a finer set of nipples.

Getting out of the tub, we collapsed in the bed. And after some giggles and watching tv, I can't help but start playing with his cock again....but he's like nope, its my turn to eat you. The man kills me...he is such a male version of me. He listens to my moans, he listens to my ahhhs and he pays close attention to what makes me get wet and what makes my clit get all engorged and my muscles pulsate. And just like I do with a blow job, he choreographs the perfect pussy eating. He knows a nibble on my clit with some circles with his tongue, some licks, light circles, fast tongue action, slow tongue action. It's a challenge, it's control....and it kills me that he knows just how to make me cum. Oh I love it but he is so smug that I attempt to hold out....and he laughs because he can feel my clit about to explode, he can feel my body shaking....come on baby, let it go....and he goes in for one more nibble and lick of my clit and I explode....a wave of orgasms as my body thrashes on the bed. And then he fucks me again....its mindblowing.

Five times in 15 hours is pretty damn good. But I do have to teach him to make love. He's petrified, a big step but I like it slow and hot too....and he's willing to learn and we've gone 3/4 but its going to take awhile for him to get that slow, hot, orgasmic sex. But he will.

We were in bed till 2:30pm, watching tv, I love Lucy and just talking, cuddling and laughing. We slept two hours the whole night. Our little sexfests are hot. The laughs we have, the things I think only we would find funny--he's got that same warped humor I have so its hysterical.

Our big joke since we met was that every woman his whole life has tried to rein him in, make him more responsible....but he loves to have fun. Our big joke from day one was that there is no woman who would ever get him to sign up for online banking. At 4AM, totally exhausted--I told him it was time...Yes, I was going to get him to sign up for online banking. He was laughing so hard, its like a major commitment for him..lol And so I sent him out in the cold to get his checkbook and we signed him up. at 6AM, I rolled over and cuddled into him as woke him up with a nice blow job to start the morning off right.....but before I went down to his cock, I whispered...good morning Mr. Online banker.....he laughed and got the best bj of his life!

So, I am relaxed. I am okay with us. He hasn't been sitting online and i haven't been on my online either. It's been nice that we are enjoying each other with no other distractions. As he put it.....we fuck until my cock is going to fall off. do you think I even want to think about another woman after our weekends?!? Aaahh, now there's a plan.....keep screwing till he begs me to stop because his cock is going to fall off.

I am enjoying us. Is it perfect? OMG, it is so headed for destruction for soooo many reasons but for now...I am happy and he is too. Yeah! Don't think is my motto and today I am sooooooooo not thinking!

Pre-Sexual Flashback Torture

The last week has been like a whirlwind. I met New Guy. It's funny because he called me to his friends New Girl and I called him to mine, New Guy. We started talking on Monday last week and well he sucked me in. Constant calls, sexual talk, talking about our lives, our dreams, our desires and we were up till 4AM every night. He's dangerous. The worse type of guy is one that comes in like a whirlwind where you feel you are so caught up in it and that its been going on forever. Your soul feels good, your head feels good and you feel so fulfilled. Honestly, it felt more like an affair meeting from Ashley Madison than a date!

So, we met on Thursday for coffee. I wanted to meet him to see if there was any potential. No need to get all worked up and then be let down that there was nothing there. He says he is so taken by me. My looks, my brains, my smile, my flirty way and the fact that I am not a pushover. I tell him like it is. You are different, you aren't like the other girls (geez, as I type that I realize how I was so suckered in).

He's brilliant but he has that darkness about him. I find brilliant men sometimes have this really dark tortured side. As if they are too smart for this world. Amazing how such brains can torture a man. I think its on the lines of Einstein and Picasso. There is a fight within themselves. I am attracted and drawn to men like that. Actually the Mafia guy from two weeks ago was like that too and I also think thats where Mystery Man's darkness came from too. Oh there were others but a lot of them were smart taught. These men are acceptions, their knowledge, their brains are above the norm.

He wanted me to see him on Friday night. I had a date but I ended up cancelling it. I needed to see if I was into this guy or not. He admits to being a flirt and a little bit of a player. Making me feel like I am different, I am the first girl he really liked (oh my, how suckered...lol). He actually did tell his friends about me because one of them text and said so is it as good as you thought with the new girl? That made me feel good.

There is a part of the area that he loves. This area along the water that it seems when people move there, they never want to leave. This is where he wants to get an apartment, right now he is in the basement of his house until he can legally leave. He took me out to this amazing restaurant and we kissed and held hands. We talked, we laughed and we had a great time. It was cold out but I said--well you took me here, lets go to the water. Freezing cold, we were both shivering and we kissed by the water under the stars. A block away, his friend had a million dollar home that has a separate little cabana that he had the key (how convenient). We went there to hang out. I looked at him and said...leave the condoms in the car. Oh he's one of those that doesn't like condoms but with me--no condoms no sex. And honestly, if the condoms were in the car, I knew we were not going to have sex. He laughed, hoping to sway me but I was like---empty your pockets dude...put the condoms in the car.

We went into the apartment and I so didn't want oral sex either. I made it clear to him but I ended up sucking his cock. I know, I just couldn't resist. It was very tempting and I was hot and horny. We were totally naked and he was devouring my nipples. OMG, you have the most amazing nipples. I guess they are pretty hot looking. He's not the first to tell me that. Size D tits with nipples that get all pointy...real pointy...an inch or more...he was dying and you know how there is a direct link to my pussy. I was drenched. When he went to put his fingers inside of he was like, wow! you are so wet, that is so hot! As he was fingering me, I needed to cum, I needed to go over the edge. I had to get there so I started to play with my clit. You are so fucking hot he said. It is such a turn on to watch you masturbate and see how your face is at such peace.

I came so hard..the wave overcame me. My entire body pulsated and I could feel that euphoria I love so much. A wave of heaven and then I sucked on him for just a few minutes and he came all over me. He asked, can I cum on you and I said where ever you want baby. He moaned and he came all over my tits.

We cleaned up and laid there for a few minutes and then we got dressed. He drove me home and we talked and laughed the whole way. I was calling him on things. He's used to girls falling in love with him right away. Are you in love with me yet? I said OMG, yes, let's run off to Vegas and get married tonight! and we both laughed. Wise ass, he said. Yeah, that's me baby. Don't hold your breath, I ain't fallen like the other chickies!

He walked me to the door and came in for a minute and then he left. When he got home, he called me and we spoke till 5AM. It was crazy, I am into this guy. the last two hours we talked about work. He was cracking up, he said, OMG, you are so damm smart and I am getting a woody from it. Now that is sick. I am so turned on by your brain that I am hard as a rock. We both laughed. Most people do phone sex, we did work sex.

Go out with me tonight, he said. Oh man, I had a tentative date with non-committal weekend. I will have to let you know in a bit. I called Mr non committal weekend and it still was non committed for the night because he had to work late so I told him lets make it another night. I don't want to get mad. He said, go ahead, call the next guy. I laughed but it wasn't that far from the truth. He's not stupid, I know he feels I am dating other people. Pulling away just a little.

I called back New Guy...Okay lets go out. I want to take you to a motel. I want to be alone with you and hold you. He's a major cuddler. I want to eat your pussy. He loves pussy. Geez, I am not sure I am ready for this. We will see I said. Lets start with dinner. I heard there is a great motel that is clean and he names it. My coffee went flying out of my mouth. It was the motel that was mine and Mystery Mans. Now I am sure Mystery Man is there every week with a new chickie but I have only been there once with Mr. Porsche. It was a little weird but I know him so well so it wasn't so awkward. This was different, this was a new guy. A new guy having my first encounter. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. It's just a damn place, I told myself. You were there once before, you will be fine. Mystery Man long forgot about you and has probably made that his own place with someone new. You're over it. Deal with it.

And so the evening began. He picked me up, he kissed me so sweetly, he opened the doors and closed them for me...he's a gentleman. And he sweeped me off to a restaurant with a fireplace. Actually I had been there with Mr. Security before and another date but that didn't matter. I love this place in the winter, sitting right by the fireplace...let the fun begin!

I introduced him to my special toys!

Today was a day totally opposite from yesterday....but there is one common thread that is truly upsetting to me. I need to know, do condoms cause a man's penis to go limp if he is not used to wearing them? Realistically here I haven't had a hard cock in quite a long time and I am beginning to think it is me. The cock gets hard, the rubber goes on and with a thrust or two.....shrinkage. Please tell me this is normal and does happen or I will never take my clothes off again!!

The day however was amazing. The men I have been busy with are basically all aggressive. Oh there have been gentleness and slow, intense sex but today....it was truly vanilla. Vanilla like I have rarely experienced before. Mr. Organized and I met at a hotel. He picked a beautiful one too. He kissed me so gentle when I walked in and told me that I looked gorgeous. That I am so sexy. The man is just filled with compliments and for a change that is soooo nice.

We gently kissed for awhile and he undressed me as I undressed him. He laid me gently on the bed and he kissed me working his way down gently to each of my nipples and then kissing his way down to my clit. This man knows how to give oral. For a good 1/2 hour he was giving me the most amazing oral with his tongue gently licking my clit and one finger gently inserted. And as he made my body respond with an aura I almost didn't want to cum. It felt so good, it felt like heaven. However, when his finger hit my gspot and his tongue licked my clit so gently.....I could see the fireworks and I grabbed his hair and said..OH MY GOD!!!! The rush came over me. WOW, now there was an amazing orgasm.

And now it was my turn to reciprocate....I gave him the same treatment. Had him lie on the bed and I slowly worked my way down from his lips to his throbbing cock....I licked and sucked and massaged his balls....he got all excited and within 10 minutes he came. We both lied in each others arms and then we cuddled and kissed. It was so nice spooned together. It felt just right.

I was surprised when he started up again and said he was ready for sex. his cock was hard but not super hard. He put the condom on and then he thrusted and went limp. Now he was so upset. You could see the stress on his face. I am so sorry he said. OMG, I was so content, I was totally good with the day. Let's eat apples...he just laughed and said you are so cute. But he was stressed. Feeding him organic apples, I told him why was he upset? Was it me? He swore it was just the realization that he was getting older. I felt horrible.

And we lied there a little longer. I swore to him I was fine and I totally was. Let me take you to lunch he said. Oh no...we were not ending like this after a fantastic experience. I looked at him and said NO. So then I got up and said...my, my let me see what I have in my magic bag here. And I pulled out my bullet. I have to admit I had a vibrator and scarves to tie him up but I think he would have died. I turned the vibrator on and began playing with it and like a little kid his eyes lit up. Have you ever played with toys? No, he said. Have you ever masturbated? Again he said no. He was a good catholic boy. aaah, I see. Would you like to watch me masturbate? Oh yes....and he had a huge smile. I admit it , I felt like the devil at that point. Sucking him in to the world of bad boy...but I was intrigued that he never played with toys. So I began to masturbate with it and he was intently watching.....I was close to another orgasm and I said to him now you help me.....and he pushed the bullet in and out and he was enjoying watching it. I ended up cumming and then I pulled him on top of me for a little 69....

we both dropped to the bed and we relaxed. But I wasn't done...I turned the bullet on his cock...and made him just lie there and feel the vibrations. Do you like it? Oh yes.....on your cock or your balls..both but more on my balls. And so I used the bullet back and forth and back and forth..This baby got some power...Its my good and Plenty that I had lost for awhile. His cock got fully erect but what was even more amazing was his face. His face lost all its stress lost all its presence and he looked so peaceful, he looked like a little boy....I kissed his nose and traced my fingers on his face. Oh he was relaxed and it looked great. His face looked totally different.

Ironically to my surprise he said the same about me. That watching my face as I was about to cum was the most amazing experience for him. that I looked like I was so relaxed and so balanced and happy.

Time for a shower but honestly, he was not the type to jump into the shower with. Well not yet at least. So baby, did you have fun today i asked him? OMG, you are unbelievable. You do not know how I have never experienced a day like this and he gave me the biggest kiss.

And then I sat there wondering....wow, I have come a long way. The past five years I have experienced so much sexually. I have two people to really thank for that. Introducing me and making me feel good about vibrators and positions and exploring. I truly began enjoying and learned how to give a good bj with Mystery Man. I mean reality is, he was the first man's cock that I really wanted to suck. That I found to be irresistible. Lucky me.

And as for the cock going limp, be honest is it me? I am beginning to get a complex here since it is both with Mr. Porsche and now Mr. Organized. It's like a mixed signal I am getting. Do you think it is nervousness, age, condoms....what do you think?

i had a good day. My second date cancelled and then there was an incident with Mr. Astronaut. He removed me from his BBM friend list and I got a note. I was devastated. OMG, is this his way of cutting me off. I was sick..I called him and I sent a note to his friend to see if he deleted me. In the end, his phone crashed again and he lost all his friends. The feeling I felt truly upset me. That i felt so much for a man who could treat me so poorly. I realized that I need to separate myself from him. He is funny though. I told him I thought he dropped me as a friend and he said... ASS....lol... you need a part time job or a hobby...basically saying..you get so uptight and think too much. His humor is dry and always makes me smile. But I give and get little in return. In fact, I didn't even post the thing about my girlfriend and Mr. Astronaut. i will have to get to that.

sigh...I need to prioritize, he is right. My priorities have been slipping. I need to focus on the house and children and work. Sadly, my sleeping has been so bad and I am having a hard time concentrating. I am overwhelmed in all those areas so I strive for an escape....nothing feels like that aura when you are about to cum.

Sweeet dreams dear friends!!! xoxoxo

Mr Sports Arrives After One Year of Cock Teasing

So it is two weeks shy of one year that my best girlfriend introduced me to this guy. a big shot in sports management. she knew him from her days of dating some pro ball players. He has been a good friend of mine for almost a year. He says he's coming out to see me and he never ends up coming so should I have thought he was going to show up tonight? Of course tonight he does. giving me 4 minutes to prepare.


Nothing is stranger than talking to a man for a full year and never knowing what he looks like yet he knows so much about you. He knows my tones, my fears, my desires and my wants. I am coming over to be with you! OMG! I never even thought about it. I can't sleep with a stranger who is not a stranger but a good friend. I told him I couldn't. I don't know you...he laughed and said, I know you very well and I'll be there in two minutes.


I started to get a panic attack and the gigglesd. He knocked on the door and when I opened it, there stood an unfamiliar face yet the voice was one I know so well. What a bizarre and strange feeling. I smiled and kissed and hugged him. I explained that I felt so strange. He said he felt totally comfortable...why? because he had a picture. He understood how I couldn't jump into bed with him so we sat and talked for awhile. I gave him a tour of the house and he wanted to see the famous virgin bed which we all know is no longer but I left out that fact. We hung out on top of the bed, listened to the radio and we began to talk.


Talking in the almost dark, I heard the voice of my dear friend as I lied on his chest. And then I reached up and kissed him. I giggled but was feeling more comfortable. His hands wandered and he slide his hand in my pants. Fingering me, I began to really loosen up. And of course seeing his hard on in his pants did not help the situation....well.....the man loves to eat a woman out and I haven't had a good eating in awhile...hmmmm...and you can certainly guess where there is going.


For a good 15 minutes, he feasted on my pussy until I came. Oh I was feeling so selfish at this point. And then I opened his pants to a hard cock. It was more of two friends experimenting than the intense passion. There was a comfort there for me. And he was excellent at eating pussy. While he fingered me. Man, he was good. I slide my hands on his cock and could feel it bulge as my hand touched it. You could hear a little moan from him. That to me is always enticing. I get off knowing that I am pleasing someone. So I worked my way down to devour his cock. Oh, he moaned and moaned good. After an amazing blowjob, I looked at his cock and felt that it would be a waste for him to cum and us not to have sex. I love what it feels like when a man sticks his cock so deep inside of me. I love the thrusting...I love when a cock first enters me and it spreads my lips and then my muscles wrap around his cock.

So i told him, get the condom. The guy hasn't worn a condom in a million years but no raincoat, no sex. So he put it on and thrusted inside of me...it was french vanilla sex. i say that because it was missionary but I added a little flavor to it with my legs wrapped around him and my additional hip thrusts. Soon after, he came. If he didnt announce it, the little moan was all he gave. Afterwards, I loved his reaction. His mind was blown. He laid there and felt amazing. He held me close and we chatted. Actually even called my GF because she couldn't believe we finally met.

Well the sex was good but you know me, i need to push the limits. can he get it up again. I just started playing a little after 10 minutes and it began to rise again. Yes, there was life! So now there was a challenge. He said there was no way it was going to get hard enough to screw again...aaahh!! That is a challenge I will take on. And so I did with a great handjob and a little lip action and well, his cock was up again. There's not way I will cum, I can't believe you even managed to get me hard again. Hmmmm....lets try! So he went isndie of me again and this time I wrapped my legs around him and thrusted my hips too even faster and then I played with his balls and to his surprise, he came again. As he looked me in the face, he had a dazed look. "I haven't been able to cum twice like that in 20 minutes since I was 17!" He collapsed on the bed. He works out daily and responded that this was a better workout then he could do at the gym.

he made me laugh so hard. He truthfully was shocked that he was able to perform like that. Holy shit, you are amazing. And that made me feel great. My girlfriend called me this morning and we laughed. Amazing how times have changed. When I said goodby to him it was totally fine. You see, it was more like a sport then it was an actual sexually intense attraction. The sex was like an activity. He's my friend but I had no attachment. It was nice. We both laughed, yes, I was feeling like a man feels after sex. Now i get it. There's no emotional attachment, it was fun. That was it. I like him but it was like he was my tennis partner or something. Too funny.
In fact, 15 minutes later, I was on the phone with Mr. Porsche who is out of town and chatting. With him there is emotion, it was so different.

So that was my day yesterday....tons of talking to various men, four dates and one sexual rendezvous. No wonder i was so tired this morning. Yesterday was a day I certainly will remember.

Mr. Cableman is a PITA

While I was with Mr. Porsche, Mr. Cableman knew it. So he called two times just to be annoying. It was pretty funny because I knew what he was doing. We are just good friends now. He had met a girl online that he has been seeing pretty regularly, the one he took to the hotel where Mystery Man and I used to frequent. He was telling me how hot the sex was...my reaction was...honestly, in that room you could probably have sex with a piece of dead wood and the ambience would make it good sex. He joked and said that my pix was in the lobby as a guiness book holder of visits to the hotel. I had to laugh. It certainly brought back some flashbacks. He was dying when I asked him about the neon lights and told him about the porno movies. He didm't have a mirror the first time on the ceiling, I told him to make sure he asks for a room that had one. the second time he was smart enough to ask for the mirror ceiling and he didn't use his real name this time. LOL I haven't been there in a very long time.

Last night, Mr. Cableman went to the movies with his GF. Of course, I had to return the favor and text him three times during the movie. He called me after and told me that I am way too funny and he couldn't stop laughing. I am sure the GF is not crazy about me. Oh, there was an incident when TWICE, he called her Cheri. She finally asked who I was....yikes. I told him as long as he doesn't scream my name during sex, he should be okay! We are just buddies and it is going to stay that way I think. I enjoy him as a friend and flirting by phone and text. Certainly is a highlight of my day because he is funny.

I told him to cut the hole in the popcorn bucket like I did when MM and I went to the movies. But watch out for that salt, I heard it burns. LOL He was laughing, you didn't do that? I started laughing remembering the flashbacks.....oh yeah I did. With the same hotel guy? he asked me. Yeah...with that same guy. So he asked...why aren't you two together anymore, it sounds like you guys had the ultimate banging thing going on? Long story was all that I said. Nope, not going there with him or anyone. You are never going to tell me are you? All I said was..... what does it matter, we aren't together and you are right, I don't want to talk about him at all!

When I think about my past, I admit to three guys. Mr. Government, Mystery Man and Mr. Porsche. Honestly, that is it. The rest were fleeting events all jumbled into one grouping. DigEm also had an emotional friend connection but it wasn't a true affair. But honestly, that is it. Reality is, those were the ones that made a true impression on me and my life. Mr. Government, an obsession because he was my first but reality is...that's all he was, my first. I was so naive, I had no idea the sex wasn't that great. And well, you know the other two. Those two I can honestly say are rocking chair material. Yup, when I am old and grey and sitting on that rocker on my porch, if I have any mind, I will watch the grass grow and think about how they fucked me soooooo gooooooooooood.

At this point, there is no one on my plate. There were three guys I was talking with and I threw them all back. I am not going to start off with someone who is needy or totally lost in their life. In today's economy, many of the men that I knew and know are struggling with their work...and for them, I would be there 120%...but I have no patience for these guys who have been totally lost their whole lives. One guy last night was telling me how he worked on Wall Street, was into demolition, is now an electrician and is going to work at a ticket booth this summer...and he graduated college with a Finance degree. you do what you gotta do but this guy never stuck to any job in his life for more than 1 year. He also is 44 and still lives with his parents. He is cute but not for me.

I have to find me. People don't live as insane as I do. I am constantly spiraling, so much on my plate, so much to take care of, up all night with the kids, clients wanting more and more....I just feel like the life is being sucked out of me. What I would do for two caring hands to wrap themselves around me and just hold me tight to give me back that energy. Someone to take this heavy load off my shoulders and off my heart even if it were for ten minutes. So a few tears just fell, I need to get back on track.

Deviant Sex

I have come to the conclusion that Mr. Porsche and I definitely have deviant sex. It's bordering S&M. I have been in a real funk. I am miserable about myself. My appearance, my emotions, my life. Mr. Porsche sensed it today. Amazing how I tried to be upbeat but he said there was something in my voice that he can sense my sadness. I guess when you know someone for so long, you can tell their mood just by their hello. we were going to meet tomorrow but he moved it up to today. And now, I am glad.

Sex with Mr. Porsche, while normal for us, certainly has a different flava. When I am uptight...I always like to start by sucking his cock. Something about it relaxes me and takes me away. I love to see if I can get his entire cock in my mouth down to his balls. Today, I was successful. Deep sucks and lowering him deeper and deeper into my throat avoiding a gag reflex. Yum!! Amazing how the gag reflex relaxes more and more with practice.

Next, he loves to make me cum. I shaved my pussy except for a little strip. He took out the bag of ammunition and I knew I was going to cum and cum hard. A vibrator in my pussy and then he starts counting down as he is tightly twisting my nippples. When he starts to count, I feel the pressure and lose the orgasm....crap, but then he decides a bullet up my ass will put me over the edge. Well, I honestly can say it makes me feel like a pinball machine....all if a sudden there are sparks going all throughout my head...TILT...TILT....TILT....and my whole body loses control. But he doesn't stop there, he keeps going which makes me a little uncomfortable, borderline of pain, fear...I don't know but he holds me down to make me cum again. Now I am convulsing on the bed.

He's been talking about a woman joining us lately. As we all know, I am not there. Not what I really want but if it turns him on, its worth the talking. He fucks me with my legs in the air and then he turns me around. For some rear entry action. Slow and steady wins the race and that was exactly what it was. There's one point where I am not sure I can continue but that feeling slowly turns into pure pleasure. And he just keeps going until I cum again.

I collapse on the bed...we take a break and then I go back to giving him a handjob and using our prostate toy on him. Oh, I forgot to mention that he used it on me..we now own two! One doesn't have vibration (that is mine). Kind of cute...matching his and her anal toys....something every couple should own! Well this time, I can feel his prostate and he moans when I hit it. And then I go to town...just massaging it enough that is it driving him wild. He cums and he cums hard and then it stopped and he came some more. Holy crap, that prostate massager does do a number on him. Now Mr. P loves to be in control. So while he laughs and loves the feeling, it blows his mind that he is so out of control. A feeling he has never felt before.

We don't have a lot of time. We lie there and talk a little. He massages my neck and tries to get me to relax. I definitely felt better after one of our sessions. I started writing this on Thursday and finishing it now. Tonight I am not feeling so great. Mentally and physically, I am drained. I am definitely depressed. I am feeling very alone. There are actually no frogs in the pond or I should say I have thrown out all the frogs in the pond. Mr. Rockstar, I ignored his text. Mr. Cableman is not what I want. Mr. Divorce Attorney and Mr. Myspace Attorney, I ignored their texts. And that is it. I am alone because I am really choosing to be alone. Not sure how I feel about it. I just know I should be doing work and I can't. I am soooo tired lately. I just want to sleep and sleep. things keep breaking in the house, I fixed them today but I am drained. Heading to bed, heading to sleep. I seem to be focusing on happier days right now.

What happens if that is it? Do you ever think that we have an allotted amount of good times in life? What happens if I used mine all up already? I mean what happens if I am never satisfied again as I was a few years ago. A high unlike any high..what happens if I don't feel that high again? Okay, I am getting very deep. I guess exhaustion can do that to you.....worries and worries.

Sweet dreams!!

Mr. Astronaut stops by for an almost booty call

I was home working and couldn't concentrate. I sent Mr. Astronaut a text "Where are u?" At work, he said. When is your break? What are you thinking? he sends with a little smiley face.
Oh he knows what I am thinking. "I am thinking that I want to screw the crap out of you and suck you until you cum." I'll be over in an hour.

Showered, shave, sexy underwear, lots of lip gloss, makeup, and my silk robe with my leopard fuck me shoes. Now we are ready to go. Just as I finish, he texts me, open the door. There he was looking hot as ever and I pull him in, close the door and push him against my door with a lustful kiss as if I haven't seen him in years. I take his hand and lead him upstairs. We are chatting but we both are thinking about what we are going to do.

I rip his pants off and throw him on my bed. Aren't you going to close the drapes? Nope, lets let the world see. My room is high up so no one can see in but I have these huge windows that while its hot because it feels like the world is watching us, it sucks because it is so damn light and sunny in there. I have to think of a way to fix that....grrr... Anyway, I pulled off all his clothes and immediately began sucking his cock. And then he threw me off of him and began opening my robe and began to insert his finger inside of me. Oh man, he was searching for that g spot and was so close. Its raw there is no romance here. Wait, my toys. And I take his hand to my toy drawer. Oh shit, he laughed. Yes, its starting to fill up with vibrators, dildos, nipple clamps, oils, rubbers, ropes, blindfolds....its starting to become a great collection. He grabs my favorite vibrator and we are back on my bed. He is kneeling and playing with my nipples and thrusting the vibrator deep inside of me. I am sucking on his cock. The wetness is almost out of control, the vibrator is slipping deep inside of me and out...its so hot and a wave of orgasm overcomes me.

He's telling me how fucking hot it is to watch me cum. And then I throw him over and settle inbetween his legs. Your going to cum for me. Oh yeah, can I cum in your mouth? YES!! And so I work my magic on his cock. Licking his head, sucking his whole cock, he shoves my head down but I do not gag...I can hear his moan. And then has he is buried deep inside my throat--he shoots and it hits the back of my throat...I gag for a second but hold on and he shoots again and I gagged again but held on......and then he grabs my hair so my face is looking into his eyes and he just said...you are so fucking hot and such skill. we both laugh.

Now remember, he is the one with the serious cuddling issues. So I just got on top of him and we talked a little. No cuddling although it was so tempting to crawl into his arms. I told him he could shower....and then he began to look around at my room. Holy shit, your room is unbelievable. It does look great with my steam shower, huge tube and now my four poster bed. What a setup you have here. When he finished his shower and we kissed a little more, he went and took a tour of the rest of the house. He had helped me build my steps and he joked that he couldn't believe I had done them (and he didn't even fall). And then I realized he was in deep thought. Oh no. The thing I learned about him is that he loves to save women. And honestly, while I am suffering with the bills and you all know how tough my life is....I am fixing the house up amazing. And I do not look at all right now like I am suffering. After awhile he says...you have an amazing home. (I felt like I lost points on that one. I guess I was losing that slut image in his head. It would be harder for him to own me and control me. I remind him how I work so hard for it. Seeing my house may have been a mistake. I guess it takes the mystery out of the person).

He left and he grabbed me and started to pull me close. Today was so fucking hot. And then he was off. Who knows where this is going to take us.....

Mr. Astronaut is caught up in this threesome thing and us not having sex until we do it. After that, I will do whatever you want. Those words just seem so damn hot and since I have been fantasizing about a threesome, hey, I think its worth at least looking into it.


I was home working and couldn't concentrate. I send

Passion, Desire, I NEED YOU NOW!

There is something about Mr. Astronaut. He is such oozing with sexuality. I have not felt such desire and lust for someone in a long, long time (Mystery Man). Just a three words..."where are u?" makes my panties wet.

If you have been following my blog, you will know that we met eight months ago. Haven't seen each other but have been in constant contact almost everyday or every other day. He has this fantasy of a threesome. His theory, if we don't do it first, we will get too emotionally attached and it will not happen. so we have been at a crossroad. Our main activity has been phone sex and pictures of me masturbating and his hard cock. You gotta admit, camera phones are such a dangerous thing. you can snap a pix and instanteously send it to someone. Most of my pix lately have been for him. He loves that high shiny lip gloss. He also thinks that I look sexy with no makeup, half asleep. My type of guy. If stilll think I am sexy just waking up, well then your a keeper.


I have been telling him, I want to see him again. His face is fuzzy. I need to see him in person. He said no, that we can't fool around. Its going to ruin everything. I convinced him that we could meet and kiss. Keep the spark going. Constant BBMs back and forth building up the anticipation. So here is the thing, I was on a mission. And when I want something bad enough, I go full force for it. Here's the thing. He's a law enforcement and our government does a great job of teaching these government agents how to keep their control and be disciplined. Frustrating to me yet even more of a challenge.

That evening, where are you? He was on the job, undercover somewhere in the area. He never tells me about his work and I don't ask anymore because he can't talk about it. I will say how is your day but that is about all I can get out of him or he's out in the field. Tonight I was determined to get him to meet me. He had a break coming up where he could get away for 15 minutes. Hmmmm....MEET ME. He hesitated. I just want to kiss you and give you a kiss you will never forget. I know you have limited time and you have to get back to the area but meet me so we can just kiss and then you can go on your way. I sent him a pix of me under the covers and smiling. Aaah....he couldn't resist. "A kiss and then I gotta get back. And don't get mad if I am on my way and I get a call that I gotta go back. I can get away for 15 minutes..that's it". Okay...so we rushed. I got dressed quickly and he started driving and I started driving and we were on the phone. we drove until we met. Luckily, I knew of a parking lot that wasn't very busy and I told him we should meet there.

I couldn't take the anticipation. I couldn't take the spontaneous excitement. This was like one of my slutty romance novels but it was happening to me. So damn hot. Like two animals in heat, we needed to meet. "Which is your car?" And he flashes his light so that I can see as I waited at the light. When I saw the lights flash, I could feel my pussy tighten. Somehow, someway I needed to get this guy. I cannot wait for a threesome because I don't know if I am ready for that. "I got a call, I gotta go back so hurry". CRAP...I rushed to his car.

I opened the door and I could feel the desire hit me like a swoosh. Oh, I was not going to be able to stop at a kiss. "Is this seat taken?" And I just jumped in his car and leaned over and began kissing him with so much passion, desire and lust that it was overwhelming. I kissed him like it was the last kiss I would ever experience in my life. With my hands on his face and moving to the back of his head. Our tongues entwined, our breath shallow, this was unbelievably hot. And he was so into it. Grabbing my hair, pulling me closer and there is no doubt in my mind that we are sooooo compatible. Sex would be insane.

I want to make you cum..he said to me and his hands went down my pants as I began to open his pants. NO...he said. I am going to make you cum. And I threw the seat back and he went in my pants....playing with my clit and then his fingers inside of me...I could hear the moan yet my mind was in some far off space of ecstasy. As he fingered me deeper and deeper and I got wetter and wetter...I could feel the rush of orgasm come over me and my body start to pulsate. the foreplay was the drive over and the anticipation, it was easy to make me cum with such foreplay.

However, I was determined to get into his pants. I opened his pants now and pulled his hard cock out. I kissed him again savagely, licked his ear and after a brief handjob I whispered....baby, I soooo neeed a taste. How could you resist? well he couldn't and I went down on him. I am not going to cum, he protests. If I cum then we will never do my threesome. And then I went to work giving him a superb blowjob. Licking and sucking and deep throating where you could hear his moans. Him pushing my head down but I was able to take his cock deeper and that just turned him on even more. He tried to pull me off, I had him so close, I could taste the pre-cum and he got me off for a second and then I went back down again. I could hear him moaning, it took every inch of discipline and control that he had not to cum.

I want us to fuck...I want to feel you inside of me, spreading my lips apart...feeling you so deep inside of me. "We don't have a condom". "I DO" hehehe....I had just bought condoms just in case for my house. I grabbed one as I was running out. Uggghhhh!! I could hear him say. You are making this impossible. Oh I wanted to just jump on that cock. "NO, I will be pissed if I do because you are perfect. you are the perfect girl except the threesome. If we fuck, we will get emotionally attached and not be able to do my fantasy. Its my bucket list. I need to do it". So you don't want to fuck me? I said it in a sexy whisper. "OMG! I am about to explode and I can't think of anything else I want to do right now. you make this impossible. OMG, you are so fucking hot". And then I went down on him again. I love to make him moan. BUT....he managed to keep the control.

I would have had him if he really didn't have to go. He was being noticed missing at this point and he had to get back. I gave him one more intense kiss and he grabbed me by the back of the hair. "You and I are going to be dangerous". And I kissed him gently and smiled and jumped out of the car. Within an hour, I was pulling back into my driveway. What an unbelievably hot 35 minutes. Holy crap...the passion, the sexual tension, the desire...it was amazing.

And while I didn't get him to cum. I have no doubt that he will fuck me soon. Before the threesome. there is no way he will not be able to. He text me after (and we have been trying to get our schedules to match up all week to meet again). "baby you have skills". Aaah, I think that is one of the best compliments. He told me he can't stop thinking about me. he can't stop fantasizing, he can't stop thinking of how amazing I am at sucking cock. Oh yes, this man will be in my bed by the end of the weekend.

Since we met, I am pleased to say that I really do think this guy is going to be something memorable in my life. I posted the threesome thing on a website, no responses yet. But I can see before we met, he wasn't going to see me until we had the threesome. I convinced him to meet me for a kiss and now, well I see he is swaying. I sent him a note...thanks for the sampler. He just started to laugh. Man, you are so damn perfect and so hot. YUM!!

But no matter what happens. I will never forget the anticipation of just jumping in a car and both of us driving towards each other until we both met on the road. You make your own destiny in life. My theory, you should shoot for moments like this. Let yourself go and make your slutty romance novels become reality. this is just another that goes down in history.

And now....he is going to stop off at my house tomorrow before he goes to work. Or at least we are trying to make that happen. My virgin bed.....are you going to allow some other man to de-virginize it?! I think he will give in tomorrow...the virgin bed is pulling him in!

Now It was His Valentine's Day Treat

FIRST--YES THIS IS US...I LOVE PHOTO FIXING!

Mr. Porsche loves to watch me cum. It gives him so much pleasure to watch each orgasm. But I also love to give him pleasure. Nothing is more desirable than to know that I am pleasing him. after lying down, I tokd him to roll over and I would give him a massage. A combination of deep massage and light tickles. He was in heaven. I massage ever inch of him from his head to his toes (literally). And then I worked my way back up to his ass.....slowly he feels me working up that way and he opens his legs.....I oil up the prostate massager and slowly and gently teasing him until he is ready to feel me insert the massager into his ass. I work it around until i get there and he rolls over.

Here's the thing about the prostate massager, it is hot when you find the right spot. It makes him lose control, giving him a strange sensation that makes him feel like he is going to cum hard and he doesn't. It's little internal orgasms that causes that euphoria. He giggles, losing control is not something he is used to. This feeling, like a little boy with a sheepish grin, he is enjoying it and I am getting wet knowing I am pleasing him, knowing I am controlling the situation.

His cock is huge and I can see his pre-cum at his tip. I try to give him a handjob but its his own technique that can get him off. this is probably the most frustrating thing. Oh, there is no doubt that I can get him hard as a rock, get the pre-cum there but I don't seem to be able to get him over the top. With rubbing his balls and his magic touch...he came and he came hard....the prostate massager rubbing and pressing against his prostate. Moving it around and watching him moan....yes, I managed to give him that Wow...the pinball TILT! He then finally came...I open my mouth as he squirts his cum all over my face, some in my mouth, dripping down my cheek and quite frankly some shooting over my head.

And then we laid there. It was late, we were doing it for over two hours already so there wasn't much time to cuddle. He doesn't love cuddling, he does it for me. He told me he is happy to do it for me because he can see in my face how much I enjoy it. I love the gentleness, I love the holding and closeness, entwined bodies. I am finding out more and more its not many guys thing but if they are willing to do it for me, they are special.

And then I wanted to take a pix of him which turned into an ordeal with us outside, giggling and wrestling...the camera flashing all over getting flashes of light only. A woman had gotten out of her car and she was laughing at us, enjoying our little scene..running around the car, him grabbing me and the camera just flashing away. She actually stopped to watch us and she had that sheepish grin on her face. That look a person has when they are remembering some flashback in their past that brought her that fun, free romance.

We left and I was sad. Yes, sad because now I wouldn't see him for almost three weeks. Sad because my Valentine's day was over. This was all I was getting this year. Don't get me wrong, I guess its better than being with someone you have fallen out of love with, there won't be an awkwardness on the day, a twisting in my stomach but it would be nice to have someone especially since I won't have the children for the weekend.

What A Hot Hose He Had

So I had a date with the fireman on Friday night. Truth is, I have to learn the single rules of dating. I am a newbie in this world. There seems to be rules and timelines and I have no idea what they are. A married man, there is no timeline. You either like each other or you don't. If you like each other, you plan for additional meetings and the wings of lust fly you away. With single men, there are rules?!


The fireman picked me up at 7:00PM. I jumped in his car. I hate the first second. Neither one of you knows what to say or think...OMG, does he like me? OMG are we into eachother? I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. While he looked a tinge older than his pix...not much really...he looked hot like his pix. I was very happy and was hoping so was he. We went off to a nice restaurant where we shared appetizers, had drinks and even shared our meal. We had lobster and steak and scallops, shrimp and clams. We talked, we laughed and he did magic tricks. Very cool, he made the salt shaker disappear. He made a coin change....it was fun. We talked joking, we talked serious...it was a nice night. And the drinks, we kept drinking and drinking. I have decided I can't drink like that on first dates (you will see why!) But I wasn't tipsy but feeling very nice. The french fries came and there was one that was over 9 inches long. I am bigger than that he said and I started laughing. I actually snapped a pix of the fry which I will have to post tomorrow.


After dinner, we went to the bar for a drink and we sat and talked some more. He finally reached over and kissed me. Okay, he was into me. I thought he was, I mean he invited me to his getaway house for one unspecified weekend but if he didn't like me, he didn't have to invite me. As we were sitting at the bar, I realized this was the same restaurant that wacko pulled out his cock at the bar. He started to tell me how I would be very impressed with his. I giggled and said, oh no..are you going to whip it out?! I would never, he said. I would just show pictures. We both laughed. He went on and on how magnificent it was....I was laughing hysterical. I reminded him that he shouldn't praise it so much, I might see it one day and call his bluff.

One more drink, and I actually was seeing a picture of his cock on his camera. Well I have to say, first, that he is built unbelievably. We are talking he has the broadest shoulders and strongest legs. He has one hell of a body. And his cock, I thought you couldn't build up muscle in your cock but this guys cock is something I have never seen before. Most guys cocks have girth but they are wide with thickness. This guy's cock reminded me of a budweiser bottle. It looked really round and as thick as a bottle. Wow, this wasd unique. And in length, it seemed long. His cock looked like it worked out!! lol


After kissing at the bar, we decided to go to a local arcade place. In front of the place, he leaned over in the car and kissed me. It got really hot and intense. The passion was flowing and I could feel myself getting super wet as I could also feel that he was getting super hard. At one point, II knew we had to get out of that car because we were attacking each other.

Playing the games, he was shocked when I beat him at a skeeball. Eventually he figured out that the scores were accumulating but I denied it. It was too funny how he couldn't believe I would win something. Air hockey, he kicked my butt. I was pretty good at deal or no deal and wheel of fortune. We drank some more and we played the games and it was really a lot of fun.

At one point, we sat down at the bar and drank. The conversation ended up getting serious. As a fireman, he is faced with some serious things and well, one event actually has left him with some serious lung issues. He also told me that they found spots on his kidneys which he isn't checking into. That made me sad. I could tell that his eyes were getting a little watery. How this conversation came to be? We were talking about life. How you gotta live one day at a time. How you should just go for it and not think about tomorrow because there might not be a tomorrow. Do today and live it like it were your last day. (Okay, so now you must be seeing the frame of mind that was developing....drinks, hot man, live today....need I say more!)

We actually played in the arcade until one in the morning. We handed in our tickets and I got...a stuffed frog!!!! Yes, for my bed and I must confess, a Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo always makes me happy but then of course I had a fleeting moment of thinking of Mystery Man (which passed now that I know he is fucking around). With stuffed animals in hand, we went to the car and headed to my house.

Talking and laughing the whole way home. We got to my block and we stopped at the corner so I could kiss him goodnight. Well, that was some hell of a kisss....it was intense and hot and I didn't want to stop. Strong, his body so hard against me....I didn't want to sit there just in case my neighbors would see so we went to the schoolyard and parked.

Well, when we got to the parking lot, I don't even remember starting to kiss but it started to get super hot. And I felt myself getting super horny....and his cock was super hard and I had to see it up close. So as his hands massaged my breasts and he squeezed my nipple, I removed his cock from his pants. AllI could say is WOW. that baby was round like a beer bottle. He was super endowed, I have never seen anything quite like it...my hand didn't fit around it...I stroked up and down and he moaned with each stroke. And I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter and pulsating more and more. Oh my, this was getting way too heated but I couldn't stop. The more I touched his cock, the more I wanted it deep inside of me.

I pulled him over to my seat and we lowered the chair. His hot body was lying over me, his shirt was off now and I could hardly contain myself. Dear God, this man was built with a six pack and more. My pants were opened and his were too...thankfully we had nothing or we would have fucked right there. But he touched me and he could feel the wetness which made him moan even loader....I was still stroking his cock when he moved it up to my mouth...I hesitated but then I couldn't resist....he kept leaning above me and moving his cock in and out of my mouth. My pants were all the way down now...and I just had to rub my clit for one second, the idea of the car passing, us in the open, his hard cock and body, his cock in my mouth.....and then he said..oh man, I can't hold it, I am going to cum... so cum I said.... and at the same time, we both climaxed and he shot his load all over me hair and face....he quickly grabbed his shirt to wipe me off..I giggled. I can't remember the last time I came so quickly and got so damn wet like that with little help.

He drove me home and kissed me good night. I don't remember much about getting into the house. And I felt great. I sent him a text the next morning, he answered and said he had a fun time too. And then I didn't hear from him or did he say we will have to do this again. It just laid there and I realized what a mistake I made. I should have refrained but I didn't. It just felt right. Of course, my friends all yelled at me and that made it worse. Today, I couldn't take it anymore, I called and apologized for drinking and what happened.

He called back a 1/2 hour later....Hey baby, who are you apologizing to? I thought we were going with the live and let live attitude? I know, but I felt like it wasn't appropriate. Oh come on, stop it. He wasn't feeling well, had been at the doctors. I'll call on him to check on him tomorrow. I guess I like more definite plans after. Like, hopefully we can get together again soon?!?

On another note, Mr. Porsche called on Friday night, two times. I think he knew, I always answer my phone. He called on Saturday to check on me. And my buddy, Mr. Security, called today. He is going through a tough divorce and he needed to talk. I love that we are friends. The movie Hangover is coming to Movie On Demand next week and we have made a date to watch that together at my house. I don't know when but hopefully soon. Things are okay with us and I like it. With Mr. Security, I think its not the right time for us but for some reason, I think we will be together again in the future. Only time will tell.....

There are others, Divorce Attorney wanted to come over, Mr. Astronaut/the Cop and I are fighting over a threesome. I am perfect except for that is his words. Grrrr....after I told him about my date, he ran onto Ashley Madison and has been on there for two days now consistently. He's trying to find that perfect woman. I keep annoying him by writing, you will never find anyone like me..your loss baby. It's pissing him off...lol

Was It Pleasure or Pain? How Many Orgasms Is Too Much?

As I had told you..I had been so damn horny I was jumping out of my skin. All I could think about was having sex....images of being thrusted from behind just filled my head...and Mr. Porsche couldn't resist a damsel in sexual distress.

He cleared his afternoon (which isn't easy so I did appreciate that) but he hit lots of traffic. I got the hotel room and waited naked in the bed for him. A prelude to this, I had masturbated earlier because I didn't want to cum immediately....but I still was damn horny. The anticipation was driving me crazy. The room has this little sitting area that if anyone wanted to watch us from outside....they certainly could see through the thin drapes. And this room also did not have the best sound proofing. Last time, we could hear a couple moaning in the next room.

I was certainly in a playful mood and I truly wanted to dominant and take control today. AND of course, that doesn't happen with Mr. Porsche. you would think he could let me take control even a little....nope. It's not an option for him which does annoys me. My vision was for him to come to the door and I would throw him up against the wall and I would attack him. I had to remember...that was Mystery Man..over, done....move on.

To entertain me, I had taken a body crayon I had found in the bottom of my bag. Hmm...I decided to mark off the areas of concentration for him with big arrows, I circled and pointed to my nipples, my lips and my pussy. I didn't want to waste time for him to find the important spots.

I am now getting frustrated. I mean what is taking so long...the phone rings, "where are you? I can't wait anymore, I may die of horniness!" He laughs...I'm still a little away..just relax and think of how wonderful I am going to make you feel. I have plans for you today". And with that sinister laugh, I felt my heart jump and my nipples harden. Little did I know what he had planned.

I hung up the phone and there was a knock on the door. I was startled. Who the hell is this? I should have known....you see Mr. Porsche loves to keep me off guard. It was him, I was shocked. I opened the door and stood beside it totally naked. He smiled. He walked in and I leaned into him...wanting to push him up against the door but that wasn't his plan. Giggling he said..wait, let me get settled...go lay down...pouting, I did. And then he saw the arrows and gave me that look. The look that I get from lovers when they think I am insane but truly loving it. I began reaching for him from the bed and he quickly put a blindfold on me.

"Hey...I want to see you, I want to attack you"....but I gave in. A blindfold always gives me that extra edge to experiment and it even increases my desire to experiment. I think its the fact that I can't see my body flaws...silly as it sounds but if I see one of my body flaws during sex, my orgasm declines and my mind wanders..with a blindfold, its as if he can't see them either.

So now I am on the end of the bed, reaching for him. Listening to his sounds as he undresses and trying to reach for his cock. Almost got it...but he managed to come around and smack me in the face with it a few times. I was hysterical laughing. There is nothing like a cock coming out of no where and smacking ya in the face and then when you grab for it...it is gone. I felt like it was a Mexican pinata...and if I gave it one good grab....all the prizes would come my way.

I was an easy prey since I had the blindfold on....he gently reached for my hand and kissed me...a luscious kiss...filled with passion and with the kiss, there was a japanese rope slipped on my wrist. I bucked like a wild animal fighting the other hand to be bound. This isn't what I wanted, I wanted control. But Mr. Porsche won..he is not the biggest man but he is so damn strong. The second arm was tied behind my back, any hope of control was gone.

He unpacked his toys and threw them on the bed...and proceeded to kiss, lick and nibble on each of my pointed areas....first my lips and then he moved to each nipple and moved his way to my pussy. I could hear myself moaning...I wanted sex today. I wanted to orgasm and he was going to take me there.

But first, he wanted to hypnotize me. I truly love it. It makes me relax. It makes my body total release all the stresses. I literally go deeper and deeper as I listen to his voice. Oh how I love it when he gets my body to agree that each sensation is heightened....that each gentle touch makes my body tingle and my clit fill to almost explosion. He has feasted on my nipples which he absolutely loves. I know that is his favorite part of my body....he sucks on them and nibbles on them like they were a succulent delicacy....its hot. And then his fingers begin to spread my lips. He first puts his fingers in my mouth and has me suck them and then he goes to my clit doing circles....inserting one finger and then two...I can feel my back arching a little. I am determined to hold off...I try not to cum. He knows I am fighting it and well....he is determined to make me cum. It's a control thing. Now that I look back, I realize that is probably the only thing I can control in this state....and like a spoiled child I am going to be stubborn. Hold back that orgasm.

However, he is prepared for my resistance....and he bites my nipples as if he knew what I was thinking....there is such a fine line between pleasure and pain and with my body in such a relaxed state, the bite sends explosive sparks throughout my whole body. He now inserts my favorite toy...oh I know it well...and my body responds...deep inside of me, you can feel and hear the wetness now. Suck on my fingers as if it were my cock....the deeper you go, the more intense your orgasm will be....in this relaxed state, I am able to take his two fingers deep into my throat without even a gag.

He is determined to make me cum. And now he is back at working my pussy....the toy going in and out and now he means business. He knows that my ass is so damn sensitive and can make me cum....he begins to insert anal beads...I am trying to resist but the wave is coming stronger and stronger....the beads are in place and now he thrusts the toy deep inside of me and it goes deeper and deeper and the feeling to cum is just overwhelming, I can't resist anymore...and with a moan and my back arching....my body begins to pulsate and the juices flowing...it was intense, it was amazing.

But Mr. Porsche is not satisfied with that one hot orgasmic orgasm. This is where it becomes a true question of what feels good and what feels too good...I need a minute or two...my clit is always so sensitive, I need ride the orgasmic wave but he won't allow that. He is determined to make me orgasm over and over again. He now goes in with his fingers. You see, he recently found my G Spot. Oh he as found it before but the last few weeks, it is as if there is a button there and he knows exactly where to go. The orgasmic wave comes again and I am literally thrashing on the bed...squirming and almost begging him to stop. At this point, my mind is in a state of confusion. you have to remember, he stripped me down, all my walls had been down, my body in relaxation and then all these orgasms...it was too much for me.

One second it felt amazing and the next it was painful. My head was relaxed, orgasming...I don't know...is it possible that it was too much excitement at once? He was biting my nipples and hitting my Gspot and I was screaming now and moaning (and the people in the next room heard us!) I heard the man say somethign about sex (yes the walls are thin). Geez, I was so damn loud...but it was almost like an out of body experience....and suddenly...Tears started to roll down my face. I can't explain it, I wasn't crying because of something...my body was responding...I have never cried during sex but the tears were flowing and I was shocked..."please give me a minute, please I need a minute". But he wasn't backing down...he continued to make me orgasm again and again..."pull out the beads...come on, you have more...pull out the beads".....And with my last bit of energy, I pulled out the beads and a moan of pleasure escaped me.....he flipped me over and I was beyond exhaustion....all I remember saying is my hands, my hands..you have to take off the ropes...please...I combination of severe pain and a desire to be free overwhelmed me.

It wasn't his fault, the ropes get tighter and tighter the more you resist. As you can imagine, I was pulling and pulling and they were cutting into my skin. He quickly removed them and the blind fold as I lied on my stomach attempting to collect myself. I couldn't sort out what I was feeling. It was a combination of every emotion possible. It was amazing yet disturbing. It felt great yet there was pain. It was overwhelming to the point of crying. WOW...it was intense and I enjoyed myself but I couldn't put my finger on if I liked it. I've never really gotten to the point where I couldn't sort out my feelings. Think about it..in life we know what we are feeling and can categorize it. I couldn't categorize this at all.

My wrists were left with marks....geez..good thing I wear bracelets and a watch..I had rope marks on my hands. Now that would be great if I got into an accident...can you imagine the forensic reports...unexplained rope marks on her hands...it was starting to turn a little black and blue. I lied there for a second....caught my breath..he took the mask off and kissed me gently. After a few deep breaths...I got my shit together....I am a fighter...I am not going to give up....laying exhausted on the bed I lifted my head up and turned to him with a sheepish smile and look and sternly said...."So are you going to fuck me today or what?" He laughed and placed the condom on and entered me from behind...our fingers entwined as he thrusted from behind. Mmmmmmm.......when his cock is hard..it feels so good. As he fills me up...it sends a balance throughout my body...I turn my head back and we begin to passionately kiss and I suck on his tongue as he goes deeper and deeper inside of me.

Mr, Porsche never comes in me. After I orgasmed again (and yes, he was right, he could blow on me and I would probably keep orgasming)....I went to work sucking his cock. Oh it is work to get him to cum but I am determined. Massaging his balls, and rubbing his cock..my lips working it up and down.....I was going to make him cum....as I went near his ass, it wasn't feeling so great for him....I laughed..after all you did to me and my ass you expect me to stop?!? I did but talk about a hypocrite....Finally after my fingers and mouth sucking his cock with determination....he began to cum and I opened my mouth wide...the cum squirted inside and literally made a pool in my mouth....my mouth was filled with cum and it was all over....I think he came a gallon...lol

I crawled my way up to his arms, and we laid there entwined. I love being in a man's arms. I miss and crave that affection...but today, something wasn't right. He was distant. I love to passionately kiss but his kisses weren't passionate. There was something there...a wall...something wasn't right. That pussycat wasn't there today....I felt as if...he was doing this because he had to not wanted to. Like...okay, here is your scheduled 10 minutes you require. I just got up after a few minutes and went into the shower. He followed and knew something was up...I don't pass up cuddle time.

His demeanor changed...he was chatty now and realized something was up with me and I asked..are you okay? Which when I say it a certain way...has a what the fuck was that tone... I'm stressed....I have a lot on my mind, its not you. What is it? And we showered talking about stuff that was bothering him. Things I understood about the pressure, about missing out on family things because of problems at work, major problems at work he was having....I am so glad we can talk. It feels so good to me to know we communicate like that and that I can be there for him.

So....it is days later....and I am still not sure what to make of the day. Giving up all your control is not an easy thing, well its not easy for me. I can't even tell you how many times I orgasmed or how many times I screamed of pleasure. But its the lack of control that makes me uneasy. Let's just say....he succeeded...I have not been horny again until today. Once in awhile, a day like that is different, fun to experiment but I need passionate, controlled by me sex too! Hmmmmm....an emotional rollercoaster....but I wanted to experiment...so no complaints....

The last few days, my mindset has been changing. It's good...it's scary....I have been really examining my life. More tomorrow...this is a long ass post....

Some Phone Sex with my newest Ashley Madison Find

What an insane weekend. My computer totally crashed and the backup files were corrupt for many months. I have been up for 36 hours now trying to return my desktop. However, I went deep into my files and found so many frog pictures. Hot naked chests, big cocks, sexy faces....of course the faces I remember but I can't put all the cocks with the faces.....its like a puzzle...some hot looking cocks I just am not sure where they came from but they are still floating on my computer.

Which led me back to Ashley Madison for a couple of hours tonight. Mmmmm......I love flirting. Nothing like some innocent exchange of flirtation to get your blood boiling and your thoughts of another extramarital affair not too far on the horizon. I've been talking a lot to the Other State Guy, don't have a name for him yet. Not sure what I would name him. Into financials but based upon his location I think I am going to call him Mr. Heir. Why you may ask? He comes from one of the richest areas on the coast. He's an Heir that has a little bit of an air about him. Not sure what I am feeling about that. I like the real men. Someone in between where he has either a brain or street smarts about him. Don't get me wrong, he's down to earth but when you come from old money, there is an air about you.

However, I do know that his sexy voice is irrisistable (reminds me of Digem)
....mmmm.....hearing his voice makes me just want to cum. And I took the opportunity again today to have him call me and walk me through a masturbation session.....nothing like closing your eyes and listening to a hot man's voice telling you how to do circles on your clit...an then asking you to feel if you are wet...which if you weren't makes you instantly wet. Now use your wetness to lube up your clit to do those circles....mmmmm.......now imagine me teasing you...just putting my head at the tip of your pussy, about to go in, just going in to spread you and then pulling out....do you want me to go back in? Oh the visual is hot!! I LOOOOVVEEEE IT!!! With a few little teases, I can feel myself getting soaked and my muscles begin to pulsate.....ohhhhhh here comes that rush I love so much.....and with the tightening and the pulsations, the orgasm cums and I can hear myself moan.... oh he is pleased with himself (as so he should be)...working me up like that, with just his voice. Oh he did send me some pix of his cock.....very nice head. You know how I love that mushroom head. Perfection!! Cocks are so hot..each one so different, no two ever the same YET each one has its own sex appeal....and boy does my mouth water at the thought of wrapping my lips around one of them.

Okay, now I have to go back on Ashley again. I am determined to find a frog that has it all...the brains, handsome, quick witted, sexy, sexual, sensual.....oh....sometimes it feels like a needle inside a haystack but I am determined. Actually, I laugh.....it has to be Spring Fever. My two girlfriends who are on there are also in heat. Determined to find the right man. As you know, one is testing them all, the other has given herself a deadline....May 1st she wants a lover to go through the summer. Hmmm, I have no goal mentally but physically my body and lips are craving something.....and it ain't White Castle but it is meat!!

AND--I did add some of my favorite blogs that I stop by, I have been very lax with that....I am going to keep updating it for now on so keep checking it out!

Her Lips Watering At the Thought of His Cock...

with her lips watering, she thinks about her lover. Flashback to his cock going so deep inside of her mouth...perfectly fitting to the back of her throat. A vision of him thrusting inside of her so deep...hitting the perfect spot and she parts her legs and sees his sexy smile. Wait.....she's standing at the end of the bed with one leg up and her lover is entering her from behind. But now, he has chosen anal......so tight....but she relaxes, knowing that once he enters, the feeling will be like no other....paradise.....desire. An afternoon with her lover leaves her fulfilled, content, without a care in the world......

Yes, she wonders, when will I see him again? She can feel the desire growing within her......her lips unconsciously watering with the thought of his sweet juices exploding in her mouth.......oh when will she be able to escape and visit paradise with him again?


So....I sent this to Mystery Man.....do you think I will get an email back? yes, he read a card I sent to him....but no response. I can feel my anticipation and nervousness growing....while my masturbation thoughts have been about Mr. Porsche.....I cannot help but desire Mystery Man. I can't masturbate thinking about him...its strange...yet, I daydream of our sex together and I salvate and get wet when I envision his cock.



Mr. Porsche...looks like he's flying out of town for business and won't be able to fit me in before.



so let's see....I have two lovers and I can't get laid? Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Breathing Is Essential During A Blow Job!!

A favorite position of Mystery Man's and Mr. Porsche's.... to think it has a name....

the Throat Swab...my biggest complaint..I can't
breathe sometimes and there have been times when I was feeling dizzy. No air and blood rushing to head...can be a dangerous situation...A aahh...I love this position. He is able to get his cock deep,deep inside my mouth. It's hot.

Well, I was always thinking that it was me. You see during a blowjob sometimes, their cock blocks off my airway...forcing me to come up for air. Phew, its something that happens to others as well.

Here is the directions to this position....hehehe. I sent it to Mystery Man....he was laughing so hard....his response "No Breathing Allowed" such the smartass!

"The male version of eve's ecstasy, the throat swab can be a very exciting position for many men. The performing partner lies back on a bed tilting their head upwards over the edge while their partner penetrates their mouth from a kneeling, squatting, or standing position. Since the receiver needs air to stay alive, we recommend that you make sure to give them time for air... We know that's asking for a lot, but if you let your partner breathe, they'll be able to do it again..."

A Newbie at Submissive Sex

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Sex Like I Have Never Had Before....

I can barely walk last night and this morning. Last week, I thought sex was amazing with Mystery Man. Today, it was a blissful sex marathon. We usually spend 3 hours, today my present was 6 hours. No we didn't just lay around...we fucked, sucked and did so much the entire time. I don't think we missed any position and we actually discovered a few more that were amazing. I have never left where my pussy was aching....today, still wet and dripping....my pussy reached its maximum capacity!! I couldn't fuck another minute...our last screw ended up us giggling and laughing because we realized our cup had just runneth over....we were sexed out! Now it takes a lot to get to that point. So you can imagine how many times we fucked. Six condoms (and we were using them for awhile)...no he didn't cum six times (geez) but he was hard as a rock....and he knows how to use it.

There was a twist to our usually meetings today. Besides from the sex....we laughed. Now we have laughed before.....but I am talking about like belly laughing and snorting and laughing so hard that tears were coming to my eyes. We both were laughing and it was so nice. Gotta tell ya, he is hilarious. Examples...in a conversation he called me Little Blow Peep.....then Betty Cocker...something about playing a Skin flute as my talent, his the Skin Tuba!...Honestly, I laugh because I love to be happy but this was a different laugh. This was that hysterical...good for the soul laughing.

The sexual day was well no words can describe it. Every position, at least 15-20 times we screwed and 69nd for the longest time with me on top and him on top. With my arms pinned under his legs and my head off the bed.

He blindfolded me...what a bizarre feeling....liked it but was very hard at first to allow it...a little panic....but i worked through it and it was hot....super hot. He led me to the end of the bed, he undressed me....piece by piece seducing me as he went. WOW! And then he placed me back down and began to eat me. Not having my sight and just the feel each lick and suck was magnified. I was gasping....of course he made me cum and then he pulled me to the end of the bed...finding a position that was unique--not sure why....but just moving over an inch makes a world of difference.....I was kind of on my side, with my leg up and he was from behind or in front of me going deep,deep, deep inside of me. Finding spots that no man has gone before!! It was amazing....

Then he led me to the floor and he fucked me from behind....both of us cumming as he pounded me with his cock...my juices were flowing and so were his....the feeling of his cock entering me was so hot....I needed him,I wanted him....deeper, deeper, faster,faster.

We then proceeded to fucking in the jacuzzi and this tile area they have, then with my legs totally above my head (i knocked the painting off the wall)...he loves that I am so flexible (left over from my dancing days) and he takes advantage of that...with my legs split open--with my legs totally over my head,one leg up in the air...pumping me, me moaning and screaming more baby, more baby....my favorite position was my legs up in the air and him pumping me like a frog....how ironic is that...the frog position!!

Yes, I have had sex with other people (duh) but with him...it is seriously an unbelievable sexual connection. He makes me cum over and over and over. I should take notes as we are fucking....how many different ways I can cum! For a girl who never orgasmed, I made up for it just in this one session!

For my birthday cake, he brought chocolate frosting and we covered his cock up in frosting and he sang happy birthday to me....and then I ate my whole cake. Oh yummy! I love sucking on his cock and coincidently, he can't get enough of me doing it too! I am expanding my sucking talents...I am getting pretty good....he loves when I just suck the head tight and over and over again..nice and wet making slurping noises. He loves when I go down and do tongue twirls while he is in my mouth. Then I go up and own his shaft with my lips....(the inside for softness)....and our my newest practice....deep throating. It drives him wild!!!!! But I have to work on the gag reflex. I was the type when I saw the doctor coming with that stick, I would begin gagging.....negotiating at a young age not to use it.

It amazes me how he can tell how far into my throat he is. By the end of the day...baby, I got his whole cock in my mouth,my gag reflex wasn't really there and he was down my throat, I could feel him moving my uvula out of the way...yes, seeing him love it so much was a high for me.

There was so much we did...oh...I love it fast and deep but what really turns me on also is when he goes slow and pulls all the way out and then goes back in and then pulls out and then thrusts back in....its the separation of my walls that are so hot and sexual.

And with all that, there is a part of me that is still angry with him. He is so damn stubborn...but I will think about that another day. Honestly, I know there is only so long I can put up with his Mystery but for now...well, I had my day in sexual paradise!

And its my BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO!!! Sadly, not a word from my son or husband (major war broke out last night here..I almost called the cops). There is a lot of shit but not today, today is my birthday!! I believe in a stress free (as much as possible day). That is my present to myself!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous - Part 3

Mr. Prize has had many affairs. I guess when you are experimenting with orgies the numbers can rack up pretty fast. Our life expectancy would be about December 18th at the rate he has gone. Now there are ups and downs to that. The down--he has had many affairs (I know I have repeated myself--its not a typo). I found myself different with him. I was the student, he was the teacher. Where in my situations before--we were either on equal ground or I was the aggressive one. Here I was the follower and he was the leader.

I had nothing to teach him. I'm sure he has experienced it all before. So, I allowed him to take the leading role. Something unique for me, but enjoyable none the less.

He took my hand a led me off the bed. We were now standing on kissing. Slowly he lowered me to my knees and he pushed my head to his cock. Quite the submissive role. He was in charge and I was following his lead. He thrusted his cock deeper and deeper into my mouth as he stood and I knelt. His hand held my head steady to get the right angle and right penetration. It was quite the submissive role, I could feel my vulnerability. Yet, I did enjoy it. So nice for someone to be in control for a change. Aah!! I had always thought I would enjoy being in a submissive position and yes..I did.

We returned to the bed and it was my turn now. Yes, my favorite position...from behind! He angled me perfectly and deeply went inside of me. I could feel him hitting just the right spot for my body to react. It was nice, it was intense...it was my favorite thing in the world!! Thrusting faster and faster, deeper and deeper....and he started to spank me. Not hard, but just enough to make me feel the sensation. It was hot. I haven't been spanked in many a years.

He slowly pulled me toward the end of the bed. He was standing and I was in a perfect position. He was toying with my ass. And then he inserted....relax, was all I could remember saying in my head..and so I did. The sensation of him in my ass was amazing. It was like enhanced sex..not painful like I had imagined, in fact, it was quite erotic. To my surprise, he went in with no problem and except for the increased in the orgasm, I was kind of surprised at how it felt so great. So much so that I kept asking him if he had been in my ass.

Well I am sure, I love anal sex! From that angle it didn't hurt but with each thrust I could feel myself increasing in desire. Yes, i can see anal sex is now on my list of things to do on a regular basis.

He went back to fucking me from behind on the bed and we both orgasmed at the same time. It was amazing. We hung out, we talked, we had a good time. What a strange feeling to be so close to a stranger. Have such a connection with a stranger.

Will we have a rendezvous again?? Actually I don't know. The distance is tough but reality is...I don't think I am enough for him. Here is a man who has experienced so much and so many woman in life. It was a phenomenal, phenomenal experience which I wouldn't trade for anything AND I enjoy talking with him. He mentally stimulates me as well. But I am looking for someone who is into me. Someone who wants a one to one affair that we both can enjoy each other. Mr. Prize loves sex, he loves woman and he loves experimenting.

So who knows.....time will tell. But if it doesn't work out, hey, I accomplished a couple of things on my Wish List all in one night!!

A Secret Lover Rendezvous Part 2

As I climaxed, I noticed Mr. Prize was watching me....enjoying the look on my face of total fulfillment. Enjoying watching my body contract...he was getting a thrill out of giving me such a thrill.

Now as a pleaser, it was strange to just lie there and allow someone to do all the work. Gotta tell you, it was a great feeling. Two orgasms back to back. One from him eating me out and the other from his fingers inside of me and in my ass. I decided, I was going to let him be in charge. Now he was the Pro here, I was just going to allow him to take my body to places its never been.

However, I needed to give a little. So I got up and knelt in front of him. Both of us on our knees, kissing intensely and then I worked my way down his body. It was my turn to please him now.
Slowly I licked the tip of his cock...yum. I wanted more so I took the whole thing in my mouth. Starting to swell, I decided to push him on the bed. Sucking his cock with idetermination to make that baby hard and stiff....using my hand to fondle his balls and the other to give the small part of his cock that didn't fit into my mouth a hand job. He loved it.

I love when a man moans (when it is truly a real moan). I love when a man lets you know what he likes. nothing is more pleasurable to a pleaser. I looked up to watch him watching me. A sweet smile and caring in those deep eyes. I felt like a little girl, and he was my teacher. Making him nice and hard, I worked my way back up his body "I want you inside of me" I whispered in his ear. He was more than happy to fulfill my request.

The condom is on and he is ready for entry. Yum!! this man knows how to pump and reach that special G spot inside. I could feel my body start to reach an orgasmic state. This man knew how to get me to the point of no return. Wanting to cum at the same time, I held out until he was ready....thrusting faster and faster...I could see in his face that he was ready...and we both came at the same time. Both of us letting out a cry...Yum. Exhausted we collapsed.

Now what is nice about having someone you can relate to is that now we just laid there and talked. Talked about what just happened (feeling comfortable enough to have an open and candid conversation). Talked about the day..he just held me in his arms as I played gently with his cock....kind of just a loving touch.

A little break...a little talk and now it was time for the next session....

The Perfect Cock Soup ..how Yummy!!

So how amazing would it be if you could actually go to the store and purchase a COCK!?!? Yup! Kinda of like a soup mix that has the perfect ingredients. Just like soup, you can make it exactly to your tasting...

Hmmm....so this had me thinking. I love to cook..so if I could whip up a dish of perfect COCK what would it be??

1. 1. Length-- Hmm....length is important. 4 inches isn't going to give you much to work with there. I would love a 6-7 inch sausage in size....

2. Thickness...much more important to me. A thick shaft that you can truly FEEL as it enters is my preference. One that even with all the juices flowing you can still feel the shaft inside of you. One that when it starts to enter, you can feel your walls expanding. Yup, thickness is really good. (A thick Cock Soup!!--like Split Pea or Lobster Bisque)

3.Head-I love a nice size head that is thicker than the shaft---aah! Now I LOVE when there is a rim....like a little mushroom hat...that extra rim gives some little extra sensations as it thrusts in and out (definitely mushrooms in my cock soup).

4.But mostly, constant movement. No matter how thick and long...if it ain't got the right motion in the ocean...it ain't worth much. I guess that's why you constantly would have to stir like a soup!! Keep the juices flowing, keep it simmering hot!!

Cream of Mushroom Soup...hmmmm......can't forget the cream. I love when it projects at great distances.....as if you left the pot cover on and turned the temperature all the way up....that baby would start to explode with energy and burst the cover off and all the fluids come dripping over the side....

Aahh!! Now that is some damn Cock Soup!

Oh yes, the anticipation of Mr. Construction Guy is killing me. Today, we didn't talk because yesterday it was overload (we were texting back and forth over 40 times--it was even too much for me so you know I'm worried if we're okay--gonna wait to hear from him). I was way to hot and bothered all day. I hate walking around with my insides pulsating and feeling like I am so wet. Always worried some dog will start going wild smelling my juices flowing.

I am much, much calmer today. Oh! I got an interesting email today, To join some audio sex site that seems pretty legitimate. Actually, not sleazy but filled with great audio information on sex. The woman liked my podcast and asked me to join. I haven't done a podcast in sooooo long and I really miss it. It just takes so much production and research...yeah, if you haven't heard my podcast..I really do give great information on sex.... And I crack up that guys think my voice is sexy...I wonder sometimes if they are listening to the content or just my explaining how to do a great blow job or erotic talk...doesn't matter. I like the idea that some man is getting a hard on from listening to my voice. I'll keep you updated if I decide to tie in with them. If you haven't listened to my podcast---hey what are you waiting for!!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/RendezvousRadio

or you can go to ITunes and load it down from there.. Do a search on podcasts for Rendezvous Radio and it will show up!

Have a great weekend..... and I bet you will never be able to eat a cream based soup just the same again!! With each slurp....think of me!! lol

And of course, my baby Hale McKay inspires me with the great pix he sends me. Thanks baby!!

So I went to the new beta blogger....will take time to get some of my stuff up on the side but I'm beginning to get used to it. Got rid of that pink background so I hope it is easier to read. Can't skip lines....kind of annoying though...