Suck Me Back In

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A Sex Filled Weekend

The one thing the new guy is teaching me is how to relax. We spend hours upon hours in bed just holding each other and rubbing each others backs and massaging each other. He likes to cuddle!! We went out with a friend of mine and her boyfriend, which was something new...and then we came back to my house and relaxed. Nothing like some wine and well, we did something I haven't done in a long time...I got stoned! I was never into it as a younger person but I actually really like it. It makes my mind go free. And I giggle and giggle and giggle.

We lied in my bed and he began kissing me and I could feel his cock was hard. We quickly undressed and had some good ass sex. Deep thrusts....very deep and fast and hard....then he likes to cum on me...and I will fingerpaint with his cum all over my body. With the cum on my face, he kissed me and we smooshed the cum all over our faces. It was hot!

Next was my tub. There is nothing like my tub. With romantic music playing, the jets swirling, a bottle of wine, the candles burning, the moonlight shining in....its a recipe for romance. And how hot a person looks in candlelight and the reflection of the water. Our kisses are unexplainable...they are intense, they are deep, they make me melt into his soul. And he feels it too. There are no words to explain our kisses, they are slow and deep yet fast and intense....we kissed for 40 minutes....craziness. And i took pictures of us kissing and you can see the passion...WOW...To my amazement that just from our kisses, in 103 degree temperature, after just having sex less than an hour before---his cock was hard as a rock. And he was shocked too! Just kissing and sucking on my nipples, makes his cock hard. He loves how pointy my nipples get. He tells me over and over that he hasn't ever seen a finer set of nipples.

Getting out of the tub, we collapsed in the bed. And after some giggles and watching tv, I can't help but start playing with his cock again....but he's like nope, its my turn to eat you. The man kills me...he is such a male version of me. He listens to my moans, he listens to my ahhhs and he pays close attention to what makes me get wet and what makes my clit get all engorged and my muscles pulsate. And just like I do with a blow job, he choreographs the perfect pussy eating. He knows a nibble on my clit with some circles with his tongue, some licks, light circles, fast tongue action, slow tongue action. It's a challenge, it's control....and it kills me that he knows just how to make me cum. Oh I love it but he is so smug that I attempt to hold out....and he laughs because he can feel my clit about to explode, he can feel my body shaking....come on baby, let it go....and he goes in for one more nibble and lick of my clit and I explode....a wave of orgasms as my body thrashes on the bed. And then he fucks me again....its mindblowing.

Five times in 15 hours is pretty damn good. But I do have to teach him to make love. He's petrified, a big step but I like it slow and hot too....and he's willing to learn and we've gone 3/4 but its going to take awhile for him to get that slow, hot, orgasmic sex. But he will.

We were in bed till 2:30pm, watching tv, I love Lucy and just talking, cuddling and laughing. We slept two hours the whole night. Our little sexfests are hot. The laughs we have, the things I think only we would find funny--he's got that same warped humor I have so its hysterical.

Our big joke since we met was that every woman his whole life has tried to rein him in, make him more responsible....but he loves to have fun. Our big joke from day one was that there is no woman who would ever get him to sign up for online banking. At 4AM, totally exhausted--I told him it was time...Yes, I was going to get him to sign up for online banking. He was laughing so hard, its like a major commitment for him..lol And so I sent him out in the cold to get his checkbook and we signed him up. at 6AM, I rolled over and cuddled into him as woke him up with a nice blow job to start the morning off right.....but before I went down to his cock, I whispered...good morning Mr. Online banker.....he laughed and got the best bj of his life!

So, I am relaxed. I am okay with us. He hasn't been sitting online and i haven't been on my online either. It's been nice that we are enjoying each other with no other distractions. As he put it.....we fuck until my cock is going to fall off. do you think I even want to think about another woman after our weekends?!? Aaahh, now there's a plan.....keep screwing till he begs me to stop because his cock is going to fall off.

I am enjoying us. Is it perfect? OMG, it is so headed for destruction for soooo many reasons but for now...I am happy and he is too. Yeah! Don't think is my motto and today I am sooooooooo not thinking!

Brazilian, Landing Strip or Just Trimmed?

Mr. Astronaut was suppose to come over this morning for some great sex. I cleared my morning and couldn't wait. I was so excited yesterday that I sent a note....Brazilian, Landing Strip or just trimmed? Unfortunately, sex has been so unfrequent that I can give him all those options! BUT I didn't hear back. Not a good sign. That usually means something came up with work. Grr...In the bath, I knew he was cancelling.


And 7AM this morning I get the text. I am wrapped up today, not sure I can get away. Will probably have to make it later in the week. Sorry. UGH!!!!! I spent the day yesterday straightening up the entire house with still more to go. I went with the landing strip and now there is nothing!!! Now, I know he can't control his job. Some stupid ass criminal decides to make a move and caused me to not get screwed today. I know I should be understanding, he's probably working on some big undercover drug deal or its something to do with homeland security (I am guessing...his job heats up and he travels funky places). But they couldn't fucking wait one day to make a move? They had to do it on a Sunday, the day before I am suppose to be getting laid. Quite frankly, I want to kick that person's ass right now. Excuse me Mr. Criminal...your timing sucks...I am horny, I am bitchy and right now I want to personally kick your ass. GRRRRR...he will never tell me but I always wonder when there is some huge security thing going down that I see on the news if he is part of it.

Mr. Porsche sent me some work analysis this morning. No note, no mention of my vicious note...I did my professional evaluation and sent the results back. no note, no words just my report. And now I decided to just throw myself into bed. I have so much work but I didn't plan to be doing it right now. Pout. yes, I am pouting. Cranky, cranky...I am going to throw myself into bed and pull the covers over my head.

A Shot Of Reality

Mr. Astronaut has been keeping a little distance. His normal banter throughout the day had stopped. He claimed he has a lot going on in his mind. I had a couple of hours today and told him to come over...he couldn't get over. Okay, I am feeling a little distance.

I just want to fuck him. I just want to play. He's not someone I want to get serious with just sexually serious with. Meeting in fun places, last minute, popping in mornings to fuck me before work. However, Once again, a man who thinks he knows it all. Finally I say to him. Okay, what's up? Don't pretend there is nothing. I know you for eight months now and this is a little bullshit lines you are feeding me. Are you not into us anymore?

What do you mean by us? he writes back

"Us? You and me and us fooling around"....and then lighting bolts go off in my head and I am feeling a deja vu again. Another man who is afraid of closeness. Another man who is reading my mind and emotions. Grrrr....and now a rush comes over me. Is this going to be another man who pushes me away everytime HE feels that I am getting too close.

"I have no intention of falling for you. We are just having fun."
"but you will" he answers
Cocky bastard so damn sure I will fall in love with him? "How do you know that you won't fall for me?"
"I won't. I have real control"
Aaaaah...."So if I get close to you...you will run?"
"Definitely" was his reply.

And so I began to laugh to myself. I sure know how to pick them. I sure know how to find every man who is afraid of emotion, closeness, desire. And as you can imagine my head starts to spin.

"You know you are missing out on so much. When I fool around, I jump in with two feet. No expectations of a future just enjoy the high with no walls. that's what makes it so hot. The boundaries and walls are down. Reality is, when its over, it hurts really bad but it hurts whether you give your all or you don't. You just move on. I want the high....I want that high of lust and passion. I am sorry you feel you have to have all those walls."

"I am used to disappointing people. I gotta go. ttyl" he wrote. Wow....here we go. I personally think he is the one who is feeling more and it is scaring him. I am not even in that place. He's a nice guy, I lust him but please..I am not loving him, I am enjoying the sexual contact and the foreplay. If he only knew the connections that I have had. This one hasn't even hit level 2. And I realized now, he stopped talking about threesomes the last few days since we were first together. Maybe he is afraid of the attachment or something?!

My final words, an hour later. "I think we should go back to our original plan. fuck each others brains out, spend two to three hours fulfilling each other and then we can move on". There was no response from him although I know he read it.

So what the hell is going on here?