Tonight as I sit here with a glass of wine, the Eagles Lyin Eyes comes on the radio. I can't help but feel a connection with that song. Yes, that's every girls dream.....white picket fence, a couple of kids, a dog, a loving marriage, and a decent life. How sad when the love is no longer in the marriage. How sad when you can't communicate with your spouse...
Tonight,I am at peace. I'm sure the wine is helping. Writing this blog has been a huge benefit for me emotionally. In some ways, it has been my savior. You all have been there with me on this rollercoaster of life. The emails that you've sent to make me smile when I am down....and I love when I can help you as well.
The internet amazes me. The way you can get to know someone who is so many miles away. Now I am not just talking about the phone and cybersex (come on, I am philosophical tonight). I am talking about some of the friends I have made as well. Yes, I have non sexual friends that I have made here.....in fact, many of you have never crossed the line and I guess you read my blog to see what its like from a female perspective.
I look back to the two years and I am amazed at how far I have come. In some ways, I have grown tremendously as a person. I am much more confidant with my sexuality, much more independent and even happier. When I entered this blog....scarily to say...I was desperate. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Where am I headed? I am not exactly sure. I had hoped at this point there would have been a happy ending to this blog. But that's okay...ironically because of this blog and my friends I've met---I have learned that I may never meet Mr. Married Prince Charming AND that is okay. I am actually okay with that and am discovering myself as an independent woman. I think each frog has added to the mix and has taught me something else. And each friend has been supportive and helped me leap over those hurdles.....
As for Mr. Long Distance Lover. Only time can tell where that will go. But right now, we are fulfilling a loneliness that existed in both our hearts. And that is making me happy....
Sorry guys, no sex tonight. The wine and a trashy love novel has made me more serene!!
XOXO
Showing posts with label cybersex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cybersex. Show all posts
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
I NEED TO........
FUCK! Oh yes, no doubt about it. It's been three weeks and I am about to explode. All this texting and back and forth sexual attraction with Long Distance Lover is really making me hot.
We are certainly a lot a like. Emotionally, we are looking for the same fulfillment which makes it pretty easy to know what the other person needs. The things he says just feels so good. He will text me that he can't stop thinking about me. Tell me how intoxicating I am. How he's wild about me..etc.etc.
Told a childhood friend today that I was planning on meeting him. She was shocked to hear I was going to BE with him the first time we met. I guess because we have been talking back and forth so much...I feel like I know him forever. the ethical thing is to wait....however, I can't. I really feel a physical and mental connection with him.
The distance...the distance is really tough. And realistically, that means we shouldn't give up our other lovers. But you know me...I am not the best at sharing (although I am getting much better). He;s seeing his lover on Friday or Saturday. I was shocked to see how it bothered me and I was so mad at myself. Practically..we've never met...PRactically...we are far away from each other. Practically...it shouldn't matter if we have other lovers. Realistically--I don't like to share!! So I am not going to talk to him for a few days.....yes, I am going into denial.....not think about him with her.
Okay, here is a weird thing.....tonight as I was sitting at the computer and thinking about how Mr Prize and I related very well....but mentally, Long Distance Lover is getting close to how I felt about Soulmate Chris. That total connection. That total desire to talk with him continually. That feeling that my heart was smiling when we were on the phone. And just as I was thinking that...who sends me an IM....SOULMATE CHRIS!!!!! We havent really spoken in months. We started to talk and well one thing led to another. He told me about his two women (since me) and well, I kinda told him I was having fun.
We talked....we even talked about our sexual encounter that he made me cry. We teased and talked and I laughed...he always makes me laugh. And I was soooooo glad to know that while I was still sexually attracted to him....that Soulmate thing was not there as deep. Yeah, he will be my friend for life. He helped me through tough times and he still knows how to make me laugh. But that intense, out of control....soulmate thing wasn't there. Much healthier now...
He was telling me how horny he was. Now if you remember....he is very, very well endowed. Yes, I have to say in the Girth department...he is hung like a stud (or so I vaguely remember). "Let me see" I said to him. And so his webcam was on.....
Now, to my surprise...I forgot just how fucking big he was. His cock is so damn thick...it took my breath away for a second. Wow, I said. Yeah, I had to give him the credit where credit was due. I haven't seen a thick, thick cock like this since I dated this guy in College (it didn't fit at first). Well, feeling like I needed to get my mind off of Long Distance Guy....I played with Soulmate Chris a little until he came. I want to see you again..he said... that would be nice...I said. And we agreed we'd talk again soon.
Comfort Lovers seems to bw this weeks theme. I think I just don't have the desire to find a new frog. Long Distance Lover is keeping me mentally happy (and horny). And the old familiars....are also what I need. I have no desire to search for someone new right now. I am definitely just playing a little with the familiar frogs and enjoying Long Distance Lover.
Mr. Navigator text me yesterday. "I can't stop thinking about you....I really want to see you. How about next Monday?" "I got a date already, I told him". Change it he said....Nope I said...sorry. He flies around the world....and is actually going to be in Europe the week after that. I said to him "you want me....you change your schedule". Now I know, you may be thinking how ridiculous for me to say BUT I am tired of squeezing in between Italy, China and the States. So.....re-work it if you want me." And he said he would call me back and try to move a meeting to the following week and not fly out for three days. Hmmm.....we will see...I'd be impressed if he moved his business trip just to see me....
So that's whats cooking in Secret Lovers Lane. A possible Married Prince Charming, some MIA Frogs, some familiar frogs that make me happy (Navigator, Chris, CG and of course Tadpole)....... AND all these men and.....
I AM SO DAMN HORNY!!! I feel like my clit may explode...I'm wet, juicy and my clit is engorged...with no relief in site. Sigh....I need some hands on me soon. I need a warm cock inside of me....sigh...looks like the old vibrator is going to have to make his appearance tonight for some relief.
Sweet Wet Dreams!!
We are certainly a lot a like. Emotionally, we are looking for the same fulfillment which makes it pretty easy to know what the other person needs. The things he says just feels so good. He will text me that he can't stop thinking about me. Tell me how intoxicating I am. How he's wild about me..etc.etc.
Told a childhood friend today that I was planning on meeting him. She was shocked to hear I was going to BE with him the first time we met. I guess because we have been talking back and forth so much...I feel like I know him forever. the ethical thing is to wait....however, I can't. I really feel a physical and mental connection with him.
The distance...the distance is really tough. And realistically, that means we shouldn't give up our other lovers. But you know me...I am not the best at sharing (although I am getting much better). He;s seeing his lover on Friday or Saturday. I was shocked to see how it bothered me and I was so mad at myself. Practically..we've never met...PRactically...we are far away from each other. Practically...it shouldn't matter if we have other lovers. Realistically--I don't like to share!! So I am not going to talk to him for a few days.....yes, I am going into denial.....not think about him with her.
Okay, here is a weird thing.....tonight as I was sitting at the computer and thinking about how Mr Prize and I related very well....but mentally, Long Distance Lover is getting close to how I felt about Soulmate Chris. That total connection. That total desire to talk with him continually. That feeling that my heart was smiling when we were on the phone. And just as I was thinking that...who sends me an IM....SOULMATE CHRIS!!!!! We havent really spoken in months. We started to talk and well one thing led to another. He told me about his two women (since me) and well, I kinda told him I was having fun.
We talked....we even talked about our sexual encounter that he made me cry. We teased and talked and I laughed...he always makes me laugh. And I was soooooo glad to know that while I was still sexually attracted to him....that Soulmate thing was not there as deep. Yeah, he will be my friend for life. He helped me through tough times and he still knows how to make me laugh. But that intense, out of control....soulmate thing wasn't there. Much healthier now...
He was telling me how horny he was. Now if you remember....he is very, very well endowed. Yes, I have to say in the Girth department...he is hung like a stud (or so I vaguely remember). "Let me see" I said to him. And so his webcam was on.....
Now, to my surprise...I forgot just how fucking big he was. His cock is so damn thick...it took my breath away for a second. Wow, I said. Yeah, I had to give him the credit where credit was due. I haven't seen a thick, thick cock like this since I dated this guy in College (it didn't fit at first). Well, feeling like I needed to get my mind off of Long Distance Guy....I played with Soulmate Chris a little until he came. I want to see you again..he said... that would be nice...I said. And we agreed we'd talk again soon.
Comfort Lovers seems to bw this weeks theme. I think I just don't have the desire to find a new frog. Long Distance Lover is keeping me mentally happy (and horny). And the old familiars....are also what I need. I have no desire to search for someone new right now. I am definitely just playing a little with the familiar frogs and enjoying Long Distance Lover.
Mr. Navigator text me yesterday. "I can't stop thinking about you....I really want to see you. How about next Monday?" "I got a date already, I told him". Change it he said....Nope I said...sorry. He flies around the world....and is actually going to be in Europe the week after that. I said to him "you want me....you change your schedule". Now I know, you may be thinking how ridiculous for me to say BUT I am tired of squeezing in between Italy, China and the States. So.....re-work it if you want me." And he said he would call me back and try to move a meeting to the following week and not fly out for three days. Hmmm.....we will see...I'd be impressed if he moved his business trip just to see me....
So that's whats cooking in Secret Lovers Lane. A possible Married Prince Charming, some MIA Frogs, some familiar frogs that make me happy (Navigator, Chris, CG and of course Tadpole)....... AND all these men and.....
I AM SO DAMN HORNY!!! I feel like my clit may explode...I'm wet, juicy and my clit is engorged...with no relief in site. Sigh....I need some hands on me soon. I need a warm cock inside of me....sigh...looks like the old vibrator is going to have to make his appearance tonight for some relief.
Sweet Wet Dreams!!
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