Do you believe in signs? Do you believe in angels? I do. I know you may laugh but if I look at the signs...what may hurt now, can turn out to be the best thing down the road. I mentioned the guy who I almost married who turned out to be a child molester (his own--ugh). I swear my grandmother (who had just passed away) had pulled me away from him.
And with Mr you Win! There was a dark side. Here's an interesting fact..I didn't like his lips. something about someones lips when they are so damn tight. Not relaxed at all...they seem like this person is a time bomb ready to explode.
I guess I am bewildered by people when they do things that I can't even fathom doing. I don't know what his game plan was. He actually never went back to the site after this all happened. I think that he is used to being in total control. Controlling everything. With me, it was trying to figure out what would make me tick. He did and he ran with it.
He had a mission, he had a goal. His goal was to make me happy. He mentioned it quite a few times.....he was determined to make this soldier happy. And then I think back, when I would say something nice (like when he was having a bad day and I just was myself) he would say...you will be greatly rewarded for your loyalty. Interesting choice of words.
Well, gotta tell ya. I felt duped! But I am 100% bounced back. I really wasn't crazy about him per se. I was crazy about the way I felt. Crazy about how great he made me felt. Crazy about how special he made me feel. That was nice.
So what did I learn from this Dysfunctional Frog?
I learned that I do want to find that someone who can make me feel special. I learned that when I do find that special someone, he will be more than enough for my heart and soul. I also learned that it doesn't take as much as I thought it would to feel complete.
Back to regular life...back to the chaos of work...back to normalcy.
Again thank you all for caring so much. It feels so wonderful to know there are people who care about me (especially when I am down). And thankfully, after two days of licking my paws and feeling sorry for myself...I bounced back. Woo Hoo!!! That was a fast one!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Seduction of My Mind
So the drama left, the anger subsided and what is left....the hole. How ironic that the word "WHOLE" and "HOLE" are the same word yet mean exactly the opposite when it comes to your heart. I felt so WHOLE 24 hours ago and now I feel the HOLE again......rrrrrrr.
So what have I learned? Trust that damn inner voice of mine. I keep not listening. Oh I knew he was full of shit a lot...but he was feeding me the manure that I so badly wanted and that was filling up the emptiness. Tadpole and I were talking. I told him the other day, this guy was definitely not MArried Prince Charming. I knew he was handing me shit. MY hearts not broken.....I am just feeling a bruised ego. I didn't see him putting up another profile. I kept encompassing myself with his bullshit because it felt so damn good. Nothing is wrong with that because I knew. I guess the fact that he blindsided me, is what took me by surprise. That is what is pissing me off. He knew he was getting one over on me.
And reality is....I was no angel either. Okay, okay I admit it. I didn't have my profile up there BUT my feelings for Tadpole never swayed. The Fireman is still in the pix by email, I am debating whether to meet him. So technically I wasn't looking for new, but I didn't walk away from the interests I already had.
One thing I am learning from Ashley Madison is that it is addicting. That feeling of finding someone new....that desire, that tingling, that wetness......the imagination luring. The fact that this might be the guy who can make my body do things that it never has responded to.
I am being seduced by the thought of seduction.
Well, I did learn an important lesson fro this one. I know what the escape is that my inner self needs. It's definitely not just physical...its emotional too. ITs a connection....a deep connection..I like that. And it isn't true love. I'm not looking for true love....I'm not looking for a mate for life. I am looking for the physical and emotional connection along with reality that we belong to someone else. And honesty...I need to know the feelings are genuine. That's all I ask. That if you really like my smile....tell me. But if you don't...don't lie because it will get you in my pants.
Having been so busy, I didn't get to share all the nice things I had experienced. He seduced my mind...it was amazing. And that is what I am looking for. A man who mentally fulfills me in a way. How bizarre but think about it. The guys I am attracted to have all been extremely smart, witty and personable. It's not a mistake..its what I look for.
Okay, I am babbling.....I am back. Starting Wednesday, my life returns to what it was before and truthfully.....that's okay for now. How sad I feel I took so many steps back this week. I was almost at that door. Damn...I was sooo close to a total emotional and physical thing....
So what have I learned? Trust that damn inner voice of mine. I keep not listening. Oh I knew he was full of shit a lot...but he was feeding me the manure that I so badly wanted and that was filling up the emptiness. Tadpole and I were talking. I told him the other day, this guy was definitely not MArried Prince Charming. I knew he was handing me shit. MY hearts not broken.....I am just feeling a bruised ego. I didn't see him putting up another profile. I kept encompassing myself with his bullshit because it felt so damn good. Nothing is wrong with that because I knew. I guess the fact that he blindsided me, is what took me by surprise. That is what is pissing me off. He knew he was getting one over on me.
And reality is....I was no angel either. Okay, okay I admit it. I didn't have my profile up there BUT my feelings for Tadpole never swayed. The Fireman is still in the pix by email, I am debating whether to meet him. So technically I wasn't looking for new, but I didn't walk away from the interests I already had.
One thing I am learning from Ashley Madison is that it is addicting. That feeling of finding someone new....that desire, that tingling, that wetness......the imagination luring. The fact that this might be the guy who can make my body do things that it never has responded to.
I am being seduced by the thought of seduction.
Well, I did learn an important lesson fro this one. I know what the escape is that my inner self needs. It's definitely not just physical...its emotional too. ITs a connection....a deep connection..I like that. And it isn't true love. I'm not looking for true love....I'm not looking for a mate for life. I am looking for the physical and emotional connection along with reality that we belong to someone else. And honesty...I need to know the feelings are genuine. That's all I ask. That if you really like my smile....tell me. But if you don't...don't lie because it will get you in my pants.
Having been so busy, I didn't get to share all the nice things I had experienced. He seduced my mind...it was amazing. And that is what I am looking for. A man who mentally fulfills me in a way. How bizarre but think about it. The guys I am attracted to have all been extremely smart, witty and personable. It's not a mistake..its what I look for.
Okay, I am babbling.....I am back. Starting Wednesday, my life returns to what it was before and truthfully.....that's okay for now. How sad I feel I took so many steps back this week. I was almost at that door. Damn...I was sooo close to a total emotional and physical thing....
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I Let Him In
The last three weeks, I have felt amazingly great. I had met someone who I (once again) 
thought was my soulmate. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he wanted to know everything about me. We talked about our dreams, our desires...."I want to make you happy. I want to fulfill you, I want you to fall in love with me".
Brick by brick, he broke my wall down. Brick by brick, I allowed him to get closer to me, to my dreams, my desires, my inner soul. Not just the sexual part of me....my whole world. He was seeping into my brain and my heart. He was fulfilling that void that existed.
Yes, I felt great. I have to say, there was a voice inside who was warning me (I told it to both Tadpole and to Mr. Podcast) but overall...this man was doing everything right. I found myself letting totally go. I allowed myself to trust, to feel comfortable and not second guess him (which had always been a problem in the past). I felt secure with him (even with that little voice).
He wanted me to take down my profile from Ashley Madison. I agreed and asked the same from him. We decided that we should give it a shot without others. We would focus on exclusivity with each other. I shut my profile down....and for the first time..I was really okay with it. I didn't have the desire to go back and look. I didn't have the desire to search for more. The insecurity had disappeared.
And with this new found wholeness. I found that it made me better. Having that void fulfilled inside of me....was making me a stronger person. I never realized how much energy that void sucked from the person I am. With that void inside of me fulfilled, with happiness once again in my heart and fulfillment....I was able to concentrate and focus on my life. Feeling so good allowed me to expand that to other areas of my life. I forgot how Mr. Government had motivated me and Soulmate Chris. I forgot how great it felt to be complete.
thought was my soulmate. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he wanted to know everything about me. We talked about our dreams, our desires...."I want to make you happy. I want to fulfill you, I want you to fall in love with me".Brick by brick, he broke my wall down. Brick by brick, I allowed him to get closer to me, to my dreams, my desires, my inner soul. Not just the sexual part of me....my whole world. He was seeping into my brain and my heart. He was fulfilling that void that existed.
Yes, I felt great. I have to say, there was a voice inside who was warning me (I told it to both Tadpole and to Mr. Podcast) but overall...this man was doing everything right. I found myself letting totally go. I allowed myself to trust, to feel comfortable and not second guess him (which had always been a problem in the past). I felt secure with him (even with that little voice).
He wanted me to take down my profile from Ashley Madison. I agreed and asked the same from him. We decided that we should give it a shot without others. We would focus on exclusivity with each other. I shut my profile down....and for the first time..I was really okay with it. I didn't have the desire to go back and look. I didn't have the desire to search for more. The insecurity had disappeared.
And with this new found wholeness. I found that it made me better. Having that void fulfilled inside of me....was making me a stronger person. I never realized how much energy that void sucked from the person I am. With that void inside of me fulfilled, with happiness once again in my heart and fulfillment....I was able to concentrate and focus on my life. Feeling so good allowed me to expand that to other areas of my life. I forgot how Mr. Government had motivated me and Soulmate Chris. I forgot how great it felt to be complete.
Tonight was a bad night. The hubby did something that once again shook my world. He once again wrote a check without me knowing. And the mortgage money covered
it. The man had also taken my debit card and had the audacity to call to see why he couldn't get money out of the account. What?!? I quickly checked...well asshole, you wrote a check that came in that I didnt know about.
it. The man had also taken my debit card and had the audacity to call to see why he couldn't get money out of the account. What?!? I quickly checked...well asshole, you wrote a check that came in that I didnt know about. Totally distraught, I turned to my new wholeness. And of course, he comforted me and made me feel like a million dollars. He gave me hope that it would all work out. He sent me hysterical jokes every 4 minutes for an hour until I was giggling out of control. He made my heart sing....he cared about me. He made me feel so damn special. We had to reschedule our planned trip for tomorrow because of weather and me being sick. So I had already been down, then this with the hubby....I was feeling real bad. We decided to reschedule the trip for next week....our birthdays are two days apart. We were going to spend that day inbetween together in bed.....a present to both of us.
I started to clear out my email mailbox and came across a message from him that had been on Ashley. I went back to read it....to make me smile....and when I got there, his name was not on the favorite list. I haven't pulled up my Ashley in over 2 weeks since we decided to take the profiles down. However, a new name was on there. You see...a word of advice. If you change your name on Ashley Madison....the new name appears on someones favorite list in place of your old name. So that person knows you changed your name (which is a good thing).
So I click on this new name and there is his pix...his new profile...his new pix....and a whole new damn profile...and he checked it yesterday. Once again, I felt my insides being ripped out. That void was back and this time a little deeper. What a fucking fool I was. I believed him. I believed his caring, I believed his compassion, his aura, his desires to make me believe we were meant for each other. Him telling me today, how I should leave my husband and move up there near him (I laughed & told him how ridiculous but come on.....I feel so stupid for even thinking he meant it even for a nano second). I was taken ball and sinker by a player. He worked and worked and worked at the challenge....and probably enjoyed each brick as he felt them fall. He wanted the profiles down. I had gone this road before....but now he lied. I can't take lying it makes it impossible for me to believe anything else the person says. Sigh
I called him on it.....I built up as many bricks as I could. I emailed him and told him how happy I was that I found out before we spent the weekend together. Kudos, you played me for a fool. How stupid I thought you were different. We were both on the site at the same time. He didn't answer my email, I didn't acknowledge him.
So now, I am sitting here with this gaping hole in my heart again. I cried a little. You know I went to my tub...and I cried. Not because I lost him....but because the hole was back. The emptiness was back. I loved that feeling of completeness...of someone holding me in their arms, of someone making me feel so damn good. That first kiss, that second kiss...that feeling when someone touches you for the first time. That wetness that is so damn wet in between your legs. The desire, the passion. I loved hearing the words I love you, even though it wasn't a love like husband and wife...but a more I love who you are love. It would have been so sexually hot for us. He was the first guy who allowed me to get so close emotionally. We were almost there. Fate worked against us or my angels were working overtime for me.
I am angry and disappointed because it was so damn close this time. It felt so damn good. I kind of saw it (I did see he was a player, I told you all that). He's excellent. He stuck with it and worked me till the walls came down and I questioned my hesitations.
Okay, if you see the bricks lying around....send them my way. Actually, it felt soooo good, I know I need to find someone to fill that void. My profiles are back up. A couple of days and I may have the strength to go back....I need to lick the wounds a little. I was suppose to be in his arms lying in a hotel room tomorrow all day having amazing sex...and now...I will be moping around the house. Life really sucks sometimes....
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Mystery Cock
Today I am sitting in my training and a text message comes over. It's a pix of a cock. It's quite a nice looking cock. It came over Yahoo, so I wasn't sure who it belonged too. Now that is bad, a nice looking cock and you don't know who the owner of it is.
So I was thinking. It looked like Mr. Navigator's cock. And this week, he actually wanted to meet. I declined. One because of work and two well.....he hasn't really been around. But it looked like his cock...same direction bend, same size.....hmmmm...a definite potential.
Then there was Curious George. Curious George might send his cock but it didn't look like it. How funny, I am a cock identifier. His stands straight up more. His has a certain identifiable mushroom head and it is more round. Nah, not his.
Now there is Tadpole. Tadpole and I never kissed, I have never seen his cock....and well, this is not his style at all. Nah...not his.
Divorce Attorney....I doubt it. He;s shy..never would send a cock.
And then there is You Win! Now things are going well with you win. Actually, I am so my self with him. And, And, he is really giving me what I need emotionally. Yup!! finally a man who is not afraid to tell me how he feels. A man who tells me how great the weeks have been since I've come into his life. How he looks forward to hearing from me, emailing me.....how special I am to him. Now, here is a man who claims to want all of me. Heart and soul. He's not into cybersex or too erotic phone sex...so while this kind of looked like his cock.....I wasn't sure. He has never or was ever willing to send a pix of it.
I felt it was a test. A test for him to see if I knew it was his cock. A test to see if I really was not still talking with other men. Hmmmm.....do I call and say something? Do I text back. I decided to text back. Yes, this way, I am acknowledging the fine cock with nice girth....I was going to throw in is this a preview?
Well the Mystery Cock has finally been identified...it is Mr. You Wins to my surprise. And deep inside I think it was a test. I took my chance and mentioned it....and he was happy.
I am doing something I have never done before. I have a business trip next week. I am sleeping over and Mr. You Win! is going to meet me up there. How exciting, how scary. A full night in his arms....yummy!! I am excited and nervous. Oh, guess what. The Angels are working over time...I can feel my period coming on. He said....crime scene sex is okay...I hope it doesn't come to that. So yes, things are going well right now. I have left you out of the loop but Mr. You Win and I have been talking regularly.
He's planning a big day and night of sex around the clock with lots of toys!! I can't wait to share...I have a feeling this is going to be a night of lots of fun....talk soon!!
So I was thinking. It looked like Mr. Navigator's cock. And this week, he actually wanted to meet. I declined. One because of work and two well.....he hasn't really been around. But it looked like his cock...same direction bend, same size.....hmmmm...a definite potential.
Then there was Curious George. Curious George might send his cock but it didn't look like it. How funny, I am a cock identifier. His stands straight up more. His has a certain identifiable mushroom head and it is more round. Nah, not his.
Now there is Tadpole. Tadpole and I never kissed, I have never seen his cock....and well, this is not his style at all. Nah...not his.
Divorce Attorney....I doubt it. He;s shy..never would send a cock.
And then there is You Win! Now things are going well with you win. Actually, I am so my self with him. And, And, he is really giving me what I need emotionally. Yup!! finally a man who is not afraid to tell me how he feels. A man who tells me how great the weeks have been since I've come into his life. How he looks forward to hearing from me, emailing me.....how special I am to him. Now, here is a man who claims to want all of me. Heart and soul. He's not into cybersex or too erotic phone sex...so while this kind of looked like his cock.....I wasn't sure. He has never or was ever willing to send a pix of it.
I felt it was a test. A test for him to see if I knew it was his cock. A test to see if I really was not still talking with other men. Hmmmm.....do I call and say something? Do I text back. I decided to text back. Yes, this way, I am acknowledging the fine cock with nice girth....I was going to throw in is this a preview?
Well the Mystery Cock has finally been identified...it is Mr. You Wins to my surprise. And deep inside I think it was a test. I took my chance and mentioned it....and he was happy.
I am doing something I have never done before. I have a business trip next week. I am sleeping over and Mr. You Win! is going to meet me up there. How exciting, how scary. A full night in his arms....yummy!! I am excited and nervous. Oh, guess what. The Angels are working over time...I can feel my period coming on. He said....crime scene sex is okay...I hope it doesn't come to that. So yes, things are going well right now. I have left you out of the loop but Mr. You Win and I have been talking regularly.
He's planning a big day and night of sex around the clock with lots of toys!! I can't wait to share...I have a feeling this is going to be a night of lots of fun....talk soon!!
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Puzzle of my sex life!
I haven't been around because I am in a training seminar....actually I am so damn tired that I haven't even been able to think about sex.
Valentine's Day has come and gone. Not surprised hubby decided it was a bullshit holiday. The only surprise this year was from Mr. Navigator. Who, emailed me to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day and offered to take me out this week (or screw me I guess).
Well I got so many nice calls wishing me a Happy Valentines Day. I heard from a bunch of them.....Springer, You Win, Navigator, Divorce Lawyer, Fireman!! And of course, some of you readers. So, I really had a nice Valentine's Day overall.
You Win! Certainly won points this week. He has been super attentive, planning to get away with me for the day next week and well--I am beginning to enjoy him. He has even worked out a way for me to do business with a company by him (how convenient..don't you think?)
Fireman is back on the scene......he apologized and has been super attentive too. Yeah, lets see where that takes me.
Guarded.....I have found that I am very guarded these days and you know what? That is really great. I know, I know...its boring on my blog. But I am growing so much and I have to say that I am mentally feeling damn good. I don't need any of these men. I do want them but I don't need them and that is great. I can feel myself growing more independent each day. Like the pieces of a puzzle....I feel like I am finally getting to see the picture....there are still pieces missing but you know what? I am starting to see the design on the puzzle.
So what is the final piece? Only time can tell I guess.....
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Remembering...
I never got to sleep. But I did lie there and think about you. About your tender kisses and your tender touch. About how you held me soooo close and made me feel so content, so fulfilled and so safe. How I just sat there in your arms with my eyes closed and enjoyed the feeling of being there with you...no other place in the world would have been more perfect than where I was...in your arms...
And the moment in my head, when I knew I had to feel you touch me. How I knew (even though the moral girl inside of me was saying it wasn't the right thing to do)....how I knew I needed to feel you touch me. How my body just gave in to my desires and I could feel myself open up to you. How I opened my legs to you tand how badly I wanted to feel you touch me.
mmmmmmm.........
Sweet dreams my love....I can't wait to feel your touch again!
Juicy Fruit!!
Is this frog the Prince Charming to fill my void?
Hale this was sooooo damn funny...I had to move it to my blog!! Thank you!!!
A blonde said, "Doctor, I think my breasts are filled with water!"
...."Water?" the doctor replied. "What makes you think that?"
....She answered, "Whenever someone presses them my pussy gets wet."
(Think she's on to something?)
I had to share this...how funny life is sometimes. I am involved in this project that I have been waiting 4 years for. I can't get into detail now but let's say after a long interview process, screening process...I am chosen. Based upon my interview, personality and other items they matched me up with someone/something that has been specifically matched to me. Today was the day they introduce me to their choice. Can you guess what its name is?!? KERMIT
I immediately fell in love...what do you expect.....a perfect match more than they know....another frog in my life!!! Maybe this was the Prince Charming I was meant to meet.....I can't tell you how hysterical this is...I know it would be funnier if I could share the whole thing but I feel like this was God's little joke to me. I laughed so damn hard. Maybe this is the frog that is going to fill my void. Now if that is the case, my life should be made into a movie....
A blonde said, "Doctor, I think my breasts are filled with water!"
...."Water?" the doctor replied. "What makes you think that?"
....She answered, "Whenever someone presses them my pussy gets wet."
(Think she's on to something?)
I had to share this...how funny life is sometimes. I am involved in this project that I have been waiting 4 years for. I can't get into detail now but let's say after a long interview process, screening process...I am chosen. Based upon my interview, personality and other items they matched me up with someone/something that has been specifically matched to me. Today was the day they introduce me to their choice. Can you guess what its name is?!? KERMIT
I immediately fell in love...what do you expect.....a perfect match more than they know....another frog in my life!!! Maybe this was the Prince Charming I was meant to meet.....I can't tell you how hysterical this is...I know it would be funnier if I could share the whole thing but I feel like this was God's little joke to me. I laughed so damn hard. Maybe this is the frog that is going to fill my void. Now if that is the case, my life should be made into a movie....
Thursday, February 08, 2007
What Is Your Deepest Secret?
Okay, I will never ask that question again. You never know what you are going to hear. Today was a great day with Mr. You Win. It was filled with laughter and warmth and passion. He was such a gentleman and so caring. It was truly a nice lunch that went on for 3 hours. No lulls just constant talk and hand holding and just sweetness.
He was filled with compliments. Telling me how hot I looked. Telling me how I was more beautiful than he even imagined. Telling me that my eyes sparkled and my lips were amazing. I was on Cloud 9...a great connection.
"I want to get to know you. You know so much about me. Tell me, tell me your darkest and deepest secret?" He started off about his parent's divorce and how it left a lasting impression on him and scar. And then he went on to tell me two other secrets. Both on the serious nature that happened over 10 years ago. One, was easy to listen to an accept. The other was a lot deeper.
Without revealing too much. He had been brought up on a crime and he was found not guilty. Everyone thinks he didn't do it....he did. I sat there shocked. The expression on my face had to be one of disbelief. Now I know we felt close to each other but he just confessed something that he has told no one. Honestly, this is more than I can process...much more. Now it wasn't murder, robbery, buglary or assault with a deadly weapon. I can't say what it is..but it does make me a little uneasy.
So here I had a great day with someone and quite honestly...we did play a little. It was so gentle, it was sweet kisses which lead to some intense making out. Continued with his hands all over me (but not in the Mr. Lawyer way). It was slow, it was nice and I was really getting wet. He caressed my breasts and played with my nipples. My nipples have a direct line to my pussy. There is no doubt in my mind because now I was so damn wet. The more we kissed, the hotter it got...and quite honestly...I was so damn horny. I wanted to be touched...I wanted him to rub my clit. So when he asked for the tenth time, I got up on my knees and allowed him to go under my skirt for a feel. Well, that feel felt so damn good. He proceeded to go on the outside of my clit and then inside of me.
He called me Juicy Fruit..which caught me back...that is what Mr. Government called me. I do get very, very wet. I have always told you that. And I was so turned on by his gentleness and passion. Him just holding me in his arms saying such sweet things.
PArt of me really enjoyed the day, part of me is not sure if I should run. Its one thing to say you were acquitted of a crime and say you didn't do it. It's another to admit you were acquitted and you did do it. So unreal, I don't know what to believe. He had wished over and over that he didn't tell me. I'm glad I know but part of me wishes I didn't. I dont' want to end up on CourtTV om one of those Forensic Shows. He says he was wrong...he knew he shouldn't have done it...oh man...I can't just pick a simple frog now can I?
He was filled with compliments. Telling me how hot I looked. Telling me how I was more beautiful than he even imagined. Telling me that my eyes sparkled and my lips were amazing. I was on Cloud 9...a great connection.
"I want to get to know you. You know so much about me. Tell me, tell me your darkest and deepest secret?" He started off about his parent's divorce and how it left a lasting impression on him and scar. And then he went on to tell me two other secrets. Both on the serious nature that happened over 10 years ago. One, was easy to listen to an accept. The other was a lot deeper.
Without revealing too much. He had been brought up on a crime and he was found not guilty. Everyone thinks he didn't do it....he did. I sat there shocked. The expression on my face had to be one of disbelief. Now I know we felt close to each other but he just confessed something that he has told no one. Honestly, this is more than I can process...much more. Now it wasn't murder, robbery, buglary or assault with a deadly weapon. I can't say what it is..but it does make me a little uneasy.
So here I had a great day with someone and quite honestly...we did play a little. It was so gentle, it was sweet kisses which lead to some intense making out. Continued with his hands all over me (but not in the Mr. Lawyer way). It was slow, it was nice and I was really getting wet. He caressed my breasts and played with my nipples. My nipples have a direct line to my pussy. There is no doubt in my mind because now I was so damn wet. The more we kissed, the hotter it got...and quite honestly...I was so damn horny. I wanted to be touched...I wanted him to rub my clit. So when he asked for the tenth time, I got up on my knees and allowed him to go under my skirt for a feel. Well, that feel felt so damn good. He proceeded to go on the outside of my clit and then inside of me.
He called me Juicy Fruit..which caught me back...that is what Mr. Government called me. I do get very, very wet. I have always told you that. And I was so turned on by his gentleness and passion. Him just holding me in his arms saying such sweet things.
PArt of me really enjoyed the day, part of me is not sure if I should run. Its one thing to say you were acquitted of a crime and say you didn't do it. It's another to admit you were acquitted and you did do it. So unreal, I don't know what to believe. He had wished over and over that he didn't tell me. I'm glad I know but part of me wishes I didn't. I dont' want to end up on CourtTV om one of those Forensic Shows. He says he was wrong...he knew he shouldn't have done it...oh man...I can't just pick a simple frog now can I?
The Meeting
80 miles away is a real long way. Very far for a secret lover. I keep pointing that out to Mr. You Win! and he will not except it. What is your schedule like this week? I tell him and most would have given up. Well it looks like you have available tomorrow 11A-2pm. I will call you back. He did. Okay, I will come to you tomorrow. I need to look into your eyes...I need to see that smile in person.
He is coming here!!
Hale left a message that pointed out something real important. There is no sexual exchange. Wow!! Can you believe it? We do touch on it...we do elude to it. But he has this thing with wanting to be different....he doesn't want to be a frog (although he doesn't know the terminology--he says I want to be different in your life from the rest).
I actually start to talk sexually and he pulls me back into emotional....very scary stuff yet so different.
But I do notice something right off the bat. The only guys that I have had a real skipping the beat feeling are those that I connect with on an emotional level. They are the only ones I truly fantasize about or even think about more than for a few days. So that says something about how important a mental connection is..
Aaah, yes,,,,Lori was right. A smooth talker....a smooth operator.....I am petrified today. Got knots in my stomach, wanna cancel and I am acting like a little school girl.
Only problem....I woke up and feel the walls up...they are up pretty high this morning protecting my heart and soul. I have a feeling its going to be a lot of work to protect my soul today!
He is coming here!!
Hale left a message that pointed out something real important. There is no sexual exchange. Wow!! Can you believe it? We do touch on it...we do elude to it. But he has this thing with wanting to be different....he doesn't want to be a frog (although he doesn't know the terminology--he says I want to be different in your life from the rest).
I actually start to talk sexually and he pulls me back into emotional....very scary stuff yet so different.
But I do notice something right off the bat. The only guys that I have had a real skipping the beat feeling are those that I connect with on an emotional level. They are the only ones I truly fantasize about or even think about more than for a few days. So that says something about how important a mental connection is..
Aaah, yes,,,,Lori was right. A smooth talker....a smooth operator.....I am petrified today. Got knots in my stomach, wanna cancel and I am acting like a little school girl.
Only problem....I woke up and feel the walls up...they are up pretty high this morning protecting my heart and soul. I have a feeling its going to be a lot of work to protect my soul today!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Retreat or Enjoy?
He's a great writer and a great communicator. His goal is to make me happy (or so he says). "I want to take you to that other world you want. I want to make you forget and enjoy our time together. You deserve to forget for a little. You deserve to feel whole. It's not the physical I want to give you, its emotionally how I want to make sure you are complete."
Oh yeah....Cheri is in trouble. Reality, reality is he lives way too far away. It's never going to be anything big. But it does fill that emotional need. He does spend a lot of time analyzing me and tries so hard to get in. MY giggles, my joking, he says is a beautiful front to the woman inside. As he tries to get closer, I feel myself getting nervous. He is peeling me layer by layer...
Do I retreat or do I just enjoy?
An excerpt from our emails yesterday:
My ear aches, and my voice is hoarse from our busy days...but my fingers are
still doing the walkin'
I was doing an email to a client when you rang, but before that I was
thinking of you (Smirk)
I am curious what will happen when our eyes meet...I just hope I don't get
shy! No my cock doesn't do that...you need to work. I'm not some goon with a
boner to bury!
You have made very very happy and excited in what our future and escapes
will hold. I feel like I did in HS! I'm walking on air, I just wish I could
be with you now. I want to show you what you mean to me, not just tell you
about it.
I'll leave you with one last question. how long does it take to fall in
love. A month. A day. A year. never? I'd like to read your thoughts...
Oh yeah....Cheri is in trouble. Reality, reality is he lives way too far away. It's never going to be anything big. But it does fill that emotional need. He does spend a lot of time analyzing me and tries so hard to get in. MY giggles, my joking, he says is a beautiful front to the woman inside. As he tries to get closer, I feel myself getting nervous. He is peeling me layer by layer...
Do I retreat or do I just enjoy?
An excerpt from our emails yesterday:
My ear aches, and my voice is hoarse from our busy days...but my fingers are
still doing the walkin'
I was doing an email to a client when you rang, but before that I was
thinking of you (Smirk)
I am curious what will happen when our eyes meet...I just hope I don't get
shy! No my cock doesn't do that...you need to work. I'm not some goon with a
boner to bury!
You have made very very happy and excited in what our future and escapes
will hold. I feel like I did in HS! I'm walking on air, I just wish I could
be with you now. I want to show you what you mean to me, not just tell you
about it.
I'll leave you with one last question. how long does it take to fall in
love. A month. A day. A year. never? I'd like to read your thoughts...
And you think I don't kiss the frogs?!
I saw this and it was one of those things that just strike a chord. I started laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my face....yes, I was about to blog about something serious....my newest online meeting...and then I saw this.
All I kept thinking was damn....there is a prince in there..so, if I check inside a frogs mouth BEFORE I kiss them....hmmmm....it would save me a lot of time!! Hee. Hee.
I loove the frogs!!
All I kept thinking was damn....there is a prince in there..so, if I check inside a frogs mouth BEFORE I kiss them....hmmmm....it would save me a lot of time!! Hee. Hee.
I loove the frogs!!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Phone Sex and A New Frog
So I was browsing on Ashley Madison this weekend because quite frankly, I was fed up. Tadpole, had time on Saturday to call and I'm sure today, but he chose not to. Okay, except Friday I spent the afternoon having phone sex with him (truly one way since he couldn't talk but I did get his concentration away from his work). So with a bullet vibrator in my butt and one in my pussy, I came so damn hard....mmmmm....I was so wet. I was shocked at how much my body shivered. It was such a turn on that he was listening to me cum...mmmmm.
Lawyer sends me a note saying hi, how are you? Idiot!! I'm great and you? I hope you find what you are looking for (I said to him). Oh, I think I may have thought I needed something that I couldn't handle right now (he says)
"well, I said to him...the only thing I can say is that I thought you had more integrity to tell me to my face not leave a message for 10 minutes on my voicemail. He seemed to be more of a man than that. (which obviously his a nerve...he has been trying to reach me).
So a little annoyed and bored....I took to browsing Ashley on Saturday. New men.....I checked out their profiles. Two potentials and one obnoxious idiot. His profile was the most obnoxious I had ever seen (if you are looking for an upgrade, keep looking--move on). So I decided to send him an email...You Win! I have read hundreds of profiles and you have officially won the most obnoxious award. You will certainly charm the woman with your rudeness. Hee. hee...my fun for the night and I moved on.
A boy toy....he's 34 and his wife is 27. Come on! What would he want from me?! But he is relentless...sweet but I dont see that going too far. We have spoken before...for 6 months he has been trying to get to meet me. He was the birthday boy.
To my surprise there was a response from the You Win! Guy.....obnoxious yet quite funny and entertaining. So I went back with a rude and funny comment. Before you knew it, I gave this guy my email and we were going back and forth. He was hysterical. And then he says to me...."well you passed the barrier. I want to get to know the girl who has the confidence enough to bust my hump like this". Lets really talk now. And so we did. And man oh man, what a truly great guy he is. He's charming, he's deep, he's quick witted and he's good looking.
I took a new approach....I threw all the crap on the table. Told him about my serious issues I had going on at home, told him I didn't need the BS, told him its unrealistic--the distance, the fact that he never had an affair. 900 reason why our conversation was ridiculous. And then he came back with 901 reasons why I was being a pain in the ass!!
Actually he did something that was pretty amazing. He opened up his soul to me. And we all know how I am a sucker for someone who allows me into their soul. Yet, he's a former MArine and control is so important to him (uhm!! there is that control thing again!!) He's a unique combination....kind of refreshing. Actually, he is on the same page with Mr. Prize. I feel I can talk with him and tell him anything (so quickly too) and he didn't judge me.
He says those things that you long to hear. How my smile was amazing and how sweet it was. How my eyes were so dazzling and so inviting. Man, he was good. Today we spoke....for hours. I mean hours and hours. We learned so much about each other. He wanted to know everything and I everything about him. It was so nice to have someone so open in some ways yet strong.
I almost, almost told him about the blog. But I was glad when I decided not to. He went on to say how he only wants one woman. This isn't a smorgasboard.....he wanted one woman and one woman to want him and him alone. Okay, we all know me now. He would have to be Mr. Married Prince Charming to get that prime positioning in my life. I am not willing to be pidgeon holed into a one person affair if it wasnt perfect (and especially at our distance). So if I would have told him that I would agree to those arrangements....no more blogging about others. Nah! the blog is not to be mentioned no matter what.
Lawyer sends me a note saying hi, how are you? Idiot!! I'm great and you? I hope you find what you are looking for (I said to him). Oh, I think I may have thought I needed something that I couldn't handle right now (he says)
"well, I said to him...the only thing I can say is that I thought you had more integrity to tell me to my face not leave a message for 10 minutes on my voicemail. He seemed to be more of a man than that. (which obviously his a nerve...he has been trying to reach me).
So a little annoyed and bored....I took to browsing Ashley on Saturday. New men.....I checked out their profiles. Two potentials and one obnoxious idiot. His profile was the most obnoxious I had ever seen (if you are looking for an upgrade, keep looking--move on). So I decided to send him an email...You Win! I have read hundreds of profiles and you have officially won the most obnoxious award. You will certainly charm the woman with your rudeness. Hee. hee...my fun for the night and I moved on.A boy toy....he's 34 and his wife is 27. Come on! What would he want from me?! But he is relentless...sweet but I dont see that going too far. We have spoken before...for 6 months he has been trying to get to meet me. He was the birthday boy.
To my surprise there was a response from the You Win! Guy.....obnoxious yet quite funny and entertaining. So I went back with a rude and funny comment. Before you knew it, I gave this guy my email and we were going back and forth. He was hysterical. And then he says to me...."well you passed the barrier. I want to get to know the girl who has the confidence enough to bust my hump like this". Lets really talk now. And so we did. And man oh man, what a truly great guy he is. He's charming, he's deep, he's quick witted and he's good looking.
I took a new approach....I threw all the crap on the table. Told him about my serious issues I had going on at home, told him I didn't need the BS, told him its unrealistic--the distance, the fact that he never had an affair. 900 reason why our conversation was ridiculous. And then he came back with 901 reasons why I was being a pain in the ass!!
Actually he did something that was pretty amazing. He opened up his soul to me. And we all know how I am a sucker for someone who allows me into their soul. Yet, he's a former MArine and control is so important to him (uhm!! there is that control thing again!!) He's a unique combination....kind of refreshing. Actually, he is on the same page with Mr. Prize. I feel I can talk with him and tell him anything (so quickly too) and he didn't judge me.
He says those things that you long to hear. How my smile was amazing and how sweet it was. How my eyes were so dazzling and so inviting. Man, he was good. Today we spoke....for hours. I mean hours and hours. We learned so much about each other. He wanted to know everything and I everything about him. It was so nice to have someone so open in some ways yet strong.
I almost, almost told him about the blog. But I was glad when I decided not to. He went on to say how he only wants one woman. This isn't a smorgasboard.....he wanted one woman and one woman to want him and him alone. Okay, we all know me now. He would have to be Mr. Married Prince Charming to get that prime positioning in my life. I am not willing to be pidgeon holed into a one person affair if it wasnt perfect (and especially at our distance). So if I would have told him that I would agree to those arrangements....no more blogging about others. Nah! the blog is not to be mentioned no matter what.
I was honest, I told him about my past rendezvous'. I left out the ones that were less than a fuck though. But 5 is a large enough number anyway. I would want you all to myself...I wouldn't want to share you as I wouldn't expect you to share me. Hmmm....we haven't met yet, I told him. I can't make you such a promise.
So do I think there is potential? I am not getting my hopes up. I have done before and it has gotten me down. But I gotta say, I love when I am told that I am beautiful and sexy and that he can't stop thinking about me. I love that feeling of my heart beating and the smile on my face from ear to ear. And I love when I feel that little tingle and someone seeps in my brain in hopes that he may be able to make me feel alive.
Who knows....its not realistic, but it gets me through the day. And hey, you never know right? what do they say for lotto...you gotta be in it to win it!! I'll keep ya updated1!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
So How are you doing sexually in 2007?
I stole this from Speakin...I thought it would be fun to see how I am doing sexually. Once again, I guess its back to what constitutes sex? I realized that I have not gotten laid in a long time. Holy Shit, I was depressed today thinking about it. All Work And No Play Makes Cheri A Dull, Dull Girl! Damn, it's been a slow start to the year....sigh. Well this test made me so horny, I called Tadpole for him to listen to me masturbate...mmmmmmmm...details to follow!
I am determined, determined to complete this test! I want 100% on it. Are there any volunteers to help me in the areas that I have not complete?!?! Yum!! Let's get started!!
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? I was shocked by this one! The answer is NO!! Oh my, I am depressed. I have had my tongue down men's throats, I have been fingered in a restaurant and in the train station, I have masturbated up a storm....but I haven't had a hard cock inside of me the whole year so far...this is depressing!!
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? YES and I liked it! A swimming pool at a hotel, a hot tub, outdoors, on the beach, etc. etc. Does fingering count? Two weeks ago!
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Absolutely! The best sex I have ever had has included laughter and fun! (I have never laughed at a guy's cock. To me, they are all so hot and a piece of art..)
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? No. Well there was one time when I knew it was over with a lover and it was kind of sad but I didn't actually cry....
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Well, do you even have to ask this question. Nothing is better than entwining yourself with your lover and cuddling....mmmmmm
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Not really. I may look back and say why did I bother but I have never regretted it--all part of the learning experience.
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Let's see...hee.hee...uhm....YES, many a times!
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? BOTH. I love when a guy whispers in my ear how much he wants to fuck me and what he wants to do to me....and other times...the body does the talking and there is no need for words.
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yes.....I have a few kids don't I?
10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? NO. Since I was a young girl,my friends and I had an agreement. You like him...we all stay away. Actually worked really well...I still believe you don't touch your friends man.
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Should I even answer this? A one night stand, a one day stand, a one car stand.....
12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? No and we need to change that
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Yes, but I am truly more interested in what is going on with me not the porn.
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Oh please. Hubby everytime, lovers...I am focused 100% on them
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? YES
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? I can honestly say my broken crown scratching mr. Government's cock....or maybe when I was chewing gum during the blow job and it all stuck on his cock....such fine memories he must have of our times together.
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 17.
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? The line forms to the right please!!
19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? ??
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? The question should be are you ever NOT horny!!
21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? I'm can still stay within my hands and toes when counting (of course if you consider oral and other things.....I can't even count)
22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? Some of my wildest and best memories have been in cars....YUM!!
23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? No, I actually saw him in a car a few months ago but I didn't stop.
24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? NOPE.
25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? Hmmm....do I need to answer.
26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD? Amazing!! Life savers!! I love my toys!! So much so that when I first read this question, it made me so horny I went upstairs and played with two of them (right Tadpole?...lol)
27. LINGERIE? I find it sexy. In fact, I always wear a lacy camisole under my power suits....a touch of feminine...a strategic advantage. In the bed, mmmmmm....I love when a man peels it off of me
28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? NO. I don't mix business and pleasure.
WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX
(X)park
( )church
( )cemetery
(X)beach
(X)boat
(X)school (parking lot)
(X)parent's bed
(X)your bed
(X)car
(?)picnic table- oral
(?)kitchen counter-- a must this year. Does it count leaning on it and fucking?
(X)couch/chair
(?)dining room/kitchen table--again, does leaning count?
(X)woods (open and/or in a tent)
( )hood of a car
(X)bathroom
(X)shower - My tub is a must....
(X)the other person's bed
( )porch/deck/balcony
(X)in a house with parents home
(X)at a party
( )on top of the washer/dryer--I definitely want to try this one
(X)with other people in the room
(X)hotel
( )concert
( )grandparent's house--I fooled around but never actually had sex (I was young)
( )field--sounds romantic, put it on the list
( )bleachers--mmmm...I could get into this
FYI....this list got my imagination wandering. It actually made me very horny and desiring to complete the areas that were not checked or no's. Having sex in a field, lying with you on the beach, us completing my list... Oh my, I'm waiting for you with my bags packed to start our adventure. Which should we pick first? Can we complete them all within a week? a month? Mmmmmm....I'm headed upstairs now to start..I'm waiting for you!
I am determined, determined to complete this test! I want 100% on it. Are there any volunteers to help me in the areas that I have not complete?!?! Yum!! Let's get started!!
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? I was shocked by this one! The answer is NO!! Oh my, I am depressed. I have had my tongue down men's throats, I have been fingered in a restaurant and in the train station, I have masturbated up a storm....but I haven't had a hard cock inside of me the whole year so far...this is depressing!!
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? YES and I liked it! A swimming pool at a hotel, a hot tub, outdoors, on the beach, etc. etc. Does fingering count? Two weeks ago!
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Absolutely! The best sex I have ever had has included laughter and fun! (I have never laughed at a guy's cock. To me, they are all so hot and a piece of art..)
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? No. Well there was one time when I knew it was over with a lover and it was kind of sad but I didn't actually cry....
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Well, do you even have to ask this question. Nothing is better than entwining yourself with your lover and cuddling....mmmmmm
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Not really. I may look back and say why did I bother but I have never regretted it--all part of the learning experience.
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Let's see...hee.hee...uhm....YES, many a times!
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? BOTH. I love when a guy whispers in my ear how much he wants to fuck me and what he wants to do to me....and other times...the body does the talking and there is no need for words.
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yes.....I have a few kids don't I?
10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? NO. Since I was a young girl,my friends and I had an agreement. You like him...we all stay away. Actually worked really well...I still believe you don't touch your friends man.
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Should I even answer this? A one night stand, a one day stand, a one car stand.....
12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? No and we need to change that
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Yes, but I am truly more interested in what is going on with me not the porn.
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Oh please. Hubby everytime, lovers...I am focused 100% on them
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? YES
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? I can honestly say my broken crown scratching mr. Government's cock....or maybe when I was chewing gum during the blow job and it all stuck on his cock....such fine memories he must have of our times together.
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 17.
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? The line forms to the right please!!
19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? ??
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? The question should be are you ever NOT horny!!
21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? I'm can still stay within my hands and toes when counting (of course if you consider oral and other things.....I can't even count)
22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? Some of my wildest and best memories have been in cars....YUM!!
23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? No, I actually saw him in a car a few months ago but I didn't stop.
24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? NOPE.
25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? Hmmm....do I need to answer.
26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD? Amazing!! Life savers!! I love my toys!! So much so that when I first read this question, it made me so horny I went upstairs and played with two of them (right Tadpole?...lol)
27. LINGERIE? I find it sexy. In fact, I always wear a lacy camisole under my power suits....a touch of feminine...a strategic advantage. In the bed, mmmmmm....I love when a man peels it off of me
28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? NO. I don't mix business and pleasure.
WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX
(X)park
( )church
( )cemetery
(X)beach
(X)boat
(X)school (parking lot)
(X)parent's bed
(X)your bed
(X)car
(?)picnic table- oral
(?)kitchen counter-- a must this year. Does it count leaning on it and fucking?
(X)couch/chair
(?)dining room/kitchen table--again, does leaning count?
(X)woods (open and/or in a tent)
( )hood of a car
(X)bathroom
(X)shower - My tub is a must....
(X)the other person's bed
( )porch/deck/balcony
(X)in a house with parents home
(X)at a party
( )on top of the washer/dryer--I definitely want to try this one
(X)with other people in the room
(X)hotel
( )concert
( )grandparent's house--I fooled around but never actually had sex (I was young)
( )field--sounds romantic, put it on the list
( )bleachers--mmmm...I could get into this
FYI....this list got my imagination wandering. It actually made me very horny and desiring to complete the areas that were not checked or no's. Having sex in a field, lying with you on the beach, us completing my list... Oh my, I'm waiting for you with my bags packed to start our adventure. Which should we pick first? Can we complete them all within a week? a month? Mmmmmm....I'm headed upstairs now to start..I'm waiting for you!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Comment Now Working!
The comment section is now working!! Sorry and thanks Percy for letting me know!!
XOXO
XOXO
Thursday, February 01, 2007
All I Can Say Is - $%##%!!
You know what? I am not even mad, I am more disgusted.
Having spoke with Mr. Podcaster and Tadpole in depth on how Mr. Lawyer is so not for me. That I didn't even think that I was going to see him again....actually I kind of knew that I wasn't going to see him again unless he made an effort to come out to see me. I was debating to write him off totally, but that isn't my style. I figured I would see what happened. Reality, I am not into him. I really liked him as a friend but not even that much as a friend. I liked that attention. I didn't have the balls to put an end to it.
Well he leaves a five minute message on my machine how his wife is his best friend. that he can't stand looking at her and lying to her. That he just can't do it right now. That is it just the two of them, he loves her and he can't lie to her everyday. What?! He got a concscious...can't be!!
So, I laughed listening to the message as he went on and on how he is so torn because he really likes me and blah, blah, blah......how he is fantasizing about me blah, blah, blah..how he meant everything he said...blah, blah, blah
Bottom line.......the prick left a voice mail. I agree with what he said. I truly don't care, we are at different points in our lives and quite frankly, he does not have the moral ethics that I need in a person. I saw qualities of my husband that were turning my stomach. But a voice mail...how disrespectful....take it like a man!!!!! Say it to my face. Actually, I am not that upset.....it was funny listening to his diarhhea of the mouth. But I feel a little disrespected. And then he puts his IM on (I am the only one he IMS) like I would IM him today?!?!?
And then the Tadpole....I call him every damn day. we chat. The other day I said, please call me. I want to see that you really do care and that you want me to call like you say and you enjoy talking to me. Please, you make the call tomorrow and don't be a wise ass and not call. He knew it would get me in a tizzy if he didn't call. Guess what? He didn't call. I will call you tomorrow and tomorrow came and went. And today is halfway over and no call. I AM NOT CALLING!!!!!!!! TADPOLE!!!!!! I AM NOT CALLING!!! I am hurt that he knew how important it was to me and he knew I would be hurt and well he didn't call.
So..... $%#$%#$%....to all you frogs!! I am off to do some more work...I just had to stop and get this off my chest.
Talk to ya later!!
UPDATE: Blogger wasn't working so I couldn't post this this afternoon. Tadpole called (hee.hee). I toldt him about my post, he started laughing. gotta tell ya, he knows an important rule....when you don't know what to say, don't say anything. Drives me crazy when there is silence but he is smart. Because you may say the wrong thing....actually we had a good conversation. I do love talking to him. He keeps a smile on my face. I brought up today how we have never even kissed. We met twice for coffee, and never kissed. Interesting!! Today, we discussed where we should meet if we were to meet. Well, I am not touching that one with a ten foot pole. I told him to let me know what KIND of establishment we are going to meet at and I will find the place. Yeah...I will wait for his response. Strangely enough, I never attempted to kiss him. Now that I look back, I don't think I made the first move with any frogs (except Mr. Government who was so shy and that was a quick kiss).
I think I have always just moved close enough so that I sent the message that a kiss would be welcome. It just happens....with him, I can't tell if he likes me like that so I seem to place the invitation but he's never accepted it. Hmmmmm....I am going to get a glass of wine!!
Having spoke with Mr. Podcaster and Tadpole in depth on how Mr. Lawyer is so not for me. That I didn't even think that I was going to see him again....actually I kind of knew that I wasn't going to see him again unless he made an effort to come out to see me. I was debating to write him off totally, but that isn't my style. I figured I would see what happened. Reality, I am not into him. I really liked him as a friend but not even that much as a friend. I liked that attention. I didn't have the balls to put an end to it.
Well he leaves a five minute message on my machine how his wife is his best friend. that he can't stand looking at her and lying to her. That he just can't do it right now. That is it just the two of them, he loves her and he can't lie to her everyday. What?! He got a concscious...can't be!!
So, I laughed listening to the message as he went on and on how he is so torn because he really likes me and blah, blah, blah......how he is fantasizing about me blah, blah, blah..how he meant everything he said...blah, blah, blah
Bottom line.......the prick left a voice mail. I agree with what he said. I truly don't care, we are at different points in our lives and quite frankly, he does not have the moral ethics that I need in a person. I saw qualities of my husband that were turning my stomach. But a voice mail...how disrespectful....take it like a man!!!!! Say it to my face. Actually, I am not that upset.....it was funny listening to his diarhhea of the mouth. But I feel a little disrespected. And then he puts his IM on (I am the only one he IMS) like I would IM him today?!?!?
And then the Tadpole....I call him every damn day. we chat. The other day I said, please call me. I want to see that you really do care and that you want me to call like you say and you enjoy talking to me. Please, you make the call tomorrow and don't be a wise ass and not call. He knew it would get me in a tizzy if he didn't call. Guess what? He didn't call. I will call you tomorrow and tomorrow came and went. And today is halfway over and no call. I AM NOT CALLING!!!!!!!! TADPOLE!!!!!! I AM NOT CALLING!!! I am hurt that he knew how important it was to me and he knew I would be hurt and well he didn't call.
So..... $%#$%#$%....to all you frogs!! I am off to do some more work...I just had to stop and get this off my chest.
Talk to ya later!!
UPDATE: Blogger wasn't working so I couldn't post this this afternoon. Tadpole called (hee.hee). I toldt him about my post, he started laughing. gotta tell ya, he knows an important rule....when you don't know what to say, don't say anything. Drives me crazy when there is silence but he is smart. Because you may say the wrong thing....actually we had a good conversation. I do love talking to him. He keeps a smile on my face. I brought up today how we have never even kissed. We met twice for coffee, and never kissed. Interesting!! Today, we discussed where we should meet if we were to meet. Well, I am not touching that one with a ten foot pole. I told him to let me know what KIND of establishment we are going to meet at and I will find the place. Yeah...I will wait for his response. Strangely enough, I never attempted to kiss him. Now that I look back, I don't think I made the first move with any frogs (except Mr. Government who was so shy and that was a quick kiss).
I think I have always just moved close enough so that I sent the message that a kiss would be welcome. It just happens....with him, I can't tell if he likes me like that so I seem to place the invitation but he's never accepted it. Hmmmmm....I am going to get a glass of wine!!
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