I've been cruising Ashley Madison and met a few men this past week. It's like taking a bite of the forbidden apple, discover you love apples and then you go apple picking. In the fields with thousands and thousands of apples. So many different types, Granny, MacIntosh, Red Delicious...and each one looks better than the next. At the orchard, you eat and eat....grabbing for the highest apples, climbing the trees, picking the ones that look the most appealing.....Yes, you bring home bushels and bushels! So have I now reached the point where I am home after three weeks....I have made every recipe possible, have eaten apples till I was sick and am now up to apple sauce before the apples go bad....(he.he.he)
I'm not at the three week point (just remembered my last trip to the orchard and all the damn apples I had to deal with). But I have to say that I am at the point where I have finished picking my apples for right now. Maybe I have so much work that the hunt is not as exciting or desireous or maybe I am content with the apples in my basket.
DigEm emotionally fulfills me. I mean the man sends me an email to say I just snuck away to wish my pea a great day and to tell her I am thinking about her. How sweet. He is so damn attentive.....I am emotionally complete from him. He makes me insides smile. Looking at a pix of him last night, it made me melt. His eyes are sparkling, his smile so intense. He really makes me so damn happy. However, physically, we are so far apart its tough.
Mystery Man.....physically he is an amazing lover. I mean my body has never reacted to someone like it reacts to him. Orgasm after orgasm. He is getting better with opening up a little. We are getting to know each other in some ways. But I wish he would trust me. His disappearance act gets me a little insecure after I don't hear from him a couple of days. He swore he wouldn't do it again but I can feel that emptiness beginning when I don't hear from him. Is it over? crosses my mind again. Last night, I was thinking how I hadn't heard from him since our last rendezvous. I was starting to get that insecurity. I gave him one day in my head and then I had no choice, I would have to move on. 20 minutes later....he emailed me. He must have felt the vibe.
So I met a guy on Ashley. I actually said to him that I wasn't interested right now and that I would keep his profile for the future. The guy has been pursuing me like crazy. Let 's meet, you are gorgeous, I have to meet you. Honestly, I don't want to right now. MySpace Business Guy and I email daily. However, I think he's into the chat. Ever find someone like that? They seem to prefer the online relationship instead of the real mccoy. He wants to meet this week. I told him we have to start again....the momentum was lost. We'll see what he says. And MySpace Attorney guy, also, the momentum seems to have been lost although he says he really wants to take me to lunch this week. I think its me at this point. honestly, I am happy with DigEm and Mystery Man. The two are perfect for me.
Things at home are not better at all. I am taking a big step this week. I am calling to get a consult from a divorce attorney. I need to know where I stand, how much it is going to cost and figure out how I am going to make it alone with the kids. He will be a dead beat dad for the most part. The mortgage was due. I saw his final check came in from expenses. I needed it to meet the mortgage. He's been using it on food. you might say well you need to eat. Except he likes to go to the supermarket and spend $100 about 3 times a week. And also then eat out fast food. So he spent almost all the money. the man doesn't know how to budget.
The truth is....I am feeling content these days. I am feeling independent and good about me. He is my downfall. He is the reason why I am miserable at times. My career is going well, I'm happy with me and when I come home---its constant fighting and brutal. I am beginning to think that its healthier for the kids to see a happy mom, an optimistic mom, the person I am inside. The passion I have that I so badly want to share. Instead they get the stressed mom who is frustrated with her jobless husband. I want them to know love...they aren't seeing it in this environment. I want the house to be fun and happy....its been filled of anger. The scales are tipping....yet I know my black and white husband. When I ask for a divorce, its going to get ugly around here. Really ugly. He's going to take it out on the kids. That's why, I have to move quickly when I do move. All my ducks in a row....I know he's going to break my kids hearts. I have to figure out how to lessen the blow.
Okay, I am tired...just got home from my after hours job. I have 4 clients I think now and then I have this late night job helping a friend as a hostess. I need to get on my feet.....I need to be independent. I need to fulfill me (and take care of my kids).
Okay, bedtime......I am babbling...thanks for listening.....you are my diary, you are my friends.....Thank You!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
A Trip To The CarWash...YUM!!
My girlfriend just sent me this....I was laughing so hard. She loves to hear about my men....oh I have three friends who know about my blog BUT they can't read it. You see, I would never say cock..or describe my sex life to them in such details. They read it once and said they were blushing!!
"As I saw this, I realized that I fantasize about it but my good friend lives it....ENJOY!! "
SORRY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED FOR A WHILE, MY CAR NEEDED WASHING AGAIN. I WENT TO THE CAR WASH DOWNTOWN AND I HAD TO HAVE THEM REWASH THE CAR 3 TIMES ... THEY KEPT MISSING SPOTS ... SO IF YOU DON'T HEAR FROM ME FOR A WEEK OR SO YOU'LL KNOW WHERE I'M AT ...
LOVE,
Off to the car wash again !!
"As I saw this, I realized that I fantasize about it but my good friend lives it....ENJOY!! "
SORRY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED FOR A WHILE, MY CAR NEEDED WASHING AGAIN. I WENT TO THE CAR WASH DOWNTOWN AND I HAD TO HAVE THEM REWASH THE CAR 3 TIMES ... THEY KEPT MISSING SPOTS ... SO IF YOU DON'T HEAR FROM ME FOR A WEEK OR SO YOU'LL KNOW WHERE I'M AT ...
LOVE,
Off to the car wash again !!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Joining Two Frogs Into One Married Prince Charming
Is it possible to join two men to produce one perfect one? This is the closest I have ever gotten to a true Married Prince Charming. DigEm is my emotional base. He understands me, he relates to me, we are never at a loss of words. I am attracted to him but the distance has caused so many issues. Realistically, if he was closer, he would be dangerous. I think he is the closest I have come to Married Prince Charming.
Then there is Mystery Man. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! just when I think I have orgasmed more than I could orgasm....he takes me to new heights. I rarily cum when I have sex...I have orgasms when I masturbate or a guy fingers me and my clit. What I thought were orgasms, I have now found out are little orgasms.
Mystery Man knows my body. He knows just how to make me respond...he is so wild. Today, he was playing with me.....I don't know what he was doing with his fingers inside of me but he hit my Gspot....the feeling of euphoria was something I have never experienced. Just as I was going to orgasm, like I have never before, he stopped. Oh no baby, I want to feel that orgasm......my body was yearning for it now. I was just there, just about to cum and he stopped. How did he know? It was wild.
Well, I came so hard.....there were moans. And then another time...there were screams. I have never screamed...today I did. My whole body was shaking and my head in the clouds. I can't even explain it. Each position, he penetrates me deeper. That's my reward for sucking his cock so well. He says my mouth is a gift...oral fixations rule! LOL
What's different this time around with us. We lie there. we hold each other, we say sweet and caring things. Our bodies entwined...half asleep, giggling, talking, we feel comfortable with each other now....we enjoy each other every inch of each other. Today, for the first time, we both dozed off in each others arms. It was so serene. He will reach over and trace my lips and my nose....you are gorgeous he says with a smile. mmmmmm......he makes me feel gorgeous.
I am also a pain in the ass with him. It bothers me that he doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust anyone he says. When he went in the bathroom last week, I had gotten up to get my water and he ran back into the room. He thought I was going to look in his wallet. I was hurt a little. BUT, the rest of the day when he got up, I would start making noises on the bed, When he would come out--I would start giggling.
Today, I did the same thing.....Trust me..I said to him. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? No, he said. So try to trust me. He can't trust. i don't know what it is....
Listen, I told him. I have your number, I have your license plate...trust me, if I wanted it that bad, I could track you down. I could open your wallet a million times...but I wouldn't. I want you to tell me who you are.....not detective work. Let's face it,I was able to track down where Mr. Government lived.....Mystery Man would be a piece of cake. But I don't want to.
I can't even keep my eyes open right now.....I am sooo relaxed. I told him that after our meeting, I sleep like a baby. He said he does too.....we are so in synch.
Sweet Dreams
Then there is Mystery Man. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! just when I think I have orgasmed more than I could orgasm....he takes me to new heights. I rarily cum when I have sex...I have orgasms when I masturbate or a guy fingers me and my clit. What I thought were orgasms, I have now found out are little orgasms.
Mystery Man knows my body. He knows just how to make me respond...he is so wild. Today, he was playing with me.....I don't know what he was doing with his fingers inside of me but he hit my Gspot....the feeling of euphoria was something I have never experienced. Just as I was going to orgasm, like I have never before, he stopped. Oh no baby, I want to feel that orgasm......my body was yearning for it now. I was just there, just about to cum and he stopped. How did he know? It was wild.
Well, I came so hard.....there were moans. And then another time...there were screams. I have never screamed...today I did. My whole body was shaking and my head in the clouds. I can't even explain it. Each position, he penetrates me deeper. That's my reward for sucking his cock so well. He says my mouth is a gift...oral fixations rule! LOL
What's different this time around with us. We lie there. we hold each other, we say sweet and caring things. Our bodies entwined...half asleep, giggling, talking, we feel comfortable with each other now....we enjoy each other every inch of each other. Today, for the first time, we both dozed off in each others arms. It was so serene. He will reach over and trace my lips and my nose....you are gorgeous he says with a smile. mmmmmm......he makes me feel gorgeous.
I am also a pain in the ass with him. It bothers me that he doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust anyone he says. When he went in the bathroom last week, I had gotten up to get my water and he ran back into the room. He thought I was going to look in his wallet. I was hurt a little. BUT, the rest of the day when he got up, I would start making noises on the bed, When he would come out--I would start giggling.
Today, I did the same thing.....Trust me..I said to him. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? No, he said. So try to trust me. He can't trust. i don't know what it is....
Listen, I told him. I have your number, I have your license plate...trust me, if I wanted it that bad, I could track you down. I could open your wallet a million times...but I wouldn't. I want you to tell me who you are.....not detective work. Let's face it,I was able to track down where Mr. Government lived.....Mystery Man would be a piece of cake. But I don't want to.
I can't even keep my eyes open right now.....I am sooo relaxed. I told him that after our meeting, I sleep like a baby. He said he does too.....we are so in synch.
Sweet Dreams
Another Trip To Paradise Scheduled...WooHoo
Work is insane. I actually didn't even sleep last night. I am trying to work on three huge projects at once.
It feels like a long time since I saw Mystery Man. But it was only Friday. The days are seeming endless lately, probably because I am working so hard. Quite frankly, I am frazzled but I am loving it. There is potential for all this to be huge. I mean it kind of is already.....I closed the deals, now I have to prove myself. That is working me to the bone.
Hubby, I can't even discuss. He sleeps late and then goes on the computer to look for a job. So why can't he hustle like me? Why can't he find something and also look for something better. I am disgusted with him quite frankly. As a parent, how do you not feel you need to support your family. I have to tell you...I am actually working 4 nights a week doing hostessing for a friend at her restaurant. It's cash, I get to do my computer work while I am doing it and I am not too proud. Money is money....its been helping put the food on the table so I can put my regular paycheck toward the mortgage.
Last night, I was on the computer and Mystery Man sends me a note. It was quite provcative and it makes me want him. My body wants to escape from this craziness...I need to re-fuel. At the end of his note....how about tomorrow...I need to see you too. I can't get you out of my head. My cock has been continually hard all weekend thinking of our escape on Friday. Meet me, start re-arranging your schedule!
Well, I re-arranged my schedule for today. So I am going to have that Paradise my body so desperately wants.....he is a stress reliever and today, I am going to relieve some major stress. Blindfolds, vibrator, scarves for tying up and a little chocolate syrup...Oops, don't forget the ice cubes...he loves when I eat ice cubes and then suck his cock.....
I love these special lunch breaks.....I am soooo productive after!
It feels like a long time since I saw Mystery Man. But it was only Friday. The days are seeming endless lately, probably because I am working so hard. Quite frankly, I am frazzled but I am loving it. There is potential for all this to be huge. I mean it kind of is already.....I closed the deals, now I have to prove myself. That is working me to the bone.
Hubby, I can't even discuss. He sleeps late and then goes on the computer to look for a job. So why can't he hustle like me? Why can't he find something and also look for something better. I am disgusted with him quite frankly. As a parent, how do you not feel you need to support your family. I have to tell you...I am actually working 4 nights a week doing hostessing for a friend at her restaurant. It's cash, I get to do my computer work while I am doing it and I am not too proud. Money is money....its been helping put the food on the table so I can put my regular paycheck toward the mortgage.
Last night, I was on the computer and Mystery Man sends me a note. It was quite provcative and it makes me want him. My body wants to escape from this craziness...I need to re-fuel. At the end of his note....how about tomorrow...I need to see you too. I can't get you out of my head. My cock has been continually hard all weekend thinking of our escape on Friday. Meet me, start re-arranging your schedule!
Well, I re-arranged my schedule for today. So I am going to have that Paradise my body so desperately wants.....he is a stress reliever and today, I am going to relieve some major stress. Blindfolds, vibrator, scarves for tying up and a little chocolate syrup...Oops, don't forget the ice cubes...he loves when I eat ice cubes and then suck his cock.....
I love these special lunch breaks.....I am soooo productive after!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Horny With No Relief
I think there is a hole in my gas tank!
For those of you who know me, you know I LOVE to have FUN! To me FUN is the spice of life. Mystery Man also has a warped sense of humor. Our big joke is that we re-fuel each other.....he fills me sexually, emotionally and like a car gas tank, I need paradise to keep running. Today, I am so damn horny. I don't know why...so I sent him this email:
I HAVE A PROBLEM....
I THINK MY GAS TANK HAS A HOLE IN IT!
I am suppose to be home alone working today but I am sooooo horny....I keep having flashbacks of your cock and balls slapping into my ass...going so deep inside of me....mmmmmm.....and then me enjoying sucking every inch of your cock......I am dripping today....
I even had to go upstairs and play with myself. Do your ears ring when I play with myself and I orgasm as I am thinking about us together?
Oh my, what should I do? Can you help me with this problem I am having? I must have a gas guzzler here....horrible miles per gallon!! LOL
For those of you who know me, you know I LOVE to have FUN! To me FUN is the spice of life. Mystery Man also has a warped sense of humor. Our big joke is that we re-fuel each other.....he fills me sexually, emotionally and like a car gas tank, I need paradise to keep running. Today, I am so damn horny. I don't know why...so I sent him this email:
I HAVE A PROBLEM....
I THINK MY GAS TANK HAS A HOLE IN IT!
I am suppose to be home alone working today but I am sooooo horny....I keep having flashbacks of your cock and balls slapping into my ass...going so deep inside of me....mmmmmm.....and then me enjoying sucking every inch of your cock......I am dripping today....
I even had to go upstairs and play with myself. Do your ears ring when I play with myself and I orgasm as I am thinking about us together?
Oh my, what should I do? Can you help me with this problem I am having? I must have a gas guzzler here....horrible miles per gallon!! LOL
Friday, September 21, 2007
Today's Mystery Man Rendezvous
DigEm and I spoke. Quite frankly, he doesn't see where I am coming from. He says he was more thinking about work not the girl. He also was thinking how limited his time is due to work. I don't think he meant to hurt me. He apologized over and over again. I can't explain it. We are really close friends. I was hurt more of by our friendship than anything else.
Even our fights are too hysterical. I was talking about lists and he is on the top of my frog list and he's even on my friend list. (basically he said, throw the lists out). Then he said that he's tired of looking and that he is thinking about giving the whole life up. My heart sank a little. What about me, I said. We are totally done then? "No, you are grandfathered in". Okay, I was laughing so damn hard. I care about him so much. He makes me so happy, we connect so well. But I need to put my walls up a little more than they were.
So today, I needed to get away. It was such a pressure cooker of a week. The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.....such a rollercoaster ride. So, I met with Mystery Man. Mmmmmmm........all I can say is WOW!!! Sex is amazing. Truly amazing. So fucking hot!! I have connected with men before but not like this. I mean it. Orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. His kisses turn me on, the way he licks my earlobe, the way he kisses me neck, the way he kisses my whole body...he is an amazing lover.
Our rendezvous' are very different now. they used to be just wild, hot sex. Positions after positions...us ravaging each other. Lately, they have been really hot, intense and deep. We appreciate each other, we make love now. No, we aren't in love but is there another term to explain it? It is sometimes total exploring, connecting, slow and deep, trying to be in tune with what turns the other person on. Gotta tell ya, we are damn good together. I don't think I have ever had so many damn orgasms.
Today, we went to a new rendezvous place.....a place called something like Adios Motel. So I said, are ya saying good by to me? What a perfect place to have your last fuck with someone.
A subliminal message.
And I found we spend a lot of time holding each other now, massaging each other, spooning each other and talking....he won't open up that much about his life. yet, we sit and we talk. I have now opened up about mine. I told him I don't want to be a mystery anymore. So I tell him about my projects and we talk about them. He's really stressed....I am worried about him. Not everyday stress, like really bad stress. Please relax with me...I tell him. Trust me a little. He admitted he has trust issues. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? He admitted that I haven't, that I am open and sincere.
So we spoon and hold each other.....we giggle away lately inbetween rounds and even at times during sex. It's really nice. I found out his birthday today. And what is my favorite thing? Hard to say. I love when he fucks me from behind....when he bends me over the bed. I love when he spoons me and he enters me slowly from behind and we lie there with him inside of me, I love when he puts my legs over my head or I open them in a V and he enter me that way....
But probably what turns me on the most....is knowing how he is so turned on by me. After two rounds of sex, his cock will look like it has had enough. He came twice already and its been two hours. We are not young, many times a guy has a hard time getting it up stiff again. But no matter how many times we fuck, as I put my mouth around his cock and lick it like he likes to be licked and sucked...his cock comes to full attention! He will moan a little and say....oh fuck I love your lips, your mouth......I guess its a control in a way. I love that he is so responsive to me..no matter when.
Today, he held me in his arms, he looked into my eyes and we both smiled. He gave me this long tight hug and gently kissed me. You are so amazing....and we just lied there. Now, talk about balance and serenity...wow.
And on the other side...I can be an obnoxious pain in the ass. I know some little things that bother him (like when he just cums, he doesn't like me touching his dick...it needs a few minutes of rest). so I will brush by it on purpose.... he will shoot me a look at say....you are a pain in the ass....its funny. Today out of no where we were in a hot moment and out of no where I started a pillow fight as he was inside of me...yes, we are having a pillow fight as we are fucking...
So, I am in paradise right now....tonight, he sent me the Eddie Money song...Two Tickets To Paradise.......with a little note...... You Are Fucking Awesome! I love our escapes to paradise....xoxox
Damn, I am feeling so amazing right now. The stress is gone, at least till the morning.
Sweet Dreams !!!
Even our fights are too hysterical. I was talking about lists and he is on the top of my frog list and he's even on my friend list. (basically he said, throw the lists out). Then he said that he's tired of looking and that he is thinking about giving the whole life up. My heart sank a little. What about me, I said. We are totally done then? "No, you are grandfathered in". Okay, I was laughing so damn hard. I care about him so much. He makes me so happy, we connect so well. But I need to put my walls up a little more than they were.
So today, I needed to get away. It was such a pressure cooker of a week. The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.....such a rollercoaster ride. So, I met with Mystery Man. Mmmmmmm........all I can say is WOW!!! Sex is amazing. Truly amazing. So fucking hot!! I have connected with men before but not like this. I mean it. Orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. His kisses turn me on, the way he licks my earlobe, the way he kisses me neck, the way he kisses my whole body...he is an amazing lover.
Our rendezvous' are very different now. they used to be just wild, hot sex. Positions after positions...us ravaging each other. Lately, they have been really hot, intense and deep. We appreciate each other, we make love now. No, we aren't in love but is there another term to explain it? It is sometimes total exploring, connecting, slow and deep, trying to be in tune with what turns the other person on. Gotta tell ya, we are damn good together. I don't think I have ever had so many damn orgasms.
Today, we went to a new rendezvous place.....a place called something like Adios Motel. So I said, are ya saying good by to me? What a perfect place to have your last fuck with someone.
A subliminal message.
And I found we spend a lot of time holding each other now, massaging each other, spooning each other and talking....he won't open up that much about his life. yet, we sit and we talk. I have now opened up about mine. I told him I don't want to be a mystery anymore. So I tell him about my projects and we talk about them. He's really stressed....I am worried about him. Not everyday stress, like really bad stress. Please relax with me...I tell him. Trust me a little. He admitted he has trust issues. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? He admitted that I haven't, that I am open and sincere.
So we spoon and hold each other.....we giggle away lately inbetween rounds and even at times during sex. It's really nice. I found out his birthday today. And what is my favorite thing? Hard to say. I love when he fucks me from behind....when he bends me over the bed. I love when he spoons me and he enters me slowly from behind and we lie there with him inside of me, I love when he puts my legs over my head or I open them in a V and he enter me that way....
But probably what turns me on the most....is knowing how he is so turned on by me. After two rounds of sex, his cock will look like it has had enough. He came twice already and its been two hours. We are not young, many times a guy has a hard time getting it up stiff again. But no matter how many times we fuck, as I put my mouth around his cock and lick it like he likes to be licked and sucked...his cock comes to full attention! He will moan a little and say....oh fuck I love your lips, your mouth......I guess its a control in a way. I love that he is so responsive to me..no matter when.
Today, he held me in his arms, he looked into my eyes and we both smiled. He gave me this long tight hug and gently kissed me. You are so amazing....and we just lied there. Now, talk about balance and serenity...wow.
And on the other side...I can be an obnoxious pain in the ass. I know some little things that bother him (like when he just cums, he doesn't like me touching his dick...it needs a few minutes of rest). so I will brush by it on purpose.... he will shoot me a look at say....you are a pain in the ass....its funny. Today out of no where we were in a hot moment and out of no where I started a pillow fight as he was inside of me...yes, we are having a pillow fight as we are fucking...
So, I am in paradise right now....tonight, he sent me the Eddie Money song...Two Tickets To Paradise.......with a little note...... You Are Fucking Awesome! I love our escapes to paradise....xoxox
Damn, I am feeling so amazing right now. The stress is gone, at least till the morning.
Sweet Dreams !!!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
An Anger Rant
Now this is an entry filled with anger and rage. This is a note that I am sure I will feel differently (hopefully) in two hours but for right now I am filled with such anger that I need to throw it someone....and its here, on my blog.
DigEm and I are far from each other. But we talk a million times a day. we have a connection, he fills my emotional void....he makes me happy. Distance is a problem. Next week, I decided I was going to go there. I literally spent $500 on my car yesterday to make sure my new tires, oil change, tune up blah, blah, blah...I couldn't chance getting stuck in another state.
So, I wrote him and said I am going to come next week. Definitely carve out a day for me. That I can't wait to see him.
This morning...I got a note back. The last few days, he had some correspondences with some girls on Ashley Madison and he might be meeting one of them for lunch next week so he has to think about me coming to him.
Oh really?!? Excuse me. you never even met a woman before....all our hours and hours of talks and emails...the pea in the pod (all yesterday in fact). And you talk to a woman online and never even met her and she takes presidence over me?!?!?!!
Oh man, not in my book baby. What side of the bed did you wake up on this morning? Serves me right.....I knew this was coming. I allowed this man into my heart. I allowed him into my soul. Emotionally, I allowed him in. I knew it was a mistake but I did it anyway.
What a fool I am. I didn't see this one coming. He was so sincere, we spoke about everything, we both had that passion. Did I want him to find someone? Yes. Because I am too far and I have my share. BUT, I always made him feel (because he was so special) like he was #1. And he was (Mystery Man was close there...but emotionally we kept our distance).
So now I fall behind a woman that he never met before? FUCK THAT!! Go DigEm, you need to look around and see what is out there. But your priorities are fucked up. I'm sure there is a woman out there that will give you what you need. But the way you just handled us....is inexcusable....it was in fact disgusting.
I need to put this anger away, I have too much work to do and I need to concentrate. I am going to go for a walk....I need to clear my head. I fucking HATE FROGS!!! (okay, we all know that was drama...I adore them...but for right now...ALL FROGS SUCK....Get the Blender out...its time for some Frog Shakes!!!)
DigEm and I are far from each other. But we talk a million times a day. we have a connection, he fills my emotional void....he makes me happy. Distance is a problem. Next week, I decided I was going to go there. I literally spent $500 on my car yesterday to make sure my new tires, oil change, tune up blah, blah, blah...I couldn't chance getting stuck in another state.
So, I wrote him and said I am going to come next week. Definitely carve out a day for me. That I can't wait to see him.
This morning...I got a note back. The last few days, he had some correspondences with some girls on Ashley Madison and he might be meeting one of them for lunch next week so he has to think about me coming to him.
Oh really?!? Excuse me. you never even met a woman before....all our hours and hours of talks and emails...the pea in the pod (all yesterday in fact). And you talk to a woman online and never even met her and she takes presidence over me?!?!?!!
Oh man, not in my book baby. What side of the bed did you wake up on this morning? Serves me right.....I knew this was coming. I allowed this man into my heart. I allowed him into my soul. Emotionally, I allowed him in. I knew it was a mistake but I did it anyway.
What a fool I am. I didn't see this one coming. He was so sincere, we spoke about everything, we both had that passion. Did I want him to find someone? Yes. Because I am too far and I have my share. BUT, I always made him feel (because he was so special) like he was #1. And he was (Mystery Man was close there...but emotionally we kept our distance).
So now I fall behind a woman that he never met before? FUCK THAT!! Go DigEm, you need to look around and see what is out there. But your priorities are fucked up. I'm sure there is a woman out there that will give you what you need. But the way you just handled us....is inexcusable....it was in fact disgusting.
I need to put this anger away, I have too much work to do and I need to concentrate. I am going to go for a walk....I need to clear my head. I fucking HATE FROGS!!! (okay, we all know that was drama...I adore them...but for right now...ALL FROGS SUCK....Get the Blender out...its time for some Frog Shakes!!!)
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Feeling Really Great
The world is still tumbling around me....nothing has been fixed in the house but the future is beginning to look bright. It's amazing how the past two nights I have been in the presence of some real movers and shakers in my area. From a professional standpoint, these two nights have been amazing for my career.
Amazing how a person can have such different lives. Be two different people..well basically three different people. The woman who adores her children and can have such a terrible marriage. Oh, we are getting along right now. Why? Because he is leaving me alone and I am too busy and tired to fight with him. My friends are worried about me. Watching me work from 7AM-12midnight/7 days a week. Quite frankly, I am hustling...I am either going to be a huge success or a huge failure right now....not sure which.
On the frog front. I have to say....having a few good men behind me has made me much stronger. Having people who believe in me (and are in my corner) has given me the strength I need to hustle. I know, it may sound crazy but my inner soul is filled right now. I am at peace (as strange as that sounds). I find when I am happy with some frogs....I am much more productive work wise.
MySpace Attorney called me today...just to say hi. To see how I was doing and to congratulate me on my big deal. He said he was extremely impressed with my accomplishments. That made me feel great. We are both too busy to meet...
DigEm...he is such an important part of my success right now. He is such a supporter, he is such an amazing person. He is emotionally there for me all the time. He is my best friend right now and support. Quite honestly, if distance wasn't an issue, I know that it might even be a problem. Why? Because I can see wanting to be with him all the time. We are so much alike. No games, no walls..we are like two peas in a pod!
And Mystery Man.......things are going great. He is being a little more open. If I ask where he is traveling, he tells me now. I email, he emails back the nicest things. Tonight he said he needs to see me. He misses me and wants to hold me again in his arms. I want that too but quite frankly, work comes first and I don't know if I can sneak away for 3 hours. Maybe a lunch...but that's all I got. He's been a gem...knowing that I need a little more and delivering it. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder......and he said he missed me and appreciates me even more. All I asked him was that he doesn't disappear again like he did. Promise me I said. He promised me but I still haven't thrown my heart into it again. I healed and I am afraid of getting hurt again.
Okay, gotta do some work and I am off to bed.....is that the light I see at the end of the tunnel? Its a little light....please lets hope this is a turning point in my life. I like the way I feel right now.
Amazing how a person can have such different lives. Be two different people..well basically three different people. The woman who adores her children and can have such a terrible marriage. Oh, we are getting along right now. Why? Because he is leaving me alone and I am too busy and tired to fight with him. My friends are worried about me. Watching me work from 7AM-12midnight/7 days a week. Quite frankly, I am hustling...I am either going to be a huge success or a huge failure right now....not sure which.
On the frog front. I have to say....having a few good men behind me has made me much stronger. Having people who believe in me (and are in my corner) has given me the strength I need to hustle. I know, it may sound crazy but my inner soul is filled right now. I am at peace (as strange as that sounds). I find when I am happy with some frogs....I am much more productive work wise.
MySpace Attorney called me today...just to say hi. To see how I was doing and to congratulate me on my big deal. He said he was extremely impressed with my accomplishments. That made me feel great. We are both too busy to meet...
DigEm...he is such an important part of my success right now. He is such a supporter, he is such an amazing person. He is emotionally there for me all the time. He is my best friend right now and support. Quite honestly, if distance wasn't an issue, I know that it might even be a problem. Why? Because I can see wanting to be with him all the time. We are so much alike. No games, no walls..we are like two peas in a pod!
And Mystery Man.......things are going great. He is being a little more open. If I ask where he is traveling, he tells me now. I email, he emails back the nicest things. Tonight he said he needs to see me. He misses me and wants to hold me again in his arms. I want that too but quite frankly, work comes first and I don't know if I can sneak away for 3 hours. Maybe a lunch...but that's all I got. He's been a gem...knowing that I need a little more and delivering it. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder......and he said he missed me and appreciates me even more. All I asked him was that he doesn't disappear again like he did. Promise me I said. He promised me but I still haven't thrown my heart into it again. I healed and I am afraid of getting hurt again.
Okay, gotta do some work and I am off to bed.....is that the light I see at the end of the tunnel? Its a little light....please lets hope this is a turning point in my life. I like the way I feel right now.
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Light Is Looking A Little Brighter
Yes, today was a great day. I hope my luck continues like this. I landed two new clients today. That was huge and such a relief. If everything goes as planned, I will be able to keep up on the house. Amazing how my husband didn't even congratulate me. He didn't say anything negative and he was quite surprised I got what I wanted. Quite frankly, I am good at what I do. I am an excellent business woman (who just has a crappy home life). I am tough and secure in business (unlike my personal life where I am so insecure). Isn't funny how life can be...how different we can be in different parts of our lives.
I am content right now....very content. Actually, the first person I called when I landed the two clients was DigEm...."baby, I am so proud of you". That sounded so great....I can't remember the last time someone said they were proud of me and meant it like that. I just wanted to throw my arms around him. He's so good to me and knows how to make me feel good about me, about us.
And then...Mystery Man. Mystery Man is surprising me a little. When we were in bed, I said...no more Mystery Woman, Mystery Man....and I spilled my guts to him. Tonight, I came home and there was an email from him....very sweet. So I told him about my day and I wrote (too much information for ya....too BAD!!!)... He wrote back how amazing I am and that he was really happy for me that my day went as I wanted. Another great step for us...
So, I am happy, happy, happy!!! YEAH!!!
Woo Hoo!! Let's hope this is a start to good things to come!! (CUM!! LOL)
Friday, September 14, 2007
Mystery Man Discussing My Oral Fixation
I wrote a note to Mystery Man saying I think I have an oral fixation.....this is what he wrote back...it was his version of our encounter the other night...his take on my blow job! Enjoy....I get wet just visualizing it again.....what a flashback....
Anyway, the idea of laying there with you with our warm sweaty bodies entwined, nuzzling, licking, sucking, biting, and caressing sounds so delicious. BTW, I do think you are right, you must have an oral fixation (Thank god!) and I am happy to be the focus of it!!!! In fact, I can close my eyes right now and vividly picture you the other night, pushing me back on the bed as you crawled forward and kissed your way down my stomach, slowly opening your mouth, your pink tongue reaching out between your lips as your mouth moved closer and closer to my eagerly awaiting cock. I could feel your warm breath as it made contact with the head of my cock causing it to jump and stand in anticipation. As soon as your luscious lips met my pulsating cock you began to work your magic as your tongue traced circles around the tip and your lips wrapped around my shaft giving me chills as you started sucking ever so gently. Mmmmm....it felt so good as your head bobbed up and down on me, your warm saliva creating a slippery coating making it easy for your lips pass over and glide back and forth over my swollen cock and guiding me deeper down your throat, sucking on me more intensely as each moment passed. Imagine my surprise and delight as you pulled back and released me from your warm mouth only to watch you kiss your way down my shaft to the base of my cock as you began to gently nuzzle and suck on my balls. You were driving me wild as you carefully licked and sucked on each one making sure to give each one the same special loving treatment. At this point, I was aching to be back inside that moist mouth of yours, knowing that you would suck me intoto oblivion!!!! Yup, I sure do like oral fixations......
Anyway, the idea of laying there with you with our warm sweaty bodies entwined, nuzzling, licking, sucking, biting, and caressing sounds so delicious. BTW, I do think you are right, you must have an oral fixation (Thank god!) and I am happy to be the focus of it!!!! In fact, I can close my eyes right now and vividly picture you the other night, pushing me back on the bed as you crawled forward and kissed your way down my stomach, slowly opening your mouth, your pink tongue reaching out between your lips as your mouth moved closer and closer to my eagerly awaiting cock. I could feel your warm breath as it made contact with the head of my cock causing it to jump and stand in anticipation. As soon as your luscious lips met my pulsating cock you began to work your magic as your tongue traced circles around the tip and your lips wrapped around my shaft giving me chills as you started sucking ever so gently. Mmmmm....it felt so good as your head bobbed up and down on me, your warm saliva creating a slippery coating making it easy for your lips pass over and glide back and forth over my swollen cock and guiding me deeper down your throat, sucking on me more intensely as each moment passed. Imagine my surprise and delight as you pulled back and released me from your warm mouth only to watch you kiss your way down my shaft to the base of my cock as you began to gently nuzzle and suck on my balls. You were driving me wild as you carefully licked and sucked on each one making sure to give each one the same special loving treatment. At this point, I was aching to be back inside that moist mouth of yours, knowing that you would suck me intoto oblivion!!!! Yup, I sure do like oral fixations......
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Mystery Man Re-Appears
Well I can mark off another thing I always wanted to do....have sex with two different men within 24 hours....
I met Mystery Man tonight.....it was amazing. It was different...he was different. The problem was major pressure at work and a sick family member. Actually, I think that he might have really thought he was losing it. He doesn't want to share details but something was different about him. I pried a little out of him. I didn't want to dwell on it but he started to laugh and said "oh please, I knew I was going to be interrogated....I am impressed you are being so well behaved". I was trying....I giggled, he knew me well. So I said..no more mysteries...I told him everything about me....he said nothing but looked into my eyes and smiled and kissed me.
Tonight was magical. I thought it was going to be wild and crazy...us attacking each other. Instead, it was slow, intense, we couldn't stop holding each other and kissing each other. And feeling each others bodies. It was as if we dreamed about this day and we just wanted to feel each other inch by inch.
The sex.....wow! He knows how to make love to me, to fuck me, to please me. He ate me out until my legs were shaking. It was slow and sensual, it was hot and desireous. I can't explain it. It was as if we couldn't separate....it was pure paradise.
We lied there in each others arms. We held each other, we massaged each other....we kissed, we smiled and hugged. And of course, we made intense sweet love....we also fucked too....but it was more sweet than animalistic....wow, that's all I can say.
We went into the shower together and we kissed some more and played a little. I was thinking as I watched him lather up....how sad it is that we will soon be driving away. He looked at me..I didn't realize my expression....."please dont pout baby". And he held me more.
As we were leaving. I started to freak internally. I didn't want to but reality was seeping through. Last time he walked out that door, I thought it was over and I didn't see him for months. He held me and we kissed....he looked at me and said..."I promise it wasn't you, it was me. I also promise that I won't hurt you again. I said a little bit. I knew I was coming back to you."
My eyes started to fill with some tears. "promise me that you will never send me a fucking email again to say good by. Promise that we will have one last fling and then part." I Promise he said. What's your last name? I asked. Smith! I was pissed now. I moped. He knew it. I felt bad....but I don't want no more mystery man. He does things to me that very few men can do.....we are definitely in synch with our bodies.
We walked out together, I waved goodby and a sadness fell over me. I wanted him more. I wanted him again and again and again. We are good together.
There was a little problem....the rubber broke. Oh yes, not a great thing....we both were a little flipped. But I said to him...okay, the good news....we both know we don't want children. He just looked at me and smiled. I guess I will be calling the doctor tomorrow.....
But except for that little incident.....It was perfect. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but tonight was PARADISE!
I met Mystery Man tonight.....it was amazing. It was different...he was different. The problem was major pressure at work and a sick family member. Actually, I think that he might have really thought he was losing it. He doesn't want to share details but something was different about him. I pried a little out of him. I didn't want to dwell on it but he started to laugh and said "oh please, I knew I was going to be interrogated....I am impressed you are being so well behaved". I was trying....I giggled, he knew me well. So I said..no more mysteries...I told him everything about me....he said nothing but looked into my eyes and smiled and kissed me.
Tonight was magical. I thought it was going to be wild and crazy...us attacking each other. Instead, it was slow, intense, we couldn't stop holding each other and kissing each other. And feeling each others bodies. It was as if we dreamed about this day and we just wanted to feel each other inch by inch.
The sex.....wow! He knows how to make love to me, to fuck me, to please me. He ate me out until my legs were shaking. It was slow and sensual, it was hot and desireous. I can't explain it. It was as if we couldn't separate....it was pure paradise.
We lied there in each others arms. We held each other, we massaged each other....we kissed, we smiled and hugged. And of course, we made intense sweet love....we also fucked too....but it was more sweet than animalistic....wow, that's all I can say.
We went into the shower together and we kissed some more and played a little. I was thinking as I watched him lather up....how sad it is that we will soon be driving away. He looked at me..I didn't realize my expression....."please dont pout baby". And he held me more.
As we were leaving. I started to freak internally. I didn't want to but reality was seeping through. Last time he walked out that door, I thought it was over and I didn't see him for months. He held me and we kissed....he looked at me and said..."I promise it wasn't you, it was me. I also promise that I won't hurt you again. I said a little bit. I knew I was coming back to you."
My eyes started to fill with some tears. "promise me that you will never send me a fucking email again to say good by. Promise that we will have one last fling and then part." I Promise he said. What's your last name? I asked. Smith! I was pissed now. I moped. He knew it. I felt bad....but I don't want no more mystery man. He does things to me that very few men can do.....we are definitely in synch with our bodies.
We walked out together, I waved goodby and a sadness fell over me. I wanted him more. I wanted him again and again and again. We are good together.
There was a little problem....the rubber broke. Oh yes, not a great thing....we both were a little flipped. But I said to him...okay, the good news....we both know we don't want children. He just looked at me and smiled. I guess I will be calling the doctor tomorrow.....
But except for that little incident.....It was perfect. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but tonight was PARADISE!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Raining Frogs!
Geez...I don't know what happened. I was cruising with no frogs...just my baby DigEm, and I was happy with that. Now, I have four frog meetings for tomorrow...I don't know what happened...in my head there was only DigEm....even though we couldn't see each other...he is my soul connection.
Well, Mr. Navigator is coming to town tomorrow. If I cancel, that's it. MySpace Attorney...that will be fine...we didn't have a definite meeting planned. MySpace Businessman...well, he cancelled so many times, I don't feel obligated to commit. BUT.....Mystery Man emailed me and called me today. He wanted to meet today or tomorrow...my body is yearning for him. We spoke...I didn't want to bring the conversation down...I asked if he was okay, he said he was hanging in but needed me and missed me. Man, the guy knows the right words....
So, do I go with him or do I keep plans with Mr. Navigator and hope we can make it happen Friday. I am torn. Mystery Man makes my body react...I think its the memories that I can't get out of my head..... okay, read these email excerpts...my nipples are hard, my pussy is wet. I want him....I miss him....he is goooooood....
"Mmmmm....I do believe that you and your luscious lips can provide the salvation I need!!! I can feel my hands running through your silky blonde mane as you devour me while giving me that naughty angelic smile of yours. Oiling up your entire body and running my hands all over your body probing and lingering in the spots that make your body tingle with excitement. Listening to you moan and giggle as you get wetter and wetter every time my tongue laps at your pulsating clit and I wrap my lips around your stiffening nipples.. Is this what they mean when they say heaven on earth? But I can't do Tuesday, Wed or Thursday and Friday seems like an eternity. So that leaves Monday or Today? Can you make our fantasies cum true???"
"Forget Starbucks, your my caffeine to get my blood racing!!! In fact it's speeding so fast right this minute! It's a crime that you can't find some kind of excuse to disappear for an hour or two today. I have to be in your area in the next hour or two and I was hoping that we could make up some lost time in Paradise even if it's just for an hour. Isn't there some emergency you need to take care of??? I'm just aching to make you tingle all over!!!!"
"We need to make this happen NOW!!! I can taste and smell you and need to be deep inside you. I have my phone on waiting for your call.....don't disappoint me!!!!"
Can you believe I didn't meet him after that? I decided that I wasn't going to give up my family time for him today but boy do I want him.....
Well, Mr. Navigator is coming to town tomorrow. If I cancel, that's it. MySpace Attorney...that will be fine...we didn't have a definite meeting planned. MySpace Businessman...well, he cancelled so many times, I don't feel obligated to commit. BUT.....Mystery Man emailed me and called me today. He wanted to meet today or tomorrow...my body is yearning for him. We spoke...I didn't want to bring the conversation down...I asked if he was okay, he said he was hanging in but needed me and missed me. Man, the guy knows the right words....
So, do I go with him or do I keep plans with Mr. Navigator and hope we can make it happen Friday. I am torn. Mystery Man makes my body react...I think its the memories that I can't get out of my head..... okay, read these email excerpts...my nipples are hard, my pussy is wet. I want him....I miss him....he is goooooood....
"Mmmmm....I do believe that you and your luscious lips can provide the salvation I need!!! I can feel my hands running through your silky blonde mane as you devour me while giving me that naughty angelic smile of yours. Oiling up your entire body and running my hands all over your body probing and lingering in the spots that make your body tingle with excitement. Listening to you moan and giggle as you get wetter and wetter every time my tongue laps at your pulsating clit and I wrap my lips around your stiffening nipples.. Is this what they mean when they say heaven on earth? But I can't do Tuesday, Wed or Thursday and Friday seems like an eternity. So that leaves Monday or Today? Can you make our fantasies cum true???"
"Forget Starbucks, your my caffeine to get my blood racing!!! In fact it's speeding so fast right this minute! It's a crime that you can't find some kind of excuse to disappear for an hour or two today. I have to be in your area in the next hour or two and I was hoping that we could make up some lost time in Paradise even if it's just for an hour. Isn't there some emergency you need to take care of??? I'm just aching to make you tingle all over!!!!"
"We need to make this happen NOW!!! I can taste and smell you and need to be deep inside you. I have my phone on waiting for your call.....don't disappoint me!!!!"
Can you believe I didn't meet him after that? I decided that I wasn't going to give up my family time for him today but boy do I want him.....
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Profound Thought....
And to think, I am looking for the answer of life. I am internally struggling with the notion that I am giving up on my marriage. And I come across a BlinkYou Quote that puts it all in perspective. Probably written by a 10 year old!!!!!
I am rarily called a bitch but there are sometimes with work and my advocacy that people with think MY PASSION is my being a bitch. So this just sounded soooo perfect...
Numerous Frogs and Mystery Man
I just realized that I haven't been on Ashley Madison in a really long time. I have about 25 messages there. Quite honestly, I have a lot on my plate. I was saying how I feel like there aren't any frogs around BUT quite honestly, I realized the pond is full right now. Just they are mostly potentials--no regular frog or no frog (except for DigEm) that I am feeling those great tingles over. I guess I realized it when there were sooo many messages this morning....Navigator, Myspace Attorney, the other obnoxious MySpace Lawyer, MySpace Mafia Dude, Myspace Business Guy.......all had left me messages to say good morning!
MySpace Attorney and I did kiss yesterday. It was nice, it was slow, it was sweet. It wasn't that hot, gotta have ya kiss with the intense desire that I love. But it was nice and probably what I really needed yesterday. I like him a lot. He's a gentleman. There is certainly potential there more than any of the other other myspace dudes.
Now, Mystery Man....I think being back in contact with him has diluted everyone but DigEm. Mystery Man...sigh....I saw his email and my heart started to pulsate again. He knows how to get my body to react to him. His response to my email was I can choose Starbucks muffin or something familiar that I like to have in my mouth. My body started to yearn for him, my lips began to water.....flashbacks of our hot three hours in paradise came flooding back....geez..that man was able to make my body sing. That man was able to make me orgasm over and over again. I loved all the positions we would experiment with.....me holding onto this shelf as he entered me from behind.....my legs in the air spread open in a V....as he pumped away...and my favorite....me lying on my back flat, him entering me from behind with our fingers entwined..and as we both look up, we see our faces together in the mirror....staring into each others eyes as he lies inside of me.... I remember saying..this is what I want to remember forever and him saying me too! Both of us content, satisfied and happy.
So, I have my choice here....the muffin or something familiar. Part of me wants to be a bitch and choose the muffin. However, is that what I want? No, I want him. But this time, I would be prepared that it may be the last time. I will go into it with a different attitude. I do need closure..but I have healed. So seeing him again and if this is the last time, will it re-open the hurt or give me closure to move on?
MySpace Attorney and I did kiss yesterday. It was nice, it was slow, it was sweet. It wasn't that hot, gotta have ya kiss with the intense desire that I love. But it was nice and probably what I really needed yesterday. I like him a lot. He's a gentleman. There is certainly potential there more than any of the other other myspace dudes.
Now, Mystery Man....I think being back in contact with him has diluted everyone but DigEm. Mystery Man...sigh....I saw his email and my heart started to pulsate again. He knows how to get my body to react to him. His response to my email was I can choose Starbucks muffin or something familiar that I like to have in my mouth. My body started to yearn for him, my lips began to water.....flashbacks of our hot three hours in paradise came flooding back....geez..that man was able to make my body sing. That man was able to make me orgasm over and over again. I loved all the positions we would experiment with.....me holding onto this shelf as he entered me from behind.....my legs in the air spread open in a V....as he pumped away...and my favorite....me lying on my back flat, him entering me from behind with our fingers entwined..and as we both look up, we see our faces together in the mirror....staring into each others eyes as he lies inside of me.... I remember saying..this is what I want to remember forever and him saying me too! Both of us content, satisfied and happy.
So, I have my choice here....the muffin or something familiar. Part of me wants to be a bitch and choose the muffin. However, is that what I want? No, I want him. But this time, I would be prepared that it may be the last time. I will go into it with a different attitude. I do need closure..but I have healed. So seeing him again and if this is the last time, will it re-open the hurt or give me closure to move on?
Craziness
Yeah, Percy is right. I can't stay away from the frogs. I guess it the type of frog. Myspace attorney called me today and said..let's meet for ices. I told him I was having a horrible week, that life has really got me down and I won't be fun company today. Usually, I am cheerful...I had just been crying my eyes out.
I don't care if you have no makeup on and your eyes are puffy. I have great ears...come on...so I went. Looking crappy....eyes puffy and not a stitch of makeup...he looked at me and said "you are so sexy with no makeup, you are a natural beauty". Wasn't that sweet. So we sat and talked and it was soooo nice. We ate ices and he asked me what happened. And I spilled my guts (which I hate to give baggage but mine was so intense this week). I asked him for a great divorce attorney and he gave me a name. He said id he was thinking divorce this lawyer is the one. I trust him on that. He's a very successul lawyer and straight forward.
I get home...smiling...and there is an email from Mystery Man....my heart starts racing.....I wrote yesterday that I needed closure...can we meet at the STarbucks we first met at....I just wanted to hug him and say good by. I said I would be a really good girl and innocent like I always am...Starbucks only.
He wrote back.... Hmmmmmm.....
I wrote back.... Pleeeaaasssee (she says with her pouty lips, innocent green eyes)
He wrote back...Can you say that with your mouth full?
I started to drip......the thought a one last fling with him, makes me hot and so wet. A good by paradise.....will it happen, I don't know. He could be flirting but its amazing what seeing his email did to me again.
Horniness...quite frankly I am too tired. Working so manyy jobs I have lost track. I am so run down and I look it. I have to work tomorrow during the day and at night....I miss my kids. I have worked every day and night this week.
And Navigator, do I see him Monday? Myspace Lawyer? Do I see him Tuesday? And Mystery Man...lets be honest.....I would drop all of them for another day in paradise next week...... mmmmmmmm......
Spoke with Mr. Podcaster today....he actually wrote a song about me and sent me the words...so damn sweet. Talking about our friendship and how he helped me and I helped him. I can't write them here because if you subscribe to his podcast, you'll know who he is. Actually if you subscribe, you'll figure it out when you here it (there are frog acoustic in it..he.he.he)
Off to bed...wanna join me? Hubby has been out of the bedroom now for over 3 months. It's been amazing.....
I don't care if you have no makeup on and your eyes are puffy. I have great ears...come on...so I went. Looking crappy....eyes puffy and not a stitch of makeup...he looked at me and said "you are so sexy with no makeup, you are a natural beauty". Wasn't that sweet. So we sat and talked and it was soooo nice. We ate ices and he asked me what happened. And I spilled my guts (which I hate to give baggage but mine was so intense this week). I asked him for a great divorce attorney and he gave me a name. He said id he was thinking divorce this lawyer is the one. I trust him on that. He's a very successul lawyer and straight forward.
I get home...smiling...and there is an email from Mystery Man....my heart starts racing.....I wrote yesterday that I needed closure...can we meet at the STarbucks we first met at....I just wanted to hug him and say good by. I said I would be a really good girl and innocent like I always am...Starbucks only.
He wrote back.... Hmmmmmm.....
I wrote back.... Pleeeaaasssee (she says with her pouty lips, innocent green eyes)
He wrote back...Can you say that with your mouth full?
I started to drip......the thought a one last fling with him, makes me hot and so wet. A good by paradise.....will it happen, I don't know. He could be flirting but its amazing what seeing his email did to me again.
Horniness...quite frankly I am too tired. Working so manyy jobs I have lost track. I am so run down and I look it. I have to work tomorrow during the day and at night....I miss my kids. I have worked every day and night this week.
And Navigator, do I see him Monday? Myspace Lawyer? Do I see him Tuesday? And Mystery Man...lets be honest.....I would drop all of them for another day in paradise next week...... mmmmmmmm......
Spoke with Mr. Podcaster today....he actually wrote a song about me and sent me the words...so damn sweet. Talking about our friendship and how he helped me and I helped him. I can't write them here because if you subscribe to his podcast, you'll know who he is. Actually if you subscribe, you'll figure it out when you here it (there are frog acoustic in it..he.he.he)
Off to bed...wanna join me? Hubby has been out of the bedroom now for over 3 months. It's been amazing.....
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Frogs all Around and I am Asexual
My posts will probably be a little less frequent. I got another job at night. I am exhausted.....so much so, I have no desire for frogs. Am I beciming asexual again? I think the stress is making me that way. Hey, if you win the lotto, will you remember me?
Anyway, DigEm has been a gem. He is my support these days. My conclusion, I need someone like him in my life. He's supportive, caring, loving and he turns me on. Now I can't have him so I need to find a frog like that. the frogs I have been going for are the bad boys that I always went for.
MySpace Guy had plans to meet today.. I am cancelling them. I am too blah... The lawyer also wanted to meet tomorrow.....told him I couldnt. and Mr. Navigator took the day off to come see me next week. I haven't cancelled that...but I am tempted. If I cancel, I will never hear from him again.
Mystery Man re-appeared last night. I was doing work and an email came across. My stomach twisted. It was just a response to an email I sent awhile ago. He is thinking about me and that is wasn't me it is him. What the fuck does that mean?
Asexual again....this is sad. I am in work mode. I have no sexual desire.
Oh man, I forgot to tell you about meeting Mr. Podcaster. It was fun, I am glad that we met. He's adorable and so sweet. We spoke for hours...it was really nice. Like two old friends coming together. We kissed, he is a great kisser. We held each other and well..then we parted. It was like two old friends getting together. He invited me to the charity concert he was covering but I couldn't go. We said we would keep in touch. He thought I was stunning! (hehehe). I am glad we finally met. He emailed me the sweetest note....he mentioned me in his podcast (hidden in it--I can't wait to hear it).
Okay, gotta go to work....have a great night. Damn, I am pissed. I finally find my sexuality and now I am going asexual again....geez
Anyway, DigEm has been a gem. He is my support these days. My conclusion, I need someone like him in my life. He's supportive, caring, loving and he turns me on. Now I can't have him so I need to find a frog like that. the frogs I have been going for are the bad boys that I always went for.
MySpace Guy had plans to meet today.. I am cancelling them. I am too blah... The lawyer also wanted to meet tomorrow.....told him I couldnt. and Mr. Navigator took the day off to come see me next week. I haven't cancelled that...but I am tempted. If I cancel, I will never hear from him again.
Mystery Man re-appeared last night. I was doing work and an email came across. My stomach twisted. It was just a response to an email I sent awhile ago. He is thinking about me and that is wasn't me it is him. What the fuck does that mean?
Asexual again....this is sad. I am in work mode. I have no sexual desire.
Oh man, I forgot to tell you about meeting Mr. Podcaster. It was fun, I am glad that we met. He's adorable and so sweet. We spoke for hours...it was really nice. Like two old friends coming together. We kissed, he is a great kisser. We held each other and well..then we parted. It was like two old friends getting together. He invited me to the charity concert he was covering but I couldn't go. We said we would keep in touch. He thought I was stunning! (hehehe). I am glad we finally met. He emailed me the sweetest note....he mentioned me in his podcast (hidden in it--I can't wait to hear it).
Okay, gotta go to work....have a great night. Damn, I am pissed. I finally find my sexuality and now I am going asexual again....geez
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
A Killer Day
I am numb. Hubby came home with bad news today. I was thinking his car wasn't working, he had a rough day....well he lost his job. I am just numb. I can't even think.
Please excuse me, I can't even write tonight
Please excuse me, I can't even write tonight
Sorry About The Private Invite
Wow, it's been a little weird this week....hard to explain. I have no time right now but its been interesting......
My blog will close from 7pm-7AM until I can straighten some stuff up with my website. No, I did not get caught but I am trying to stay ahead of the hubby... Long story which of course I will share....so, if you come by and you see I am private...just know I am coming back....
Met with Podcaster...gotta give you that update as well as hubby update....
Crazy,crazy, crazy!!
xoxoxoxo
Well catch up on a few posts from last week...Take care!!
My blog will close from 7pm-7AM until I can straighten some stuff up with my website. No, I did not get caught but I am trying to stay ahead of the hubby... Long story which of course I will share....so, if you come by and you see I am private...just know I am coming back....
Met with Podcaster...gotta give you that update as well as hubby update....
Crazy,crazy, crazy!!
xoxoxoxo
Well catch up on a few posts from last week...Take care!!
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