It's been awhile since I have written. Not from a lack of wanting to but from a lack of time. I miss my blog, I miss my diary, I miss the serenity it has brought to me.
On a personal note, Cheri has been seeing one man for eight months now! Yes, not one cheat. I guess my big question is....is life always a scale or are you settling if someone is not exactly for you in every way? The New Guy and I connect emotionally and physically. There is never a lapse in our conversation, there is never a missing of affection, he loves to cuddle and he's amazing in bed. He can eat me out for hours and absolutely loves it, as do I. He's got a special technique with his lips and tongue that drive me insane.
I laugh like I have never laughed, I connect with him unlike others because we do not have secrets. However, there are the faults. He doesn't give me the support like Mr. Porsche did emotionally. It's a little about me and all about him sometimes. Most of the time its okay but some days, I need someone to hold me as the tears flow and tell me its going to be okay. That and his criticism of my lack of gym visits and my diet are starting to wear on me big time. Some days I feel I need a break. So if you are really happy and you enjoy someone but there are a few issues that are getting to you, do you stay?
My mind has been fragmented lately. Work is overwhelming and the house is too. The kids all have drama and I am trying to surge ahead with major things like wills, re-financing, ill parents....I have been carrying a very large burden. As expected, and none of you will be surprised, the EX has lost his job and got one and looking for another. So I had to pick up the burden of health insurance and he hasn't given me a penny in over 20 weeks. His old liens and problems just keep re-surfacing one way or another. IT's been a rough few months.
But...I have to say...I do not regret for one moment getting the divorce. If fact, with each screw up comes the satisfaction of knowing that I totally made the right decision. Now if life would just get a little easier!!
On a positive note, I am starting a new business. Aaahhh...I can't wait to get it off the ground. So I haven't been on Ashley Madison in a long time, anyone on there with some great stories? I miss it actually. Yes, the men were married but they were quality men. I have been considering to return to browse, see what's on there. Am I having an itch? I guess. I heard from so many blasts from the past this week that I am back thinking back to those hot sex encounters.
Mr. Porsche is still in my life but I haven't seen him in months. The pressure is on, he wants to see me. I don't have the heart to end it totally. Mystery Man...ahhh...I wouldn't trade a day in for what we had. The memories still pop in my head and make me smile. He won't write. I even attempted to bring him into the real world with me and link on linked in and he hasn't become my friend. I know its so over and honestly, I wouldn't want to re-kindle it because it might ruin the memories. But I have to tell you....everyone should have a romance like that. Everyone should experience the lust, passion and desire...one day we will meet again.
Showing posts with label Ashley Madison Agency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashley Madison Agency. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Power Of Guilt and Guiltless Infidelity
Ironically I was sitting here thinking about Guilt. How some things can bring on tremendous guilt within and others, while you think you would feel guilty, you don't. I feel guilt for almost everything in my life. Guilt on not finishing work, guilt on raising kids, guilt on not making a meeting, guilt on being late to an event, guilty about not calling a family member, guilty about not going to the gym GUILT, GUILT, GUILT. I feel more guilt than anything else.
However, the one area that I know, according to the world around me, I should feel tremendous guilt is with my infidelity. However, I do not. I should feel guilt about the married men I sleep with and the men's wives-I am with their husbands...but I do not. the hours of being on Ashley Madison and in search of a married man--but I do not. So I had to do some soul searching. Why do I not feel guilty? For a woman who once thought that cheating was disgusting-why the total turn around?
Being Stuck and desperate and so lonely. I did it out of a desperate need to escape and the desire to feel a connection again. I was dead inside, I wanted to be dead at one point. It was the high of talking and flirting online that kept me alive. And then the connection, the desire, the want, the need.....THE HIGH! It's as if I separated my lives into two neat worlds...never the two shall meet. How could I feel guilt for something that actually was keeping me alive?
And then my life started to slowly fall into some kind of shape and then I met men that brought me joy that no one else has ever brought me. So I reached a new level. Would I have stopped if I didn't find that wild sexual satisfaction? I don't know. I guess I will never know. But I still had never felt guilt. I felt more guilt when there were two frogs in my life at the same time then my infidelity. In fact, if the frogs had asked if there were others, I would never had lied. They did not ask, I did not tell.
So how did the lines get so muddy? The realization that I have slept with another woman's husband does not feel that great but its something I have blocked out. Oh I know they are married but I justify it because they feel the same way that I do. That misery, that void that needs to be filled. That emptiness and loneliness that I know so well. that room mate existence that comes to be.
Yet, then there are those that are happy with their lives, happy with their wives but just unsatisfied sexually. I do not judge. Personally, I do not think I would jeopardize my life I loved if I knew getting caught would cost me all the happiness.
I guess it is a scale. the Judging scale....the heavier side wins. reality, my scale was all one sided so there wasn't a real scale there. I knew what I had to do..maybe that is why it is guiltless. I also never did anything that got someone caught so I felt I never tore apart anyones marriage.
You come to this way of life and you take chances. It's a gamble. I have few regrets. Oh now that I know the outcomes, I would have skipped some frogs without a doubt. But a lot of the last few years has been a stepping stone to where i am today. And each one had been a lesson learned. Some harder than others, most worth the encounters.
I heard from Mr. Prize the other day. He is returning to his hometown to be with his family and wanted some closure. we have not seen each other in a long time nor have we spoken but the thought of closure was so hard for me. to severe the ties? We cannot severe ties and wrap them up into a box of memories and throw them in the river. Each frog will be with me for a lifetime. Each encounter may flashback at any time, any day, for any reason. It is a part of who we are. and hearing from Mr. Prize made me smile and remember how he helped me grow and the strength and confidence he gave to me sexually and as a person. Wow, the memories came back...he helped me grow and gave phenomenal advice and direction in many aspects of my life both mentally and sexually.
The one thing that I do know. There is not a frog that i hold any venom towards. Oh there are some that I would hardly remember, there are some that I would say what the hell did I even see in them...but for the most part, they are positive memories. And like Mr. Prize, if they called tomorrow I would smile--they are friends, a part of my life, a connection of my past, a building block.
So..I do not believe in regrets. I still am amazed at my lack of guilt but I guess does it really matter? Until you are here...until you feel that void that can almost drive you to suicide--you shouldn't judge.
A very good friend of mine is in the process of getting a divorce. girl gone wild!! I am amazed at her sexual freedom that she has found. I am enjoying hearing about her escapades since they reminded me so much of when i first began this journey and even more...when I went my wildest. have a matured over the years? In some ways, I have. I no longer have that dreamy, rose colored approach. Although with Mr. Astronaut, I got caught up in it again. The reality of that scared me but I have it more in check.
so there was my rant and my rave on guiltless infidelity. If I could just move it to the rest of my life--I would probably be better off.
However, the one area that I know, according to the world around me, I should feel tremendous guilt is with my infidelity. However, I do not. I should feel guilt about the married men I sleep with and the men's wives-I am with their husbands...but I do not. the hours of being on Ashley Madison and in search of a married man--but I do not. So I had to do some soul searching. Why do I not feel guilty? For a woman who once thought that cheating was disgusting-why the total turn around?
Being Stuck and desperate and so lonely. I did it out of a desperate need to escape and the desire to feel a connection again. I was dead inside, I wanted to be dead at one point. It was the high of talking and flirting online that kept me alive. And then the connection, the desire, the want, the need.....THE HIGH! It's as if I separated my lives into two neat worlds...never the two shall meet. How could I feel guilt for something that actually was keeping me alive?
And then my life started to slowly fall into some kind of shape and then I met men that brought me joy that no one else has ever brought me. So I reached a new level. Would I have stopped if I didn't find that wild sexual satisfaction? I don't know. I guess I will never know. But I still had never felt guilt. I felt more guilt when there were two frogs in my life at the same time then my infidelity. In fact, if the frogs had asked if there were others, I would never had lied. They did not ask, I did not tell.
So how did the lines get so muddy? The realization that I have slept with another woman's husband does not feel that great but its something I have blocked out. Oh I know they are married but I justify it because they feel the same way that I do. That misery, that void that needs to be filled. That emptiness and loneliness that I know so well. that room mate existence that comes to be.
Yet, then there are those that are happy with their lives, happy with their wives but just unsatisfied sexually. I do not judge. Personally, I do not think I would jeopardize my life I loved if I knew getting caught would cost me all the happiness.
I guess it is a scale. the Judging scale....the heavier side wins. reality, my scale was all one sided so there wasn't a real scale there. I knew what I had to do..maybe that is why it is guiltless. I also never did anything that got someone caught so I felt I never tore apart anyones marriage.
You come to this way of life and you take chances. It's a gamble. I have few regrets. Oh now that I know the outcomes, I would have skipped some frogs without a doubt. But a lot of the last few years has been a stepping stone to where i am today. And each one had been a lesson learned. Some harder than others, most worth the encounters.
I heard from Mr. Prize the other day. He is returning to his hometown to be with his family and wanted some closure. we have not seen each other in a long time nor have we spoken but the thought of closure was so hard for me. to severe the ties? We cannot severe ties and wrap them up into a box of memories and throw them in the river. Each frog will be with me for a lifetime. Each encounter may flashback at any time, any day, for any reason. It is a part of who we are. and hearing from Mr. Prize made me smile and remember how he helped me grow and the strength and confidence he gave to me sexually and as a person. Wow, the memories came back...he helped me grow and gave phenomenal advice and direction in many aspects of my life both mentally and sexually.
The one thing that I do know. There is not a frog that i hold any venom towards. Oh there are some that I would hardly remember, there are some that I would say what the hell did I even see in them...but for the most part, they are positive memories. And like Mr. Prize, if they called tomorrow I would smile--they are friends, a part of my life, a connection of my past, a building block.
So..I do not believe in regrets. I still am amazed at my lack of guilt but I guess does it really matter? Until you are here...until you feel that void that can almost drive you to suicide--you shouldn't judge.
A very good friend of mine is in the process of getting a divorce. girl gone wild!! I am amazed at her sexual freedom that she has found. I am enjoying hearing about her escapades since they reminded me so much of when i first began this journey and even more...when I went my wildest. have a matured over the years? In some ways, I have. I no longer have that dreamy, rose colored approach. Although with Mr. Astronaut, I got caught up in it again. The reality of that scared me but I have it more in check.
so there was my rant and my rave on guiltless infidelity. If I could just move it to the rest of my life--I would probably be better off.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Tiger Woods- Is it really our business?!?!
Wow....cheating is in the air. Yes, America's Golf Idol has been caught cheating. Why is everyone so surprised? Let's be realistic here, he fits the typical Type A perfectionist of power profile--high powered attorneys, men in top positions, politicians, sports figures, hollywood figures...men of power are usually cheaters. Whether they think they can get away with it, they are above all, whatever the reason--Tiger Woods is really a perfect example. Maybe because we all thought of him as a little boy who rose to stardom. Well he is a man. His wife actually looks like a little teenager, a Barbie doll. The woman he has an affair with, did you all notice they had amazingly succulent lips? Hmmmm....
Now he should have been smarter, don't ya think? Ashley Madison dear man. You should have chosen a married woman who would not want to rock his world. Not single woman who are looking for the public eye (and money). Ironically, this whole thing came to a head (hehe) because he cheated on the girl he was cheating on and she found out.
Well Tiger Woods, extramarital affairs always come out. However, I gotta say, I am shocked and kind of repulsed on how it is on every news channel with commentators debating it. Like it is a war, a missing child, a serial murderer. Please, the man had a few extramarital affairs. Quite honestly, it is between him and his wife. My opinion, most people like Tiger Woods, so leave the guy alone. It's sad and I am sure overwhelming. Think about it, if a regular person gets busted, their life turns becomes a whirlwind. I can't imagine having the world talking about it.
and then there is Mr. Porsche's take on it. He is saying how Tiger getting caught is bad for the entire male race of adulterers. Wives all across America are checking their husband's phones to see the numbers that they have callen. I mean, if clean cut Tiger Woods is having an affair, what about my husband. Yes, woman are bringing it up at the dinner table and in the bedroom. A perfect way to see your husband's reaction. A perfect way to see if he has a guilt attack or begins to shake.
So my take on it. Leave Tiger Woods alone. Give him and his wife a little room. And to everyone else who is cheating, remember, I always say....erase those text messages, emails and phone logs!!!!
Now he should have been smarter, don't ya think? Ashley Madison dear man. You should have chosen a married woman who would not want to rock his world. Not single woman who are looking for the public eye (and money). Ironically, this whole thing came to a head (hehe) because he cheated on the girl he was cheating on and she found out.
Well Tiger Woods, extramarital affairs always come out. However, I gotta say, I am shocked and kind of repulsed on how it is on every news channel with commentators debating it. Like it is a war, a missing child, a serial murderer. Please, the man had a few extramarital affairs. Quite honestly, it is between him and his wife. My opinion, most people like Tiger Woods, so leave the guy alone. It's sad and I am sure overwhelming. Think about it, if a regular person gets busted, their life turns becomes a whirlwind. I can't imagine having the world talking about it.
and then there is Mr. Porsche's take on it. He is saying how Tiger getting caught is bad for the entire male race of adulterers. Wives all across America are checking their husband's phones to see the numbers that they have callen. I mean, if clean cut Tiger Woods is having an affair, what about my husband. Yes, woman are bringing it up at the dinner table and in the bedroom. A perfect way to see your husband's reaction. A perfect way to see if he has a guilt attack or begins to shake.
So my take on it. Leave Tiger Woods alone. Give him and his wife a little room. And to everyone else who is cheating, remember, I always say....erase those text messages, emails and phone logs!!!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Mr. Security and the Stalking
Mr. Security is getting divorced as well. We have been in contact but he is afraid to see me. Within two weeks of his wife leaving, he hooked up with a neighbor down the block. He is trying this monogamy thing for awhile. Interesting concept but I admit, I don't plan on making it easy for him. I always felt one reason I lost MM was because of Mr. Security so to not have him even for a little==nah, I am going to make it a little rough for him to be a one woman man right now. And, it's for his own good. His track record of wives are woman who have never worked a day in their lives and need saving. And the new one is exactly that again--so I am doing a good service (hehehe) and quite frankly, I enjoy working him up a little.
However, I did have some things for his kids that we were suppose to meet and I was going to give him. I am tired of that bag sitting in my livingroom SOOOO I decided to look his address up on the computer. It was way too easy, he is listed...address and all. He isn't home (out with the kids), I am going to drop the bag off and leave. If he wants to see me after that, the bag is no excuse.
He lives relatively close to me (5 minutes actually) so I drove into his development. One thing, there is only one way in and one way out. I am pulling up to his house..getting ready to stop and drop when as I pull up--he is OUTSIDE emptying food shopping bags fron the car. CRAP! You see, I have a very obvious car. BRIGHT RED. Oh yes, you know I am coming for a good mile and since I had just gotten it washed....it shines like crazy. As I noticed him, he noticed me as well. My plan to drop and leave and text that I left it at his door, was not a plan anymore. My heart was palpitating and giggling at the same time because his expression was priceless.
I pulled up...."hey you! here's the puzzles. Nice to see you. Gotta go to lowes bye!" and I started to walk back to my car. He was speechless which for him is a miracle. WAIT WAIT WAIT!! as he is smiling and holding his head. How did you find me? DUH...white pages baby. Okay, gotta go... Wooooooooo....come over here.
So I walked over..."Hi, he said smiling." and he introduced me to his daughter. "Do you always stalk people and bring them puzzles??""
Nah, I leave other things as well....and started giggling.
We started chatting small talk and then he said to me. " You look great! I am glad you broke the ice. Can you come in for a second? " And then I said to him "I truly wanted to drop this off, I didn't mean to pop in on you...are you sure?" "Yes, he said...come on in"
So he gave me a tour of his house. And he showed me some things we spoke about on the phone over the year and then I said I have to go. He walked me to the door and said "so I have the popcorn already, just let me know when movie night is".
He walked me to the car and he kissed me goodby. As we were standing there, you could feel the sparks. Looking into his eyes..they sparkle and melt me and he knows that. Those eyes have sparkle like I have never seen before. I had to get out of there because my mind was wandering. "Thinking about some flashbacks?' he said....and I think I blushed. Giving him a seductive look I looked him in the eye and said "yeah, is that a problem? you bending me over the desk in the hotel just flashed across my mind". And he answered back "yeah, one of my favorite...along with me doing you on the bed as I whispered in your ear". UGH!!!!!! He knew I died from that flashback.....I kept a straight face...Yeah, that one too was hot. I'll use that one later" And very cool, I jumped in my car and threw him a kiss and drove away.
that was a week ago, and we have been in contact a couple of times a week since. He has been calling me almost everyday to say hi or messenger me to say something hysterical.
Tonight I was chatting with him and I told him I got new carpeting. "Awwww..your carpeting got laid before you". Fighting words there....total teasing is in line. So for the next half hour, I tortured him. Thanks for this raging woody before bed he said. And then I decided to top it off with a lip picture... WOW, I know those lips well. They are so damn hot!
I've been good, but busy. Busy with life, busy with the house, busy with the kids, busy with taking care of things. It has not been easy. Good things but I don't know what to do first. I cancelled with Mr. Sugar Daddy for tomorrow because I am seeing Mr. Porsche. We won't have time to sleep together but we are grabbing some lunch. I have been craving sex and with so many men, I have not gotten it at all.....Today I said to Mr. Porsche "do you still want me?" He answered "I've been busy but craving you everyday. You know I want you badly." Aaahhh....tomorrow I am going to figure out how to sneak a bj except there is one little sticky thing--tomorrow, he is meeting my kid. A little weird, I am nervous....my worlds are colliding but its ok.
OH! Heard through the grapevine,...the hubby went on a date. Gotta tell ya, the last five times he has been here, he is scratching his balls constantly. I hope he didn't catch anything....lol He didn't do that when he lived here.
However, I did have some things for his kids that we were suppose to meet and I was going to give him. I am tired of that bag sitting in my livingroom SOOOO I decided to look his address up on the computer. It was way too easy, he is listed...address and all. He isn't home (out with the kids), I am going to drop the bag off and leave. If he wants to see me after that, the bag is no excuse.
He lives relatively close to me (5 minutes actually) so I drove into his development. One thing, there is only one way in and one way out. I am pulling up to his house..getting ready to stop and drop when as I pull up--he is OUTSIDE emptying food shopping bags fron the car. CRAP! You see, I have a very obvious car. BRIGHT RED. Oh yes, you know I am coming for a good mile and since I had just gotten it washed....it shines like crazy. As I noticed him, he noticed me as well. My plan to drop and leave and text that I left it at his door, was not a plan anymore. My heart was palpitating and giggling at the same time because his expression was priceless.
I pulled up...."hey you! here's the puzzles. Nice to see you. Gotta go to lowes bye!" and I started to walk back to my car. He was speechless which for him is a miracle. WAIT WAIT WAIT!! as he is smiling and holding his head. How did you find me? DUH...white pages baby. Okay, gotta go... Wooooooooo....come over here.
So I walked over..."Hi, he said smiling." and he introduced me to his daughter. "Do you always stalk people and bring them puzzles??""
Nah, I leave other things as well....and started giggling.
We started chatting small talk and then he said to me. " You look great! I am glad you broke the ice. Can you come in for a second? " And then I said to him "I truly wanted to drop this off, I didn't mean to pop in on you...are you sure?" "Yes, he said...come on in"
So he gave me a tour of his house. And he showed me some things we spoke about on the phone over the year and then I said I have to go. He walked me to the door and said "so I have the popcorn already, just let me know when movie night is".
He walked me to the car and he kissed me goodby. As we were standing there, you could feel the sparks. Looking into his eyes..they sparkle and melt me and he knows that. Those eyes have sparkle like I have never seen before. I had to get out of there because my mind was wandering. "Thinking about some flashbacks?' he said....and I think I blushed. Giving him a seductive look I looked him in the eye and said "yeah, is that a problem? you bending me over the desk in the hotel just flashed across my mind". And he answered back "yeah, one of my favorite...along with me doing you on the bed as I whispered in your ear". UGH!!!!!! He knew I died from that flashback.....I kept a straight face...Yeah, that one too was hot. I'll use that one later" And very cool, I jumped in my car and threw him a kiss and drove away.
that was a week ago, and we have been in contact a couple of times a week since. He has been calling me almost everyday to say hi or messenger me to say something hysterical.
Tonight I was chatting with him and I told him I got new carpeting. "Awwww..your carpeting got laid before you". Fighting words there....total teasing is in line. So for the next half hour, I tortured him. Thanks for this raging woody before bed he said. And then I decided to top it off with a lip picture... WOW, I know those lips well. They are so damn hot!
I've been good, but busy. Busy with life, busy with the house, busy with the kids, busy with taking care of things. It has not been easy. Good things but I don't know what to do first. I cancelled with Mr. Sugar Daddy for tomorrow because I am seeing Mr. Porsche. We won't have time to sleep together but we are grabbing some lunch. I have been craving sex and with so many men, I have not gotten it at all.....Today I said to Mr. Porsche "do you still want me?" He answered "I've been busy but craving you everyday. You know I want you badly." Aaahhh....tomorrow I am going to figure out how to sneak a bj except there is one little sticky thing--tomorrow, he is meeting my kid. A little weird, I am nervous....my worlds are colliding but its ok.
OH! Heard through the grapevine,...the hubby went on a date. Gotta tell ya, the last five times he has been here, he is scratching his balls constantly. I hope he didn't catch anything....lol He didn't do that when he lived here.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Got the Mediator, Side Note..the sexual tension is unbearable
I spoke to a friend, lawyer I had met on facebook awhile back, who is excellent at what he does. No, we haven't had sex...he is my ice cream buddy. We go for ice cream sometimes and just talk about life (we've kissed...licked the ice cream off of each others faces is the most sexual contact we have ever had). He is also going through a rough time...they even went to a divorce attorney, his wife lost her job and then they proceedings stopped.
Reality, the hubby can't afford a lawyer. So if I want a divorce, it is going ot have to be through mediation. I got a name and I am calling today. I can't meet her alone I don't think....we have to meet at the same time I think. I am going to call today.
I wish I had a crystal ball...dom't we all?
As a side note, I have been searching Ashley Madison and found two men. Here's a hint gentleman....when you are trying to impress a woman and she asks..have you had an affair? She really doesn't want to know detail to detail....I mean explicit details of the sex and how amazingly hot and what a perfect body she had. And how she could give a blow job like no one else. Hmmm...just a hint. Especially even when you finished the conversation and he sent a note that she gave the best blow job he ever had. Hmmmm....I needed to know that...why? and even as an after thought. I started laughing. He's either really stupid or really dumb...lmao
So I put him to the curb. Two others, spoke to but my heart isn't into it. How ironic, since MM is gone, i haven't wanted to find another. I'm not waiting for him...he is gone (ok, a glimmer wishes he would decide he is horny, call me and we can fuck for hours)...but I haven't felt the desire for the search.
Today, I am soooooo damn horny. Poor Mr. Porsche...he's in a meeting and I call him. He picks up and says everything ok? With people in front of him....I asked...am I on speaker? No..he said. I said GOOD....I think you should stop the world right now and come over here and satisfy my because I am soooooo damn horny and need your cock right now. All you could hear was laughter from him. And a thanks, that is going to help me finish this meeting...lol He's so cute...I love shocking him like that....keeping him on his toes...keeping him young. Spontaneous....erotic...passion...hot sex....oh man...I need the world to stop right now and for me to let go of all this build of tension.....
Reality, the hubby can't afford a lawyer. So if I want a divorce, it is going ot have to be through mediation. I got a name and I am calling today. I can't meet her alone I don't think....we have to meet at the same time I think. I am going to call today.
I wish I had a crystal ball...dom't we all?
As a side note, I have been searching Ashley Madison and found two men. Here's a hint gentleman....when you are trying to impress a woman and she asks..have you had an affair? She really doesn't want to know detail to detail....I mean explicit details of the sex and how amazingly hot and what a perfect body she had. And how she could give a blow job like no one else. Hmmm...just a hint. Especially even when you finished the conversation and he sent a note that she gave the best blow job he ever had. Hmmmm....I needed to know that...why? and even as an after thought. I started laughing. He's either really stupid or really dumb...lmao
So I put him to the curb. Two others, spoke to but my heart isn't into it. How ironic, since MM is gone, i haven't wanted to find another. I'm not waiting for him...he is gone (ok, a glimmer wishes he would decide he is horny, call me and we can fuck for hours)...but I haven't felt the desire for the search.
Today, I am soooooo damn horny. Poor Mr. Porsche...he's in a meeting and I call him. He picks up and says everything ok? With people in front of him....I asked...am I on speaker? No..he said. I said GOOD....I think you should stop the world right now and come over here and satisfy my because I am soooooo damn horny and need your cock right now. All you could hear was laughter from him. And a thanks, that is going to help me finish this meeting...lol He's so cute...I love shocking him like that....keeping him on his toes...keeping him young. Spontaneous....erotic...passion...hot sex....oh man...I need the world to stop right now and for me to let go of all this build of tension.....
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Did I dream it?
All of a sudden, its as if the hubby said nothing. He gets annoyed when we were out shopping and he was ridiculing our child about a selection on bedroom furniture. That's gay looking and ugly. Hey, its my kids choice...keep your stupid comments to yourself. I brought him there to select what he wanted for his room. And it was his choice...I just looked at the hubby and said...so for your own bed when you move out, you can get the other one. He immediately shut up and started talking under his breath. I proceeded to work with my son to see if we could mix and match and if the colors were the same. They were very close so he chose what he wanted.
I did a lot around the house this weekend. I am outside, trimming the landscape, planting plants while the son and hubby are watching LaCrosse on tv. amazing....Anyway, I am happy with what I got done and scarily...I do worry about doing it all. I still have so much to do and its hard by myself.
Mr. Porsche has been a little distant. I am still not sure...when we are on the phone, things are fine. But we haven't been together in over three weeks. We talk all the time, saw each other for lunch but no afternoon rendezvous'. We are in a weird place right now. He says he wants my help for work but then he says hes afraid that its going to cost too much...he can't afford me. geez, I take that as an insult...I barely charge him anything and I give him everything at cost. Not sure if he meant me or the whole idea of expanding. Anyway, there is friction. I wrote him and asked, he didn't answer. I am sure it will come up again.
Today we spoke.....he had heard a commercial that I did and he was laughing. He was shocked to hear my voice coming through his radio...hahahahha...he can't escape me....didn't mention us meeting, didn't mention anything really although it was a great conversation..he's callling later, I am sure it will come up then.
Went on Ashley Madison again.....just to browse...but I am still not up to the cat and mouse game right now. Two guys on there that I met were SMOKIN. I mean they were certainly every girls dream. However, with my confidence so shot lately, I had decided not to pursue them at this time. They both took it as rejection and ironically they are pursuing me even harder now. As one said...I am never rejected, now I see what it feels like and it sucks. I explained that it wasn't rejection...I was just busy. I guess women are never busy for them...lol
Okay, one last thing.....I am going to be putting a comment approval on the site before a post is allowed to be posted. I love the comments and I encourage them...you guys are a huge support to me. You don't have to agree with me, you don't have to like what I am doing or even support me....BUT I will not be disrespected on my own site. "You get what you deserve comments" from someone who can't even claim an identity....I am not going to stand here and have someone who wishes me harm on my site. You dom't have to agree, you don't have to encourage..you can even disagree with me BUT to hope I fall flat on my face and wish me harm.....nope, I am not entertaining those comments.
So...please continue to comment....there shouldn't be that big of a delay because I have my blackberry. And for the gentleman who commented and didn't think I would get it because he posted on an earlier post...I do get them. And yes, Ashley is not just filled with fuck me and leave me people. Therre are people on there for many different reasons....and filling a void like you explained is exactly why I am there...
xoxoxox ALL....Enjoy the day!!
I did a lot around the house this weekend. I am outside, trimming the landscape, planting plants while the son and hubby are watching LaCrosse on tv. amazing....Anyway, I am happy with what I got done and scarily...I do worry about doing it all. I still have so much to do and its hard by myself.
Mr. Porsche has been a little distant. I am still not sure...when we are on the phone, things are fine. But we haven't been together in over three weeks. We talk all the time, saw each other for lunch but no afternoon rendezvous'. We are in a weird place right now. He says he wants my help for work but then he says hes afraid that its going to cost too much...he can't afford me. geez, I take that as an insult...I barely charge him anything and I give him everything at cost. Not sure if he meant me or the whole idea of expanding. Anyway, there is friction. I wrote him and asked, he didn't answer. I am sure it will come up again.
Today we spoke.....he had heard a commercial that I did and he was laughing. He was shocked to hear my voice coming through his radio...hahahahha...he can't escape me....didn't mention us meeting, didn't mention anything really although it was a great conversation..he's callling later, I am sure it will come up then.
Went on Ashley Madison again.....just to browse...but I am still not up to the cat and mouse game right now. Two guys on there that I met were SMOKIN. I mean they were certainly every girls dream. However, with my confidence so shot lately, I had decided not to pursue them at this time. They both took it as rejection and ironically they are pursuing me even harder now. As one said...I am never rejected, now I see what it feels like and it sucks. I explained that it wasn't rejection...I was just busy. I guess women are never busy for them...lol
Okay, one last thing.....I am going to be putting a comment approval on the site before a post is allowed to be posted. I love the comments and I encourage them...you guys are a huge support to me. You don't have to agree with me, you don't have to like what I am doing or even support me....BUT I will not be disrespected on my own site. "You get what you deserve comments" from someone who can't even claim an identity....I am not going to stand here and have someone who wishes me harm on my site. You dom't have to agree, you don't have to encourage..you can even disagree with me BUT to hope I fall flat on my face and wish me harm.....nope, I am not entertaining those comments.
So...please continue to comment....there shouldn't be that big of a delay because I have my blackberry. And for the gentleman who commented and didn't think I would get it because he posted on an earlier post...I do get them. And yes, Ashley is not just filled with fuck me and leave me people. Therre are people on there for many different reasons....and filling a void like you explained is exactly why I am there...
xoxoxox ALL....Enjoy the day!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Devil's Elf- Spreading the Ashley Madison Secret
Yes, the underground world of Ashley Madison. A secret place that most married people do not know exists. A double life with a seductive side. So hot, so exciting...yet we walk around in the real world and no one knows we are a member of this secret society. Makes you think, how many people do you know are members of OTHER secret societies that we just don't know about. A newscaster gets murdered in is apartment and was found to be soliciting 16 year olds on Facebooks. Yikes....not the way you want to leave this world.
So should I feel guilty that I tell people about a secret society that gives me so much pleasure! I mean lets face it....if it wasn't for Ashley Madison and the secret married but looking world, if I didn't find that having an extramarital affair was so damn hot and fulfilling, I would be miserable now. I have learned so much about myself and my body. I have found sinful joy...sinful lust and most importantly hot, hot, did I say super hot sex!
I would never know the joy of orgasming until your body is in bliss. I would never know the sensation of a blindfold and a lover who can do me in so many different position that I am amazed there is even that many positions. I have tried anal sex and loved it. I have tried whipped cream, chocolate pudding, pop rocks and numerous other items. I have felt lustful, passionate sex as well as slow, intense sex.....I have met lots of people and have even advanced my career.....lol
My point?! I have one friend who is going wild on there, literally screwing about six guys. I worry about her safety, I do not want to be responsible for that. I also just introduced a friend from childhood to the secret society. A boy that I knew when I was 7! His marriage is really bad and he was telling me and I was biting my tongue and not saying anything and after three weeks of chatting, I finally said--you should check out Ashley Madison. He has now joined and has two meetings next week. Why do I feel responsible? Why do I feel like I am helping spread the devil's message? Like the devil's elf! I guess I am so happy with Ashley, I want others who are miserable to find this special lustful place!
Today I got an email from one of the guys I have been chatting with. We are going to go slow and be friends? He confessed this morning that the past three days he has looked at my picture and masturbated...my oh my! I asked him..... was I good? What a bizarre feeling to know you are sleeping and someone is looking at your pix and jerking off. Hmmmm.....gotta think how I feel about that...
Well today is another day...you know my theory, leave yesterday behind. And I am glad I left yesterday behind, I was in a bad place. Working hard to stay positive today....I love Fridays. It's my day off. Well its technically my day off but I have never taken the day off. But it feels good to feel like you are catching up on the week (even though I am working just as hard)...hmm..something isn't right about that.
Enjoy the day!!!!!!!
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