The Hot Man Cruising Next TO ME!

Okay, I am convinced that with the daffodils and the crocus--comes the blooming of everyones dormant hormones. Yes, the weather is making everyone act a little risky.

On my way to work today, I'm blasting the radio, the sun roof is open and I have Fever of the Flava blasting!! Yes, my blonde hair is flying in the wind and I have my cool sunglasses on. Glossy pink lipstick and I'm looking pretty good (for an old lady--lol)).

As I'm cruising down the road singing about coochy....I look in my rear view mirror and I see this convertible zooming in and out. Aah! someone else with Spring Fever, I'm thinking. As he gets closer, I glance over....one hot man is in that car. Damn he is extremely good looking. Nice suit, hot sunglasses and a fine car. I glanced over and then ignore him. He was trying to get me to look again as his car went the same speed as mine but I refused. Then he started slowing up, speeding up, slowing up to get my attention..I started to laugh and I smiled.

I was getting off the next exit...so the fun was over but he got off the next exit too. So now we are face to face at the light. "Hey gorgeous, what's your name??" "Cheri" I giggled. "Let's grab a coffee, there's a Starbucks up ahead." Do I?? Oh my, now I am picking up men on the road. It's not bad enough that I pick them up on the internet but now I am meeting strange men on the road and thinking about fucking them.
I pulled over in the Starbucks.....BUT I couldn't. As tempting as it was, I couldn't. So when he pulled up next to me, I said "I just wanted to see the hot man up close that I saw on the road. I can't have coffee, I'm married." "So am I, what a coincidence, see we already have a lot in common". "Thank you, you are so sweet......but I can't." "Okay gorgeous, here's my number if you change your mind and want to grab a coffee". And we both drove away. I saw him zooming up ahead.........oh man........he drove into the hospital. Why do I think we are definitely going to meet again. PLEASE, let him be the janitor, the tech guy, the administrator.........not a doctor.

Well do I need to tell you that I walked around the entire day fantasizing about this man. I kept seeing his sexy smile and those sunglasses. I kept imagining that I just climbed onto his lap and we did it right there in his car. Me on top riding him wildly..Our body in rhythm, the juices flowing, and then, we both would cum. I would kiss him gently on the cheek and just get out of the car, get into my own and drive off. A hot, wet, orgasmic few moments that would just leave me totally satisfied. Is it cheating if you don't know someones name?? (you don't have to answer that one--lol)

So now, I am going to be keeping my eyes open for this man. And now I keep staring at his number. The smart thing is to throw it away. But I can't...I keep seeing him in my head. Damn, I will not survive the Spring at this rate. I have been pulsating all day---I need to take up a hobby!!!

ME?!?! A Bondage Queen??

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101 Things Not To Say During Sex

Well I was looking for my weekly jokes that I send to Mr. Government and I came across this one list. I had to share, it made me giggle. Was in the emergency room today...my little one decided it would be fun to swallow a piece of aluminum foil and then start choking.....to proceed to throw up blood. Oh yes, I have aged today. I am headed for the tub. You know I will be up all night checking her. So it's days like this that I think...I wanted to become a parent because!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?

I so need an escape....I need a vacation...I need to have a wild sex session with a hot boy toy!! What's even scarier, is that days like today are feeling so normal lately that I am in a relatively good mood right now..My best friend was with e today, she knows about my little secret life. She doesn't approve but she doesnt judge (she' s Miss prim and proper). So today I said to her, I need to escape and she shocked me by answering "Cheri, you need one of your lovers to fuck you like you've never been fucked"! WE both sat in the hospital and laughed until we cried. Now that is a best friend! Enjoy...


101 THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING SEX

1. But everybody0 looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out. Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. Q: You can cook, too right? A: Whaddaya think I'm doin'?
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Er... Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer."
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin, too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

Presentation, Penetration and Almost Got Caught AGAIN!

Okay, you guys are killing me! I don't know if I am more excited that you are behind me with the presentation or the penetration. Actually, I would be more excited with the penetration from behind....you know how I adore doggie style.

The presentation went very well, the penetration..........I am so horny. No penetration is so long that I am almost tempted to screw my husband. You know I read a book recently called the Accidental Virgin...how a girl was desperately trying to get laid within a week (before her 1 year non laid status) and all the comical errors that occurred. A very funny book. All right, I am not even close but I am so horny. It's been awhile...all these men and I am dying to get laid. Something doesn't seem right here.

So, I knew this was going to happen. I really almost got caught this week. Actually, I think I win the award for dumb cheater. Weeks and weeks ago, I had asked for a check from one of my affiliate programs. It was the official first Cheri Fucking Fund money!! Yeah! However, when I asked for it, I wasn't working yet so I was home to get the mail every day. Of course, it showed up yesterday. And I was where ....doing my presentation so guess who opened my mail. Oh yes!! And guess who the affiliate was............Ashley Madison. Let's see the tag line is "For woman want to have an affair and the men who want them". Yes, my husband went to the website.

The conversation went......"Cheri you got an affiliate check. Who is Ashley Madison Agency?" "Oh they represent a bunch of single sites, I have them on one of my blogs, Why?" Now my heart is beating out of my chest. "Which blog?" Think...think on your feet. "Oh, it's one that talks about our dysfunctional family life we have". I can't tell him about Rendezvous Radio or my blog!!!

You know what's scary.....I think he was more interested that I got a check than what it was about. I think he's thinking, wow, maybe we can set up more sites and get a bigger check. I'm happy that he didn't question me more. The check wasn't a lot but enough to start him thinking. So I quickly convinced him that it must have been a typo....the amount was wrong.

So this really sucks. Mostly, because now the first check of Cheri's Secret Fucking Fund is not a secret. And, I have to open a PO Box. Can't take any chances that he will see anything else by accident. Once, I was able to hopefully (with care to be super careful) talk my way out of it. Next time, it's going to set up red flags.

So this was twice this week, I almost got caught. Once my kids friend picked up my phone and the Gyno was on the other end. And now this..so I am being very carefuly with computer time this week.

Well, no podcasting tonight. Don't want to take any chances. So I am going to go take a bath. Yes, I am back into my baths big time. The magic of those jets pulsating on my clit is just an orgasmic thought. I'm telling you.....get a jacuzzi jet........it's heaven! I'm sure it feels just as good for men!!
I

Miss Blogging, I'm Hornier than Ever!!

So where is Cheri?!

Kind of like where is Waldo?!?

Actually, I so badly want to blog....I have so much bottled up inside of me....but I can't.

Starting a this new job, I need to make a good impression on the boss, so I have been putting together a huge presentation for tomorrow. But I do miss you!!! I am doing fine, actually hornier than ever! Got Mr. Government texting me AND I got a problem with the Gyno. He's turning into stalking material AND I almost got busted last night because my kids' friend picked up my phone. But, I will get into that this weekend when I can relax AND return to my podcasting and blogging!

But here are some cartoons to put a smile on your face.
Luscious Kisses to you!!!
Cheri

Watching Him On a Webcam--Very Hot!

Last week was insane, I was going to report my fun experience with Curious George and well all the shit hit the fan...so tonight, I decided was a good night to report.

CG and I are good friends. I love talking with him. We have this great friendship and I enjoy our chats very much. CG used to be quite the webcammer....but he stopped for awhile. We were talking about it one day and now he seems to be back into the fun.

It's such a wild thing because he's just sitting at the computer and I can see his pants and part of his arm. It's as if he has no idea that the camera accidentally went on (but of course he does because we are typing back and forth). As we are typing I can see his hand move down to his pants and he begins to rub his pants.....it;s such a hot feeling to know that as you are typing to someone, it is turning them on.

So we are just chatting and I am watching as his cock is becoming outlined within his pants....he opens the pants and his underwear (cute boxes) is there.....I get to watch him strip and take his pants off...back to that voyeurism position again....only a hand and now I can see the entire outline of his cock. I found myself wanting the head of his penis to stick out of his boxers.....and with a little enticements....there he was...the penis head is sticking out now. He touches the tip and starts playing with it...quite the turn on it is. Now he takes his entire cock out....I love watching a man masturbate.....it is truly a turn on to see how he handles his cock. And each guy has their own technique. Some fast, some slow, some consistent rubbing, some playful. I am totally intrigued by watching a man play with his cock.

In some ways, I am jealous I think. Men take such a care and admiration when they are masturbating. You can see they have their prize possession in their hands and they treat it like gold...their jewels!! It's pretty hot. So anyway, CG has this technique, where his thumb gently rubs the inside of his shaft up and down....then he'll move to playing with the head...

The best was the glistening of the pre-cum on his penis tip as it reflected off the webcam....it was so clear....the cum was just on the tip of his cock. Very nice. Well he was just about to give me a real show when my kids starting screaming. Damn, I couldn't finish. All worked up and now I had to go. He even had lights set up. Something about seeing a guy touching his cock is just so hot. Seeing it grow larger and thicker.......mmmmmmmmmm...delicious.. I love cocks. They are so inviting.

So now my question is.....I love watching a guy on the webcam. They know I am watching them so it it truly not voyeurism. It's not dogging because that is in person watching two people going at it. So is there a name for enjoying watching a man masturbate (besides from crazy?) Does it have a specific fetish name??

Oh well, if it doesn't the fetish is....Cheri enjoys watching cocks get hard and seeing them cum. Oh my, I am so horny now....I have to go take a bath....a nice long bath with the fizzle ball I bought. Relaxing! And I am so wet right now from re-living the encounter, it's a must that my vibrator join me tonight. Of course the waterproof one!
Sweet Wet Dreams Love!!

Getting Paid To Flirt With Doctors

Yes, I found a job. And yes, I am being paid to go to doctors offices and flirt with them, bring them silly promotional stuff AND take them out to lunch.. In actuality, doesn't sound that much different than looking through all the dysfunctional frogs BUT now I get paid to do it and it's with doctors.

Is that not hysterical???? Okay, there is a little more to the position BUT initially that is all my job entails. Actually, it is a great opportunity to truly grow the company and in turn hopefully market it so that I reap the benefits as well.

So I am very excited about it. And the good news, I will still be able to blog, podcast and do my website!!! What else could a girl want?!?

Sweet wet dreams!

And then there was ME...........

Hi! Yes, I took a couple of days off. A couple of days to contemplate my life, enjoy my family and attempt to straighten my house. A couple of days to think about what I really wanted and to tie up some lose ends. To look around and see what the fuck my life is. It's not where I want it to be and I realize that I need to take control. My dear friend Zorro, continually tells me to make my own fate. Not to get bitter that the hubby is disgusting me in so many ways--that I should take charge. In a way I guess I am old fashion--it amazes me how he can't want to provide for his family. For years, he's relied on others as a crutch (including me)--I am mystified that he doesn't have the provider instinct that every other man I have met has.

But its time to focus on me go back to my wants, my desires, my goals. Search deep inside of myself for what I am looking for and not want my Mr. Married Prince Charming to be someone I settle for. I actually woke up on Saturday morning....relieved. Yes, I wasn't distraught about Chris' friendship, Mr. Government, the Gyno, Booty Caller etc. etc.... I was actually free, I wasn't expecting any text messages, calls, emails from any of them AND it felt really, really good to my surprise.

Saying that, the Gyno is out. Yup! Spoke to him at length on Friday. He is still lusting over his ex-affair and trying to sort these things out. The truth is, I don't want to deal with that. Sadly, he thinks our conversation went great (Emailing me after to say he can't wait to meet me)....I am going with my first instinct....not going to work, at least now and I don't want to waste my energy.

Mr. Government....it's not going to happen again. And this one, well I'm sad about. I am very sexually attracted to him.......did I say that I am very sexually attracted to him? He's hot. He's got an amazing body, he's tan, muscular, Italian, he's gorgeous. And the thought of his cherry ass and his broad shoulders makes me all wet. Yes, I dream about him bending me over again and again and again. Actually he is the one who constantly claims he thinks about it all the time (but I doubt it). I hit a nerve, telling him I was continuing my search but that's life. Can't leave me hanging. I do confess, I would jump back into bed with him in a nanosecond for the orgasms I had with him and to squeeze that cherry ass.

And Mr. Backgammon well I am convinced that he is tied in with the mafia or he is a terrorist. Something is very dangerous and mysterious about him. He's got that old world charm about him. He's extremely educated and knows a lot about various businesses. He's extremely street smart, romantic, good talker and charmer and very controlling in a subtle way. He can't be budged or manipulated (which you know drives me crazy) and I find myself attracted to his flirting. He keeps pushing for us to meet but I don't want to end up a case on the Forensic Files.

Yes, I am being daring, destructive and stupid at times. But I'm not insane. The other guys, I knew their history, their jobs, their cell phone numbers and their addresses. This one, I know none of those.

And then there is the hysterical realization that when he was six years old...I lost my virginity. I was 17 years old when he was 6!!!!! Oh my, that is just a scary thought. It's like fucking one of the kids I babysat for. I almost drove off the road when I thought about that fact.

But I admit to be drawn back to him and his sexuality. I think its his European ways and charms. He says he wants me to come work for him, that we'd have the best time. Some work, some play...he'd rent an apartment near the office for us......isn't fantasyland wonderful! Scarily, he did say he could see us in a 4 poster bed and he described something very close to my fantasy of being tied up....I was immediately wet!

So, I am doing fine thank you to all who emailed and were worried about me. A little more time looking for a job, a little more time concentrating on my fantasies, my goals and probably a lot more time masturbating.

Hope your ready to deal with a lot more fantasies than realities the next few weeks......(and a little more about my sex toys)!
Sweet Wet Dreams!

The Perfect Secret Lover

Yes, we picked the time and place. We are set. The day is finally here. We are going to meet at our special place. Our little hideaway from the world. I am excited all day, I feel knots in my stomach, I can't wait to see him. I am getting wet just from the anticipation of our meeting.

I get to the hotel room, our usual room, I knock our special knock and he opens the door. He just pulls me in and pushes me up against the wall. With one hand on my hair and the other on my cheek, we are in the most sensual kiss. We are re-fueling each other. I can feel my body re-fueling with all energy......his lips are succulent, his cock is hard. I can feel it on my leg. The bulge is throbbing through his pants....he wants me and I want him.

This is our secret place--the place where all our inhibitions are gone. We are just there to pleasure each other. Sometimes it will be a pure fuck, hard and intense........then we will let our souls make love to each other. Yes, we will role play here, we have done light bondage, we have both been dominant/submissive, we have tried every Kama Sutra position....we trust each other and our only goal is that we are both happy. That we are both fulfilled. Sex Toys, Doggie, Anal, love dust, cam corders.....whatever........it is our place.

And, we are best friends. We talk about what we like, we talk about museums, travels, music, the beach, the latest Sopranos episode. We are "Secret Lovers", we are friends with fringe benefits, we are happy.

And when we aren't together, our thoughts may linger about the other. Send a quick email, drop a quick text or just leave a voice mail to say "Hey sweetie, hope you are having a great day".

And we continue to live our separate lives. We continue to have our families, our everyday life BUT now that emptiness inside is not there. That secret rendezvous life we lead fulfills that emptiness and brings us back to life. Yes, we are fulfilled in a dysfunctional way but it feels so right. So we have our family, we have our friends, we have the school sports, meetings, dinners etc...... but we also have our secret escape world.

And when we are apart. We respect each other, we enjoy each other and we accept the other for who they are. WE don't want to change each other but enjoy each other as we are. We're Friends, secret lovers, friends with fringe benefits! This is my idea of a perfect affair....does it exist?? Could it exist?? I am still waiting to find out....but if he's out there, it'll be worth the wait.

Sweet Wet Dreams and may all your dream come true!!

Secret Suckers Lane is more like it!

Well today is one of those days that you just wonder. How fucked up are we all? We teach our children to be respectful, to be kind, "to do unto others as we would want done to you". I do not tolerate any teasing of others in my home. My children (and their friends) know they can do almost anything here (within reason of course)...I'm the cool mom but DON'T treat people with no respect.

And I am the same! I worry about the world. I care if your sick, I always want to leave things on a good note AND well guess the guys I run into haven't learned that yet. I am MYSTIFIED by my day today. The lesson to be learned. Be a Bitch , that's what they want. Well I guess I always care too much....I have to stop, I really do AND that is sad.

Booty Caller- called to confirm lunch for tomorrow--he was just fucking rude on the phone. He left a message apologizing but you know what, no lunch dear. You are now going to have to kiss ass if you want a friendship (and that's all we will ever be).

Mr. Backgammon-mystery man-disappearring re-appearing. I don't have patience

Mr. Navigator- see last post - Asshole!

Mr. Government- enough already. Stop text messaging me! Leave me alone. "I so enjoyed us, I miss us, still feel guilty". Well my look on it--we screwed each others brains out. It was fucking amazing, it was hot, it was delicious. I crave the orgasms you gave me....I dream about them. And we already did it. So if we were to get caught, guess what, the answer. Did you cheat? Still the same--yes How many people? One (doesn't change) How many times? A couple (guess what--our spouses will probably have flipped out by this time and never gotten to this question). So it doesn't matter if we keep doing it. Please, just leave me alone!!

Now the killer. Chris, my soulmate. One of his parent's were going in for heart surgery. He wrote me to tell me. I wished him well and said I wish I could be there for him. Asked him to tell me when the surgery was over. I texted him to see how things were going, I said I'm starting to worry...hope everything is okay. He's my friend, I know he's distraught. So it's been two days and I have heard nothing. A little while ago, he disconnected his mobile IM. Did his parent pass away? I am so concerned but he couldn't even send me a note to say everything is okay, its' not....MYSTIFIED... Obviously, he doesn't want me to know. So why tell me? Why did you get furious last time when they were hospitalized and you said I didn't ask enough? Now I ask and that's not good.

I am so fed up today. I care too much but that is me! I am like that with everyone. I can't be mean (only when I am very angry but then I calm down). So do I change?? Do I become a bitch?? Sigh....wow three posts already today and not about anything I originally was going to post about.

Next post.......the perfect Secret Rendezvous!
And thanks Hale for the pix--yes, that is me with all the wolves that surround me. I was waiting for the perfect day to post it!!

So Tempted To Post His Penis!!

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Knock Knock Torture

Yup! Thanks to T and Jim's meanie remarks....I am posting a Knock Knock Torture Post this morning!!! Enjoy!!

First I like Hale's he sent to me so here it is:
Knock Knock
Who's there
Cheri
Cheri who?
Cheri my bed!! ( of course)

Knock Knock......Who's There?........Norma Lee.....Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I would be telling you about my hot camming session but T and Jim didn't like my knock, knock jokes!!

Knock Knock.......Who's There?..........Boo.............Boo Who?
Boo hoo, they made me cry by being so mean!!

Knock Knock.........Who's There........Ya..............Ya Who?
What Mr. Navigator said after my hand job!

Knock Knock.........Who's There.........Dishes..........Dishes Who?
Dishes the stupidest post I've ever done!

Knock Knock..............Who's There.........Orange.........Orange Who?
Orange you glad that the torture is over and this was my last knock knock joke!!!

Well I will be back later........gotta do some work....but I will be back with details of my webcam night with Curious George, my heart torturing text messages with Mr. Government AND update on the Gyno! So go to work, have a stressless day and return to relax with me tonight (wow..sounds like my podcast--LOL) Have a great day....say at least one knock knock joke today to someone !

And of course, a little Nikki-Knocker for all you guys to enjoy! Damn those are some knockers....your penis can get lost in them!!

You do What for a living?!? And some knock, knock jokes!

It's been a very strange few days for me. Men are coming out of the woodwork YET I am still unfulfilled....a huge void. I'm having fun, but I really want the passion....

A lot of weird things have happened the past few days....but the one that tops the cake is the latest professional man I have met. I think he even beats Divorce Attorney. Actually, I met him when Mr. Government and I were really hot and heavy. So I wrote him a nice note saying...I'm involved. Two days ago, he decided to check up on me and we started talking. He is very nice and funny!! You know how I like a caring and funny guy. So I ask him what do you do----- I'm a Gynecologist.

Okay, this was too much for me. I was laughing so hard.,....only me..I meet a guy who looks at vaginas and fingers woman all day! So, I always wanted to know how a Gyno is into sex. It's his job. Are all vaginas a like? Do you get turned on by them? How do you get turned on when you are fingering woman all day? I had to know and what a perfect opportunity. AND, why are you looking for another vagina?? Isn't it like the baker who can't eat sweets anymore because he's around them all day? Well, he claims that passion plays a key role and the vagina takes on a regular role. "All vaginas start to look the same after awhile when its about business"

Knowing I was a little apprehensive of the gyno thing...he promised he wouldn't hold up an Olympic sign and give my vagina a rating. I was laughing so hard the tears were flowing. He's very funny. Again, not Prince Charming but funny.

Mr. Government and I have been text messaging back and forth pretty heavy the past week. Actually, he almost busted me last night at 2AM. He has this horrible habit of text me at that hour..but hubby was up last night and I was sleeping. He woke me and said....why is your phone ringing...what is that noise. I knew without even looking at it and I was so sleepy I was afraid what was going to come out of my mouth. "Crap, I must have set the schedule for 2AM instead of 2PM to be home for the kids". Whew...it worked. Okay, if you want to know...I was telling him a knock, knock joke. So we were going back and forth so here are the three I have told him so far:

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Anita?
Anita who?
Anita orgasm or a latte from this hot government guy I know

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Ophelia ?
ophelia who?
Ophelia all over my lips, my neck, my breasts and its making me hot

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pencil?
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down as soon as I get your ass into that hotel!!

Stupid but fun!! Life is so bizarre, but you gotta keep smiling.

Damn, the pix won't load....I'll try again later.

Cheri's New Job- A Cook For The Local Strip Joint

No, I'm not taking the job but I had to share this with you. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in my pants.

I come down to the computer and start searching the Internet Job Opportunities. Still haven't found "the ultimate position" that best fits my needs but that is a whole other post.

Anyway, as I am doing a search-- I came across this local strip joint's name.( Of course if you didn't know it, it doesn't give it away by the name-it actually sounds like a nice Outdoor Cafe). They were looking for a cook. Honestly, I was surprised to find that they even sold food. I guess when your horny, you are also hungry. Need something in your mouth!! Curiously, I clicked on the ad to see what it said.

"40 seat newly renovated Victorian sized Dining Room, VIP Lounge and Nite Club looking for a cook for our fine establishment".

Okay, I don't know about you but I had to go back and make sure I was reading the right ad. "Victorian Dining Room" and strip joint just don't seem to fit in the same section of my brain....I wonder if anyone has ever walked into that place and said--"wow, what a fine victorian feel to this dining room." OH wait! Unless a girl names Victoria is doing pole dances in the middle--I doubt it....WAIT it gets better.

Requirements: Some High School Course work (I am not even going to comment on this), Confidentiality (a cook?!?) and Emotional Control!
Okay, at the emotional control stage I started dying. All I picture is problems with the cooks having erections and cumming in the food. I certainly wouldn't eat the Buffalo Wings with Blue Cheese Dressing in this fine establishment. Do you think they had problems with cooks attacking the dancers, penis' getting burned as they cooked? Oh man, emotional control as a requrement of a cook.

Now the pay: $600 a week. Cook will participate in an incentive bonus system based upon gross food sales. Opportunity to make an additional $600 per week.

Incentive bonus on food sales at a strip joint. Man you would have to be creative. This is one of the few times that food is probably at the bottom of the list for opening their wallets. Lap dances, liquor, dollar bills in G-strings all win over the Mozarella Sticks. Damn this cook better get creative. He better work with the dancers for this bonus. If I was the cook, I would have a special on Mozarella Sticks--buy a dish of 12 and have the opportunity to stick it on(in) a dancer. I would definitely insist on fruits and vegetables being added to the menu. Sell bananas and cucumbers.... hmmm......chocolate sundaes, Wet and Messy Foods!!

Maybe I should become the Marketing Manager over there.....now wouldn't that be a hoot. Well, I guess the cook job is not for me. An incentive program!!!! I am almost tempted to call just because I am dying to know what the program is in this fine Victorian style dining establishment!!

Cyber Friends and Friends With Fringe Benefits!

So as you might have caught on already. My date with Mr. Navigator went well. Once again, too well. The usual.....I had an amazing time, you are so hot, I feel guilty, --the "Need to Digest This" speech......followed the next day. While he is a really great guy, he's not worth the rollercoaster ride. I am not getting on this rollercoaster. Yes, I admit it, I was intrigued by him being a millionaire and so powerful. BUT reality, that isn't going to fill my void. So unless he can arrive to the conclusion that he can handle the affair......I'm not biting. I'm still on the Mr. Government rollercoaster. I know, I know..he should have been gone a long time ago BUT he was my first.

Truth is, from this whole affair thing, I am getting the most pleasure and fulfillment from the friends I have made. Isn't that funny? Now I am not saying that I would trade those orgasms I had with Mr. Government. I had forgotten what it was like to cum like that. IT was awesome!! But overall, its the friendships that are the best the most lasting and rewarding so far.

Stud Muffin always has something wonderful to say to make me smile. I get the warm and fuzzies when he writes me. Zorro, he has become my really, really good friend. We share so much together.....the Z''s have stopped because the friendship grew stronger and I really like that. Hey what's a few cybersex z's compared to a lasting friendship. Yeah, we may flirt and tease but it's more of a caring between us. Of course distance is a huge problem and that he is single!!!

And then there is Curious George. An unexpected but very nice surprise. Interesting friendship. He's educated, he's funny, he's sweet and well--he really cares what is going on in my life. A nice combination. Then of course there is that little sexual, exploring conversations that are quite attractive. He's into voyeurism (yummy, dangerous and fun). Yes, we are going to meet for lunch one day--our plan is for me to go to the ladies room and place my panties in an upscale stores little shopping bag AND then we have lunch (me with no undies on!!-lol). A little kinky, a little daring---just actually adding a little spice to a lunch with a friend! I am really looking forward to it.

And then there is Chris, my soulmate. After two weeks of vicious fighting and then two weeks of no contact. We've re-connected. He finally said he was sorry and never would ever want to hurt me. He did at the time but he does miss me (and I really missed him too). I think I've learned an important lesson so I am keeping my distance and not getting too close again. But I love talking to him. He gives me the warm fuzzies!!

So, here's a toast to Cyber Friendships and friends with fringe benefits!

Up And Down and The Next Rendezvous Radio Show is Done!!

Another roller coaster ride. And I love roller coasters, do not get me wrong. I am the designated parent in the area for the roller coaster. I love the thrill, the feeling of being totally free, the excitement, the adrenaline flowing.the rush. I love the front row...it feels so much more dangerous and free....wow....maybe I have been using it to compensate for the lack of hot sex and orgasms all these years?

I finished the next show yesterday!!! Yeah!!! Not tunes of research on sex but more my personal feelings (oh boy....a ranter).

-I spoke about my newest Nobel Prize Discovery--a sure fire way to get men to stop cheating
-pitfalls of cybersex
- a touch on Kama Sutra
- a song called Fever of the Flava...its hysterical
-reading of my poem Mental Masturbation
- and I decided (again) that I needed a break from men

Yesterday, was the first nicer day in a while--the weather got warmer and I think hormones were raging all over. Heard from Booty Caller, Mr. Government, Mr. Backgammon, Soulmate Chris, Divorce Attorney, Mr. Navigator...very weird day. Especially since I had written them off for the most part in my podcast earlier that day..LOL

"SO MANY MEN, YET NOT ONE MAN". Bizarre. Actually, the truth is like me, they can't let go.....can't commit to something more but can't let go totally. Amazingly Divorce Attorney is still pursuing, I'm blown away. I'm glad Chris and I are trying to start a new and Mr. Navigator--I'll tell you tonight but a typical day later note---I feel guilty..blah, blah, blah . I truly just want to find one man. One Prince Charming to have some fun, be a good friend, giggle with and hve some sexy steamy rendezvous'. JUST ONE and I can't find him. It's so strange, I don't get it.

Mr. Backgammon, another entire post. When I think about it...I'm getting a little scared.. You know, I haven't had time to post every day lately AND I am getting emotionally backed up. Eew! as I typed that I am thinking about constipation....."take your fiber everyday to ensure regularity". So I guess my blog is my emotional fiber. So does that make my Podcast like an enema? Diarhhea of the mouth!! Okay, now I am grossing myself out!!

So go to my podcast dears! Listen and enjoy...very light listening. And I will definitely be back later.....I feel the need to emotionally release. Hope you don't mind........

Listen at the blog, iTunes or at the feedburners site OR subscribe there too!!

The Sea Has Parted..I've met Mr. Navigator

Well the Red Sea must have parted....I finally met Mr. Navigator face to face. And..........................I don't know. Actually, that's not such a bad thing. In fact, it's probably the best response I have had in a long time. Chris was too soul related (and I got hurt)....Mr. Government was very much a lust and infatuation (which was hot but has me wanting his cock way too much). So, maybe this is a good thing. I am not sure yet.

Well it's 12:30........and I have to go to bed. A lot going on in my head. Mr. Government must sense when I am with someone else...again...he text messaged me on the date!! Curious George and I had a really great convo yesterday that has left a smile on my face all day......And Mr. Backgammon and I had a blowup.....I think we've hit a cybersex wall!!

so I have to sort .......So many penis'...amazing how each one is unique!! I'm glad to report...Mr Navigator has a healthy size penis....lol...No, I didn't sleep with him..........more tomorrow....lol

Wow! I feel like it's been forever since I have blogged. I have been busy job interviewing and really contemplating life.

I have come to the conclusion, that finding a man for an affair is not an easy task. (hee.hee). Actually, I have been giving it a lot of thought and well I don't know what direction I am going to take right now. There are some days when the highs are just so high.............and then others when the lows are so fucking low. So, I am seriously thinking about focusing more on me (and not on the men).

To me, there is this thing called Respect and certain basic rules in life that you live by that just tells someone that you care about them. Curious George, Stud Muffin, Zorro, Booty Caller and Six Pack Man............all wished me a Happy Birthday. And thank you !! It really meant a lot to me!

Chris, text messaged me at 11:56pm.......4 minutes before my birthday but never said happy birthday. I even reminded him it was my birthday and he never text messaged me back. To me, that is stabbing someone in the heart. It's going out of your way to be vicious. Mr. Government knew, Mr. Navigator knew and Mr. Backgammon knew. Yet, not even an email or an text message.

I always say you can't expect something from someone else. And I really try not to....but even if it's a friends birthday (purely friendship)....I try to make that day special for them. Send them an ecard, send them an email, call........do both.....take them to lunch, buy them a little something....it's my way of saying "I appreciate you and I want you to be happy". Now I realize many people don't think like I do (probably that's good for this world--because I am a little offbeat). But I just don't get it.

So what is it? Is it that I am not playing the game? Oh, I so could play the game......but I choose not to. Are some men so primitive that they need to feel the pursuit and attempt to conquer through the whole affair? I prefer the enjoyment......I prefer the closeness, the desire for each other, the fantasy world. I prefer to find someone and I want to make them feel like they are the center of the universe. That they deserve to feel good, they deserve the happiness and they deserve to just have orgasm after orgasm.

I want to find a man who can put the game aside. One who can enter into our own little world where nothing else matters. WE are it. OUR needs are it. Playing, experimenting, exploring............and yes, we return to reality (a few hours later). And then, we email during the week.......and we talk and we are friends. Knowing and respecting that we both have "REAL" lives....and that's the way it should be. But every once in a while, doing something to make the other person smile. To know, they are truly special.

So am I kidding myself? Maybe I am. In the back of my mind, I do have to chuckle in a way. Ironically, the guys who didn't wish me a happy birthday.......I honestly think...they think...they are the only one! Mr. Government asked me if I found someone else, I told him not yet. Mr. Navigator, is so wrapped up in real life that he never even thinks to ask me if there is anyone else and Mr. Backgammon (not even worth mentioning). Little do they know, I am not sitting around waiting for them. I refuse.

So yes, supposedly I am still on with Mr. Navigator for Thursday BUT I didn't answer his last email. I'm waiting for him to realize....he hasn't heard from me in days ! And as for sleeping with each other......we were so HOT there for awhile. The cybersex, the pix, the webcamming......I imagined seeing him and us just screwing wildly. Now, he has to start again.

So, Mr. Married Prince Charming, Are you out there?? I am going to take a bath........Sweet Wet Dreams!!!

Mr. Navigator is GPS-ing out of my heart!

I hate birthdays! It's just another day to reflect and look around AND either love what you see or just bring you down. Or maybe see an airline jet headed right for ya!!

I am sorry, I just don't feel like blogging tonight. Sadly, the realization that Mr. Navigator is not going to be for me......is setting in. Dont get me wrong, he's a really great guy..........if you don't mind being sandwiched and getting fucked in between appointments. Maybe after a couple of months, that wouldn't bother me....but the truth is, if he won't have the time now to call or see me........in 4 months it will be impossible. Supposedly, he can't wait for us to meet. All this planning, all these I can't call today--got two business calls to make-- is not for me.

I'm a high maintenance PITA. I need to be made to feel special....and he's not doing it anymore. Sigh! We are meeting on Thursday BUT I am no longer even excited about it. His penis shots aren't even making me horny anymore........now that's bad. I feel like the dog in the pix...always reaching out and then look what happens. that poor thing!!

Okay, found these pix and they just felt like my day........thought I would share...and SPG,there's a special one there for you!!

Sweet Wet Dreams All!!
I'll leave you with a blast from the past Bryan Adam's song...
"18 TIll I Die"
XOXOX

Freudian Slip- "My Beautiful Cheri"-- Oops!

A funny thing happened...well I should day, I thought it was funny and it was definitely a lesson to be learned for all of us who fantasize, cybersex, cyberflirt or have a secret lover.

Mr. Backgammon was with a girl this weekend. He has had dinner with her a couple of times and on Saturday..then went back to his place for some wild action. According to him, it was hot sex and he liked her (personally she's a little too young for him - but then I am way too old for him so I will put the cat claws away now!!)

They woke up in the morning and still groggy..he turned to her and said went to kiss her and said "My beautiful Cheri ". Needless to say, she asked "Whose Cheri?" Aaah! Quite the Freudian slip there..."Just a friend," he replied. She quickly got dressed, started to cry and ran out. Mr. Backgammon was kicking himself for letting that slip out. The Classic Freudian Slip..... actually he felt horrible and was even more upset that I have gotten to him. I told you how he is a control type and the fact that his brain wanders to me...freaks him out. I tried to explain the cutout theory to him...how he has just placed me into his own fantasies and that is was just cybersex. He wasn't buying it. He says that I've been seeping into his thoughts and dreams.

Well, I need to back off a little with him. I am starting to see those possessive, controlling ways and it's not fair to him. Reality, it can never be. He's single, he's young and I would never, ever jeopardize my family. So, after tonight, a little less backgammon for me.

But we all should learn from this error. I know I worry about it at times. When I am with Mr. Government, I do moan and scream his name. Yup! I admit it. It's been part of our dirty talk, our orgasmic talk....we use names. And I am always afraid, in the heat of the moment (with the hubby or even with someone else) of screaming his name.

So, Cheri's smart cheater rule learned-- pick a nickname. Don't call the person by their real name. "sweetie, baby, sexy, honey"-- a loving generic nickname that if you should call it out--it's safe. Well, I wish I would have thought about this before. Now, I worry about this happening to me.

So Mr. Backgammon, poor thing, I ruined his little love thing and to top it off, it's his dog's vet. So he said, great now I have to find a new Vet for my dog!!

Next Rendezvous Radio Episode--Suggestions?

Yes, it is that time again! To do another episode and I am not sure what to do it on. So, I decided to ask you. what do you think? Any suggestions for topics to cover. I'm thinking about:

WAM- Wet and Messy Sex
Discreet Sex Toys-
Why people have affairs
Sex No, no's -affair with friends co-workers etcetc
Why a married partner is smart
Kama Sutra
Erotica Writing
G-spot discussion
Horror cheating stories

Or anything you may come up with! So help! give me some suggestions.
Oh!! (Link to Ashley Madison site is fixed--thanks Hale)

Quick Update:
I have been spending the week concentrating on my career change--it's exciting and who knows, maybe I will come across Mr. Married Prince Charming there.

The week should start to get interesting:
Mr. Navigator is home and we have been in contact.
Booty Caller- I canceled lunch this time
Mr. Government- suppose to meet for coffee tomorrow.

Sweet Wet Dreams!! I am so exhausted that all I want to do right now would be to entwine my body with someone. That tired, dreamy feeling where sex would be intense, steamy and dreamy. I would love to just stare into someones eyes and do it on a chair. Facing them and just locking our eyes and them slowly lifting me up and down on their hard cock. Simple yet so powerful. Damn I hope I dream tonight. I love waking up disoriented and horny!!